What do stay-at-home moms even do all day?

[@lisan8611]

I think a lot of people who do not have kids really underestimate the mental load that can go into this. Like how long would you stay at a job where your boss would scream at you for 30 min from the top of their lungs every time you bring them a wrong shaped toast? and big HAHA for those people who think that their child would never do that. Or at a job where every time you use a bathroom someone is outside crying at you to hurry up and banging on the door? )) Or if you need to go grocery shopping but then you spend 40min trying to convince them to put their shoes on and now it is kinda late to go anywhere. Or trying to remember where you put socks to and finding them in a fridge because you only got 3h sleep for the last week, because your child decided to wake up 6 times per night for no apparent reason. Like mental capacity to actually do stuff goes down a lot. Caring for a child 24/7 takes a lot of energy, so even if you have free time it is usually spent recuperating.

[@CayleeMullins]

Something that’s also very different in terms of working vs staying home is that you are replaceable at a job most times, but definitely not as a parent. And that creates a lot of pressure to parent “right”, always be productive, etc. And personally, having to wait months or years to see the results of my hard work in parenting makes it much harder than if I were to just be earning a paycheck every couple weeks!!

[@fannierioux-gauthier5057]

I wanna add (as a stay-at-home mom too), our "job" never ends. If baby wakes up 5 times in the night, you have to go, during the weekend and vacations, you have to take care of your child. The fact that you never have a "break" is what I find difficult. I only have one 6 month old for now, so I assume the no-break feeling gets worse with more kids 😂 BUT, I wouldn't do it any other way, I love seeing him grow ❤

[@youtubeacc]

No need for the air quotes, sahm is a real job 100%.

[@Arkiegirl26]

oh man this...I am mom from the second I wake up to the second I go to sleep. My 3 year old co-sleeps, so all night she's in my hair with her hands, she needs a drink, she needs to go potty, she has a bad dream, she has leg aches, the list goes on and on and on. Put all of that on top of any time you go somewhere, any vacation, any "break" you may have, your kids go too and there you are being mom. That's a side that is NEVER talked about. It's a 24/7/365 day job that NEVER ends. I love it, but dang!

[@naorivas]

Exactly

[@youtubeacc]

Being a stay at home mom is no joke! Hardest job ever. At least the moms that get to go to a traditional job, get mandated breaks 😂 honestly sometimes I think about my husband off at work having an hour lunch break, chatting with co workers, the nice silent 30 min commute each way 😅

[@elliegault]

Yes, the social media moms who's husbands are able to stay home really got me. Like it didn't cross my mind and made me feel so helpless, then I realized she had her husband every day to share the load. Such a relief to see someone talk about this!

[@ameliaduden488]

It's something I have to remind myself of often!

[@jacintasalt8731]

Yup. Constantly cleaning and distracting a toddler while trying to cook meals and setting up a new home. Coffee? Half drunk, left cold anywhere on a high enough surface.

[@DanikaBevirt]

Yes to having to put everything on tall surfaces! My house is more messy now just in having to keep everything out of reach.

[@Arkiegirl26]

You leave it cold? I heat it up a millions times before my first cup gets drunk! 🤣

[@jessicadrawsthings]

This is the MOST realistic description of motherhood I'VE EVER SEEN and I THANK YOU!!!

[@jennyrd4789]

As a SAHM, you said everything that I'm thinking. Appreciate you!

[@Psych333]

I’m a stay at home mom, but I also work from home while I have my two year old 24/7. It’s extremely isolating and I only understand that when I walk outside of my house and look up at the sky. I think to myself, “The world goes on out here, while I am inside the house working and keeping the child, basically, alive.” The constant silent internal stress that we carry is beyond many people who do not go through similar situations. I could snap a picture a day where I smile big while my baby gives me a kiss on a cheek, and everyone would believe that my life is so amazing. One picture takes a half a second, but somehow people create an entire life story. I don’t remember the last time I took a bath and felt relaxed. I take a bath now so I can shave my legs sitting down, because I’m so tired to even stand in the shower to shave my legs. Maybe I’ll just stop shaving them…I guess that’s an option!

[@DoseOfDiana5]

Thank u for making this so realistic. I’m 23 and been a sahm for almost 4 years, and I see so many of those videos of moms doing it all making it seem easy, and it makes us have unrealistic expectations and goals. It’s very hard and rare for me to have a good day full of laundry and cooking and buying groceries . Thank you

[@emmyneddy3565]

I’m currently 8-weeks pregnant and finishing grad school. Then I’ll take a year off to be a SAHM starting in June! This video was very helpful to align my expectations with reality.

[@genevieveevans7307]

Finally a mum who doesn't paint this perfect picture like so much of social media does! I have a 3 year old boy with autism and I am pregnant with our second. I'm actually excited for the newborn stage because toddlers are no joke 😂

[@whitemageFFXI]

As a new stay at home mom, I feel like I never get anything done because of constant interruptions. I look back on the day and its no wonder it looks like I'm lazy. Maybe I did "play " with my kid all day, but its because they don't leave you alone for one second lol. Its like the Dark Playground where you're technically playing but you feel stressed and guilty the whole time because there's other things that need to be getting done.

[@KateLisgar]

I just want to add that "playing" all day with your children is a lot of effort and requires structure and constant support. Daycare workers also "play" all day, and it is no easy task. So you're working a s*** ton.

[@dawnkelly4249]

Not related to the content at all (although I love it!), but just had to say how GORGEOUS your hair is! 😍

[@veronicaelise5120]

I love being a SAHM, it’s so much better than the job I had before. The reason for that is I like the freedom to make decisions for our family, and I’m way more passionate about the goal of raising children well than I was about my job. That being said I work the hardest I’ve ever worked in my life and I get burned out so fast😅 like you said, even doing the bare minimum of keeping children alive and in clean living conditions is a lot of work. Laundry itself always involves a huge pile of poopy or stained clothing that need to be scrubbed by hand. When you’re passionate about parenting though, you’re doing way more than the bare minimum and it’s so much work. Add dietary issues I have on top of that, and the time I spend cooking food just so I can eat is insane. And I like to get my girls involved as much as I can, but that will also make it take way longer and leave a much bigger mess after. And then it usually ends in stained clothing too😅 it’s a never ending cycle

[@dariana4247]

You did a wonderful job in putting it to words without taking the away the importance and intentionality that goes behind it. 👏🏼

[@darbymichelle]

Took me an hour and a half to fold put away two loads of laundry this morning 😂

[@brittanybreeden6954]

It’s been awesome to see how much you’ve grown as a person, mother, and wife over the past several years. As a mom of 2 with a similar age gap, I’ve always identified with the struggles you’ve shared about motherhood, marriage, and life in general. I feel like I’m coming out the other side, but I’m not quite there yet; seeing your more recent videos has been both refreshing and inspiring.

[@avcade21]

Love how realistic his video is, I absolutely agree, I was home with her until she turned 2. I only have one child, she'll turn 3 in a couple of months, but when she's home I can't get anything done, I am more like her assistant and trying to keep myself alive by getting to sleep/eat/drink water in the meantime. She does not play alone, needs constant attention, it is exhausting as we have no help.

[@HopePhotoG]

Thank you for this!! I have 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 boys ..I have multiple health issues fibro mcs cfs scoliosis ddd osteoarthritis pmdd etc..my husband also chronic migraines and we have no other help. It can be so hard especially mistakenly comparing ourselves to others online..we have to step back and remember we don't see the whole picture. Appreciate you're honesty, it's how we often feel like we are just barely surviving. 😅😂

[@Ms-om3cv]

I love, love, love how often you post! I think you're the only one I click on as soon as I see a notification 😅 Just cuz I relate so much to your style as a mom. And I love your unnedited vlogs even if I don't particulary like them as a genre. So thanks for your work over here. It really helps me as a mom of two. 🤎

[@jessicadrawsthings]

Yes! The realism is what's missing from some of these mom vlogs! I draw for my sanity, but couldn't at all for the first few months. Now I do it when kids are sleeping or in childcare. We have no family support, so part-time childcare is so necessary and we are lucky to have it.

[@rchhtt5210]

I have an 18 month old and today is the first day sense I gave birth that i decided to sew again. Lol. I do knit a ton during my daughters naps. Audio books and reading after she goes to bed are my me time. I try to read and knit everyday because it fills my cup. The rest of the day is play time with my daughter and chores/cooking.

[@evapoole4514]

Being a stay at home mom was the best thing is did. 🥰 It was definitely hard and exhausting…but so worth it. ❤️❤️❤️

[@MalinaCC]

This was so interesting! Thank you for sharing. Also unrelated but your hair has been looking fantastic! Can you share what hair products you’ve been using?

[@katielottie9445]

I call going into the office getting a break from work! Aka looking after my 1 year old 😂

[@jeanettekakareka]

You brought up one of my biggest considerations first! How long things take! I've been slowly trying to detach from this absolutely unnecessary and anxious belief that I NEEEEED to be places on time/early. Or to even do things at all! It's been so ingrained in me since childhood, but to consciously separate from it I decided is vital before I become a mom. I think anyone else who grew up anxious can understand. 😅 I don't want to give myself the stress as a new mom, and mostly I don't want to pass on that unnecessary unease to my kids! P.S. Loved this video, thank you!

[@Jessie90ish]

lol beautifully articulated. About the crafts- I don’t do that stuff. If my son was going to be enthralled- sure. But I’m not bothering because I know it wouldn’t last more than 2 mins. I also think that he thinks he is bringing ME to the park. He’s not into that either. Figuring out what your kid is even into is a whole other level of difficult. Like getting a picky eater to eat.

[@franziskalukkes5242]

Your videos have been so relatable and relaxing at the same time recently, I really wanna thank you for the work you put into them! ❤ You just know how to put what I feel and struggle with as a mother, into words!!

[@rbb3386]

thanks for the insights, I feel like much of this applies to non stay at home mums too

[@mollianderson7792]

I can totally relate to all of this! I’ve been watching your channel since Rook and my oldest were born and had my second at the same time you did! We are definitely very similar in terms of lifestyle, struggles, and day to day living. I just finished reading Hunt, Gather, Parent, though and it is totally rocking my perception of parenthood and what life with kids could look like and it seems like a book you would really enjoy and one I would LOVE to hear your perspective on.

[@Theupoy]

My baby just woke up from his nap so I'll just say YES - to everything you said, so well put!! 😊 I love your content!

[@justsomelady8620]

So, I have 5 kids ages 3 to 11 years old. I’m a SAHM and we homeschool. Something I’m struggling with is teaching my kids(according to abilities) to clean up after themselves. I have to be OK with them taking 4 times the time it takes me to complete the same chore. Also, it takes a while before they become “good” at these chores too. My home is in a constant state of imperfection. And that’s OK!

[@shaunagoralski2610]

Loving seeing you upload more!

[@tatyanab.6797]

I am new to your channel and not a parent yet (but terrified enough to be one just after raising a puppy experience :)) ) and I love your beautiful yet realistic content and such good wording. A I guess an illustrative “one day in life of a mother” vlog would be a perfect addition to this :))

[@nadiaaguilar2004]

Love that you’re sponsored by hiya! I use it for my son too. He loves them.

[@EllieFarrugia]

Thank you for making this video! I'm a SAHM with a 20 month old, I feel constant mum & wife guilt for not being able to do everything. Most days it does look like I'm lazy because my daughter is very "clingy" (I don't like that word but I can't think of another word to describe it), as soon as I get up to try to do anything she's immediately at my feet crying wanting to be picked up or just wanting me to play with her. My husband works from home 3 days a week, but he is working, he can't watch her while I get stuff done (other than a quick toilet break etc). I get so frustrated by not being able to get anything done and then the mum guilt sets in because she just wants to play with me, but I'm sick of living in a pig sty!

[@Robohead-z6z]

I wonder if they have sling for toddlers

[@joiedevivre894]

@@Robohead-z6znot a sling necessarily but they do have carriers up to a good weight Can be worn frontwards or on the back My daughter started big so I have one

[@gogetyourgun1490]

My grandma was a stay at home caretaker when both my parents were working. My MIL was a stay at home mom when I lived with her for 5 years. In the time I had a fulltime job, those women worked a lot more than me. They can't clock out like me. They're on call 24/7. No PTO, no sick days, nothing.

[@marthasmusings5133]

I just wanted to say, your hair looks phenomenal in this video, Ash!

[@nicolelemos5056]

That only happens when they have hired help, family near by, or their children can take care of themselves like no more diapers LOL I’ve started to write down a few things like do a load of laundry, run the dishwasher, vacuum and if I do those things I feel accomplished. Instead of feeling like nothing is accomplished at the end of the day. It makes me feel better!

[@yanka1650]

Girl i truly love you! Ive been waiting for someone to make a video like this! ♥️

[@isalinebise2587]

Thank you, I needed this video!

[@elianalane]

Feeling seen! ❤

[@Arkiegirl26]

Add in Homeschooling...it's a WHOLE other ballgame!

[@naorivas]

Too true.

[@afrohuman4681]

I’m going to send this video to anyone asking me what a stay at home mom does😅it’s exhausting to keep explaining.

[@lifewiththepages]

I literally feel like I’m just a maid, and not a mother most days.

[@jordynaden6338]

Been a SAHM for 3 years…still don’t really know what I do all day 🫠

[@madnessarcade7447]

I don’t think being a stay at home mom now is any different than it was in the 50s

[@Ichigo2058]

some days my mental load transforms me into a ticking time bomb. But I explode multiple times xD

[@Kaitlynslaymaker1943]

Where are the stay - at - home dads at? Nobody talks about those?

[@melittatokes6056]

Love you❤

[@Robohead-z6z]

The kids could set up their own play activities. It’s call free play and kids are good at it. Also we humans didn’t evolve to raise children by ourselves. Like in hunter gather societies the whole community helps out. I plan on having no children, but we should all help out the mothers.

[@florencejoy5209]

Yes free play is the only way you get to clean and cook. But after that the kids want attention. So there is no me time.

[@ficklequeen]

How do you get Hiya in Canada?

[@AshleyEmbers]

I live close to the border so I can just run down and grab it

[@CreativeCat879]

I don’t think they are lazy but they definitely glorify themselves way too much