What is Right Speech?

What did the Buddha have to say about right speech? It was more than just "Don't lie." Some of his conclusions may be helpful to us today in a world of instant communication, both one-to-one and one-to-many.
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[@pritomramphookun]

Apparently the buddha offered five characteristics of right speech: truthful, purposeful, timely, gently delivered, and offered with a heart of loving kindness. So in my understanding, even difficult truths, if necessary to be expressed, should be couched in gentle language not in harsh words.

[@DougsDharma]

Generally so Pritom, though the Buddha's own example of scolding his monks shows that there are times when one has to speak strongly to get a point across. Though in that case it has to be done at the right time and place, and with a heart of loving kindness rather than anger.

[@Avida-l7s]

I am new to Buddhism and despite the fact that I need things to be simplified so I can get it ( and the Buddha though to people in me case and taught with allegory ), I am amazed by the beauty and the truth of some principles I can understand. We are so lucky to be able to have access to the dharma and having people like you Doug to help others to find the path 🙂 I hope you are ok despite the fire you had. Take care and thanks a lot.

[@kunalgulati3358]

I've found it to be one of the most important parts of Eightfold path. Great video as always 🙂👍

[@JotaTondi]

This is something I've been having in my mind on these days. I'm a stand up comedian in the making and I started having a certain desire to talk about issues that are quite part of this divided society, so that led me to conclude that I want people to laugh at stuff that help them leave issues aside and relax. It's important to me because it's what I want for me, I avoid as much as I can to consume and have conversations that do nothing to change this society. Another thing that I realized is that people are focused on what others say, but when it comes to what they say, they act like it's all about the others. So, like you say... it's very important considering this current culture.

[@DougsDharma]

Well said, Juan. And best of luck with your comedy!

[@xiaomaozen]

Excellent video! 🙏🏻 Towards the end the gist of what you say is: We reap what we sow. In Germany we say: Wie Du rufest in den Wald, so es Dir entgegenschallt. Literally translated: The way you call into the forest is the way it echoes back. And in my experience this is damn true. 🙂

[@DougsDharma]

Quite so xiao mao! Great expression, I love it. 😀

[@photistyx]

Very well said! My experience of Internet arguments is much like yours. I would guess that one factor in the development of the current political situation is the social climate caused by harsh speech, particularly in combination with strong views. Many of us have been taught to see propagating and defending strong political views as a duty, which makes it difficult for us to change our views without a sense betraying our ideals, or our group, or our history, or some such. Harsh speech, amplifies this tendency. It makes both the speaker and the listener rigid and defensive and, of course, creates anger and hatred. It is a vicious cycle out of which I hope we can find our way. I think that you set an excellent example of right speech in each of your videos, and in the comments section. You are honest, careful and respectful. To any extent that we can increase it in our societies, it is sure to be beneficial.

[@DougsDharma]

Yes, thanks photistyx. It's a difficult practice and we don't always live up to our ideals but the intention to do better is key.

[@paulomoreira995]

Thank you

[@patrickacolifloresvillasen1731]

Thank you, Doug! You contextualized this well to our modern world.

[@DougsDharma]

My pleasure! Glad you enjoyed.

[@mindfulnegotiating]

Super helpful - thank you so much!

[@DougsDharma]

You’re very welcome Maxwell, thanks for watching. 🙏

[@slohmann1572]

I think it was Mark Twain that would write harsh letters to people who made him mad in some way, then the would keep them for three days. After that, if he still felt like sending it, he would. More often than not, he would not.

[@DougsDharma]

Interesting!

[@thejohnchannel6216]

I’m 5 yrs old. Good 👍 video

[@DougsDharma]

Cool, thanks! 😄

[@jotero-colon526]

This makes me wonder about the use of profanity in speech. Not long ago I ran into an old friend from high school and we went to get some lunch and catch up. He noticed how different I was and even showed concern for my mental well being. When I asked him what made him worried he said that I wasnt cursing and or sharing his views toward one topic or another. It made him feel as though by not engaging in the same type of speech as him that I was in some way judging him. When I asked him if he could elaborate he said that he felt as though I was acting smug and egotistical and that I was somehow looking down on him and felt as though I was acting as If I was better than him. I thought it was interesting that just the lack of some words here or there made him feel ostracised by me. Thats what brought me to this video and I'm still left wondering if "Right Speech" would include or exclude the use of cuss words in certain settings.

[@DougsDharma]

There is nothing specifically about curse words in right speech. However right speech does include avoiding harsh speech, which is related.

[@jotero-colon526]

@@DougsDharma Your videos have really helped me on my journey. Thankyou.

[@nathanjiggens3859]

i feel like self talk could also be mentioned. Shouldn't be abusive or lie to yourself. Bringing up the negative past could be idle chatter.

[@DougsDharma]

Good point, for sure these are things we should pay attention to.

[@jb1876]

Best site for clear information.

[@DougsDharma]

Thanks John, glad you are finding it useful.

[@pritomramphookun]

Excellent explanation...as usual :-) You may consider avoiding background music...i found it distracting. It can also contribute to cognitive overload.

[@DougsDharma]

Yes Pritom, I only used background music in earlier videos. I've moved away from it now and if I use it again it will be very different. 🙂

[@amc903]

please post a video that shows how you meditate, how you breath in meditations, and what dose it mean to be aware of breath verses focusing on breath thanks for all you do!

[@DougsDharma]

I have an earlier video which is an intro to meditation, it might answer some of your questions: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mpnNdKWNfsSMp5Y

[@jacksonbarua7574]

Right speech includes no gossiping.It is easy not to gossip but when anyone wants to gossip with me,what should I do? Noble silence or maintaining speech.I have watched a video of ajahn brahmali on which he mentioned silence is wrong speech.

[@DougsDharma]

It's hard to say Jackson. I also think that some gossip can be useful in providing information to others about situations and people to avoid, and even situations and people to seek out. So I think it may be that the problem with gossip is more if it's just "idle chatter". And then, perhaps noble silence is a good option, or try to turn the conversation to something less "idle".

[@arjunchatterjee875]

a contemporary problem maybe even in return for unkindness we should strive to develop virtue of patience and kindness... be the bigger person and dont get caught up in the tides of foolish blabbering... harmfulness breeds harmfulness and we can get caught up in a bickering storm if we arent careful... restraining ones senses towards developing virtue is the dharma... we can reply in kinder words in response towards challengers too... if we keep our calm and focus on finding the right answer to solve the issues we are better off... the difficulties are only in restraining the wild natures that are our own behaviours... a dark wolf fattened by years of feeding bad behaviour can be ferocious and cause a variety of illness in rehabilitation and withdrawal... keeping a tight leash on such wild beasts is necessary to safeguard the community from danger... Undoubtedly prevention is better than cure in such regards... Never having fallen into the swamp of ill regard it is better to find oneself on clear waters... The religions of the world like buddhism stress on right speech as a key virtue of human life...

[@DougsDharma]

Yes patience is also key.

[@AnjanCombustion]

There are well-meaning friends in this world who sometimes strongly (and even harshly) tell you what you should rather be doing for your own good. At times, their prescriptions are simply wrong and cause agitation and distress in us. They have our best interest in our heart, but they get it all wrong. That does not sound like right speech, isn't it?!

[@DougsDharma]

Hard to say, I think it depends very much on the circumstance. If it's being done out of genuine kindness, at the right time and place, then it might be OK even if it's misconceived.

[@wombewonderful8846]

What about nagging? I tend to nag alot, but I can’t seem to help myself. Or is it wrong speech to defend oneself? If someone is lying things about you. Should you just ignore it ?

[@DougsDharma]

Thanks for the question Emma, it's hard to answer definitively without knowing the specifics. In general, Right Speech is: "Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, and from idle chatter". If nagging is merely divisive or abusive, then it is wrong speech. Also "nagging" has the connotation that one continues to say it even when it is unwelcome and ineffective. That wouldn't be skillful. If speech only serves to make people annoyed, it's probably not worth indulging in. However that isn't to say one shouldn't defend oneself or do one's best to correct falsehoods. It's just that one should choose the right time and place to do so, and do so when one feels it will do the most good.

[@wombewonderful8846]

Ok. Still, Thank you for your answer. I try not to nag so much and be more positive insted.

[@afaegfsgsdef]

I would try to turn the nagging into a positive... Instead of trying to control a person, talk them into wanting to help themself... Nobody likes being told what to do, everyone prefers to do things voluntarily Also consider, are you trying to change someone else for selfish reasons? Is the nagging to make your own life better or theirs?

[@jacksonbarua7574]

Some job interviews want candidates who are talkative.what Buddhism's view about this?

[@DougsDharma]

I don't think that should matter to Buddhism, for a layperson. It would depend what one was saying though.

[@Mayuri-qh7bd]

4:27 U said that one shouldn't lie but lying is not always improper. U said.. we can lie to the Nazis that no one is hiding here. I am super confused here. I have read many texts about Buddhism that said that one shouldn't lie no matter what, even if your or anybody's life is at stake. Pls help ??? Or is it that i am unable to understand what you are trying to say.

[@DougsDharma]

This is a practice, so you will have to decide how you are going to approach such things. To me, the moral precepts are all in the service of kindness and reducing harm. Sometimes conflicts arise between kindness and honesty, or between harm and honesty, and then we have to decide which is more important.

[@alecwk]

We should promote right speech rather than freedom of speech

[@DougsDharma]

Well yes, though part of the way we promote right speech is by allowing people the freedom to make errors, and then correcting them compassionately.

[@sarahclarke4933]

Music is wrong "speech"- distracting idle chatter

[@DougsDharma]

It certainly can be Sarah, and the Buddha recommended monastics avoid it. But many laypeople do find meaning and solace in music, so I doubt it's all bad.

[@composerdoh]

@about 2:30- in certain professional contexts, it's NECESSARY to be self-promoters. For example, on a resume or in a job interview, one really HAS to do the exact OPPOSITE of this teaching. And I once lost a job where, I found out too late, that I in part LOST THE JOB because I was trying to follow this teaching. I would try to be humble, and, while there were other reasons, so to be fair and honest it's entirely possible I would have lost the job anyway, but I'm fairly convinced that, had I really tooted my own horn and managed to misdirect from my shortcomings, and been VERY skillful at that, I might very well have kept that job. So I don't think it's fair- you seemed to imply that we Americans all more or less enjoy or take for granted that we should be self-promoters. I think it would be more accurate to say that, while some Americans are, that the reality is that for better or worse our cultural systems, institutions, and norms are largely set up to reward self-promotion and in some cases punish or brush aside those who don't. That being said, in the spirit of right speech, I would like to thank you so much for making this video. It is so good to be able to listen to this important teaching spoken out loud, and you did a wonderful job making this teaching contemporary and alive! Thank you! Bowing.

[@DougsDharma]

Yes, those are great points composerdoh, I've noticed very much the same thing, even in the small group of KZbinrs and the like! Socially and culturally we're expected to be self-promoters, and if we aren't willing to promote ourselves, we end up losing out. This is part of the problem of a householder lifestyle: we end up being forced to behave in ways that aren't really healthy for us, in order to make a living. It's something to reflect upon! And thanks!

[@composerdoh]

​@@DougsDharma True, thank you again, bowing.

[@sarahclarke4933]

annoying music....better just your lovely voice...too harsh?

[@DougsDharma]

Yes the music was an early experiment that didn't work. No worries, I'm not doing that anymore! 🙂

[@amanda77krOG]

@@DougsDharma Oh good! It's extremely distracting.