What Is a Midlife Crisis? What It Looks Like In Men & Women

[@ThomasLudwig-c1i]

Larry, this almost perfectly described what I experienced with my wife several years ago, and my predictable response (also as you described) only fed the situation and made it worse. Your program helped me to see what was really going on and make changes, and within weeks things changed with her as well. Two months later, I moved back home to a completely different marriage. I still apply and practice what I learned in all areas of my life. Thank you for what you did for me - keep up the good work!

[@LarryBilotta]

So glad to hear this! Thank you for sharing.

[@RogerLodge18]

The new personality thing is so true! I’ve seen it in some of the marriages I’m surrounded by. One of my good friends is at the snap line. My heart breaks for them. I’m going to send him this video. Thanks!

[@LarryBilotta]

Great! I hope your friend is able to gain some insight that can help him.

[@EugeniaAguirre-g9l]

This is exactly what destroyed my marriage a few years ago. Your video is insightful and very well timed. Though late in life, my friend's husband is showing these exact midlife crisis signs and has no idea what is causing them. This video explains it perfectly! I will share the information with them. Please continue posting more videos like this

[@LarryBilotta]

Thank you for sharing and passing this along to your friend.

[@musiclover865]

What we see is exactly who we are and we make a decision to stay and continually accept each other without compromises, or we don’t.

[@LarryBilotta]

To stay or go is the big question for many.

[@kyle_k82]

Thank you for this information. Great video. Too often the midlife crisis is shrugged off as "just a phase" but it really is deeper than that. Especially if you fall under the chaos kid definition. That makes an already difficult journey even more difficult, especially for the spouse trying to keep it all together. I am going to have to check out that course.

[@LarryBilotta]

Well said Kyle!

[@PenelopeBrown-k9n]

All your videos are so helpful. Please keep them coming. I was about to make some of the mistakes you referenced in one of your other videos, but you saved me - thank you!

[@LarryBilotta]

Will do! Good to hear that.

[@sanitary103]

Going through a mlc currently. Feel terrible. I hope I don’t destroy my life.

[@LarryBilotta]

I'm sorry to hear that. It's great that you've recognized this and are seeking support. There are many online resources available, like podcasts and forums, that can provide helpful insights and connections with others who understand what you're going through.

[@ionicatoms]

This is exactly what my wife is going through. She has refused to admit that this is a midlife crisis for the past nine months. I have been gaslit every which way. The chaos is exactly right.

[@LarryBilotta]

It may be tempting to try to get her to admit that she's going through a midlife crisis, or send her resources that might help her, but very rarely (almost never) is this a productive conversation and approach. This is for two reasons. 1) She views everything you do and say as a threat 2) She is not in a place where she's ready to learn. She's in pain right now and she believes you are the source of her pain. It's easy to take this personally, but this is common with the majority of women (and men) in a midlife crisis.

[@AngelaKruepke]

Thank you for all of the great info!! This is so good to know!!

[@LarryBilotta]

Absolutely!

[@wadethomas3908]

Wow so eye-opening

[@LarryBilotta]

Glad to hear that!

[@LarryBilotta]

Thanks for watching! Have you found your self wondering - what is a midlife crisis? Tell me what you're facing below.👇

[@ccpoundher5268]

I love you Larry. Do you have any materials or videos that one can share with ones spouse that is in a midlife crisis…?

[@LarryBilotta]

@@ccpoundher5268 This is a good question and a common one. As tempting as it may be to send books, resources and videos to a spouse in midlife crisis, this often backfires because everything you do and say is a threat and they are not ready to learn in their current condition. Many people make the mistake of assuming the midlife crisis spouse will immediately see the light and snap out of it, but many will completely deny what is happening and instead place all blame on you. If they reach out to you for help or guidance, there's a chance they may want to learn, but until then it does more harm than good. You can watch this related midlife crisis video for similar mistakes to avoid: kzbin.info/www/bejne/d2rLdHx6gcqgqsk The only way to get through to a man or woman in midlife crisis is by changing your own internal environment. In other words, change your energy or vibe that you are giving off. Behavior changes backfire because they see it as "if you could have, you would have" and any behavior-based changes you make are only an artificial attempt to get them back.

[@edneiakryczka4004]

My husband left Home few months ago he turned 40 and few weeks after he changed completely he was all The time talking about his past how traumatic he cried he lashed out on me and our 8 years old Daughter I tried manny times To Save our marriage during the 4 months he stayed home but he didn’t wanted he was terrible he said horrible things . Extremely Selfish . Now he is living on his “own” very selfish and don’t care about us

[@LarryBilotta]

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot of pain and uncertainty. Dealing with a spouse in midlife crisis can be incredibly difficult, especially when it's accompanied by such drastic changes in behavior and selfish tendencies. It's important to remember that your husband's actions are a reflection of the pain he's experiencing, rather than a deliberate attempt to hurt you. It's also important to prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of your daughter during this challenging time. If you need some coping strategies, I'm here to offer support.

[@Tom-i5v]

Interesting perspective

[@RobinWhatthef]

Can a relationship survive a mLc?

[@LarryBilotta]

Yes it can, but it is more likely to survive if the "staying spouse" understands what their partner is going through and has tools to navigate this difficult chapter of life. You can find more info on this here: surviveamidlifecrisis.com/

[@jennylay5969]

How long does this usually last in a man at 45. He finally made piece with his mom that he has resented for an affair on his dad and then he turns and does the same to me after 20 years of marriage

[@LarryBilotta]

There is another midlife crisis video in this series that may answer your question: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nWm2knZ5brN7mLs It is very typical for a man (or woman) to repeat events that occurred during childhood. In essence, he is reenacting what his subconscious tells him to do. It's his brain's way of recreating what is "normal" based on what happened during ages 1-10.

[@t-pain3343]

My wife did the same. Her dad had an affair and broke up a young family. Then, my wife did the exact same thing to me by cheating and wanting a divorce. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

[@indyd9322]

Thanks for making this video. This is exactly what's happening in my marriage. My normally sane and calm spouse radically changed, and is acting like a rebellous teenager who sees me as his enemy. When I try to calmly and rationally talk him down from impulsive and destructive behaviors, he says things like: "I don't care about the money" and "You only live once!". He wants a divorce now, even though it will destroy our previously comfortable and stable life. It's like he wants to take everything we have previously built over many years and watch it burn, because he is unhappy. Sadlly, my words have lost all power to reach him.

[@LarryBilotta]

I'm glad you found this video helpful. You are so right that your words don't have power to reach your husband. Many people don't realize this, but the way to reach a spouse in midlife crisis is through the energy you create, not in the behavior you do. The most important for you right now is become a student of energy. Energy is what you think, what you imagine and what you feel. It's the vibe you give off when the two of you are sitting in the same room and no one is saying a word. If you're feeling angry, resentful, fearful, his "monster" feeds off this "against energy" which only drives his unpredictable behavior more and pushes the two of you further apart. What I am suggesting to you is that you think, imagine and feel what you want to happen, rather than dwelling on "what's going on" as everyone around you does. "What's going on" makes you obsess over behavior. Behavior can easily be manipulated but your vibration cannot. Your vibe is real and it changes him because he knows the feeling is real. You need to change your vibe by changing what you think, imagine and feel about him. Here's a small list of how you COULD think about him even though he doesn't deserve it. Treasure him. Enjoy him. Be delighted in his ways. See the best in him. Find the good in him. Look for every good thing. Think of him. Focus on his best. Search for his talents. Tell them what's good about him. Honor his ideas. Notice his smallest positives. Meet his tiniest needs. Help him find solutions. He is pure gold. He is the Rolls-Royce. He is the eighth wonder. You are his greatest gift. Ignore his every failure Forget his every weakness. Think these thoughts, imagine these pictures, feel these feelings. This is what creates and focuses energy and if you continue to do it day after day, you will see a positive change in his behavior.