We Did it Out of Love | God is Grey

Stelle, formerly known as Savoury Jacobson, speaks of the "sadistic" corporal punishment taught and implemented by her father Matt Jacobson, who teaches based on the book To Train Up a Child, by Michael and Debbie Pearl. Jacobson - of faithful man.com - is a home church advocate and mentor of Audrey and Jeremy Roloff (Little People, Big World), Dale and Veronica Partridge (Relearnchurch.com), and Jennifer and Aaron Smith (Marriage After God). Also in their network of home churches are Issac and Angie Tolpin (Courageous Parenting.) #Christian #GodisGrey #exvangelical
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[Video Title] | God is Grey
[Video link]
Source materials:
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[@RowanBlake]

what is the best way for us to support?

[@GodisGrey]

Please share this on your socials & ask others to share it. Hold these couples accountable via their socials & emails. They’ve hidden darkness beneath pretty instagrams for too long. Thank you all for creating: #istandwithstelle Love you all xoxox

[@thomasrenovales1298]

@@GodisGrey 1 Corinthians 11 Christ is the head of every man, and a husband the head of his wife,* and God the head of Christ, For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; nor was man created for woman, but woman for man; for this reason a woman should have a sign of authority* on her head, because of the angels. Woman is not independent of man or man of woman in the Lord. For just as woman came from man, so man is born of woman; but all things are from God.

[@GodisGrey]

Thomas Renovales this video is about child abuse. Listen. X

[@jencendiary]

@@thomasrenovales1298 Something, something millstones. . . .

[@salomerichter889]

God is Grey well uveiledwife blocked me after i commented #istandwithstelle under her post. at least that means she saw it

[@ellagris]

say it with me: hitting children doesn’t teach them what they did is wrong, it teaches them to be afraid of ever making mistakes.

[@wmdkitty]

And whatever you do, _don't get caught._ Even if it gets you hurt...

[@hannijazz3276]

And especially afraid of their parents. Btw Satan is referred to as the author of fear. I wonder why...

[@amethystdawn9476]

@ella This is so true!

[@FaerieElethia]

🙌🏼👏🏼

[@rodrick6139]

You never hit a kid, because it doesn’t really teach them anything. Living life and sometimes doing the stupidest things you do is what it takes to finally learn and grow.

[@ladywheatfield4630]

Whenever I see the Pearl's book at a thrift shop or used book store, I buy it so someone else doesn't find it and think the techniques are something they should try. I use the pages to start my fireplace .

[@pennyw2226]

Thank you, good person

[@lee6228]

If enough people buy the book, bookstores will stock up on it..

[@lenawiebe7366]

Lol good idea!

[@ladywheatfield4630]

@@lee6228 I only buy it used. If you buy it new, the Pearl's make money from it.

[@jetpixi13]

Not all heroes wear capes

[@exsanguinateds]

"if you're still crying I'm gonna give you something to cry about" How to give a kid a dissociative disorder 101

[@hello-jy9hf]

oh hey lol you just described me

[@britrah]

My dad, verbatim, said this while abusing us. He didn't have to follow any of these shitty people, he learned it from his Catholic upbringing.

[@charisleighmusic]

It’s sick to shame a child for having a normal reaction to abuse and then threaten them with further violence because you’re annoyed or inconvenienced by their tears you’ve caused. No.

[@jennar.strawberry4938]

Yeah, it's like, "Raise your hand if you were beaten up before the age of two."

[@TheKatarinaGiselle]

What would you say is a better thing to say/do/not do when a child won’t stop crying..and when I say crying, I mean forced/faked (still valid, as the child is still trying to show their emotions and if they learn manipulation it doesn’t matter.they are still children trying to get a response) showing this type of emotion out of wanting to “get” to the parents or wanting to gain attention in a negative manner? (Btw..I end up giving a solution to this towards the middle to end, and although my comment ended up being long, it felt good to write because I kind of came full circle with my thoughts & I also opened up in a very real way, so perhaps you will end up enjoying reading this.) Just asking for the parents of children with opposition defiant disorder or other similar/related mental issues like adhd, etc.. because I understand what you are saying about this leading to an unhealthy adult {trust me as I am a product of this!} _but_ this is something that MANY parents will end up saying at one point or another when they are at their whits end, feeling like they have lost control or their ability to parent in an effectively. Many parents that end up saying this really and truly want & need a better solution that they cant imagine. I can honestly say that I have said this a few times, and it is always after nothing else has worked (trying to teach coping mechanisms, cognitive behavioral therapy, walking away before talking after some time has passed [walking away usually ends up is them being _louder_ ], trying to ignore, etc) I think it would be great if anybody here would like to share a better way of dealing w/ this if you happen to have learned one from personal experience. All parents make mistakes, even when we are trying our best, we are only human and many/most of us have our own trauma and truly DO NOT want to pass down the same negative habits, which it can be difficult to do seeing as how the way we are raised completely shapes and alters our perception in life and how we deal with (or not deal with) our emotions etc..Though I completely believe we can grow, overcome, change, and evolve..sometimes slowly over many years and sometimes quickly just by changing shuttle things about our lifestyle or routine. Our minds are able to reshape/change pathways within the brain and it is possible to retrain our brains to think and react differently (would be great if using mri’s and biofeedback were a tool the lower class could afford.I’ve been wanting to do this at the Amen Clinic for like 3 years now with my family!) But sometimes parents simply feel lost because they never had their own support system and continue to be trying to figure it out on their own without support of their own (also unable to afford a good support system..such as the amen clinic or GOOD psychologists which I have found many ppl with shitty or state insurance can not afford..their insurance will cover only the crappiest of mental health within their area..and though I have used therapy myself and used to go to school for psychology/sociology, my thoughts on therapy have changed and I believe in a more hands on and scientific/spiritual approach such as using tools that are generally only available to the very wealthy) I digress...now, I am NOTHING like these parents (of this woman) so I’m not trying to give you the impression I am anything like them just for admitting I have said that before, but I will say that sometimes, a parent losing their shit _feels_ only solution that brings their child back down to reality in order to actually hear the parent out and find a solution or see a change. Doesn’t mean it’s a positive way to get that change for the child..but we want to see results when we are _that_ frustrated over a long period of time (weeks, months, years). I do find that sometimes we overcompensate because of our childhood, and sometimes that lack of balance results in a lack of respect from our children. I also believe that the relationship of the parents is *SO* key because if one parent isn’t respecting the other, the children take that on, the learned communication from those examples set, and may disrespect one parent over another because they believe that it’s acceptable. Both my fiancé and I have our own issues with our (moms in particular and lack of a consistent father) parents and two people still healing from their own upbringing..it isn’t easy, especially not having outside relationships that are supportive and can assist in our own healing/overcoming/growth/evolution. It’s certainly taught me that we are all human and make mistakes and though I battle with resentment towards my mom, I have been working on forgiving her and getting honest with myself about the (little) things that I may not have admitted to myself that they’ve hurt, and letting go of those things because of what I have learned being a parent. It isn’t easy! Especially when you are scraping to get by. They say money doesn’t bring happiness, but it takes away stress and not just on the parents, but the children. I notice my oldest son WAY more well behaved when we have more money (which isn’t often) but when we do, his _entire demeanor_ changes. It’s usually before he even knows we have money! And it’s not because we end up spoiling him either..he just seems like a weight is off him, even though we try to make things seem like money isn’t an issue. Why? Because kids are _intuitive_ sometimes even more so than many adults, and they understand that more money=less stress all around because they _FEEL_ it from their parents energy. Okay, lol now I’m just rambling about life in general. (Edit: reading time see how it will be read, and I know I still haven’t gotten to the solution I came to, but I promise, I’m getting there) *_CONTINUED IN NEXT COMMENT_*

[@galoreah]

I HATE HATE HATE that sentence, "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about!" I HAD a reason to cry. They may not have agreed with my reasons but they were MY reasons! (Yes, I was abused in the name of 'correction" - a few times with a board)

[@thiab5344]

Agreed!

[@WillEhrendreich]

This is one of the more abusive things a parent can do in my opinion. It is trauma on top of the trauma, and likely the cause of many mental illnesses in people. It is profoundly irrational too, and self defeating. If the goal is less crying, then why do they heap more threats and terror on? It doesn't even selfishly serve their purposes! You're only giving yourself a bigger headache for the trouble, even if you don't even care about anything other than your own selfish preference for silence. It's mind boggling.

[@waterlily2743]

That line was pretty triggering to me. I remember breaking my ankle and crying to go to the doctor, I got spanked for crying to go to the doctor. My donor decided to take me only when it was soo swollen that I could not put on my shoes.

[@foolishdrunk2181]

Yeah, give me five minutes alone with any monster who says "I'll give you something to cry about"

[@EmpireVisualMedia]

Wow. In the seventies & before, this was pretty standard practice. So much so, that I'm pretty sure it made it into a few comedy routines. Remember this next time you get angry with a Boomer.

[@sarafuentes5186]

We need this translated to Spanish! These leaders are being praised in south America. It's not affecting only the U.S but other countries too

[@Purple2749]

Sara Fuentes everyone like this comment so it is seen!!

[@lechuga1583]

If she allowed us to add subtitles, I’d be more than willing to help

[@jetpixi13]

the CC auto translate doesn't seem to be too bad but I don't know enough to know if the tone and feeling makes it through.

[@crhu319]

Should be heavily prosecuted.

[@masolh]

True. I’m a Latin American ex-vangelical and the Pearl’s teachings were taught to my mother in church. Of course she implement them at home. The name of the stick she used to hit us had the sadistic name of “the love wand” (that freaking name also came from the church’s teachings). I’m so glad people are giving visibility to these horrible practices. Hopefully that helps to make a change.

[@peterlosingwendy7]

Jesus would NEVER condone harming a child. End of story.

[@itzelsg8075]

Maarten Henning abuse is different from discipline

[@salem3641]

@@Maarten927 that bible verse is talking about correction from God.. not parents. do your research please

[@phirah79]

@@Maarten927 that passage doesn't explicitly say to spank or hit your child. No one is saying that disciplining your child is bad.

[@zreineart7496]

@@Maarten927 There's plenty of ways you can discipline children without having to hit them.

[@Maarten927]

@@itzelsg8075 "abuse is different from discipline" Yes but it just sounds like the person is saying that Jesus would never spank a child... while the Bible says the opposite...

[@CAHurst-uy9uz]

As a guy, it frustrates me beyond reason that some dudes think women and their children should be subservient to them. 🤦‍♂️

[@emilyfouquettehoffman7886]

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@NRfun]

Your comment makes me happy. Thank you for this. You know, a lot of people forget that we were all born a certain way, and that wasn't a choice. I didn't choose to be a woman. I am not transgender, I don't have a problem with my character or my body. But from a social point I still would've rather been born male. Not to say that men don't have problems, ofcourse they do. But it would just be nice if people didn't say the following to me when I was a kid: "Guys are better", "boys are stronger", "you can't do that (or like that), because you're a girl", "your brother can come home late, but you can't, because you're a girl", "oh, women fighting in a movie? That's so fake!", "why would a woman want to become a top sporter, it's not like she will ever become the best anyway" "you're supposed to be in the kitchen, because you're a girl. All these things I heard as a kid, a lot of them were meant as jokes, but they hurt my core being and that's why I still remember them and they still hurt.

[@commentsiguess1263]

Seconded as another guy.

[@rlundy45]

As a guy, it bothers me that charismatic men belittle and harass men with expressive emotions and a kind heart.

[@CAHurst-uy9uz]

@@rlundy45 True

[@samantham2196]

im at about 18 mins: young children aren't REBELLING when they are "acting out," they often just don't have the words/language/ability to express their needs/feelings. compassionate parenting SHOULD be the cornerstone of Christian parenting, but compassion and patience is often the last thing on many "Christian" parents' minds.

[@Anna-lv2ow]

I agree with you. As a parent myself, it’s because patience doesn’t come naturally, to I would argue anyone. But it is part of being a parent! I have to pray for patience daily.

[@saggguy7]

In a sense they might be rebelling, in that they may be testing your boundaries. that is because they are trying to learn about what is acceptable in the world and what kinds of responses they can expect from certain behaviors. It’s normal and needs to be responded to with GUIDANCE and not abuse.

[@kimberlieweaver2624]

EXACTLY! Compassion requires empathy which comes with having EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE...EQ is what needs to be taught and modeled in ALL families across all cultures/religions.

[@_commonthread]

Ouf, yes! Breaks my heart. I’m sure it breaks the Lord’s heart as well. Grace Based Discipline is one book I have read that I believe talks about this. It’s not push-over parenting, is parenting the way the Lord parents us!

[@LauraMcCullough83]

As a teacher - Agree!

[@해수-x3x]

My mom bought his book when I was around two or three. She tried following it for a week and finally turned to my dad one night, crying, and said ‘This can’t be the right way. I refuse to believe that God wants me to hurt my daughter like this’ and threw it into the trash. I’m so grateful for whatever God put on my mom’s heart to make her do that because I hate to think how it would have impacted me if she had kept following that sadistic excuse for a ‘parenting’ book.

[@ivyrose779]

Sounds like you have a great mom!

[@tatyannanordberg8554]

My parents got drawn into this and thankfully rejected it as well! Unfortunately, many of my friends were raised with this.

[@theglutenfreegamer8074]

My husband is in the military, he's gone all the time. If I sat and waited for him to lead me, girl.. major major financial and personal consequences would follow. I budget, I lead, I make choices. When he gets home again we split the responsibility. We are a *team* one is never less than the other. Ever. Child abuse is never and will never be of God, or out of love. Its disgusting that people can even think this way, what kind of mental gymnastics does someone have to do to convince themselves it's anything BUT malicious and hateful?

[@christopherjohnson2234]

Black Knight Fool please don’t generalize like that. There are straight, gay, and bisexual people who all do similar things. This is cherry picking for the bad people within a larger group.

[@AnastaciaInCleveland]

My sister-in-love was the same as you whenever my brother, a retired Navy officer, was on deployment. She held the household and finances and has done well with them. It was a relief for my brother to come home to stability and comfort with everything taken care of. If he had to be the absolute leader in the marriage, it would have been a terrible burden on him. He wanted a true partner and equal, and he cannot sing my sister-in-love's praises enough. Cheers! ~Anastacia in Cleveland

[@252lg]

Real men do not put their hands on children or think that women are not equal to them. Any man who thinks sexism and child abuse is ok really put the dic into dictator.

[@salem1281]

This abuse leaves lasting scars. If my fiance moves too quickly around me my body will actually wince in preparation to be hit. This is 11 years later and my body remembers. These abusers need to be stopped. I hope Stelle finds strength and healing. Also let's be clear, they don't want women to be quiet and ignorant to make God happy, they want women to be that way because control makes THEM happy.

[@meepmoopmeep1]

I’m sorry for what you had to go though ♥️

[@theravyshow2570]

Gentle thoughts for you dear person.

[@helixmoore7636]

Bingo. Why wpuld YHVH give women a brain a voice etc HE made them exactly as HE needs. These males are headed for deep trouble with YHVH imho. This is turning HIS daughters away.

[@teresahowick5197]

I’m so sorry. That’s awful.

[@uschilou]

My husband is the same way. We've been together 13 years, it doesn't matter, the body remembers. I never move my hands quickly towards him because he'll wince. It breaks my heart! We both have different trauma. It's a long road. ❤❤

[@zreineart7496]

Children should be raised, not put down. This story is heartbreaking.

[@edvh88]

I would add that children should be raised, not trained. They’re not little soldiers!!

[@shiaseedsalad2726]

They should be nurtured and treated gently, like you would a flower. Flowers take in everything aroumd them, so do kids.

[@danielrisk5731]

In other words just time out in a corner to correct a childs negative behavior right question mark !!

[@frozenraspberries1552]

My parents hadn't skimmed through "to train a child" before buying it. But they were like WTF?!! When they did read it. They were spankers btw, but that book was too much for them. I found it when I was 10, and it scared me reading it.

[@feliciaann721]

The Fool you do know straight people do this too, right?

[@noelleirina5628]

Jesus would have never abused a child.

[@Maarten927]

Jesus would not abuse a child, but he would spank a child because the Bible teaches it and God also disciples His children... perhaps watch the KZbin video called: "John Piper - Would Jesus spank a child?" correcting a child out of love through a spank is not evil at all... 6because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”(Hebrews 12)

[@ohuntermc9321]

gross

[@boop99]

@@Maarten927 Spanking is hitting which is abuse

[@cupofcozy708]

Jesus wouldn't let children get abused

[@Maarten927]

@@boop99 "Spanking is hitting which is abuse" Spanking a child out of love is not abuse... the Bible says in Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. What are you going to claim next that killing an animal is murder and thus I should be thrown in jail or what?

[@aditik.8341]

My family isn't Christian, they're Hindu but they believe in the same type of doctrine. Watching your videos are truly helping me to unlearn decades of generational trauma that my family/parents and myself have been through. Thank you for doing all you do.

[@pie1o1morris46]

I'm so sorry, you didn't deserve that. Thank you for having the courage and compassion to break the cycle of abuse

[@lizziescott]

It's almost funny in a sick way. The people who practice this and refer to children as 'rat like' and 'little tirants' are the exact same people who will swear up and down that children are a blessing sent by God, and little angels every women should be blessed with raising. Meanwhile most of the people who don't WANT kids at least know that literal abuse isn't the right way to raise them..

[@elenanojkovic2554]

I know people who actively dislike kids yet would never, every harm a child and would be just as discusted by this as the rest of us. I can almost HEAR a guy I have in mind ranting about this.

[@lizziescott]

@@elenanojkovic2554 Same. Like I don't like kids, I don't want kids. They're annoying and loud. But their annoying and loud BECAUSE THEY'RE KIDS. And that just how kids are. They're experiencing everything for the first time and learning how things work. They don't have a grasp on how to handle emotions or life yet. You shouldn't ever BEAT them for that. It's not their fault it's just human nature.

[@whychoooseausername4763]

Yeah, I'm probably going to have kids, because I love the mind of children. Enough to foster and/or adopt children with disabilities or traumas. Nobody else has to. And you can absolutely be concerned for the welfare of children as members of your community and around the world as people with human and children's rights, while being childless your whole life. Except when you've been brainwashed into believing that your sole purpose in life is to reproduce, and provide more members for your cult.

[@laceyw476]

I also don't like kids and don't want to have any. But hearing about abuse of children still makes me sick and heartbroken. I know nothing about parenting, and I know this is no where near the same thing, but even when training a dog it's been proven that POSITIVE reinforcement is the best and most effective way to train. Abuse and yelling does nothing but cause fear and confusion.

[@laurengilley2926]

Imagine being a Christian and thinking harming children physically and mentally is ok..... can’t relate

[@kentrafrancois6354]

Foreal. That's not being a Christian, that's abuse.

[@danielrisk5731]

So what does GOD say about all this aka the Bible ; his Word question mark !!! Alas crickets !!

[@teresahowick5197]

It’s horrific

[@gabi4205]

@The Fool are you serious? Because if you are, I feel sincerely sorry for you.

[@aubreetanner9543]

@@gabi4205 Username says it all lmao

[@courgette3401]

I am so horrified by all this. I am atheist. Have three adult children, never slapped them once and they have grown to become the most beautiful adults. I taught them by example and explained simply when their behaviour was not what society expects. It wasn’t difficult and as already said they have grown into beautiful kind adults. I’m so sorry for the young lady in this piece. Loving is so more powerful than violence.

[@Maarten927]

" Loving is so more powerful than violence." Probably one of the greatest weapons we have against the devil and demons is love... when Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil He did it through love... "I am atheist." Are all your children also atheists or have they at least realize there must be a creator? Are you an open atheist or biased atheist? If you are an open atheist then I can give you lots of evidence for a creator if you want...

[@bethannierose1885]

Maarten Henning if you don’t like an atheist trying to change your views on your god, dont try to change their view on what they believe

[@49perfectss]

@@Maarten927 That was... interesting I guess. I doubt his kids "realize" anything of the sort as there is no good evidence for that claim and tons for nature being responsible. Most atheists are Agnostic (meaning they are open to hearing your evidence/don't claim a god does not exist) so if you have evidence I for one am all ears. You would be the first. Note: Evidence is an independently verifiable fact or set of facts that positively indicate the truth of your claim over and exclusive to any other. Pay close attention to the "independently verifiable" part there. First person experience is necessarily first person ala David Hume.

[@flamevix]

@@Maarten927 The point of her post was about not harming her children. Her beliefs are completely irrelevant, if not just to indicate it doesn't matter what you believe, just love your children. Respect her view as she clearly respects this lovely Christian KZbinr whose video we are all currently commenting on.

[@flamevix]

@@49perfectss The fact that life even exists is a bit miraculous in itself. How our bodies function just right, how the planet provides for us. But how/why is all up to interpretation. Scientific views of evolution, or faith. Personally, I think it's better to just respect each other's views and live our lives to the fullest while we're here. 😊 There's no need to prove anything, because no one has a true answer.

[@oliviamaynard9372]

"If your parent is the source of fear or pain your brain gives up almost". I so feel that. Sometimes I just feel like a zombie waiting to die.

[@carriekeith2266]

Yes, this exactly. 💔

[@TakiMomoify]

That story about her and her sisters instinctively running to their brother’s defense from their father made me so emotional. _That’s_ where the love of God was in that house. Not in the heavy-handedness of their father, or the silence of their mother. It was in those babies trying to protect one another. I can’t believe a parent would do that to their own child.

[@rlundy45]

Jesus laid his hands over and prayed for children. How does that become striking them? Beating your kids doesn't make you a man. It makes you a sinner.

[@edvh88]

It makes you a bully... sin is such a fraught term...

[@kendallkreidell7299]

It makes you an abuser. A sin is a construct and does not describe the extreme that these kids go through.

[@jjmiles7173]

Spanking isn't beating. Just saying.

[@252lg]

I do not want to be that cliche but Robert Lundy my friend(I hope its ok to call you that you seem cool) you are a real man.

[@imontosomething2609]

@@jjmiles7173 If you hit something real hard it is beating. "Spank" is just a fancy word for beating.

[@laurad6298]

HOW do you prioritize how your child “embarrasses” you in public over their developmental needs? How do you rationalize cherry-picking a child’s personality until they fit YOUR ideal for behaviors without considering the lasting trauma that causes?

[@Aging_Casually_Late_Gamer]

Because they dont want human children. They want children as decorations. For them to look ideal and perfect. Children acting up shatters that mirage, that's why they get upset by it.

[@Anna-lv2ow]

Ya know, there are times where my kids behavior out in public is over the top, and it can be embarrassing. But for the most part, my kids don’t embarrass me because I don’t care what other people think of my kids. I’m not training them I am raising them.

[@DMCdantenero112]

That's what I want to ask my dad and mom... My dad literally tried to convince my therapist that we are the same, and when she confronted him, he began screaming and arguing. They don't see us as seperate personalities with feelings and emotional needs. They see us as extensions of themselves whose main purpose is to make them look good in front of others.

[@wmdkitty]

@@Aging_Casually_Late_Gamer They want little Stepford Smilers who obey without complaint.

[@sosweetastory5633]

Savana G if it gets too bad I will sometimes take my siblings (I have a lot of younger siblings) to a more open place (say the parking lot next to our car) but like, kids are kids they’ll have outbursts people who think they don’t are legit just unable to process kids don’t have adult level capabilities of understand emotion.

[@nithyajoanna2034]

My parents used corporal punishment and all I remember is how confused I was at being hit because there was no rules (sometimes my tone of voice deserved punishment, sometimes it was because I dropped a plate). Then came humiliation and fear, and that sense of walking on egg shells. I never even remembered the actual physical acts, like Brenda mentioned. Corporal punishment is not healthy. As an adult, I fully believe that you should not need to lay a finger on a child to raise them and discipline them. This story is horrific to listen to.

[@Alicat4587]

"sometimes my tone of voice deserved punishment" same here. What was worse, I always had trouble conveying tone. Something would come out rude, when I had no intention of sounding rude. And I always got hit for it. No matter how many times I tried to say I didn't mean to sound rude, they didn't understand.

[@j.kaimori3848]

Same, I only remember a couple smackings, but I remember that while I thought I was in the wrong sometimes I really should have just been talked to (like why should I have felt the need to steal food anyway). Because now as an adult I feel mostly safe but still like I'm walking on eggshells with my parents.

[@ohohnenyeoo2654]

Same

[@Em_Elizabeth]

I'd get slapped for accidental spills, breaking a cup, or for not wearing slippers. Even if the mess was cleaned up, I'd get punished because I still spilled it.

[@ellagris]

hitting your kids doesn’t teach them how to behave, it teaches them how to not get caught. hitting raises fearful, traumatized children. i’m very sorry for how you were raised, you did not deserve to go through that. i’m glad you plan on being kind to your children❤️

[@sws3013]

The idea that you’re not allowed to physically “pull away” from mommy or daddy enforces the idea that your body isn’t your own. So when abuse happens it’s easier to accept and feel you deserve. Horrible.

[@saraH-yu1mx]

“You’re still crying, I’m going to give you something to cry about.” My dad always said that and I actually felt physically ill when I heard it. I have complex PTSD from an abusive childhood and I went on to marry an abusive man. I had the courage to leave and always stood up for myself but still deal with systemic abuse and trauma from my own family. I also will never be able to trust a man besides my brother(and son). I’ve been scared of men my whole life and only started understanding this a few years ago, right before I turned 30.

[@zmckeown1199]

You are so incredibly strong, I hope you can get some sort of therapy to ease you pain, you matter and deserve happiness ❤️

[@mhuwae]

❤️

[@saraH-yu1mx]

Zoë McKeown Thank you. I’ve had a lot of therapy, including trauma therapy and hypnosis, but nothing has really helped so far. I hope I find the answer some day.

[@hannahspencer5430]

i’m so proud of u, for simply existing through this.

[@hailyjohnson407]

I know you posted this almost a year ago, but you are so strong, and I'm so happy for you that you had the strength to leave. I don't know where you stand with God, but I hope that as a viewer of this channel that you are healing ❤

[@jermwerm2575]

Sorry but Jesus loved and protected children. He would never, EVER condone any form of abuse.

[@miimionni]

The Hill are u ok? why target lesbians? what did they do lol

[@mistid1485]

@@thehill8353 Dude, there are fucked up people of every sexual orientation.

[@thehill8353]

@@mistid1485 Yes but lesbians tend to have a disproportionate hatred for men and boys and that is the underlying motivation of the channel generally.. It's not just here but every race and every culture seems to have the same problem with that demographic acting the very same way

[@johnjustjohn9993]

I don't mean to be that guy but there are a lot of lines in biblical text that condones all levels of violence

[@heartdragon2386]

@@thehill8353 that is absolutely not true. I would love to know where you got that idea, but I assure you, it is absolutely false. Are there outliers? Yes, guaranteed. Is it horrible? Absolutely. Is it a trend? No.

[@kayhaven4710]

My parents, without really realizing it, tried so hard to break my spirit. Because I was the problem child, I was disciplined for every little thing. Every bad mood was the work of spiritual attack from satan. Every struggle trying to understand the rules or how to pronounce words was deemed being rebellious. But I’m still here. I did not die. I will get better. I will recover from the emotional, verbal, spiritual, and physical abuse. And one day, I hope to still find God.

[@xandermin]

God bless you & your healing journey 💛

[@thebabygiraffe4921]

You are not alone. God has brought so many people in my life to redeem each point of pain. You will get your redemption.

[@phoebejanemiller1671]

God bless you!!! I hope you find a life full of love, peace, and happiness ❤️🙏🏻

[@johnwalker1058]

God bless, and good luck on your journey, your recovery, and on finding what you seek.

[@malloryjines5050]

God will find YOU Kay, just keep your heart open to be able to hear His Voice. I’m sorry for your pain. My dear husband of 45 years is a wounded soul like that as well. His folks are gone now but the memories he and his sister still carry in their 60’s is so sad

[@sophiaredwood5825]

I grew up in a Christian household that I later found out was toxic and abusive and that almost took my life or caused me to relinquish my faith. After God helped me recover, I heard about the book To Train Up A Child and called all my local Christian bookstores to tell them what exactly the book was and to advise them to remove it. I had to. I was on the verge of tears hearing about all of the psychological horrors being done to others’ lives... I’ve lived that. I’ve lived a life where God is used to justify the cruelest of actions that are NOT love, no matter how they’re labeled. No child deserves to grow up this way. It’s horrid.

[@caseyw.6550]

Bless you, love!

[@parkerfrench2996]

God loves you and honors your strength. Did the stores remove those awful books, I wonder?

[@sophiaredwood5825]

Parker French None of them I called who picked up said they had it, but I left messages for quite a few of them and I’m going that if they had the books, they don’t now.

[@BSR-zy2so]

@The Fool Sure, but that's just what-aboutism. I think you're a troll, though. Another account is posting what you're posting word for word. I just wish you wouldn't spread hatred of LGBT people. I live in Oklahoma, and people genuinely make the points you're making to limit our rights, even though it's just one long string of fallacies.

[@BSR-zy2so]

@The Fool You've said quite a bit about LGBT people, particularly lesbians, in your other posts. We're all just normal people for the most part. There's a minority of people from every group of people who say and do unethical things, but as a whole, we just want equal rights, including marriage and adoption rights. We're not trying to control your children as you've mentioned in other postings. Most people aren't lesbians because they hate men. We're lesbians because we're sexually or romantically attracted to other women. We still maintain friendships and familial relationships with men, though. Being a lesbian says nothing about our views on feminism or any other ideology at all.

[@saralopez8209]

So tired of white, cis, straight, evangelical men saying they are “persecuted” 🙄

[@Anna-lv2ow]

I know right!!!!

[@Em_Elizabeth]

Martyr complex

[@reconnu3126]

They want to be oppressed 🤭

[@camillefaith2005]

sara lopez Thank you.

[@Aging_Casually_Late_Gamer]

bUt DoNt YoU SeE? the commie, socialist, divierse, gay, trans, feminist, nazi atheists are just hiding the fact they are persecuting us. (Did I use all thier scary buzzwords? I think i did)

[@andreakoroknai1071]

a small child being a "tyrant" is a normal developmental phase, they can't be expected to be on the same cognitive and empathetic level as an adult. Sure, kids need structure and boundaries, but these people look at their kids like they are their enemies, I have a feeling it comes from a deep self-loathing that this religious fanaticism instills in the parent.

[@Alex-rw9nn]

Andrea Koroknai yes, children are at around age 2 naturally going to learn to test the boundaries, and that is natural, not disturbing, not wrong, just show them the right path, with kindness, not self righteousness

[@maitie6258]

Exactly, this is when children need the most patience. It’s disturbing that these people see Satan and sin in their babies. When I first held my babies I felt like a was holding LITERAL angels, just the purest beam of light and in that moment I vowed I would never raise my voice nevermind my hand.

[@joelhathaway8836]

I grew up in a fundamentalist church but I don't think I was ever called a "tyrant". The paddle wasn't spared but this is horrific

[@aluco642]

“Does she have many of her own ideas” and “intelligent” really caught me off guard in those insta posts. How is that a bad thing in a woman? God didn’t create me to fulfill a man’s life, he created me to pursue science and medicine and make worthwhile advances! I think these people forget how much they owe to women. And abusing children is just disgusting. Some people take the Bible way too literally

[@bananewane1402]

Intelligence and creativity are good character traits, no? They’re only bad if the person in question is one you’re trying to control and abuse.

[@helixmoore7636]

Absolutely.🥰

[@audreygirouard4974]

Yes!! Totally agree with you. God is there to guide us to be the best version of ourselves, not to follow someone else. Keep working hard and you'll do great things, I am sure of it

[@thehill8353]

"Does she have many of her own ideas” and “intelligent” really caught me off guard in those insta posts." You can't see anything suspicious about what is specifically chosen and the way it's framed?

[@sparklythings22]

right?! if these people think a woman's place is only in the home and that women shouldnt be intelligent, then they shouldn't use anything invented or discovered by a woman! see how far that gets them 🤷‍♀️

[@mariah8855]

It’s always “spare the rod spoil the child” why don’t we go further down and speak about “parents do not provoke your children to anger”

[@Aging_Casually_Late_Gamer]

What's so annoying about that excuse too is that it's clearly just talking about discipline in general. Like appropriate discipline for when they do wrong. It's not like its saying, "beat your child for any infraction".

[@WillEhrendreich]

Because then they couldn't cherry pick supposed "proof texts" in scripture that support their sin. This is why a correct, scholarly hermeneutic with proper exegesis based in the culture of the people it was written to, and taking into account genre of literature. All truth is God's truth. The heart is indeed wicked and deceitful, and the heart of this wicked man is deceived into thinking that abuse is love. It's not. It's called sin. It's evil. God is not evil, therefore, this cannot be from God. Jesus died for the sins of the whole world, and we are all sinners who need that substitutionary atonement. The actions of this man are a result forgetting that we have been forgiven for an infinite wrong, and then not forgiving people of a miniscule wrong. Jesus hated this and condemned it. The submission that is biblical looks nothing like this.

[@maddiejoy7896]

Or just look at that verse a little more. It’s a shepherd’s rod. When was the last time you saw a shepherd beating their sheep with a rod?

[@duckwithoneleg00]

Spare the rod, spoil the child isn’t even a verse in the Bible. It’s from a satirical poem about domestic violence 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@sonjadover2715]

Do not provoke your children to anger? Are you serious? The child screaming on the floor at the supermarket has been provoked? I remember being angry with my mum for insisting it was time to go home from the park. The sun was still up, in my opinion we could have stayed longer. Leaving didn't make sense in my child's mind. Was my mother provoking me? I understand you're being supportive of a positive conversation against domestic violence, but angry fussy children aren't being provoked, they're misbehaving. It's normal and can be dealt with reasonably with patience.

[@jenniferflower9265]

Boy, that book was recommended to me when my kids were young and I first became a homeschooling Christian. I barley started following it and it just did not feel right, so I dropped it fast. I felt like a bad mom who was going to raise her kids to be wild and unruly because it was so popular in the church I was in. I ended up just doing what came natural, talking to my kids, using stories and natural conciquences that life naturally holds and my kids, who are now mostly all adult, are such great respectful people. I couldn't be happier with my kids. None of them went through rebellion, they all say they felt respected growing up, they hold space in their minds for others. Needless to say, I'm so glad my instinct was stronger than the sheep. 😊

[@phoebejanemiller1671]

Jennifer Flower your kids are so lucky they had such a great mom! It sounds like you led by love and kindness- always the best way!

[@user-wb5vi2wt9o]

This is so heartwarming to read, I hope you have a nice day

[@minionbruce]

Going through the same questioning and anxiety about raising wild and "undisciplined" children by choosing not to follow the "Train up a child" method. I was "trained" that way. My parents were homeschooling, home-churching, Michael and Debbie Pearl followers and I am trying to break the pattern of abuse. Do you have any resources to recommend? I don't believe in brainwashing and hitting my children and I need new methods to convince my husband there are other and better ways.

[@minionbruce]

@mf Honey thank you! That's a great idea.

[@lowkeylonely4265]

@@minionbruce I'm not a parent, but a lot of people say to think from the mind of a child. I think boundaries and discipline are necessary, but hitting your child is not. Discipline shouldn't be for you but for the child. If you're angry and yell at them, that's not discipline, it's abuse. If your child does something wrong or potentially harmful, try to help them understand WHY it's harmful, not just that it's bad. I'm not the greatest authority on this, but growing up I wish I could have been spoken to more and spanked less.

[@lilygrace6605]

"I've been holding my breath since I was a child. My parents may yell at me for this, but at least I'm breathing" this made me tear up. Thank you, Brenda for bringing us Stelle's story, and thank you Stelle for sharing this with us.

[@amyblaine7624]

I’m not a Christian, I have no interest in being a Christian myself, but you live your life with light and love. You use Christianity to bring positivity to the world and don’t force it on others. I really really appreciate you💗💗

[@burgersbiblesaeh849]

I appreciate that about her. First time I have heard someone that really is living the way Christian's are intended to. This is awesome stuff. 🖤✌

[@twentyfingles3885]

One thing I noticed through reconstructing my faith is one thing, people follow “Christianity” not Christ. That’s why I’ll never ever listen to these type of people and enjoy my relationship with Jesus, my Lord and Savior, my comforter, my peace and patience, understanding and passion❤️❤️✝️

[@victoriageorge8416]

I absolutely agree!!! You could not have said it better. I love this statement so much and I relate on so many levels!

[@aviolet3981]

Same ❤️

[@debbydee6633]

Exactly Church culture is so toxic honestly

[@BSR-zy2so]

I'm an atheist, but I've noticed this too. I don't agree with everything the Jesus character said in the gospels, but there's no denying that he was incredibly socialistic and distrustful of wealth in general. Despite this, most mainstream Christians vehemently oppose socialistic policies. It's so bizarre to me. I'm almost certain that we read different books when they talk about the Bible or Jesus.

[@kentrafrancois6354]

That is absolutely true.

[@scherronhorrigan9336]

I am 32 years old and still suffering the psychological effects of being raised in a physically and emotionally abusive home disguised as Christianity. The wounds will never heal. Thank you for bringing this to light, truly I never realized so many others went through the same trauma. It's good to know I'm not alone ❤

[@SageGarlandSingerSongwriter]

Wow. Scrolling through the comments, there are so many people downplaying their own abuse. "A little" child abuse is child abuse. Child abuse "every once in a while" is child abuse. Downplaying your experiences encourages abuse. It discourages people in a similar situation as you from getting help or speaking out. It excuses people like your abusers. Cut it out everyone. Thank you!

[@debbydee6633]

I believe that raising a child with fear is so awful, if the only reason your child isn't doing something is because they're scared of you, and not because you made them understand the thing is wrong and they respect you, then something is wrong The horrible thing about raising a child with fear is that once they're in a position where you have no power over them, and they have no reason to be scared of you anymore they will lose respect for you Also it is near impossible to have an emotional bond with someone you are scared of It is emotionally damaging to children because they are constantly torn between the anger that their parents show, and the love they feel for their parents

[@honeybunny7467]

Omg this couldn’t be more true, I feel these words xoxo

[@lilymei5367]

Chuck B there’s no healthy fear what the fuck? There’s a difference between respect and fear, you should respect you’re parents if they deserve that respect you should never be afraid of your parents, sorry.

[@sentienttapioca5409]

@Chuck B The key word being 'healthy'. As in, a child should be aware of all their parents/guardians do for them, aware of what is expected of them, (e.g. completing chores, doing homework, using good manners) and also aware of the consequences of misbehaviour, but more importantly a child should be taught morality and empathy. A simple smack over the head for a slip-up is only going to push a child to hide their shortcomings from their parents, especially if the parents provide no explanation as to why the child's actions were wrong. Fear of the parent becomes fear of later relationships, ranging from friendships to romantic attachments. Raising children in fear only creates fearful, anxious adults. Communication is far more constructive, not to mention humane.

[@jencendiary]

@Chuck B This is abuse. Delete your account.

[@debbydee6633]

@Chuck B you're just describing respect

[@krystyndaniels5212]

I'm seeing this and I'm thinking about everything I went through. I was homeschooled, monitored to the point of obsession, and not allowed to stay home from church or have my own ideas. It was hell

[@hannahmew9194]

I hope you are in a better place in your life and your relationship with God if you are still religious

[@krystyndaniels5212]

@@hannahmew9194 I am currently married and have a 9 month old, my husband and daughter are the loves of my life. I am not sure where I stand on faith except that I am attempting to reconstruct it.

[@hannahmew9194]

Rose Daniels it’s ok not to know everything when reconstructing and you are already so brave and strong for even trying to reconstruct

[@natalee7726]

I hope and pray that you are living a happier, safer life now. And if you are not, I sincerely pray that you find your way to safety and happiness

[@Indiegirl007]

I was raised the same way. Its one of the reasons why I am so against homeschooling. I feel like a lot of damage can be done.

[@channelname6232]

Train kids to never pull away from mommy or daddy. This is deranged. Gross

[@guttergrl4982]

What do you mean pull away?

[@boop99]

@@guttergrl4982 They quoted the guy in the video

[@thevampireyahweh5253]

Yeah, he literally spanked his kids for being scared of him, I think. My mom was the same. Flinching away is seen as rebellion. Being a silent, detached, glassy eyed zombie is godly submission.

[@kentrafrancois6354]

Exactly. It's manipulation and disgusting.

[@ohohnenyeoo2654]

The Vampire Yahweh exactly. It’s sad, it truly is.

[@r0xanne_d0ll]

Imagine being religious and seeing a child is being "sinful" and the only way to to discipline them is to abuse their spirit to the point it corrupts them. This type of christianity ruins Christian's reputation as loving and respectful. Jesus would be disappointed in these people.

[@technoloverish]

And not that every single thing in the New Testament is perfectly peaceful, but my understanding is that the over message of the New Testament is relatively pacifistic. While Christ did tell believers to uphold various Mosaic Laws, such as laws against adultery, he wasn't authoritarian about it and isn't shown to have promoted worldly punishments for those things, so I can't see him favoring physical aggression against children for misbehaving. Christ's overall style is turning the other cheek. Not to mention, corporal punishment often is done out of anger, which a Christ follower should avoid as much as possible.

[@Paola-jf2qf]

miracledoubtfire I have gotten upset at my toddler, given him one spank on his bottem, then place him on his time out bear. ( Time out bear is this really big flat bear rug. It is very comfortable and safe. In case he needs to lay down or take a minute or have a tantrum.) After a min or two I will talk about why that was not safe. Hugs and kisses. We then move on from it. He is a toddler. I would not spank him to hurt him, or scare him. I hate spanking actually. We mainly stick to No and time out. The video of him hitting the child with a stick. I want to take the stick and hit him. As the spank on his bottem I don't I think I would do it if he was not in a diaper. I notice that is was more because I got upset and lost it. I felt so bad as well and told my husband and parents.

[@jasminecollins897]

The Bible does literally contain a great deal of punishment and cruelty, often directly from God or ordered by God. There's a reason this is so common. It doesn't mean anyone is a bad person for being Christian, but it is very much direct from the Bible. That God is called love, but he's apparently willing to punish all of us in much worse ways even though we were designed to "sin," according to the Bible. The Bible also includes God torturing Job by killing all of his children. He then replaces his children with new ones, as if that makes that any less horrifying. He orders death and punishment many times throughout the Bible. These people are following a very clear example in that book with their attitudes.

[@RoseEyed]

Honestly there is no valid reputation for Christians to have. Christians aren't INHERENTLY anymore loving and respectful than anyone else.

[@burgersbiblesaeh849]

Amen for real.

[@thevampireyahweh5253]

I clicked this video and was greeted by Michael Pearl. My day is ruined. My mom loved this guy. Normally I don't support book burning, but . . .

[@CityKanin]

Burn it!

[@PinKpAndAs1]

Same man....

[@EmmaAndEmmaAndEmma]

"It's unloving to let their child sit in their self-depravity and continue on in their sin"?!?! I'm sorry, but NOTHING about the normal navigation of childhood should ever be referred to in the language of "sin." How insecure of an adult do you have to be to see your child's crankiness as "sin"?! Yes, kids are disobedient. Yes, kids are difficult. Yes, kids act out, fight, lie, talk back, etc. Because their brains are GROWING. They're still LEARNING what makes right right and what makes wrong wrong, and EXPERIMENTING with how to navigate their own autonomy vs. consideration for others. That's what every growing human being does. There's nothing wrong with correcting when a child acts in an inappropriate way, nor with guiding them toward more thoughtful and considerate choices. But to characterize normal childhood (especially toddler!!!) development as "sinful" is just plain abusive.

[@nayelizazueta9433]

Emma Moser 100% This broke my heart so much 💔💔💔😭

[@Aging_Casually_Late_Gamer]

More than abusive, it's down right hateful.

[@helixmoore7636]

Its not insecurity its pure evil. These men are evil.

[@awilson8521]

By definition, a sin is a moral offense, a moral wrong. Lying is wrong, and therefore, lying is a sin. I agree, children are learning right from wrong, aka children are learning right from sin. Characterizing a wrong as sinful is not abusive, yet beating a child is both physically tramatic and morally wrong (thus sinful) and should not occur. I agree with you that age should be taken into account when choosing consequences, and pretty much everything else you said.

[@nshadex72]

thank you so much for this. what you said right here is so important. more people need to realize this and listen to criticism for once.. like seriously.

[@laurengilley2926]

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” - Galatians 2:28

[@annmarie04]

Galatians 3:28, but great verse!

[@williamchristensen7354]

The original creed of the Jesus movement. Beautiful.

[@meganward7514]

This verse is misinterpreted all the time. It’s not saying that there isn’t gender or different cultures. It’s saying no matter what you are or where you come from- if you follow jesus you are one in Him (with Him). It’s describing the relationship vertically with God not horizontally with other people if that makes sense. There’s definitely Jews and Greeks, at the time there were slaves and masters and there’s definitely male and female. Anyone can follow jesus.

[@meaganhaynes]

I’m not sure if anyone else has said this, but I find it hard to believe at least some of these fundamentalist homes don’t have a sexual component to the abuse.

[@Call-me-Al]

Painfully likely.

[@lowkeylonely4265]

I feel that it definitely happens behind the curtains. Your children must do everything you say, act happy and content at all times, are not allowed too pull away or flinch from you... Seems like the perfect way to cover up/enable sexual abuse.

[@alekseiphoenixpoirier8673]

Oh, they do. My father was a pedophile who raped me from age 3 to age 8. Then when I was a teen, I had to sign a purity contract with him. It was very gross and I'm no longer speaking to him and have since moved far away. He was a fundamentalist out of convenience, as it was the perfect environment for him to be an abusive, sadistic pedophile.

[@ellagris]

Tris Phoenix Elzen i’m so sorry for what you went through. i’m very happy you’ve cut ties and are far away from the situation.

[@jackandpicklesvlogs]

Most do which is why in book they follow, there's actually a section on what to do if there's sexual abuse in the family.

[@ladycaticorn2950]

Holy hell, calling a toddler a TYRANT? Really? Good lord, it's called the terrible two's and terrible three's for a reason. It's a normal part of childhood development. It's not a reason for violence or viewing children as rebellious spirits that need to be broken. My heart goes out to Stelle. I experienced corporal punishment as a child and was traumatized by it, but not to this extent. Her parents utterly failed her, but she is so brave for coming out and exposing their violence.

[@chloer3024]

I was abused by my pastor dad for 16 years and still live in the house with him. It was truly a trip realizing what happened looking back. Thank you for this❤️

[@xandermin]

i hope you find a better place soon, it must be difficult living in that house 💔

[@chloer3024]

xander I’m getting an apartment with my friend soon! It is hard but I’m getting by. Thank you

[@chloer3024]

Angel Josue 17 it means the world💕

[@Goat.Cheese]

I wont be able to watch this because it will be extremely triggering for me due to my own story of abuse, but thank you for covering this. Your channel talks about the things nobody else will ❤

[@stremblay1320]

Hope you find peace honey ❤️ I don't know what you've been through but I can tell you, God loves you xx

[@amarawhite2760]

This monster never took psychology or child psychology CLEARLY.... This is sickening. God calls children innocent... we even acknowledge they have an "age of accountability" meaning... THEY DO NOT DO IT INTENTIONALLY.... if it isn't intentional... it isn't sin....

[@vintagearisen]

They'll say child psychology is worldly teaching. When I majored in Psychology- at an evangelical college, no less- my dad gave me this book cautioning me about the "worldliness" of psychological theory 🙄🙄

[@daxbruce3491]

@@vintagearisen anything to keep you broken.

[@sirenthomas4595]

Many don't bc they believe psychology is satanic ...I sat through a sermon that was basically saying mental illness is a demon and psychologist are casting spells on people ..I'm not kidding I've even heard pastors speak down on women seeking child support

[@thatstylishgirl546]

As a Christian who has grown up in this culture, I started crying 30 seconds into the video.

[@cortney3798]

My heart bursts with pride when I think of my children. I was a young mom (5 by the time I was 20 because of 2 sets of twins). They taught me as much as I taught them. Now they are 19, 19, 16, 15, 15. Imma give them extra hugs tonight and annoy the hell outta them. Damn man.

[@chandraa5333]

I was hit as a kid, not nearly as bad as what's in these videos I wasn't hit that often. But the times I was I can remember those emotions. And I genuinely see it as low level abuse. I said to my dads cousin once "I never want to hit my kids" and she said "trust me, you will" its so normalized, I can't believe abuse is normalized. Nobody has the right to hit someone else because they did something you didn't like. Especially when you have more power over them, your stronger, smarter, and the power to seriously hurt them. If you only way to teach your kids wrong from right is to hit them you're a bad parent.

[@outoSUMI]

When you keep in mind that children are people, it's easier to understand how absurd hitting them is.

[@chloedsmith]

@@outoSUMI apparently too many adults forget that. Especially in brown/black homes, somehow it's a "white people thing" to treat your children like human beings who also deserve a basic level of respect. That's just been my experience though.

[@LaurieLuLu]

Hiccups I think it’s also worth noting that for people of color, there are usually harsher consequences for “insubordination”, acting out, breaking rules/laws in society and in environments outside of the home. So a lot of sociologists believe that corporal punishment in families of color is deeply rooted in generations of training children to be compliant for their own survival in a society that is unlikely to be forgiving.

[@mistid1485]

My mom would spank me and my brother as kids. It wasn't that bad...compared to the times when we flipped her anger switch and she screamed (when I say scream, I mean scream) and she would do more than spank us. It only happened a few times tho. I remember telling her what you told your dads cousin and she said the same thing...

[@Yakarash]

I experienced this kind of abuse as a child. I hate that it seared itself into my brain. There have been times, when I hit my child out of reflex. I am thankful that God continues to work on my broken brain. And it makes my hate myself so much that I have failed my children those times. I don't ever want them to be afraid of me.

[@birdie4220]

I am in tears becuase I grew up with Micheal Pearl's books literally scatter through the house. I am still learning how to not cringe physically when I see a man lift his hand. There are so many people who believe this doctrine where I live. It is truly a cult today my sibling and I are pressing charges on my father so we can save our youngest siblings from the horror we've been through.

[@Mel-pb5xw]

So very sorry you had to endure such an environment & I wish you & your sibling all the the best aa you try to help your younger brothers/ sisters; they are certainly lucky to have you.

[@laurengilley2926]

Psalm 127:3 “Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him” Jesus would never hurt a child! End of story!

[@lelomotaung846]

Personally as a Christian, I don’t agree with this. This man is using a religion to condone child abuse, and this is not okay, how does he feel comfortable using a religion to do things like this? On which planet, galaxy, religion, belief, eco-system, is this okay!? I am absolutely appalled by this mans behavior

[@musicforeverr1]

Hey Stelle! This took a lot of bravery. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your experiences. You’re giving a voice to so many people, and you’re so important to this world.

[@MSL7991]

It is such a shame that some women cannot acknowledge their capability or intelligence. I don't believe in God, however, I do believe this issue transcends religion and needs to be addressed more.

[@thaliawolfsbanemoon6858]

Not gonna lie, I thought that comment was going somewhere else and I was very concerned. Whew. Totally agree with you, though I do believe in a deity.

[@reconnu3126]

@The Fool What does being lesbian have to do with the crime? I'm not sure if you realise this but throughtout history and now many cis and straight couples/people have abused and harmed their children due to personal issues. The articles have nothing to do with the fact that these couples are lesbian.

[@laurasnell9344]

This really really hit home for me and was so reassuring. I grew up in a “christian” cult almost exactly like this. I was the first to start questioning this rotten doctrine and to start challenging it. Growling up I was a little girl who’s personality was “too strong and outspoken” because of this it was a ritual that every Sunday afternoon I would get whipped by a belt or beaten with a wooden paddle hand crafted by my father. He took great pride in it. But my abuse didn’t hurt me near as much as the Psychological and physical abuse I saw my mother being put through. Still to this day you can see how unhappy she is and you can see scars that still haven’t healed. Also because of how brainwashed I was I still have major paranoia and anxiety. But I have been through intense therapy to help ease my anxiety. I am one of seven children, and at 17 I signed up for the military to get the hell out. I pray for my siblings and my mother everyday for a way out. Again thank you so much for sharing this!🙏🏽

[@margaretforsey7763]

I am so sorry that you experienced such abuse, and had to witness your siblings and mother being abused as well. I am so glad that you got out. Best wishes to you going forward. I hope that your siblings and mother will get out, too.

[@christiansamos731]

This is like a reflection of my childhood and my heart is still in so much pain.

[@thatwitchychick2717]

Hitting children is one of the worst crimes I could imagine. I'm an atheist and I very much enjoy your channel. Growing up, my parents were not religious but they beat and abused myself and my sister mercilessly. It got to the point where during said beatings, I would dissociate from my body and that would cause them to get angry and beat me harder. I understand what it's like to suffer from extreme abuse and watching people use the bible to justify it terrifies me to my very core. These people are on the same level as Michael and Debbie Pearl and I just don't know why anyone would have children if this is what you're going to do to them. :( It's heartbreaking.

[@angeldream1]

"They're selling a lie." It was so brave of her to speak out and for you to make this video and tell the truth. I often fantasize about being able to tell my story one day and the truth about the people who hurt me too. I'm still afraid.

[@Alex-rw9nn]

aubrey and it’s okay to still be afraid, I went through some hard things when I was really young that I still can’t deal with, you will be ready when you’re ready, and that’s okay.

[@isabelle_4207]

I am autistic and female and went undiagnosed well into my late teens I had such a hard time at a young age with empathy and understand that my actions could impact others. I was incredibly intelligent at some tasks and extremely “late blooming” in others. I dread to think what may have happened to me with parents like these and I worry for children like me that needed a lot of patience and understanding in households like this. It’s bad enough for neurotypical children but my heart aches for those with disabilities being abused at the hands of fundamentalists who think they can beat obedience into a child who needs love

[@hobocode]

im autistic and was abused like this. the chronic toxic stress has wreaked havoc on my body. i was beaten, screamed at for hours every day, denied sleep most nights, starved for years, denied medical care, and worse. it happened for 17 years - every single day. my mom supported him and was violent as well. I am middle aged now and bedridden with diseases most people don't get until their 80's or 90's because of the incredible stress placed on my body. even after I "escaped" i had to cope with homelessness, poverty, and complete shunning because I refused to obey anymore. I said I'd rather die. and they did everything possible to ensure I did die.

[@nikkiaddison5998]

This video is literally breaking my momma heart. I currently have a 2 year old son, and I can’t even fathom treating him this way.

[@nikkiaddison5998]

Kenton Bowers I am so sorry that you had to go through this. I experienced spanking as a child (nowhere near this though), and even that has messed me up quite a bit. What I’ve learned from my childhood is this: my child will never experience the things that I did. I can do better.

[@duckwithoneleg00]

Same 💔. Mine are 8, 5, and 3. I have never hit them. And they aren’t tyrants.

[@icantthinkofagoodname1838]

Same. I'm looking at my sleeping 5 yr old and wondering how any one could possibly see someone so innocent and beautiful as an awful tyrant. I want to hug him extra and cry. 😢

[@pineapplefox3673]

When she said, "i need to be more ignorant" I got chills. Thats horrifying. That's dangerous.

[@lisabepunkt4212]

The couples appear so loving and gentle among each other on their pictures. It's so disturbing that the same people promote corporal punishment. My heart goes out to all the victims of psychological and physical violence. Corporal punishment is at least a sign of helplessness (or even worse) of the perpetrators , not a sign of love. There's no way to sugarcoat domestic violence and we must call it out as long as there are people who are harmed by this agenda. Love is not harmful and it does not seek to destroy a loved one mentally or physically. There are loving ways to educate children and I'd be glad if you, Brenda, would talk to someone who is an expert on violent-free education to show there's an alternative out there and parents can be respected by their children without any use of spanking or even worse.

[@hannahmew9194]

God or the Bible is not black and white and the other side of this toxic theology needs to be shared

[@emilyfouquettehoffman7886]

I’m sure they’re very happy! The psycho men get their dream lives and the women have been brainwashed to be eager to adore and may I say even Worship!- said men and think it’s the greatest thing ever 🤦‍♀️

[@lisabepunkt4212]

@@emilyfouquettehoffman7886 well, I don't even want to imagine what it's going to be like if they wake up one day and realize what has happened.

[@wickednwyld]

@@lisabepunkt4212 - Does the name Loreena Bobbitt mean anythjng to you? 😉

[@BSR-zy2so]

Shout out to the Satanic Temple for their advocacy against corporal punishment in schools!

[@charisleighmusic]

This is so sad. This is how you get millions of people saying, “But this person loves me” when their being abused by a partner. I’m glad she’s out. I know of this book and I’m disgusted. Kids have died. This kind of child rearing demonizes children and makes parents doubt their gut feelings. The Pearls must be stopped.

[@jnl3564]

My dad used to tell me "this hurts me more than it hurts you" right before he used a wooden board to beat my backside. He would become furious that i would put my arms behind me to protect myself. He thought my instincts for self preservation was a sin and sometimes he just hit my arms.

[@xyz2813]

Anyone who does this to their child is not a Christian. Period.

[@gabriellabohus6193]

You should take a look at the comments on the transformed wife’s video about spanking. They are horrifying to read...

[@jessicayoung3656]

Unfortunately, thats the no true scotsman fallacy. Lots of people who claim to be christians abuse their children.

[@BSR-zy2so]

That's really insulting to non-Christians. There are bad people of every faith and lack thereof. This is just Christian exceptionalism, similar to what you would see in a God's Not Dead movie. It's harmful to both Christians and non-Christians.

[@BSR-zy2so]

@@thehill8353 As a lesbian myself, I can tell you that we have no desire to control your children, and we aren't uniquely abusive because we're lesbians. What happened there was abuse and a tragedy, but their actions don't represent all lesbians, or even many of them. You're just cherry picking a case to criticize lesbians. If you look, you'll find many more cases of abuse toward transgender and homosexual people by non-lgbt people. This sort of rhetoric is used all the time to keep us from adopting children and to curtail our rights, but people should know better.

[@aubreetanner9543]

Yeah, that is the no true scotsman fallacy. You can't change the definition of Christian to exclude the people who make Christianity look bad, because those people consider themselves Christian and do what they do because of Christianity.

[@hannahmew9194]

I pray for any child going through this. I know people who work for the government to get kids out of child abuse and this is definitely abuse Also love your hair Brenda

[@lisabepunkt4212]

Hopefully a lot of abused children can get saved and recover from their trauma.

[@rachelturenne]

He sounds like a false teacher who is misconstruing God’s Word, and it’s so sad and messed up!

[@Maarten927]

What that guy did is nothing compared to what satanists do to their children... how they rape and abuse them and use their children as sacrifices to satan etc...

[@KvDenko]

@@Maarten927 all abusive parents are the same level of vile filth- weather they label themselves religious or not.

[@auroraborealissings2084]

@@Maarten927 I'd like you to link me some news reports of satanists doing that, please. Don't make things up against people, it doesn't help anybody

[@helixmoore7636]

@@Maarten927 none of what this man did is of GOD.

[@thevampireyahweh5253]

@@Maarten927 Sounds like you don't know the first thing about Satanists. Firstly, yesterday you called "yahweh" satanic when it is the name the Hebrews used for your own God. Then you claim that Satanists sacrifice and abuse children. Do you ever say anything true, or do you literally make stuff up as it comes out of your mouth?

[@nostradamus2231]

I was so triggered by that guy saying a toddler being grumpy because of tiredness is “sin” and rebellion against God herself. I was just mortified.

[@sarahbannon8529]

I’m only 12 minutes into this video but I felt the need to pause and comment. I just want to thank God is Grey for her careful, loving, well thought out, and respectful approach to any video she makes. I personally am a former catholic, and Christianity is still something I struggle with to this day because of the abuses and issues within the Catholic Church. Christians like God is Grey gives me hope for the resurgence of loving, compassionate, and Christ-like Christians, whether I agree with all of their teachings or not. Again, thank you Brenda for your approach to Christianity and for sharing it on your platform; although I don’t know where I stand in my faith, people like you inspire me.

[@caitlinburns5227]

I know these people in real life, my brother and I used to do home school with 4 of their children along with the Tolpin's but we were never part of this group. I have met Matt and his wife and have always disagreed with their ideas. Stelle, you are one of the only children I haven't met in this family. If you see this I am so sorry you had to go through this.

[@SarahStuckstede]

I was raised in fundamentalist Christianity and homeschooled. It is one of the many reasons I am an atheist, and I am far happier outside of Christianity. Thankfully my parents were never very big on punishments. My father had a very bad temper, but was more verbally abusive than physical. I am glad to see that other christians are calling out these abusers. The physical, and psychological harm these people are doing to children in the name of their god is disgusting.

[@melanie7068]

I am so happy that you are happy now. I don’t mean this disrespectfully at all (I hope you don’t take it as such) but I pray that you can find God again, a just God a kind God. I was atheist for a short time and agnostic for a long time. I realized it wasn’t God I hated but the PEOPLE who believed in God. Even now, just reading these comments makes me want to cry. It makes me question my faith because of how BRAINWASHED people are because of their church and the other believers they surround themselves with. I choose to believe because it helps me with my fear of death and why bad things happen. But everyone is different and I just wish for your continued happiness 💜

[@eDn_7]

@@melanie7068 Religions and cults are the main reason everything is messed up in this world - mainly wars, many could have been prevented if it weren't for religious dispute about which god is better and "more real". She choose not to believe in this bs and be rational about things. I know my life got better after I stopped believing. I got over my own personal trauma induced by religion, mainly fear. There are many things very, very wrong with religions. God's will? Sin? No, you make your own fate, not an entity that doesn't exist. It's up to you what path you choose in life, so are the consequences of this choice. Demonic possession? No, mental illness, yet there are still people calling exorcists to people suffering from mental condition! Middleages at its best. Heaven, purgatory and hell? It doesn't exist, everything goes black after your brain dies, period. Child molestation and pedophilia among priests? Church protects priests, not their traumatised victims and it won't change, ever. I could go on forever.

[@SarahStuckstede]

@@melanie7068 Thanks so much. I really do appreciate the kind words. I am very happy to hear that there are christians out there that are taking a more liberal veiw of the bible. I totally understand that fear response, of not leaving religion, but I didnt leave religion because I was angry at god, or the people that worship it. I left Christianity, for two main reasons 1. I could no longer reconcile its lack of morality. E.g. For me personally I am a homosexual woman I could not worship a god that thought at any point in time that it was not only okay to stone me, and others like me, but fully sanctioned it. 2. I am a very science based, and logical person, and there are too many inconsistencies in the bible, for me to simply believe in the christian god without any good evidence. I have many more reasons, but these are my two biggest. That being said if new compelling evidences came to light in the future that the god of the bible was real. I would believe it, but I would never worship it because of reason #1. Again thank you, so much, for your kindness. You sound like a wonderful person, and I wish, for you peace, love, and happiness.💜

[@melanie7068]

huntress_143 this is the main reason I stopped being atheist because there are so many people like you who are the exact opposite of the crazy christians. I’m glad YOUR life turned out better but that isn’t the case for a lot of people, myself included.

[@melanie7068]

Sarah i completely understand that! Personally I believe that means you shouldn’t sleep with children. There are different things that back that up. When it talks about no woman should lay with another woman, I personally think a lot of that was added into the Bible. Because if God is real which I believe he is, he’s worried about a lot more serious things than whether or not someone is homosexual. I found it out of place in the Bible. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@stormthrush37]

I bet there's a lot of people that would like to give _this_ guy something to cry about.

[@Call-me-Al]

Not worth the energy. Just put him away where he can't harm any one ever again.

[@LeBatteur]

@@Call-me-Al I don’t know. I have more than enough energy.

[@girlfromsouth214]

From the American Academy of Pediatrics: "The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends healthy forms of discipline, such as positive reinforcement of appropriate behaviors, limit setting, redirecting, and setting future expectations. The AAP recommends that parents do NOT use spanking, hitting, slapping, threatening, insulting, humiliating, or shaming. Here's Why: Corporal punishment of children younger than 18 months of age increases the likelihood of physical injury. Repeated use of corporal punishment may lead to aggressive behavior and altercations between parent and child and may negatively affect the parent-child relationship. Corporal punishment is associated with increased aggression in preschool and school-aged children. Experiencing corporal punishment makes it more, not less, likely that children will be defiant and aggressive in the future. Corporal punishment is associated with an increased risk of mental health disorders and cognition problems. The risk of harsh punishment is increased when the family is experiencing stressors, such as family economic challenges, mental health problems, intimate partner violence, or substance abuse. Spanking alone is associated with adverse outcomes, and these outcomes are similar to those in children who experience physical abuse."

[@kristinmullins6896]

A shepherds rod was used to guide the sheep back in the right course, not to hit. 💔💔

[@helgmelia84]

It was also used to hit predators - larger wild animals - so they would not harm the sheep.

[@Trekkifulshay]

Shortly before I left church I was told to leave my son in his high chair until he ate his food. Take him out for diaper changes but keep putting him back. I had to show this baby who was a boss and stop being manipulated by my son. They put me in a reading room with no windows I'd never seen before when I asked for prayer for my new mom issue and instead was given To Train Up a Child to read. I'm like uh this doesn't make any sense and shortly after I stopped attending this evangelical church. Babies aren't capable of manipulation and even if they we re hitting them with paint sticks isn't the way to fix it.

[@Alex-rw9nn]

Trekkifulshay oh my gosh that is so damaging, I am so sorry that that shit even exists. I have arfid, which is grown up failure to thrive, and I remember sitting at the table for hours just waiting until they would let me get up and go.

[@MomnSajie]

“Train”. “Retrained” They say it as if children are dogs. These people are so disgusting. I’m not a theist, however I understand that these people are not the standard and should never be

[@Call-me-Al]

These people would make ludicrously incompetent and harmful dog owners. None of the methods are good for training a puppy into a healthy dog.

[@IonIsFalling7217]

I would would NEVER hurt the animals in my care either. I cry when I have to cut my rabbits’ toenails because they hate it and hate hurting them, even though sometimes doing something the beings in your care don’t like truly is necessary.

[@Trixiepop]

This brought up so many emotions in me. I used to think this was normal and good, and now I grieve for what happened to me as a child. Even typing this right now feels blasphemous, that's how deep the indoctrination goes. This can't be what love looks like, it's cruel abuse.

[@Call-me-Al]

It literally is a group of abusers using religion as an excuse to get perverted pleasure from controlling their children with violence. They are not teaching the children to follow Jesus.

[@chelseyhoover3447]

My inlaws watch my daughter twice a week, and we have very different parenting styles. My husband and I are practicing gentle and respectful parenting, and my in-laws taught Growing Kids God's Way for 10+ years. I told them explicitly that my child will never be spanked with a rod... a couple months ago my daughter threw a fit, and after she calmed down my MIL hit my 3 year old child with a rod. I have never been more angry in my life. This breaks my heart.

[@vintagearisen]

"someone would take the blame to protect the rest of us from punishment" Holy shit, I feel this. I did this. No child should struggle with the urge to take the blame for something they didn't do to protect siblings. That's survival/protective instinct right there and you should not be eliciting that kind of reaction in your own children.

[@srossi333]

I am 24, and still to this day older adults say something along the lines of, "Oh wow you're so well mannered. Your parents must have really used the whip on you." And then I tell them that my parents have never laid a finger on me in my life. They just very much modeled how to be respectful and expected nothing less. If I acted out of line, they used their words to correct. My heart breaks for anyone experiencing any type of abuse. It makes me SO ANGRY whenever people manipulate God's word to their own misguided desires. I shared my anger with a friend after watching this, and she reminded me to bring this anger to God and let him make it righteous anger into participation in his reconciling work. My mind is going to first sharing this and calling these people out, and then creating a mental health resource page on our church's website as a connection point to psychologists/therapists, which I've been meaning to do for a while, but keep on putting off. This for sure sparks me to move forward. As people who follow Jesus, we need to support these survivors in evidence-based practices. I can't even begin to imagine the amount and depth of trauma and pain these children and now adults are dealing with. Brenda, you continue to bring light to darkness. KZbin, the church, and the world needed and continues to need you. You are so eloquent and God-driven. Thank you for everything.

[@ivyrose779]

Yep. I don’t know how often I hear people say kids act “bad” now and it’s because they aren’t spanked. It’s sad.

[@josiepie8780]

Finally someone in the church with a platform is speaking on this, finally. I was not allowed to call the beating, pain, and suffering I endured for the first 18 years of my life abuse. It was in the name of God and of love. The PTSD and panic attacks that plagued me for most of my life were just the rebellious demonic spirit that had to be beat out of me. Thank you for giving us a voice, Brenda.

[@hannahmew9194]

You are so strong and brave I wish you the best in your healing process

[@kayhaven4710]

Omg same!!! I suffer from anxiety attacks all the damn time. I’m trying really hard to afford therapy this year, because I cannot keep living with these constant self-deprecating thoughts and anxiety and fear.

[@xandermin]

God bless you & your future, i wish you all the best in your healing journey 💛

[@thebabygiraffe4921]

Kay Haven does your work have an EAP? Employee Assistance Program? You can get free therapy sessions. I also know of a great therapist-who GETS IT!

[@emilyfouquettehoffman7886]

So much love and luck to you, I hope Pagan prayers given in love for you to find peace are okay, because you have so much love being sent your way!!! ♥️♥️♥️

[@krystenreid8106]

I find myself immensely grateful my parents couldn't bring themselves to go all in on this. I was raised in a fundamental household, and was switched, but I know my parents didn't like it and did not do it to my younger siblings. They did not like hurting their children, and listened to their "deceitful hearts" in spite of what their mentors were telling them. They weren't perfect, and did some harm to me via purity culture and many of the other things you see in fundamentalist households but at least they didn't do this.

[@stormthrush37]

"We don't want to die to our flesh." Isn't it your flesh that would take sadistic glee in torturing a child?

[@carmensavu5122]

Nobody ever accused beasts like that of consorting with logic.

[@zmckeown1199]

I'm not at all religious, but I am subscribed to this channel because I think you have a heart of gold and you definitely have good intentions towards stopping a toxic false Christianity as can be seen through this video. Thank you for taking so long to spread this message and get the truth out there ❤️

[@gothiccfurby]

I'm here from Fundie Fridays and I really respect the way you spoke about this issue. Bringing awareness to this form of abuse is so important. My mother read and followed To Train Up a Child. I don't speak to her anymore and neither do most of my siblings. I've been in therapy for almost 10 years and am as far away from Christianity as I can get. I hope that if none of the obvious reasons are compelling enough for Christian parents to stop buying into the Pearls' brand of subjugation, purity culture, and abuse, then the idea of losing your child as soon as they're old enough to escape will be.

[@debbydee6633]

Honestly as a bisexual believer who grew up with corporal punishment and hating church culture I've always felt isolated by the Christian community You are genuinely the only christian I look up to, and keep me in the faith You always inspire me in the way you approach religion with wisdom, respect and self awareness I honestly wish every Christian could watch your channel Thank you so much

[@magiaistnieje]

I feel physically sick listening to what she endured.. omg, you just cannot beat a child.

[@magiaistnieje]

you shouldn't beat ANYONE

[@siobhanbreithuin9728]

Also know that when you are ready there are lots of people who will support and comfort you.

[@emmelinebay3180]

So many times I’ve downplayed my upbringing as weird or quirky but hearing Stelle talk of some many things extremely similar to how I remember it, I definitly can’t excuse my parents anymore. It’s a relief to have confirmation from someone else of how dangerous this theology is

[@Ivey_reads_and_writes]

I feel the same exact way! I’ve always reflected back on my upbringing as a humorous one due to its quirks. After writing a memoir and having people respond to it, I realized how not normal and not okay my childhood was.

[@emilytaylor4272]

My dad was a preacher and raised me like this (but not my brother). I was spanked with the belt that was around my dad's waist anytime I acted "out of line" or "disrespectful". I was hit a lot because I was so outgoing, independent, and strong willed. My father always joked about how I was "hard to break". My older brother never got spanked because it "didn't work on him". I eventually learned that if I didn't react and if I numbed my emotions, I stopped getting hit. Fast forward and now I dissociate every time I have a strong emotion. I don't remember a lot of my childhood because of this. Thank you for this video, I didn't fully realize this kind of ideology was what was fueling the abuse, it makes so much sense now.

[@silviaov633]

Thank you Stelle, Brenda and every survivour sharing their stories. ❤❤❤ My father abused me physically and psychologically during my entire childhood and if I hadn't called the police on him I would have died at 14 years old. It's my 26th birthday in an hour and going to a therapist was one of my birthday goals on my last one and the thing I am most proud of doing this year. It's my first time saying this publicly under an account with my name on it, you all being so open about it has inspired me so much to be too. I cannot thank you all enough. Sending lots of love to everyone trying to survive all the surviving they had to do so early in their lifes. 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[@notthebird5246]

I am so so happy you are covering this brenda!

[@VampiraVonGhoulscout]

I've seen Rachel Oates cover these books in the past, but I had no idea I would see it happen online.

[@debbydee6633]

I love her!

[@avb.3023]

This was incredible. Corporal punishment has definitely scarred me too. Thank you for covering this topic and doing it in such a beautiful respectful and constructive way. Without shying away from the nasty reality of it all. Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

[@Hannahschannel]

I cried the entire way through this. This was my life. The physical punishment was not the worst. The mental abuse still haunts me today. I am outspoken and opinionated and was told I was rebellious and sinful. I remember striving for a “gentle and quiet” spirit. I love God and am a devout Christian but I am still healing from this abuse. It changed the course of my life and altered my thinking. My dad lived by these books and lorded all these principles over us. Wish I would have heard this at 16. It would have changed my life.

[@silviaov633]

I believe you and I'm sorry you went through that, I'm sending you lots of love ❤❤❤ I am also a survivour, you are so right, the psycological trauma lasts more than the physical one. Hope you are safe and things get better soon 💕💕💕

[@kbutcher]

She put it so well, being a child who would get sick to their stomach knowing something would happen. There is no better way to describe it.

[@liminalpages7196]

I didn't expect to need this conversation right now. I felt detached from my past experiences and I'm not sure how to proceed now that they're reconnected, especially since I feel you, Brenda, about protecting your father. But also about protecting your siblings.

[@annking8]

The phase, "we need to talk," still makes me immediately go through a self-destructive circle of thoughts of, "what did I do wrong now?". My parents didn't get into these teachings until we were too old for spanking, but I still had many personal boundaries violated to the point that I always assumed something was my fault, and didn't know how to place good boundaries.