What is The Double Empathy Problem and why is it a problem? | Autism talk 4

[@BridgeOfLifeStudio]

Have you heard of the double empathy problem? What do you think about it?

[@lindadunn8787]

@@BridgeOfLifeStudio yes, I've heard of it and until now listening felt overwhelming and confusing. Your presentation landed differently for me and I look forward to relistening and considering recollections of communication gone awry. Also, offhand I'm thinking of inexplicably fitting relationships. I'll use this double empathy idea as a sort of perceptual lens and see what comes of it. Thank you for attending to your comment section. It's an unexpected treat!

[@BridgeOfLifeStudio]

I am so glad to hear the video was helpful! And yes, I try to get back to people commenting, I love to build my little community that way and it makes me happy to connect with my audience 😊

[@MariaJoseRozas]

This lens helped me understand why I didn't relate to my (correct) diagnosis until I met other autistic people later in life. I find allistics' phrasings too totalizing and they find mine totalizing as well, even when both of us make "leaps of faith" rather than "complete sentences set in stone". With autistic people, I've generally had more of the smooth, free-flowing interactions allistics have with each other. This one-sidedness really reflects on the way the DSM-5 criteria is written, and I'm very glad Dr. Milton has come up with a dialectical lens, because this inequality in interpretations has often lead to our epistemic invisibility.

[@BridgeOfLifeStudio]

I think being aware of this can help communication between both parties. Though I think it makes sense that communication within one group feels more smoothly like you noticed yourself.

[@lindadunn8787]

Subscribed. Not ready to comment on the content other than to say I am receiving it with gratitude. 🎉

[@BridgeOfLifeStudio]

Ah thank you so much! This makes my day 😊

[@jeffrey_369]

Really like that you put the emphasis on understanding the diversity in viewpoints. We can all learn from each other!

[@BridgeOfLifeStudio]

Yes I think so too! We are all different and just listening to each other can already be so valuable.

[@jeffrey_369]

Very valuable!

[@heidistories]

This is very interesting, thank you for making a film about this topic :)

[@BridgeOfLifeStudio]

Thank you, I'm glad you found it interesting 😊

[@passaggioalivello]

I am a level 2 autistic human, undiagnosed during childhood, and unfortunately the Double Empathy Problem has always been an issue in this neurotypical dictatorship.

[@BridgeOfLifeStudio]

I think that is the case for a lot of autistic people. Especially when undiagnosed. Though I do think it's often because people just don't know any better.

[@Embarasin]

The double empathy problem can be solved by Choosing the more Vulnerable soul in the Situation .. Ie: if you feel bad for a father who abuses and an abused child .. choose the child. If its two friends. Choose the one less able.. if its between you and another.. sometimes ya gotta put on an oxygen mask. When youre trying to be something for someone else but are losing oxygen under pressure…. (Like a Plane) .. gotta Put mask on and look up(lift up) And regain composure… Seek to be looking out for the one who needs it most but knowing sometimes in the weirdest idk momenta to keep helping you gotta help yourself first .. It might feel like B’trail to a double em’path.. but Its really about honesty with yourself.. and saying ya need a minute moment’tow .. to Keep going. Martyring wont work.. with double empathy.. it causes resentment and Burn out. Knowing tap out. Allows someone else a chance to be empathic when ur unable for whatever reason. Hope this helps

[@BridgeOfLifeStudio]

While this can help, it's not really what the the double empathy problem is about. The double empathy problem is where two people don't quite understand eachother because their brain works in a different way. It's not about choosing who to put first or empathize with. It's about two parties having difficulty to see each others viewpoint and not realizing it from eachother.

[@Embarasin]

@@BridgeOfLifeStudio thats where you gotta put yourself in a judges position and determine based on the least impacting.. thats what i meant about Your empathy versus theirs .. and you also knowing they are viewing it differently. You gotta pull yourself put it your empathy and determine from a neutral position..

[@kaisfp]

Why they call it double empathy? Why don't they call it double communication or double worldview or something like that?

[@BridgeOfLifeStudio]

I think because it's about needing to feel empathy for the other party, which you can only do when you somewhat understand their viewpoint.

[@kaisfp]

I just watched a few videos about empathy VS sympathy VS compassion, now I understand and now I see you are right, thank you. I think I can be very empathetic with someone, but that really only happen if I actually see their problem, their view (in this case, neurotypical people tend to not see autistic people's view, and vice versa, so it really looks like both of them have to understand the other. I am not sure if "understand" is the right word for this, maybe "accept" would be a better word for it. I guess the main problem is that empathy can occur only when both experiences the same thing (in a "meta" way), because for feeling empathy it is necessary to have something to genuinely and fully relate to, and I wrote "meta", becauae what I mean is for example an autistic person can feel empathy for another autistic person feeling alone in a group of neurotypical people, and vice versa, a neurotypical person can feel empathy for another neurotypical person for feeling alone in a group of autiatic people. The empathy is still much less likely to occur on the neurotypical people's side, because the scenerio of 1 neurotypical people being in a group of autistic people is less likely to occur, given the fact how rare ASD Level 1 autistic people are compared to the number of neurottpical people, which is the vast majority. Thanks again, I hope you have a nice day!

[@BridgeOfLifeStudio]

@kaisfp Yes, that exactly! Glad it was helpful 😊 Have a lovely day!

[@lindadunn8787]

​@@kaisfpI like seeing your use of the word "acceptance." I have been practicing DBT for 7 years. It helps me with the somatic and intellectual challenges that compromise effective outcomes. A tenet of DBT is that change is built on acceptance. I'm beyond the age of clinical diagnostics within the medical insurance industry in California where I live. My psychologist has not discouraged my treating myself as if I am neurodivergent. I appreciate and respond well to the tedious specificity of DBT. Thank you for contributing acceptance in your comment.

[@kaisfp]

Oh, thank you so much for mentioning DBT. I had to Google what does it stand for, and I read an article or two about it. I might have a little(?) bit of BPD too, my very likely autism being the root case of it (I mean, autism in itself wouldn't be a problem necessarily, but it becomes a problem when my family can't handle my autistic way of communicating (too much miscommunication because of literal thinking for ex., that's one of the most annoying for them, but for me the most annoying thing is that they expect me to guess what exactly they mean by their words. Well, I understand the meaning of their words, but I don't necessarily understand what they mean by their words.) and so all the emotional pain, headaches and anger that I experienced through family fights (luckily never physical, "just" shouting and calling eachother names, etc.) was probably the reason why I developed a little bit of BPD. (I write "a little bit", I think it has a goos chance of being wrong, I haven't read enough of it yet, I just heard about BPD from some autistic people talking about it in videos.) If I feel really strong anger emotion again (I hope not, but ai have to be realistic), then I will try to use some of the tips I read, for example being aware of the fact that I am angry at the moment of me being angry without acting on my strong anger. I just wanted to say thank you for that info about DBT.