What is Psychotic Depression?

[@DrTraceyMarks]

WATCH NEXT - *Feeling Depressed vs Having Depression - How To Tell the Difference* kzbin.info/www/bejne/b4PXiottpZiAgdk

[@sunset33533]

The book "30 Days to Reduce Depression" by Harper Daniels uses a mindfulness approach. Share it! It can really help someone. Mindfulness is like a personal trainer for the mind.

[@aseriesoftriangleswecalltr6065]

Thank you very much for this clear and helpful explanations.

[@hello7646]

How can i stop being depressed?

[@aseriesoftriangleswecalltr6065]

@@hello7646 Talk to people or a professional about it. Speak with your doc about it and think about medication.

[@hello7646]

@@aseriesoftriangleswecalltr6065 already tried that but it doesn't help me

[@shroomshroom5945]

“When depression hits, it takes your will.” Could not of explained that better

[@VladaldTrumptin]

Yes

[@sanacole1543]

not "have" explained...

[@shroomshroom5945]

@@sanacole1543 F off

[@shroomshroom5945]

@@LeashaAli god forbid I didn’t say it perfect but it still means the same thing 😂

[@sanacole1543]

@@shroomshroom5945 best regards dear!

[@lmnop29]

"It takes 6-9 months for the brain to recover from a depressive episode." UUMMM WHAT 😭

[@archaicamusement3871]

@@lynnepaquette4124 Honey, do your treatment. Don't think about how long; think about you are feeling better. That's key. It doesn't matter if you need treatment for life. What matters is that you can have a better quality of life. Keep strong. 💪

[@Broadbeansy]

@@Tinyteacher1111 Really sorry to hear that, here in the UK, mental help is available on the NHS

[@anthonyisk704]

@@Tinyteacher1111 try Dr Dominic Sportelli

[@Tinyteacher1111]

@@Broadbeansy How very lucky you are!

[@Tinyteacher1111]

@@anthonyisk704 Never heard of him, but I’ll check it out. It’s, I’m sure, frim the mold he’s living in!

[@AWishingWell]

im at that level of depression where i dont even feel suicidal anymore, just like im already dead Edit 2 years later: To those who mention they feel the same, I am proud of you for making it through the nights no one knows were hard for you. You came into this world for a reason, out of thousands of odds, you are alive. It is important that you stay with us and become who you are meant to be. Your perspective is important to us. I care about you and the future cares for you too. The way you feel matters. What you want matters. I would say you are strong but you do not have to be. It is okay to cry and be upset and to let yourself feel. My advice to dealing with depression is expressing gratitude, especially inward. Major Depression is a disability, you are not choosing this. Simply as you wouldn't fault someone for their disability, you cannot be faulted for your brain challenging you in a different way. Always remember, If the greatest thing you did today was stay alive, I am proud of you. When you feel brave enough I hope you trial medication to assist as I take a few daily now and work a social job I would have fainted hearing about 3 years ago. I wish you all the best and I am so happy you all took time to connect with my feelings

[@mikaakuma3582]

Same, kinda like living in static in my opinion:/ its neither uncomfortable nor comfortable, its hard to even care/notice it half the time lol

[@victoria5846]

@@healthyone100 me to and I attempted but didn't work

[@healthyone100]

@@victoria5846 i'm doing a little better this week i hope it continues Take Care!

[@victoria5846]

@@healthyone100 I’m really glad to hear that.

[@angelyncortes8808]

i can relate with that. i feel like am a living dead. i dont feel emotions. im neither happy nor sad. im no longer suicidal and i cant even shed a single tear. i use to cry a lot.

[@colorgreen8728]

“It’s simply not a choice, when depression hits to hard, it takes over your will” thank you! Finally someone said it

[@BernStoogin]

Tell that to my family. Apparently I'm just a lazy POS

[@hellzreaper1192]

​@BernStoogin you are not a pos. You are a winner, a champion, whatever is is your going through, you got this my friend.

[@jodytahoe4242]

Yeah, I've watched videos of "doctors" telling people to just don't feel depressed and take a walk or exercise. Lol, that will work. That for people that's sad not depressed

[@Seraphim13518]

Ur WEAK

[@yass3336]

​@jodytahoe4242 it will. We just have to fight a lot harder than others.

[@everythingsbetterinpink2649]

I had a gut feeling someone was coming into my apartment after I left. My apartment would smell different, closed doors would be open. After a few months I purchased smoke detector cameras & caught my building’s maintenance man coming in sniffing my dirty laundry while doing disgusting things. Everyone I told my gut feel to thought I was crazy.

[@minnie7700]

EverythingsbetterinPink 😱

[@JessG_20]

Omg it's a good thing you caught him! What ended up happening? Did he get arrested?

[@everythingsbetterinpink2649]

jgo07 He got fired that’s it.

[@jameslovesjesus2033]

@@everythingsbetterinpink2649 You should file a civil suit.

[@SoyoyoS]

@@jameslovesjesus2033 Yes please OP, consider this.

[@cristidarling2595]

When my depression gets out of hand I start having delusions that I’m being spied on, people are talking about me, I’m being drugged before bed time. It’s weird because I’m aware that my train of thought isn’t normal but it’s so real to me in the moment.

[@ricardoestrada1176]

Crisyi smoke a little bit of hydro it'll put you to sleep it helps you with the anxiety medical use only do not be afraid to smoke it also helps you with your blood pressure takes the pain away may God bless you and your family

[@beautyfrompainxxx]

I have this too it’s awful

[@ninahmacph7119]

My first dinner outside the house gave me delusions mainly on other people that are talking about me it felt so real too

[@ricardoestrada1176]

Ninah Have a wonderful happy New Year May God bless you and your family

[@jamiemccornack5770]

I wish this feeling would go away.. no matter what I do, it lingers

[@zacrussell4267]

Personally, my depression made it to where I didn’t feel real; a lot of disassociation and depersonalization. Like I was in hell or even a simulation/ and like I was viewing myself from the ceiling of places I am in outside of my body. I feel that treatment resistant depression usually morphs into keeping you separate from reality in those type of ways or even turns into something else. When it’s severe enough it makes your whole world change to a numb/ silvery delusional setting.

[@drinkwalter9346]

I keep telling people that there are natural resources that works and don’t have side effects, I recommend you try out psychedelic mushroom, micro dosing psychedelic mushroom was the best decision I made to beat depression , not only ketamine makes you feel like a zombie with no emotions but other antidepressants that don’t work a bit, you should definitely try psychedelic mushroom, I had depression and anxiety but after treating myself with psychedelic mushroom I was more efficient in all I did , I’m in my 40’s and I’m breaking barriers, I get it from an online vendor that specializes in the trade of psychedelic products all natural from the earth and no side effects

[@drinkwalter9346]

*Wellmans11*

[@Payote88]

Don’t do mushrooms.. seek professional help if you feel you need it bro.

[@drinkwalter9346]

@@Payote88 I did and nothing happened

[@oli9234]

me

[@gledwood9108]

I had a friend from university who had a psychotic breakdown, ended up homeless with many people assuming she was "on drugs" except she wasn't. She nearly killed herself by running out in front of a car. I have to say I was pretty disgusted by people's attitudes among our circle of friends, including people who really should have known better. I have had psychosis but it was more manic than depressive. But for the most part expecting people to understand psychosis is like asking someone to comprehend the incomprehensible -- it's so far away from everyday life they just can't do it.

[@aodhmacraynall8932]

When we was growing up in the depression my mommer always said the same thing. Now we didn't have much during the depression but you know it was more than a lot of people had and we was thankful to the good lord for it. Now my daddy couldn't find a lot of work but he did the best he could and mommer would take in washing sometimes to make ends meet and her and daddy growed a garden and so we always had fresh vegetables, sometimes there werent' enough but we was always thankful, even when it was sad and depressing. That's what I remember about the depression, it was always sad and depressing. but we would invited family and friends over when we had enough and setting there at that table with all our friends around us we knowed everthang was gone be alright. We didn't want there to be no war because we loved everbody but then thangs got so bad that Franklin D. Roosevelt decided he was gone fight the depression for his people even though he was rich and the depression didn't hurt him he loved his people and everbody else enough he wanted everbody to overcome the depression and so he fought the depression and then he got together with Winston churchill and Joseph Stalin, two other great men and Winston Churchill had said that it weren't right for the Germans to be doing so well and not be in a depression because Hitler had put his people to work building and planting and so Winston Churchill decided he was gone kill the Notsies and Franklin D. Roosevelt decided he would kill the Notzies so they joined Joseph Stalin and started the war. Now that was bad but you know what. They was able to build a bomb plant and my daddy got him a job there making bombs for Winston Churchill to drop and burn up Notsy childern. And we was happy cause we was fightin evil people but not Joseph Stalin all them people he had killed deserved it. And all them Indians and Irish poeple Churchill had killed was evil. They was probably racists or something. And then Franklin D. Roosevelt finally defeated the Notsies and made the world safe for Jews and thats why America is such a happy place today. Thank you. I appreciate you letting me tell my stories on youtube/.

[@aodhmacraynall8932]

@Affected Area Amen!

[@shyaaammeneen63]

Gled Wood, God has given us life to enjoy. Meditation is the practical way to handle anxiety. Watch alternate nostril breathing meditation videos on Google search and do this simple meditation for 10 to 15 minutes morning and night. Your mind will be reprogrammed to relax. You can sit on a chair and do this meditation. Inhale and exhale slowly. You can also read the benefits of alternate nostril breathing meditation on Google search. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir, Mentor. Make meditation a daily habit

[@annettegreengreen7374]

I got evicted in 2004 and sofa surf still and have housing issues and it’s all too much when I am pseudo adult and inner child I can’t move forward in any way until this is resolved feel very angry as I can’t relax and learn 🙃🙃🙃😩

[@AlexSmith-tw3nf]

I went off of my anti depressants bc they made me feel really sick and crazy and didnt help at all

[@squeezyjibbz7407]

I feel like my self-worth is so fragile that even the smallest correction of error or criticism feels like enough to make me plummet. It's hard maintaining confidence.

[@piptheprofit1004]

Same

[@ryanabarca8616]

The trick to self worth is doing things you deem valuable. Make yourself valuable to feel valuable. It's so easy to fall into this depression trap of low self esteem that makes you not want to do a thing to fix it which in turn makes bad feelings about one self even worse. Life isn't a movie or a game where the hack to life will click w you and you'll be able to just be the person you always wanted to be. You gotta put in the shitty ground work that NOBODY wants to do. Until you do these things and make YOURSELF proud of yourself you're not going to just receive the feelings of self value randomly. This is a trap I fell into atleast and now looking back I realize where my lack of confidence was coming from and it's funny how clear it is after the fact but I could not for the life of me figure out what I needed to do in order to be confident enough in myself to just be myself. Changed a lot for me once I was able to do this. Hope you get it too.

[@kky.x]

Its almost as if all these mental disorders exist because we haven’t evolved to live in this modern world of selfish sex worshipping consumerism. We’re tribal creatures who thrive in the communities they’ve torn away from us and replaced with digital fake communities on social media monopoly platforms. Sorry, there goes my nihilistic depression again :)

[@333rdAlchemist]

Sounds like you need to address some past trauma

[@ConnerMacKenzie]

Same man

[@Betternow1974]

This type of depression is nothing short of hell.

[@thewordofgod2369]

20:124) And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed life, and We will gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind.” QURAN.

[@Moszan]

@@thewordofgod2369 The last thing people needed.

[@Betternow1974]

@GamePlayer jumping off the golden gate was an option for me several times

[@mariannegill4789]

I’m so sorry.

[@mariannegill4789]

I hope you you have found or will find relief soon❤️

[@Laura-l7c8k]

Sometimes people suffer from “psychotic depression” because what happened to them was psychotic and turned into depression you aren’t crazy ❤

[@mandacarly-sb2vp]

That's what I've been trying to put into words forever! Thanks

[@DEUTSCHLAND.007]

I agree 💯 Living with or crossing paths with a psychopath for a period of time can expose you to such traumatic events that triggers your psychotic episodes. At least I experienced that..

[@brettolstad71]

Omg thank you ❤

[@od1401]

I remember having it as a teenager. One particular thing that sticks in my mind was weird paranoia like thinking people could read my mind as I walked past them so I stopped thinking as I walked by. Probably still messed up in many ways but somehow pulled through and at least achieved a basic level of survival.

[@Rose-xe7oj]

I have the same fear, but I'm trying to shake it. I'm glad you're doing better!

[@ilou9129]

I was so out of it that I convinced myself that the Justice League was real and that I should try to get recruited

[@kinkyii2405]

I feel that and times people b smiling at me and I b freaky out like sum wrong w me but then I feel if I think then boom it gets to me but if I don't think and own my shit I b good. I was doing good for a few days but today I'm back to how I even 4 years and I really can't get over myself or love myself shit crazy but it's okay tho imma pull tho just taking forever. but if I don't think then wtf imma do just b nothing and if I think imma b looking crazy staring people in they eyes like what's up you got sum to say to me type shit but they always look away and when they look at me I look back and stare. wish I could just hide and help people out

[@rachellestringer]

I was about to say I thought that a lot as a kid, but I realized I did that today. And the freaky thing was he started a conversation about something right after I thought it 😳 and it happens a lottttt

[@SoulReaperSlayer19]

I’ve felt this also, especially around my dad. I thinks severe abuse from someone can cause this to develop.

[@tynadarco9038]

Never heard it takes 9mos to recover from a depression episode. It was good to heard this. We live in a society that thinks we can snap out of it like we have control of our depression. If we could control it we would not have it to begin with.

[@skyblue486]

Exactly. I hate it when my family and friends tell me to shake it off or snap out of it.

[@johnmcpudding857]

I know this is anecdotal evidence, but I can personally vouch for 9 months being about right amount of time to get rid of the *depression* , but dealing with the *aftermath* and underlying issues pre-depression requires x-amount more. It takes a lot just to accept things as they are, so you can finally start improving your life with healthy head on your shoulders.

[@johnmcpudding857]

@@skyblue486 People who haven't experienced prolonged depression themselves can not truly ever understand the experience and how overwhelming it is. Do your best to hold your ground, but please also try to merciful towards those who don't truly understand your suffering. Embrace every small victory you get. no matter how seemingly insignificant, Rome wasn't built in a day. But don't berate yourself for your ''failures'' either, because there are people who have failed and then there are liars, it's perfectly OK to fuck up. You are not alone.

[@Brxwn9]

@@johnmcpudding857 Thank you so much. You really are the shine that cheers on others.

[@skyblue486]

@@johnmcpudding857 🙏🏼❤

[@adelinas.7335]

I never heard talk about depression in such a direct way. Most people tip toe around the facts on the matter. She’s very open and honest about the spectrum related to the depressive state from mild to truly psychotic behavior. We need more discussions like these.

[@krissi42085]

Adalina I couldn't agree with you more! ✌️💖☯️🙋

[@breprince1205]

Because that’s her job

[@daniellarsson3699]

Dont think medicine can help you get rid of the underlying causes. Its there to help you cope with the symptoms. Its still the Psychiatrists/Psycholigists job to get you to the bottom of your problem, and resolve the underlying cause off it. Medicine may help you on the way there tho.

[@paulsletten8985]

Well, she's a doctor at this so...yes. Correct terms and honest.

[@blackmarketyardsale]

This is very common for those of us educated in mental health. This is just a very academic, simplified overview of depression. Those not interested in academic presentations of this information will not see it in the same positive light you did.

[@blamethenoobs]

In the world where everybody is an expert without any credentials whatsoever, it's nice to see someone that actually knows what they're talking about. I'm glad I found this channel.

[@WHYUALWAYZLYIN]

Ahh yes those internet Dr. Phil types are a trigger.

[@akiradaichi3780]

she said "believing that some entity is removing your organs at night... to sell overseas" yeah she really knows that she's talking about... come on there's people with real problems out there

[@funnyman645]

I stopped doing drugs I stopped drinking I stopped smoking I started working out trying to get my body back into better shape and I’m still suffering from mental issues I don’t feel like I’m actually in peoples life’s I’m just on the outskirts of it after listening to you I realize I need to seek help it’s not something I change on my own. One way to describe it is I can feel vibes from people but I have not a single vibe myself.

[@goop6007]

you have a good vibe bro

[@user-hv6nl3cz1z]

While its risky af but if you find therapy and medications to not help and your out of options Try some psychedelics It has by far the most impact on a person out of anything i've seen but it can go both ways if your not careful and ignore the rules

[@Fluffymck]

Now I don’t feel alone because u understand me

[@CoolSpongee]

Been there bro, I even stop smoking weed and cigarettes after taking them everyday for years but nothing change mentally. I ended up taking medical pills I’ve been ignore for a long time. Make yourself busy and talk to someone who understands also helps a lot. And don’t listen to that guy saying to try psychedelic, not worth the risk.

[@CoolSpongee]

For everyone struggling and see this message. You can get better. You are more capable than you know it, don’t give up alright.

[@realtalk8474]

My mother died by suicide in 2011 and was diagnosed with psychotic depression. This is precisely what she experienced. Now my 19 year old is recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder with psychosis and is being hospitalized for the second time in a month. I find your videos very informative and helpful.

[@_786RP]

Stay Strong ....never give up ....not a cliched message.....i mean every word

[@JenJenChronicallyChIll]

I'm so sorry.. my condolences 💜 That must be so hard. My brother has been in the hospital over 5 weeks now after a severe manic episode. We're just now seeing glimpses of the "real him" 😔

[@kenner5208]

What’s truly sad though? Is that the people who are suffering, truly don’t understand how much seeing them struggle affects you and how you have to just be the strong one even though it’s so fucking hard

[@LilPoopsie]

@@kenner5208 Are you serious? So depressed people should just magically suck it up because other people feel bad? Pretty sure they're already tired of giving a crap of what others think. Imagine making someone else's depression about yourself, like sorry their depression inconveniences you smh 🙄

[@himehomemi5642]

​​@@LilPoopsie Nah he's onto something. One of the few things that would help me get outta my depression was remembering that I had people around me that were counting on me being there for them. Thats not to say the my mental state improved much because of that, but it was definitely a motivating factor for me to seek help. Edit: Also just wanted to clarify that I don't know what you or the guy you were responding to are going through, just wanted to throw in my 2 cents. I actually see it from both angles since my family has a history of mental illness that I have to manage as well as my own mental illness. Take care and have a good day

[@critterray6742]

In my experience, the more I think about or pay attention to my depression, the more depressed I get or stay. My best years have been when I've forced myself into positions that forced me to expend a lot of energy and time. The most physical jobs I've had coincided with the periods I've suffered the least from my depression.

[@potatoplayer420]

Thats because preoccupied minds can't ruminate. Check out her vid on rumination for more info

[@abirachab6]

Same ,that’s why I dissocialize from everything ,the more you pay attention to your pain the more you feel it

[@soulsearcher7077]

@@abirachab6 dissocialize? what does that mean?

[@pouinkimir]

@@soulsearcher7077 i think they meant dissociate

[@raymondblack524]

Also being physically active is a pretty good way to fight depression. The problem is mustering up the will in the first place.

[@Irishyoutubers]

Be careful with diagnosis when people say they have been watched. After years of trying to convince a psychiatric team, I was under a huge smear campaign. I finally proved them wrong,a narsasistic neighbour made my life hell,he also managed to convince everyone else I was crazy. I applied for my FOI from all authorities after months of waiting. Everything I said was true. So basically, I was put on meds for nothing. Love to anyone who is struggling ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@altenberg-greifenstein]

Wow! 🙀 But at least victory at last.

[@cassandras.2513]

That's one neighbour, in a psychosis there is normally lots of them

[@christislight]

I had a neighbor the same, took 24 years

[@askdomo6955]

You were gangstalked. Happened to me too 😢. Glad you pulled through

[@coalblooded]

That's what terrifies me: sometimes I'm like, "Okay, chill out, you're obviously just being irrationally paranoid." But then I remember that these things DO happen sometimes, and there ARE these shitty people out there that will ruin your life and gaslight you and everything. Anytime I tell anyone about my concerns, I always explain that part of it is likely just me being extra anxious and defensive, but that I'm only that way because of A, B, and C, all of which really happened out of malice and I didn't just dream up. But like they say, just because you're paranoid, that doesn't mean they aren't out to get you lol

[@jamesspiller404]

I was diagnosed with psycotic depression about two years ago now. I remember thinking and absolutely believing that people could hear my thoughts, and thinking that everyone could hear one anothers thoughts and that I was part of some experiment where everyone had to act as though this was not the case. I was placed on a combination of sertraline and quetiapine and feel like I'm actually alive for the first time in years. The idea of seeing a doctor and telling them what I was experiencing was the most terrorizing thing I have ever done, and one of the best. I understand that different drugs impacts everyone differently, but if you are in a similar mindset as I was then whats the worst that could happen? If everyones already out to get you and if you can't trust anyone then your doomed to failure. And if your already doomed, then whats the worst that can happen by asking for help? That was my thought process. Anyone else who is going through this i wish you nothing but the best, your not alone.

[@prairieN]

Thanks for sharing. This takes so much courage. I hope you feel so proud of yourself!

[@Tinyteacher1111]

@@prairieN I agree!

[@Tinyteacher1111]

The drugs you were put on that helped: What were they for, if you don’t mind my asking? Thanks!

[@mellowella3455]

omg i am on sertraline and seroquel as well and it helps so much with the paranoia, anxiety and managing my moods! thanks for sharing!!! :)

[@katr9923]

I understand what you are saying, and find you very courageous for both talking about your symptoms and seeking help, but some of us have been on MANY drugs and different combinations and doses and they HAVE NOT WORKED! Some of these drugs have made me so physically ill, gain weight, raise my cholesterol, etc. I've struggled with these medication problems for many years. I'm glad you found a solution, but not all of us do and yes, getting through each day is a living HELL!

[@thesunbehindthesun1574]

"Heavy feelings in the limbs".....leaden paralysis. Thank you.....finally an actual description I can use now to describe that heavyness. I always will gauge my depression based on how much effort it is to lift objects or do basic chores. Probably one of the worst symptoms. Everything takes so much effort in that state.

[@Noahsoak]

I've had someone tell me they woke up during sleep and couldn't move. Paralysis. Now I know what was going on. :(

[@LDiamondz]

@@Noahsoak That sounds more like 'sleep paralysis'. It's a sleep disorder where you awake and actually can not move. It isn't what the doctor is talking about in this video. There are doctors who treat sleep disorders. It's not a mental disorder. I have several sleep disorders, I've had a few sleep paralysis episodes. They are terrifying. You panic. Not depression related.

[@Tinyteacher1111]

I used to have dreams about that all the time!

[@Tinyteacher1111]

Wow! I thought it was just because I didn’t feel well. I’m recovering from breast implant illness and I still have autoimmune and chronic pain issues. Maybe I’m depressed. I’ve known I am because of the pain and inability to get stuff done while I have 6 or 7 hours of debilitating pain every day, but I never thought about it the other way around.

[@user-dm1zs3xr5u]

I remember during an episode with leaden paralysis, my brain was moving slow, too. I remember having to take time off of work because it was too difficult to do my job & move as fast as everyone else. I sincerely thought I had a serious physical ailment to the point of dying.

[@celestialturtle6665]

For a long time I thought I was experiencing symptoms of schizophrenia and was afraid to tell my therapist I was having delusions that someone was living in my ceiling and was seeing shadowy spots out of the corner of my eye that would be gone once I looked at them. I finally saw somewhere that depression and ptsd can cause psychosis. Thank you for sharing information it makes me feel like I’m not crazy, because I did feel like that for a long time.

[@zegeist333]

Who's gonna tell her...

[@bookywooky2259]

@@zegeist333 No one, because she doesn't have schizophrenia. 🙄 did you not watch the video? I had the same happen to me and when I finally sought help and started medication, everything slowly went to back to normal. And it was determined that I was having psychotic depression. I was thinking the most paranoid crap, thought I was hearing things, was disassociating, etc. But I knew it wasn't exactly real. What is was was a slow onset of psychosis related to severe depression. Psychosis and schizophrenia can really mimic each other, and psychosis can be a symptom of schizophrenia but they are different.

[@zegeist333]

@@bookywooky2259 it's a joke

[@JohnDoe-cq3ii]

@@zegeist333 know your audience

[@bookywooky2259]

@@monicasaenz141 whatever you wrote me was deleted. And I implore you to shut your mouth.

[@TheMysticMage]

Part of the reason that it's so difficult for me is the fact that I've been actually betrayed and hurt and targeted and lied to so many times that I feel like it's always inevitable. For example, I had some very close friends in highschool that helped me get through the day and made life worth living, and then one day they threw a surprise event in my name that was actually an excuse to bully and publicly humiliate me, and it turned out they all thought I was weird and pathetic and they were playing a long con. Things like this have happened to me multiple times in my life, and it's to the point where I can't feel comfortable with my current friends. Even though they genuinely love and care, I just cannot feel loved or safe around them. I'm so anxious that it will happen again, and that it's always inevitable. It doesn't help that my friends are socially awkward and that almost all of them have anxiety issues. When I'm at my lowest and really need someone, they don't know how to help and panic and freeze up and end up just staring at me, not saying anything, which just makes me feel like a fucking idiot and reinforces that they don't care, despite the fact that they assure me that they do care, they just freeze up under pressure Tl;Dr I've been betrayed by almost everyone I love, and I cannot feel loved anymore, and my friends are either unequipped or unwilling to be there for me.

[@bigpumpb.5818]

i have this same exact feeling damn near perfectly describe what i feel honestly if u don’t feel loved by ya friends then there probably not really your friends is the way i see it but this could be dangerous idk

[@arclight7892]

Well i have this feeling that the world is fucked up or unfair, which is kinda true. Only those with money and power will get whatever they want while those who are weak and poor will suffer which is also kinda true.

[@karinbernhardt8747]

Why don't you seek help from professionals, or people with the same expierence. It took me a long time, tbh. But hey, you are worth it. Big hug and kind regards from Amsterdam. this is for you 🎉🌻👍🍀💜🎶😙🐬🐣. Karin.

[@TheMysticMage]

@@karinbernhardt8747 I hope you're enjoying yourself in Amsterdam. I've always wanted to visit! I've sought professional help, but had very negative experience with it. I've had a handful of really unqualified therapists, some of which made things WROSE...and I'm not exactly comfortable going back lol

[@kelseyalexander7460]

Same but w relationships

[@theidiotsacc]

I definitely had this four years ago. I was already diagnosed with clinical depression and started taking meds but I was also very delusional. Sometimes I read the stuff I wrote and can’t believe what I said. I genuinely believed my best friend didn’t truly understand or care about me and that everyone in my life was annoyed by me or hated me. Then a year later she saw me have a mental breakdown and cut myself cause I was mad at myself for the way I acted. After seeing that horrific moment, we’re still best friends to this day. She’s literally like family to me. I lover her so much

[@cheerbyshamontae34]

That’s so great you’ve found your person !!! Not to kill the happiness in that but my “person” told me to do my other wrist and laughed 💀🤣 not funny but …funny..

[@theidiotsacc]

@@cheerbyshamontae34 Jesus Christ. That’s fucked up in any context. I had someone who would pretend to cut for attention while I was over there wearing long sleeves in 90+ degree Alabama heat because I didn’t want anyone to worry about me

[@anee1]

What is the best way to explain this to the person suffering from this? He has persecutory delusions and even though he takes meds and was in psychiatry hospital he doesn't realize he is mentally ill Please help me

[@skepticaldopefeind]

she seeks out broken people and tries to fix them. She doesn't realize she's broken just like the rest of us.

[@jackiemorrow8479]

I have PTSD and depression. I constantly feel like people are out to hurt me..and I am always unhappy. ..

[@notwerkinginthishouse8634]

You won't solve it by doing nothing and expecting from others

[@MickeyMcclendon]

Weed...... I'm not even joking. Weed + happy ass hobby=you can function

[@sk....3049]

There is a book called the power of surrender ... please read it be natural I have cured my depression with this thing

[@jackiemorrow8479]

@@sk....3049 thank you. Who is it by?

[@ThatWyrdGirl]

Before you diagnose yourself with depression make sure you are not just surrounded by a-holes.

[@lacexv]

I have psychotic depression and I often feel like people are talking about me or that random people are in love with me. I also sometimes have visual hallucinations. It is very difficult to live with and the delusions cause me act out. I've been working on it and my mental state is definitely improving.

[@uyagraph]

How are you doing? I hope you're okay now! I believe i do not have psychotic depression but i too feel like that sometimes minus the visual hallucinations. Most of the times when i'm walking outside alone it also feels like i'm slowly losing my consciousness, like that feeling of being in a lucid dream but i know it is just a feeling and not real.

[@iluvbooty]

i hate that some people will use your depression against you to paint you as an inherently broken and unstable person even though it comes after a lifetime of abuse.. 😓

[@LogicCaster]

Dont blame other people. They aren’t in your head, they had their own depression and learned to get over it in one way or another. ALLL human beings WILL AND DO suffer. ALL OF THEM. Its the bravery you must find, life doesn’t get easier you can only get stronger.

[@jakebarton3341]

Depressions a mental illness so yeah u r unstable

[@mick20075]

It's called bullies or toxic or abusive or manipulative 😂😂 It's not hard to figure out no one cares about you and the world loves curroption not good 👍🏻 kids can understand this

[@webeducation]

I think when you add stuff like ADHD, dyslexia, etc to the mix, it produces an outward result that will even further the depression.

[@anyadarlingg]

It's so weird you say that cuz my husband has both of those, along with major depression

[@songbird2335]

Yes. I’m also Bipolar, have anxiety, ADHD in top of severe depression. Real hard.

[@jennifer9047]

Wow. Nihilistic delusions is _exactly_ what I'm having. They're the worst after watching news about US government, elections, geopolitics, the pandemic, the economy, and social unrest. It's been happening ever since March of 2020. So am I suffering from severe depression, or just paying attention?

Both

[@sparekey5840]

"am i suffering from severe depression or just paying attention?"...damn

[@potatoabe900]

Paying attention can sometimes be the cause of depression.

[@sparekey5840]

@@potatoabe900 you're right I've never seen an ignorant person with depression

[@nicoleh5529]

yes AND i also feel like we need to know the religious beliefs of whoever came up with the idea of nihilistic delusion. people who believe in god/a divine purpose simply do not understand that not everyone shares that idea that life DOES have a "purpose" or that it's inherently worth living. i think we make our own meaning, and what i get stuck on is trying to decide whether the pain of life is even worth trying to create meaning from it

[@sherrimandel6983]

It’s so difficult to describe depression to someone who’s never been there because it’s not sadness. Psychedelic are the reason why I didn't take my life when I was at my end.i was stripped of my ego and saw the beauty of life and interconnectivity

[@tessymitch]

Last year, I took shrooms thinking it was going to hit like an edible or something. Shit was scary at first but amazing once you start getting deeper into your thoughts

[@MA-RI-A999COSMIC.DRAGON.TEMPLE]

Yes, psychedelics can be extremely healing. That's why they should be legal for medical use

[@viceactivity]

@@MA-RI-A999COSMIC.DRAGON.TEMPLE absolutely agree

[@philipthomas3938]

@@tessymitch an " inedible" means what? Drugs jargon for something?

[@SHADOWpHO3NIX33]

@@philipthomas3938 an edible is usually a form of thc that people eat, like a marijuana brownie

[@morganamarianana3088]

I had the nihilistic delusion that nothing matters and everything, life itself included, had no meaning. I thought so for a loooooong time, now I feel better and I'm into the process of fully becoming a positive nihilist! Nothing matters? And so what! My life is one and I might just live it and enjoy it as best as I can

[@SpaceCattttt]

Life only matters if you think it matters. Society tries to force us to care, but it's entirely optional. If you're happy or unhappy only matters to you. Are you happy? Good for you. Are you not? Do something about it. Or don't. I'm too busy figuring out if I have a point to worry about your point.

[@dreama.]

Give me A REASON anything matters ,, Most people care but i'm sick of trying to get out of bed and start having chest pains , like i cannot breathe I'm sick of people telling me to get up when i explain them i can't I'm now taking medicine that my doctors told me to , it doesn't help What's the reason If nothing gives me a reason of living , If i never truly feelt like i'm truly living life I've tried finding hobbys ,i have one but everytime i try to get up and do IT it's like something hits me , it's like all the pain comes back and i'm back in bed. Spending my days doing nothing , i cannot do anything feeling this way

[@SpaceCattttt]

@Dexter I'm not trying to convince anyone. It's irrelevant whether anyone agrees with me or not. Objectively speaking, there's nothing to suggest that life has any greater meaning or purpose, so it seems delusional to me to have this need to make ourselves seem more special and amazing than we are. I mean, it takes guts to accept one's own pointlessness and still choose to get up in the morning. If we have to invent more fanciful versions of ourselves to do the same, that's kind of living a lie, isn't it? I don't know. I'd rather be true to myself than find courage in empty beliefs.

[@z2baggenziz]

The shift from absurdism to existentialism is a good thing to watch

[@igiveup4191]

@@dreama. ay you good homie? I can relate to you man. Life sucks

[@priia]

it's horrifying to think that I actually went through this when I was younger. I can't forget what an incredibly dark place it was. I had treatment and all, but at the end of the day, I almost don't know if I can say what made me better (although I do know what made it worse). I just remember that one day, things kind of snapped and next thing I knew, I was on my way out of the dark.

[@Sameoldfitup]

“Has it ever struck you that life is all memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quick you hardly catch it going?”― Tennessee Williams.

[@janeprescott7381]

That's awesome.

[@wevs3791]

It’s quotes like these that I find very absurd for some reason In my mental state I feel like I just can’t understand the good in that

[@babyslothawful5818]

This made me feel anxious… lol

[@bobobobee9708]

Buddhism’s central tenant really.

[@greenjupiter]

Thanks for a good strong shot of anxiety and dread

[@mijawilson7308]

the way she explained exactly how i feel on a day to day basis made me cry because sometimes i feel so alone and feel like no one understands or believes that’s exactly how i feel

[@AllyMind5Star]

I sincerely wish the best for you, sister.

[@deluded2630]

Remember that you are not alone. Learn to care for yourself, even if it's the little things. You are special, and one of a kind :) I know I might be a random person but I love you, you can do this. I had psychotic depression for a year and met mere insanity, its a tough journey but once you make it though you will be a much stronger person I promise u 🤍

[@chilichicken0959]

You are not alone, and to prove that is me. I have lost hope in everything, and no one understands me. If the world is just numbers, or atoms just existing then why should anything exist? Even if you seem to be alone keep fighting and make that the point, for you

[@hellsbells1576]

Ring your doctor for antidepressants. It's night and day difference and a game changer0

[@AyaDragonheart]

same here. huge relief to see what i probably experienced come up in my feed by chance. i’m grateful for her content.

[@kiak4073]

Could one have delusions about hurting others instead of being hurt? Like for example sometimes when I'm being nice to people I will start questioning my own motive for being nice, that I'm perhaps just manipulating the situation to get what I want. Or that I somehow make people angry. Or that they are thinking ill of me without saying it, because they realized how disgusting and fake I am. I feel like every time I talk to someone because I want affection, my head tells me they would never show affection towards me if it weren't for me making a situation to manipulate them to show kindness to me. If I didn't fool people to do this they would never willingly show love to me.

[@thephenomenologist4669]

That’s a complex thought process, I guess I would as my self; do I honestly have that much control of another’s free will?

[@SM-yz4hi]

I’ve had thoughts like this before, I’d love to know what causes them because they felt so real at the time, but seem quite silly in retrospect

[@leahwilson9152]

Sounds similar to imposter syndrome? Or maybe someone in your life has gaslit you, playing the victim, making you into the bad guy when really they were the one manipulating you.

[@hanayaoliveira1988]

wow very true. I felt like i was being manipulative when i was manipulated to being nice.

[@XYZ-sq7ki]

Could also be OCD

[@fernandaparedes8679]

This video really hits different. I used to be in those stages of depression (didn't see meaning in my existence) but with a psyachatrist's help I've been improving. If someone is feeling this way, please seek help. There is no shame in doing that and little by little you will be able to find meaning to your life ❤️

[@ryantaube6546]

❤

[@helloworld7818]

Well I totally feel this way but at the same time I am better than in the past. in the past I usually wanted to kill myself.

[@leanzadoodles5354]

Oh my gosh this is the first time I’ve heard about this kind of depression. When I was experiencing my worst suicidal thoughts I was incredibly nihilistic and I felt like everything was horrible and that the world was doomed, and I was legitimately confused why everyone was just going about their lives as if everything was ok?? I thought I was going crazy.

[@Apaxetic]

I'm experiencing that right now! I don't understand how anyone is happy in a hell world like this, but I combat that when I talk to someone I trust and they make me laugh. It's honestly the connection with another human that makes us human, if that makes sense. I don't know but tell everyone you love that you love them! Everyday is fleeting, live in the moment. Hope you feel better now!

[@bonniefnaf9849]

They aren't, the majority of adults have work taking up huge chunks of their life and they just have to push through it because they're so firm on believing that their life is going to be fun eventually.

[@Apaxetic]

@@bonniefnaf9849 jesus..

[@bonniefnaf9849]

@@Apaxetic ((tw suicide mention)) i'm sorry lol, i'm just so fed up of people believing that current life is fun. Most adults have work taking up their life, and it's probably a big reason why people are depressy and want to off themselves. 🐰"

[@agnes7369]

​@@bonniefnaf9849 ​ yeah i'm so tired of this medicalizing the "nihilistic delusions" stuff, people are rightfully angry/hopeless/depressed. their lives are shit and they can do nothing about it. if its not about material poverty its social. and every place is like an airport or a lobby or an office, it lacks life, its all pretend. and people are so lonely. no wonder people are depressed in this world. everyday just eats away at you. and now its called delusions as if depression and nihilistic thought aren't the symptoms of the very real life people are forced to manage and even forced to 'enjoy'. and on top of it all you are encouraged to look at it like it's your own fault if you dont already, that the world is better than ever and that its all in your head, not to question the world we live in. self-policing. truly disgusting to me how this shit gets praised. control is easier if the people you control perceive themselves as free, and delusional if they feel unfree.

[@loganlehmann6418]

Psychotic Depression is very similar to Pure-O OCD, which thrives around consistent and intrusive negative thoughts sometimes involving social groups. It is very easy to get sucked down the rabbit hole and become irritable or drained just on the thought of some sort of social/security sabotage or the intrusive ideas that someone is out to get you. OCD thoughts are like your anxiety voice amplified ten-fold and it is very hard to remove a negative thought or idea because despite all logical reasoning some part of you cannot completely disprove a thought at every given moment.

[@sommersonny]

It is! I was misdiagnosed with OCD for this reason! It’s deffo real!

[@rachellestringer]

Woooooooah that's scary accurate. The biggest source of my depression is what my brain is telling me that other people must be saying about me everyday

[@fenrix155]

@@rachellestringer I get that too, although I’m not so sure it’s just paranoia. If I knew someone like me I’d probably talk about how weird he is behind his back too.

[@rachellestringer]

@@fenrix155 right, that's what we THINK we'd do, but sometimes I see a weirdo in public, I'm like "wow they're really cute and quirky I bet they'd be a cool friend" (it's the hoity toity ones I avoid lol.) But that makes me think I _am_ lovable and quirky and silly. I hold on to those people in my brain so I can revisit them when _I_ look in the mirror. It helps a lot, but you really got to practice it

[@truthh8597]

I went through this.. it’s maddening

[@under_fox4731]

I think the human mind is so fascinating. It’s crazy that it takes so long for a depressive 6-9 months for a Depressive episode to fully be recovered. And how easily it can be to ruin your entire thinking process by things like isolating yourself from everyone and so on.

[@ems8717]

Doctors just wanna cover the symptoms instead of getting trough the root cause.

[@thevrifiedlosr]

My mom is schizophrenic and becoming that way is one of my phobias... Being depressive like this is normal for me but I didn't realize that others experienced this... I'm so happy to not be alone right now.

[@sirdingmydong2107]

Pretty scary to hear this. I've had delusions similar to some she mentioned. I feel like people secretly hate me, or are against me. It's a real mind fuck when your delusions are proven to be true. It's a very strange feeling. I've never been committed, but I attribute that to my ability to stay self aware and grounded. If I didn't have the capacity for that, I would've went insane a long time ago. It's so weird, but also helpful hearing this. You know what's going through your mind is absurd, but you convince yourself of it. The hardest monsters to battle are the ones that reside within yourself.

[@TTAmber]

I feel similar. I'm thankful for my self awareness because it's kept me grounded in reality, but I also hate that it strikes fear in me the moment I realize that I'm thinking something very outside of reality and that I might be this close to completely losing my mind or will have some sort of snap that will forever change my life. It's like the untreated depression and anxiety actually did get worse and became this much bigger, scarier thing 😅

[@labaccident2010]

Yeah that’s…yeah. I also fall into the thought process that everyone is talking about me behind my back and pretending to be nice to my face. I’ve been trying to give myself little reminders during episodes that it’s NOT that way but I can’t afford treatment so it’s hard.

[@Psych_Major_Blonde]

It’s not a delusion if it turns out to be true. I chalk that up to intuition, not gaslighting yourself.

[@_peepee_]

imo if you just think people hate you and dont have anything more extreme thats more likely garden-variety depression or social anxiety (though im not an expert obviously)

[@andrek6920]

@@Psych_Major_Blonde Its an important intuition as well. Although perhaps extreme and also overly sensitive in the modern world. But historically it would be important to realize if the people around you hate you so that you can either fix your relations or be prepared for them to attack you or exile you, things that would likely be death sentences even when prepared but absolutely death sentences when caught off guard.

[@jacksplague3050]

That moment when you realize that you had undiagnosed psychotic depression for 3 years and somehow got through it naturally

[@jacksplague3050]

@Marco Antonio Hernandez Balandran i just started looking up things that used to interest me when i was younger. Learned a lot about physics, electrical engineering, and random things like that. Distracting myself by learning things that used to interest me just kind of slowly leveled me out eventually. It took a long time, but it’s honestly still working to this day

[@marinavictoria9411]

@Daniel Crumble that's amazing. You're completely right too. Hobbies are really, really important. And getting out of the house.

[@cannonballlight4939]

Then maybe you didn’t have psychotic depression and instead had depression?

[@iithax01]

@@marinavictoria9411 it does until it doesn’t work anymore and you’re just working or exercising while constantly thinking

[@jacksonrelaxin3425]

@@cannonballlight4939 he’s a doctor who diagnosed himself

[@intorpere]

I've had major depression all my life, but in recent years, especially since the pandemic derailed efforts to get it turned around, I've been struggling with the feeling of everything being pointless. Going anywhere, doing anything, life itself. I didn't know this was considered psychotic depression. On one hand, it does feel delusional, but on the other, it seems all too logical. What we consider important is just a feeling. There's nothing objective to prove the value we place in our goals and ambitions, in what we have or what we want, or in our lives. It seems like the idea that anything matters is the real delusion, but it's a delusion that we're supposed to have, to be healthy and functional. "Just because I have psychotic depression doesn't mean life isn't pointless.."

[@juanblanco7898]

You're absolutely right, brother

[@rachellestringer]

Yeah I have all that and the scary part is no matter how hard you Kling on to those hobbies and goals that you know you require to be able to get up in the morning when you feel one slipping out of your interest it's so terrifying because it's all you had left that made you happy and not end at all

[@intorpere]

@@rachellestringer Yeah, I really only have one thing left, and I cling to it with the desperation of someone who's life depends on it.

[@FLdancer00]

Facts my dude. This is the hardest part about my depression, trying to get people to see the logic. I understand my depression makes my view worse, but it doesn't mean I'm totally wrong either. A lot of life is really pointless.

[@assassinaria]

Life definitely is pointless. Sooner or later you will die. Just enjoy the 100 year window you have access to this thing we call life. It can be enjoyable. Especially with the understanding that none of it matters. Enjoy!

[@truescotsman4103]

I've been in therapy for 20 years I know I have depression they say I'm bipolar too. After watching this video I think I have a combination of all types of depression. I grew up in a house with parents who were hardcore drug addicts who physically abused us and then abandoned us in the street as teenagers. I was traumatized so many times I feel dead inside. I was never hugged or loved properly never validated never appreciated. As a matter of fact my parents hated me because I was a symbol of their failure I followed them around like a puppy dog trying to get the attention and the love that I thought I deserved but it never came and then they died. My brother was murdered when I was 28. My sister went sideways after my parents died and took all the money and the property and told me I was always the whole problem with our family and hung up on me and hasn't spoken to me since. I don't know whether to be depressed or if I am actually depression personified. Doesn't matter anymore the struggle to survive consumes every hour of my life. I'm 58 I'll be gone soon no time for depression

[@shivani99999]

im so sorry!!! sending a hug to u❤️🤗❤️

[@jm4c952]

I see you and hear you. Stay strong and you got this! I know my words may not be enough but please just keep going :) I care!

[@RuthNyatichi-m5f]

Atleast your 58 I'm 21 and I'm going through depression with no medical attention it's been a year now

[@truescotsman4103]

@@RuthNyatichi-m5fI've been depressed since I was a young child maybe 7. Today I'm dead. I feel like death. I'm incapable of suicide or it would have happened. Life sucks then you wake up tomorrow.

[@girlboss7807]

Sending you love and a big hug!!! 🤗 JESUS always

[@TheUnknownWanderer]

The leaden paralysis part really hit me, I’ve been judged and shit on so bad in my life since those who don’t deal with severe depression &?confuse this with laziness rather than trying to understand. It’ll drive you to the brink of insanity.

[@thehashaztec7398]

Sorry you had to go through that, literally been in the same position before... People are ignorant to what they don't know or understand 💯

[@oswaldcarter8607]

Hell yea

[@Rose-xe7oj]

It hit me to, but in a way it was nice to hear that others experience the same thing.

[@4.etharia]

I didn’t even know there was a technical term for this. I used to have this happen to me quite a lot a few years ago, it still happens every now and then but recently it’s started to happen more. This is good to know I guess lol

[@shimmer8289]

I had it. I've been depressed more and more as I lost my mobility. B4 I took early retirement I went for years taking 2 hours from alarm at 6 am to get my body to move out of bed. Every step was that leaden. I'd come home str8 after work lay in my bed til next day I wanted to dissapear. I've had a hip replacement and still I'm depressed as it's been very very difficult. I'm hoping and praying I will walk again and become more like my normal self.

[@kelleymcf]

I’ve been through this type of psychotic depression before. Like a decade ago. I was exactly like what she described in the video about nihilistic depression and said out loud during group when I was in an intensive outpatient therapy program: nothing seems to matter anymore, what’s the point, I feel dead, etc. Some girl got really mad at me for it, never understood that but I just brushed it off as her own processing. Anyway, it was so bad that I was like… what’s the point of therapy too, and just checked myself out of the program. Anyway, I lived with my aunt at the time and she went out a lot and would drag me out with her and I just kind of numbingly went along cause whatever. And then I thought to myself randomly one day as I watched all these ppl do life… well feck, if I’m not gonna die, then let me just see what this whole living thing is all about. I can just do whatever, I’m not afraid of death cause I was suicidal and I’m basically already dead inside! So I did random stuff I never did before and weirdly enough I became an adrenaline junkie and it got me out of that funk and led me to a long ass healing journey. (sky diving, traveling solo, backpacking solo, trying new crazy things, radical outdoor sports, psychedelics, etc. but don’t do this on your own kids, and maybe don’t follow my lead exactly 😅 but I can’t stop anyone lol) I still go through cycles of depression, in one currently. But it’s not as bad as it was before. Sometimes it feels like I took several steps back, but realized that it’s only 1 step back, and every time I get back up and move forward, it’s several steps forward so I’m still making progress when it feels I’m relapsing. Sometimes I’m just holding on to hope that may not be real but idk it’s worked so far… for once in my life, the good has started to outweigh the bad. So I get through every depression and hold on to feel the good things that have become so worth it to live. Praying for everyone who’s really going through it right now. It may feel and look hopeless but I believe it isn’t. Stay strong and hopeful homies ✊🏼 I believe that you can find that silver lining and sliver of light that’ll guide you out of the midst of your darkness, too.

[@patriciamharris5664]

🙏👍 Z R awesome!!

[@rebebecc]

reading this made me tear up. thank you for sharing.

[@jessb465]

Thank you, genuinely, for sharing so openly. Every damn word felt like my own, such similar experiences. Depression loves to have us believing we are oh-so-alone, but damn, if we aren’t living the same plots. Did you find any purpose yet? Any sense of “what it’s all for”? They kept saying it got better when I was a kid, but 20 years later and I’ve not yet, found that to be my truth.

[@kaitlynzuniga]

wow, this is my exact story too haha, except the psychedelics made it worse. becoming an adrenaline junkie after a very long depressive episode and actually consistently taking my medication saved my life. solo backpacking trips to different cities and states changed my perspective on everything

[@TheGrowthUp]

You are truly heaven sent Ms. Kelley! Thank you for existing 🥲💜

[@almasakic1148]

For me I really struggle almost daily with this feeling that people secretly resent or hate me, or are trying to get me to fail. I feel this most at work and it interferes with my effectiveness at work. It's very hard because I've been proven right with that a few times in life, but now I think that's the case ALL the time. I don't know how to trust again.

[@adeptusmechanicus1029]

I feel what you're saying

[@NS-xt5wv]

I’m going through a similar experience 😩 you’re not alone!

[@EvartSantillan-sm9be]

Same 😢 also with relatives

[@denabaird935]

I ended up losing a job I had 20 years due to problems at work from my paranoia. The ironic thing is I was fired from a mental hospital. Hypocrites or what?

[@Rin_Chawngthu]

Me too! After taking paroxetine ithe feeling was enhanced, plus increased negative thoughts

[@Marcus96s]

It all makes sense now… I’ve never felt so depressed and unproductive in my life. I constantly tell myself “I need to do this and that” but all I do is lay in bed. I’m drowning financially and mentally but I still don’t get up and do anything even tho I know I’ll end up homeless soon. I try I really do but nothing ever breaks through. I am scared that I can’t handle it much longer

[@kupofdirt6509]

Hpw are you today?

[@Marcus96s]

@@kupofdirt6509 hanging in there

[@cellyjordan2138]

I am so sorry that you're going through this. It breaks my heart. Do you have family or friends that you can talk to?

[@Barqop]

Talk to someone, hopefully someone close. You have to learn to break through YOURSELF with THEIR help

[@JadedConversation]

Thanks for sharing, honestly this makes me feel WAY less alone bc same. life is just not as great as i thought it would be on my own.

[@creator_toast]

When I first was hit with depression, my mom told me that I wouldn’t care about anything if I was really depressed. She basically said that my depression wasn’t bad enough to actually be depression. And yeah, having that feeling of my feelings being invalid made it worse, and I eventually ended up with severe depression because my mom didn’t believe me.

[@elisworld341]

I’m sorry you didn’t have support

[@nextozzyt5844]

In 12 minutes I got more answers than in my while life with therapists

[@marteenee88]

Xxxtentacion ???!!!!???? Really

[@persistentlypathetic6820]

@@marteenee88 he has a lot of fans, get over it.

[@marteenee88]

@@persistentlypathetic6820 homophobe(aka closeted gay men) and woman beater entered the chat.

[@MissShembre]

This is helpful, and yes, when you're so deep in the depression, you forget what it's like to feel normal, and therefore you can't do a reality check to get out of it. It's not fun and it's not fun to look back when you come out of it.

[@lewislawrence8408]

I truly saw the level of depression I was in when I caught my hand in a blender and felt absolutely nothing,no pain or any sense of danger.

[@danicadanicadanica6584]

I saw the level of mine when I caught myself giving happy endings down at the Vietnamese massage parlor. I felt nothing too, no shame, no concern about even washing my hands between clients. They didn’t even pay me enough to cover my rent. I have a college degree, I have no problems getting good jobs. My depression did this.

[@riioas5543]

How does one get there hand caught in a blender?! I think you got more problems then just depression

[@lewislawrence8408]

@@riioas5543 you have no idea

[@retepnosbig4859]

​@@danicadanicadanica6584hey i got $5? catch up later??? 👍

[@fortheloveofgod7258]

STOP... no, really... STOP.​@@retepnosbig4859

[@shaimoyed7858]

Me having another major depressive episode: * Can't eat, hard to wake up, no energy, no sense of time or reality, harming habits as a reaction to the lack of sensation, existential nihilism, no longer taking care of myself, not talking, etc. * My school counselor: This is not a threat BUT if you don't continue to complete your weekly work, I can't help you anymore, and will be turning you over to a truancy officer to keep you in line. Me, who is struggling with the will to live because nothing matters and I don't have the motivation to make those around me hopeful: Sounds like a threat to me, idkkkk. Might as well be honest in that aspect. Especially if you're trying to motivate me with a legal scare. Counselor, now pissed that I would say such a thing. Me, still not having enough in me to play an act for him: I'm not sorry. It's true. Edit: ik this is rude and out of line, I really struggle during episodes. I'm just using it as an example of a situation that occurred.

[@ggggmmm71]

not rude, you're right it is a threat and your counselor got defensive. they legit were trying to motivate you with a legal scare.

[@degenkami2933]

That sucks, theres so many incompetent psychiatrists out there its insane. This is why we stay stuck in illness. They were totally in the wrong btw, dont blame yourself for calling them out on their BS

[@nmg6248]

It’s not rude at all. Instead of trying to help you your counselor is being threatening and destructive. You don’t have to apologize for seeing things as they really are and speaking your mind. I think the apology comes when we realize the retaliation of these people could really hurt us

[@Apaxetic]

Counselors are the worst for therapy! And I'm glad you stuck up for yourself. Please though, talk to someone you trust when you feel nihilistic, it really helps.

[@anniehuang4370]

Where are u from?

[@zarkos2313]

Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.

[@JamesTaylor-ff4dp]

Psychedelic’s definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again again but it’s just so hard to source out of there.

[@carsonelias4594]

Yes, bergwilly111

[@mirabelwatson7863]

A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels

[@jorgparker2463]

@@carsonelias4594Is he on insta ?

[@Armus187]

bergwilly111 is the best, he's been my go to for anything psychedelics.

[@OfficiallySarabi]

I felt more understood in the first three and a half minutes of this video than i have in my entire 27 years on this earth. I cannot even begin to describe how validating that it, and how helpful it is to finally have vocabulary to talk about what I'm going through. Especially the "leaden paralysis" thing. I tried to explain to my most recent therapist that it's not even that I don't want to do things, it's just that my body feels so heavy sometimes that I am physically unable to move it. Their response was for me to "just get up and do it." I have since stopped seeing that therapist.

[@beadingbelle3486]

I have this, & was diagnosed as having M.E. (myalgic encephalo mylitis) & fibromyalgia, which can be caused by long term abuse, & also cptsd, so maybe you could get those checked out as to the cause. M.E. also can cause depression & hullucinations. I've had depression since age 14 because of the environment i grew up in, & the body keeps the score (The Body Keeps The Score is also the title of a great self help book).

[@OfficiallySarabi]

@@beadingbelle3486 oop, you have also discovered several other things I have so maybe I should get checked out for M.E. from what I heard, ME isn't curable, right? Just manageable? mind you, i haven't don't any research yet so this is just a general impression)

[@beadingbelle3486]

@@OfficiallySarabi yes, that's right-no cure,just manage it as best as poss.Its different for everyone, tho some symptoms are the same.Also fibromyalgia can go hand in hand with it-i have both. Fibro is more joint,muscle&bone pain,whereas ME is more the neurological & paychological symptoms. Both can encompass the allergiea & intolerances. Pacing is favoured (not doing too much of one activity at a time even things like reading & watching tv as they are draining too) with frequent rests, bulding up slowly, with frequent intake of starcy food to keep adrenaline out of the blood stream oe at least to a minmum & keep glucose levels up.Theybare both thought of as energy-balancing conditions. There's not been much research done so ordinary doctors & gp's dont tend to know much about it, & some dont believe they even exist, & some think it's just all called fibro & that they're both the same. The website foggyfriends is quite good. Hope that helps.

[@beadingbelle3486]

Sorry-starchy food (few bites of potato seems to work well for me).

[@MordechaiKNyamekye]

Ah...that. Hmm.

[@Warlanda]

you're a treasure, Dr. Marks; thank you

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You're welcome Warlanda and thank you!

[@bigjonisback]

@@DrTraceyMarks could you tell me is leaden paralysis the same as psychomotor retardation?

[@SAMEntalhealth]

@@bigjonisback similar, but different

[@justinhopper5941]

Dealt with Dysthymia for many years and would isolate a lot, and I think the delusions can really be made worse from isolation. I’m used to being alone a lot and don’t get paranoid unless I don’t sleep for days. But I will say important to have social contact if you are in that state, even if it’s briefly on the phone. You can lose your mind if you’re completely isolated too long.

[@asma-mushtaq]

✨🎯

[@Eight-Bit-Hustler]

❤

[@chiefd.nelson1719]

May depend on the true TRUTH

[@justinhopper5941]

@@chiefd.nelson1719 lol 😂 ok buddy

[@navyblue9355]

I also have dysthymia and had a nervous breakdown (failed 5 classes, could only crochet inside my room, had psychotic features like described in this video) in 2021 because of how isolated I was doing university online. A lot of my friends could go back to campus because their programs were smaller so it felt like the whole world had moved on without me. I'm still trying to rebuild myself nearly 2 years later.

[@trinidadjames8875]

After 22 years in this world, I finally learn I'm not alone in my issues. A blessing. Great video! Gives me hope!

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Yeah you're not alone but you're alone in that you are the only one that can save yourself. You can get all the help and fellowship but if you don't want it, it isn't going to happen.

[@saracane9668]

My 18 yr old is bipolar w/ PTSD. Trust me when I say that they "want it." But they CAN'T. That's when treatment comes in. But you do have to FIGHT like hell in order to manage the symptoms of mental health disease and disorders.

[@WaterBuizel]

if you ever down just remember you got gold all in your watch, and im thinking about you and i love you 💫❤️‍🔥

[@pistre14]

How that young man with 22 years can even be depressed, when I was in tat years (13 years ago) I didn't know what to do first, I was all the place, driving my opel calibra, having girfriends, doing lot of things with my friends, great years, after studing work is just boring and take lot of time but still how can somebody be in that condition, that don't have any use been depresed even if you are

[@1happypiranha]

You can lose your whole teenage and young adult years to mental illness. I did. 14yrs old to mid 20’s was the worst.

[@sam_i_am_.]

Leaden paralysis! I've always felt like I'm weighed down and like it's hard to move; like I've got a hundred lead blankets from the dentist's office on top of me. For some reason knowing it is an actual thing with an actual name is comforting.

[@thekarmicdf]

I love that you don't make anti depressants permanent. So many psychiatrists will force you to stay on it for yearsss. I had to taper off myself cause my doctor refused. I was on 7 different medications. The withdrawal was awful. But I'm glad I did it.

[@jillianmonks5030]

you should have seen another doctor instead of making that decision yourself, thats really dangerous

[@boinkadoinkk]

@@jillianmonks5030 honestly whenever a dr has been fine with me discontinuing a med they’ve always told me to taper down WAY too quickly. If anything mine weren’t cautious enough with tapering down. I’ve come off meds in the past I ended up have to go at like a quarter of the rate that they originally recommended. They kept saying I’d be fine, but I refused to go that quickly because I literally could not function at all when I did, physically or emotionally. I swear to god a lot of psychiatric prescribers are not educated about how totally disabling withdrawal side effects can be. Going against your Drs advice is genuinely sometimes in your best interest, especially when you are well informed about your condition.

[@philipthomas3938]

@@jillianmonks5030 given Mirtazapine for depression insomnia but it became allergic reaction and stopped immediately... very hard but totally necessary

[@Kylo_en]

It took me 3 psychiatrists before I found one who actually listens to me. My first psychiatrist kept increasing my antidepressants until I went into a full blown manic episode. All because I "still show symptoms of depression".

[@UTOOBISMYTOOB]

​​@@philipthomas3938 Mirtazapine made me more depressed, as did Latuda....

[@apxlloastro888]

watching your videos has actually helped me understand that i’m not a fucked up person just because i have depression and other mental things. so thank you 🙏🏻 coming from me and a lot of other people, you help a lot just by spreading your knowledge

[@thaton100]

My mom was recently diagnosed with this. It was extremely difficult to get her to agree to be hospitalized but she is getting so much better. So if you have a family member going through this, keep fighting. There's hope.

[@alejandrarocha3248]

Thank you!! I strongly believe my grandma is suffering from this and I don't know how to help her! Seeing your comment makes me feel better.

[@elbashar7589]

Hospitlization is traumatizing and it makes most get worse.

[@cccreaturefeature]

Hopefully you live in a country where this mental healthcare is better. Here, this doesn't really help. A lot of the treatment teams in hospitals tend to be wholly insensitive to the mentally ill, and hospitalization is often more traumatizing. Myself, and everyone I know that sought help through hospitalization, came out of it worse. Sad that so many developed countries don't really value mental health enough to change this in a meaningful way. Best of wishes to your mom and your family.

[@fortheloveofgod7258]

❤

[@jamescopeland6428]

It is such a complicated position to be in when you're heading on the downward spiral and start to notice it - which becomes more easily noticeable with experience and time. It's genuinely not easy to broach the subject with anyone, including doctors, that you're seeing and hearing things others aren't. The stigma attached to being sectioned is terrifying, because you can never be certain how another person is going to receive it, so you decide to keep it to yourself. Over time, it becomes more difficult to distinguish hallucination from reality, and eventually you reach a threshold where you feel too vulnerable and exploited to make that distinction; so the safer option is to consider it all reality. The taboo points I feel aren't talked about enough, more often than not because there's a sense of embarrassment and shame attached to it, is what the process entails. You feel weighted to the earth, unable to find the strength or energy to move. You will stay in the same place because it becomes a sanctuary; that means no showers, no getting up to go to the toilet, no brushing your teeth, no washing your hair, because there is a genuine fear that something is waiting for you in the other room just around the corner, waiting to catch you. The phone may ring, but you will not answer it; eventually, the battery will die out and you will not recharge it. If it's a landline, you pull the cable out from the wall. Curtains and blinds are always drawn, and windows will be closed because you don't want to know whether it is sunrise or sunset. The sleeping pattern disappears; you will fall asleep when you pass out from exhaustion, despite not undertaking any physical activity. You don't clean, nor do you take out the rubbish; instead, it compiles around you and just sits there. At first the smells are bad, but you tolerate it. Then you start getting used to it, and eventually you don't smell any of it at all. As time passes you gradually start losing senses, losing connection with reality and begin to feel numb to it all. Suicidal thoughts are in fact a lot more common than most of us are willing to admit, as they can happen on a daily basis, more often than not completely unprovoked and random; the trail of thought simply just wanders there of itself. It establishes a sense of normalcy to it, and next thing you know you're contemplating how you would prefer to die after thinking of many variations on so many occasions. The act itself however is an outer body experience, to this day I've never felt anything quite like it. It is a sudden switch to auto pilot mode where you have absolutely no control over it, and all you can do is just watch as the body does its own thing. There is a moment during the act where you will have a rush of overwhelming feeling, but it soothes away fairly quickly and then you're left in an almost euphoric state which in hindsight is incredibly weird to figure out. My only logical assumption would be that because there is a genuine belief and a craving for some form of peace, then it's welcomed despite the pain it involves - which is another incorrect stigma, as taking an overdose is not a quick means to an end, it is slow and it is very painful. It is such a bad place to be, honestly there's no word strong enough in any language to describe it. Not only is the downward spiral difficult, but the rebound is such a challenge. Clawing your way out of that place when the opportunity presents itself is absolutely exhausting, not because of all the things that require attention (such as your bills, rent, employment, income, etc) but because it feels like you are trying to swim to the surface to get a gasp of fresh air knowing that the clock is ticking. It feels that you are being pulled and pushed back down from an unnatural force. So for anyone who has been to that place, and more importantly managed to make that journey back from it (and chances are that there have been several), then I take my hat off to you - because I know how difficult even that part is. And a moment for all those who have been to that place, but never came back from it; rest in peace.

[@christianramirez7666]

wow Thank you for this comment. You really helped me a lot.

[@nishattasnim5267]

Thank you for putting words to a truly isolating experience

[@greenjupiter]

❤️

[@notkevinacid]

i just moved 500 miles away from the area i've lived my entire life in november, after being basically isolated for a year in my house (after covid), and i've noticed my depression get worse as the days pass. i became a waiter for the first time in a new place, and not having many social interactions at all for a year made me kinda awkward, which caused me to stutter or accidentally talk over someone, which led me to having panic attacks in the back of the restaurant several times. things just drag on, and while i have goals for this year, i doubt myself a lot and really don't know how i'm gonna be able to do anything at this rate. i'm still pushing, day by day, and reading some of these comments at least gives me a sense of community. like, if we're gonna suffer, at least we have a place where we can do it together? idk if that sounds weird but i think it's kind of a beautiful thing hope everyone out there is having a great day

[@daveansell6212]

Join support groups- any groups, keep going. Good luck. 👍

[@VMM34]

I get you. I moved from my place of birth (a village, UK) to a town 7 years ago and haven't worked since. I'm so homesick and won't leave my flat. I was even sectioned 3 years ago and hospitalised. I can't move back due to astronomical rents. I can't live like this, the homesickness physically hurts. People keep saying get out in my new community, but the people are very unfriendly and seriously they don't like my accent either. I can't see any way ahead. And like you I stutter when speaking and cannot interact with anyone, although I was fine before I moved here. I don't even know what the answer is tbh

[@KikiMeowKitty]

I agree ❤❤

[@Poodleinacan]

You could also join some servers on Discord about things you like or KZbinrs you enjoy watching. Join the voice chats and all. You'll still be depressed, but at least you'll have some social interactions. Only time will help you.

[@MissChouza]

Thank you for your comment ❤

[@m0nbebe]

that was so validating. i am bipolar 1 diagnosed and tend to get psychotic during depression and those delusions you listed are exactly like mine, but i for some reason always felt like they werent enough to be "real delusions"... thank you for the informative video!

[@zacharysimone5817]

Hello everyone. I am 41, was sexually abused as a child, being my first memories. I have struggled to live a stable life, and turned to substances to cope. My heroin addiction has come with a healthy side of depression that is always close by. I just want to share that recovery and aa have been good for my mental health. Aside from recovery, the groups have helped me re-socialize myself after periods of depression and isolation. So that is a resource. Also, when I am depressed or having a rough time, I try and reassess my expectations for myself. I make my mental health my priority. My go to is to revert to a very basic list for myself. Eat right, drink water, proper rest, time outside and in nature if possible, shower every day, personal hygiene check, clean my house…. Maybe talk to a person. Haha. But you get the idea. Focus on the basics and get back to feeling normal in a step-by-step manner

[@CasaDeJoker]

I hope u get better dude. Also, everything you mentioned about doing to as bare minimum to feel better is CORRECT. I agree with you 100% i dont do this much sometimes and I feel worse until I do and I start to feel a little better . At least lkng enough to snap out of the downward spiral 🌀 enough to get basic things done and tey to break the cycle of depression and anxiety. Take care buddy. ✌🏻

[@Mega2Sakaura]

I love this, I keep a checklist of the most basic things on a habits app and expand slowly. It always gets me out of my funk ❣️

[@arizonalady7569]

Thank you for sharing this, I will remember you and Always hope for positivity, love and strength for you. Have A great one man!

[@thealleys]

We have traveled a similar road, my friend.

[@show_me_your_kitties]

I love this. You're putting in the work.

[@VietnamAndKoreanFlashbacks]

I had severe depression for decades, nothing worked. Until I tried meditation, I did it every day. It's been one year and my depression I almost non existent, which I thought would never happen

[@elouiserogers7519]

Which meditation did you do that helped?

[@VietnamAndKoreanFlashbacks]

@@elouiserogers7519 if you look up Joe dispenza on youtube, and listen to how he explains how to properly meditate and alter your thoughts. He really doesn't say much on his personal channel, but if you look at the other channels that promote his teachings and apply to you life you will find inner peace and happiness. Trust me I used used to have bad depression I used to road rage, get into physical fights, have thoughts of killing myself and possibly other people and his teachings change my life!

[@elouiserogers7519]

@@VietnamAndKoreanFlashbacks aww wow thats amazing how a technique can help you, I'll definitely be trying it out and see how I get on with it thankyou

[@VietnamAndKoreanFlashbacks]

@@elouiserogers7519 🧘‍♂️💗

[@planetofether5462]

I thought this way of judging the severity of depression was outdated and harmful. There are some very high functioning people with major depression and no one would ever guess until they kill themselves.

[@reuvenknight1575]

Some people without depression kill themselves too. ADHD, OCD, and ASD all have risks of suicide without actual depression. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is a disorder that can make someone go from fine to gone terrifyingly fast.

[@reuvenknight1575]

@M IA neither was Autism until the third edition so what is your point? The DSM is not empirical. Things are added and removed with every edition. It is useful, but it is hardly the last word in psychiatry, especially in other countries, such as England.

[@EmilyElle]

I was going to say this. I was diagnosed with severe depression and while I was undiagnosed, I got 2 degrees and started my dream career. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'd say my depression was severe to moderate the entire time.

[@bigandred2009]

I doubt someone with actual major depression can be high functioning

[@tabi2674]

@@bigandred2009 I used to have severe depression and still went to school and did everything. ignoring my depression made it worse tho. and my mom has bipolar and she was able to get a bachelor's and master's degree with her disability.

[@Ihavenohandle....]

I have realized that I'm a decent person I'm just living in a messed up world but it's easier to convince one person that there's something wrong with them as an individual and medicate them than trying to fix an entire messed up world.

[@altenberg-greifenstein]

*insert standing ovations*

[@bigneon_glitter]

This is great to learn about. My depression was so severe when I was younger, I have a period of memories that I can't tell are real or not. And paralysis is real. A job loss once triggered my underlying depression & I couldn't move for a couple months. It a weird phenomenon that I didn't understand at the time.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

It sounds like you may have had some catatonia. That kind of immobility can happen with severe depression as well.

[@Irene-ji8gh]

Hey, you remind me of me! I’ll never forget my boyfriend’s face when I couldn’t move.

[@dmguk9931]

its truly horrific physically and mentally..smallest of tasks are like mountains to climb.brushing your teeth ..gettin out of bed..eating..its all almost impossible and takes months to resolve if not years

[@lucakat9262]

@@dmguk9931 I have that problem too. I wish there was a video on this and how to get motivated to get out of bed and actually do something with my life.

[@AbbyNormal777]

I had that happen to me after leaving a very stressful job. I was lying on the couch and literally couldn't move. If someone lifted my arm, it just fell back down. I don't know what was happening with me and it was a scary time.

[@chowds8223]

Very informative. I lost a friend and roommate to suicide during the summer last year. He was just beginning treatments with mood stabilizers for bi-polar and manic episodes. Unfortunately, he chose to forgo his medication and instead turn back to alcohol, which ultimately led him to make the sudden decision to end his life. Ever since, I have been looking for more answers as to why he did that, and the ties of delusion to his mental illness make a lot more sense now. They would often be small delusions that we could talk through, such as him forgetting to lock the doors on his truck after work. If he found out they stayed unlocked until the next morning, he would reach out to tell me that someone is deliberately unlocking the doors at night to mess with him. It was near impossible to convince him that he simply forgot to lock them after he got out. In short, I know this is a very late comment on an older video, but I wanted to thank you for helping me to understand what he was going through in his final days. I could not understand at the time how he sincerely believed that everyone was out to get him. I'll forever wish I could have helped him better, but now I am hopeful that I can recognize the signs in the future for anyone I may know going through a similar struggle.

[@Pashaangel_]

😢😢

[@wickedwonka9155]

How did he do it?

[@rebeccajohnson2231]

❤❤❤

[@johnbankas5512]

It is quite interesting how depression could morph into hydra-headed disorders including psychosis if not treated in time. Thanks for your presentations. I really love listening to your willingness to share your knowledge and experience with the world.

[@PanLamda]

I would say that this is not necessary, but probably needs an underlying vulnerability-to-psychosis to reach that level, which is probably partially independent from the vulnerability to depression. For simolicity, if high neuroticism predisposes to depression and/or anxiety disorders, you probably also need high psychoticism, a style of cognition which is related to endorsing weird ideas, conspiracy thinking, strange experiences etc.

[@philipthomas3938]

@@PanLamda so called conspiracies so often become accepted reality that was previously hidden

[@CN-dv9nj]

I worked in a locked door psych hospital and a mental health clinic for six years. Your giving great example of difference’s in the thought and mood expressions of depression and when it’s a clinical depression.

[@denisefuentes7905]

More recently, I’ve developed a nihilistic delusional frame of mind. I’m aware of it. I didn’t know what to call it until I heard you name it. As an elderly woman it makes perfect sense. The fun things in life have faded back into the shadows. Body pain and disfunction progress despite the most sincere efforts. And no I don’t want to volunteer, or join a group, or knit. I can barely stand listening to my peers spit out the same cliches since the flipping 1980’s. Nothing seems new or exciting or worth my efforts. So you see it’s not just a concept to be overcome, it is a working reality. I guess I’ve proved your point.

[@TylerShackleford]

You should eat some mushrooms or look into ketamine therapy. You might be able to regain the novelty in life that you have lost.

[@ramosrod_]

​@@TylerShackleford drugs are cool and all but come on thats the most irresponsible shit you could tell someone. Tripping balls of shrooms probably wont fix your life

[@rebeccajohnson2231]

❤❤❤

[@bjornrie]

​​​@@ramosrod_It's definitely irresponsible to randomly tell someone who is depressed to eat shrooms. However, psilocybin is nevertheless studied as a treatment for depression because there are indicators that it could have a solid antidepressant effect. There's not nearly enough evidence though. But there's a chance it may become available as a treatment in the next 10-20 years.

[@lun4r.h4ze]

I’m 18 and feel the same way. I don’t know how I’m suppose to live a whole life when everything about our society as it is bores me to tears

[@Yod612]

I was diagnosed with Psychotic depression when I was 19. I'm 27 now and this is the first time I've ever seen someone break down what it's like to experience. It is really well done. Thank you. I can send this to loved ones to help them understand why I am the way I am

[@afern2053]

Hi, are you still experiencing it at times or does it completely go away with time? I have a friend who is diagnosed with this right now...I don't know what to do

[@robesncandles]

I can't believe i was courageous enough to search about what was wrong with me lately Also thank you so much for posting this

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You're welcome. I hope you found some answers

[@lori6396]

What you mean?

[@awsometownnuked]

You're not courageous for doing a Google search.

[@stefp6361]

Nelson Williamsen not a lot of people want to face the issue on hand. I know I don’t want to look up symptoms I’m scared of. It seems silly but it’s true.

[@parrotshootist3004]

I hope your issues are easily solved and short lived.

[@jacobmiskomusic]

When I can’t quite hear someone I usually think they’re saying someone cruel about me because people talked behind my back as a kid. It’s such a frustrating mental block to get past.

[@jazmincook4940]

I think I've said to my Mum so many times this month that I feel like I'm going crazy!! This helped so much, to understand what's going on...

[@rebeccajohnson2231]

❤❤❤❤

[@fuzzycublb]

My depression is primarily exhibited in anger nowadays. I’m angry all the time, mostly at myself. Not violent, but filled with intense disdain. I used to have bouts that felt like I was in a deep, dark hole and didn’t have the strength or desire to climb out. That was before going on meds. But, I’ve always been good at covering it with humor. I use humor a lot. The past few years I’ve been really struggling with what I call “unwanted thoughts syndrome.” Constantly remembering embarrassing incidents from my past or things I wish I hadn’t said triggered by the most innocuous thought like, “that’s a pretty color blue… the same color as those shorts I wore when I fell in mud and had to walk home and everyone was staring at me.” Does it ever just go away?

[@SnowyDoe]

Thank you for this, I had no idea Psychotic Depression was a thing but this so perfectly describes my experience when I was at the lowest point of my depression. I spent many nights bawling my eyes out over paranoid ideas that had no foundation in reality but would completely take over my mind. I would also often feel bugs crawling on my skin despite there being nothing there. Back then I couldn't imagine what my life would be without depression, but rTMS helped me immensely when nothing else had. I no longer have any of those symptoms and it still amazes me to compare where I was then to where I am now. I am beyond grateful to have had that treatment available to me. I promise it's worth holding on and there is light on the other side even if you can't see it now. I couldn't see it either, but new treatments are being researched everyday and now I hope I can at least use my recovery to impart that hope to others who need it.

[@janeh4664]

I hope you are recovering and on the way back to a normal life. Bless you

[@SurfingTheMentawais]

A clear and professional analysis. I recently had a 7 month long situation in which I thought I was hearing a particular person's voice being broadcast at me from somewhere outside. It turned out that I was hearing the drone of AC units and water pumps and my brain somehow overlaid a voice to these rhythmic sounds. Unbelievable feeling for me when I was able to self-abort this whole thing. The way I got out of my situation was by doing a Google search and asking if tinnitus ( which I have) was in any way related to hearing extra outside sounds and voices. I came across the subject of auditory hallucination and thought OMG, this is it! That was about a month ago and since that moment the outside voice has not returned. I now feel armed with the knowledge that this came from within and should this reoccur I will be able to rely on this conclusion.

[@refiloendlovu6518]

I’m sad. When she mentioned how the surrounding people don’t notice because it slightly progressed. I wish my family and I were more educated before my aunts passing. 💔

[@kl-ue6zl]

I have totally experienced this to some degree. It's really too bad depression and other mental struggles are not obvious to others like a broken leg, so those who are not struggling can also take this seriously. Thank you for making these clear and concise videos to promote understanding.

[@yukimasahiko]

My mom use to have breakdowns when me and my older brother were children. She thought we were evil at one point, and put us in his room together. Tried tying two doors together to keep us in there. I had to deal with a lot growing up. My brother moved out and I had to deal with it myself. So I bounced around foster care a lot.

[@peggypiercefield5188]

So sorry about this. I ask Jesus to heal your heart.

[@fernanda_zqavala]

My dad's friend had psychotic depression his whole life. Once at a camping trip with my dad and his other friends he hang himself. We were all confused, he seemed so happy and pure. Eventually his mother told us he'd been diagnosed with Psychotic Depression a few weeks before the situation, she also told us he said he'd been experiencing symptoms since a very young age. 7 years later, it's still crazy for me to think about the way he behaved, not knowing what horrible thing he was dealing with. This video made me understand more what he went through, and was covering up. Such a sweet, funny, gentle man.

[@anna-maymoon1001]

I genuinely thought I was losing my mind first time I was left alone in the house by myself. The struggle between logically there not being someone in the house with me and emotionally there being a mad axe murderer in the loft was literally too much for me. It's good to know that it's probably an offshoot for depression and potentially fixable with pills but omg it's horrible feeling like you're losing your mind.

[@carpathianken]

I get dressed up on my bed because I worry about there being a monster under my bed with knives that will try to stab me with them.

[@philipthomas3938]

Haunted houses are real despite all-knowing modern western science saying it's impossible... spirit world

[@Maidaseu]

​@@philipthomas3938 Any evidence? Or is this your delusion talking?

[@Wil-c0r]

"Even existence is senseless" is a feeling I get at LEAST once a day. But there's no mental health support where I live, and lots of stigma

[@fortheloveofgod7258]

❤

[@noahschneider9522]

the paranoia, the delusions of the thoughts of life not mattering are one of the worst things i’ve experienced with it

[@lightpinktulips]

I’ve been there and it was the worst time in my life. It was so bad I checked myself into a facility for help. Thankfully I was paired with an amazing psychiatrist who gave me the Genesight test and helped me regain my life again. ❤ Don’t give up!!

[@Kid4Christ.06]

I had very bad depression symptoms and i was able to function but it was like i had to pretend every second of my life. But it was just like one day, i just felt more angry and petulant. I feel sad only when im alone now. And i constantly have thoughts of my depression symptoms coming back. When it “went away” i was at the point where i had daily suicidal thoughts.

[@alicejackson771]

Delusional depression can cause SO much harm to others. When my elderly mother had it I ended up having to have mental health treatment. I really DIDN'T burgle her but knowing that neighbours and family heard her accusations about me made ill. If this happens to you, stay strong, remember you are not alone, stay busy. Much love!

[@lounirs]

I don't know if i was depressed because i never got diagnosed, but what she said about nihilist depression really resonated with me. Everything seemed pointless, school and studying felt useless, even thinking about humans living on earth seemed abnormal and wrong. Since nothing made sense, i thought a lot about death, but i knew that i couldn't do it because i didn't want the person who find my body to be traumatized, especially if it was my 10 years old sister, or my mom. And since death wasn't a possible exit, I wanted to take the train to Berlin and i didn't have a plan for what I'd do once i was there lmao. In German class, we learned about the groups of marginalised people living in squats and tagging the streets. I wanted to go there, and just live off the street, because nothing was making sense. I planed the trip, what I'd take and it was around the time I eventually got better. I still struggled a lot, but at least the derealization wasn't there anymore. Now, it's the time of the year where things started to get really bad last year, so I'm scared it's gonna happen again, i really don't want to lose control over my life again, and especially get into that state, because it's so easy to just make bad decisions

[@boinkadoinkk]

Depression is generally very easy to self diagnose. By your description you were 100% experiencing clinical depression, no doubt about it. Please see a therapist, even if you don’t think you’re depressed right now it’s so important to learn how to cope with daily life stresses before letting yourself spiral into another depression. Therapy can be a preventative treatment, too. It will also help you heal from the trauma of just experiencing a serious depressive episode because dealing with depression, especially on your own, is definitely a traumatic experience. There was a lot of residual damage and significant trust/confidence issues I still needed to resolve even after my depression lifted.

[@philipthomas3938]

Do you think you're a wiser deeper person with more understanding of the human condition and other people... about important things they don't teach us in school or religion or whatever and wherever they should about this Life Journey on Earth...capitalist materialistic reductionist rationalist worldview we grow up with is inadequate...full spiritual awareness is necessary... Essenes gnostics Cathars Buddhism etc confront the truth alot more than more mainstream religious philosophical scientific etc traditions...direct experience of the unknown beyond mainstream everyday unimportant illusions...

[@charlieguy6872]

Hey, I hope you are doing okay now it's springtime again. I think you should still plan to visit Berlin some day. It really is radical there and as someone who has lived in squats and communities for a while, you will certainly meet people who know how you feel, and you will probably also meet people that force you to get smart and ground yourself because they are much crazier than you are. It's good to get that perspective.

[@lounirs]

@@charlieguy6872 yeah, I'm actually feeling really good right now, it haven't felt down in over a couple of weeks despite exams so yeah, things are looking good. And concerning the Berlin thing, I'd absolutely love to. I really want to travel when I have the mean, and Berlin seems like a really fun place, I hope I'll be able to go, and maybe some day we'll unknowingly cross path

[@angelakatherine]

I'm in that state too... it's like being dead inside

[@gatewoodanimations9753]

“My thinking has gotten so extreme that I think people are trying to harm me” I felt that hard. I overthink 24/7 even when I don’t want to. Sometimes I feel like my thinking is so loud that it leaks out of my brain so other people could hear me. I feel so self conscious and feel like everyone hates me

[@zeeisforzeebra1804]

I had no idea that it can take months to recover from a depressive episode wow. Back in September 2020, I unfortunately suffered a huge episode. I spent most of last year trying to figure out what happened and I felt shitty about myself because I didn’t just “bounce back” and snap completely out of it within a day. Knowing now that my feelings were always valid, that I was right to be patient with myself and that I was actually in recovery and healing, and not the other way around gives me a lot of peace of mind. People were not patient with me, were not compassionate and I lost a lot of friends. Thank you for helping me understand my own experience.

[@tikemyson8541]

How do you know if you’re actually recovering when you are??

[@Barqop]

@@tikemyson8541 You start to not care about other people, and you start caring for your self first. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither will you. Good luck traveler.

[@ninosteam3007]

Took me 3 years. So yeah, it takes time.

[@chelsea8796]

Wow! I always thought depression was just depression. I didn’t know all of these symptoms can sometimes come with it. Thank you for the information.

[@healthyone100]

oh right its more than just depression!

[@klaykitchens6738]

I totally agree-these symptoms are the poison of it all!

[@mpmpmp3456]

Even in the medical field i work, i never seen any doctors explaining symptoms this clearly and specifically thank you doctor

[@mcclendontripzoninstagram4057]

i recommend microdosing mushrooms if you have ptsd, cptsd, adhd or bpd. it really helped me alot, i will always recommend it to anyone. check out my handle a mycologist who got shrooms and directed me as well on this microdosing journey

[@mcclendontripzoninstagram4057]

👆👆

[@skog44]

Very sad to see society struggling and having to rely on meds 😔

[@altenberg-greifenstein]

It is all big business

[@gussetblaster6786]

I went completely and utterly insane after years of constant hardship and misery. It came to a head when me and my girlfriend had an abortion, then I lost my job, ran out of money and was basically homeless and living on other people's couches. I flipped out and tried to gas myself in a car and was luckily found by the police. I woke up in a psychiatric ward about 5 weeks later in a complete daze and was on massive amounts of sedatives and other medication. It was the first time I felt like I was able to have a rest from the nightmare of life for years. I left after about 10 weeks then went on to a rehabilitation centre where I learnt what my issues were really about. I was in there for 6 months and by the time I left I was a new man. Never give up, no matter how dreadful life gets.

[@SF-zc3mm]

This makes a lot of sense. I'm coming out of an abusive relationship with someone who has NPD, and I've experienced that nihilism. Once I started thinking about why were all here and God, I healed. I'm still young and these youtube videos are helping me so much, especially since my brain hasn't stopped developing and it's easier to change.