What Does Bipolar I Feel Like?

What can bipolar 1 feel like to someone that has it, and this is going to be hard to describe fully because as you know, everyone is different. Based on my experience bipolar 1 can feel good at times because mania can be a bit euphoric. This feeling doesn’t always last very long, but when my patients are sort of ramping up to a manic episode, they can struggle to see it as a problem, and feel good about how productive they are being and are enjoying the energy. I have also had patients and viewers tell me that mania can often be really uncomfortable, almost like you want to crawl out of your skin. If we find ourselves having a mixed episode (when we have both mania and depression at the same time) we can feel irritable and uncomfortable. This can also happen if someone stops us from doing what we want when we are manic or sort of gets in the way of us engaging in manic behavior. I have had this happen in sessions when I notice a patient is manic and try to intervene.. They can be really upset and quick to anger. So know that while mania can feel good at times, that’s not always the case. Just like any mental illness we have to ask questions and seek to understand what it’s like for the person in our life who has bipolar disorder. That way we can better understand them and their experience.
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[@zoepoole2342]

When i come back down i always feel like i now have to clean up a party that i wasnt part of.

[@marirosado334]

Zoe Poole YES, you hit the nail right on the head!

[@WoofYoungFreesoul]

Holy shit. You hit the nose on the head

[@agnesm_23]

Oh and the shame..

[@Passiion_Fruiit]

“Who made all this mess ⁉️”

[@kateskinner6852]

That’s such a good analogy!

[@Lauren-us7ju]

When I’m manic, I feel like I am on drugs. Imagine if you took a ton of adderall or way too much caffeine or cocaine. I have so much energy, I’m ready to drop everything and move to Greece like in Mama Mia. It feels like everything in my life is falling apart, and it’s all my fault because I’m the one who made the mess. When I’m depressed, I feel nothing. Just a void inside of me. Despair and loathing and hopelessness and anger. But most of all, bipolar 1 feels unfair. Unfair that I’m 20 and have to take 3 medications just to live a normal life. But the thing is, the medicine helps SO much, and I am living a pretty successful life. The most important thing with bipolar is identifying it, because then you can treat it. Bipolar is no reason not to live a fulfilling life.

[@alizefowler7343]

Lauren Elizabeth i resonated with every word!!! What are those three meds if you don’t me asking?

[@143RRodriguez]

Lauren Elizabeth wow related to this, 21 here going through some things similar!

[@captainswan3079]

I relate so much to this

[@Tmcsinger91]

Lauren Elizabeth same here I can really relate to that

[@eleutheria1058]

@@alizefowler7343 Hello there. Although it's nice to hear of a med you may not be familiar with, what works wonders for one person may not even affect another. Or even worse yet exacerbate it. My med regime has changed so many times over the years. Something new that worked well for awhile later no longer did so. Hope since your post this point in time finds you well!

[@Saint_Roscoe]

I’m hesitant to post my experiences with Bipolar 1, as I’m not one to be vulnerable to strangers. However, if this can help even one other person understand, empathize, or commiserate, it is worth it. For me, the ramp up to a manic episode is relieving. Usually, I’ve been in a slump for anywhere between two weeks and two months. And that slump consists of lethargy, depression, suicidal thoughts, and many other symptoms. So when the ramp up to manic hits, I’m finally able to clean my room, shower more than once or twice a week, and go out of the house (current pandemic pending). I feel rejuvenated and empowered to do things I’ve been stressing about for weeks. When the manic episodes hit, I stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning, playing games, watching videos, or being actively unproductive. I wake up at 8 after usually 5 hours of sleep, and sometimes do exactly the same thing I was doing before I went to bed. Sometimes I’ll organize my room at 2 in the morning, or start a complicated task of alphabetizing some collectibles I have. During this time, I’m super excitable. Everything is a great idea and everything “is gonna be awesome”...and then I fall. I’ve heard of people drifting down from their manic episodes, but I feel like Wiley Coyote running off of a cliff, looking down, knowing what is about to happen, then plummeting. I can see it coming and nothing I do stops it. I feel everything I worked so hard to accomplish during the manic period fall from my grasp as I plunge into a dark sea of self loathing and shame. I feel like a failure because all of my grand plans didn’t come to fruition. I cancel plans, hide in my room, and only leave when necessary. And thus the cycle repeats. It’s always a different amount of time, it seems. Seasons affect it, getting worse in about October and rising in March. But even in the middle of summer, it can hit. And sometimes both depression and manic hit at the same time. I have so much energy to do absolutely nothing. I’m like a battery that’s been left in the recharger; brimming with energy, yet nothing to power. Don’t get me wrong, there is usually loads to do, like housework, school work, side projects, etc., but I can’t channel this surplus of energy into any of them. This can be worse than the depression or manic episodes. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 4 years ago. I’ve had symptoms for much longer. I’ve been hospitalized 3 times, all within a year of each other, with 2 within the same month, each for about a week, with the last stay lasting 2 weeks. I’ve been on all sorts of different meds and attended different therapies (DBT teaches good things, but can be a bit hokey at times). I’m currently 4 months sober of suicidal ideations and have been on lithium for 3 months. I’m visiting with my therapist twice a month for about 2 hours a session. I’ve made it this far and it hasn’t been easy. I hope others find strength in this or find an understanding of the struggles that come with Bipolar 1. I hope this doesn’t get buried at the bottom of KZbin comments. Thank you for reading.

[@jaspermartin7444]

bumping so it doesn't get buried! That was a super helpful description, thank you very much for sharing such a intimate part of yourself. It does help a lot to real what it is like, in real terms. Hope you are well and doing fine!

[@davisperron4260]

I also have bipolar 1 disorder, but my experience is much different. I’m only 20 and I have only had 2 manic episodes within the same 2 months, but I only experienced symptoms of manic episodes about 2 months leading up to the episodes I would say. I never experienced suicidal thoughts, but I was involuntarily admitted to a hospital because of how out of control I was. I’m now on medication and living life completely as I did before I had symptoms of bipolar disorder.

[@LoverofSunflowernBees]

It’s okay it’s why we have fake names on here. Most people don’t take the time to look up people. Who has time for that..

[@carrie3206]

You literally described my family member who has been diagnosed with Bipolar 1. They are taking Lamictal

[@OopsyDopsy]

WOW

[@queenbecks9913]

I’m coming down from a manic episode, and I just “planned” my entire future and choreographed 4 hiphop routines in one night.

[@beckel3593]

Wow damn..

[@justarandomfan2421]

Damn

[@graziellazuazo7457]

OMG SAMEEE!!!!! AND I ALSOO WHEN TO THE GYM AND TRAINE FOR LIKE 4 HOURS LMAOO

[@woahhowmediocre3860]

I wrote 3 songs, made some cupcakes, and bought $300 of recording equipment

[@nightmeds3339]

bought almost $200 of costumes for the renaissance faire and before that I bought almost $200 of bowfishing equipment, but also before THAT I bought almost $1000 of gaming equipment. I’m… in deep shit.

[@101Monieluv]

I’m in tears right now reading all of these comments. I was very recently diagnosed. And even though the stats show that there are over 2 million Americans dealing with this, I was somehow feeling very alone. And most of all having the worst time being able to express what it feels like to others. These comments let me know that I’m not alone.

[@kenlau7954]

I just got diagnosed too recently. You are definitely not alone, please remember that.

[@jarnaybrown9117]

I know the feeling I found out a month ago and I have so many mixed emotions how are you now

[@christopherwalters3320]

I felt like a alien all my life till I came across bipolar disorder. Now I am finding people I can relate to. It feels really nice.

[@Naomijmaylone]

I was also just diagnosed. The doctors can’t decide if I have bipolar, depression with psychotic symptoms, or schizo affective disorder. They have me on invega respridone shot. Any thoughts? I don’t think I get mania, ever.

[@christopherwalters3320]

@@Naomijmaylone that seems a little complicated but yea if you never get mania you might not be bipolar but I also know people experience bipolar in different ways. Like I’m usually hyper manic or angry. And other times I feel like I can be laughing about something funny and just switch to feeling insanely pissed out of no where. I rarely get super depressed. Only time I ever got suicidal and tried to kill my self was when I was in ssris, mood stablizers, but busbar made me really unhinged after a while and I basically all but stopped sleeping.

[@peacelovesalome8088]

I am a person with bipolar 1 and am currently coming down from a manic episode. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster that never ends. You can generally start to feel when your about to either become depressed/manic if you know what your signs are. I can tell I'm becoming depressed with my lack of wanting to do things that last week were easy to do but how seem impossible.

[@laraparks7018]

I am curious as to if your triggered by outside pressures when you swing from one extreme to the other or do your symptoms manifest from inside you, irrespective of outside influence? I've been watching my patterns closely and I am curious of others experience I hope that this makes sense

[@peacelovesalome8088]

@@laraparks7018 I believe its mainly internal for me. This last couple of months nothing has really changed in my environment. I have actually started to do healthy things like exercising, gardening and painting. Trying to keep myself active in away and now it's like another me inside not wanting to enjoy anything or keep motivated.

[@Katimorton]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience!!! I hope this helps more people understand what it can feel like. xoxo

[@Tismhag]

How fortunate are those of us who can recognise triggers/symptoms.

[@JessicaFreda62]

❤️

[@cheyennedurfee8563]

When I'm having a manic episode and a depressive episode at the same time, I feel like I want to cry and laugh at the same time. It's hard to explain to people why you're crying hysterically... I tell people its just hormones and for a long time, I really believed I was crazy. One time I had a manic episode that lasted a whole month, within that month my friends became overly fond of me and now they are disappointed because I'm not that person.

[@eluvshesaid8469]

There not your real friends if they can't accept you how you come. Respecting differences is part of being accepted by those who are worthy

[@alittleinfppanda]

I have had a recent occasion of mixed mania /depression and didn't know what to do with myself. It's a bit comforting to see you've been through it, too. I am always questioning which part of me the people in my life prefer, if any at all.

[@kokomylife6911]

Same💯

[@DaniSilva..]

How mania works? If you taking medications you can still have mania/ depression?

[@losergeekalesha]

@@DaniSilva.. yes you can still have episodes while medicated.

[@marcellusbalmores9713]

I was diagnosed with bipolar 1. Whenever i’m having mania. I feel so great. I appreciate all things even when i’m breathing. I talk too much also. I quit my job coz i felt like i am way better than the manager.

[@madhurimadhu60]

This is so fucking true makoiii. I have had this experience back in college

[@amylafornina1112]

Yes I quit my job because of the same reason.

[@katyafedchun]

And then you get to depressive episode and think that manager thought you were a waste of time and you get that sink your head and start feeling more worthless and stupid 😭 (that would be in my case anyway haha)

[@justarandomfan2421]

Ngl I am moslty in a happy mood XD

[@jakekiss1014]

Hell yeah. You are better than the manager.

[@Belle3118]

During a manic episode, I feel like I've had 12 cups of coffee without having any. I talk and talk and talk and never stop. My thoughts feel like a game of brick breaker with about 10 balls bouncing around. I don't feel like myself at all. It's often quite scary.

[@tranminh4364]

What do you do to get out of it ?

[@nerdology1019]

Breh never actually drink coffee in a manic episode. Jesus Christ will it amplify it

[@alittleinfppanda]

I hate the talking. I just want to shut up! But I feel I must say something. It's so humiliating!

[@anaj6263]

yeah and i want it to stop so much but i just feel crazy i hate it. it doesn't help when others make fun of you too

[@davisperron4260]

Absolutely how I felt

[@jerrymorganjr]

Kati seems like the sweetest person. She's the kind of therapist I want.

[@Tmcsinger91]

Jerry Morgan JR yeah for sure

[@bekacynthia]

Jerry Morgan JR me too! I would love to have her, even online- since I’m in Brazil

[@ew1977]

Same here Jerry. Psychiatrists here are nasty and there's so much demand for them here in Australia that it has taken me 13 years, since diagnosis by my G.P and a work cover claim, now I have been to two in the last few months and they are monsters and so nasty and just because I don't 'present' as manic they say they see 'no evidence' of me being manic yet I describe my manic episodes and they shut me down! Now they have caused me a 3 week depressive episode where I feel pointless and have that my life is a waste of time. This has been caused by psychiatrists. Wish this lady was my psychiatrist.

[@jerrymorganjr]

@@ew1977 All I can say is keep your head up. Try finding some on skype. Not always the best option if you need meds but someone to talk too.

[@keabetswemonare7020]

I absolutely love that you keep saying "We" when talking about our Symptoms...

[@TEE19622]

Really? Not to be contrary but ... ive not heard her fess up to having bipolar 1 like me and feel that it is patronizing. It is probably just where i am now though as sometimes almost everything makes me mad(er)

[@PatiRoxx]

As a bipolar I myself and I can say this video is very accurate. I tried to get help for years but was always misdiagnosed as depressed and the meds would make my episodes much worse, my mania feels like being high on drugs in the best way possible! I engaged in EVERY single risky behavior she mentioned and more, won’t give details because of the guilt and shame. But at the time it all seems right and you feel so wonderfully alive doing it all. You are not like the others, you’re so superior, the most intelligent and attractive person in the world, everything is done to fullest. Full speed, sleeping is a waste of time, I want more, I can do anything. Then I would stop my meds because of the feeling that I was so strong and didn’t need it and also because I didn’t want to crush my wave. So slowly you start to come down from the wave, you can feel it creeping in, like a cold fingers that slowly reach, pull you and finally take over. For me depression is harder to talk, because when maniac at least I would succeed and do some great things. My depression at best was not feeling nothing at all, not getting out of bed for days not even to brush my teeth. Total lack of interest in anything. Would sleeps weeks and not eat. And that was at best. Worst was very desperate and suicidal, I’ll leave it at that. Just sharing 🙃

[@markshapiro7307]

I got misdiagnosed too and put on lexapro and was pushed into a manic episode the first time and hypomania the second and it was really really weird

[@lifestylebyrachel]

Thank you for sharing and can totally relate❤

[@dominiquegennaro2733]

Feeling completely out of control of your actions and emotions, best way I can personally describe it. At least when I’m manic

[@parkerwatters9789]

i end up laughing when people tell me the saddest things when im having a manic episode. ill be telling myself “why cant i cry??? why cant i stop laughing??? i want to feel bad for them, i should, why cant i??”

[@priscillamagdaleno9775]

By the time they properly diagnosed me , I already lost all my friends and family ,jobs etc.😢

[@roxxychase576]

Priscilla Magdaleno me too. And my mom hates my guts so

[@nicolecourtney8688]

Me too ❤ i feel for you

[@focus2076]

No i have a bipolar friend and she never lost me because i am supportive and i always help her and i always understand her she push me away like 2-3 times in month and when she come back i always say was my fold so she dont feels bad real friends never can be lost

[@suusfaria529]

Wow...welcome to the club?

[@Jikayuki]

me too

[@foggyvhs8790]

I can definitely relate to being over inspired to the point I get nothing done

[@abourgeois2]

Yesssss!!

[@blondie-1112]

Once again another cool video Katie. I really look forward to my studies next semester in counselling. I look forward to change lives and inspiring those around us.

[@lilyeliza1998]

I have bipolar one, I was first diagnosed with bipolar two. I live in the UK and the mental health care isn’t the best so I’ve spent a lot of years in the system because every doctor had a different view on what the definition of bipolar was. My mania was something I didn’t acknowledged because a doctor once said to me a manic episode was wanting to fly or steal. My mania comes more often than my “meltdowns” it consists of distractibility, overspending, fast talking, and sometimes even delusions. At first I thought I just ADHD (ADD in America) because I couldn’t focus and I couldn’t stream one consistent thought together but then I found out more about mania and met with a different mental health team and got my diagnosis changed to bipolar one. What I call my “meltdowns” are my other side of the spectrum episodes. They are probably the most terrifying thing that could ever happen to me. I am quite a rational person and so for me to lose complete sight of all rationality is so scary. I have two different types of meltdowns. I have anger meltdowns where I feel like the whole world is against me and that I need to scream and shout and make people feel my pain. Something I would totally never feel in my more natural state of mind. So for me these are the worst as I can hurt a lot of people with words and thoughts that I don’t even mean and then the come down is so difficult because of how guilty I feel. The second type of meltdown I have is a depressive one. I get really sad and I can’t cope with life, it’s is less externally extreme but internally just as awful. The worst part is that in these moments I truly believe this is how i feel and how I will feel for the rest of my life. My mum says it’s really hard to watch me go through either meltdown, especially at the beginning as I’m trying to fight myself because I don’t want it to happen. I claw at my skin until it bleeds and grit my teeth so hard I’ve dislocated my jaw and I punch myself all to try and regain control. But it’s just not possible. This all sounds so terrible, but luckily I have a great support system consisting of my mum, my aunt and my boyfriend. Everyday is a struggle but you just have to keep going, I myself am going to start studying to be an art therapist, me and my boyfriend talk about our future and starting a family. I know everything in my life won’t come as easy as it should be I’m willing to keep trying to get happiness.

[@paulflint6254]

I live in the UK too, i know bipolar better than my Doctors do, i had to explain rapid cycling to them. Great comment, hope your well.

[@Julia-LArt]

I'm also in the U.K. and am diagnosed Bipolar, though I was never given a type. Mines also 1 from what I've read. It's excellent you have a good support system and art therapy is amazing! Hugs to all of us getting the right help here! ⭐️

[@myozbubble]

I read so often that the mental health system sucks in Great Britain. This is so disturbing for me (I'm in the US). Why is it so horrible? Is it lack of or shortage of mental health doctors? Is it a cultural thing because, as I know nothing about British culture other than what I read and see of TV, they are told to have a 'stiff upper lip.' What needs to happen in your country to make mental health a higher priority? In the meantime, you sound so strong and that you are working really hard to keep yourself on a positive path. My best to you!!

[@Katimorton]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I am so sorry you've had such a tough time getting the right diagnosis and finding treatment that is helpful. I am glad you have a wonderful support system! That can make all the difference. xoxo

[@Jo-whoknowshowmany]

I'm in the UK too. I thought my problem was depressipn but the last 5 years have been very bad and now I wonder if I have bipolar instead. When it was worst I asked for a mental health professional but at the time wasn't able to get one. I'm scared to follow this up in case it goes on my medical record if I do have it. I didn't ask the doctor at the time as I thought I would be hospitalised and become homeless. I'm not sure how to find out if I am bipolar now as I'm past the worst of it.

[@the_schmoopsie]

I recently got diagnosed after my first manic episode. Boy howdy it was an experience. I got A LOT of school work done. I felt like I burst through the fog of depression and like I understood "Enlightenment". I definitely spent money that I shouldn't have spent and talked the ears off everyone around me. I didn't sleep for 3 days and I still only slept because I knew I'd need to sooner or later so figured I'd get it out of the way just in case I came up with another fantastic idea that I didn't want slipping out of my mind. I don't wanna say it was the best I've felt in years..... But it was the best I've felt in years. I just hope that in the future I can approach (and hold) that feeling without it getting dangerous or overwhelming.

[@moslypig]

This just happened to me and I just realized it. I am 39 and idk what’s wrong with me

[@Jenny-fl5cn]

So why is this a problem? Why is it classes as pathological?

[@lifestylebyrachel]

The crash after enlightenment is brutal…did you crash after?

[@maddiel.6861]

I appreciate your videos so much, Kati. They're incredibly helpful.

[@joyermum]

Mania and psychosis are for me frightening, isolating and cause me great distress. It's still horribly stigmatising - i hate my diagnosis. It sucks - i don't and havent lived 'a full life ' - the last 15 years have been limiting, sad and very lonely. Thank you for bringing more awareness. Jo x

[@indyvail3357]

I hear you. Mania plus the psychosis was a terrifying experience for me to. The last 2 yrs is like a blackout to me.

[@MtnDewloverr]

Girl, you are always making the exact videos I'm needing without even knowing it. My best friend was just diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and I'm always trying to learn more so that I can be of more help to her. Thank you for this!

[@Katimorton]

Awe yay!! I am so glad this came at the right time!! xoxo

[@kevinstop1]

Put on your seatbelt

[@theresaleszczynski6273]

Hi Kati. Thank you for this information video. It clarified for me the difference between bipolar 1 and bipolar 2. Have a great weekend!

[@frannyfran7157]

Thank you so much Katie for your channel. I've had family and friends who struggle with bipolar and I tried to educate myself in how I can better support them.

[@vtroygohokies3230]

Kati what a fantastic way of relating this illness, so very helpful to someone first experiencing bipolar illness as well as those like myselph who have been battling this for many years. Originally I was diagnosed with schizophrenia.Not that unccommon in 1975. I have taken. Meds for 45 years. Many ups and downs, depression alway worst. Because of the medical professionals and my family most notably my wife I refuse to give up. I will continue to count my blessings till I bid this world goodbye.

[@tjohnz3171]

I am 40 and have always struggled with bipolar disorder. Like she just said, it feels like you can crawl out of your skin. It's so stressful and it causes so much angry chaos in my life. Every relationship I've ever had suffers at the hands of mania/depression or shame & guilt, I sever them all in order to avoid hurting them or vice versa, and I use shady tactics to do this in order to avoid the inevitable confrontation.

[@mortonbae]

I've had BP1 for a very long time and there have been only a handful of times where I've been stable long enough to realize my personality separate from my disorder. I have not held a job longer than 7 months because stress can make symptoms unmanageable. I am never sure what amount of happy or sad is appropriate and it can cause me a lot of anguish. I also have experience being constantly under the emotional microscope with people who know of my diagnosis. I've lost friends and family who just couldn't understand that my extreme change in feelings were out of my control and thought that I was being selfish. Life is a constant stream of psych medicine appointments and therapy and because of this, I've been deemed disabled. I count myself as being blessed though for having a spouse and support system that have made the decision to get to understand that I am not my disorder, but that I suffer through one.

[@janelletrevino8347]

I’m sorry for your struggle my friend. I hope all I well with you. I’ve been dating someone who is bipolar and it is heartbreaking. I want to help but sometimes feel I can’t. Any words of advice?

[@Rastasoul1]

It’s heartbreaking going through this. I thank you for sharing. I never know anymore if my feelings are right or wrong. Just makes me want to stay to myself so I won’t get hurt or hurt anyone else. Sending you love and positive vibes. 💔🙏🏾

[@lovey3lovey]

Wow you hit it on the spot .I'm going to send this to my loved ones and Friends .You explained it so well and I know that this will help them understand something I wasn't able to explain myself. Ty from the bottom of my heart.❤

[@violence_infinite]

I have been questioning my episodes and emotions for a long time now and this video was incredibly informative and eye-opening. Thank you.

[@kswannie]

Mania feels great, depression not so much; both burn my soul

[@CARAVANRUSH]

I'm BP 1 but mostly I have been depressed and quite suicidally at times. Attempted it 3-4 times. Feel great now. Thank you, Lord Jesus Christ

[@_just_TK]

I was SO excited when I saw an ad before this video! So glad u got it monetized! 👍❤️

[@Jade-ku2vz]

I love your videos Kati! I miss when you used to say "Are you knew to my channel? Welcome!" It was so upbeat and happy!

[@noginogi99]

really happy that you made this video :( i was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder just a week ago and im very confused about it .... im trying to understand it better and this helps a lot, its really frustrating to not understand whats going on with ur own brain ://

[@cindya.8381]

I’m diagnosed as bipolar 1. My one major manic episode happened after upping my antidepressants. I never want that to happen again. I damaged a lot of relationships during that time, and they never really understood when I tried to apologize. I’m always scared when I have a new idea or take on a new project that I’m going back to that scary place. It’s almost like I feel like I can’t be truly happy because that might mean I’m becoming manic or hypomanic. But with therapy, I’m learning that it’s ok to be happy, but recognize what symptoms might mean I’m going into that state. Great video! Love what you do, Katie. Your content wonderfully breaks down tough subjects into an easily understandable form. Keep up the good work!

[@15.johnsonangel]

Weed really helps me stay balanced and not respond to triggers as harshly. It keeps my high/manic episodes in check, and my low/depressive episodes from spiraling into weeks or months of darkness. I used to be really excited when my come up came, but I've figured out those surges of energy after a depressive episode don't last. And that it's important to keep myself leveled even though I'm overflowing with positive feelings bcuz they aren't really real. It does feel nice after feeling numb and cloudy, but crashing from that high is really rough. There was a time when I would go thru cycle after cycle bcuz I thought I was supposed to be happy like that ALL the time, and get really depressed when I wasn't. Now that I know myself better, I can handle myself better. Thank you so much for sharing this 💕🙌🏿

[@alanashedd2272]

Wow I can relate to this a lot weed also helps me feel balance and focus. Like I can get real shit done which make me feel proud of myself. Unlike not picking something up then putting it down and never finish anything.

[@omarhesham8272]

Mania feels like LITERALLY the inability to get myself exposed to anything slightly far from CERTAIN excitement for even one second. I just can't NOT be excited. I have to do whatever would keep my world moving as fast as possible. I don't care what it is that I do, and I don't care why it's happening, I just have to keep it moving. And the only way to keep it moving is to GRAB whatever I want, and I do want so much things that it is too exciting to be REALIZED and controlled. So then I dive into it, and believe that this is life, I completely stop thinking about how a 'bit weird' it is. I feel like everything is about me and only me, and everything is moving for me and trying to serve my purposes, somehow.

[@moslypig]

Omg. Yes. This is happening to me

[@whyumadthoe2]

I'm a person who has bipolar 1. For me it was tricky. I grew up not knowing that I was bipolar so I was just constantly riding that roller coaster. Those goal oriented manic episodes just feel like your trying to take control of your life again. Something positive driven by something so shaky and pressured. Some nights when I'm asleep I remember stupid moments from my episodes and wake up and feel that guilt and shame for the rest of the night. I consider my self an empath too , so sometimes I don't even feel those emotions my self. If I see someone else showing anger our symptoms that are manic. I begin to feel manic myself hoping no one notices. This video really helps me organize things about my life . I truly appreciate that you make these videos. I pray everyone that's dealing with this treats themselves kindly and know your not alone

[@JordanBell4free]

I was in a toxic relationship with a grandiose narcissist which was an absolute nightmare. Her push-pull would cause accentuated mania and depression which exacerbated my bipolar I. To make it worse I didn't know I had Bipolar I nor did I know what a narcissist was at the time. After the relationship, I ended up in the hospital where I got my Bipolar I diagnosis. It was real shit show.

[@supersized1399]

hey man i have the exxact same story thanks for sharing

[@lifestylebyrachel]

Me too….ended up hospitalized and diagnosed when I left my abusive narcissistic ex. So glad I’m free now and hope you are too

[@marisaswanson2061]

ayy i’m so thankful for the video!!!

[@mattcantstop]

I have a friend with bipolar and found this informative. Thanks for taking your time to create this content for us. It's helpful!

[@TheSamknowles]

I'd say we're more like lovers than friends.

[@thepearlswirl]

This comment will most likely be over looked.. but I was just recently (last year) in a mental health hospital against my will for 48 hours that led to a month of being in there.. I decided to stop being scared of what people think and start my youtube channel (consistently) this year centered around mental health.. I was diagnosed with PTSD, BP1, Major Depressive Disorder and General Anxiety Disorder. I hope to grow my channel and use my experience as a platform for those who feel they are in this alone. I was keyword researching for my upcoming videos and came across your channel. Thank you for making this video today. I feel God made it a point for me to come across your video today. (New Subscriber Here)

[@ArmyWife8697]

Thank you for this video. My husband & My mother in law are both bipolar. This video is very helpful💕

[@Katimorton]

Awe I am so glad!! xoxo

[@Queenie97]

I have bipolar 2. My highs are racing thoughts, getting things done, impulsivity, feeling great but quick to irritate or anger, and being talkative. My lows are withdrawing from others, quiet, self loathing, generally feeling depressed which I call a black mood. My life is good I will not complain. Thankfully my meds are working to keep things stabilized.

[@taylorcruz5619]

I can relate to the depressive. I usually distance myself from people during depressive episodes because in my mind, I think they hate me. When I'm manic, I'm extremely social and throwing social gatherings.

[@stonervisiontv1388]

I think i have this

[@nathpaints7468]

Hi, BP 1 here. I loved having a manic episode and therefore refused to take my meds but after very bad decitions and outcomes due to them, I got back in line. I still hate being at the bottom and so depressed I wanted to no longer live but thanks to fruends and family I am stable now and have been for several years, I am happy and sometimes I do feel extreme emotions but I know how to control them and center myself. Tanks Kati for spreading the word about my disorder and debunking the myths.

[@kylemccown]

Thank you for making this, Kati!

[@lucindaveloz2253]

Love this video. My mother has bipolar disorder. This was really helpful. Could you create a video about the relationship between Autism and depression, please? Thanks

[@kidforeverplz]

My mania feels amaazinggggg. Like all the pressures of life are lifted and I know everything and never have to guess. Like I can see into the future and I know everyone’s true intentions and nothing can go wrong. I would stay in that mindset forever if I knew it didn’t hurt those close to me. Imagine being blacked out drunk but with the energy of a meth user. The euphoria goes crazyyy.

[@lucaslaufer3470]

I've been going in and out of episodes since the start of Covid and I wasn't sure what was going on. I'm not one to self diagnose but I think this has described me completely. I've always been scared of going in to the doctor for mental issues bc its been drilled in to me that that's not something men do, but I think possibly understanding what's going on might give me the courage to just do it. I appreciate you and the internet in General for helping me understand what might have been plaguing me these last couple of years. So thank you :)

[@Caitlin.S]

I have a older brother with Bipolar I so lately I’ve been making sure I educate myself. I even did a capstone project which is my big project that is done in senior year of high school on bipolar disorder and depression awareness. I enjoy your videos and soon I’ll be in college and on my way to help others like you do. 😄💕

[@leejasmin945]

Will you be doing the same type of video for Bipolar II? I would love to hear it, as someone affected by it

[@roxstarinspiration4459]

Lisa Morey .... I have bipolar 2, but it’s only because of my BPD (according to therapist). I hope she does a video on it too!

[@joaniebologna698]

Same!!

[@KK_Draws_Stuff]

Same here as well. I've been diagnosed Bipolar 2 (with symptoms of ADHD) but it'd be good to see her do a video on it

[@thes5832]

@@roxstarinspiration4459 because of your bpd? Wow! That's new, another disorder causing another disorder. Well, I guess it can,because a lot of disorders come with eating disorders.

[@livingwithbipolardisorder-7339]

@@roxstarinspiration4459I have it because of bpd too, I hope you’re doing well!

[@katiegoldstein3747]

Basically I feel amazing when I’m manic and overly confident. But then it goes downhill into a depression with suicidal thoughts

[@bipolarsolutions5444]

Thanks for making this video! Very insightful and informative!

[@ashleighsteaparty268]

Thank you so much for this video. I have Bipolar and am not great at explaining how it makes me feel etc to my family. I’ve shared this with them this evening xx

[@paigeatk]

I have Bipolar 1 and I SO appreciate this video! Thanks, Kati!

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! I hope you found it helpful and accurate :) xoxo

[@melon9755]

I’m 16 and was diagnosed bipolar 1 about a month ago. The doctor I had before my new one misdiagnosed me with depression kind of like mentioned in the video. But for me, bipolar makes me feel out of control and frustrated due to that lack of control. When I fall into a depression, I have crying spells and sleep a little more then usual. I often feel like I will never be happy again. But then, within a week to a month.. I feel right back on track.. So motivated I feel like I can do anything. As the middle of the night approaches, I stay up till 8 in the morning thinking of all the amazing things I could be doing instead of sleeping. So I stay up all night getting things done and feeling so excited while my thoughts race miles ahead of my actions. Whether depressed or manic, I feel very irritable and often snap at people I care about. I later feel guilt and wish I had better control. Bipolar is a rollercoaster of dipping into depression and then eventually back up to mania. I’ve become use to it, knowing that as I am in a manic state, it wont last forever so I try to use it to my advantage and get as much done as humanly possible before I dip into depression again. Thats a bit of what bipolar is like for me

[@whataloseruser]

im 17 and was disgnosed recently and my experience is really similar to yours

[@cvnt444]

i relate to this so hard

[@Rastasoul1]

Me too 😩💔🙏🏾

[@kellyshepherd7201]

I’m 24 now, I’ve also been misdiagnosed and was prescribed Zoloft, Prozac, sertraline, fluoxetine, and bupropion in my life. Zoloft is the one that sent me into mania. I’m not on any bipolar medication. I’m terrified of all of it, and would rather learn to naturally deal with it. So now I refuse pills, unless it’s simple over the counter headache medicine. I’ve had enough bad experiences and don’t trust doctors either. I know how you feel exactly.

[@jenniferkohl38]

Thank you for the way you explain mental health issues. You make a difference.

[@Katimorton]

Awe thanks Jennifer :) xoxo

[@themindfulminimalist2567]

Katie has helped me so much! I have bipolar 1 disorder as well as several others. I have gotten brave enough to share my mental health journey on my own channel.

[@amandabooth9139]

Bipolar 1 feels like jumping out of a plane with a defective parachute. It’s a great high that ends terribly wrong. One thing that was not mentioned was rapid cycling. I rapid cycle every 2-3 weeks sometimes faster.

[@Amandax-tx6yb]

Same friend. Same.

[@lizzieritter8057]

I can rapid cycle even in one day..it sucks.

[@agnesm_23]

I had rapid cycling too... It sucks

[@agnesm_23]

@@lizzieritter8057 same

[@alittleinfppanda]

I was wondering if that was a thing, since I certainly feel I'm up and down way more than a couple of times a year. I'm still new to learning about this after finding out I have it not long ago.

[@doggiestylespositivedoggro2501]

Could your possibly do a video on living with both BPD and Cyclothymia please? It gets confusing with so many emotions and learning to manage them. Would be great for some advice! Thank you for all your videos, they help so much!

[@syum.]

Just FYI, BPD is borderline personality disorder. The acronym for bipolar disorder is BD

[@doggiestylespositivedoggro2501]

Yep I know, thank you. ☺️

[@indyvail3357]

@@syum. I think that's what they meant tbh lol

[@larrymcdaniels5205]

Hey Katie I wanna let you know that you’re doing awesome and amazing job and thank you for everything you do you help us out West Virginia stand by you girl

[@PatrickSingsASong]

Amazing. Thank you. I came across your videos when I was studying psych - currently coming out of an episode - really well explained. One thing which I'm trying to deal with is family and friends treating me with a lack of respect / being consistent patronising in a systematic way (I'm guessing how sexism and racism plays out?). I'm pretty switched on and intelligent,,, so it's hard when, say, my dad is talking to me like a 12 year old. There's a sense that this comes from not having been able to achieve things that neurotypical people would - full time job, partner, children - so he talks down to me - and yet, grandiosity aside, I'm more intellgent than him - it's infuriating. Trying to change it is hard, it's like trying to turning around a massive shipping boat.

[@tbenson5966]

Everything usually irritates me, even small things, then sometimes I’ll blow up and I can’t help myself.

[@cd4536]

This was great. I have bipolar one. The onset came at about age 10. At that time bipolar wasn't diagnosed in children. A video on what mania looks like in children and how treatment early on helps would be amazing.

[@desireeblack8150]

Yes, please, Kati; it seems this disorder can often be hereditary and especially prevalent amongst the females in a family. My friend's family has quite a few issues and he has two daughters, it would be wonderful if you'd create a video specifically addressing BD in children.

[@iamlight1]

Thank you. I always enjoy your videos ♥

[@captainswan3079]

Great video!!! Also your eyebrows are on point!!! 😊

[@donnag4150]

Love these vlogs, ilook forward to these.😁

[@Katimorton]

Awe yay!! xoxo

[@lexyricketts1197]

I have Bipolar 1 with Anxious Distress, basically take Bipolar 1 and add constant anxiety. I describe my manic/hypomanic episodes as being "on vibrate" I am hyperactive and definitely talk a mile a minute. I am also one of those people who was kickstarted into a manic episode by antidepressants. My therapist realized 5 minutes into our session. The hardest thing to figure out was mixed episodes, I didn't know I could have them, I thought everyone felt the combination of symptoms I did/do. Thank you to Katie for helping me learn more about my own diagnosis and helping to break the stigma against mental illness. I send your videos to friends and family to help them understand my disorder and it really helps, so thank you ❤

[@KhloJay1024]

Yesss. They put me on Zoloft and I didn’t sleep for a week. I took HOURS long walks because I thought that I was finally seeing real colors for the first time (they looked more vibrant, almost glowing) and I was like I’ve been ripped off! My whole life I never knew colors looked like this and now I do! 😂

[@VideoChasca]

I think channels like this and Dr. Tracey Marks' one just saved me from a lot of mess. I was exploring a posible hypomania diagnosis with my psychiatrist, but when I noticed my grandiosity and how I wanted to put myself in danger I crumbled... But a part of me (a very educated one) was like "okay it's chill, just some days in the hospital with mood stabilizers and you'll be fine", and that's indeed what happened. Knowing the illness and how it's treated made said treatment way easier, since it allowed me to see that my superpowers would crash eventually and it was better to do what's best in the long run. Thanks a lot ❤️

[@paulaesanchez]

I'm so grateful for these resources because my mom has Bipolar 1 and now I'm able to better gauge what upsets her and where she's at in her cycles with her condition.

[@barbiia2099]

I'm currently in my manic episode, it's either that or deep depression. Needless to say I'm living my best life right now, for about 3 weeks. Before that I was depressed for 5 months straight.

[@dramaturgically]

I find my counselors in my town don't release that both highs and lows can last any amount of time for each cause it's all different amounts of times for me for what feels like my entire life

[@sophiadavenport3959]

This sounds scary

[@valeriateran6809]

I relate to this

[@GajinWilk]

I’m bipolar 1 and I wrote a song about the comedown it’s on my KZbin page maybe it will help someone else with bipolar.

[@myozbubble]

What a great video!! I think I have been misdiagnosed. Could you do a video on how to help a friend who has Bipolar Disorder? What is the best thing I can do for someone that is in either the manic or depressed stages? I want to help and not hurt.

[@nancytimoch7810]

I'd be interested in that video as wella

[@slytherlily]

Would definitely love a video like this on Bipolar II as well! One of my best friend was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder, along with a few other things. Since I'm not as familiar with Bipolar II, a video would definitely help me understand what she's going through. Thanks!

[@GajinWilk]

I’m bipolar 1 and I wrote a song about the comedown it’s on my KZbin page maybe it will help someone else with bipolar.

[@BlazedAchievements]

just got diagnosed schiozaffective disorder bipolar type was misdiagnosed with depressive type. Just coming out of mania wich lasted 9 days in which i was so happy euphoric i felt as if hulk himself couldnt stop me. So many ideas upon ideas that i couldnt sleep. Slept maybe 10 hours in 9 days and barley eating. Mania feels amazing at first but then u feel like you want to bust out of your own skin. So glad to have the correct diagnosis now and finally starting a mood stabilizer today, thank you for this amazing video

[@dory79cast59]

Was this the one that you had trouble with the demonization? If so it doesn't seem like it should have been. My bipolar episodes are on point with everything you said. My very first one was when I was first diagnosed as major depressed disorder then put on an antidepressant and that shot my into my very first manic episode. I was manic for weeks. It was horrible but great at the same time because I got a lot of stuff done lol

[@katinadiep9268]

I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder 5 years ago. The same year, I had cancer. At the time, I thought I'd be fine after 6 months of therapy and medication. Well it took a few years. Today though, I can honestly say that I found myself in the process. The minute I accepted the fact that medication was essential to my recovery, my whole life changed. I understood the symptoms. Today I'm not ashamed. I am actually happier than ever before. 😄

[@bertoldopleari7779]

I’m commenting just because I like your channel. I’m diagnosed type I. Mania is very different and the consequent depression is also different depending on the intensity of the maniac episode. Mania may range from hyperactivity straight up to psychosis. I was diagnosed as type I due to the presenting of the latter kind of mania. The depression which followed was so harsh, so profound that anti-depressants were barely, very barely effective for the first following months. It lasted one year or so. It took me another year to recover. In my very experience a pure maniac state corresponds to psychosis. Luckly two full years have passed by and most of mania episodes I faced were hypomania. Needless to say my life was shattered due to this illness. Almost everyone of my many friends didn’t want to have nothing to do with me anymore, my promised spouse left me too - even tho she was with me, supporting me during the worst times; that was so stressing for her and so devastating that she couldn’t stand by my side anymore. I want to end this note, stating that I’m also a very gifted individual, I’m around 155 IQ, very creative and talented in any art. This ‘illness’ (which is a medical definition for malfunctionality) gives and takes.

[@LickMyNoseSukka]

I get chills, mad chills that starts from my brain and goes down my spine. It’s like a jolt of energy that makes me want to move. I’ll move in any direction to make my animalistic side happy. Don’t think just do type of mentality. Then, whatever I did kind of fades away and my normal self deals with the fallout then keeps keeping on. I still have a hard time identifying trigger but I’m slowly working on bettering myself with my therapist and physiatrist but tbh, They’re not there when I need them

[@TobyPasta]

It's been 2 years that I've successfully have been on the right medications. It's helped bring down my mania and it helped me live a much better life filled with hope for the future. I still get mania at times but luckily I'm getting the help to get to the point where it'll be mostly under control. It's very possible to live a great and successful life while having Bipolar I.

[@ellivro7933]

I appreciate this video. Its accurate, however as far as mis diagnosis goes, i know that i couldn't even say if im 1 or 2 at this point. They say im bipolar and give me pills but i haven't sat down with a doctor since i was a teenager and had an accurate diagnosis. Now most meetings last 30 mins and they throw depakote at me everytime. I told my doctor i felt way to tired and she said "Well hopefully you can learn to live with it." I am on medicaid and that is probably part of the problem if i had to guess. But thanks Katy, and hopefully ill see a proper doctor soon.

[@geekyariel]

Really good, informative video. I have bipolar 1 disorder, I would say I'm in a mixed episode now. A mixed episode feels really confusing because you don't know which way is up and what emotion is going to come out of you next. But to answer the question of what bipolar feels like. It feels like I'm climbing a mountain. Sometimes the climb is fun and exciting, other times super scary with bugs crwaling on me, at times I can see the top. But I rarely make it there because I usually fall down to the ground, which is black and sucks me in. The times when I do make it to the top are euphoric and great but they can also feel like I'm out of control up there. This is just an example sometimes I use during peer support. But just one of the ways I explain it.

[@alisiaashleymartino4707]

Such a good video! Thank you!

[@Femster1968]

I have Bipolar 2 disorder, BPD, anxiety, major depression, panic disorder, and. PTSD. could you please do a video on people with multiple disorders?

[@bltseries3756]

Femster1968 that’s a lot

[@vivaproduction1]

Femster1968 I agree, most people have multiple disorders. A lot tends to go hand in hand. It can seem like a lot but it’s not uncommon. :)

[@Katimorton]

I definitely can.. is there something specific you would like me to cover? Or just how to best manage them or what diagnosis to focus on.. just want to make sure it's helpful :) xoxo

[@renepeters945]

@@unkownnenob6739 You don't know their life. Maybe they actually do have all those.

[@Femster1968]

Kati Morton could you please include what a combination of disorders can mean, for both patient and therapist? And how frustrating it can be for a patient? Bipolar 2 is bad enough to have on its own, let alone in combination with everything else. I am 51, have had despression since I was 15, where my mother refused to let me get treated! Another one you could do, the effects on your mental health of being medically abused by your parents. I have to deal with my mother saying “ you are not sick, you are faking it” in the background of my thoughts, even many years later. Would love to message you or email you privately to let you know what it is like to deal with a few disorders.

[@paper-chasepublications9433]

On point, as usual!!!👍🏼👍🏼

[@strongestunited]

this was so mind-opening to my bipolar 1 disorder. when someone tells me that these events in my life were symptoms from my disorder, it makes sense and gives me hope

[@djglenn]

Super insightful. I've been diagnosed as a kid as "manic depressive" and this matches a lot of what I go through. For example, I've quit every job I've ever had on one of these "come downs" because I felt insecure and too stupid and annoying to be around people. So I don't go back. And I'm dealing with it without medicine, and I'm getting better it it. I'm tryning to do music stuff so maybe I can be sucessful at that and I do't need to hold a job to have medicine and a couseler.

[@leanafus551]

aldbwjrnrbalfjw i was just recently diagnosed with bipolar 1 and i’m so thankful you uploaded this ❤️

[@jamieh186]

It’s like hell. Especially having BPD on top of it. Thank you for doing this video.

[@anabelleb9919]

Wait u can have both that sucks

[@jamieh186]

anabelleb99 yes definitely. BPD is like rapid mood swings over a few minutes, hours, and days generally, that are mostly based off of interpersonal and interpersonal relationship problems. Bipolar is a mood disorder that is over weeks for both the manic or depressive episodes that have no reason behind them that can be pinpointed other than brain chemistry change.

[@anabelleb9919]

Amy Holley i have bipolar type two so I get it but I don’t have BPD but I hear it sucks just stay strong

[@jamieh186]

anabelleb99 it can. But borderline makes me unique. I’m very loyal to my family and friends. I’m honest to what some people might consider a fault. And I, just like many people with borderline, see things in life from a different artistic perspective because of my pain. So, there’s both good and bad. And I will make a great psychiatrist one day for it.

[@zdenkaburnett8020]

I just got to 4 minutes 30 and the fact you mentioned antidepressants almost pushing one into a manic episode is exactly what I told my doctor today when we were discussing my medication and bipolar disorder. I have bipolar 2 and went from taking 1 Lovan tablet (antidepressant) to then 2 (doctor advised) because of my severe depression and only recently have I found out I have bipolar. Going up in my antidepressants tablets have made me feel like my manic episodes are a lot uncontrollable and instead of being depressed, I get super angry and irritated, yet incredibly productive (but angry at the same time) Thank you for this video, Kati. So much love for you ❤️

[@zdenkaburnett8020]

Update: just finished the video and this is so spot on. Like I previously wrote and what Kati mentioned just after I wrote that comment is the mania and depression at the same time. It’s the most uncomfortable feeling I have ever felt. Being productive and getting everything done, yet you’re so incredibly angry that the smallest thing can send you a-wall. When I’m going through my happy days of mania, it’s damn well amazing. Best feeling. But when I do stupid shit impulsively, I regret it when I’m coming down. Awesome video again, Kati. Thank you

[@zdenkaburnett8020]

Ps, my psychologist and my doctor have prescribed me lithium medication so I have to stop taking my antidepressants in order to start taking lithium for my bipolar

[@kevanonymouschannel8328]

i love this channel i am making a tv show for people who delt with alot of things and my characters have mental illness so this helps me with my characters

[@richalexander1138]

Great video! Although my ex was never medically diagnosed these symptoms, the description of mania fits what she had. When her highs were high things were great but the come down was a storm to say the least. Would like to see a video on how can significant others deal with those suffering from bpd.

[@_just_TK]

Richard Alexander Kati already has a great video on being in a relationship w/ someone who has BPD. kzbin.info/www/bejne/sKvTaXyAfrxkg7M

[@margaretbonnett3233]

I have bipolar 1 and my mania feels like I'm on a stimulant. When the mania would hit I would start working non stop. Sometimes I would take on a giant project like painting my house or gardening which I would do until I was in severe pain. I would ignore my own kids needs as well as my own. When the depression would hit I would go to the doctor and weasel drugs like opiates. Im 61 and take 2 medications which I'm cutting back on. I kind of feel that I'm a lot better post menopausal. My bipolar would always get way worse around my periods.

[@jrchavez694]

Wow I wrote previous coment around 5 minutes and 50 second into video and I do thrive in the uncomfort of new strategies to overcome previous failed attempts to be grand or distinguished in my ideology. And I am easily aggravated. What you said 10 seconds later triggered me . I would like to speak with you on ways to use these episodes as a stepping stone

[@byron8657]

101% True on what and how Bipolar 1 disorder feels like. The Mania is awesome euphoric all the noble good things goals n dreams surge in,the philosophical sense, the virtues sense of life, the clarity and epiphany, the utopia of life rushing inside and then the high low high low manic despair and depression sets in. I would like to compare it to the one who has the diabetes high low high low sugar in their bloodstream k! More of this inspiring and encouraging information about the Bipolar 1 disorder that many like me 57 years old now undiagnosed! More Power k!

[@shattered2003]

I’ve been recently diagnosed so I came to this video but one time when I was manic I bought a plane ticket to Washington and I was gonna start a new life and run away from everyone but luckily I came down from the manic state and got a refund on the ticket. I notice how insanely impulsive I get during a manic episode to the point where sometimes I put myself in danger.

[@ShaundrickRoberts]

I did the same thing two weeks ago. I was full manic and bought a ticket to nyc for the next day. Called out of work and didn’t sleep for the whole trip.

[@sarahhayes2634]

Hi Kati, can you do a video about how to cope when your therapist reports sth? How to trust her again and how to deal with some kind of "fight" between your and your therapist's opinion about that? How can I survive this and stop being angry at her and feeling betrayed?

[@andrewward6852]

Same problem bro

[@myozbubble]

Reports sth? What is sth? I'm not familiar with it but it sounds like more than a thorn in your side with your therapist.

[@family6973]

Hi Kadi, I have been following you for awhile now. I was just diagnosed with Bipolar this Month. I just was released from the hospital from having a manic episode. It was so scary and I didn't even remember. I was wrongfully diagnosed for years and always placed on anti-depressants which is what I was taking when my manic episode happened. Thank you for your videos they are always so helpful and informative.

[@hannahfong3164]

Hi Amanda, I am trying to understand the disorder because my sister has BP 1. Do you mind me asking what you were doing in your manic episode before you went to the hospital? My sister is in the hospital now and the doctor says she will have no memory of what happened.

[@family6973]

@@hannahfong3164 I was getting violent and hallucinating which is why my family called 911. My memory slowly came back which was difficult to apprehend what was real and what was not. It was a very scary process. Have patience with your sister and just be an ear to listen. I know I felt like I was a freak and I hated how people looked at me like I was broken. I wish your sister a healthy recovery. All the best.

[@EcurbSSJ]

I like this style of video. More like this please.

[@shelbycrutchfield845]

My first manic episode was a pure nightmare! With no insight to what was happening. I was hearing voice and seeing shadow people, feeling extreme rage. I was pacing around for hours unable to stop. I remember rocking on the floor holding my ears trying to stop the chatter in my head, felt like 8 of me screaming.

[@Lauren-us7ju]

Shelby Crutchfield my manic episodes can also be like this. I was in my living room one night and one of the people in the pictures kept morphing faces. Then, I was afraid because I felt like all the photos were staring at me and “knew what I had done”. It is so so scary, but you are not alone.

[@shelbycrutchfield845]

@@Lauren-us7ju its amazing what the mind can do. Medication has helped me so much!

[@arianahunt1073]

I feel your pain. When my mania gets really bad luckily it’s been a couple of years I shut myself in a closet and scream into a pillow and still get no relief. I also see shadows.

[@bertoldopleari7779]

I’m having an experimental cure that involves no medication. Lithium and anti-depressant have the side effect of dulling you and matting your creativity. This treatment involves profound self-awareness and a relatively strict routine to follow. Satisfaction and happiness are key for the process, too. The routine structure is very important, it has to involve physical activities, meditation, creative occupation and so forth, it is risky and it needs some time to kick up, in the starting phases you need to be supported by medication.

[@bertoldopleari7779]

Also you need a therapist and a psychiatrist to visit regularly, for monitoring

[@empressnaja]

I'm also bipolar 1 and it's the racing thoughts that really suck. I'm too much in my head at times over analyzing. And as far as sleep it's horrendous at best. The medicine makes me feel like 💩 because I tend to sleep way too deep. There has been times it's hurts just to get out of bed or even wash my ass SMH. And that's nasty for me. I can't stand it , I also at times see shadows and all kinds of weirdness. Sometimes I can't even put it into words and the meds are another thing altogether. However I've managed to get my daughter through High school and into college.And Go through a divorce without killing myself. And I'm still standing in My TRUTH 💪🏾✊🏾👊🏾☝🏾

[@december-lynnaudet3891]

This made me very emotional 😭 I have bipolar type 1 and I can say it is not easy but there are good times but it’s hard ! Anyways positive vibes everyone

[@lindseyr4059]

I've been diagnosed recently at 27 years old after at least 3 manic periods in my life. Now that I understand mania and depression better i can see the patterns of bipolar behavior and experience in my life. mania can feel so amazing as an artist, i end up starting a ton of cool ideas and projects that i love. i end up buying a ton of art supplies though, when i don't always have the money for it. just like the mania is described well, the depressive episodes are too. unfortunately i'm in a depressive episode right now and i'm trying to learn more about bipolar to help me understand myself better.