What It's Like Having No Inner Monologue and Aphantasia (a blind mind's eye)

[@Gymclark]

“My brain, is quiet.” I have never been so envious of someone in my LIFE

[@karenholmes6565]

I felt that way when she first said that because I am audhd. My brain is so noisy all of the time, visually and auditory. Even in my sleep. And then I heard her say what that means and I have deep empathy for her.

[@Omar-gr7km]

Not BECAUSE you are AuDHD. These are comorbid for you. Having Autism, ADHD, or both does not mean you don’t or can’t have a blind, silent mind.

[@karenholmes6565]

@@Omar-gr7km My brain is wired for activity. I am neurodivergent. I don't care what labels you want to put on that because we are in the infancy of understanding how all of this works. Notice, I didn't claim that all neurodivergent folks are the same as me, even those who use the same labels I am using,

[@karenholmes6565]

@@FilmSpook That is one of the most stupid things I have read this week. And I have seen a bunch of stupid things this week. The idea that someone processing information in a way that is different from you makes them inhuman is rank bigotry and prejudice for neurodivergency. And I am not having it. We are as human as you are.

[@zzzzzz-zv9ev]

​@@Omar-gr7km why you al think ADHD is a priblem no if you cant imagine if ypu cant see f..beqch if you cant imagine your family thats not normal you dont have esential human exspirience evryone who tells you its normal its not and it is not ADHD my friends we qll have it from birth that dialog and all rest

[@pennylane3127]

Hello. I just stumbled upon your video and it really turned on a light for me. My 14 yr old daughter has been struggling for some time with reading and reading comprehension. She has an IEP at school and several weeks ago we were in a meeting with her teacher and she said to the teacher “ you keep telling me to image this or picture that and I don’t know what you are talking about”. At that time I thought, ok she is just frustrated and does not want to cooperate. Until last night when I stumbled upon your video. I had my daughter come in and watch it with me and she started to tear up and she said. Yes mom, I don’t see anything, no pictures. Ahhh, I think we have something here. So, THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! for sharing your story. ❤️

[@quietmindinside4808]

Thank you so much for sharing this with me! I'm so so glad this was helpful for both of you. I hope your daughter is doing ok with it. I know it can be a big shock. If you ever need to get in touch or have any questions my gmail is quiet.mind.inside

[@evaroth4374]

I just want to add that I have this too and can’t see or hear and it took me longer than most to learn how to read and write but I am Trilingual now and speak three languages fluently.

[@jamesrobinson1557]

I'm happy you guys found out early. My son is 35 and he just realized he doesn't have an inner monologue! Which makes so much sense now because of his early struggles in school...Good luck!

[@Da_Potato_Queen]

@@quietmindinside4808I’m assuming that you can relate with this, but yknow those picture memorization games? I used to always list off different objects out loud in a rhythm just so I could remember. Because the second I couldn’t see the photo, I wouldn’t be able to remember anything that way there unless I tried really really hard

[@Nicoladen1]

I just found out I have aphantasia yesterday and I'm still completely blown away. You guys can imagine images, scenes, sounds, smells, feelings. You guys can picture loved ones, imagine a future, or enjoy drifting off into Imaginary dream worlds. For me it's all factual and conceptual. Like a computer without a screen. Operating in the dark and silent abyss that is my mind.

[@AshtonCoolman]

I'm now thinking that we need to change the way we teach. Like, how did you fare in geometry without being able to visualize the shapes and concepts? Do kids with aphantasia or no internal monologue do better or worse in certain subjects versus others? This really needs to be studied more because we may be doing a large part of the population a disservice in our already poor educational system in the United States.

[@razorphone77]

but....but.....if u cant imagine pictures/scenes/loved ones in your head, how do you recognise ur surroundings? How do you know when you see a loved one, because it sounds like ur saying you cant remember what they look like. That's all this is, an ability to recognise a person that uve seen before. I mean if you look out the window right now and see the street and some buildings, now close ur eyes, can you not picture what you've just seen? Could I teleport you to another location and you wouldn't be surprised that its different when you open ur eyes?

[@GatileoGatilei]

How do you represent concepts? Can you see words? or is it something different?

[@hamjaro2920]

@@razorphone77 Speaking from my own experience, whilst I can't visualise and create new concepts nor manipulate them, I still have an imagination of sorts. I suppose it's based on memory and my brain finding a way to work around not being able to visualise. I can think about my loved ones, and almost "see" them but I think it's just memory. Face-blindness is a condition where people fail to recognise faces, and I'd feel sorry for people that had both aphantasia and face-blindness. In terms of recognising surrondings I'm not sure exactly what you are getting at, all I can see is the brain can process things fast enough that as long everything I see has been seen before, I can't imagine I'd be that confused. I will say I suck at navigation and map-reading, so maybe that is part of what you mean, if I look at a map I struggle to translate that to the world around me although I do get there in the end. I can't see anything when I close my eyes, and I'd imagine anyone would be a little surprised if they got teleported, but I wouldn't be able to visualise the location you teleported me to if you described it but I would be able to prepare myself if you mentioned a road or a river or a forest etc. from memory of seeing those things before. Hope this helps. Edit: Obviously my form of memory is different to yours since I can't visualise, so it's hard to describe without you also having a bad mind's eye but hopefully it makes some sense at least.

[@bogdiworksV2]

@hamjaro thank you for sharing, it's extremely interesting to me, coming from the other side of the experience. It sounds like you guys sort of skip the details, as it were. Just instantly go for the concept and the jist of experiences. You might, perhaps, make better detectives, whereas we can be easily distracted by unimportant details...?

[@gerihuginn]

I used to daydream so hard that I could have no idea what’s happening in front of my open eyes because I was so deep in my mind’s eye. But it made it difficult to concentrate in school sometimes because you miss vital information when you phase out. KZbin has actually helped me learn because I can snap out of it and rewind.

[@alicedodobirb2808]

Same, a year in the future, but same 😂

[@DaRay814]

Right! I was always the person who was daydreaming in about other places

[@Weedfarm-rw6ky]

Do both

[@k1ngk0k0knut4]

You prolly had some mad deja vu too

[@6AxisSage]

Worth it

[@candice_soulcadencecoaching]

This blows my mind - I wish I had learned more about this in grad school. I see VIVID images constantly and I NEVER shut up in my head. It’s constantly going. I don’t ever have a quiet brain...I think I’m the farthest away on the spectrum from Aphantasia as possible. I look forward to watching more of your videos to learn more, because just as it’s hard for you to understand us visualizing & have an inner monologue; it’s so hard for me to get your side of things too. Oh, and, like when I say my mind is never quiet: I dream in VIVID pictures & emotions as well. And remember so many of them and they still haunt me sometimes.

[@tanjastrau5925]

I haven't got that super detailed image. But it is enough to have dreams and wonder for like 5 minutes after waking up if this was real or not. Voices are crystal clear to me. Images are not super detailed but I can still recall them from dreams I had as a child (and they scared me) and I am 36 now. I cannot even fathom how thinking would work without an image or voice in your head.

[@Jesusandcoffee3382]

Same here, that inner voice is always talking. I hear music a lot too that applies to whatever situation I’m in and vivid pictures.

[@EnbyGhostFin]

same, the picturs in my head are ocationally a little less vivid than when there extremly vivid, but they never stop and i my inner monologe also never shuts up, i find everything about this to intreaging

[@unnaturaldisaster1728]

i can very clearly visualise my dream house and my internal monologue never shuts up, yet i can never picture a face because i am very detail oriented and don’t see the full picture. Like if I try to picture my mums face (i see her everyday), it’s blurry but i can see her hair colour, eye colour and posture. it’s weird

[@Welsh_Veteran_420_Z]

I believe you have hyperphantasia

[@kristenp1606]

For me, reading and my inner voice are inextricably linked, I cannot read without hearing the voice.

[@marcellomercuri5619]

KristenP yeah, I thought that was the norm 😆

[@maba5082]

Me too! But I also constantly talk to myself! Also don't have memories! About 1/3 of the people with aphantasia with possible ties to ADHD and anxiety don't have memories either. They never start to encode in the first place.

[@ThemedNumber02]

So you cannot tone out the voice in your head as you read?

[@ThemedNumber02]

Is it like hearing an audiobook in your mind?

[@marcellomercuri5619]

bossy I can’t turn it off. I find it impossible to turn it off ESPECIALLY while reading. But is it like an audiobook? I guess you can say that.

[@santanaclaus1866]

To me, you are the super hero. Why do you think we spend so much money on retreats, yoga, meditation, etc... to quiet our minds, to try to have it shut up, stop narrating, stop judging, stop taking so long to make decisions or to take action, to stop labeling items as you see them, stop filtering through language. To be still. There are things I'm sure we'd love about the way your mind works. Maybe this is an evolution. You're less internally distracted so you're able to focus on the task at hand, and your mind may not need to so long to grab info from the files they're stored in since you also dont have to filter through that extra layer of information such as moving pictures. This whole subject is facsinating. And tbh we need all perspectives In this world, and yours is a special one.

[@quietmindinside4808]

My friend actually told me that she was jealous because she felt I get to really live in the present. I'm not watching things that happened in the past or looking to the future, I'm just now. I do think it's a lovely way of thinking about it, and it definitely helped me. (Although I still wonder if you all are plugged into the Matrix, and I'm not 😄) The meditation comment is interesting because I've always thought that stuff was strange. I never got the appeal of sitting and doing nothing, but obviously, since my mind is quiet, I don't need to focus to clear it. It's a bit hard for me to understand what it's like to have so much going on in your head at once. I think I'm kind of envisioning like a picture-in-picture TV with the radio blaring at the same time. It seems so unbelievable to me, and I'm in awe that you all can function with the distractions.

[@jayy7754]

@@quietmindinside4808 That is very much like what it feels like to be in my brain. It's like a TV and two radio stations are playing at once. When I meditate I can turn down the volume of the TV and the louder radio station and tune into the quieter one. (I can't make a single one of them go away, just turn them down.) Or alternatively I can step into the TV and experience things with additional senses. However, I was under the impression that the "normal" inner monologue is less layered and chaotic, and that my experience is due to ADHD.

[@quietmindinside4808]

@@jayy7754 That's interesting. I've been wondering about ADHD in regards to the inner voice and visuals. I wonder if having that second voice is typical with others that have ADHD?

[@tiffanygonzalez7233]

Both of your perspectives are so interesting. For me I visualize, and hear only what I’m focused on usually. There are times I can get overwhelmed or distracted and want to hop down other rabbit trails but then I tell myself to focus and I can just think of the task at hand, but I definitely “verbally process” the task in my mind a and see pictures and imagine easily. I’m very interested in the way you both process dreams?

[@tiffanygonzalez7233]

I commented too early ☺️

[@tonyhussey3610]

Ahh please try not to be sad, it can be a real pain to have a inner voice. I have had crazy arguments with myself when I was sailing alone offshore, it was nuts. The. Voice can be very negative at times too and cause a lot of insecurities and stress.

[@quietmindinside4808]

Yes, I was wondering about this. I think I have a pretty easy time letting things go, and feelings of insecurity and stress are gone pretty quickly. I do feel them and I can remember them, but I think not "seeing" past mistakes or having an inner voice tell me about them makes them easier to move past emotionally.

[@Eryhnar]

@@quietmindinside4808 That is incredibly interesting. I didn't think about that. I just recently found out about the inner monologue (I already knew about aphantasia) and it's something that fascinates me (both actually fascinate me really). I think it's really important that this kinda blew lately because now it's more public and people will start finding about it and more importantly people like you can feel more supported I guess. As you said, many expressions and techniques that we use as teachers involve a type of imagination that some people don't have and it is important that we keep that in mind. Anyway now I'm incredibly curious as to whether the lack of verbalization of the thoughts could have an impact on language learning (second language specifically) or not....Any thoughts on that?

[@quietmindinside4808]

@@Eryhnar Well, I can't say for everyone with my same kind of brain, but I really stink at language learning. I do fine with the basics, but once it hits a certain level, I just can't get past it. However, I've talked to a few people who are multilingual that don't have an inner voice, so it might just be me.

[@Eryhnar]

@@quietmindinside4808 Thanks for answering. Well that is interesting. I think we just need more research about this in general. Anyway, don't get discouraged. I think what you are doing here raising awareness about this is important.

[@quietmindinside4808]

@@Eryhnar Yes, I'm trying to keep that in mind. Even if I'm misunderstanding something or getting something wrong, I feel like we are all having some lovely discussions with this, which makes it worthwhile.

[@Trailerwalker]

I will say it is a blessing to be able to read and create your own version of what the story looks like in your head. It’s almost more vivid than being submerged in a movie and often times I find myself severely let down by movies that portray books

[@ddlcp]

I think its more due to constantly thinking about it what ruins the things as you'r going through if not all most possible scenario.. since early age I use to do that a lot and after a while I kinds just got bored of thinks stop thinking about topics all together which doesn't happen completely but it kinda works in a certain lvl.. I think they say something like go completely blind

[@ddlcp]

​@@Eet_Mia many possibilities do you think that'll create in doing so. personal observation but all the materials/content in its original context release to date has vast amount of similarity even consider their different genre/context where "unique/ originality's very few in between & rehashed. I don't think lack of reading book's an issue here. Since early age I pretty much use to delve into anything/everything there's be it mental/physical aspect of things as I realize that life's too short to experience everything that reality has to offer but at the same time also realizing along the way that everything's very limited & many similarity in things to an extent where originality/ new/mystery etc in general holds less meaning.

[@ddlcp]

@@Eet_Mia I'm not arguing against whatever you are trying to say. I saying the reason you get let down (understandable) for what already's the better version's your approach to things like comparing with the original rather then going bling as I like to put it, see it more a completely separate entity that shared an element like a fan fic or other representation of things. I'll also say that the in majority of the scenario nothing'll come lose to original except for few exception & that's the reality.

[@aquaseahorselove3939]

I was going to say the same thing. I have an extremely vivid imagination. When I read, I can see the scene the writer sets up, I see the colors, the facial features of the characters, everything. When I see a movie after reading the book first, I'm extremely let down by the movie, because the one in my head was so much better. The only movie that came close to how I viewed it in my head was Interview With A Vampire. ☺️

[@soulshebang]

I've been married 14 years. I had someone over and she mentioned her inner monologue. My husband entered the room as she was speaking and asked, "What's an inner monologue?" He had no clue what we were talking about. Totally blew my mind. I'd heard that there were people who didn't have one and some that can't visualize things in their mind, but I never considered he was that way. I started questioning how he thinks about things and it blew my mind. It actually explained a lot. lol

[@Roxjetlagged]

Interesting. May I ask what it explained? I just recently discovered some people have inner monologue. So weird for me. Like those movies or books that describe your thoughts, that's literally what people think in their minds? I always thought that was some form of exaggeration and to just show what the thoughts are to us outsiders. I do have mind's eye thankfully, but didnt know people think like for example "oh her sweater looks so cute" in some kind of inner voice. That's so strange to me.

[@bcsuser]

@@Roxjetlagged yeah, inner monologue is still strange to me. I normally think with the feeling of knowing. Like if the sweater looks cute, I have this feeling of knowing that it's cute and I know it's cute. It's just a feeling of knowing

[@barry-michael33]

Is it possible we live in simulation virtual reality and your husband is a NPC.

[@Cucu666BAU]

@@barry-michael33 very interesting take. But now I'm thinking what if we, with the voice are actually the npc ? The inner voice could be our programming telling us what to do and what to think.

[@barry-michael33]

@@Cucu666BAU People with an inner monologue could also be their programming. I also think MYERS & BRIGGS' 16 personality types are to help disguise the simulation or other wise we would all act like the same robot make VR less interesting for who ever are the players.

[@samanthawhite2126]

i feel like falling asleep would be so easy. my thoughts keep me up for so long at night

[@quietmindinside4808]

That's true. I usually do fall asleep fast.

[@sydneyjackgarza5199]

I hardly sleep at all, 2 hours a night usually. i have a blind mind and no inner monologue.

[@niki3722]

I don't really have an inner monologue but I still can't sleep because I think about a lot of stuff just without words

[@quietmindinside4808]

@@niki3722 Yeah, that's a good point. If I had a lot on my mind, I would have that fullness in my head and would have trouble sleeping, too.

[@missindie9204]

Myth Husband is asleep literally one minute after his head hits the pillow and after 21 years i just discovered he has this Aphantasia. Mind blown lol.

[@tiffanygonzalez7233]

I want to understand thinking without an internal voice, that seems like a super power!

[@niamhmorrissey744]

Tiffany Gonzalez you can still do that if you have an internal monologue it just takes practice

[@mariemai2902]

I am practising this at the moment. Chewing gum and classical music seems to help me sometimes and concentrating on breathing. I have a lot of repetitive thoughts so when they come up I try to push them mentally at the back observe them if they deserve my attention if not, I focus on my surroundings physical touch also can help to bring me back in the reality. I am not dedicated enough to meditate but mindfulness exercises in daily life seem to work at least sometimes to work.

[@TosiakiS]

You yourself didn't have an internal monologue before you learned language. You picked up the habit of internal monologues at a very young age, and it's stuck with you since. It's a difficult habit to rid, but it is fully possible with training.

[@JustyMe]

I dont understand constantly thinking in words. So you put into sentence every little thing you do? Like "now I need to turn left" , "first I brush my teeth" etc.? I think in sentences but in very specific situations.

[@TosiakiS]

@@JustyMe Nobody does that. However, a lot of people are often thinking all kinds of random things, often unrelated to anything at hand while they do stuff, with no way to turn off this "mind wandering." Hence they can't imagine turning this noise off because it's a habit they've had for forever.

[@jessari]

I love that we are sharing all these things together. it's so cool to hear how different people's brains work!!

[@anneemull]

Grieving something you didn’t know you “lost” can be extremely confusing and painful. 😕

[@Noor-jw2tn]

Similar to realizing you are probably high functioning autistic, in your 60s.

[@HayleyandHilary]

You’re perfectly describing how I think, “hear” and “see” in my brain! The way you narrate is amazing

[@niamh4761]

This video really resonated with me, I have a minds eye and inner monologue but I relate to the feeling that you're missing out on a fundamental human experience. I remember going through the same strange grieving process when I found out that I'm asexual. I thought for years everyone was exaggerating or being hyperbolic when talking about their attraction. The period of adjustment when you first learn these things can be incredibly tough, no matter how trivial they may seem to some, so stay strong! Also, even though having the ability to visualise things/internal monologue is pretty cool there are plenty of downsides! Vivid nightmares, replaying traumatic memories or a loop, having your internal monologue constantly belittle you etc. Sorry for the ramblings, I guess I'm trying to say everyone is going to have unique struggles and the way your mind works is beautiful and complex in its own way.

[@quietmindinside4808]

Thanks so much for sharing! I've definitely been thinking a lot about how different all of our experiences are, and your story is very interesting and something I hadn't thought of before.

[@strivingfornewhorizons9281]

The asexual struggle is too real... I didn't care about it for a long time, but it started to feel like I'm missing out on something that most people seem to have. I'm fine with it now & it definitely does have advantages (eg. I don't get horny)😂 I'm probably aromantic too, which is even more confusing. I don't "need" a relationship, I simply don't feel the need to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but at the same time I kinda wish I did cause it makes me feel like missing out again (especially since so many people at my age - 20 - care about it). It makes me want to try it out for fun, but a) that would be crappy for the other person, b) it didn't go well last time and c) I wouldn't even know which gender to choose cause it wouldn't make much of a difference to me anyway Sorry for the rant, I realize much I wrote😅

[@quietmindinside4808]

@@strivingfornewhorizons9281 That's very interesting. I've actually never heard the term aromatic before. Does it affect closeness in friendships at all?

[@strivingfornewhorizons9281]

@@quietmindinside4808 Not really :) I like being deeply connected to people, but on a platonic basis. Eg. I value close friendships (not in terms of doing everything together/being clingy, more like being able to have deep conversations, share dreams, just forming emotional bonds etc). Although I guess that this is normal for most people xD The only real difference is that I don't really feel romantic attraction. Others may look at someone as a potential boyfriend/girlfriend, I rarely/don't do that. While some of my friends check dudes/chicks out and are like "I wish that was my boyfriend/girlfriend, he/she is so hot & funny!". My version would be "Damn, I wish I was friends with them, they're so funny & confident!". Note: I'd still acknowledge that they look good, but since I don't feel sexual attraction either (-> asexuality) I wouldn't use hot. If they have a Sixpack, my first thought wouldn't be "that's hot!", it would be "whoa, imagine how much work they put into that!". Another difference is that many of my friends feel the need to be in a relationship or feel lonely without it (after a while). They miss the kissing, long cuddling or feel lonely while still having lots of regular friends etc. Loneliness is something I only experience when I haven't seen my friends for a while/don't feel connected to people. I don't miss having a relationship, kissing, holding hands, etc. Tbh I don't like kissing at all - Holding hands is fine, but kissing feels weird. It's not like I feel any less feelings than others, I'm empathetic and more of a feeler than a thinker. Also, being touch-starved can be a problem for me like for any other person (perhaps a bit less tho). Who-/whatever created me simply forgot to add romantic and sexual attraction (maybe the machine was broken) xD

[@ys-kv3ug]

Same I am asexual and it makes me so sad

[@livfly]

Your brain is probably much more efficient than mine. When I'm studying, there are things that I have to imagine to really understand it. I have to put effort in it. While your brain seems to easily grasp all the information. Pretty cool.

[@kimberleypierce7981]

Yes. That is true. I learn better with visuals than just the written word. I remember if there is a demonstration of which I am a part of. If I'm just reading but I cant picture it (because it isnt something familiar with), I wont remember it.

[@roudiamondgh92]

Me too...I have to either imagine it in my head...or if it's a skill I have to imagine myself doing the skill I'm learning.

[@hardboiled2000]

It really effects your short term memory.

[@cynthiawalker7888]

I just love how our language is so advanced that we can have this conversation and understand each other back and forth about it.

[@ivane5110]

Inner monologs and imagery can be crowding and tiring often, to be honest. But, I certainly can see how discovering this was & coping with accepting this can be very overwhelming. Thank you for making this. Very enlightening.

[@ddlcp]

really? I've never really experience it as for me its similar to just breathing

[@theplayerformerlyknownasmo3711]

I can hear music in my head perfectly. And recall voices and sounds inside my head. I can also see the things. Like movies in my head. Not trying to gloat just want to know who else also sees things like this? I also can smell smells again in my head.

[@laurenj432]

Yeah I hear music perfectly in my head too, and I remember sounds pretty accurately. I don’t have an inner monologue either though. Well sometimes I do, but only when I decide to

[@karlcallas8732]

Yes, me too!

[@karlcallas8732]

Yes, me too!

[@angelborlagdatan3332]

When I read books it was like I also watching it in my head

[@naydee]

I have a feeling this is most of us. I can hear my thoughts. I have taste memory, touch memory, smell memory, music memory like the original song, even the different instruments in their various parts. I alway assumed everyone did this! When I read a novel I see every character, hear the voice I give them and see all the visuals presented in the story. I think this why when many of us go to see a movie, after we read the book, we are somewhat disappointed. We’ve already seen our movie. 😳 I think people who don’t have any or all of these are amazingly unique. I’m also impressed with how they learn and recall. Life is so incredible. Reality is trippy!

[@animakeupgrrl42]

I had no idea this was a thing until today. I have an internal monologue and the ability to visualize pictures mentally. I find it so fascinating that your eyes still look up and to the right when you are thinking because scientists associate this with visualizing remembered images. I can't imagine what thinking would be like without the voice and pictures.

[@quietmindinside4808]

I've been thinking a lot about this, too, because when I "zone out", I kind of stare straight ahead, but feel like I'm looking behind my eyes. Perhaps if I could visualize I would be seeing things then.

[@ElaineAlwaysMS]

@@quietmindinside4808 yes. As a person that can visualize quite well, when I zone out, my irises go out of focus because I'm not concentrating on what's in front of me, and everything gets a fuzzy while I'm picturing things and it is like looking "behind my eyes" though when I think about seeing things I think about them being in my head almost I'm not seeing them with my eyes at all but in a separate place. I cant explain it. But if you're going out of focus with your eyes when you're thinking I'd say that is your brain trying to visualize things.

[@quietmindinside4808]

@Cocuță Interesting! Did something happen that caused you to start seeing the images? Or it just started unexpectedly?

[@davidburton79]

@@quietmindinside4808 it's interesting to hear others' perspectives. I can't visualise AT ALL until I close my eyes, but once I do I only visualize in black and white!

[@quietmindinside4808]

@@davidburton79 Oh that's interesting. I've heard of a lot of people who can only do it with eyes open, but not the other way around. I wonder why black and white, though? Do you dream in color?

[@spring7643]

I really hope someone sees this comment and it helps them. The most beautiful things in life are right in front of us, we don't need to see them in our minds. Go into nature, talk with your loved ones, have pictures of them around the house, etc. 👍👍

[@recoveringsoul755]

If you lose your loved ones and your home you can't do any of that.All you have is your memories. Maybe a photo, an email or letter. After awhile you forget what their voice sounds like, and what they smell like. It's really sad. But I cry at funerals for people that I don't even know. I imagine all kinds of things. I cry for the people they left behind as if I can feel their pain. I cry for the deceased because they won't be able to feel the warmth of the sun on their shoulders while a gentle spring breeze carries the scent of flowers by and birds are chirping. I cannot imagine just opening my mouth and having words come out in a way that formed sentences. I seem to have a harder time with verbal communication than others.

[@SamiraGonzalez]

I really love how this has become a “trend” I guess. Because it seems to rally people together and have us learn more about others and how they function and accepting it. Isn’t it amazing that with all of the technology we have and all of the advancements we’ve made, we never realized that people literally think differently? That blows my mind and makes me think, “wow, if this simple but also vital part of people was missed, I wonder how we can improve communication with each other?” Think about it, you’re married to someone who can think and recall things the way I guess the majority of people can and so many times that he probably asked to do something or remember or whatever may have caused fights or issues due to a simple disconnect in the ways you guys think. Like with the red dress example you gave, if someone asked you to remember the red dress and to recall it a later time but you couldn’t, maybe they would be upset because they think you’re just being forgetful or not caring whereas a simple change in the way they approach the question would make the huge difference. I think this is a great way for us to open up our minds to accept people and do more research because the human brain and mind are so complex and amazing.

[@quietmindinside4808]

Thanks so much for your comment! It almost feels embarrassing that I've gone this far in my life and never knew that everyone's minds worked so differently. It's definitely making me evaluate how I communicate with people and how I judge their behaviors. I've been thinking a lot about how much more traumatic things can be for others. Mind blowing indeed!

[@ironbard4901]

​ Quiet Mind Inside ^This. It's a blessing and a curse. It feels great to visually remember/imagine good times. It can keep you almost super-humanly stable when the going gets rough. Even if you have a couple shitty days/weeks/months/years, you have this colossal reservoir of good experiences to draw strength from. Unfortunately the opposite is also true. Everything can be perfect, and then for any reason or no reason at all; the sluice-gates of bad memories or imagination open. Sometimes if I'm not careful, I'll relive/daydream terrible experiences from the past. The simplest way I can describe it, is this: It's like you are in two places simultaneously - two places in time. You are in the present moment, but you are also in the past. The present loses focus, you "zone-out" from it; if someone is talking to you in that moment, you'll lose track of their words. It'll be as though someone turned the volume all the way down. You can still hear it, but it doesn't register properly if at all. Slowly, everything else gets drowned out; sight, touch, taste, smell - the senses all fade away, untill your grasp on the present moment is tenuous at best. Depending on the memory, it can feel like an upsetting thought/realization or it can feel like a waking nightmare. Usually this daydreaming/remembering can be aborted if someone waves a hand in front of your face. Other times they'll have to grab you, shake you, shout at you, to bring you out of it. I've had moments where the memories/imaginations were so vivid, so terrible, that I felt a strong urge to pluck out my own eyes - in an effort to make it stop. The good news is that you can learn to control it - if you exercise your willpower, the good will outweigh the bad.

[@quietmindinside4808]

@@ironbard4901 This is very interesting for me. I still think of the past and bring up bad things I'd rather forget, but it can't be that immersive for me. I've never had someone shake me or wave their hand in my face to get my attention. I always wondered how people could get so lost in thought. I assumed they were just really tired. 😄

[@AtLeastTryALittle]

You are not alone. I also have aphantasia and little to no inner monolog. I can think to myself in my head but it is an intentional act that requires me to choose to hold a conversation with myself. Many people consider me to be almost excessively logical. I'm pretty successful in my career as a Behavioral physiologist. I have a proficiency for learning technical things quickly and really enjoy word play and language. I agree that I sometimes struggle to relate to "most people" and I do feel "different" but at the same time I'm generally a very happy person. I feel like my inability to imagine visually or have that ongoing inner monolog helps to make me emotionally stronger and resilient. In my work that has benefitted me a lot. I grew up with a lot of difficult things in life but it doesn't bother me in the way in hurt my siblings. I have emotions and sympathy so I'm not Anti-social Personality Disorder but I'm just generally calm, stable, and happy. I wouldn't change my brain at all because it makes me who I am and I'm happy. But I do relate to all that she is saying. It sounds like we have a similar lived experience including my dreaming in pictures and feeling almost like a computer without a monitor.

[@shadowscribbler6100]

It's definitely not a hoax. I'm a writer and an artist and I play out every single scene in my mind before I write it. It's like watching a movie that I have control over.

[@carolcarol3938]

Just remember, at times, that those who have these internal dialogues sometimes long to be able to find the "off" switch for these voices/thoughts.

[@Enzo012]

They can't turn it off? That must be annoying.

[@hotwasabi1085]

Adrian Bingham no and it really is annoying sometimes. Sometimes my inner voice repeats the same thing over and over again and a lot of times it’s anxiety and stress and it can feel very loud and like there’s no escape from it Well, sometimes you can turn it off but that’s why people mediate and do yoga and stuff because it takes a lot of effort and is a skill we have to learn

[@Enzo012]

@@hotwasabi1085 If you need to just use a second inner voice to tell the other inner voice to shut up.

[@emmacassady4518]

Hot Wasabi same. Literally all I want is for the inner monologue to stop just for a few minutes

[@fischerbasham2065]

Ever tried meditation?

[@misspapayausa]

Mental visualization is really strange. When I visualize it’s almost a little bit like shifting some focus from the actual image my eyes are seeing to a separate intangible image that my brain produces somehow.

[@alyssar272]

ExistentialBeing fuck I get that bro

[@tracik1277]

I can see both external reality and internal visualisation at the same time.

[@taylorsv93]

This is the perfect description

[@CherryGryffon]

Yes, like if you hold your finger out in front of you and look at is from about a foot away, and then unfocus your eyes to relaxed state. You'll see the same finger in two locations, where one looks more solid depending on which eye is focused on it. That's kinda similar.

[@edwardecl]

I wish I could do that :(.

[@aksez2u]

This is the most fascinating rabbit hole I've been down in a long time. It is so hard to imagine what it would be like to think and remember in a different way.

[@angrynorway]

It’s so hard to describe what happens in ones own head to another person. Maybe that’s why we have art.

[@user-rc4jz9dy1i]

I honestly didn't believe that your experience even existed. It's interesting, thank you for sharing. You're not less of a person.

[@mariagalluzzi69]

I am so sorry you are sad! I thank you for sharing this! You sharing your feelings was SO BRAVE and I appreciate it! As an artist I cant imagine what that is like. You are different just like we are different. Trust me, if we poked around we would probably find out that we are all not alike. :)

[@quietmindinside4808]

Thank you so much. It is a bit scary truthfully, but the positive responses have been really wonderful. I appreciate it very much ❤️

[@stefaniacontessa]

Just found this video today, after weeks, months of wildly uncontrollable inner monologue… scenes, scents, feelings, tastes. It’s overwhelming. The whole time she was talking about being sad, made me step back and feel so … guilty for being jealous of people with no monologue…. And my first thoughts were about computers and processors and parallel technologies and analogies… and kept thinking-- it started a landslide of images and emotions. I just want to give her a hug. Clearly she’s smart, functioning, and has she not been talking about this topic, I never would’ve suspected her brain works differently. That’s what fascinates me! I’m so jealous of people without voices in their heads, but now, as I sad I feel terrible for feeling that way because she expressed the grief and loss and the existential crises…. I cried. Thank you for sharing.

[@stephanielanghorst8268]

I only just learned a few days ago that people actually visualize stuff in their minds. I'm completely blown away by this. I don't and cannot recall a time I ever have. Your video was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you!

[@quietmindinside4808]

You're welcome! I'm really glad it was helpful.

[@TigerPrawn_]

You speaking about songs in you head made me think how sometimes I can hear music so vividly in my head, like it's almost there, I can hear the different layers and instruments and the original singer's voice at the same time. Although sometimes it goes too fast in my brain and i have to try and make it slow down and stretch it out.

[@dkroberts1163]

cx45830 I always, always have a song playing in the back of my mind.

[@quietmindinside4808]

Wow! Mine is nowhere near that vivid. It's pretty quiet, and I kind of feel it coming from the back of my head. I do recognize that is the actual singer singing it even if it's not loud though.

[@IvyRoad]

@@quietmindinside4808 What I found most interesting regarding your experience of "ear worms" was that it's not you singing. My ear worms are always me singing, and I'm tone deaf so it's not all that enjoyable ;0)

[@alyssar272]

I literally relate to this so much wtff

[@TigerPrawn_]

@@alyssar272 :D

[@jasonbrends5376]

Just found out. I'm blown away. Shared you vids with my family and close friends. It certainly help them understand what my new discovery is about. Thank you. Can't wait to learn more.

[@quietmindinside4808]

Thanks so much! I'm so glad you've found them helpful!

[@robertsmall1657]

Perception variation makes this interesting. . When she says “other people can see pictures in their head” that could mean many different things to many different people. I am confident you could have 10 people all with the same brain capability and you could get 10 different answers as far as how each person perceives their own ability to “see pictures in their head.” I would say yes I can “see pictures in my head” but technically I cannot and I don’t believe anyone can (except maybe photographic memory types). To elaborate, I don’t see an actual picture. But, for a split second I can visualize what something looks like but I don’t actually have a picture appear in my vision or head…

[@fani5401]

on another note.....this woman is hillarious

[@heyitskaity735]

Fani she is 😂

[@Kamerenhigdon]

they aren’t “images” like you would think, they’re in a way hazy or blurry it’s not like just looking at a photo, and no one knows what they look like it’s not just you❤️

[@findlestick]

There seems to be a scale of how vividly people can visualize, as to what the "normal" level is, I have no idea. I don't visualize things in a hazy or blurry way at all, they are vivid images and scenes but I wouldn't describe it the same as "seeing" with your eyes, but only because the visualization takes place on a different plane in my mind. But on that plane I can see the images/scenes definite and unambiguously clearly. Also, I believe that most people do know exactly what they look like and can picture themselves in their mind's eye, I am able to (can anyone else reading this verify if they can visualize themselves please?) even if it's a memory of one's reflection in the mirror. This is all so bizarre to me that us humans haven't properly cross-referenced what we're experiencing inside our heads. Here I am in a KZbin comment asking people if they can see themselves in their head. lol

[@nixsquire]

That is your experience of mind.... There are plenty of people who do have a vivid visual mind's eye - there are people with Hyperphantasia where it is utterly lifelike and fully recallable

[@Kamerenhigdon]

Nick Squire neat

[@IvyRoad]

My images are very vivid. I sometimes, in my mind, walk around places I lived as a child looking at things. There isn't anything hazy about them. However, I really struggle to imagine myself. I have to imagine myself looking in a mirror, and then I can imagine my face, but not as well as I can imagine the faces of other people I know.

[@IvyRoad]

@@findlestick I can only really visualize myself if I imagine looking in a mirror. Also, as I age, I am likely to visualize a me that no longer exists.

[@lize63rocks]

I have had so many feelings about finding that people can actually see pictures and have memories. I feel cheated!!! It does answer a lot of questions!! Thank you for the postings and being real about the feelings that come with this realization.

[@quietmindinside4808]

Thank you! I'm glad you found it helpful. I think I've grown to accept it better now, but it was quite difficult dealing with the revelation in the beginning for sure. I really wanted to put this up for others feeling a bit shocked and overwhelmed with the discovery like I was.

[@skiegazer1953]

My partner has aphantasia. Whenever my mind is going non-stop with worry about a million things (most of them stuff that will never materialize), I ask her, "What are you thinking about?" And she says, "Nothing". I'm jealous of her. That inner monologue can be so debilitating to those of us that over-analyze everything. My partner and I can have conversations and discuss actions and possibilities, but then she goes back to her peaceful world and I stay in my mental chaos. As so many have mentioned in previous comments, that inner voice and the ability to visualize aren't always a blessing. There are many of us that are probably jealous of that ability to live in the peacefulness of the uncluttered mind. Thank you so much for sharing your experience in this video. You have done an amazing job!

[@coraliey5147]

This video makes me feel so much less alone!!

[@quietmindinside4808]

❤️❤️

[@frangallo]

I discovered that I have aphantasia after the death of my grandfather. My relatives talked about having my grandfather's image in their minds. And I started to doubt a lot about the veracity of what they were saying. I asked them. They claimed to see it. From that I started to investigate what I had. But I never felt bad about having aphantasia. I never saw it as a deficiency. I would love to be able to see images in my mind, really. But from knowing this I started to back-analyze my history. And I realized that I am what I am because I have aphantasia. I was a cartoonist with a lot of difficulty because I couldn't foresee how my drawings were going to look before I made them, but that difficulty turned into a constant surprise. I am a photographer and now I understand that my craze for taking pictures had to do with the fact that the images go away from me and I can't get them back. My life was formed around aphantasia. I have a tendency to live in the present. This is very difficult for other people. The past haunts many of them, they are presented with images of alternate universes, of cruel or traumatic moments in their past. I cannot revisit pleasant images from my past, but I am not haunted by traumas either. Our conscious experience is unique, everyone's experience. The qualities of consciousness vary from extreme to extreme and everyone has different qualities. This is our experience of the world, it is not bad, we don't have a problem, we experience the world differently. We are different. I hope this message helps you. I wish you all the best.

[@ariadna2018]

Waw!! I'd love to meet someone like you!! It must be amazing!!! Not having the ability to create images from the past or from the future....Amazing mind!!! Congratulations 🍾🙂

[@Jesusandcoffee3382]

It seems like a gift to me. I torture myself with the past.

[@Indigoporcelain]

I think we can experience trauma and realize we have experienced it but it doesn’t revisit us constantly with realistic voices and images. So we are lucky in a way. It’s probably what kept me fairly even keeled. Out of sight out of mind! Literally. Pleasant memories are more experiential, you remember how it felt, who you were with and vaguely how things were placed out arranged. but you can’t pull up a defined image of what it looked like.

[@KristinRenee]

Yes! I found out about aphantasia almost a week ago and I thought the same thing! Being able to visualize in your head is like a superpower and of course they don't see it that way because they've been doing it their entire lives.

[@quietmindinside4808]

Have you been constantly asking people what they see in their heads? It's like my new obsession!

[@mariemai2902]

Kris, but we can't always chose the pictures that come up. Some are very upsetting and annoying. If you could always chose to daydream about a beautiful beach, yes then it would be amazing, but reality is very different for most.

[@alquinn8576]

@@quietmindinside4808 bizarrely, when i wash dishes, i get flashes of imagery from hikes i've done. this is probably because doing dishes is very tedious for me and i think about escaping! these images come to me while i have my eyes open and stack on top of what i'm actually seeing. sometimes i "go to the mountains" to relax by remembering a particular hike i've done and replaying it in my head. Obviously, i don't remember it like a movie but more like a photo album of google street pictures where I can rotate perspective and see in different directions as if standing there. areas that I don't remember as well are either blurry or filled in with plausible scenery.

[@issax4667]

Unfortunately, the law of attraction is based on those visualisations so if you can't do it, that's bad news. I do feel like people can learn how to do it, it's like learning how to lucid dream.

[@leosalt]

wow i didn’t even ever think that this was possible, thanks for posting this it’s so informative

[@pdubdesigns8961]

No internal voice is apparent - we are watching much of what would be internal thoughts/words of other people. Thank you for sharing.

[@julialexx4613]

4 years after this video released, thank you for not deleting. The way you described your feelings finding out of us “inner monologue/visualization” people, the cry, the overwhelming feeling, the urge to fix yourself, thats the way I feel by listening you. I would trade my constant inner monologue alongside with severe adhd to your silent mind in a heartbeat. In other words so jealous to those who are “completely in reality”.

[@soundseeker63]

This is turning my perception of what it is to be human upside down and inside out... Truly fascinating and bizzare all at once! With what she says about not being able to remember flavours, how do you remember what foods you like or dislike? Is every meal you eat like eating that meal for the first time? If you have no inner monologue, how do you stay sane when you are alone in a quiet environment? How do you prevent the silence from consuming you? My inner monologue / conscience is both my best companion and my worst tormentor. I can't imagine exiting as a human without it, it is an integral part of "me"..

[@eclipse369.]

We exist as is. The silence is peaceful. We can turn on thinking but usually never need to. We gather and pull knowledge gained straight from the source without thought. Hard to explain. Instinctual thought.

[@Icantchangemyhandlehelp]

​@@eclipse369.I kind of wish I could turn off the voices in my head and think in instinct, because it gets the message across so much easier and it's so not.. loud.

[@Icantchangemyhandlehelp]

Instinctual thought is very thrilling to me whenever I do experience it for a brief second. It feels so WEIRD because it's an entire sentence turned into one emotion, a concept. Like time-travelling, but instead it's mind traveling, traveling straight to the point, to the thought. It intrigues me. Mostly it feels weird because it's not the norm for me though. If it was all I ever knew, I probably would not be so fascinated by it.

[@Stephanie102684]

I can hear the sadness in your voice of feeling like you're missing out on something by not having an internal voice and mental pictures. This video was very interesting to hear how your brain works.

[@anneemull]

I generally have to close my eyes to “picture” something in my head and it takes a lot of focus. I don’t see things as actual physical objects like some people describe. Listening to you, I started trying to put my experience into words, but I’m having trouble lol! I can picture a star in my head, but it doesn’t “feel” visual. I realize that doesn’t make a lot of sense lol! Your husband’s description is very interesting! The idea that people can see things so vividly is wild!

[@DesertSkiesAV]

I'm more like you. It's an effort to visualize something. I can do it, but it isn't the first thing that happens. I have to put effort into visualization.

[@barry-michael33]

There is no doubt that Myers and Briggs 16 personality types has much to do about how groups of people visualizes our reality. I am a INTJ who recreates the visible world in my head also I am constantly imagining what the future looks like and spend much time rerunning past experiences looking for something they missed or what works and what does not.

[@kimberkittenn]

Even if I try I can't see anything at all!

[@sanderlmgent]

I almost got spooked by the fact how relatable this is. I like the way you try to describe your mind because I can not find any good words for it

[@aurian-lay]

Oh! My! Your description is the best I have ever heard for how I travel through this world! You were talking about what happens in my mind - exactly!! Your explanation about how memory works - a data-dump! YES!

[@suru01]

What you said about thinking it was a hoax made me laugh. I am bisexual and I actually remember thinking as a child that EVERYONE liked both and it was a colossal secret that no one could admit. Part of me still kind of thinks that lol. Just goes to show how our own identity and experiences shape our perception of reality!

[@baldvinornolason1701]

I would literally rather cut of my genitals than be with a man. I'm not just saying that so you can be damn sure that we aren't all bisexual :)

[@2small4theMall]

@@baldvinornolason1701 what the fuck is wrong with you?

[@genegray9895]

I know this is three years old but I just wanted to share that I also thought sexual orientation was a hoax when I was a kid and that everyone would be bisexual if not for stigma, but then I grew up and found out I wasn't bisexual, which was extremely confusing. I still don't understand why I'm not bisexual, and I kind of think my own hetero-ness is a hoax, even though it's clearly not. Lol.

[@genegray9895]

@@Eet_Mia absolutely. The term I prefer is "agender"

[@Americansikkunt]

@@genegray9895maybe you’re just straight.

[@alixnight5318]

I honestly always thought counting sheep was just a figure of speech

[@LoveRemains]

I don’t have aphantasia but for me it’s pretty much a figure of speech lol. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I also struggle from sleep disorders and are on meds for it though. So I’m not sure if that makes a difference or not lol.

[@Rose-zh5xg]

@@LoveRemains i actually imagine the sheep jumping the fence lol I used to actually count them, I don't remember ever passing the number 70

[@mac_mcguckin]

So did I.

[@TrueComboKing]

@Hughes SignCo I wish I never knew about aphantasia. It feels like i’m lacking a superpower that everyone else was born with….

[@MICKEYISLOWD]

I was taught to count sheep to go to sleep. By the time I got to 100 I was still awake and visualising these sheep jumping over a gate drove me nuts.

[@JGinDaOC]

I’m an inner dialogue / visual person. I think there’s a wide range of the types of thoughts people have but most are inner dialogue / visual people. The best way to describe it is that it’s NOT a voice that’s crisp and clear as if we were in the same room. It’s like this idk “thought” like in the back of our mind that takes the shape of a voice. I know that doesn’t make sense. The thoughts aka voice influences how we feel, how we judge people, how we process information given to us, how we make decisions, etc. we think about whatever it is before we do it. Even if we say we just did something without thinking, there’s always a thought we just don’t dwell on it. It isn’t something that we can shut off, we are always thinking before we act and react. It isn’t something that takes over like an annoying person who won’t shut up. In some ways we don’t pay attention to the fact that we’re thinking. It’s just something we so subconsciously and that’s it. I dream every so often and I dream in color and sound. I can’t always remember / recall the smell of something unless it’s related to a strong memory. The more time passes the less memories are clear or memorable. When I’m thinking about something that’s plaguing me or it’s something important I’ll end up focusing more on the thoughts than what I’m doing at the same time like if I’m cleaning at the same time I’m thinking, I’ll end up getting lost in my thoughts and wham I’m done cleaning. It’s not something that can be shut off either. There’s good and bad to it. But I guess the bad is it drives our feelings which controls how we feel physically aka like a panic attack. I’d we want to control how our body reacts we need to control our feelings by controlling our mind and not letting our thoughts worry etc hope this helps.

[@quietmindinside4808]

Thanks so much! Your information about the inner voice is really clear and helpful. I read in an article that the inner voice can run like non stop all day, and I just couldn't conceptualize how that would even be possible.

[@cassiesevigny]

Quiet Mind Inside this is really interesting because I fall somewhere in the middle. I have an inner voice, I can talk to myself intentionally (like a convo) and sometimes hear my thoughts (not specifically directed *at* myself), but also often my brain is just quiet. Doesn't mean I'm not thinking, it's just not voiced. It may be "thought" in the form of attention and stragetizing my next action (like what dish to clean next and how), or it might be just a sense of knowing, a sense of an idea just being there, kind of like the info dump you described. I also can visualoze things, but as others have described, it's stronger if it's a memory of something I've seen rather than a random conjured-up scene. I do read books and see a movie, and kinda forget I'm reading words even as I can remember seeing them. If I'm looking back for a passage I can often recall if it was on the left or right page, top or bottom.

[@zxephin]

I’m here 2 years late to the party. I HAVE an inner monologue… but, I don’t see images in my head… except to some degree when im reading… but it’s not a clear image. People are amazing. 😲

[@mozart8059]

Sounds so peaceful

[@samwatson5394]

Sorry that people like you feel like you’re missing out on things because of this. Personally, I’m jealous of you. You seem lovely x

[@quietmindinside4808]

Thanks so much! That's very sweet.

[@wingofafly]

Very interesting. I don't have a internal monologue and I can visualise things, but it's pretty fuzzy. I do sometimes plan things to say, like anecdotes, or how I'd like to behave in certain situations, but generally my thoughts are emotive, musical, conceptual, patterns with snippets of vague imagery and/or sound.

[@fuzzyface4515]

I recently discovered I have Aphantasia and honestly it made me feel so relieved any so many more interactions with other people in my life made infinitely more sense. Talking about how your memories work to people without aphantasia is always big fun. It's so difficult to explain and usually the way I describe it is "instinctual" The information about an event or memory is just sort of there. One interesting thing you brought up was that if a song gets stuck in your head, you do hear it in the singers voice. I have a partial inner monologue, most of the time there isn't much going on in my head unless I'm having a bad/emotional day, or if I actually have to really process something. (Like slightly more advanced arithmetic as an example) If I have a song or something stuck in my head, I will hear it in my own voice and only my own voice. I can't hear things inside my head with any voice but my own and I didn't really realize people could do that, as well. Personally, I do dream visually but typically the emotions I feel during my dreams are far more intense than the visual experience of those dreams, almost to the point that it drowns out the visualization completely. I also like to think I have an above average memory and I think a lot of that is due to not having the ability to visualize things, so I don't have my own brain adding incorrect information about an event. From what I've started to understand is typically peoples own emotions tends to frequently influence how they will visually recall a memory, which can drastically alter the accuracy of a memory. Hopefully Aphantasia will become much more recognized, especially in schools. There were so many things in school that personally just continued to isolate me because of having aphantasia. Literature classes were painfully boring. Constantly being told to imagine things and thinking I was just dumb didn't help my self esteem. Art classes were another thing I really couldn't stand unless we were given a physical object to work with. So many things that I dealt with in schools actively relied on me to have the ability to visualize things inside my head. I had a good time watching your video and keep your chin up!

[@quietmindinside4808]

Thanks! Things have been getting better for me the more I talk about. I still have some jealousy for certain things, but I'm feeling a bit more satisfied with my differences. It's definitely been interesting trying to describe things that I always thought were normal ways of thinking! I had some similar struggles in school as you. Art was a nightmare! I also found Language Arts classes quite boring. Poetry was really the worst for me. I never really got it.

[@hotgibson123]

Really needed this. I’ve really been looking for this. Especially about grief. I can’t believe I will never be able to experience visual images. I really am sooo crushed. Thank you for validating that for me

[@nobody8328]

"How do you deal with a voice in your head?" ~not very well "My mind is quiet and blank" ~I'm very envious

[@karaf.3863]

This is absolutely fascinating. I learn so many new and wonderful things when traveling down this rabbit hole called KZbin. While I like being able to visualize I almost think I would trade it to have a quiet mind. I had severe depression for 30 years because I was so focused on the past. I would relive moments where I was hurt, insulted, embarrassed, scared, etc. and I would visualize it so intensely that I could feel those exact same emotions as if it were happening again. I would just ruminate over and over on a particular scene and my stress and cortisone levels would rise, my heart rate would increase, I would feel anxious and upset to the point of crying. I’ve always been an “in my own head” kind of person and I thought it was what made me smart and self-aware, but honestly, it is just absolutely exhausting and miserable. Two years ago I finally started letting go of things in the past and it has been freeing. Much less depression, like a few days a year rather than almost non-stop like it was. I still have a tendency to ruminate, but I am much better at recognizing it and stopping myself now. When I met my now husband he thought it was crazy how many thoughts and pictures would be in my head. Like when I close my eyes, it is not black, very random pictures will fly around, zooming towards me and leaving as new pictures arrive. For example, I would close my eyes and visions of pink pyramids, golf courses, a lion, a blue kite, a llama, a random vision of a beach restaurant, a Keebler elf, etc would just appear theoretically maybe a foot in front of me and then the image would fly towards me and past my ears on each side. There isn’t really a moment where one thought or five isn’t in my head. It makes concentrating hard. I envy your ability to live in the now, not dwell in the past, and having a quiet mind. So very fascinating.

[@quietmindinside4808]

Thanks so much for sharing! I honestly can't imagine closing my eyes and seeing so much. It does sound very distracting. I don't know how you guys do it!

[@juliarex4746]

I totally get this, and also have spent too much time and energy ruminating on past events which are still very vivid and emotional. Well done for managing to let go of that.

[@MarinaStanek]

Mindblowing discovery, Internet and KZbin are such amazing places to learn about human cognition, thanks a lot for sharing :)

[@KarenVanessaBuitrago]

"You read books and you get to see it?" Wow, I definitely should be more grateful for the things my mind can do. In German is KOPFKINO . It means, the movie paying in your head :) ofc the germans have a word for it

[@quietmindinside4808]

I figured there would be! There's a word in German for everything!

[@Axolotl2409]

Hey, Ich dachte bisher immer, das Kopfkino nur eine Metapher ist und bin erst vor kurzem auf,Aphantasie gestoßen. Ach ja, und witzig hier deutschen Kommentar zu finden :)

[@tomdivittis2688]

Thank you for taking the time to explain your experience. I don’t even remember what rabbit hole lead me to this video this morning, but you did a tremendous job explaining your experiences, which are completely different from my own. Like you, I’ve just always assumed everyone had the same general experience, internally. The differences are really astounding.

[@WalkScripture]

I have prophasia and a complex inner dialog. I looked up this topic to understand the other end. You are phenomenal. Thank you so much for sharing your story

[@hellzBrother]

Not only that I have inner monologue, when I'm alone I automatically switch to thinking out loud (like there would be someone else there to talk too, but it's only me). When I encounter a person I shut up, because I don't want to seem crazy. But my thinking also shuts up for a moment. And then I have to think about disfocusing on others and continue a normal thinking flow. I realized what that really means only in the past days when I was out for a walk and I was talking to myself. Now I'm doing some research about that and I must say... Fascinating stuff! Thank you for the video, it's nice to have a different aspect about the way of thinking.

[@quietmindinside4808]

I talk to myself out loud a lot. I'm wondering now if I do it more than most people because I don't talk to myself in my head 🤔.

[@DesertSkiesAV]

@hellzBrother Thanks for sharing that. My son thinks out loud when alone, too. I can hear him in his room, in the shower, etc. -- a monologue. But when others are around he's very quiet. He's extraordinarily intelligent, too, a math and science wiz. It's good to know he isn't alone.

[@giovanaserpa1797]

THIS VIDEO IS SO GOOD!!! your experience is similar to mine in so many aspects i feel like both my inner monologue and mind eye are very "weak". i mostly don't hear my thoughts, but when i picture myself talking something out loud i can hear almost a whisper at the back of my mind mimicking what i want to say. same with picturing images... for example, i can picture a tree but just for a split second, and althought i "feel" it's there in my mind, it's in a very poorly lighted place for some reason ?? so none of them work voluntarily for me either... but i still dream in pictures which is weird but yeah, i mostly rely on abstract thoughts that almost resemble feelings, and i came to terms with it because i feel like it matches my personality lol !!

[@PinkLaptop]

I don’t literally see a image I just see it in my mind not with my eyes but my mind. It’s pretty nice sometimes.

[@KCGray]

This was very interesting and helpful. The analogy of a foggy city but knowing where everything is helped me understand your point of view so much more. Thank you for sharing.

[@martel248]

Hello I actually stumbled across this video right after I learned myself today that some people did not have an inner dialogue and that they couldn't picture things. Much like you I was freaked out cuz I didn't know that no one has ever really told me that I don't think lots of people talk about it because I'm this was the first time I've heard of this phenomenon. I thought it was funny that it blew your mind because it blew mine in the opposite way I'm constantly talking to myself in my head I can't shut it off and I assumed that that was everybody I didn't ask everybody but it really did Shock Me Like I know that we all see things differently but I didn't know that this was something that affected a lot of people and watching this video and a couple others where they were interviewing others like yourself I was shocked... I think it's a great thing that this is coming to light because I don't think very many people are aware of this fact and it shows really how everybody is on a different level and everybody sees things differently. I hope that this fact will get bigger because it's important that we know how differently we are when it comes to the way our minds to work and how Consciousness is not the same for everyone. I'm going to subscribe because you're very down-to-earth and I always love authenticity. I actually have an eidetic memory and that basically means at least for me and I might be different kinds of eidetic with me in this is really going to blow your mind because I've never even met anyone cooking remember as far back as I can and everything I was thinking in my crib before I could speak I remember in detail things that happened. So if you have any questions for me too I'd be happy to answer them. Thanks xo

[@royalic5075]

Hello! I hardly ever write KZbin comments but I think this is very important. Aphantasia is a rough thing to realize and go through. I first discovered that I couldn't see pictures when I was talking to my fiancé about reading and she was like "Yeah, it's similar to having a movie playing in my head" it all spiraled from there. I thought I was completely lost and there was no hope that I could do this insane skill that she has developed and fine tuned throughout the years. But for me I was angry about it and wanted to fix it because that's my personality type and I discovered that I could make a very feint type of picture-esk thing in my head. The first taste of it that I had was when I was laying in bed trying to figure this skill out and I was staring into the dark and I got a feint line to show up behind my eyes. I thought I was bugging because I didn't believe it and it seemed like I was on substance but it was there, then I immediately got a headache. There are substances out there that can activate this nerve or whatever in your head for you, if you can see that, there is a massive chance that you're just being blocked. Think about this as a muscle. My fiancé is like a ripped body builder who snorts pre workout in terms of this muscle, but me, I started out as a literal infant. I've been developing this skill for over a year now and I'm proud to say that I can see when I read. I can choose when to picture and when not to picture. It still isn't as clear as hers but I know (this is a big part of it, you have to believe in yourself that you will get better.) I know I'll get there someday. If this is you, put in hours and hours and hours to see if you can make the slightest image, because then it spirals. Her and I worked for weeks together doing all types of methods before I could get something while completely relaxed. It can happen for you, we don't know much about this ailment yet and there is little research on it yet. Don't give up on yourself just yet.

[@shannonkelly3192]

It’s so interesting that you can give us an example of what to “think of” for how your brain is or remembers something. You *know* it’s like a dark foggy night but you can’t actually see that - so it’s so hard for me to understand how you know if you can’t visualize. I have an internal monologue but I also think I can think conceptually - that is, I don’t always have to talk to myself, but I do a lot, and currently while typing this I’m saying all the words in my head as I type. I also am very visual and can see things in my head. I think I have some synesthesia too as I associate colors with certain words and have strong smell memories - though I’m not sure if smell memories are associated with synesthesia, but they seem related off hand.

[@cherro19]

Also the part about how we can’t visualize or remember how people look, really messed with my head. I cried when I asked my sister if she could describe our mother with detail. She said she could. All I could do is remember she has dark brown hair and light brown eyes. If I try to imagine her face, I can’t tell you how she looks, but I could easily point her out in a crowd of 1000 people. Doesn’t help that one of my biggest fears is forgetting haha 😅

[@raemae4745]

I'm 38 years old and I just learned about this. I feel robbed. I thought everyone was in the dark in their minds! The way you explained everything is spot on 100% for how it is inside my brain also!

[@RammingSpeed-lk8kk]

Nope..lots of activity and stuff going on.. Usually I'm thinking about the context of my life..ideas...my past..my future..my plans.. Sometimes I think about songs I like and can imagine how it sounds

[@hurtjoy1289]

I am amazed by this, you are amazing!! I am often tormented by images in my dome. I feel like I spend most of my life in my head. I've often desired to be able to turn inner monologues and images that replay. The level of peace that you can achieve will always be greater than that of mine.

[@asdfghjamie]

Wow I have never related so much to someone I don’t know - I also have no inner monologue and have aphantasia . Everything you said about how it makes you feel , lol ugh I seriously relate .. I’m an avid book reader too and also a painter, I’m starting art school this Fall and I’m feeling nervous lol. I went through the sad phase like you but I’m trying to see the positives. Like for example, I really believe that having aphantasia helps us live in the moment, and we tend to forgive more easily. Try to see the positives in it ❤️❤️

[@quietmindinside4808]

Thank you! It's lovely to hear from someone else like me ❤️. I'm definitely trying to focus on the positives. I am happy to be living all in the present. I'm still a bit jealous sometimes, but I'm trying to keep it all in perspective. Good luck in art school! I'm just in awe of aphants who can create art knowing what I do now. It's truly amazing!

[@SuzetteLouw]

I am the same. No visualization, no monologue. You are right about the forgiveness thing, thank you for pointing that out.☺

[@sephyeffy]

Exactly how I feel! I thought everybody could imagine the concept of something being there in their head, but I didn't know people could actually VISUALLY see things in their minds? The best I can describe it is feeling a presence in your head but it's not actually visible. Hell, some people even see colors when they close their eyes. All I've ever seen was pitch black, not even an outline of the object I'm thinking of. I found out about this a few days ago and it surprises me.

[@shaniklmosley]

I can’t imagine that!! 🫢🤯 No pun intended

[@RatsPicklesandMusic]

The thing that would bother me the most would be not dreaming normally. I LOVE to dream and sometimes I also lucid dream, so I become aware inside the dream that I am dreaming and I can start acting as if awake, but I'm in the dream world. I have flown on several occasions during this. It's so cool!

[@Noor-jw2tn]

I have gone into other dimensions. Able to move things by just looking at them, not even saying anything in my mind.

[@eclipse369.]

Dreams are not related and more subjective per person regardless of quite blind mind or not.

[@andywells8890]

Super thoughtful, interesting, and enlightening. You've helped me understand your experiences beautifully.

[@quietmindinside4808]

Thank you so much!

[@brooke7978]

Oh my gosh heyyyyyy! I also have Aphantasia and no inner monologue! Omg I can’t believe I found someone with the same thing. I love you ❤️ we’re twinning

[@quietmindinside4808]

Yay!! There are literally dozens of us 🤣!

[@evaroth4374]

It explains so much for me! I always hated visualization practices 😅

[@reneemorris9708]

I just learned about aphantasia this week. My mind was completely blown. I have inner monologue but I can NOT see pictures! I was like what?!! When I found out people Really see images and that not everyone thinks with words. Like what?! I thought everyone thought with WORDS!! 🤯 mind blown completely

[@quietmindinside4808]

Yeah, it is definitely a shock! How are you doing with it? It seems some people can just brush it off and others get very emotional over it. I'm definitely the latter, although I'm trying to think positively about it.

[@cammsb]

Can you daydream?

[@quietmindinside4808]

@@cammsb I'm actually planning to do this for my next video. I can make up stories in my head using my forced inner voice or "milk voice", but they're certainly not as immersive as the daydreams you guys can make. Usually I only do it when I'm bored and trying to get to sleep.

[@reneemorris9708]

Camron Berrian honestly no.

[@reneemorris9708]

Quiet Mind Inside I’m ok with it. I was just more excited that I had an answer to why I could not visualize during meditation. I thought maybe I was meditating wrong or that I wasn’t spiritually ready, and that was upsetting to me.

[@TheHouseOffice]

"When I stop talking" *points to brain* "its quiet." I am seething with envy.

[@quietmindinside4808]

Is there really always sound? I honestly can't imagine it. My husband said it's like a TV on in the next room, so you can't really understand what's being said until you tune in. Sounds so weird to me.

[@Roxjetlagged]

That's why people say "I can't hear myself" or "I can't hear my thoughts " when they are distracted by noise. I always thought that was a figure of speech haha

[@quietmindinside4808]

@@Roxjetlagged 🤯 Oh my! I never made that connection until you commented that! Holy moley, it literally means you can't hear your inner voice? Wow! I thought it was just an expression.

[@Roxjetlagged]

@@quietmindinside4808 I can if I make an effort and sometimes when something shocking happens or I'm tired I might start saying things in my mind and I can hear myself. Like "OMG i need to sleeep" or *WTF NOOO" or "ok let's do this" haha. But it happens rarely. And when it does it feels silly and exaggerated to me and most of the time it comes out out loud. Usually I dont hear words as if I'm having a conversation. That's not how I think.

[@quietmindinside4808]

@@Roxjetlagged Yeah, I'm the same. I end up saying a lot of stuff like that out loud. I wonder if people think it's weird 🤣

[@AM-xt4jj]

I think the term imagining is often a bit off for me. I have an example: when I visualise the letter P. I have the shapes in front of me. A half circle with a straight line. They do not have a size, they have position to each other but no position in physical space. They do not have thickness nor colour. But it is already a somehow visual experience. Now, if I concentrate I can give them a colour. I can make it look like writing on a paper, or graffiti on a wall. But the more details I try to incorporate the more exhausting it is. I can really push it, similar to maybe imagining a lot of concepts, or voices, or music instruments, or tastes, etc. at the same time, then it will literally give me a headache. As someone who does a lot of drawing that inner eye is crutial. So I am training it. Things I imagine are often more symbol than object, like the letter P. Next example, I think of phone. I have a symbol (often of a memory or specific object) now I try to draw it from imagination. I do not know the material, nor the reflection, I do not know the proportion, but the more I do it the better. With time I know distances to each other, I can measure them roughly in my head. I see the square shape, i see the depth to it. And I build it up from that. Basically, what I can draw without reference I can also see in my mind with clarity.

[@Betielix]

For me is the same, but I think is more like spatial perception, you know where are all those in the space, but is not an image. If I concentrate I can kind of see something but it last less than a blink of an eye.

[@dk_kardboard]

How ever your mind works it is clearly working well for you - because you are remarkably capable of explaining and contrasting life experience. And yes, “We are the Champions” often can stuck in my head and it’s never invited. Best wishes.

[@nathalieaird8793]

You explain IT so well! I had no Idea what aphantasia was! I am not.. but you have just open my mind to a different way humans are! IT s going to help me better communicate! I want toi congratulate you for getting note awere of what you are.. and thanking you very muvh for sharing youre New knoledge if yourself. xx

[@quietmindinside4808]

Thank you! I'm glad it was helpful!

[@neilhuggan]

Thanks for sharing. I’ve recently discovered I’m Aphantasic and it hit me like a speeding train emotionally. It’s helpful to know that others go through a similar, existential crisis. Been in touch with Adam Zeman at Exeter Uni here in UK as he’s leading on research into Aphantasia in case you want to get involved too.

[@marblegarden8456]

I have the opposite of this, hyperphantasia. I can imagine basically anything with as much detail as I desire, and can augment and manipulate these images and models however I like - basically like a computer graphics demonstration. It never occurred to me that other people were more limited, but I guess this may explain why I have always been artistically gifted. One downside may be that I have difficulty sleeping, it can be hard for me to turn my brain off, and it actually does sort of feel like a computer churning through processing, and I just can’t terminate them. Imagine that every thought you have while lying there is accompanied with imagery, sounds, sensations… it can be very hard to zone out and sleep.

[@laststand6420]

That's pretty impressive. I can do the same but not quite that vividly... Numbers, graphs, and logical transformations are all pretty easy though.

[@bogdiworksV2]

Yup, same here, also artistically inclined. I can visualise anything, anytime, in as much or as little detail as I want, including sounds, touch etc. On the downside, I have to be careful what I look at, because I can get traumatised by violent images and it can take a long time for the emotional impact to dull out.

[@daniellebwx]

I can say, picture, smell, taste anything I imagine. I can speak in other peoples voices in my head, but thats quieter than my inner monologue, its more like hearing them. I can imagine pain too, not feel it but imagine it and I can't explain the difference. I can play whole scenarios in my head like a movie, like put myself on a date with someone I like. Or sometimes horrible situations like someone dying. My dreams are just like full blown movies and I have become conscious to the fact I am dreaming many times too. Which is freaky af!! My inner monologue is constant. Like a narrator of life. It reads the words on the page for me, and says in words whatever I focus on visually in real life. I think my words before I speak (but not always lol). I'm not sure if its my own voice. Its the one I've always heard, I guess its like mine but nicer to hear. My inner monologue is not deciding what I say, its just narrating what I think. I can think many things at once while the narrating is happening. My mind is blown that not everyone does this. I feel like I wouldn't have depression if I was like you, how you just verbalised your emotions, thats awesome and good for you and makes you more open. Whereas I just internalise emotions and it makes me so closed and punishes myself.

[@libertyauto]

I am only 6 minutes into this video and I had to stop and just say you are wonderful! You help me understand what its like for you, so well. Thanks for your video.

[@sheilatompkins7945]

I just found out i have this as well. And you are the closest to what i have. You have the same symptoms as me. Im glad to find someone else like me.

[@makayla8998]

Maybe look into “The Four Claire’s” they are usually talked about with the idea of psychic abilities, but I think more realistically, they describe different ways our brains may think and function. For example: The most commonly know Clair is Clairvoyant. Meaning clear sight. Someone who has “visions” or can see images in their heads. People like you may be more clairaentient, being able to gather information based on feeling and sensing rather than visually observing.

[@quietmindinside4808]

Interesting. I haven't heard of this before, but I will look it up.

[@calliefreeman765]

i wouldn’t say we can “see” movies in our head it’s more like remembering and viewing memories. for example if you say beach to me i remember a beach i’ve been to. and when we’re reading books we take memories and build a scene in our minds. we can remember faces and places and create a view from memory.

[@quietmindinside4808]

Interesting. Actually, my husband keeps reminding me that you all don't have 4k video running through your minds all day 😄. My only experience with visualization is what is depicted in movies, so it's hard for me to imagine it otherwise.

[@JapKonoko]

Not everything is from memory, you can create a lot of new images in your had, of course, the base could be something you already saw and then add variations to it,for example the beach you mentioned, you can create a completely new beach in your head that could look totally different to the one you have already been to before,you could even imagen how a beach could look like on another planet. Probably the ability to visualise things differs from person to person,and i think another thing that makes a difference to it is weather you have your eyes closed or not. With your eyes closed it sometimes feels like a movie, but it's not like it's projecting in front of your eyes, but more like your mind sees it.

[@Emily-ci6vc]

Yeah, for example when I'm reading about a park or something I imagine the same one, or one from a set of a few I've seen. It can be difficult when I am imagining something and then the book contradicts my image, to change the image I imagine.

[@quietmindinside4808]

@@Emily-ci6vc Oooh, so what if a book is about something that you have absolutely no knowledge of? Like something sci-fi far happens on a different planet? Do you see anything?

[@Emily-ci6vc]

@@quietmindinside4808 I can still create my own images of what happens, but it's based on things I've seen in movies or real life and it's less clear. It's kind of like taking bits and piece of things I've seen and merging them into a new image that fits the story. It sounds so crazy when I try to explain it!

[@diontarrant5805]

Lol i have a constant inner voice and i can invent and build things in my minds eye very accurately... i couldn't imagine not being able to

[@nickyhomann9071]

@Quiet Mind Inside You're so lovely- your warmth really comes thru so strongly... you have a big advantage in that you are probably more present in the moment. Those of us that are intensely visual can get caught up in excessive pondering on past or future scenarios. A busy mind is most times a real drawback as often those voices are negative & self defeating. Your family is lucky to have you & I'm sure your enthusiasm & passion is a real gift to them

[@seank5661]

You helped me so much it was so comforting to hear someone thinks just as I do. Thank you I really fell apart and felt so freaked out and alone.

[@quietmindinside4808]

I'm so glad I could help. Honestly, I totally freaked out, too. The reason I decided to post this video in the first place was because every video I saw online was so neutral about it, and I was definitely having strong feelings. It definitely does get better, though! There are still some things that crush me when I think about them, but I'm trying to really focus on any positives I can find.

[@guarddog318]

Quiet Mind, trust me when I tell you that it's equally unfathomable for someone like me to hear about this, or that it can even exist. I draw, paint, and write... meditate...and I can also remember the voices of family members as clearly if they were standing there speaking to me... even when they've been gone for over 30 years. I see, hear, smell, and even feel ( as in textures ) things in my mind. And I would feel totally crippled if I woke up one day and that ability was gone. I literally could not function. So people NOT being able to do this, and still being capable of living their lives? I can't imagine how that works... and I do have a very vivid imagination. But then I'm odd, apparently, by even the standards of people like me who have an internal monolog and visualization: I can actually imagine and create NEW faces in my mind... people I've never met or seen. ...which I hear is supposed to be impossible. But then I can also remember all the way back to when I was 18 mo. old, and not being able to speak, or understand what was being said... as well as completely tripping out the first time I saw old people with wrinkles and gray hair. ( I thought they were some sort of monster, that was gonna eat me alive when mom handed me to my one great aunt. ) I can still see all of that, to this day.

[@resistancepublishing]

If I couldn’t see images and hear monologues in my head I would go crazy. As a writer, I need these additions to my imagination and they contribute to my artistic side. without them life would be so boring.

[@jaakkoalakopsa6966]

Think about it this way - instantly knowing something without having to imagine it by sound or image.

[@resistancepublishing]

@@jaakkoalakopsa6966 for I couldn’t live like that but it’s a great concept for a character I created. I need to research more

[@Icantchangemyhandlehelp]

​@@jaakkoalakopsa6966Sometimes I actually have thoughts like that happening while my internal monologue is on a separate train of thought, if that makes sense. I think I sorta understand it.

[@joleeaek]

When a song gets stuck in your head, you "hear" it. That's how we hear our thoughts.

[@quietmindinside4808]

Ok, cool. So it's not really that loud then? I guess I'm imagining it sounds like a person's voice in there. Like they're talking right in your ear. But I guess it's softer, more like they're standing behind you far away. Does that sound about right?

[@joleeaek]

@@quietmindinside4808 It's not loud because we don't actually hear it with our ears because it's not really there. But we "hear" it inside our brain. We "hear" the music and the words with the same sounds. It's a mental recreation. Does that help? People decribe it as loud but what they mean is prevalent.

[@quietmindinside4808]

@@joleeaek Yes, very helpful! Thanks!

[@cassiesevigny]

Quiet Mind Inside also the volume is sometimes a perception ofthe voice's intensity, like CAPS SOUNDS LIKE SHOUTING but it isn't louder, exactly, just sounds shouty and intense instead of calm and neutral.

[@evedotcom]

Thank you for sharing! I don't quite have aphantasia but my imagery is generally hazy, distant and fragmented. I relate a lot to your experience. I have little - no inner monologue as well, but when I read or try to plan something to say I can hear my voice. And I can hear music very clearly. I remember thinking of it in a depressing way too initially, like I was unknowingly blind. And like you said, that other people were like superheroes, living more enhanced lives than me, but now I'm not so sure. It's different but I don't know if it's better.

[@alexandrapak9957]

your experience is so cool and not any less than any other persons experience!! some memories go away and some ppl can’t remember things from 10 years ago, this is very fascinating and i’m very happy you decided to share this!

[@quietmindinside4808]

Thank you!