What is "rationality"?

[@dk6024]

KZbin took its sweet damn time getting me here.

[@allanmigdal3593]

Great video! I just discovered Julia Galef and started watching her content in chronological order. After the first one, I found it interesting that Julia hasn’t yet addressed what seems like a clear example of the tension between epistemic rationality and instrumental rationality: belief in a supreme being. Although it’s still somewhat controversial to discuss, belief in an all-powerful, all-knowing being, despite the lack of empirical evidence, isn’t epistemically rational. Yet, for many people, this belief brings happiness for various reasons. However, there can be serious downsides, especially when it leads to feelings of superiority over non-believers. I hope to see a video where Julia addresses this topic directly.

[@wheredowegofromhere79]

All her videos are so timeless

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more like I hugged you tightly... Vs Think more like I know it's my duty to make you feeling the sense of being secured

[@mervstar]

Your explanations are as clear as your couch in the background.

[@harmoniesplus1345]

In all of its 480p glory

[@neerajpatidar9776]

that's subjective. nice!!!

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as wise as possible since 03:16 AM after 44 minutes Vs Think more as wise as possible with completed 241 minutes of another new Thursday, les with people I saw on my latest dream that woke me up

[@broken_abi6973]

I have noticed that "rational" is generally misused to mean being cold-hearted. As Julia said, being instrumentally rational means acting according to your goals. It doesn't mean that your goals should be devoid of empathy or care.

[@brandonheath6713]

This is a result of someone, you in this case, not understanding the words you use which is ironic given the content of this video. Instrumental rationality quite literally means that the content and quality of your goals is entirely irrelevant. It is the concern with the efficiency at which you achieve any goal. It says nothing about what those goals should be.

[@broken_abi6973]

@@brandonheath6713 Was this a reply to my comment? Are you aware that you just agreed with me?

[@brandonheath6713]

​@@broken_abi6973 It was in response to you and it was more a point of clarification than agreement/disagreement. You said "it doesn't mean your goals have to be devoid of empathy" but that's not exactly right is it? Instrumental Rationality is the idea that whether or not your goals are empathetic or not isn't even worth considering unless it plays a role in your ability to achieve them. Given the meaning of empathy and the fact that empathy is a function of motive and not result these two things are in fact mutually exclusive, though instrumental rationality doesn't require that it produces it as a by product. You can not act with empathy if whether or not you act with empathy depends on a purely personal decision making process that is defined outside of the realm of empathetic consideration. This is a bit like doing the right thing for the wrong reason it is not rational to say that a boy who shows respect to, listens to, and seems to care for a girl is doing a good thing if we know his only motivation is sexual intercourse and the moment that motivation is satisfied his actions will cease. Despite the fact that all these things are inherently good, that isn't the question we ask our selves when we talk about what is "good". Similarly this applies with empathetic action. Sociopaths use pseudo-empathetic observations to achieve the same effects genuine empathy achieves but we recognize this is not genuine empathy. Instrumental Rationality is like this. Even if your goal is altruistic if you were willing to commit non-altruistic actions to achieve it then it can not be considering an altruistic act. If someone loans you money when you need it, expecting the same consideration in return eventually then you've engaged in a transaction with them which has indentured you to them in their eyes and the positive effect it had on you becomes irrelevant. The act is still selfish and meaningless because it's motivations were selfish and expectant. TLDR: It's not reasonable to say that Instrumental Rationality can have anything to do with empathy or altruism at all because the functional result of an action is not the metric we use to define it as empathetic or altruistic. The motivating factor behind the action is and Instrumental Rationality is an exclusively amoral methodology regardless of it's outcome.

[@broken_abi6973]

​@@brandonheath6713 That's exactly the point. Maybe it wasn't clear, but my original comment was directed at people that believe that just because an interlocutor's objectives are less altruistic, it means that he/she is being more "rational". We see this phenomenon happening all the time in political discussions. It's a misunderstanding of what rationality means. Empathy and rationality are completely orthogonal, and for that same reason, the "need for rationality" can't be used as a justification to be an immoral human being.

[@brandonheath6713]

@@broken_abi6973 I'm not sure what your point is, I'm not sure what you're saying makes any sense and it's not helped by the idea that you're using unnecessarily superfluous language for the sake of superfluity instead of specificity. Orthogonal would imply that rationality and empathy have necessary interaction which I don't believe and it doesn't sound like you believe. If you were intending the statistical use instead this still doesn't make sense as statistical orthogonality still implies a shared commonality (in the case of statistics, product. Hopefully you see my point here, esoteric language is only useful when the objective is to clarify beyond what typical language would permit. If your meaning can be unclear then your use of the language is ineffective. That being said... what I think you're trying to tackle is the idea that purity in rationalism is ideal and that this necessarily leads to the idea that a reduction of morality and empathy is also ideal. I admit this is a real ideology people adopt but it is a flawed and stupid one. I say stupid not because it's something I disagree with but because it's contradictory and nonsensical. As I'm sure you were trying to suggest with your cumbersome use of the word orthogonal morality and rationality have little to nothing to do with one another in that they are not functions of the some process. Morality is a way in which we make decisions based on how they effect others, and rationality is the way we make decisions without these considerations. Neither are ultimately good or bad, and neither are objectively superior. They are different methodologies used for making different determinations about different subjects. Morality is useful for social interaction, rationality is useful for truth finding. One is incredibly unlikely to find truth using morality alone and one is equally incredibly unlikely to produce a functional society on rationality alone. If you'll notice I'm not splitting the difference between "Rationality" and "Instrumental Rationality" because they are not different. "Instrumental Rationality" is nothing more than a "degree" to which you are willing to apply rationality in lieu of morality. In the case of "Instrumental Rationality" it is "as much as possible" This is where the misconception, poor defining of terms, and annoying pre-occupation with redefinition of terms to suit arguments brings the debate crashing down. People do not like to fight against the idea of rationality because it is universally recognizable as useful and necessary for day to day life. "Instrumental Rationality" as it is used in debate today is little more a straw man designed to give those who would attack rationality permission to do so publicly. "Instrumental Rationality" is just an effort to tie the word rationality to the behavior of selfishness so those who would attack reason can do so publicly. I expect anyone who wishes to assail the value of reason to have the conviction to do so openly.

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more like I feel just to hug you whole heartedly... Vs Think more like I wanted you to light my daily burdening

[@jonnymahony9402]

What also is a good question that you should ask yourself: What evidence would I accept so that I would change my mind? I always ask this myself and many times it shows missing points in my thinking.

[@sk8rdman]

I often get that from trying to argue a point in writing, while reinforcing my argument to equate for any counterarguments. In the process, I'll sometimes find that my argument didn't actually hold up as well as I originally thought.

[@mdbosley]

@@sk8rdman You only succeed to put yourself in a double bind and fill yourself with stress. Half the people won't listen to your reasons, The other half already agree with you. You have changed nothing.

[@TheSunshineGroup]

@@mdbosley what a shame that you took the time to write this. Understanding is a huge part of the human experience. I’ve gotten communists to see the light in capitalism just by having a calm, respectful conversation. I hope you’re not so pessimistic nowadays.

[@carsoncityboy]

@@TheSunshineGroup Without wishing to engage in political argument and given that there is light and dark in all things, I hope that you have also been able to show a capitalist the light in communism 🙂

[@TheSunshineGroup]

@@carsoncityboy surely I have tried, but it's hard to see the benefits communism has brought for the world other than theory. That being said, I believe most people see the benefits of communism. Capitalists and fascists alike, there is a beauty in the ideal of communism. I feel it's more important to show a communist the way of capitalism as opposed to the other way around, because it's clear that all full on Marxist "experiments" (more or less) have failed miserably. No functioning country in the world survives without [regulated] capitalism at it's core, and it has brought us peace, prosperity, art, and of course, a booming population! I'm only being optimistic, though ;) Lol I turned it into a political conversation! I like to sometimes time my time to write my views on these subjects, I feel like it'll help me better articulate myself.

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as wise as how I deal with my Wednesday since 06:10 AM till 09:49 PM Vs Think more as wise as how I know a single round of commenting is better enough to stay honest in every second

[@variable57]

I used to watch Julia’s bayes themed videos all the time when I was doing data science work so when I saw her pop up in the algorithm recently I’ve watched more videos of hers and the whole thought process/logic/reasoning on life sounded incredibly familiar to my own outlook. I guess I never really thought about “how” I think, but I always knew it was different than most but I just kept it to myself. Not that I was looking for a label or identity, but I’m glad I’m able to now fully and consciously grasp and understand how and why I embrace rationalism. Thank you past Julia from 10 years ago!

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more to always have this goal in mind Vs Think more it's to only way that no one can pull you away from me or until no one can pull me away from you

[@aarongreenberg159]

I've just come across your channel and have never heard so many interesting things explained so clearly by a single KZbinr, thank you for making these videos!

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as wise as possible with yesterday's content related portion from A-Z pattern before my newday's updating Vs Think more the hardest way as wise as possible as I wake up around 04:08 AM

[@fudgelology2030]

Jimnesstar I don't understand you, please reply 🙂

[@fudgelology2030]

Jimnesstar I am your biggest fan

[@johnbiard9417]

I really like the different ways you have examined this word that I used to use only as a synonym for "logical". I think your broader set of definitions are not only more interesting, but provide more fruitful insights.

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more with done is done Vs Think more yet not to be fool by those who give-up when they are down and by those who go beyond limit when they're up

[@phillipmoore9012]

Not to be confused with Rationalism, the epistemological philosophy that places reason above empiricism, which still lends credibility to philosophical arguments with science, which requires empirical evidence.

[@tijan8948]

Phillip Moore thanks finally a clear explanation

[@XxGLOWphoenix]

Libertarians coopting old terms that sound nice.... nothing new

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more deep honestly to trust in self Vs Think more deep honesty before trusting others blindly

[@Valosken]

I LOVE this distinction! Many people are just fine with epistemic rationality, but bad at instrumental (me included).

[@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017]

Yup. The story of my life. I find that folks with early life trauma have serious issues with instrumental rationality because their emotions are feeding them false or misleading signals all the time.

[@tijan8948]

Valosken so boring and stupid. I prefer original thinking than rote repetition of old thinking

[@vaneakatok]

@@tijan8948 bother to explain the link between the two comments?

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more by not interfering others... Vs Think more by not always being fool as a person without knowing things

[@SelfAware1]

I love Julia Galef! Such a powerful intellect! Thanks Julia for your podcast and general contribution!

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more to not forget those sacrificial past years Vs Think more rather than focussing on misfortunes

[@measureofdoubt]

@Bryn -- Sigh, I know. Well, it's KZbin -- I suppose I should just consider myself lucky that no one's calling me a "fucken mor0n!!!!111!," right?

[@rameezjoomun6116]

Well, i dont se bryn's comment, but if it is what i think it is, the topic, then just know that they are stating the truth.

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more not like those who think they always give me a hardest lessons... Vs Think more but as a person who solved their tough problems with super easy methods

[@garrettlees]

Hi Julia, Now that you're ten years older since this video, has there been any change in your thinking? Are there any moments in any of your videos that make you say, "Well, hmph, I don't think that way anymore"?

[@dannny_macdee1015]

GREAT QUESTION! I AM TYPING IN CAPS TO SEE IF JULIA IS STILL PAYING ATTENTION TO THESE OLDER VIDS....IF SO, HEYYYY JULIA, WADDAYASAY? :-)

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as 11 years ago... Vs Think more as a year in which me being a participater in fishing competition in a pond where I actually sleeping nearby right now, who catches only 2 tiny small fishes among 250-350 fishers

[@philbalfour3116]

I clicked on this video to check that the comments section had a focus on looks. I'm proud of you, KZbin.

[@dunrossb]

And here I come to disappoint you after two years, I think she's hot.

[@NoneOfTheAbove123]

@@dunrossb You are not alone.

[@Bytrl]

@@NoneOfTheAbove123 neither are you

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more beyond what lesson I get for sticking to one... Vs Think more beyond what lesson you learnt for not sticking with many

[@ResurrectionTax]

Hi Julia,something unique about that sofa is it for sale?

[@bobbytables464]

Of all the comments ignoring the substance of what Julia is saying and instead telling everyone they like what they see and want to have it, this is by far the least creepy. This man shaves his neck.

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as I completed to comment from your 1st till last video in first round... Vs Think more until I started another round in the next few hours

[@hello987b]

I am confused on why she keeps popping into my recommended.

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as heart of not disturbing to others... Vs Think more as heart of committedly commented to you only

[@grantbarnes3678]

One of my favorites.

[@AnRodz]

I think your combo (body mind spirit) is attractive, so I liked the video. Thanks.

[@zZE94]

I fucking loved your video. Being surrounded by majority of irrational people whom I get fed up of, it is always nice to know there are more rational people like me. The most I do is talk to my friends and try to change their way of thinking to a rational one. Reminds me of this quote - ' The most dangerous phrase in the language is, "We've always done it this way".

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think how truthful you are to me... Vs Think how truthful am I to you

[@darthmix]

In my opinion rationality is probably the only thing in the world that you can actually, realistically use if you are writing a poem and you need something that rhymes with nationality.

[@clarkkent3730]

;)

[@asfarghazanfar1902]

Underrated comment

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more beyond being spiritually matured... Vs Think more being maturedly attached to you

[@BrynWebb18]

5 comments so far, 4 of them referring to your looks/personality... *facepalm* Some of your KZbin viewers need to give their instrumental rationalities an audit.

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more how I feel satisfied when I read my comments from your 1st till your last video... Vs Think more it's a matter of fact to look beyond my self reality through your soul

[@WylliamJudd]

"I suspect people haven't thought too hard about that one." XD

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as long as others put me on pressure and torturing me... Vs Think more as long as they faced their next level of troubles

[@ZXbolterZX]

I sometimes catch myself being extensively rational to the point that I'm being obnoxiously pedantic. Now I just take every interaction slowly and try to just talk less.

[@clarkkent3730]

Change your heart mind and soul through repentance and faith in God (Jesus Christ)

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more why pride goes before destruction... Vs Think more why Grace is much more sufficient for humblers

[@abhishekkhetan]

Rationality is what men lose when they see a beautiful woman like you.

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more with this particular comment that I couldn't complete yesterday Vs Think more as wise as how I haven't started to work on with newday updating

[@fudgelology2030]

Jimnesstar I am your biggest fan

[@kittyluv2564]

Your big round eyes are intoxicating

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more from the moment I woke up while the rain is raining outside a tiny little hut near the fish pond I used to sleep with father... Vs Think more after returning home, after finding out a puppy's vomit inside the extensional store house, cleaning it's poo in the house Compound floor, having a breakfast plate of rice and a cup of tea with a slice piece of beef...

[@skat3r430]

You’re beautiful

[@Eevi-oi]

isnt she so pretty :D :D :D and smart obviously

[@mmassimmo]

She is so close to perfection.

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as a person who hugged you so closely and tightly Vs Think more especially when you feel I'm insecured

[@orb5951]

I know what you are: gorgeous.

[@orb5951]

Wtf did I really comment that lol

[@jayant9151]

Ooof

[@nicolaspalmer7448]

Lmao

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more beyond "don't judge a book by it's cover".. Vs Think fool not yet by outsmarting Elaboraters without mastering the subjects

[@screenflicker1]

Julia, there is god because you're the evidence since there couldn't be a combination of beauty and intelligence rolled up in one package by normal process of evolution

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more with what I believed in self Vs Think more yet not to be fool by what I rely on anybody

[@dawveed84]

Want to become a rationalist? Study quantum mechanics (sarcasm)

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as wise with completed 224 minutes since the moment I wake up and stayed awake Vs Think more the hardest way with incompleted 1237 minutes of Monday

[@fudgelology2030]

Jimnesstar I am your biggest fan

[@l-makthedestroyer7142]

Why are you so goddamn cute

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more the Hardest way as why if we issue brochures regularly, this is quite helpful as the company-related news thar are placing may interests the readers... Vs Think more the Hardest way as how the last step to be performed while preparing a brochure is to include the contact information of the company

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more not to be fool by those who think I'm lost... Vs Think but as a person who found himself in another world

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more till 17:20 PM Vs Think more as Unpeaceful me when I can't find out the four missing chickens, as every evening before sunset they always tried to seek an alternative sheltering place

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more from the image of classy church hymnal book's lyrics... Vs Think more how do you react when "at the cross, at the cross" song being heard in Russian, Spanish, Italian, French, Welsh, Scottish, Hindi, Chinese, Japanese, Arabic etc

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as a person who sleep near you... Vs Think more as person who will never stop looking at you to feel sleepy

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as another 10KM kidney patient my parents used to visit today... Vs Think more yet to fool not by ways of under-estimating or overestimating matched levelling tradition

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as wise as how I struglingly struggled to perceive the reality with mind-blowing reasoning power... Vs Think more as wise as how do I know myself by focusing on one particular you

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more the hardest way since the first comment till this particular video's comment Vs Think more the Hardest way as wise as how I committedly commented ths month

[@fudgelology2030]

Jimnesstar I am your biggest fan

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as I still believe you are in good health, safe and secure Vs Think more I love you Julia

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more not to think what others think... Vs Think more but to live like what I aimed at everyday

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as eat-less, buy-less, poo-less, pee-less, read-less, write-less, walkless, ride-less, sleepless etc Vs Think more as blinked eyes and unstoppable breather

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as possibilities maker in the past... Vs Think more this way to face the future

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more not to be fool by framingly framed people... Vs Think more why one specification focus matter the most

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as wise as beyond how I know about myself Vs Think more as why I downloaded the few selected Animation movie charecter images in real as well as in animated scenes

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more this is how I concluded the Thursday's commenting portion Vs Think more this is how I started to work on with 95% of incompleted portion of newday updating

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more yet not to be fool by relatives neither by neighbours though... Vs Think more not to be fool by their behaviours too

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more the hardest way as how interview films have been said to be the most important contribution of cinema-verite, such as *Clarke's Portrait of Jason (1967)* Vs Think more the hardest way as how Frederick Wiseman also contributed greatly to the US documentary tradition with his many films about American Institutions, including *High School (1968)* and *Welfare (1975)*

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more should I ended up entertaining myself here the same drama again and again... Vs Think more like you know how I feel when it's not what I expected the whole year even after every daily comments

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as wise as how I knowingly know what I know... Vs Think more as wise as how I shouldn't be fool by what I didn't know

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more to fool not to others... Vs Think more by being discipline to self more and more

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more although as time change, people may change... Vs Think more but developing the habit of self satisfaction with what we had matters to create the world a better place to live

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more the hardest way when I cannot fool to myself.... Vs Think more the hardest way when I know my honesty is not a mistake, but a correctly way of living

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as since 11 hours ago I commented to your one year ago face-to-face video Vs Think more as how I rationalise with your 11 years old video

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more yet to rationalise how often being know more is better than earn more... Vs Think more not to be fool by corrupted ways of Science Grant, Mathematics honor payment, Adhoc stuff, Deficit stuff, Managing Committee stuffs etc

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more being not care what everybody cares .. Vs Think more being not to give a damn beyond what everybody else focussing about

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more why just a dream at the end... Vs Think more but as still believing me to make my dream comes to reality

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as wise as possible like you know why I must go beyond what I focused on every time... Vs Think more as wise as how I am happy to win every particular arguments with one simple truth to never lie to self

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as wise as how I let you know what I'm actually doing in every moments for one reason... Vs Think more as wise as possible it's my right to know about you everything in each moments for many reasons

[@JimnesstarLyngdohNonglait]

Think more here's the point why I always feel like you care alot about me, than how I actually think of you every time.. Vs Think more the quickest intuitively way as wise as what makes me feel like you frequently examine me by how approval my honest comments are

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more why I shouldn't be smart matter... Vs Think more why my normality results into making others unhappy

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as last segment of the video I committedly commented in a flow process of continually continuation mood

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more till 08:15 PM Vs Think more the honesty way of living to not Sattle with what's unrighteous but to stick with what's rightous

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as Tuesday among Tuesdays... Vs Think more as Second day of a week among weekly days

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more the hardes as wise as possible with completed 272 minutes of new Sunday here.. Vs Think more the hardest way as wise as possible with incompleted 358 hours of old Saturday there

[@fudgelology2030]

Jimnesstar I am your biggest fan

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more with the joy of being satisfied Vs Think more with joy of going indepth detailed to what I specifically focussing on

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think less as experienced microscopic eyes... Vs Think more as inexperienced telescopic eyes

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more being not afraid of showing the right thing to do... Vs Think more yet not as Hollywood or Bollywood intimaters

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as wise as how I know what is the right thing I have done so far in these 530+ days so far of sticking to you Vs Think more as wise as how you should know what's the best thing for you to make me happy

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as wise as how I know I'm not sticking with immoral soul... Vs Think more as wise as how I know I'm sticking with the original

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more the hardest part to be self always... Vs Think more to learn not how to appreciate the other's businesses

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more until these people who misunderstanding against me this day observe their own mistakes... Vs Think more I didn't care if they fall in Karmas

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more till 03:43 PM Vs Think more as I reached my same resting spot

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as short distance to be set-up newly petrol pump... Vs Think more as neutral drive

[@jimnesstarlyngdohnonglait3468]

Think more as still feeling me you treated me the same level others did treated on me Vs Think more although how closely attached to you privately am I