WHAT'S THE CHAT: IS LOBOLA THE SAME AS SELLING SOMEONE? SHOULD WOMEN HELP THEIR MEN PAY LOBOLA?

[@luteforchrist9118]

I love how this Lerato girl thinks ❤️ It's always important to fully understand something before you can object it and influence other poeple to object it.

[@BenittaDanielle]

Very true!!

[@ouberblack4086]

The thing about this is when you marry someone in a different country there should honor both tradition instead of one. And i do believe it is selling of humans no matter how you explain it.

[@BenittaDanielle]

That's true as a marriage is about 2 people and 2 families. I also hear your chat about it being selling someone. Is it something you will definitely disregard when getting married (if you wish to marry)?

[@Anyasatu]

I love "whats the chat"! you literally never disappoint. I love the crew too.

[@BenittaDanielle]

Thank you!

[@divinejoy1107]

''It is not about you Dave'' sis, you crack me up, like I'm literally laughing.

[@BenittaDanielle]

its true 😂😂

[@jackson6446]

Y'all just gave me a whole new perspective on Lobola coz for a long time I thought it was selling someone but now I see the point.So thank you this was very informative

[@BenittaDanielle]

Our pleasure!

[@karabomohlala7257]

As for I'm not a Popeye nah it killed me I'm weak 🤣

[@BenittaDanielle]

😂😂😂😂

[@ntsakobaloyi233]

lobola is a wedding, a traditional wedding. it is a Customary marriage that is recognised as a valid marriage in terms of the Recognition of Customary Marriages Act 120 of 1998. This means that the marriage must be entered into in line with the traditions and customs of the parties and the people getting married must be older than 18.

[@BenittaDanielle]

Yes! Can't believe we forgot to mention this. Thank you for educating! 💯

[@TheJooceza]

Congratulations on the 2k Benitta🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

[@BenittaDanielle]

Yay! Thank you!

[@Beno8949]

2k with a bang 🔥🔥🔥Congrats

[@BenittaDanielle]

Thank you!

[@moseshlakotsa9342]

According to my understanding lobolA it's inform appreciating ND being thankful to the parent of the girl lastly there is a question you ask to mzi whether it's OK for girl to pay lobolA or not ,it depends whether his not a able by the time she wants he to get married or by the time she wants him pay lobolA ..all in one trust counts, and sacrifice

[@BenittaDanielle]

Yeah, I think it is about appreciating and showing love and respect

[@Anyasatu]

LOL. if I had to be a guy, I wouldn't let my girlfriend pay lobola for me. I believe in some gender roles. One of the things that a lady just can't do is pay lobola for her man. That's just me. As a man, I also think there's some sort of pride In saying "I managed to pay her lobola which means that I can provide for her and my family" which ultimately means that you're responsible. Going through the whole lobola thing is also a personal test for the guy.

[@BenittaDanielle]

I definitely feel you on that. There's just a way things are done that should be respected (if it is beneficial)

[@Yourlife_94a]

You believe in SOME gender rules, is that not a bias statement ? You can’t pick and choose

[@Anyasatu]

@@Yourlife_94a why can’t I pick and choose? Some things aren’t black and white.

[@sediman1662]

That OMG moment😂

[@BenittaDanielle]

😂😂😂

[@Anyasatu]

Lobola is also another way of seeing if the guy is serious bruh. its cold outchea in these streets haha

[@BenittaDanielle]

But some gents pay lobola for multiple women and aren't serious

[@suicydebeatz]

I actually just set down during i Lobola. You know most of that money or cows we use it on umakati preparing for her new home, slaughter for the services buy gifts her new home. And there is a saying in Xhosa that says umfazi akaqgitywa meaning you can't put a price tag on someone if you want buy them you will pay forever

[@BenittaDanielle]

That saying! Love that

[@Wizhdomination]

I dont believe its the same as selling someone. its about principal. as much as it shows appreciation to the family, i feel that it shows your ability to provide as a man

[@BenittaDanielle]

I feel you on that. Intention is everything

[@rontolliver976]

Modern guys resist paying Lobola. The pressure should not be on the man to negotiate. Money should not be a negotiating factor for evidence of love and marriage.

[@BenittaDanielle]

Do you believe there should be a negotiating factor? and if so, what do you think it should be?

[@muzimocah505]

Kuyisibopho phakathi kwemindeni kodwa ngaphezu kwakho konke ulobola Kwakho ngoba intombi oyishadayo izokuzalela izingane. yingakho ungathathi izingane emndenini wentombazane ukuthi awuzange ukhokhe i-lobola

[@sediman1662]

The guy with the 👓 mara

[@BenittaDanielle]

😂😂😂

[@muzimocah505]

Lobola is for the kids. That's why if nihlukana before getting married and ninengane the man has the right to take the kids because he paid lobola. It's never about man owning women or whatsoever.

[@BenittaDanielle]

Thanks for the perspective! 💯

[@thobi6639]

Would the guys pay lobola for a women who isn’t a black African? You know, “to show respect to the family” or “to join the two families together”?

[@BenittaDanielle]

Very good question

[@Anyasatu]

what does Qiniso mean when he says franchising? loool

[@BenittaDanielle]

Ayy😂😂

[@gfreezy619]

They why would they charge ridiculous amounts,. Prize of a car.,lol,. Modern lobola Is business. It's not honoring a woman if the family will decide to object marriage because the man can pay a certain amount of money. I get the appreciation of your parents raising the lady, , but who appreciated the parents of the man who is getting taking on the responsibility of husband?.

[@BenittaDanielle]

Very interesting point you're raising here