"Sleep / Awake" a poem by Westley Nash

“Sleep / Awake” is a poem I wrote back in 2009 during a brief reflective moment of what was a very troubled time in my life. I’d been suffering from both depression and anxiety for about a year, shifting from one to the other like a ship listing heavily from side to side on a stormy ocean. Quite honestly it was a living hell! I could not find any balance. One moment I was stressed and overwhelmed, the next I was drained of all my energy. First minute I’m worrying about every little thing under the sun, the second I wasn’t even worried about the fact that I hadn’t even eaten in 3 days. There were some weeks when I struggled to sleep any longer than a few minutes, while others I just couldn’t wake up at all; nor did I really want to...
But even my sleep was not a true sanctuary, for it was full of so many stress dreams and nightmares! I woke up sweating and trembling more times than I can remember. It was like the demons that hounded my awareness every second would just never leave me in peace. Pushing and pulling me to destruction!.. I was awake but not really!.. I was asleep but not really!.. I felt trapped in no man’s land for so long that could not remember what it was like to feel any other way. So this poem is my outpouring of thought and emotion about that experience, probably the only balanced moment my heart and mind had known during that entire 12 months. So if you ever find yourself gripped by such intense anxiety and depression that you cannot live your day to day life it’s important to be honest with yourself. To understand that it’s okay not to be able to do it alone, it’s okay to admit we are struggling, and it’s okay to ask for help when we really need it. Consult your GP / Doctor, contact the mental health helplines or maybe just reach out to a friend, but please don’t suffer in silence, you deserve so much better.
Best Wishes
Westley xx
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[@PiyaliSenguptaSings]

Reaching out for help is the first step and a big one. You are so right Westley. Beautiful poem. My heart goes out to you dear friend. Sending you a big hug.

[@WestleyNash]

Thank you 😊 Yes, to be trapped in a powerless state can bring so much misery and struggle... Its important to see ourselves worthy of help and support 😊

[@BlueIris92]

💙

[@jeanakedpoetry]

Your poem describes this issue so well and I do like the picture you have used.

[@WestleyNash]

Thank you 😊 Yes I wanted to create a kind of split sense of self, trapped between two states of awareness. I’m really glad you like it 😊🎩

[@poembyselly5864]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💙💙

[@WestleyNash]

😊🎩

[@zeno476]

wow so good poem i loved it

[@WestleyNash]

Thank you very much 😊