Weight gain, water retention, facial swelling during BULIMIA RECOVERY - the HARDEST thing!!

The WORST thing about Bulimia recovery was the water retention, weight gain and swelling I experienced all over my WHOLE body and my face.
In this video I go into a bit of detail about how long it lasted, how I coped with it and how I am doing now - years down the line.
If you have any questions please leave a comment and equally if you would like me to make a video on another topic, please let me know!
Sending love and strength to you all.
Charly
Website: www.takebackthereins.org

[@apfelstrudel714]

The edema from dehydrated cells plumping back up once feeding resumes is quite extreme, on a magnitude of 5 to 10 pounds of water weight, in my case. I had to avoid looking at myself in the mirror, trying on any fitted clothes, and going out in public. It was so tough. It took refeeding edema at least 7 days to get better and about 3 weeks to completely resolve. Anyone in recovery, please hang in there and continue on your eating plan. Trust the process, and the edema will eventually resolve. Good luck.

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

3 weeks is good! For many people it takes far, far longer. You were very lucky with this, although I am not discrediting the incredible strength it takes to go through even as short as a 3 week episode of water retention/edema. I have come to believe that the time taken to heal is related to the time you were bulimic and the severity. I’m glad you made it through to the other side!!!!

[@jackiehammerton]

I’ve suffered from bulimia for 7 years. With therapy I’ve managed to reduce my “episodes” to 2-3x per week (it sounds like a lot but I used to do it multiple times a day every day). But I really want to go the whole month of November without a single episode and make it through Thanksgiving for the first time in 7 years without purging. It’s November 2 😂 So far so good! Celebrate the small wins, right? I’ll return every few days with updates on my progress ❤ Nov. 1 - Day after Halloween, really wanted to purge. Told my husband I’m struggling and he comforted me. I ate a lot due to stress. Did not purge ❤ Nov. 2 - Very self-conscious, I feel huge. Trying to remind myself that weight comes on and comes off and it isn’t forever. Did not purge ❤ Nov. 3 - Felt calmer today, willed myself to eat consistently instead of restricting, which I really wanted to do. I ate two fear foods today (a little pistachio cookie with my morning coffee on my way to work, and a little pecan bar that a coworker made). As soon as I started to move on with my day a little gremlin voice whispered, "Pst... don't get too happy... you ate two sweets today." This sucks. Can't wait for the day when I can enjoy a sweet and not be haunted by ED thoughts. The good news is, I did not purge ❤ Nov. 4 - Struggled through breakfast, then contacted my therapist. Feeling a little calmer now. Day isn’t over yet. Wanted to update this comment to ground myself. Will check-in again later. 😑 …End of the day and… didn’t purge! ❤️ Nov. 5 - Sunday lunch with the in-laws (Italian restaurant). Signaled to my husband I was triggered, so he took my hand (our agreement: if I give him “the signal” it means not to let me go to the bathroom). Another day done, didn’t purge! ❤️ Nov. 6 - Another day down without purging! ❤️ Nov. 7 - Weighed myself this morning which was a mistake. Today is going to be hard. Will check-in later 🕰️ Somehow made it through the day without purging ❤️ Nov. 8 - I can’t believe I’m waking up on the 8th consecutive day of keeping all my food down. I feel more confident. Another day without purging ❤️ Nov. 9 - Woke up feeling great this morning but then had two events (book club and a toddler’s bday) and was so triggered after because I obviously enjoyed the food (including cake). I didn’t purge ❤️ Nov. 10 - I feel huge. But I’m proud I haven’t purged in 10 days. I’m trying my best not to restrict today and to trust my body. Another day without purging ❤️ Nov. 11 - Quite disappointed because I had an episode today 😞 I don’t even know what triggered it - I found myself bored and stress-eating at 5pm and after fighting the impulse for 10 minutes, I purged. Still, I’m glad I was able to go 10 days without having an episode. I’m going to pick myself up and try again ❤ Nov. 12 - Woke up ready to recommit to recovery 💪 I didn’t purge ❤️ Nov. 13 - So triggered right now. At my desk fighting the impulse to purge. A coworker ordered bubble tea for the office and I of course had one… a whole one… I’m taking deep breaths now and waiting for the panic to pass. I’ll check in again before bed 😑 It’s 10pm and I’m proud to say I made it through the day without purging ❤️ Nov. 14 - Started off as a good day, quickly turned bad in the afternoon. I purged 😓 My next therapy session is on Thursday (in 2 days). It can’t come soon enough. I’ll try again tomorrow. I’ll never stop trying. Nov. 15 - Feeling better today after venting to my husband about some triggers I’ve had for the past several days. Didn’t purge today ❤️ Nov. 16 - Therapy today. Feeling calmer and more comfortable. Next session is Nov. 30! Didn’t purge today ❤️ Nov. 17 - Another good day! Didn’t purge ❤️ Nov. 18 - Huge win today! It’s my mother-in-law’s birthday. First, I did not restrict - I ate normally all day even though I knew we’d be having an elaborate dinner. I then enjoyed dinner, even tasting the two desserts we ordered. Did I feel triggered? Yes. Did I purge? Nope! ❤️ Nov. 19 - End of the day, ate half of a huge, delicious pistachio cookie I bought from the bakery. But after finishing half, I wanted the other half. With only a few bites left I started entertaining the idea of having a binge and purge. I ran upstairs to my husband and cuddled with him until the compulsion passed. So proud of myself ❤️ Nov. 20 - Another day down without an episode ❤️ Nov. 21 - Such a good day. I felt so calm and unbothered. Obviously, didn’t purge ❤️ Nov. 22 - Starting initial prepping and cooking the day before thanksgiving. Slightly triggered by how much sugar goes into cranberry sauce. Things got really stressful with the potato recipe. Needed a breather mid-cooking. Didn’t purge today ❤️ Nov. 23 - Well, I did it. For the first time in 7 years I didn’t purge on Thanksgiving. I ate normally throughout the day (didn’t restrict or limit myself) and I enjoyed everything I wanted at dinner. I did get a little triggered on my second dessert, but I signaled my husband and he held my hand and rubbed my back until the panic passed. I am so happy with today. ❤️ Nov. 24 - Thanksgiving leftovers day. Didn’t purge ❤️ Nov. 25 - Had a heart-to-heart with my husband. I told him that seven years ago on Thanksgiving was the first time I purged, because I was afraid of getting fat and “losing him”. He asked me why I ever thought weight-gain would make him feel differently about me, or make him love me less. I told him I wanted to be perfect. I didn’t ever want to give him a reason to leave. So if I could be the perfect girlfriend or the perfect wife, thin and fit and successful and beautiful, then he’d never have a reason to leave. “I’ve been with you through your ADHD, through seasons of depression, through Covid, through everything. Do you really think I wouldn’t be with you if you gained 10 kilos? You’re my everything. I love you just as you are. And if your body changes then I’ll still love you,” he said. I felt overwhelming love and acceptance. Obviously, I didn’t purge today ❤️ Nov. 26 - Another day down without purging, even after eating two of my grandmother’s absolutely-to-die-for chocolate chip cookies ❤️ Nov. 27 - Weighed myself today, not a smart move. Still, I didn’t restrict or purge ❤️ Nov. 28 - I can’t believe I’m two days away to the end of the month… another day down without purging. ❤️ Nov. 29 - It’s our 4th wedding anniversary today. We will definitely be going out to eat to celebrate and it’s weird that I’m not anxious about it. I’m really looking forward to celebrating with my husband ❤️ Nov. 30 - It’s the last day of the month. I can’t believe that in the past 30 days I only had two episodes, while for the past seven years I was having at least two per week. I think this daily check-in is what helped me through and kept me grounded. Just a few words or a daily reflection helped still the voices in my head. There were so many days I wanted to purge, so many triggers, and yes I do wake up this morning uncomfortable in my body, but I’m also so, so grateful that I didn’t torture myself by purging (hurting my heart, my throat, my teeth, my mind…). I now know that I CAN recover and my life will be better off for it. ❤️

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

Go you!! I look forward to reading your daily updates :) I promise that I will. Amazing that you have a supportive husband. And 2-3 times a week after multiple times per day for years is amazing! That is some real progress xxxxx

[@jackiehammerton]

@@charlyemmalouise8929 Thank you so much for making this video and for sharing your recovery journey. Having this comment thread to update my daily struggles pushed me forward in my own recovery. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! ❤️

[@beeserful]

thank you so much for sharing! Im struggling since a long time already with that. Good luck and success only the best for your recovery

[@steph26pickle]

Class video, thank you so much. The pee’ing thing has been worrying me and thought, what the hell. Really appreciate it. Xxx It’s the hardest thing.

[@michelletoms8232]

You’re video is so relatable and so helpful. Thank you so much for sharing this, you are exceptionally brave. Xx

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

Michelle Toms thanks so much for the lovely comment. Please stay tuned. More videos are coming! ❤️❤️ I always aim to be as real and relatable as possible!

[@jul62187]

Thank you for sharing your experience and hope !!!

[@airar4095]

Thank you for sharing this. 💕💖I am in recovery right now. I have gained a few pounds. Its not too noticable but I'm so embarrassed people will notice my weight gain. I love short skirts but I have been avoiding them because I'm a little thicker. Its silly but I feel not as pretty just because of these little pounds. I can relate so much with your video. I get so frustrated because I constantly want to eat even though I am full. I see family members who can just open a bag of snack and eat a portion. And then me who always have to eat the whole thing. It is exhausting. It is so hard but i have hope. Thank you for your video. I wish you the best❤❤

[@simgesecer5755]

thank you so much for taking this video. I can feel it’s also really hard for you to tell these in front of the camera with all this details. But really you made my day better. It’s my 10th day without purging and I’m 3 kilos heavier than my purging weight. I hope it goes away soon. Let’s just hanging there 🤕

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

It might not go away 'soon', but it will eventually. That's the thing you need to remember. Be realistic about your expectations and it will be easier :) Love and strength to you!!

[@TurnToPage_394_]

Thank you! It’s my biggest struggle too after more than 20 years of bulimia. It’s the one thing that’s makes me fall back every time. It’s frustrating but I know now there will come a day it will change. I’m so tired of this life, i know i’m gonna pull through this time. I’m so done with it that i can keep a healthy eating schedule for a couple of months in a row now, i am so happy, but the edema is terrible.

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

I understand and I feel you completely. It’s a terrifying and overwhelming thought that the edema will never go away. I just had to constantly ask myself: what’s more terrible? Being bulimic for the rest of my life (I’d rather die than go through that again), or pushing through and seeing this edema through until it has vanished? Try and remind yourself of all the wonderful things that will come along with NOT being bulimic…. Eg not having to lie to everyone, having more money, better health, ability to focus, friendships, love, etc 🥰 stay strong. It’s going to be worth every ounce of struggle I promise xxxxxx

[@irenhakobyan6561]

I can't thank you enough for this video, I got edema and I'm crying every single day because it's so painful, I can't even walk and my ED voice told me that it will never go away, so I'm trying to be patient and wait ..thank you so so much for this , I will pray for your health always ❤️

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are in so much pain. Perhaps if it is this extreme, you should see a doctor - just to check everything is OK with your kidneys... Sending you love and strength and TONNES of compassion. You can do it

[@irenhakobyan6561]

@@charlyemmalouise8929 thank you so much for your support and answer ❤️❤️ in my country we don't have doctors who understand what is having an eating disorder , or recovery from an chronic self vomiting..but my intuition told me that everything will be okay, I just have to wait , and be patient, and rest as much as my body asking me..thank you so much for everything, I will pray for your health always angel ✨

[@owtsideperspective3588]

Thank you for sharing I can relate

[@xxgamingnekoxx]

I needed this I started recovering 3 days ago after relapsing badly . I look so swollen and fat and disgusting and it's so hard to not purge..

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

I am pretty sure it's in your head - I'm sure you don't look as swollen and fat to others as you do to yourself. I promise! Keep going with it. It's not gonna last forever and it's a fight really worth fighting!

[@stephaniwinzeler25]

how are you now

[@itzspoons827]

Thanks for the video, glad to see you're recovered :D I'm in quite a struggle ngl and I just really want a definite answer, I'm diagnosed with anorexia and body dysmorphia and I've restored weight a bit. I'm fairly sure I'm secretly bulimic though however as I have a day of binging (where I often eat 3k - 4k calories at a time), and then purge by fasting the next few days and then repeat the cycle. Then again I'm also somewhat curious whether or not I have rumination disorder as instead of vomiting after I eat, I guilty regurgitate the food back up and re-chew it to get the taste back but the same calories absorbed of course. I've noticed that despite this period being my skinniest point in my life, my face as never looked more fat and round, is this because of the binging and regurgitating (swelling of the glands), cause like my body is literally stick thin where my ribcage is visible, yet my face is so chubby looking, and I literally used to have quite the opposite years back when I was a healthy weight. It just causes so much anxiety and I hate it, I really just want to gain weight and quite honestly a bit of fat on my body/limbs, but my face looks like it already is fat :(

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

Hey! Thanks for your comment and I’m so happy that you are getting something from my videos :) Would you mind editing your comment to remove the numbers as even to me they are a bit triggering 🙈 Regarding the facial swelling, I never had rumination disorder, but before I became bulimic, during the time when I was very much anorexic and very, very tiny in the body, I used to chew and spit mountains of food every single day. During this period my face swelled a lot. But not the bulimia gland swelling, it was I think an enlargement of my facial muscles because of all of the chewing on food! I think it looked more noticeable because in comparison to my body my face was very round. With bulimia it was more of a puffiness due to gland enlargement under the jawline and water retention in the face. You can make a full recovery from this hell, and look like your natural, proportioned self again. It won’t happen overnight. It can take years. But relative to the time you have left to live this life, it’s really nothing. At all, a drop in the ocean. One step at a time. I promise xxxxxxx

[@itzspoons827]

@@charlyemmalouise8929 okay thank you, I’m really trying everything to stop the nasty habits and start actually living again and enjoying what life has to offer :)

[@porrnesianparrapioslostair3128]

I was bulimic then developed anorexia.. ...but my ed voice told it was better that atleast i looked SKINNY...i relapsed into bulimia and have been binging around 1500-4000 calories from the past 5 days and purging and i have gained 3 kgs AND I FEEL TERRIBLE I FEEL AWFUL UGLY DESPICABLE PIECE OF UTTER TRASH I WANT THIS TO STOP BUT TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT IT'S GONNA TAKE TIME AND I REALLLYYYYY DON'T WANNA DO IT AGAIN

[@II-xy4ys]

Thank you

[@victoriaevans2442]

Did you experience the water retention returning when you would have relapses or slips in recovery? I've been purge free for a month and just relapsed and binge and purged all day for five days in a row and I'm terrified the painful water retention that had just settled will return now.

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

In small amounts yes. If I slipped up once or twice, I would be puffy for a couple of days. But I took measures to address it such as drinking coconut water, electrolytes, potassium etc. Also there is just no comparing the long-term depletions caused by years of daily purging to just once or twice. Don't stress too much about slip ups. Pay them no attention and just keep going.

[@Andy-vu1zs]

Hello Charly i wanted to ask you something. I’ve been in recovery from a 10 year long ED, 3 of those I had bulimia, the rest was under eating and over exercising. I’ve been in recovery for 6 months now, following my hunger and stopped exercising. The edema for me has been here even before recovery but it was mild. When I chose recovery the edema amplified over night, now it’s pitting and it won’t go away. I’ve seen multiple doctors and they can’t relate the edema to anything but recovery. My question is, did you have pitting edema?? I’ve gained a substantial amount of weight also, have new stretch marks, but the thing that bothers me the most is the edema. I can relate to you saying that I don’t have to look at myself in the mirror to feel the edema and weight my body has gained. I loved your video.

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

Hi Andy :) what do you mean pitting edema?

[@Andy-vu1zs]

@@charlyemmalouise8929 meaning when you press on your skin leaves a pit, an indent, and it’s slow to react.

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

@@Andy-vu1zs I experienced that but it wasn’t severe. Check out Kayla Rose - her Bulimia recovery channel is great and she suffered from really awful edema of this kind! I feel for you, I really do, the water retention and swelling makes recovery so hard! But it IS temporary. You won’t have it forever. Recovery though, can be yours forever :) xoxoxoxox

[@Andy-vu1zs]

@@charlyemmalouise8929 Thank you Charly, you’re great. ❤️❤️❤️I have checked Kayla’s page. I will hang in there! ⭐️

[@shalomogunde6963]

How long did it take for you to notice a difference in your face

[@redeemingthebroken]

does anyone know how long the bloat lasts i’m on month 2 of purge free and the most worst thing is this! i can’t wear any of my clothes over the bloat. i want to know tho if i’m doing bad by eating a 1200 to 1500 calorie a day diet. i’m not dieting just eating about that a day. i eat two meals a day and a snack usually before bed when hungry. i don’t want to stuff myself to where i feel sick

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

I’m not a doctor but at least to my experience and limited knowledge, that is NOT enough food to heal your body. Water retention can last months if not years - it’s different for everyone

[@redeemingthebroken]

thank you i’m doing my best i guess what my biggest question is either way i’m gonna stick with it. i want to know once bloat goes away does weight balance out or is most of it gonna stay i’m up to 8 pounds and now i’m on month 3

[@redeemingthebroken]

i also am not under weight i always managed a normal bmi and been a little over i’m 130 to 135 and i’m 5 foot 3. i just don’t want to get over weight that’s what is awful

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

@@redeemingthebroken I understand, but I think that being bulimic for the rest of your life is infinitely more awful than being overweight. besides, it is probably unlikely that you will remain overweight! Maybe you would benefit from looking up some content related to 'health at every size' - it's a beautiful and very helpful concept :)

[@redeemingthebroken]

thanks i will i’m very upset with myself cause i pretty much did it all i wast just strict purging. i have calorie restricted my whole life and was always working out eating real clean with my fitness pal apps. then on cheat days for last 10 years purged. the only time i didn’t was when i was pregnant and then went back to it when i had to diet again. then i always was bloated and didn’t know why so i resulted to miralax thinking it was healthy but didn’t realize my body was the problem and it would mess it up more. i pray it gets better i cut all restriction in December, exercise, laxative, and purging as well.

[@vlb28]

I've just started recovery and the swelling and water retention is horrendous. I hate it but I know it's doing me good. How long does it last? Xxx

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

Vicki Baldwin yes love - it will be. I understand and I have been there. For me it took 6 months to a year to first start reducing and then completely go away. Hang in there. It’s worth it!!!

[@stephaniwinzeler25]

how are you now

[@redeemingthebroken]

i didn’t know if this was normal to still feel bloated like this it’s been 8 weeks and a lot of people say there’s went away after a month

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

You are you and everyone’s experience is different. Try to forget what everyone else is saying and drop all temptations to compare. My water retention stuck around for many many months. It is temporary though and will go eventually, provided you stick at recovery!

[@kamal4948]

Hay meghan did your weight returne to previous weight

[@redeemingthebroken]

i’m now on 6 months recovered and i’m 5 pounds heavier so some of water retention has left but i’m not sure what it’s from. i have been eating very healthy but doing lower carb. not keto or anything but i noticed if i eat a lot of pastas breads potatoes i swell up bad. i’m incorporating good carbs like fruits, quinoa, sweet potato, protein chick pea pastas but not as a huge quantity. definitely not being restrictive just sick of feeling so uncomfortable

[@redeemingthebroken]

i started recovery at 127 went up to 135 and now back down to 132. before eating disorder i was always at around 129 130 so i guess i’m heavier but i am older so not gonna beat myself up. i never was under weight with eating disorder. bulimia was a way i guess to eat what i wanted certain days and i was just a hardcore dieter rest of days. i def feel better not having to worry about that anymore. was such a nuisance

[@stephaniwinzeler25]

how are you now?

[@tanjabusic4327]

Im in 6 months in recovery. Edema is better now. But in my PMS comes edema back in terrible way. Its normal? Tenkju

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

Yes PMS usually brings edema! For me too! You can work on your overall health/nutrition/stress and the PMS will improve, and water retention will be less. For people with long term ED's, often we have depleted progesterone which intensifies PMS. A symptom of low progesterone is a shorter than average cycle. Mind are still around 23 days

[@thatonekid2982]

I’ve been 28 days clean but I still have bulimia face is there any remedy or maybe or way I can get rid of them faster I am feeling hopeless

[@Maya-ck5ox]

Hi, I was just wondering if your bulimia face is now gone? How are you? I am going through the same bulimia face and I am twrrified as you were... so if you could reply I will be grateful!!! Hope you are well today!!!

[@thatonekid2982]

@@Maya-ck5ox I’m still bulimic on and off and I’m 21 days clean now. I am working on losing weight properly and yes my face has definitely gotten less swollen. Recovery from things especially things such as bulimia is not cold turkey but more of a downward trend in binging and purging. So from 9 months ago I’ve relapsed plenty of times but I haven’t given up and have gotten better as a result. So just be patient with yourself and don’t give up things will get better.

[@Maya-ck5ox]

Thank you so much for your reply!!! It gives me hope! You too be strong and lets remember if other people have managed to stop so can we!!! And we will, ok!! The price we pay is too high! Wish you luck and be blessed! Thanks again!!!!!!!!!

[@stephaniwinzeler25]

can you have edema with out gaining any water weight ? pls respond

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

edema is water weight but IDK really I am not a doctor! sorry

[@stephaniwinzeler25]

@@charlyemmalouise8929 my face is swelled up but i gained only maybe 2-3 pounds that’s why i’m confused. how much water weight did you gain before you saw it in your face or was your face already puffy bc of bullimia, also did you exercise during recover

[@agnieszkaaga7536]

How much did you gain ?? My weight increase day by day. I dont know...its water or fat ? :/ :/ i dont eat under 2000 a day.

[@cinthiaquinde5419]

I already gained 6 kilos in 1 month of ' anorexia 'recovery'' (actually I was purging by execersie, laxatives, etc) so I want to start REAL recovery but I'm afraid of gain more weight day by day

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

I don't want to go into numbers because it can be triggering... But I gained a substantial amount of weight. It's normal and I needed it. I'm used to it now and more and more comfortable in and with myself every day

[@kamal4948]

How long it take ti returne your previous weight

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

Not comfortable answering this bcos we should focus on HEALTH not weight. My digestion, thyroid function, hormones and all of that took years to restore. weight came somewhere in the middle

[@agnieszkaaga7536]

Hi :) did you ever lost your period because of bulimia?

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

Actually not when I was bulimic! When anorexic yes, for more than 2 years. But bulimia no. Strange cos I was a very low weight a lot of the time

[@laurabidior5856]

Pls can you tell me how long before uou saw diffrence in your face from water retention ?

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

this was years ago now so I can't say for sure but a year maybe? feels like a long time but in comparison to the rest of your life is nothing

[@rebeccas.5207]

3 minutes in and you’ve discussed rinsing and the number of times you purged a day and my ED brain is *triggered* asl. Kinda unnecessary to throw these details out there.

[@r.2443]

… that’s the point of the video… maybe you should watch something else if other peoples’ discussion and details of their ED are a problem for you to hear. Not trying to be mean, but people aren’t responsible for what “triggers”you, fyi.

[@charlyemmalouise8929]

Hey, I’m sorry if you were triggered. But the point of my videos and what I think makes them unique, is the brutal honesty about all that bulimia actually entails. Hope you are doing ok and sending support! Xxx

[@claudinestone6152]

If honesty and transparency about your disease triggers you, please avoid watching videos like this until you are more stable. Many people need to hear about what they will go through and to be understanding and empathetic to those with this illness and find this incredibly helpful.