What is Love Bombing in Dating? The EARLY Red Flags You Need to Know!

[@kimdavis7966]

I wish I knew about this before my last relationship. Major love bombing, ended badly, lessons learned.

[@EdelweisSusie]

Same here - I was 38, divorced and because I’m not usually someone who attracts men, fell hook line and sinker for all the flattery and attention: he literally made me feel like I never had before. He was the love of my life and dated 5 years but he hid £30k of debt from me and when he was in deep trouble (and knew I’d find out) he abandoned me. Oh I learned the hard way!

[@trevabrandonscharf9055]

Even the smartest of us get fooled. Now you're smarter and wiser!

[@christopherdavid1561]

I listened to this because I was worried I (m34) and doing it to my girlfriend (f53). I do constantly tell her how much I love her, how beautiful her personality is, and how attractive she is. She has told me it’s too much, and I am trying hard to work on it. My ex girlfriend, who I spent 10 years with, was not the loving type at all, and was not open to compliments. I think that has a lot to do with why I am so hyper-affectionate. I really like this channel because even though it focuses more on the female perspective, I am learning a lot about how I can be a better partner to my gal 👍

[@doihavetohaveachannel8289]

I enjoy listening to your channel. Now I just need a date.

[@2ndActTV]

😊Glad you enjoy it! Thanks for watching!

[@trevabrandonscharf9055]

You're going to get a date, don't worry.

[@Wildevis]

I think we all experienced so many of these things before there were names given to them. I did not know what a Narcissist was until after my husband passed away and then I understood his behaviour and now I am so much more aware of it. Same with love bombing and all the other bad behaviours. We have so much more information, but I agree with Treva, do not get so suspicious and cynical that you lose or discard the genuine people who are truly attracted to you

[@2ndActTV]

Yes, always a good reminder! Thanks Erika!

[@ScottFollansbee-b6p]

I lost my wife of 46 years to breast cancer a couple years ago. Living by myself along with my inherent personality lead me to love bombing some former friends of mine that resulted in my losing their friendship. In my desperation to try to achieve some normalcy I overcompensated in my attempts to fill some of the void in my life but at the time, was not able to identify what went wrong. This video has helped me become much clearer on how to not repeat the same mistakes when I move cross country soon and start the next chapter in my life. Thank You.

[@davereynolds7104]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject given the fact that I have never heard that expression.

[@2ndActTV]

Thanks for watching! Glad you liked it!

[@trevabrandonscharf9055]

Keep watching, Dave! You'll learn something every time!

[@ThomasKennedy-h9b]

Great video….you both are very entertaining and enlightening!!👍

[@2ndActTV]

Thanks Thomas, appreciate the nice feedback 🤗

[@33Jenesis]

The best way to deal with love bomb (gifts, expensive meals, in your face, loads of romantic word salad/text too early on) is to keep the person at arm’s length and tell him/her in the plainest words that he or she makes you uncomfortable (if you don’t like gifts, extravagant meals, or word salad). The purpose of love bomb is to lock down a person to surrender or be trapped in love. The bomber is either insecure, controlling, or narcissistic thus in such a hurry to win over a new person quickly. The one thing they lack is patience. By keeping them at arm’s length and refuse to be swayed, they would have meltdowns and frustration, thus the mask would drop faster. There are plenty of potential victims out there. Let them abandon the time wasting and ungrateful ship that is you to pursue someone else.

[@2ndActTV]

GREAT explanation!! Thanks for your comment!

[@davereynolds7104]

I will, thank you!

[@woodliceworm4565]

It can also be that the person doing the love bombing doesn't know any other way to connect with people. The problem is, that they are likely pathological with engaging in the other aspects of relationships. The personality disordered, can get bored or be looking for a servant, or a slave, chances are the love bombing will lead to a degraded relationship and a horrible divorce later. You cant help feeling sorry for them in a way, but if you are lucky, they will, like a spinning top exit your life quickly for someone else or something better - if not lucky the love bombing stops, once you are entangled and you will have years of negative attention. In effect the love bombing is a smoke screen for their bad behaviours, that they don't want you to see - they are unaware of this so they never fix the behaviours - The bottom line - is - that you, are not their psychologist and they don't want to change, and when they see better they will be gone.

[@davereynolds7104]

I very much enjoy your channel, on the episode about love bombing, what is the time frame into the relationship that when you do say I love you isn’t considered love bombing? 🤔

[@2ndActTV]

That’s a good question, in fact I believe we did a video on that a few years ago. There really is no concrete answer, everyone is different and some do fall in love at first sight. 😊 In my opinion, it certainly isn’t in a couple of days or weeks, which falls into the “love bombing” range. You might “feel like” you’re falling in love, but don’t say it yet. For me, I think around 6 months would be the earliest, that wouldn’t seem “weird”. Again, everyone is different, but certainly NOT on the second date. Thanks for your question!

[@majorbloodnok6659]

I experienced this and I was wary but I'd known her for a while before we started dating and so lowered my guard. Four months and then she dumped me, out of the blue, at Christmas. I think she is emotionally immature (perhaps a topic for discussion) despite being 55 (I'm 60). I think Treva is spot on in what she says here; it very much echoes my experience.

[@2ndActTV]

Thanks for sharing your experience, it’s always good to know you are not the only one!

[@2ndActTV]

… and yes, “emotionally immature” could make a great topic! Thanks!

[@majorbloodnok6659]

@@2ndActTV Absolutely

[@eddy2561]

I've read love bombing is a common behavior of narcissistic jerks who start off love bombing...My current girlfriend was love bombed by a guy who, she told me, that when he slipped a ring on her finger everything changed. He turned into a malignant narcissistic jerk who became super controlling. Apparently, it became very dangerous for her, including emotional and physical abuse, to the point that even a restraining order didn't stop him. Understandably, she was overly cautious when we first started dating, it took me many months to earn her trust.

[@2ndActTV]

Hi Eddy! You describe a VERY typical love bombing scenario. And yes, it often is narcissistic and dangerous! Thanks for sharing and being patient. Your girlfriend is very lucky 🍀

[@eddy2561]

@@2ndActTV Thank you Silke...

[@MyFrankieee]

Can relate to this it seems to burn out quick when you catch on to someone trying to love bomb you yes embarrassing but also a relief 😮I watched a film about Charls Bronson and a a lady he was really interested in told him she did not want to carry on seeing him as he had no ambition lol that was the least of her worries I should think 😂this is before he got locked up for a very long time he did except what she said though ! thanking my favourite date coaches for a awesome podcast ❤as usual xx oh and must get the book

[@2ndActTV]

Thanks for saying that, appreciate your supportive feedback! We all need that from time to time 🤗

[@ivararnesen4115]

Weird stuff. Being European I do not get it. I adore women, but the giving of gifts are so away from my life. We want to co-exist. Are we not equeal? My economic status do not make a difference. What about meeting in the middle? Treva has a bass-guitar? Let's talk. I do not come across as a nerd, do I`?

[@karynreed8936]

I thought the love bombing was when they immediately start calling you, honey, dear or sweetie. I can’t stand that. I’ve had to remind many men of my name, several times.

[@johnlangley6449]

A gateway to domestic violence 😢

[@melissachartres3219]

Women love to be around dark triad men and find them entertaining.