WE WEREN'T PREPARED for GERMAN KITA to be like this.

Now that we've been fully immersed in German Kita for the past 3 months, we look back on the up's, the down's and the challenges that have come with enrolling a toddler in the German daycare system
From the culture shocks of figuring out German child development pedagogy to the challenges of trying to be a "full-time" working parent - we have had to do a lot of adapting as an immigrant family. Does the German Kita do it better than the American daycare system? Let us know your thoughts below in the comments.
For more information on living abroad, you can read more on our blog:
www.blackforestfamily.com/par...
How to Score a Spot at A German Kita:
www.blackforestfamily.com/how...
GEAR IN THIS VIDEO:
Stroller: tinyurl.com/tkc5xcpw
Highchair: amzn.to/3qcIUkB
Camera: tinyurl.com/22a5wbe7
Microphone: tinyurl.com/rufut97v
Lens: tinyurl.com/z3k73bv6
Bendy Tripod Thing: tinyurl.com/d4w687pk
Memory Card: tinyurl.com/zy7j54ac
External Hard Drive: tinyurl.com/nmters57
External Hard Drive Backup: tinyurl.com/vduwnaea
Music in Episode: tinyurl.com/BLACKFORESTFAMILY
Try Lingoda with an exclusive discount of up to 40% off with our link:
try.lingoda.com/Dec_BlackFore...
#lingoda202112
DISCLOSURE: The links above may contain affiliate links. This means that, at no cost to you, the Black Forest Family may earn a commission if you click through to make a purchase.
👉Quick Jump to Your Favorite Topic:
00:00 Intro
01:46 The Plague Upon our Family
04:34 How Jack has Transitioned to German Kita
07:00 Learning to Speak German?
08:19 USA vs. Germany: Differences in How Children Eat
10:42 Bio- Organic Food Options & Approaching Food Allergies
11:43 Children are Encouraged to Help with Food Preparation
12:40 Embracing Nature & City Excursions with Toddlers
13:44 Winter Weather Gear for German Kita
14:59 Our Biggest Struggle: "Full-Time" Day Care as a American Parents Abroad
19:01 Would we do it all over again?
19:41 Final Questions to You
20:12 Jack's Final Thought
Episode 32 | #lifeingermany and #kidsabroad Freiburg im Breisgau, Germany | Filmed December 19, 2021
📸 Follow us on Instagram for behind the scenes content: @blackforestfam / ​
✈️ We created our blog to help you learn more about living, studying, working, and traveling abroad! For more information about the content in this video visit ➡️ www.blackforestfamily.com/​ ⬅️
📧 Sign up for our Black Forest Family Newsletter email here - www.blackforestfamily.com/fol...
------------------
💳 Here’s our FREE guide to the best southern Black Forest Germany Day Trips: www.blackforestfamily.com/the...
🛵 Our 101 TOP TRAVEL TIPS:
www.blackforestfamily.com/wp-...
------------------
SUPPORT OUR WORK: www.blackforestfamily.com/fol...
FAMILY TRAVEL GEAR: www.blackforestfamily.com/shop/
FACEBOOK: / ​
------------------
Originally from the Midwest of the USA, we moved to the #blackforest in 2013 and quickly embraced #expatlife. As American expats living in #Germany, things weren't always easy, but we've grown to love our life in Germany. We started this #travelvlog​ to share our experiences with friends and family, and to help those who are interested in moving overseas! Whether you are interested in moving abroad, working abroad, studying abroad, raising a family abroad, or just want to #traveleurope, we're here to give you a first person look at what lies ahead. 😊🎥🌎

[@TheDoctorIWho]

There is a solution: pick a good Kita, bring him early and take him when your work is finished. He will have a great time at the Kita.... oh wait: you already did. So you are a good mom and do it the right way. Welcome to Germany and keep going!

[@TypeAshton]

Thank you so much. ❤️❤️ I really appreciate this comment.

[@michaelhaas4431]

We do it the same way. Our kids are having a good time. We try not to kept them at Kita longer than let’s say 9 hours but sometimes we simply can’t avoid it. We don’t have the feeling that anyone thinks bad of us because of it or that our kids would like to be picked up earlier. On the contrary, sometimes they were angry at us that we pick them up already (we have a 5yr old and an almost 6yr old kid in Kita and one kid is in school already. They all loved it and we sometimes had to fight to take them away from their toys and friends).

[@LJMahomes]

@@michaelhaas4431 That’s also my experience. My little brother is in second grade and he always wants to stay with this day care kind of place after school to play with the other kids. I think the home work time starts at 2pm so that’s when we pick my brother up make food and then he can do his homework at home. There are sometimes cases when we have to pick him up right after school and he always gets annoyed by that lol

[@jassiwolfi6168]

It's not an easy solution though. Unfortunately we don't have enough pedagogical stuff to provide enough places for children to go. I worked in a kindergarden in Germany too and I'm currently in the final year of apprenticeship. Since we don't have enough stuff and places parents don't really have a choice for an option but are often left with what's left over. So commonly you aren't really able to pick a "good kita" since everyone is trying to get a place for their child!

[@lbb101]

@@frederike9371 in the realm of language yes. Kids assign languages to people, situation and places. They naturally learn two languages that way - because it's not school learning. They show an advantage at learning additional languages later. Catch-22: It must be super strict. A friends kid speaks four languages at an age appropriate level at age 4 - one mom, one dad, one family-together, one kindergarten. However, if the situations get mixed up, if one parent switches, the kids get confused and it won't work and in worst case can backfire to the level where no language is spoken at age appropriate level.

[@klotz__]

You should call it a "group" rather than a "class". That's how we do it in German because Kita and school are totally different things.

[@TypeAshton]

Yes we have been told that before. It's a habit from how we spoke about day cares in the United States.

[@EvaMurray]

@@TypeAshton really interesting comment. Same choice of words in New Zealand. From my own experience and observations, German childcare places (prior to school) do not focus obsessively on 'teaching'. It's more supervising children that are taught to be, play and act as independent human beings. I've always been a bit baffled by the very early focus on teaching that I was exposed to in anglo-saxon countries. I'm no researcher, though, so I don't know it it's a thing or just happens to be based on the people I spoke to

[@EvaMurray]

@@ompletoe i definitely agree that children are taught all the time but I do think the very early focus on school type teaching to give them 'a head start' takes away from natural play and from being carefree

[@lauren8627]

@@EvaMurray And the best part of children in early years care (0-5) is that the way you 'teach' them to play is to back off 😂. In Australia ELC (early learning centres) are taking off and there is extensive research about how early 'schooling' actually increases anxiety and reduces test scores later on. Early is not better. But also focussing on test scores to start with is kind of the centre of the problem.

[@EvaMurray]

@@lauren8627 I can imagine! My parents were always there for us but we never involved them in our playtime. I don't understand why so many children I meet today are so obsessed with playing with adults. Maybe things are changing and I'm not keeping up with the times, but we were always pleased to be without adults and to play with our peers

[@thomaskrehahn8765]

Don't be worried to pick up your son late at 5pm. Our daughter was always some of the last kids to be picked up, but she had a lot of fun also with the Kita teachers. When she was older, 3 to 6 years old, she was helping to clean up the kitchen and the play rooms and also had fun doing this together with the teachers or even the cleaning lady. Everything is fine as long as the kids are happy.

[@TypeAshton]

Thanks for the kind comment. We have also heard some of the last kids can also get some speech therapy. So, maybe Jack can get some additional German speaking lessons since we only speak English with him at home.

[@jackepik2835]

@@TypeAshton Yes, I would recommend this as well. You can talk to Jack's educator about this, explain your situation and they can refer you to speech therapy. Usually a lot of bigger Kita's here have assigned speech therapy staff coming in house each week, especially if they have a lot of children that don't speak german at home. German kita is all about working together with the parents for the kids. We are always open for talking and working together for your childs future!

[@Melisendre]

I've been working as an Erzieherin for over 20 years mostly with the little ones. In my experience it's no problem for children to stay at Kita the whole day. The qualitiy of time you spend with your child is much more important than the quantity. I stayed at home with my children because I really enjoyed the time with them. But it was my own decision and I think everyone has find his own way raising up children. A happy working parent is better for a child as an unsatisfied staying home parent.

[@TypeAshton]

"The quality of time you spend with your child is much more important than the quantity." I really like this comment and agree this should be the bigger focus of the conversation. Thank you!

[@mrsmopsi9333]

I agree, i work parttime but keep our kids in KiTa fulltime so i can get everything done before i pick them up and be able to have 'fun time' with them without having to concentrate on chores or cooking as that is already all done.

[@wernholttempelhoff9301]

Why worry about what the ideal mum should be like and then feel bad about not living up to your own standards? Jack was in a really good mood and totally happy as he crawled up to you for pickup. Congratulations, you did everything right!

[@joyridner9808]

The kindergarten in BW was terrible for my kid as an Ausländer Family, the way we are called in Germany!!! They did not take care of my 3 year old at all, did not help him get dressed, saying that at 3 years of age a child should do this alone!!!!! and even allowed my child go undressed outside in winter!!! My boy was constantly sick in all German Kindergarten, only because nobody helped him with getting dressed, changing clothes, eating, he had no friends!!!!!!! only after a year he made friends with other foreigner but never with Germans , who rejected him!!!!! So, in this case it was a lot better to simply stay at home with him than in a German Kindergarten, where he cried a lot, was unhappy!!!

[@kekks1988]

Oo

[@promeetnag]

You are not being a bad mum, you just live in a part of Germany that is very very conservative and that mothers take their kids to day-care instead of looking after them personally is a major shift away from the traditional conservative norms in Baden-Württemberg. There is a huge demand for full day care in every large city. When our kids were small they had to be picked up latest by 1 p.m. so that made it impossible for mothers to work. Go with what you need to do, that's what the KITA is there for. Good luck!

[@TypeAshton]

Thank you for the kind comment and the support! We hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

[@0myuname0]

That is totally right. My mom is a Kindergärtnerin herself and raised 4 Kids and she always complains about how the younger mom “dare” to leave their children in the Kita the whole day. And I always try to convince her that this should be the normal case in a world where parents are equally paying attention to their job and so on. My mom is 60 and she always forgets that she raised us in a three generation family where my grandmother helped us. So what you are dealing with are old conservative and yesterday’s perspective of (western) german society 😉 In former eastern germany it was normal to bring kids from 8 to 18:00 into kita. So don’t feel bad but as a pioneer freeing the paths in the wild that others may follow you 🙏😁

[@nici5451]

It makes me as a stay at home mom really sad when someone calls me conservative. I'm not conservative. I only love being with my children and it is financially ok for us. I have studied law and many people asked why I do not go to work. It's a big pressure for me. I never ask working moms why they don't stay at home... It's everybody's decision and both is good, every family should decide what's best for them. And if mom or dad thinks she/he wants to stay at home it should also be respected as when both parents go to work. That has nothing to do with being conservative!

[@NotUnymous]

Sry, but thats not conservative. On the contrary. Modern is, that both parents or If only one then Mom OR Dad are working half-time during the first periods of childhood.

[@0myuname0]

Oh, I see that I need to take back the word “conservative”. It seems that it has different meanings compared to the german “konservativ”. Sorry for that. Did not want to offend anybody. Every parent should stay at home If she/he/div wants to do so.

[@georgvonrechenberg2217]

For the full-time issue: Southern Germany is known to be quite conservative and thus has less women working full-time. Hence the old family model of women staying home as housewifes or only working half-time is still quite common. This is more or less true for Germany in general but especially for western Germany and for rural areas. In eastern Germany the system of GDR made women working full-time and children going to kita from 1 year on the norm. In Rostock, where I live with my family, you probably would have a different experience.

[@TypeAshton]

Very interesting, we had no idea this issue was so prevalent in our state. Thank you for helping explain the differences.

[@pinkvogon9639]

@@nzg24 Das ist kein Unsinn. I myself grew up in the former eastern (Thuringia) and western part (Hessia) of Germany. My mom even had to stay home and quit working when we moved to Hessen in the 90s, because the Kindergarten only opened from 8 to 12. I totally agree with the original comment. Still now living in (northern) Bavaria there is a much harsher judgement than in Thuringia.

[@athena13005]

That has lead to some quarrels within our KiGa system. We have an east German parent that is furious that in rural NS there are few options. As an academic, she has to commute an hour, and her hubby is a shepherd, which entails crazy, unpredictable and adamant hours. The other western moms say b****y things about her, because she expects more support from the community in terms of childcare options. "She shouldn't have kids, if she isn't willing to take care of them" and stuff like that. I can't imagine how lonely it is, to be criticized like that.

[@Haselmaus1503]

@Ann_the Snowowl I am living in Bavaria as well and I have to say most of my female friends started to go back to work during Elternzeit after 10 months or so. I think this "old" way is changing because a) women like to work and b) rents in bigger cities (especially in Bavaria) are so high, that both have to work.

[@frederiken6804]

I agree with OP, I raised my oldest daughter close to Stuttgart, where we had to pick her up after 4 hours in her first year. I now live close to Rostock (hi there 😊), where basically all kitas are Open 10hours straight! 😳 I find That too Long, as welk, but it shows the difference between the states. Thats förderalismus for you…

[@ThePixel1983]

As a German immigrant in France I like you calling yourself immigrants and not "expats".

[@Arltratlo]

only Brits are to called expats, because they are way to special to be like immigrants from other countries..!

[@noabakker3848]

Yes totaly agree , welcome to the eu , immigrant is not a dirty word here.

[@larabenther2629]

we aren’t immigrants if we go to America or Australia mostly German descent there and there

[@sdsugermany]

They call themselves expats *3x* in their About as well in multiple other videos. 😞

[@sisuguillam5109]

@@larabenther2629 erm... still immigrants.

[@jacquelinegoede3373]

Don’t feel bad about opting for the full-day options in KiTas. I was a full day KiTa kid and absolutely loved it. My parents both had to work full time when I was five. They made sure to spend every minute of the weekend with us. Also, as a nanny to two KiTa kids I can tell you: you’ll only get really ill on a regular basis for about a year or so, then you’ll have had it all ;) the child may catch everything that’s floating around the daycare group but I swear my immune system was on full blast later on and I was never sick again.

[@TypeAshton]

We just need to make it through! We hope you have a Happy New Year!

[@user-jd1cp1nk1p]

👍 It's her choice. Imo blaming moms for not staying at home is very old-fashioned and it's mom-shaming. Cause no one ever blames the dads for not staying at home. Many children actually enjoy spending time with other kids. She's really not being a bad mom.

[@littlescully3637]

I mean, baby and mom are home, meeting maybe a few people... Not like 100ys ago, where more people where involved in raising a child... It is absolutely normal and no wondering, that a kid with 1 or 3, starting in a Kiga brings virus home - his immune system has never meet any of those (or even the immune system of the parents) On average, the first year, your child is sick every month - your not alone 😉

[@lozloz7418]

@@TypeAshton do you and your husband speak German to each when your talking to other German people

[@JassBo83]

I was constantly sick as a little kid and I was in daycare. It depends on the child and how well their immune system builds. Once I started school it got better and I was only sick about twice per year.

[@uncinarynin]

The upcoming weeks and months will be very interesting when Jack grows up truly bilingual and he'll be speaking two languages in no time ... learning much faster than one could at any other age. Two languages, that's a welcome mental challenge and actually helps with his development!

[@TypeAshton]

Yes, we can't wait to see him growing up speaking two languages. This is why we are pushing so hard again to improve our German.

[@simonl.6338]

@@TypeAshton Iam sure he'll be able to help you out then

[@silmuffin86]

So true! my son went to a kita from 12mo for about a year before we moved away from Germany. Now, 6 months later, he sometimes still randomly comes up with a German word :D My 6 and a half yo went to kindergarten for 3 years before moving and she became fluent so quickly. I wish I had their brain :D

[@raidri_conchobair]

What I love is when Kitas have a city tour and they see a police car approaching the little kids wave at the police and the police waves back. It's very cute and very educational as well.

[@TypeAshton]

That's really cute! A great way to start a positive interaction with the law enforcement.

[@fionafiona1146]

We also had volunteer firefighters step by and practiced safe use of candles at daycare, it's a valuable experience

[@silviap4478]

My mom works in a kindergarten. Believe me, as long as you drop him off at the right time and pick him up at the agreed time, you are doing great. Over the years she had a lot of parents not picking their kids up until 6 or forgetting that they weren't supposed to go to a friend's that day. You drop him off on time, you pick him up on time, you make sure to have enough diapers and get whatever they request of you and you no one will think of you as a bad mom.

[@frankwoltje1787]

What you have experienced is the reason why many in Germany call the KITAs also Killerviren-Zuchtstation (killer virus breeding station). This is an experience that pretty much every family has, and I think that in almost all cases it is important for children to build a solid immune system.

[@robertmuller1523]

Never heard "Killervirenzuchtstation" before. Must be some kind of regional thing. From my own experience, I cannot confirm that the entire family is constantly ill during the first year of kindergarten. Of course, banal infections occur more frequently, but by no means all the time. I think that's more of a subjective feeling because it poses significant challenges for working parents.

[@joschafinger126]

I love that word. A German expat in Spain, that kind of lexical creativity has kind of passed me by for a while, and I miss it. It's so, so apt.

[@marc6605]

A good chair for us was a Tripp Trapp Chair from Stokke. These Chairs grows with you and both of my boys (10 and 6) use them all the time.

[@maxim1337272]

We also got 2 Tripp Trapps already because my wife had one until she was 10 years old (which is now used for our children whenn we visit the grand parents)

[@HuSanNiang]

Most of my friends had them . They are really good.

[@anaka5292]

all of our 4 children sit on tripptrapp chairs. Our oldest is now 18 years old and is still sitting on my tripptrapp from 40 years ago. They are simply indestructible and grow with you.

[@fireskorpion396]

I am 18 and only stored away my Tripp Trapp maybe a year or two ago, because I was using it as a desk chair in my room :D Edit: grammar

[@brigittelacour5055]

I'm childminder or Tagesmutter ( assistante maternelle agréée en France) I have 2 Tripp Trapp, one with the baby set, one for toddler. I use the "toddler" one myself ! I'm quite small and ordinary chair aren't practical for me (my feet don't touch the soil when I'm sitting) problem solved with the Tripp Trapp ! :D

[@annenintemann4896]

When my son was in Kita he was one of the first kids to come and one of the last to leave. He loved the last hour in kita because in this time of the day there were only few kids and they read books on a sofa. He sometimes didn‘t want to go home before the story ended.

[@TypeAshton]

I do feel bad when he is the last one there. But the other day his caretaker said that he was having fun climbing all over her, reading books together, and playing with trains - just the two of them. So I know he also enjoyed the special one-on-one time.

[@flowerpower7077]

At first I thought, 'what a long day for such a little guy' but if he can have a quiet time being read books snuggled up on the sofa that sounds like a good compromise. I'm a 67-year-old Grandma of 2 and in the lucky position of living in the same town as my son and his family. My husband and myself collect our grandson from kita when his mum, who works shifts, can't pick him up. We look after our granddaughter once or twice a week until she starts kita in the Summer. We love the time we've been 'gifted' with them and being able to watch them grow. It must be difficult for you not to have the family support many others have so don't feel guilty about how you manage things. Just enjoy all the cuddle time you can, concentrate on your studies and let the housework slip.

[@BlazingDrag00n]

@@TypeAshton Exactly. If the kid is happy, then everyone is doing everything right. Kids are the most honest and straight forward kind of people. If they hate something, they let you know. And in turn, if they smile or laugh, you can be sure it is real. ... So is jack the last one to be picked up? who cares? .... is he a happy kid to be picked up? awesome, everything is fine.

[@susangutperl4937]

The time thing is primarily a West German thing I think. Most Kitas is East Germany open earlier than 8 o’clock and run later. Much more full time working women here and much better daycare infrastructure. I have friends in Baden-Würtemberg who only had daycare from 8 to 2 which does not make any sense at all to me.

[@danielmuller2701]

A friend of mine has her two kids in KiTa - one is 3, the other is about 10 months. Both kids go from 7 to 15 o'clock, sometimes even 7 to 17 o'clock. It's a half-private, somewhat more costly KiTa, but they wanted the flexibility. Thankfully they live close to a big city where they were able to buy into a company KiTa (it's corporate organized with a few optional placements for non company kids buy-ins).

[@KB-vs7ek]

Most KiTas in West German have open from 7 a.m. to 4 or 5 p.m.

[@ritasallai152]

Not german, but hungarian: We have bölcsöde ( from the hungarian word meaning cradle) instead of KITA. The bölcsöde is open from 8 ( sometimes even sooner ) and stays open till around 5 o'clock ( but most chipdren are gone by 4. It accepts ages as young as 9 month olds, but usually childen start going at 1 or even at 2 years old. The system is based on districts depending on where you live ( which streets, and house number)but they can be flexible and take in childen if the parents work close by.

[@susangutperl4937]

@@KB-vs7ek I think it might still heavily depend on where in Western Germany we‘re talking. Most of my friends are in Bavaria and B-W and there short opening hours and „Vormittags“ and „Nachmittagsbetreuung“ seem still to be a thing. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Might be different in NRW and in the bigger cities in general. Public Kitas here run from 6 in the morning to 5:30 pm!

[@Sopran04]

Susan, I was looking for a house to buy a few years ago. I found a house, right next door to a kindergarten. Since I was already there I dropped into the kindergarten (pre-Corona) and asked about the facility. They said they run from 7:30 to 12…… 🤭🤷🏼‍♀️ I didn’t even care to look into the house any closer. It didn’t make any sense.

[@gentz8310]

I have three kids: One funny point at Kitas: they know everything what's going on at your home. " Oh, you bought a new sofa?" or " oh your TV broke" etc etc literally no secrets 😂 . But it's the most fun time, you will hear the best questions ever from kids 3-5y. Enjoy and Willkommen

[@kleinweichkleinweich]

"Eingewöhnung" is one of the best things ever invented back in the bad old days children were just droped at the Kita, Mom started to cry and went away add a childs knowledge of "Hänsel und Gretel" to that and you can imagine the horror

[@TypeAshton]

We were pretty lucky that Jack's Eingewöhnung went really smoothly. From day 1, he was like "Okay Mom, BYE I have exploring to do". 🤣🤣

[@BlauerBooo]

Haha 😄 i heard so much about this thing from colleagues at work having small children. I myself first went to Kindergarten in the early 1990s, aged 4. No Kita before. So i asked my parents about issues with illnesses or Eingewöhnung... they could not tell me. Seemingly no dramatic Virus storms and also no special programme or habit to help little ones integrate. Usually i Was happy to be at Kindergarten, sometimes i did not want to part. BUT: Kindergarten Times were from 8 to 2 o'clock! Only the neighbouring Group Was kept together until 4 pm. And they had to have a midday nap. I despised it when I once had to take Part 😄 so: even if the daycare times are still stupid and don't allow a full day at work for the parents, they have massively been expanded in Germany for the last 25 years. As well as the under 3 years daycare places. Besides: not only the Kita system should adapt to needs of Jobs. Also the employment System has to adapt to family requirements and leisure Times 😉 only THEN we have a System bringing Job and free time in a better balance

[@k.schmidt2740]

I did my "Magister" at a German university and had a child in Kindergarten at the same time. My suggestion: Shift your day completely. While I was writing my "Magisterarbeit" in philosophy, I went to bed at the latest at 10 pm. Then I got up at 5:00 to do my reading until 7:30. If the child got up before 7:30, my husband took care of him. Then I got myself and our son ready to go and brought him to the Kita (literally next door) at 8:30. During the day, I could check in at the university, go to the library, write sections or type (This was in the early 90s), depending on what was necessary, and then pick the child up around 14:00 Uhr (There was no "Spätdienst" then). This took me about two years, and I finished the Magister with excellent marks. It is doable, but you have to change something somewhere drastically, or it doesn't work. Something has to go - and that is the late evenings during work weeks.

[@TypeAshton]

This is kind of what we are doing now as well. We take German classes at 5 or 6am and then end up working evenings and weekends when Jack is sleeping. It's doable but can be very draining. That's life. :)

[@petermayer9292]

This is how to do it. It was always and is still possible to have young children and work or study full time. It is stressful, but hey you decided to become parents. I never liked it when peoole droped their Babys (less then 12 months old) at the Krippe. But i am from a catholic small Bavarian village.

[@klaushohmann1101]

Ihr seid tolle Eltern mit einem glücklichen Sohn.Frohe Weihnachten

[@TypeAshton]

Vielen Dank! Frohe Weihnachten!

[@ingeborggroth1415]

It's absolutely normal being constantly sick for the first year of Kita, not only the kid but the whole family. After that, it gets better :) As many others have already said, this year of immunization is beneficial. My Kinderarzt said, when I complained back then: "13 colds per year during Kindergarten are perfectly normal." Kita opening hours: How about asking neighbors/friends to do the pick-up during peek times? That's what I did, and it helped a lot. The bad-mum thing only exists in our heads. Don't worry and don't compare yourself to other parents. Don't. :D You are fine, you are doing as best as you can and that's enough. - My children are 20 and 22 now and whenever the bad-mum subject comes up, they roll their eyes, laugh at me and tell me to shut up. Bingo :)

[@TypeAshton]

Yeah that is a great idea. Initially the plan was to team up with a colleague of mine who also was placing her little one in the same Kita. We would take turns doing pick ups so we could both have and extra hour to work on our research. But unfortunately, her little one was placed into the half day group and mine into the full day group so it didnt work out. I would love to try to get into a good, trustworthy group of friends in our new city. We move next summer to another town in the Black Forest and he will be starting in a new Kita next fall.

[@EvilGNU]

I am a pretty robust guy in my mid-late 30s, switched from my boring old job to become an Erzieher in Bayern about four years ago. When I went to training it was mandatory to switch houses once a year during my three year job training (Optiprax). Every time I was thrown in a new petri dish. The first house knocked me out almost six weeks with pneumonia after my first month there. Then it got gradually better with each house I worked in. At my current place which is basically my fourth I only had the sniffles for a few days and my immune system seems more solid than ever before. But man, for a guy that has never called in sick for longer than 1 or 2 days in his entire life befire, these first few years were extremely challenging. But well, adapt and overcome... Still the best and most rewarding job I ever had, despite all the challenges the global situation has thrown upon us. Stay safe out there.

[@cyberslim7955]

@@TypeAshton Hire an au-pair, now that you have a nice big house.

[@wora1111]

@@TypeAshton Often neighborhoods like the one you moved into will be like minded people, often similar ages and often with kids in the same age group. Makes for great friends (kids and adults). My daughters still invite people from her kindergarten group (>20 years ago) to her birthdays. And we invite the parents ...

[@twinmama42]

As long as Jack is happy when in daycare, everything is alright. Don't feel guilty for bringing him early and picking him up late. To know him being happy in the KiTa is much better than having him around and your thoughts are not with him but with your work or you working and feeling guilty not playing with him though he is around and awake. The sicknesses and viruses are a plague, but they help to develop the immune system and it will become better, promised. My kids, we parents, and my in-laws were sick (more or less) for the first 18 months, culminating in two severe bacterial infections (tonsillitis) right before Christmas and right after Epiphany with me being really sick for the first time in 15 years over the holidays. The rest of the time in Kindergarten and school they were okay for the most time. When my kids (twin boys) went to Kindergarten (starting at the age of 3), one was really happy, the other hated it. So, we used our family vacation to get the situation relaxed, and my in-laws organized two slots in another Kindergarten. The boys started the new Kindergarten and were so excited, they didn't want to go home anymore. We had the half-day arrangement (6 hours) and started with 8-12 for the first year, with at least 1 hour outside every day. Starting with the second year we brought them back for additional 2 hours between 2-4, except for the winter and really bad rainfall, most of the time they stayed outside for the whole afternoon, playing in the sandbox, riding "bikes", trikes and bobby cars, climbing trees or playing ball. In the afternoons there were older kids (elementary school) around, too, who would (after finishing their homework) come to the playground, too. I think it's very beneficial for groups having children of a wider range in age, the way it was in the big families of the past. The little ones imitate the big ones and the big ones (having more privileges and responsibilities) develop a feeling of pride and accomplishment. And some show a talent for supporting and guiding the little ones. Anyway, they grow as persons.

[@TypeAshton]

We agree with you completely and it's great to point out that he's better off in Kita playing/learning than at home with us while we are trying to work. As for the illnesses, it looks like we have a long way to go! We hope you have a great holiday season and a Happy New Year!

[@Julia-lk8jn]

Word. That was my first thought, too. The Kita offers those times, you are paying for it, if anybody thought it was a mortal sin to drop of your kid at eight they wouldn't offer the option. Or they'd put a limit on how many hours a child is allowed to be there. After all, from a local point of view: the better you & your child speak German, the easier a time he'll have to absorb the culture, deal with school and homework and the likes. So yes, the more exposure to German language the better.

[@littlescully3637]

Both children started with 1 in the kiga... Eath off them, needed 2 days to get into the system. Ever since, in the morning my son RUNS into the kindergarden... If it's a good day, I get a kiss or a waving. I was wondering, cause other parents had crying children... Then they told me - it's the best, possible. The child has an intimate connection with the parents, he feels same. He knows, I care. And he feels safe, to meet other people, to learn something new - because he has a safe home / or harbor (in German). It took me 2 children and quite a long time, to understand and realize, that he is fine in kindergarden. And that is okay with ME, too.

[@m.h.6470]

You also have to keep in mind, that the more he is exposed to virus and illnesses of other kids, the more his immune system learns and strengthens. It might not be nice for you (or him), but it will be better for him in the long run. There are a lot of studies, that show, that sheltered ("clean") kids tend to get allergies and/or have weaker immune system...

[@fireskorpion396]

True, that's why kids that grow up on farms have really strong and healthy immune systems

[@leDespicable]

I sometimes wonder whether excessive hand washing may play a role in a weaker immune system as well, because I was one of those kids that definitely didn't wash their hands as often as their parents and other people wanted them to...but I never got - and to this day - don't get sick much. The last time I had a cold was around 3 years ago, and I can't even remember the last time I had a serious case of the flu. Could also just be that I got lucky with the gene lottery and just have a strong immune system, but who knows...

[@TypeAshton]

This is certainly a benefit of having a child in Kita. Building a solid immune system. Unfortunately in our case, the parents need to also catch back up. :)

[@SoneaT]

@@TypeAshton please don't forget the pandemic was not good to your parents immunsystem the last year! With all the social distancing, masks and desinfaction of hands, we tend to get more illnesses now. My Kids both in Grundschule brought us in September... Erkältung, Durchfall und Bronchitis. It felt like all at once. 🤣 And every time we feared it is c.... But they aren't kids who are often ill.

[@Julia-lk8jn]

@@leDespicable Now I'm wondering what "excessive" hand washing is. I know I grew up with washing your hands when you came home, before & after a meal was normal: because during eating you'll probably touch your food or mouth at some point, and then whatever is on your hands gets to your mucous membranes, AKA red carpet for germs. But I doubt that hand washing is enough to keep all, or even most germs away. If you compare the flu / cold numbers in the 2020 - 2022 winters with the winters before that, you can see how the numbers drop when people are wearing masks in public spaces. Meaning: we get plenty of germs via aerosol / droplet infection. And even before that, courtesy masks in huge Asian cities worked on the same principle.

[@uewofrey]

For some reason I was offered this video on my youtube menu and OF COURSE I clicked on it... And then, when you introduced yourself (yourselves) as 'The Blackforest Family' it just gave me such a nostalgia-kick, I just started cry-giggling for some time! I think I subbed to the 'Blackforest Family' when there where just under 50k subscribers and I have fond memories there! Don't get me wrong; I like your new branding and I think you dig DEEP into topics like few people could compete with..., don't let anyone stop you; watching your videos always teaches me a lot -- I've even learned new things about my own country! KEEP IT UP!!!

[@marwerno]

The sick part: Yes, but not as bad as you describe. Getting out in cold weather: YES, when there is snow, parents are asked to bring sleds and they went to a hill nearby. The best (from my sons perspective) was: They taught the kids how to plant potatoes. When time came to dig them up, the elderly kindergarten teacher (female) got the tractor from her husband and actually drove the old tractor and dug them up with the tractor. The kids were talking about this for a long time 🙂 They also made their own apple juice from apples they picked up on an excursion with an old manual press. And no, it is NOT a Waldkindergarten!

[@Shylee]

I was enrolled in my Kita full time but my mom usually also came earlier to pick me up but quite often I asked to stay longer so she picked me up at the end because I liked the time that was quieter and the Kita basically became a huge playground just for me and my friends:)

[@SummerJune25]

I feel like a lot of times after being at day care for a year, the kids don´t catch as many colds as in the beginning. Some kids though have a weak immun system and they keep on collecting each and every cold, flu or stomach bug they can get. About droping your son of or to pick him up, it really depends on the Kita and it changes every year in my experience. I used to work at places where the kids would start coming shortly after seven and around 5 there was almost like a rush hour of parents picking up the kids. Some older kids talked to their parents and asked them to stay longer at daycare because they wanted more time to play with their friends. The next year we had a group of kids that really struggled to stay too long and the parents came as early as possible to pick them up. Feeling guilty must be hard but as long as Jack is happy at daycare and you get as much work done as possible - which allows you to concentrate on him once you pick him up - is just how it should be. It seems like you have great Erzieher/innen at his daycare and they will let you know when or if he struggles.

[@TypeAshton]

It makes us glad to see how happy he is when he arrives and still happy when we pick him up. It makes us confident he is truly enjoying his time there. :)

[@claudiadunbar3065]

Ich erinnere mich noch gut, als mein Sohn in die Kita kam. Er war 8 Monate alt und das erste Jahr immer krank. Auf jedem Foto hatte er "a runny nose". Sogar seine Nana wurde jedesmal, wenn sie ihn abgeholt hat, krank. Aber nach einem Jahr war alles vorbei. Bis heute (er ist 30 Jahre, hehe) ist er ein gesunder Mensch, der selten krank wird. Auch mein Sohn hat nur von seiner Kita profitiert. Er war wesentlich weiter in allem, als das Kind einer Bekannten, die ihr Kind nicht in die Kita brachte und zu Hause ließ. Ich hatte das Glück, dass meine Kita eine Betriebskita war und somit längere Öffnungszeiten hatte (Krankenhaus). Wenn ich euren Sohn in den Video`s sehe, weiß ich, dass es ihm gut geht. Macht euch keine Sorgen, er lernt mehr mit anderen Kindern als alleine zu Hause mit euch. Und in einem Jahr wird es euch viel besser gehen, was Krankheiten betrifft :-)

[@TypeAshton]

Danke für deinen netten Kommentar! Es freut uns sehr zu sehen, wie glücklich Jack in der Kita ist. Wir sind uns einig, dass seine Zeit dort sehr wertvoll für seine Entwicklung ist.

[@ahrimusifosil9207]

back in Kindergarden i called my childs "Seuchenschleudern", "Madenprinzessin/Läusefürstin" or "Pestverbreiter". :D

[@TypeAshton]

Hahaha that is funny!

[@BjoernVT]

In the past when Germany still had a mandatory military service, there was the option to instead to social service. I was "deployed" to nurse for a wonderful disabled girl, incuding therapy, doctors visits and of course kita. Since we had one extra teacher for the two disabled kids, I ended up supporting the group work and I can totally relate to your descriptions (mind you, my time was when I was 19, so like ~10 years *cough 28 cough* ago). I totally agree that both the younger and older kids both develope a lot of social skills by learning together. Also cooking, playing, wokring and cleaning up together makes all these things a natural thing and I think it helps to become much less egoistic than reducing kita to be a pure care institution. Regarding your doubts about yourself as parents ... DON'T! ... you do an amazing job, being a PhD and Full Time worker and your boy definetly is doing great! Keep it up! Regarding the logistics, from my personal experience, most American companies in Germany adapted very well to the needs of their employees and help where ever it is possible to accomodate to childcare needs. Maybe it is possible to schedule the pickup before the meeting and have that from a workplace at home (it became so much more common since Covid anyhow)? Do not feel afraid or reluctent to approach your bosses. You are willing to inest so much into your jobs and enducation, I am sure they are gladly supporting your efforts! (they definetly should anyhow). YOu are not really asking for others covering your wokr hours, mind that, you are adjusting breaks and suggest flexibility that you already are giving, too.

[@missis_jo1017]

I agree, even if her husband „just“ picks Jack up, brings him home and immediately goes back to work. That in itself is already such a big help and can really boost productivity! I speak from experience having four children myself and being through quite a lot of different work/Studium/Ausbildung-constellations 😅. The times my husband was responsible for picking up the children were by far the most relaxed ones for me, although that was also the time we both worked full time.

[@TypeAshton]

Great suggestions! We will look a little further into logistics and try to balance all of our lives a bit better as we adapt. Jonathan's job is very relaxed and allows flexible working hours, so this shouldn't be much of a problem.

[@verttikoo2052]

Don’t feel bad. Kindergarten exists so that you can finish your studies and do your work. Besides Jack is having lots of fun with his new friends. Social skills 👍

[@mariposadelamusica1283]

Kita opening hours in Germany vary a lot from Region to Region. Our Kita opens from 6 to 17:30 (Not now due to Corona, but normally)

[@TypeAshton]

Many others have mentioned this too. Really interesting how this changes from region to region!

[@meligross4133]

Our Kita ist a special one, it is a Kita at a Hospital. It opens from 5.30 to 23.00. We are very happy to have a place there.

[@ShirosTamagotchi]

as a child i was also in Kita for longer than the other kids. But it was no problem: When the kids were there, i was playing with them and when im alone i would play with Duplo/Lego alone. I´ve heard I never ever got bored of that.

[@frankbarenbach6044]

Don't worry about picking up your kid late. My kids often wanted to stay longer because with the other kids gone, mine had the kita care workers on their own.😂

[@jamesdenton3725]

Yeah, same with us. Was always more of a problem to get them out of Kita in a timely manner to not miss scheduled events, than to get them to stay there. "No dad, I don't want to go just now, let me play with some more"

[@theseasideplanner2702]

Our Kita is open from 6 to 18, most kids are picked up around 2:30. But that's because parents who are at home or work part time can not always bring their kids whenever they want. We barely ever bring our daughter before 9 and we both work late, she's there at least until 4, sometimes even past 5. She definitely is the last kid every once in a while, but she enjoys the full attention of the staff. Don't feel like you're a bad parent, you're doing the best you can!

[@TypeAshton]

Thank you!

[@maisieliberty1319]

As someone who has worked in preschool and kindergartens I feel passionate now that kids can and should play outside in all weather's unless dangerous. As long as they are dressed for it. They learn lots through play and adventures in nature in all the different seasons. It's really good for holistic child development. 😊

[@TypeAshton]

Totally agree. I picked Jack up from Kita on Friday and his coat, boots and rain pants were caked in mud and it made my heart so happy. I love that he has the opportunity to get dirty and get outside (almost) daily.

[@maisieliberty1319]

@@TypeAshton love that! Wish every childcare setting had the wisdom of playing mud and having it seen as positive and important like they seem to in Germany. It sounds like a great place. :)

[@natashashilova9853]

Yeah, I totally feel you with this “technically full-time” option. I am single parent, it is horrible… almost impossible to survive with these schedules. And then my kid is always the last to be picked from Kita

[@TypeAshton]

Awe man, I can only imagine. Jonathan and I are pretty privileged in the aspect that we are a two parent household and can afford to not have me working full time. This has to be such a significant struggle as a single parent. ❤️❤️ *sending hugs your way**

[@natashashilova9853]

@@TypeAshton ❤️❤️❤️

[@tariqgoldenpakistan5758]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🇵🇰🇵🇰🇵🇰🇵🇰

[@heikeh.9977]

Well,there are several other advantages that you might not have mentioned but are worth to know. Food preparation is or was a joint family effort ever since! You can see this in every indigene or rural oriented culture! It’s so important as this teaches humans what nutrition and diet means, what is healthy and what is maybe poisonous. It brings the family together and food preparation has tasks for every level. They created something with their own hands and even helped to care for others - proud with a reason! And bringing kids outside is definitely the best to push their immune system. That’s the main reason they do it.

[@martenwolff426]

First at all, you are not a bad parent when you are working. i am working in a Kita in germany. i takes about two years to adjust to the different illnesses. :) by the way things like oppening hours etc. are very different from Kita to Kita and exspecialy from state to state. in Mecklenburg Vorpommern (north eastern Germany) Full Time means 10 hours. in case of my Kita that means every thing from 5:45 - 15:45 to 10:30 - 20:30.

[@TypeAshton]

Interesting points. We hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

[@martenwolff426]

@@TypeAshton danke gleichfalls.

[@shibolinemress8913]

I remember bits and pieces of the daycare I attended in England in the mid 1960's. I loved going on group trips walking 2-by-2 holding hands, with one or two teachers at the front of the line and one or two at the back. Now I'm 60 and living in Germany, and every time I see the KiTa and KiGa groups on trips it takes me right back to those days! ❤😊

[@ElDiosDelBajo]

My daughter also had a milk protein allergy as an infant, but did "grow out" of it around the age of 2.5 to 3. Fingers crossed for Jack that it will be the same for him

[@TypeAshton]

He's already grown out of it (for the most part). It seems like around 14-15 months was the turning point. 😊😊

[@moritzweber8530]

Interesting channel! Our first daughter was born in Beijing where kids being raised by their grandparents is normal. However, even if my wife is Asian descended, we are both very german when it comes to parenting mentality. Both of us work full time and it is quite a challenge. Usually I take the kids to Kita around 9 am while I am already in my first meetings on the phone and my wife picks them up between 3:30 and 4:00 pm. Kita hours are from 7 am till 6 pm. We just feel that the kids day shouldn't be longer than our working day. What usually happens is that we spend family time from 5 till 8 pm and once the kids are sleeping, we are going back to work until 11 pm or midnight. One or two evenings we are cleaning and have some time together afterwards. We could extend Kita hours but we want to spend as much time with the kids as possible. I even turned down a couple of promotion offers to upper management. I guess this also wouldn't work too good in an American company, but for us is fine. Everybody understands my motivation and asks me to rethink once the kids are in school and spending time with us become uncool. Most important thing while parenting is to learn to do not give a f..k. Otherwise you constantly have to feel bad because you are not cooking healthy enough, because you don't to potty training right, because you let the kids watch TV, because you dress them up wrong (too warm, too cold, too many brands, wrong material), because you take them to kindergarten by bike (cars are too dangerous), car (not environmental friendly), public transportation (risk of Corona infection) and so on...

[@multirider8997]

My sister had a milk allergy and grew up drinking red Bush tea or Rooibos as we call it. Its great has no teaine (caffeine in tea) and is very soothing on the gut. U may want to try it but be careful in Germany they often mix it with vanilla essence.... make sure u get the pure natural version.

[@aglaiacassata8675]

When our little girl started Kita (Krippe) at 10 months, we were ALWAYS ill! The entire family would have scarlett fever time and again, or Hand-Fuß-Mund-Krankheit, or Ringelröteln - you name it, we had it. I actually worked as a freelancer until she went to school, so that I could take care of her when she was ill, and work in the evenings and on weekends. (Once we even hired a fulltime babysitter to get a project done.) But most kids are not as sick as our daughter used to be, fortunately.

[@TypeAshton]

His Kita also had an outbreak of Hand-foot-mouth last week - RIGHT before everyone was going to be leaving for the Christmas holidays. Thankfully, I dont know how we dodged it, but the single student who got it didn't spread it to the rest of the class.

[@Sw4lley]

It’s not a sign of bad mom at all, it’s a lot better to have finished all your work and then fully concentrate on the child instead of juggling both at once. The hours exist to help all circumstances and as you described it does.

[@vanessaguerrero3478]

I understand when you said: I feel like a bad mum. I live in Berlin and come from Spain, my husband is german and here Kitas are open longer, usually. Our Kita was open from 7:30 to 18:00, but if I or my husband pick her up after 16, there were only like 3-4 children and after 17 probably she and maybe another one. But it is like it is. Jack is so sweet!

[@missis_jo1017]

The question is, whether your children cared about being the last ones. For some time we were the ones picking the children up as the last ones. After I finished my degree and started picking them up much earlier and at times they actually protested because they really enjoyed the alone-time with the teacher.

[@vanessaguerrero3478]

@@missis_jo1017 That is also true, she protest also but she was older 😊

[@Julia-lk8jn]

@@missis_jo1017 I can easily imagine that. You've got the whole Kita to yourself, you can use whatever toy / paper / pencils you want, and I suspect that some children enjoy having a quiet place to sink into their books or games :)

[@folkehoffmann1198]

I have worked in a lot of different German Kitas in Berlin and I have actually never seen the kitchen being used in the way you describe. I have worked in one Kita where we would make little breads once a week but the dough would already be prepared for that. And forming the breads always happened in the group rooms and not in the kitchen. Unfortunately using the kitchen with the kids is something that hardly ever happens. All they usually see is us cutting up fruits and maybe vegetables. But I like how it is done in Jacks' Kita. And in most Kitas you have to take the kids outside at least a few times a week. If you don't do that the kids will act like crazy and that will drive you crazy as well! The kids need to be able to run etc. and in most Kitas that's just not really possible to do inside all the time.

[@TypeAshton]

I totally get it. Jack is a ball of energy, I'm always happy when they can get him outside and burn some of it off. He loves exploring and it is great for his little mind.

[@guido-hillmann]

Kinder in eine "Kindertageseinrichtung" (Kita) zu bringen, ist eine allgemein anerkannte Sache. Man muss nicht an sich als "schlechte Mutter/Vater" denken, sondern daran, dass man den Kindern etwas Gutes tut. Sie finden Freunde, lernen soziale Kontakte kennen und haben Spaß. Die Menschen, die dort arbeiten, sind sehr professionell ("Erzieherin/Erzieher") und sie sind sehr gut aufgehoben. Sogar bei mir, was das Thema Freundschaft angeht: Ich hatte noch lange Kontakt zu meiner 'Kindergartenfreundin Tanja". Von solchen Freundschaften hat ein Kind viele Jahre etwas. Oder: Im Kindergarten hatten wir eine "Kochgruppe". Da habe ich mit 5 Jahren gelernt, dass Kochen gar nicht so schwer ist. Wenn ich zurückschaue: Ich möchte die Zeit nicht missen!

[@TypeAshton]

Danke für den netten Kommentar! Dadurch fühlen wir uns auf jeden Fall besser. Neben deinen Punkten ist es für uns und ihn auch sehr wichtig, dass Jack richtig Deutsch lernt!

[@Miranjor]

Hey there! I am a fulltime-working mum, also living in the Black Forest. The region I live is probably even more rural and conservative than yours. When our daugther was born it was out of question that I would be working half-time or stay at kome for more than a year. In fact, I stayed home for 6 months, then my husyband did the same. We couldn't afford more and needed to work to gain enough money. When she was one year old she went to a Kita that had just opened. A private one. It was the only one whose opening times were longer than 2 p.m. I brought her in the morning at 8.30, my husband picked her up at 16 Uhr. It was frowned by a lot of peope how we could give a small child away for that long, but she loved the Kita. In fact she was getting bored at home.

[@TypeAshton]

Very interesting story. In the United States it is so normal to take a child as young as 3 months, but in Germany less than a year is frowned upon. We have mixed feelings, but have realized how much fun Jack is having with the other kids. Plus it's important for us that he hears and learns from native German speakers. I hope everything is going well for you now!

[@TheElainemarley]

I'm a mom of 2 toddlers and in their first year of Kita we basically stayed home the whole winter. Every other week one kid got sick.. It get's better over the years though!

[@TypeAshton]

Oh it's so hard! We are lucky to be living somewhere where the sick time is easy to claim, though.

[@ariankubitza1140]

I’ve went to an international Kindertagesstätte (Kita), so I’ve got to experience, on top off all the things Jack is also experiencing, all types of different culture and got to play with Americans or Italian kids. Some times we’d visit our „partnerkita“ in different countries. I’m thankful for that kind of experience.

[@TypeAshton]

We are so happy that Jack has the opportunity to meet and learn from so many different cultures. It's wonderful for child (or adult) development.

[@olgatarasevich3113]

My son was also born in November 2020 in Black Forest , but unlike in your area we don’t have day care for under 2 year olds!!! Which makes it very difficult for me to work (no family in the country) , the positive thing if this pandemic is that I can work from home and do flexible hours. Good luck to you guys, love your channel

[@TypeAshton]

Ah really? We didn't realize that having care for the under 3 age was difficult to find in other areas. Really interesting to learn this. We too were so thankful to be able to work from home and be able to spend more time with Jack. But you're right, it does get very tough to work and watch a little one. I feel for you. ❤️

[@dbeff]

Thank you for all information you shared in this video! Very very helpful! 🙏

[@TypeAshton]

We are glad you enjoyed it!

[@junimondify]

It's kind of weird to hear the Erzieherinnen being referred to as "teachers" and the Kita group as "class", because there definitely is a difference I feel.

[@TypeAshton]

Yeah that's a good point, this is just our American way of talking about this because that's how they are called there.

[@noahluppe]

For me (German) it also sound like American kindergartens are viewed as a part of the school system there with sometimes even courses like spanish, while my kindergarten experience here in Germany is it's just a place for playing (and eating lunch for whole day and sleeping for younger kids).

[@haveawonderfulday279]

In Swizerland Kindergarten actually is part of our school system...

[@AHe-go8me]

It's because in English it's all about education while in German there are two different words "Erziehung" and "Bildung". These are two different words with different meanings but they are connected with each other. So in Germany there are differences between school and kindergarden and the whole concept. But this understanding is hard to adapt in languages where there is no difference for this two meanings and other way around. (Sorry for my bad English)

[@junimondify]

@@AHe-go8me But there could be a distinction in English, language does have different terms there as well - nurture, raising, upbringing are all more "Erziehung" than education, "Bildung". It comes down to what you expect the Kindergarten and Vorschule to be for your children, I guess. By the way, your English is perfectly understandable.

[@FrankenSpielt]

Welcome to parenting. For me it's good to hear, that the "issues" we were facing when our little princess came into KiTa are probably the same everywhere. The first few months were the hell of running noses, coughing and headaches. At least for the parents. Our little one overcame these illnesses rather quickly. But what we also experienced was, that she really started to speak very very quickly after joining KiTa. Ok, she was nearly 20 months old. But starting to speak (more than yes/no and mom/dad) was a matter of 4 weeks in KiTa. She once came into our kitchen, and spoke her first sentence with perfect grammar: "Mom, what are you doing now?" (in german of course). What we now experience is, that she tells us to pick her up earlier, so that she is not the last one in Kindergarden. So, it's not solely voluntarily of these parents to pick the children so early. Thats the reason, my wife can only work half days. Well, jeah it's more stressful, but it's somehow manageable. And tbh: the quality time with your kid is so precious. They grow up SO fast! We really say, we rather take the time to be with them and play or cuddle instead of doing chores... Oh yes, one little thing to mention: never ever say to yourself that you might be bad parents because of this or that. That's plain wrong. I'm sure you're amazing parents and you do your very best to be the best parents that your little Jack can have. It's not always possible, and even parents sometimes need some time for their own to regain their strength, but that doesn't make you a bad mom. That just makes you human.

[@TypeAshton]

Thank you so much for this kind, supportive comment. ❤️ Really made my heart happy to read it this morning.

[@cd2290]

Working mom life. I’m a teacher and have a child in preK and one in 3rd grade. Even though I’m at work from 7:45-3, my children’s day runs from 6:30 (leave the house) to 5:00 (arrive home). It takes 1hour and 15 minutes for me to drop off each child at their before school care and then drive to work. Then in reverse for the afternoon. Then it’s time for multitasking dinner and homework help, quickly followed up by baths and bedtime routines. Leaving 8:30 or 9:00 until 10:30 for my husband and I to clean the house, see each other and cram in any work I need to do for teaching. My husband works a full time job but has an hour commute (without traffic) so he’s out the door at 5:30 and doesn’t get home until closer to 6pm. It’s exhausting and there never seems to be enough time ever. It’s not ideal but it also won’t be forever so balancing things and doing what you can in the bite sized moments you have are the key to getting through it.

[@susanne022]

I can understand you so well. I worked as a doctor at a hospital and I had to drop off my son at 7 o‘clock in the morning- he was the first. And often, when work was long, I came with hanging tongue rushing to the Kita. Often I came a little late, so I phoned for a taxi to take my son from the kita to the hospital, until I had finished. But it was not me alone, so the kita decided to open one room for the late ones, like a happy hour. It had to be paid extra for every 15 minutes late, but you could be sure, that there was one taking care of your kid

[@AleaumeAnders]

To give you a heads up: this season is exceptional bad concerning diseases and illnesses in kindergarden and schools. Main reason is as you might have guessed corona. Due to the 2 years intermittent lockdowns all kids had less exposure to all those germs, and thus their immune systems need to retrain (or for the younger kids even train for the first time) to be able to cope with them. Same, if in a lesser extent, goes for us adults. So in essence: it will get better. ;)

[@winterschmied4583]

Yup, just got the information from my Sister that her eldest daughter catched a Gastrointestinal virus in Kindergarten. There was a warning at the front Door that this Virus is going around. She had to decide if she turned around going home and isolate the Kids or let them socialize. The eldest even has to perform something in the childrens Mass at Christmas and they practise every day in the group. When my children were in Kindergarten our Kinderarzt (Pediatrician) once told us that there are in all 14 different viruses for Scarlet-Fever that the children could catch. They each are a variant just like Corona, the Delta Variant an Omicron. Once he said: "You should be happy. There are only three variants left for them." We were happy and they catched them too. 😉😂

[@Cashdummy]

That's true due to covid and the precautions our immune systems are not trained as they used to be trained. Covid aside, it's all the other stuff that is catching up.

[@TypeAshton]

Yes we have heard the same thing. I guess we are all in the same situation. Not sharing any germs and losing our immunity to the every day illnesses. It will get better. :)

[@mizapf]

"Heads up" and "Kopf hoch" are false friends, I had to learn that as well. 🙂

[@JonDoe123456]

I head the same issue. 3 months of illness. But now I feel like I could resist even the zombie virus. In the last years I got cold every winter because I have a bad immune system. But this year I feel prepared for every virus.

[@jensschroder8214]

In East Germany it was customary to bring the children to the daycare center before work and to pick them up again in the evening. This is still the case in France today. In West Germany, mothers often stayed at home and soon picked up the children again. It's only changing slowly. But I think the whole "Rabenmutter" = bad mother discussion is an unnecessarily old ideological opinion. Many families today depend on two earnings. The state encourages this development. When the little ones learn so much in KITA, it is good for them, especially where many families only have one child. The double burden for women is often a problem and requires good planning. That's why it was a catastrophe for many when daycare centers and schools were closed in the Lockdown (State order to stay at home). The little ones probably had to be entertained in a small city apartment and at the same time the students should continue their lessons at home. The parents are often overwhelmed by explaining the complicated tasks to the children. Good if you live in the country and have space to go out.

[@jensschroder8214]

Jack learns to understand English and German sentences. From this he develops his own language and says "Jeah". Difficult with "NO" and "NEIN"

[@TypeAshton]

Yeah this is very interesting for us. The United States for the most part has two full-time working parents and it's normal. In western Germany it appears quite common that the Mom works part-time... maybe. However as you said, it's great for the childs development and they are able to learn so much!

[@s.neuhaus1512]

Hahaha, exactly the reason why our children are on the Dutch Kita. We live on the border of The NLs and Germany. In the Netherlands the Kita’s are open 7:30-18:00 (some till 18:30). My wife is doctor and I’ve my own gardening company. Yes, indeed sometimes I’ve to struggle with the time because I’ve to pick-up the kids. Also very unusual in Germany, but common in the Netherlands, both parents work four days a week (sometimes still 36h/wk contract in 4 days). My wife and I have both a day off a week to do some things at home, have time with the kids etc etc.

[@falk-oliverz3061]

I think is important to understand, what is the meaning of have children or parents. If you have children and work fulltime. You miss very much fx time with your children. At the moment you have just 1 child. The bedst for the future is , 1 parent is fulltime and the other partime. If you get more kids, you didnt have time for a fulltime job. You need time for arrangement (sport, klubs, events, school, driving, teacher and so on) The time is coming, were you need to make a decision. What is more important. Carreer, work, money or time with your children. My advice, take your time with your family and dont be a working slave. :)

[@TheMrKroll]

The cold season has been extreme this autumn/winter time. I have one kid in second grade, one in his last kindergarten year and two 1,5 year olds at home and I've been ill since September 🥴 it will get better, I promise 🤭 And I guess it's a mom thing to worry about leaving your kids too long at the Kita - I know it so well. ❤️ Have a wonderful Christmas!

[@ravanpee1325]

What are you talking about, we don't even have snow yet everywhere. It's mega warm for the winter.

[@m.h.6470]

@@ravanpee1325 it depends on the region and elevation. I am currently looking at snow.

[@TheMrKroll]

@@ravanpee1325 "cold" as a common cold, should've called it the "flu season" probably. Don't have to get upset so easy 😉 but maybe you intended to pick on my mistake 🤭 I come from much colder weather myself, but -5 in the morning is not "warm" for most people, especially kids who are used to having +10 C on Christmas (northern NRW region here).

[@TypeAshton]

We've been hearing the same thing. We will come out stronger! We hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

[@rzuue]

I think the time issue sadly comes with being a PhD student. My boyfriend is also one (by now a PhD candidate) and the amount of times he has worked through whole nights not sleeping… Children require a lot of time and attention and that together with studies and a relationship with your partner that you want to cherish is just tough. The day only has a limited amount of hours

[@ALMhart]

I raised all three of my children here in Germany. ( they are now 20/20/24) We did not live in the city and the Kita closed at 1pm. I remember so many days....roughly 3 times a week...the kindergarten teacher standing out front with my twin daughters on each hand...waiting for me to come. Everyone was gone. I felt horrible, stressed and rushed. The kindergarten has since then extended hours until 4 pm but still....not easy as a working parent. I created a small network of mothers back then to solve this dilemma on some days so I could work at all. Having said that, this time was incredibly good for my children. I loved how they exposed my kids to real life....from cooking to cold temps to activities.

[@TypeAshton]

Thank you so much for this comment. It is really comforting to hear that I'm not alone in this dilemma. It is a touch balance to strike, but like you mentioned, the skills and development he is gaining by being in Kita are so wonderful. ❤️ Thank you again and I hope you have a great holiday season.

[@dirkeinnolf2284]

Hello, nice to hear about your experiences here in Germany and at the same time to improve my English skills. We had our boys in the forest kindergarten and they had enjoyed the outdoor time 😀. Possibly an option for your little boy. All best !

[@royblack2395]

I have four children. During their kindergarten years, they were all constantly sick. This is due to the fact that they develop their immune system at this age.It will be much better at school. You have to survive the time until then somehow. The kindergarten times in Germany are a disaster. You are still lucky that you have a Kita that is open until 5:00 am. There aren't Kitas like that everywhere. People are always talking about the emancipation of women here. In my opinion the most effective emancipation measure would be childcare facilities that are reliably open from 7:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.

[@TypeAshton]

It is really interesting how things like Kita hours differ from country to country. Before I became a mom it wasn't something I really thought about. Jonathan and I are definitely in a very privileged position where we can afford to not have me work 100% full time - but this isn't the case for every family.

[@jheyerlein]

@@TypeAshton 😂 not even from country to country. We lived in Rheinfelden, close to Basel and there where no Kitas close by that would take 1yr old kids for only 6hrs daily. It was eather 8hrs or 4 wich made us choose a Tagesmutter. That was a trip and next problem, we moved to Schleswig Holstein. Here the system is different. They have a waiting list for Kindergarden and the first date you asked for your kid to get into Kindergarden will decide the position on the list.... Däng we had a daymom in the south and had not applied for Kindergarden bc we knew we would move. My son is over 3 and the oldest in his daymom group since half a year. Due to Covid it was hard to find other activities for him to meet other kids and it is still unclear whether we will get a place for him in August or not. Its a mess! Every city decides their own rules. 😂 My advise, don't move m

[@wjhann4836]

Language: My feeling is: younger children learn languages like consuming snacks 😄 It seems to be so easy for them. I met the son of a coworker (other department in Swiss), can't remember exactly. He was Italien, she was French. They lived long tim in the US, later in different parts of Swiss. That boy some 10 - 12 years spoke 4 languages absolutely fluent. The parents also trained it: Father only corresponds in Italien, mother in French. Funny: We gave him a present (toy). He thanked in perfect German (ok, a little Swiss accent) - then run to mum telling about in German. She looked strange and he repeated everything in the same super speed in French. Amazing.

[@dschoas]

I raise my children also with multi languages. I am German, my wife is Vietnamese, my sister in law is Argentinian, and my brother in law is French. One friend of my sons is Chinese, so I encourage them to learn Mandarin. My children speak German, Vietnamese, Spanish and French fluent. Rule number one is: only speak with them in your mother tongue when they start learning the language. That prevents you from teaching them false language, in case you teach them your faults you make with non mother tongue languages. Don't worry that they will mix up the languages. From my experience it does not happen, and the only use another language, if the don't know a specific worf yet.

[@TypeAshton]

That is SO amazing. The gift of multi-lingualism is one of the big reasons we decided to raise a family abroad. Jonathan and I weren't introduced to foreign languages until we were 16 (and even then it was only for 2ish years and then we never used it again). I am so excited for Jack to learn German and English fluently (and hopefully more languages through school)! ❤️❤️

[@TheAlja]

I'm german, my sister moved to NZ, she now has 2 kids, she is talking german with them and in kindergarten, school and everyday outside life, it's obviously english for them. Well, what those kiwis consider english. It worked well with the older one, but the little one is asking mommy to not talk german all the time. For some reason he really doesn't like the language.

[@jessicaely2521]

@wjha NN yeah this is the way kids are. I'm living in Switzerland. I have a 3 year old and my husband speaks Basel Deutsch, I speak English, my mother in law speaks French, my niece/nephew speaks Spanish, and our neighbor/babysitter speaks Italian with her. She speaks the way a 3 year old will speak when growing up with each of the languages. It's sad my Kinderartz tried to convince me that my daughter should only grow up speaking English since my husband, daughter, and I will move to the US (if my husband ever gets his Greencard. This is a long story). The Kimderartz said our daughter would confuse the languages and won't speak a proper language. Yes my daughter screws up words. She combines English with one of the languages I listed, but I believe she will work it out. I lied to the doctor and said none of my family (besides my husband) speaks English. I learned Spanish as a 2nd language and my husband speaks French. Italian we're screwed 😂.The Italians speak French and Basel Deutsch though.

[@alaksiejstankievicx]

My children were less than 1 year for one and a bit older than 2 for another, when we moved to Germany. They both went to KiTa and they learned German there, moreover we as family was discouraged to talk German with children by evolving check at Kinderartzt, despite I was already at ca. B1 level when we moved to Germany. Now our children at 4th and 5th class respectively, they are totally bilingual (I even say even 2.5 lingual as they understand Belarusian as well and we are praying usually in Belarusian) and good distinguish the languages. Sometimes a here a grammatical forms influenced by German, but no code-switching or mixed vocabulary, which was definitely in the time of early KiTa. So KiTa is a perfect place to learn German. However, I need to say this very relaxed German KiTa approach in preparing for school might be a cause of some problems our children facing in the school with reading. As we allowed this relax approach to assume they will learn read at school, and might it would work if our children was monolingual German speaker (and we were Germans), but for bilingual children, given also a usage of two scripts (Cyrillic and Latin), they would have needed more support in the year before the school. And if our youngest seems finally catch up (but this is already 4th class), for our eldest we are going this month to special check if any kind of dyslexia have place. But from all my 8 years of experience with children in Germany I almost 100% sure that even such problem we overcome. And yep it is true for KiTas everywhere in Germany "there is no bad weather". The short KiTa times is grim leftover of implicit assumption that women should be a housewife. You even can compare that in the new federal lands, KiTa time usually longer than in older lands, as part of GDR heritage. And big thanks for your videos I have watched might be dozen of them today. Many of them touched my own experience, despite I moved to Germany form country very different than USA.

[@TL-xv9of]

If you do have a Waldkindergarten in your area consider to take a look and make a Schnuppertag. My kids loved it.

[@TypeAshton]

Oh very cool! Thank you for the suggestion. :)

[@puellanivis]

I had a co-worker who kind of bent our company into letting him work more remote time than they normally allowed (pre-COVID, the policy was 1 day a week) precisely because he had to pick up his kids from Kita. His wife had done a lot of the “heavy lifting” before Kita, but was ready to get back into the workforce, so he really pushed hard to get concessions so that he could take over the primary parent duties once his kid was in Kita.

[@TypeAshton]

That is so great. I think Jonathan is also going to push to do work-from-home 1 day a week from now on so that he can spend more time with us and help with Kita. Once we move into our new house, he will have a 30 min commute each way. So gaining that extra hour will be so nice.

[@DidierWierdsma6335]

Thank God that you live in a country where you can take the time of to take care of you're child without the fear of loosing you're job. Country's like the Netherlands my country and Germany and many other European country's have the same policies God bless Europe. Also Jack is adorable please forgive me for saying that. Other than that a great video keep it up👍

[@TypeAshton]

Thank you! Germany is outstanding when it comes to child care and protection of the parents for their jobs and time off. We hope you have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year!

[@alexcadena-michel3695]

With our daughters, here in Switzerlad, we decided to sacrifice the full salary and just work 60% my wife and 80% in my case, because we compare the cost of the Kita for two kids, and the money that we received and definitely worth because and same time we spend so much time with them until they get to the kindergarten, growing kids is a long term commitment, now they have 18 and 15 and we have no regrets about what we did an the early years of both girls. Your videos are really great 👍

[@gabicalabria983]

I love your channel! My son is few months older that yours. We are also working fulltime … it is hard with the kits like you said. We plots the day to leave earlier and work extra hours during the night, thankfully our jobs allowed it!

[@TypeAshton]

Thank you so much for the compliment. It is great that you and your partner were able to find a good balance with the kita opening hours. ❤️❤️❤️

[@butenbremer1965]

Just to comfort you: your current health issues while having your toddler in a KITA reminds me of my own fatherhood, when my now 19 year old son struck me down with all sorts of illnesses while he was little. That's totally normal and part of raising and socializing a young human with other kids. KITAs are for long well known for being melting pots of any kinds of viruses around. The kids aren't necessarily getting sick themselves, it's their parents who usually are. I was an International Key Account Manager at that time, and I missed a ton of my working hours and lost lots of important projects due to various illnesses. Looking back at it, I laugh at this - it was totally worth it! Raising one's own child is the greatest experience a human could possibly enjoy! I feel so, so happy for you so wonderful guys!! Jack is enjoying his young life obviously, he couldn't be any happier as it seems. He's getting adjusted to being in the outdoors in any weather conditions - teach him to ride a bicycle once he's old enough (starting with a Laufrad aus Holz!!) - I can see Jonathan's glancy eyes already! If you want to raise Jack bilingually, please proceed so by solely speaking English with him. His exposure to German will soon become overwhelmingly intense, Jack will be a native German speaker a lot sooner than you may have thought of! Meine liebe Familie aus dem Schwarzwald: Ashton, Jonathan und Jack, ich wünsche Euch und Euren Familien sowie Freunden in den US ein schönes Weihnachtsfest! Liebe Grüße aus dem Taunus bei Frankfurt, Ralph PS: I wished my English was half as good as your German, I hope you got the point I was trying to say.......

[@TypeAshton]

Hi Ralph! Thank you so much or such the nice comment. Overall we are so excited for the growth that Jack has made at Kita and we can see how much he has flourished in this setting. He really is a social butterfly and loves be to around people. We also hope you have a wonderful Christmas holiday and hope you have a great start to the new year. ❤️

[@Suballi4004]

As far as one of my sisters is concerned: One of the parents starts work early and fetches the kids on the way home , the other parent starts a little later and brings the children to their respective daycare (Kita and Kindergarten). You can also organise with some other parents and rotate to watch the children for some extra hours, but that mostly works with elder kids.

[@hellome8826]

We did the same when our children were small. One parent started earlier so was able to pick up on way home. And other parent started later so was able to drop off before work. Of course each family's circumstance is different as far as what works best for them. I'm in U.S. and this is what our own family did as far as pick up and drop off schedule.

[@TypeAshton]

Unfortunately one of the challenges of being an immigrant family abroad is that we don't have family around to help with pick ups and drop offs. But we would love to find a good group of friends that we could trade off pick up times with. I think this could be a great solution long term.

[@luckyqualmi]

@@TypeAshton Due to the pandemic it's more difficult right now, but in normal times I would suggest to invite the parents of Jack's friends for Kaffee und Kuchen at a saturday or sunday afternoon, so they can play together and you get to know the other parents. Ofc you won't beome best friends with each of them, but maybe one couple will stick and can help with taking care of the little ones. I remember when I was young I spent every second or third day at my friends home after Kindergarten and on other days he stayed with us. Also these days many employers are much more open for Gleitzeit which gives extra flexibility.

[@LEbackstage]

We have the saying "There is no bad weather, only bad clothing". It doesn't matter if it's cold, snowing or raining, fresh air and being outside is always a good thing.

[@TypeAshton]

It really is a great phrase to live by. I picked Jack up from Kita last Friday with all muddy rain pants, coat and boots and I was delighted. He had a wonderful time playing outside even thought it was a bit chilly.

[@jstdbg5088]

no bad weather, just bad clothes.....exactly! nailed it !

[@TypeAshton]

We've fully embraced this way of thinking. :)

[@Moschka543]

I hope your dissertation submission went well! :) I think other people picking up their child earlier is a result of you living in a pretty conservative part of Germany where women tend to still work less when they have a little one (and your Kindergarten opening times also sounds really short) and probably also you having no relatives to rely on (I assume). When I was little, often times my grandma or big brother would pick me up and hang out with me until my parents got home in the evening. Don't feel like you're being a bad mom!

[@TypeAshton]

Yes that's a good point. We actually didn't know we were living in a conservative part of Germany. But it is starting to make more sense to us. No relatives within 8,000km of us, so we are doing our best alone. :)

[@TheAxel65]

We had been incredibly lucky with our Kita: Our daughter was actually Jack's age at the time when an entire floor was rented by a private Kita initiative in the apartment building where we lived at the time. A short time later, we were offered to look after Hanna from 8:00 in the morning until 13:00. Just like that, as a kind of free neighborhood service. 2 years later, the new Kita building of the initiative was inaugurated: The building, which was financed by donations, has a day care center, but also 4 apartments for single mothers, whose children are looked after in the same building from 7:00 to 18:00. Hanna moved to the new building with the children she already knew from the hourly care in our house and was cared for there from 7:00 to 18:00. Since this daycare center focuses on single parents who all worked full-time, Hanna was also never the last one when I picked her up there. But it wasn't just the extended opening hours - by German standards - that made this Kita something special: Once a month, there was always a daycare sleepover on a Friday. The kids loved it and we parents had the whole Friday evening just for us!!! In fact, the entire Kita took Hanna on a 1 week summer vacation when she was just 2 1/2 years old. She didn't miss us for a second that week, as we discovered to our secret disappointment. Since school kids also got afternoon care there (these were almost all former Kita kids) the youngest were about 12 months old, the oldest between 6-8 years. This gave the very little ones a noticeable push in their development, the "big ones" were always admired like superstars ;-) Long story short: Yes, there is somewhere out there, this perfect KITA, which also offers work-friendly opening hours for parents who are both working or single parents.

[@TypeAshton]

WOW that is INCREDIBLE!!! We feel pretty lucky in that we have a great babysitter. Before Jack went into Kita we did hire a Tagesmutter just for a couple of days a week for 6 hours. This gave me a little bit of time to make progress on my dissertation. Now, we use her as a contact if Jonathan and I want to go out to dinner together. It is such a great resource because we don't have family around to help. I can imagine that your Kita has been such a wonderful resource for your family too. ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you SO much for sharing this story.

[@nicola6234]

I put my son into daycare just before winter started and we were all constantly sick for the first six months straight. The struggle is definitely real, I keep telling myself it's worth it but it's been rough!

[@susanndux3270]

The small time slot in Kita ist a West-Germany problem especially in Baden-Würtemmberg. In Saxony most KITAs open from 6 am to 6 pm.

[@MiaMizuno]

All my child less coworkers laughed at me when, after a whole Winter of sicknesses and sickness leave (I had 30 days in the end, as I caught everything!), I finally caught the Hand-Mund-Fuß and was not allowed to go to the Office, as this is a heavily infectious disease! These people literally played the guilt card on me, that I left my Team alone. Long story Short, I quit and am happy now with my new employer for 2 years!

[@TypeAshton]

OH man, we also had a scare with Hand-Foot-Mouth disease. About a week-ish before we were to leave fort he US for Christmas, another child at Jack's Kita came down with it. Usually it runs rampant through the daycare, but thankfully it was only an isolated incident. We also heard how contagious it can be and were so worried. I'm happy that you found an employer that is so supportive! Thank you for watching!

[@raggiezockt]

@@TypeAshton bei uns war auch direkt vor Weihnachten ein Fall von Hand Fuss Mund Krankheit in einer Kita in Freiburg. 😅

[@mrz_5445]

To your point about feeling bad for having a full time job: We (Germans) have the same feelings. When we pick our son up he is one of the last children still there. We felt bad at first, but the teachers there told us it is fine and he really loves the KITA and flourishes there. It is tough working full time with one (or more) children. And it is not supposed to be like this. We humans grew up in big groups of closely related people and multi-generation families. There was always someone to look after the children. Our modern "core family" concept is relativly new and it IS hard to keep up with everything. Maybe consider working less (easier said than done, I know), but it helped for us to reduce weekly working hours to 30. Also yes, our child (he is the same age as yours) is almost constantly sick. I hope that gets better soon.

[@missis_jo1017]

It will get better! We planned on putting our fourth child into daycare by September 2020 and the first thing I said was that I won’t be starting job hunting before March 2021. Because the first winter in daycare IS the toughest and even the healthiest parents will get sick eventually! (Well, about our plans: Corona came, we moved away and we still don’t have a Kitaplatz for the youngest or Hortplätze for the older kids. So much about job hunting… 😭)

[@TypeAshton]

Yeah I think our schedules will get better once I finish my dissertation and work from home. I think our situation is complicated by the fact that we don't have any family around to help. A good friend of mine, who is also a PhD student, her parents come and do pick ups 2-3 days a week to help them out. It is just one of the trade offs living so far away.

[@arieller2483]

What you descripted is so similar to the US Montessori school my daughter goes to, from the outdoor play to the tables to the mom guilt. My daughter is often the first one dropped off and the only child left at the end of the day (and I pick her up 30 minutes before they officially close). But that means she's getting the one on one care and attention at school that I would want her to have if I was home with her, and the benefit of the older children, the team of caring teachers, and the learning that is just the right challenge. It's the best care I could want for her, even if I'm not there for every moment of it, and that's okay.

[@christianseyock7315]

you are doing great! probably its just the difference between a german and an usa "hustle..." and there is nothing wrong with each one. just different. cross my fingers for your dissertation so you can enjoy family life a bit more again. LOVE YOUR VIDEOS. Merry Christmas to you all.

[@K__a__M__I]

I'm a (German) Occupational Therapist. Seeing that American Child-Prison-Feeding-Trough-Table™ made me physically nauseaous. _Holy Sh...eibenkleister_ that thing is _so_ wrong!

[@TypeAshton]

It's interesting seeing this comment. For us, this wasn't even something we noticed because we considered it 'normal'. However now looking at it again, there is such a stark difference!

[@Ashorisk]

You are not alone with the problem of picking up the Kid from daycare ... be assured of that ! We at some part teamed up with another family and picked up their kid too for 1-2 days so they can work longer and vice versa :)

[@TypeAshton]

What a great idea! I still struggle to really connect with the other German speaking mom's, but I've gotten closer-ish with one of them. It could be great to work together to help pick up the little one's.

[@simonbe]

Very nice video! Yea, full-time kita management is really hard in germany. I got two kids (3 and 6 years) both in the same kita and they usually have the timeframe 7:30 - 15:30. There is an option to schedule certain days that they take the kids 30mins earlier or keep them 30mins later but thats it. My wife works in shifts while I have a rather flexible work-time with core times from 10:00-15:30. That even used to be 10-16, but because of the kita times I requested to shorten the core-times so I am able to pick up the kids after work if neccessary. This was actually the first of your videos I watched and I quikly have to check if you have a newer one online. Because I think by now jack might be talking many more words already ;)

[@arthurmuller671]

Same with us. We were always sick the fist month we put one of our children into Kita. On the other hand the kids developed good health being outdoors as often as they can. But again as you said: we felt like bad parents dropping our kids at 8am as one of the very first and picking them up already at 2pm being the very last to stay because all other parents pick up their kids right at lunch time 12am. So crazy. We both are working. But it seems normal for other parents that the woman stays at home completely just going shopping an picking up their kids at lunch time. And hey - everyone here seems to have grand parents sitting around taking care of the kids on the afternoon. Well, we don't. We feel a little bit off side...

[@RustyDust101]

Hehe, Ashton, you might not have noticed it, but you've been soooo germanized. You start off 'complaining' about something you can't really change. That is Germany's secret national sport. Welcome not to the olympic team, but at least to the local hidden chapter of the Beschwerdeverein, the complaining society. 😁 For the olympic team level you have to be able to cram at least four topics into one sentence about which you can't change the slightest bit, but also have to do it with this down-cast look of endless suffering. You're still much too cheerful looking. Or you're approaching this sport from the sarcastic level and keep on smiling while piling on the disasters. 😂😂 But seriously, I do hope that you all will get better. Don't cram yourselves full of antibiotics if you are not infected with a bacterial strain. Like you said, we still don't have a method of actually treating against a virus that we've already caught, except let our bodies handle it as best as it can.

[@TypeAshton]

hahaha this really gave me a good laugh. 🤣😂🤣 And thank you, we hope we all get better soon. But since I am submitting my formal application for admission into the olympic team I must add one more complaint for good measure - my fever spiked again yesterday so I am off to the doctor (again) for the same plague we've been batteling for the past 3 months. 😬😬 Hopefully I have an immune system made from steel after this is all said and done.

[@RustyDust101]

@@TypeAshton No, no, no, you can't express a sliver of hope of gaining an immune system made of steel. That won't do. Complaining should only be leavened by positivity and hope if you have settled the score to be absolute hell-level complaining. 😂😂 Far too positive. Practice you need a lot, young padawan. 🤣🤣

[@jaymo1655]

Das Kind in der Kita zu haben ist sehr wichtig denn nur hier lernt er das zwischenmenschliche mit Gleichaltrigen! Zu Hause hat er „nur“ Erwachsene 🤷‍♂️. Ich denke ihr macht alles richtig, mit Kind ist immer eine Umstellung, aber das sind Herausforderungen an denen man wächst, und zwar jeder von Euch Dreien! Well Done . Frohes Fest 🎁🎄

[@TypeAshton]

Wir denken, dass es auch für ihn das Richtige war. Er bekommt so tolle und abwechslungsreiche Anregungen. Auch dir Frohe Weihnachten!

[@jakoblindner2356]

Very interesting video. Thank you for sharing your experiences with our Kita system. The issue with the full time daycare is definitely a regional thing in Germany, as others have already pointed out. We experienced this ourselves when we moved from saxony to Baden-Württemberg. Finding a full time Kita near Ulm was very challenging and I’m also regularly one of the first when they open at 7am. As far as I know, there are also upper limits regarding the amount of time you can have your child in the Kita each day, regardless of the actual opening hours, but these vary as well. One really strange Kita concept we found in Ulm (and probably exist in other regions in the south) is Kitas that close for 2hours during lunchtime. So you have to pick your kids up for lunch and bring them back afterwards. I think that’s still a relict of the “old times” with a different family concept. Although things are improving in the south regarding the full time Kitas, one other problem we had last year was to find a full time school for our daughter. We found a private school (which is very uncommon in Germany) with full time daycare and she loves it. You have some time to prepare for that though ;) PS: i really enjoy your videos! Keep up the good work!

[@caakjkdf]

Thank you for the thoughtful videos. My wife and I, with our two year old are returning to Schwäbisch Hall for August and September. We wish we could enroll our son in Kita, so that we both could attend lanaguage immersion during the day. ABER...wegen dem Mangel an Kindertagesbetreuungplatzen, müssen wir eine Tagsmutter oder einen Tagesvater finden. Was auch schwierig ist. It is wonderful hearing your experiences. What an example you guys are for us to vicariously enjoy Germany.

[@kaylaread8048]

In Bavaria (in the countryside) there are day care centers that are open from 7.00 a.m. to 12.00. No joke! Good luck. I'm really glad my kids are grown. 😄

[@NivionScribble]

Hey there. You are a kind and loving mom! Don't let other people tell you anything different!

[@TypeAshton]

Thank you so much for a such a kind message! That's really great to hear everything is working out for you. The play date idea is wonderful. We agree 100% the benefits a Kita provides to children development, Jack has a blast there with all of the different things to do. More time learning German from a native speaker is also very important.

[@justaname999]

The high chair that comes up to the table is so important. Our son was in a special newborn attachment in his high chair essentially from birth and always spent meal times with us. And he's eating dinner with us every day and lunch on his days off and weekends. It made him super curious about food and interested in tasting everything. He's naturally transitioned to eating what we do around his first birthday. I'll usually just wait with full on salt and make his portion a bit less salty and when we eat super spicy stuff, we make his portion milder. He doesn't like everything, he won't keep a lettuce leaf in his mouth for anything, but there are many things he eats and he keeps on trying.

[@justaname999]

And PS: Congratulations on submitting!! I'm also in academia and even though I don't have a PhD supervisor anymore, it's still tough. We are "lucky" because my husband is in the same position, so whenever we both have to work after our kid's gone to bed around 9pm, at least we don't feel like we're neglecting each other :)

[@TypeAshton]

Thank you so, so much!

[@aliflanagan7669]

You're not a bad mum

[@TypeAshton]

Thank you so much.

[@monicastamant]

I agree with a lot of the comments - you shouldn’t feel too guilty! I’m an American in Korea and my son started daycare at 13 months. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about it, but now he’s been in almost a year and it’s been amazing! It sounds like German Kita is similar in a lot of ways to Korean daycare. They cook all of their meals in a kitchen right off of the main play area, and a lot of times they have the kids “help” cook and they experience a large variety of foods. Outdoor play is not a priority, though, so when he goes to “kindergarten” (ages 3-5 in Korea) I want to send him to one where they play outdoors a lot and learn about nature. Korean kids spend a lot of time indoors, and a lot of parents here hurry their kids home if it’s cold or raining, and I always just try to dress my son for the weather and let him experience it. A lot of my mom friends here don’t even have raincoats for their toddlers. It’s so interesting hearing your perspective! My grandmother was from Germany and I visited my family in Bavaria a few years ago and it was an awesome experience!

[@TypeAshton]

Oh that is so cool! Thank you for sharing this. Jonathan has visited South Korea but never got a good glimpse into what life is really like.

[@monicastamant]

@@TypeAshton I really love it! My husband is Korean, so it was a bit easier to acclimate, and I worked in Japan before I moved here, so I got used to living abroad. Korea is a lot more modern and ever-changing than Japan haha and our healthcare system is really good and cheap for the most part. Daycare is free (unless both parents are not citizens) and the country in general is safe. It is interesting having a blond baby who is half Korean - people always think they need to speak English to us!

[@annawho2220]

my mom also used to work full time while i was in the Kita, often times my grandparents had to take me home with them for a couple hours and also my cousin, if our parents also wanted to buy groceries or something. Its totally fine, keep in mind, that many of the parents /moms work half time, even if the kids are in full time daycare

[@TypeAshton]

It's really interesting for us to learn how many families have 1 parent working part time or not at all. In the United States it's often 2 full time parents. This is something we hope to improve upon over the next few years.

[@annawho2220]

@@TypeAshton I think it has to do with the "Zusammenveranlagung" and with that less taxes for the working partner! we moved to Austria some years back, here this isnt existing and many more women with small children work

[@fairytala]

I don't think one partner (usually the woman) working part-time or not at all should necessarily be seen as an "improvement". It's an old fashioned part of german tax-laws that makes it such a common family structure - and makes the woman (usually) very dependent on her husband because she does not have a good footing in the workforce. I personally view both partners working around 30h a week as the optimal solution. This way both can actually have good long-term job perspectives AND have a family life (or even some free time... )

[@annawho2220]

@@fairytala I also dont see It as an improvement, but I know that it helps families with many kids a LOT, since at some point, its just not realistic for both partners to work. I mean, 30 h are considered "half time" but it isn't, 42 h is fulltime. That plus kids plus house/garden/sports/friends/family... not realistic

[@Freaky0Nina]

So, I got into the same Kita my mum used to work at before she had us. The kitchen was mostly just the place where you ate, but I do remember that on one of my birthdays my mum came with me and her former colleagues allowed her to make lasagna together with my group and me.

[@judithkolling4]

Hi there, I'm a German working mom and I can totally relate to your issues with drop off and pick up times. We live in a rural area and even though our Kita starts at 7, kids need to be picked up by 4.30. I can manage since I work part time but I also feel bad whenever my daughter is one of the first or last ones there. That's something for our entire German society to work on. It might be better in bigger towns, but I struggle a lot with being a working mom, loving wife, emancipated women... somehow that always means not doing anything quite right (whatever "right" is).

[@judithkolling4]

Oh, and I know all about the funs of sick children and parents. RSV has struck us pretty hard with both kids half way to hospital... Just keep telling yourself that it will get better eventually and try to engage people to help out when needed.

[@TypeAshton]

It's really a challenge when working full time. Germany (especially western Germany) it is common for one parent to only be working part-time. This has been a huge surprise to us. Thank you for sharing you story.