What seem normal?

[@nhiendo3426]

This is so sweet. I’m shedding salty water from my eyes As a person who struggles with motor control due to my disability. I really appreciate this.

[@sajourwebster6774]

Shedding salty water is so funny to me lol

[@MilkyC0ffee13]

This was the first thing that comes to my mind the BF might have motor disability. And he better get checked. Its alarming when a grown adult choked on his meal without not knowing how to counteract it.

[@CrazyAuna94]

Ikr, I have a bit of neuropathy in my hands, so I'm always flinging stuff everywhere, including my phone. When I can't grip my boots to put them on, he helps me. He does so much more, too! ❤

[@teresanu]

I have this weird thing about shoelaces, can kinda tie em but it takes me a second and can never do it well. Think it's some kinda mental block cause I don't like laced shoes. My kids are gonna have to fend for themselves when it comes to shoelaces.

[@ambermaxwell7633]

I hadn't considered neurological motor issues but that just doubles the wholesomeness of this I don't have those sorts of disabilities but there's someone who does have disabilities I do appreciate when people can give understanding rather than get upset and be all pissy

[@missaniebananie6473]

The fact that he didn’t complain once and then politely asked if she would cut up his pancakes the next morning and she found it endearing leads me to believe with full confidence that her love language is acts of service and his reciprocal love language is the same. This is a sweet thing to do for someone you love

[@DevonRex116]

Her love language is treating a grown man like a toddler. His love language is going out with a woman who acts like his mum.

[@maglor2414]

​​@@DevonRex116finally someone sensible in the comment section. All these people really expect and idolize women who sacrifice everything, including their time, just to baby a grown ass man and call it love language, while he doesn't give anything back. (In case if he doesn't have neurological problems or disabilities)

[@tiffanyh629]

​@@DevonRex116but it works for them and if they don't complain or hold resentment, why change something that's not broken just because it doesn't fit the status quo? Yes, there are situations where the partner-often men-are infantile and the other partner-often women-soon resent picking up after them. But that mostly happens due to ungratefulness and unmindfulness rather than malignancy and lack of chemistry of reciprocation. A genuine "thank you", "I got your back" and "I'll get that for you." Goes beyond a long way, it makes empires. Ofc we don't know OP so we don't know how this relationship worked out but if they're happy with it and it works, why make them change?

[@ShadowAndPhoenyxReadings]

​@DevonRex116 the part your missing is where when she doesn't do things for him he simply tries to do it himself. He doesn't ask her to, and he doesn't throw a tantrum if she doesn't do it. He also might have disabilities. No one knows with a short story like this

[@jaimej110]

If she decides to coddling to show her affection and he's fully down with that without being a dick if she stops why are you bugging​@@DevonRex116?

[@virginiaelliott9000]

Every relationship is unique. If it works for you and you’re both genuinely happy then all power to ya! These are precisely the kinds of things you’d desperately miss about the person if you lost them. Very sweet.

[@newbydefault124]

Amen

[@larissa-je8dc]

Yep and honestly it really don’t matter what someone else thinks at the end of the day it ain’t they’re relationship it’s yours and if you love them then more power to ya

[@hin0]

yknow i was concerned at first but then his reaction to her not doing things for him makes it all better. he didnt demand she do it, he didnt get angry, didnt throw a tantrum just tried to as best as he could himself. I think its sweet

[@hidalgo__]

The best he could. A grown ass man and can't tie his shoes or cut food properly

[@sissycenny]

​@hidalgo__ you never know what people go through growing up, could've been abused and ran away or smth at a young age

[@alexanderh8129]

@@hidalgo__he might have autism or other issues with daily life

[@alekblack7609]

some people have problems with the more delicate motions, i think a good example is Daniel Radcliffe.

[@jayking2228]

I'm a grown ass woman that can barely make calls, is just learing how to take care of her hair and skin and has trouble making eye contact in crowded spaces. Age doesnt dictate knowledge and as long as he is willing to keep trying then he shouldn't be shamed for it. ​@@hidalgo__

[@rosewolf9355]

That's definitely love, to take care of someone in that kind of way. It wasn't forced, she's just trying to make his life easier and it's sweet

[@radhiadeedou8286]

Love would be to admit that this is not normal and to encourage him to seek medical help. His situation is concerning

[@nthnthms1212]

​@@radhiadeedou8286Nope. Thats how she shows her affection.

[@Tilari13]

Exactly. I get my bfs work clothes, water, keys and wallet ready for him every morning and make sure he has comfies ready when he gets off work. Among other little things. Not cause he can’t or I have to but because I love him and I know it makes his day a little bit easier. It might be weird but it’s definitely out of love

[@chainlinkfence4963]

​@@nthnthms1212nah struggling with basic tasks is a reason for concern if a grown man can't cut a steak something is wrong

[@VarianAlastair]

It's not love, it's weaponized incompetence. An able-bodied grown man who can't cut his own pancakes and tie his own shoes is just pathetic

[@mariannagregorio2905]

I love this kind of realization. You're a team, and sometimes one of you needs help. I bet he does things for her, too.

[@billnye9552]

He didn't get mad when she didn't do it for him but he still struggled, it could be that he has motor function issues. They should get him tested just in case.

[@JP_Loco_93]

Could also have autism, regardless we don't know the full story, so it ain't right to judge him based on the limited info we have.

[@goodmorning2386]

Yeah it’s definitely possible. He should get checked out for something like that just in case, but their little routine is sweet

[@randomwhatever5403]

​@@JP_Loco_93yeah learning some motor skills problems are often a thing that can come with autism recontextualized alot post diognoises

[@biancafriesen1285]

Exactly

[@shelbyk7675]

That was my thought too about the motor/cognitive issues

[@dianacoles1017]

If he has problems tying laces, poblems cutting food and difficulties chewing/swallowing which led to him almost choking it seems highly likely that he has neurological issues that should be checked out. Sadly there are various conditions, some of them which can be progressive which can produce these effects. In the meantime their relationship sounds healthy and loving so i think the critics should take a hike.

[@kaylee9456]

i thought the same

[@AkhtarM28]

My thoughts exactly.

[@lissy8084]

Not necessarily a neurological issue, like she sad he's very hasty in the morning and if he doesn't care that much about the shoelaces they might turn out uneven. But they are most certainly complimentary regarding their love language which is very cute

[@lordinquisitorstefanauster846]

Critics are just miserable and sad and they will never find love like this in this life unless thay change their mindset.

[@Sameer-ox7wu]

Came to say this

[@LavaLampLady]

A great example of how other people’s perception shouldn’t matter to you (sometimes) What a lovely story. I hope they’re good.

[@maryiv291]

He tried when she didn’t do it. He didn’t complain, it’s beautiful

[@zk6019]

when they break up she’ll complain “i did everything for him he was such a baby!!”. like girl you chose to.

[@mohinimoh]

​@@zk6019 look like you have experience

[@Nystarii]

​@@zk6019If, not when ❤

[@citricx6447]

​@@zk6019looks like you love to stereotype

[@LA-mz1dd]

It's pathetic that he can't cut his own food unless it's a medical reason. His shoes being uneven is a her issue. They are incredibly codependent and that's not a good thing, but at least it's her choice

[@shotaaizawaeraserhead564]

Her love language is acts of service, she cares about him and he simply appreciates it. What a sweet story❤

[@DTGG99Clover]

It's wild to me the way "love languages" are almost always about giving service to men, by women being the "acts of service type" everytime while men only give sex back because they're "the physical touch type", if he was also doing things for her, we would be talking about love languages but this is just raising an adult child, even if there was a neurological problem, he's fine with not seeking professional help because he has a servant at home

[@vibeswithnana]

⁠@@DTGG99Cloverwhat?

[@aSunkeee]

Love languages are about how you receive/recognise love from a significant other. Not how you give it.

[@katztoffelbrei6780]

​@@DTGG99Clover You're to 100% right. And that's the purpose of this "love language" nonsense. It's not scientific, it was just religious propaganda and an attempt to justify the gender care gap in these relationships

[@user-wl8zm2gl5r]

​@@DTGG99Cloveri promise you on everything i love or have ever loved that its not a fraction of how deep you are making it seem. Idk if you've ever been in a relationship but your view of love seems like you've never been in love and have only experienced it 2nd hand from the internet, not anywhere on the internet but reddit. Relationships are not at all how they're portrayed on reddit, you only get the extremes on reddit. Almost everything you said is either completely incorrect or ignorance

[@artywolve]

Friend had a valid reason to be concerned, she listened, observed, and decided everything was indeed still in balance.

[@CentipedeOffical]

I had a similar situation but my partner had a surgery for his brain tumor when he was a child and the tumor is located where the nerves control is hands and motor ability is controlled. I do things like cut his nails for him or write things for him because his hands shake so much he accidentally would harm himself. My friend still made comments like I deserved better and i was like his "mom" on something he couldn't control. We both do different things for eachother like a team. Not a parental type thing.

[@ImNotOceanz]

@CentipedeOfficalsounds like in your situation your friends kinda an asshole, I doubt he wanted to have a brain tumor that makes motor functions difficult

[@1pa3la1]

Not every relationship is the same. It seems like he truly appreciates you doing all of that for him and you seem to enjoy being able to do these acts of love for him. If it works it works.

[@ambermaxwell7633]

Precisely😂❤

[@SallyMander9-r5u]

from the sounds of it he probably struggles with more precise motor functions they should probably get that checked out im happy for them though

[@robynray462]

I think his response to her NOT cutting his steak is what y’all are missing. He didn’t get upset and demand she do it, like a child would. Some people like serving others and if you are going to be in service to your partner then being grateful and not demanding is a huge thing❤ This is cute

[@raizenlim6910]

I was looking for this comment. There's a difference between entitled and out of love. Action was done out of love and the guy was legitimately trying and not demanding

[@SYMBlOTlC]

Bro lets put aside weather their relationship is healthy or not, this man sounds clinical r*tarded. How does a grown man struggle to cut a steak, and needs help with pancakes. He is unwell

[@Finessesky224]

Who exactly is missing that when majority of comments are pointing it out?

[@claudeyaz]

​@@Finessesky224 Those comments were made like a day or 2 ago, so the top rated comments at that time, weren't all as positive as they are now, the video has been up for so long now, that depositive comments have gone towards the top, and you only saw the 6 hours ago

[@dianoska]

You are all crazy, a grown ass person can't tie their shoes and cut their meat?

[@mrsw2923]

My husband does so much for me and always has. I do the same for him. It is no one else’s business what works for us. We are both sr citizens with disabilities. Going strong for 30 years.

[@Themallowarchives]

As an autistic person who struggles to do basic things and is generally seen as "childish", this is honestly really sweet to me

[@cuteONE22]

For me it's unattractive. I'm not marrying a child, I want a real man

[@jlovesj3335]

Same

[@kennethhanes5438]

This guy sounds like most construction workers over 25 bending and moving hurts don’t give a fuck about my laces and my hands are fucked from years of manual labour the people thinking this is an actual medical issue instead of someone who’s autistic has as or works in construction or similarly punishing lifestyle job are fucking loopy doom scrolling

[@ALBINOCAT22]

Im terrified of seeming incompetent at basic tasks, so I tend to let people do it for me. It means so much to me without making a big deal

[@Efeste.ban.]

Same I feel like relying on my family all the time (even my little sister) makes me come off as dependent and needy to others when they come over 😭

[@marioteodor5441]

If you are happy about it then it's not wrong cuz he still loves you and you love him

[@ile9223]

Really I guess you are ok when his co-workers are laughing their legs off at company dinner too?

[@SexySexHaver]

​@ile9223 if you spend your entire life worrying about what other people think, you aren't living for yourself but for the approval of others. If you and your partner are happy with the arrangement and it doesn't hurt anyone, there is no issue

[@Law10205]

​@@ile9223 and? That's on them

[@oceanareuherrera2610]

​@@ile9223 I mean yeah, if you're not always scared of what everyone thinks about you

[@jayking2228]

​@@ile9223 most adults understand that others are different and won't laugh at someone for something so trivial. Maybe you should reassess why you fixate on these miniscule tasks to the point where you feel you WOULD reprimand someone for their perceived shortcomings.

[@onionwarrior7447]

My dad’s love language is acts of service, and for the longest time, I’ve lowkey felt like he was basically my mom’s glorified slave. As I grew older, I’ve come to realize that not only is it his way of showing love, it’s also a point of pride for him, how he takes care of his family. He’s not the breadwinner, and he’s had his fair share of his financial struggles. But he’s never not once failed to take care of us. He cooks and even packs our lunches sometimes, does our chores when we’re sick or too tired, drives us around, fixes and cleans up around the house. I’m so, so incredibiy grateful to be raised by a wonderful human being. ❤

[@catherinealexander2582]

My husband helps me a lot with seemingly normal adult tasks but that's coz of my disabilities but I don't look disabled so to outsiders it must look like he's pampering me too much. I have been told by others to stop using him so much. He doesn't feel used and is happy to help as he hates seeing me struggle or hurt myself. Sometimes people need to but out.

[@alexissteele5274]

Same here.

[@goodvibes6226]

Why exactly can't people see this??

[@alexissteele5274]

@@goodvibes6226 because they would rather judge and bully disabled people to make themselves feel better

[@snowmonet3670]

​@@goodvibes6226 people are so quick to jump to conclusions and bad mouth others . I saw some saying it's "weaponized incompetence " while it could be very well motoric issues or he simply have autism or many other things . Having non obvious disability and having others think you are lazy is really frustrating

[@RK-fz7qc]

Exactly, I have cp and have limited use of my right hand and right leg. Sometimes I gotta get help from my husband

[@Sammy-t7x]

I have motor and sensory issues due to my neurodivergence and OCD and COPD and other physical chronic illnesses. Had an abusive childhood so no one ever helped me like people help children. Now that I'm an adult I have somehow learned to cope but idk whether to be very happy to know that there are people out there who can find the support they need in partners like OP or be upset that I will never have that.

[@Lucky_Soleil]

I hope you find your person that treats you right with love and care.

[@angelfromheaven123]

It isn't about equality. It is about equity in truthfulness. A real soul bound commitment.

[@LilianDresse]

I think the fact that he asked her to cut his pancakes shows that he notices that she does it especially for him but doesn't take it for granted / think it's her job. I would cut my partner's food up into small pieces too if I was the one cooking and if a choking incident happened before. And I think that it doesn't sound like she's acting like his mom, it sounds like they're leaning towards more traditional household roles out of habit and experience and if it works for them and both are happy, why not

[@chainlinkfence4963]

she is acting like his mom

[@foxwilson9881]

A​nd if hes autistic? Nerve damage? Motor issues? Violently abused as a child and never taught? Those with an easy life will never truly be able to understand the lives of those who have suffered through life instead of living it

[@P0txt9]

@@chainlinkfence4963yes, but they both love each other and he isn’t forcing her to do it, so I think it’s okay in their scenario.

[@heidiclement4923]

@@chainlinkfence4963No she isn’t. She is acting as his PARTNER. She started tying his shoes after a back injury. It became a habit. She cuts his food for her peace of mind after he choked. The fact he struggled with it might lend towards a motor function deficit, same with shoe laces. It’s small things that they both see and appreciate. There’s love and trust. It’s a loving relationship, not a parent-child one. Is it the one I have? No, it isn’t, but it is theirs and making it weird does nothing but cause trouble.

[@Punk_Butch_Bitch]

@@chainlinkfence4963I’d argue she isn’t acting like his mom, she’s simply helping accommodate him because of particular needs/wants he has. I’ve been in a relationship with a guy who def turned me into his mom, and I’ve also been in a relationship with someone (still in it now) who’s legally blind, so I do certain things to help them (hold things closer to his face when I want to show him something, tell him how many steps there are when it’s dark and he can’t see, check to make sure he’s shaved his beard properly, etc). There’s definitely a difference in both relationships and that’s in how the person acts and treats you otherwise. He isn’t dependent on her for everything, but he is appreciative of the things she does to make his life easier.

[@AmazingFalcon276]

Normal is a setting on the dryer. This is YOUR normal. My great grandma ironed socks for my Papa every morning. They were in love and had 13 kids. That's how love works. You do what you can to make life easier for those you love.

[@darlathewench]

Thank you! Each couple has their own normal, and we aren't even told if he has autism, or damage due to injuries, so it could be that. As long as no one is forcing anyone to do anything and they are both happy, I feel like it should be fine.

[@maglor2414]

It's not normal when the society always pressures women to be the one who always sacrifices and don't even expect anything back

[@patatav7780]

How come you people always mention what the woman does but never what the man did?

[@xiaoxiao3260]

​@@patatav7780because the story is about what a woman did.

[@xiaoxiao3260]

​@@maglor2414it's also not normal when society always ignores the sacrifices of man, and this is coming from a woman, but they've got a way of undermining what husbands and fathers do for their families.

[@renenelife3101]

I’m a cook at a health care facility and I have to dice, grind and purée meats every day for people who can’t chew, it gives me a lot of joy to be able to make food accessible for people who have a hard time with it, from people who can’t chew to people who can’t hold utensils properly, there’s many reasons to go out of your way to make someone’s life a bit easier, especially if it’s respected and valued on all sides

[@_zombie_queen_]

Youre happy and not hurting anyone. I wven appreciate the care youve taken. Before i was left paralyzed, 3 month coma left ateophied and disabled, i would heat up the car for him so it was warm inside before work. I would pack lunches, with stuoid notes, would make dinners, i also worked full time but cut it down to four days as i got more and more ill. Was still paying all the bills. We used his money for fun and mine for bills as it was my house we wernt married and he would help with food. It worked. It made us both happy. Do what you want as long as youre not hurting anyone. Maybe i spoiled him. I think that a lot now. So be careful how much you do, or set boundaries.

[@robertgriffith9613]

And ya know what? So what if you spoiled the guy. Like you said, you were happy, things were working. This idea we‘ve been pedaling where exerting effort for anyone but yourself is to be shamed is stupid. If it made you happy then that is literally all that matters. Good feelings, good memories, good life.

[@saimashupti469]

If we aren't gonna spoil our loved ones, who will?

[@susmitabasu1549]

Are not you together

[@susmitabasu1549]

Just asking cause it seems a bit selfish that he didn't try to lend help when you were ill.

[@_zombie_queen_]

@@susmitabasu1549 what from that pharagraph do you think, hobestly im curious. I did spend our honeymoon inna coma so it was a learning curve

[@lorddampnut5275]

Honestly, it's just sounds like he's got some mobility issues and she's helping him out. Which is what your partner should do. That being said, it's also good that her friend did notice this. There's many cases where it is a man wanting his wife to be his mother.

[@ruebenhill3113]

I second this

[@Sasu123456789x1]

Exactly 💯

[@DTGG99Clover]

A good partner would seek professional help, she's not a trained nurse, yes she can do those things but what would happen the day she's not around?

[@CosmicCasi]

@@DTGG99CloverThen he can try to do it. Did you not hear the part where he struggled with his steak but kept going or the part where his shoelaces were uneven all day but he still did it? He has trouble doing it but he can still do it. She just helps him like any other partner would.

[@alesbianhotmess]

​@@DTGG99Clover he's not a baby. He can make the choice to go to the doctor if he wants to or not. Or are you comfortable with people making decisions for your body?

[@Hell0WrId]

I have a lot of motor issues (unsure if that’s because of anything, I’m personally not assuming) and I struggle to tie my shoes, cut properly, on top of many other issues, so hearing this filled me with so much joy. He’s not treating her like she’s his mom, she WANTS to help him struggle less. He’s perfectly capable and will do it himself, it’s her decision to make life easier for him because she really does love him. What a beautiful story.

[@Elaxmai]

I love how she decided she doesn’t have to be normal and that she would do anything to stay with him is pure couple goals ❤love

[@JustanotherYoutuber771]

It’s couple goals to have to treat your boyfriend like a literal toddler? Y’all are really out here praising him for simply not getting aggressive when she wouldn’t cut his food for him?

[@Elaxmai]

@ as he should? some people have Mental health issues so He could maybe Not be Able to Really comprehend doing simple tasks but the fact that he tried to do them instead of getting mad and making her do it is nice, Maybe next time Stop spreading hatred online and go outside

[@madeleinewanigesekera8858]

@@JustanotherKZbinr771 people love in different ways

[@thebeatleswin1]

“I dont care whats normal for other people, This is our normal” FUCKING THANK THE LORD ALMIGHTY IM SO HAPPY READING THAT. Yes, It does not matter if you relationship is “normal” to everyone else, Do what makes YOU AND YOUR PARTNER HAPPY, Fuck the world man, When you have some one in your corner with you you don’t need the world to think you two are normal

[@isabellamorris7902]

My question here is: what does OP worry about happening if she doesn't sort all these things out for him? I can't help but feel like the man can live with uneven shoelaces for a few weeks till he relearns to tie them. It's not like scary territory but she sounds like my mum -- trying to control every variable she can because she's anxious about what will happen if she forgets something. And my mum is nowhere near this intense, and also she is my actual parent. I don't think either partner is controlling just based on the limited context we get here, but who is going to help out BF if she's not there? Doesn't he feel stifled not being able to do simple tasks? Are there other health issues going on in the background? The potential issue is not that it's out of the norm (which is kind of a strawman tbh), it's that independence is one of the good parts of being an adult and it sounds like they're missing out on a lot of it

[@ТеодораАндреева]

I really love this type of care couples give to each other. It’s not about who can do what - it’s about what your partner can do for you, so you don’t have to and focus on the things you can do for them!

[@Chestet]

Он ничего не приносит ей. Зачем ей этот взрослый ребенок от чужой матери?

[@fritzthepiratefox]

@@Chestetyou cant really assume that stuff. just because she didnt explain all he does for her doesnt mean he doesnt do anything. its her relationship, not yours!

[@ViperTrixx]

This one doesn't sound bad. The friend had good intentions for sure to make sure her friend wasn't with one those dudes who takes advantage of their kindness. It sounds like he appreciates her. I can't do a lot for myself and my husband is basically a caregiver to me. I'm not taking advantage of him in any way. We have a child together. I spend most my dad taking care of her in a way that works for me and she's very well taken care of. When my husband comes home from work, he helps me when he can.

[@Minuano_Osborn.R.R.T_]

The misspeling is kinda funny.

[@midnightjasmine13]

I was recently around other people who told me that I am unhappy and brainwashed. The more that I protested, the more I felt like a person trying to prove that they aren't crazy and coming off crazier. I AM happy. People just don't know our relationship, nor should they.

[@RegalJester_EG]

Why did that actually melt my heart, ngl-

[@ile9223]

Because you are sick! You want to be an old fashioned weath nurse too,🤮

[@manifestationmaven111]

Same ❤❤

[@zoethezebra302]

What matters is whether you are happy in the relationship. Sure, he could be a little more independent, but this sounds like a cute routine rather than you acting like his mother.

[@chainlinkfence4963]

no it just sounds like she acts like his mother

[@Qanwa]

I love these types of relationships. A lot of people out there have weaknesses that people they love can't tolerate. It's beautiful to find this kind of compatibility.

[@Ullabulladulla]

​@chainlinkfence4963 lol okay. Only a mother helps?

[@zk6019]

when they break up she’ll complain “i did everything for him he was such a baby!!”. like girl you chose to.

[@greyscalesx]

Wild that ppl act like he's a godsend & the relationship is healthy jist bc he _checks notes_ didn't berate her or get violent when she stopped. Codependency & outright decency is still unhealthy. Bar for men is so low, satan stubs his toe on it in hell tf.

[@DeRone22]

Nah, it was so cute that he asked for her to cut his pancakes. Some people are natural caregivers and show love by taking care of their partners in several ways. I would definitely do this for my bf but only because I know he would be grateful not because he would demand it from me and also the only way it would be weird it would be if it would be sexualized like turned into some type of kink, but this is just showing love

[@nahroottoe]

This is literally so wholesome. Makes me think about how much i love my baby

[@Ihtiandr13]

It's not COMMON, but absolutely NORMAL ❤

[@MAmbashta07]

You don't understand how sweet is that he didn't complain. Mostly when you do something for people and then suddenly you stop doing it. They feel obligated that you have to do it. But this guy is a sweetheart.

[@annalisanorman9013]

The bar is in hell omg.

[@m.a.l.832]

​@@annalisanorman9013can people just shut up about "the bar" because the low keeps on changing. Just say you hate things that differ from the norm.

[@altalt479]

It's the bare fcking minimum jesus 💀 oh WOWWW he didn't complain when his mommy didn't cut up his food?? How sweet and cute 🥰 that's actually pathetic asf. Stop praising such useless men for doing the most basic shit ever. God I need you women to stand tf up and stop babying grown adult men. This is actually insane

[@altalt479]

​​@@m.a.l.832 no I hate seeing grown men acting like literal toddlers and grown women enabling this bs. I don't gaf if she's happy about it or not. Her man is absolutely useless and the codependency he has on her isn't healthy. Sometimes being happy isn't what's best in the relationship. I know crazy right? It's almost like there's more to a relationship than your happiness, and this grown man will literally die without her. Which isn't normal whatsoever, no person in a relationship should be that dependent on another it's a recipe for disaster. If she gets ill who tf is gonna be looking after her man baby? What if she dies? What if they have children? This man isn't a functioning adult and that's not normal at all. Stop enabling uselessness.

[@seastar-qw2qg]

​@@altalt479 ok😂

[@EverythingWithEllie]

That’s actually so sweet. The love they share seems so lovely. He didn’t complain once, and she is so kind. They seem wonderful

[@nicogomez8768]

No bc the "can you cut my pancakes tomorrow?" Made me lowkey teary 🥺🥺🥺

[@paigesteiner4197]

They’re both happy and that’s what’s important. I would do all this and more for my bf. The fact that he didn’t ask her why she didn’t cut his steak and instead kept trying to do it himself shows that this isn’t a thing he made her do. She did it on her own and he’s gotten used to it. It’s a way of showing love for your partner. Anyone finding this odd, including the friend, has never been in a true seriously relationship.

[@sortaamy3003]

Please don't. If your bf suddenly can't cut food after a lifetime of doing it, get him to a dr. Being unable to cut pancakes after years of doing it yourself, it's concerning.

[@jesusacosta5795]

@@sortaamy3003you don’t know what the types of love is.

[@darlathewench]

@sortaamy3003 its very possible he has fine motor issues, (possibly autism, or even arthritis) and if he hurt his back, it can easily cause damage to the brain. Even if they got it checked out, theres really not a way to fix it.

[@jasminelalita3244]

We all have different ways of showing and receiving love if it works for you two dweeeeet 🙏🏿 🥰 💜

[@Strugglingnpc]

To the all people saying, she doesn’t care, she doesn’t care YET! These are the women that then become resentful wives because she has babied her husband and now instead of having a partner who helps with the kids (not just financially) she has another child on top of the children she birth.

[@Nottiy]

Right! I hope they do not want children. People aren't looking ahead to how behaviour like this, even if both are currently fine with it, can cause issues. The man also sounds like he has a physical issue but the person in the story sounds too obsessed with being cute and romantic. This isn't sustainable

[@aceexceed4105]

He doesnt want her to be his mom, hes just a little special, and we love that for him.

[@nicocapro]

She just wants to help in whatever way she can. She's so sweet for that, she wishes to make things easier for him when she sees him struggling. One of her love languages must be acts of service, it's not him forcing her to do it. My boyfriend is a little like that as well, carrying me around whenever he gets the chance to without me asking him to (I in fact tell him to place me down sometimes since I like walking). It's not weird, it's just a different way of showing love.

[@dhasi00797]

I mean. It’s kinda weird he struggles himself. BUT if she doesn’t mind and he’s respectful and appreciative of it. Then it’s all good. They both seem happy.

[@northernalpine4350]

He did have an accident Spinal or concussive injuries to the head can have severe consequences to motor functions, hell, a stroke can have you paralyzed for life Its not a stretch that his finer motor functions have been impaired in due cause

[@piratekit3941]

I assume there was a injury which caused just enough damage to make normal tasks frustrating. My grandpa had a series of small strokes and could no longer cut his food easily either, couldn't tie shoes or do buttons, and this was what grandma would do. There are also tools that help give mobility back, button pullers so you can button one handed, Velcro shoes obvs, etc, but if you don't know these inventions exist you aren't likely to hunt them down and get them.

[@voidwyrm57]

The guy might just be dyspraxic, it's largely undiagnosed so most people just think they are clumsy. But difficulty to use cutlery and tie shoelaces are pretty common exemple on how dispraxia affect people.

[@Dorar47]

It's the love language of acts of service. As long as he appreciates those gestures, I find it really sweet and hope he shows his partner lots of love too 💙

[@kat.d.clysmic]

Some love can be shown in acts of service or kindness. If he had reacted that it was expected then I would be upset, but... AWWW!! This was cute! And the way he asked her for the next day 🥹🥹❤

[@tobylol123]

It doesn't matter what other people 'find weird', it's about what makes you and your partner happy.

[@mastere6115]

Exactly, I was expecting it to be something properly weird and wrong, but this is just things some couples do... And it's not just limited to women doing it for men, I've seen men doing it for women as well... I find it more odd that someone who just comes over for a day or so can just come up to a couple and say the way they are around each other is weird without much greater context... I'd understand if for instance you asked, oh do you always tie his shoelaces or something, just genuinely curious since you can then discern whether or not it's weird. But to say it's weird without knowing why is just odd...

[@z_erika]

I have dyspraxia and I used to struggle with such basic tasks as well. I still take slightly more time than most people, but thanks to my parents letting me practice everyday I started to manage them. Especially tying ties and shoelaces, sometimes I still need to open wikihow but I get them done. In situations like these, babying the person who struggles is actually hurting them in the long run. Everyone needs to be able to perform basic survival skills for both their own good and also not to be dependent on their families.

[@raining.blood.animations]

I think it’s so sweet and adorable. They appreciate each other and even if she didn’t do one of their routine items, he tried himself even if he failed

[@dezh.3892]

That's so darn sweet of her. I've been coming to terms with and figuring out my disability for years and if I had someone in my life that noticed little things like this that I struggled with and stepped in to help with them, I'd be a very happy sobbing mess on the floor. It makes me so happy to hear that there are people like this in the world, willing to step in and help without a second thought. The friend just may not understand it. My dad is still struggling to understand that I'm disabled and just going to be like this for the rest of my life, but he's trying. I hope this friend is willing to understand that different doesn't mean wrong

[@aerwenleerose5938]

Damnnn that is the sweetest thing that I’ve ever heard on the Internet, yes on an outsider looking in I can see how that’s a little “odd”. But it really shows how much you care about him and then the way he asked you to cut his pancakes, that’s sweet and gentle. Dude, your friend is jealous she doesn’t get that level of care. To have someone that will do those extra little things for you. I say that’s the most important thing you could ever have in this world.

[@Everyb0dys_f00l]

Im not trying to be rude when i say this but, Its not "sweet" to not be able to care for yourself, its odd. You can't just claim someone is "jealous" because they aren't babied like that, I didn't like it when my grandma tried to cut my food as a young kid so the fact that he's a grown man struggling to cut his food is very sad and I hope he can grow up, genuinely.

[@DaBlacksEst1998]

Is he okay?!

[@antmess9789]

He is disabled, but otherwise perfectly fine.

[@alixj.5916]

Right 😭 and people find it… cute?! 😭😭

[@antmess9789]

@alixj.5916 You look down on disabled people and treat them as not human? 🤢

[@AuntieEm9]

@@alixj.5916it’s cute that she’s helping him, not that he’s disabled lol😂

[@goodmorning2386]

I’m happy for them It sounds like they both love each other, and those weird little routines make them happy As long as they’re both happy and love each other, fuck what’s normal! Sounds like they have a good relationship and that’s hard to find

[@nskarpy6842]

for many people, taking care of somebody is a love language. me and my boyfriend of 2.5 years joke that we are each other's toddler sometimes 😂❤ its all out of love and we never take care of each other in ways that we dont want to.

[@ivymerritt7577]

At first, I was with the friend, then I got to his reaction to her not cutting up his steak. He wasn't mad, didn't yell at her, or complain while he struggled to cut his steak. He might just have sensory and motor issues. He's found someone who likes helping him and doesn't mock or belittle him. It's sweet! ♥️♥️♥️♥️ P. S. Plus, I remembered that my cousin's wife picks his clothes, too. He's colorblind and would end up wearing strange color combos if she didn't!

[@JustanotherYoutuber771]

Him having some issues or a disability is a possibility but can we stop praising men for literally just not being physically or verbally abusive?? It is the bare bare BARE minimum not to yell at someone for not cutting your food or tying your shoelaces

[@MichelleLynn-hr4gs]

The guy sounds adorable, this from what was just said seems like a very loving relationship, I'm glad they found each other

[@andreap2246]

He didn't complain and she never mentioned of being annoyed with it. It may be weird but it doesn't bother anybody, so good for them. I believe she would bring it up if it ever become a problem

[@Vipre-]

It's concerning that he seems to have real physical difficulties in the fine motor skills area. No healthy person should "struggle" to cut a steak.

[@andreap2246]

@@Vipre- Healthy or not: it may be weird but if it doesn't bother her/anybody then it's ok

[@sigmamale.39]

thats so sweet omg things being different doesnt meant theyre bad

[@Callimo]

It's only sweet if he'd do the same for OOP :)

[@MilesMorales-vr6jp]

​@@Callimoisn't that obvious? Lol

[@syeneingram1218]

Lol! I remembered being so astonished that my husband didn't know how to tie shoes, my MIL tied his fancy shoes on our wedding day😂 idc tho, he's an excellent provider and a sweetie pie husband, I'd tie his shoes 10,000 times if I need to! It just means I'll be teaching our bby girl that specific skill, he got her on driving tho 🤷🏾‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

[@chainlinkfence4963]

that's not a flex

[@grahamstation7640]

​@@chainlinkfence4963 lol how about you take your lonely ass somewhere else Your under everyone's comments being a bitch for no reason

[@grahamstation7640]

Lol that's a lovely wedding detail 😂❤

[@Forb1den_w3irdo]

​@@chainlinkfence4963did she say it was? And who tf do you think you are commenting about some1s else personal life if nothing toxic is happening in it?

[@Iamnotinsane264]

Awww that seems really sweet ❤❤❤❤

[@MAXTORRACER]

Thats the realest shit ever. It doesnt matter what others think about your relationship. You should worry about just you and your significant other.

[@Fishfrenchfry]

Lots of people do things like this for their disabled partners as well. Everyone has their normal and they seem happy ❤

[@DevonRex116]

But he isn't disabled, is he.

[@Pherim_]

​@@DevonRex116It was not said, was it dipshix? As far as you know, he can be

[@darkpredator5391]

Awwww….thats the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard.

[@littlewifelora2182]

That’s actually adorable ❤

[@sweetcrimson]

Sounds like some undiagnosed issue and they just compensating for it, instead of acknowledging and trying to strengthen his motor skills.

[@GINGANOHASHA_max]

Well. It depends on what the extent of his condition is. Not to mention after some time people will no longer think of going that way and do it in their own arrangement. So far OP and the man don't seem to have any issues.

[@anastasiyaplisetskaya4845]

​@@GINGANOHASHA_max I mean it does look like a care for a toddler. And I wouldn't be very concerned, but he actually bad at those things. Like how are you an adult and struggle to tie your shoelaces and cut your own food?

[@antmess9789]

​@anastasiyaplisetskaya4845 Its obvious you dont live with 24/7 back pain, ahole. Its very hard to tie your own damn shoes. Impossible, even. And here you are, shitting all over disabled people. Disgusting.

[@Depressed_korean]

@@anastasiyaplisetskaya4845my shoe laces are also often uneven…

[@Shepherd2833]

​@anastasiyaplisetskaya4845 oh i dont know how can ANYONE ever have any NEUROLOGICAL issues. Yea thats something only 90 year olds have right? Touch grass moron

[@geraldineprobst2162]

I think it’s just adorable

[@angeliquec1928]

Sounds like he has dyspraxia. You're showing him love by supporting him in the areas where he struggles. Ignoring or shaming is the opposite of love. Note: my son has dyspraxia and did 3 years of OT. The dinner he cut his own food (age 11) was a really big achievement for him, and we celebrated his hard work and progress. Over time he was able to tie his own shoes (age 12). We never shamed him, we just looked for assistance for him when we recognised we didn't know how to help him effectively. That is support. That is love.

[@xxriaee]

Some people just try and point out at stuff in your life just to make you unsatisfied with it, even though it's normal they just want you to feel bad.

[@Alexander_Luv1]

That is very not normal. You might want to look into your relationship if u think it is.

[@MilesMorales-vr6jp]

Adding to the comment above, he has either a physical or psychological issue that needs to be checked out. What she's doing is nice but isn't helpful in the long run, especially if it's something serious.

[@Lucky_Komaeda777]

@@Alexander_Luv1she's helping him willingly. It's not like he's demanding her to do it. When she wasn't helping him, he didn't get mad or complain. He just tried helping himself instead. There's nothing wrong with doing things for your partner.

[@xxriaee]

Plus she said that it's her way of showing love (aka her love language), and again he's not depending on her, nor demanding,nor getting angry when she doesn't help him.

[@Avery-w8f]

Even if it seems a little weird, it’s not hurting anybody and it’s what you like to do, so I think you should continue to do it if it makes both of you happy

[@stimfi3nda]

I mean... sure it's DIFFERENT, but I wouldnt really go ahead and call it weird

[@Blue-100]

Yeah I think her friend was overreacting a bit

[@snowfall1616]

It's weird because he is an adult but can't cut his own food or tie his shoelaces....how was he doing those tasks when they were not together . Anyone who sees this from a third person perspective would find this situation weird.

[@joelOmojogberun]

@@snowfall1616parents or siblings

[@joelOmojogberun]

@@snowfall1616and it doesn’t matter cause you don’t know if he has any problems or never had parents before so you can’t judge him without even knowing the full story

[@snowfall1616]

@@joelOmojogberun maybe you are the one who needs to see the story again op clearly said that she started cutting his food because he choked on them once and started to tied his shoe laces every time because his slipped once ..... that is not normal behaviour, op needs to stop treating him like a toddler.

[@paraoczek5742]

OK, but tying someone's shoelaces is peak intimacy, actually

[@agentmaryland1239]

It's always imperative to make sure of why you are doing the things you do to understand before judging. If he needs this help because he has an underlying/undiagnosed medical condition, then it's a labor of love. If he needs this help because he was coddled all his life and just continuously expects the treatment his mother babied him with, then it's just labor. Context is key and it sounds like this poor guy is the former, not the latter. He also sounds very sweet.

[@thatdiamondofhope]

He tried when she didn't do it. Didn't complain and asked for her help again for the day after. It's rather sweet

[@altalt479]

No it's not 😂 he can't cut his own fkn food that's ridiculous 🤢

[@raynier3327]

Always a friend that wants what's worse for your relationship.

[@samiam2088]

I don’t think that’s fair, some women truly get taken advantage of being put in the place of their spouses “mother.” The friend simply pointed it out. It’s better that OP is aware and actively choosing this dynamic.

[@raynier3327]

@samiam2088 Happiness is subjective. She is either happy or not. You do not need an outside opinion telling you that you should be miserable.

[@16vamps]

​@samiam2088 exactly the friend seemed more concerned than "miserable"

[@Bronyaslvr]

Her friend was concerned and only wanted the best for the OP, she didn’t shame him or her in any way she just sat her down and told her it wasn’t normal for her to do that

[@isabellamorris7902]

Nah, a friend SHOULD be the one in cases like these to go "hey, I don't think that's normal". If this story is true, it was a good thing that OP became aware of how much they were actually doing for their bf. Seeing that he still tried without her help was a really good sign. I want to still have close enough bonds with my friends for them to be able to tease me lightly or have serious conversations, if they are concerned about something in my relationship, and know that they mean well and want the best for me. Treating friends and romantic partners as natural enemies is a red flag tbh

[@ekmcqueen]

as long as youre both happy i dont see an issue. thats so cute and i can see you really care for him

[@yurshen.spooky]

i think its good that they help each other --- she should probs teach him how to do the different things that hes struggling with tho even if she keeps being the one to do them

[@xiaoitsokay]

Its harmless and all, kind of cute but its not normal. You should teach him those things because he is already grown up

[@alanasmith6065]

No, she should not teach him to function as an adult. She is not his mom. But he enjoys having one.

[@xiaoitsokay]

@alanasmith6065 Then who would teach him? His mom? When she didn't even teach him when he was a child? Other person? Himself? Wouldn't it be better to atleast guide him? She is the available one and it would hurt her to teach him it will benefit him and herself in the future.

[@zephyromenix8755]

She cuts up his food so he doesn’t choke on it when he needs to eat fast. He never demanded for her to do it, nor did he get upset when she didn’t do it. He made a simple request for the next day. They’re fine

[@xiaoitsokay]

​@@zephyromenix8755 I know they are fine but like I said, it would never hurt if he learned how to do it himself Edit: or she could TEACH him

[@vanessarsegovia]

Didn't it occur to you that maybe it has something to do with motor skills or anything like that. Rather than just saying "Let him do it because he's a grown up"

[@evanreid6917]

You guys have a love language that's unique, screw what others think ❤

[@sarauwu2436]

Um am I crazy or all I am seeing are people saying it's ok for a grown up to be treating like a son and not a spouse? A y'all saying he's cute just because he was civil about it? Go see a psychiatrist please

[@beyond-liberalism]

Fr…the way she describes it you’d think he was her son. Freud stuff right there.

[@Drake-xl1cu]

There’s a difference between babying someone because they’re acting incompetent, and doing things for your partner because it may be difficult for them. The fact that he didn’t whine and complain that she didn’t cut his steak means he probably CAN do all those things, but it’s a bit difficult, and a loving partner would be willing to help with those things. AS LONG AS he is also doing things of the like back to show his love and appreciation

[@BlakeleyBilling-oy9pm]

It’s really sweet actually. He found someone who was willing to help and love him with things he struggled with and she seem very happy to be able to do this for him. The fact that she was willing to do this every day simply because he messed up once is crazy dedication. Find ppl you feel happy helping and don’t be ashamed because it’s not “normal” to care for ur loved ones

[@cookiemonsterz413]

Acts of service are acts of love, between a parent and child or partners, if she was being made to act like his mom it'd be one thing, if he didn't show his appreciation and love for her in other ways, it'd be another. But if they are both still happy and in love, then it's fine.

[@Miata-gp5bp]

Maybe you should teach him too. And not infantilise him. You can still help him occasionally but teaching these skills are important, which their parents shouldve taught them. Granted most of my life skills i learnt from other adults not my parents but still.

[@MilesMorales-vr6jp]

While it's not impossible, I doubt he doesn't know rather than he has a psychological or physical issue.

[@pastelbee8125]

Sometimes it IS peoples way of showing love, I’ll do all that and more for him, I’ve always been a service love type ❤

[@That_Purple_Squid]

So he can't do the basic stuff but can do a fast pase job?

[@definitely.natasha]

This woman needs to google the term "weaponized incompetence"

[@Aiibh]

And you need to google the term "empathetic understanding". He CLEARLY is appreciative of what she does for him. Also did you not catch the part about him actually having back issues? He still goes out and works a job for them. Did he demand appreciation for that?

[@angieqwq5126]

seems like just a genuine way of showing love towards someone. he didnt complain when he couldnt cut the meat properly and asked if she would cut his breakfast for him. seems like a loving relationship ❤

[@TimesNewCanaanite]

Her "friend" sounds bitter and resentful of the love they have for each other. Acting like his "mom" as she puts it, is basically just how people who love each other behave.

[@angrynoodletwentyfive6463]

I think its definitely concerning that a grown man cant cut his own steak. Not in the sense that its unhealthy for the relationship... but in the sense that he is a grown man struggling to cut steak and tie his shoelaces. that is indicative of a serious health problem that is effecting his motor skills. Either that or he just likes his wife doing it for him because he has some dort of infantilization kink going on. Which to him his own on that.

[@glmom15]

Whatever goes for you girly I love it honestly it's really humble and nice for you to do that❤❤❤❤

[@MRichi-1994]

Thats majorly asian wife vibes and till you and him are happy, it doesn't matter who thinks what.

[@Meggagrobbertron]

150 years later and Sigmund Freud had yet to be proven wrong.

[@ilikecheeseandbeef7203]

As long as hes sweet and there is love and appreciation in the relationship, i see NO PROBLEM 😊

[@yabazyabacoffee]

Id want the girlfriend to at least be assured that he can do it properly himself incase she had to leave for a while byt if its a routine then it doesnt have to change

[@natalyst]

Given that he was trying to cut his steak himself, I think he could handle it. Maybe get velcro shoes for when she's gone 😂

[@Mike-sl5lu]

My aunt did this for her husband. She’s enabling uselessness and the reach will never end. You will be making his phone calls, driving him to his doctors appointments and constantly returning things that you’ve already purchased for him. Good luck. 👍🏼

[@Cio_d-borba]

If you listen to what she helps him with it sounds like motor problems, not lazyness. I had the same when I was younger; finally we figured out my incompetence came from this and was able to get rid of it through therapy.

[@onionwarrior7447]

Hey Mike looks like you conveninetly missed the part where she stopped doing these things for him and he never once complained and did them all himself. She went back to doing them because she WANTED to, not because he’s manipulating her into it. Hope this helps!😊

[@yoghurtania1025]

​@@onionwarrior7447Oh you poor summer child, you really think there is only a singular way for people to be manipulators?

[@WilliamHeil-ow1of]

Aslong as you too are treating each with respect and honest. You both love each other and appreciate these acts of service to each. Who cares what others think, people have different way of expressing and experiening love ❤️. He sounds like he does appreciate the little things that she does and doesn't inherently expect. Don't know the whole story though.

[@christine-kht]

He has no right to get mad - and that doesn't change the fact that he is acting like a toddler. Jesus Christ grow up. She is enabling him to be incompetent- I am not a fan of that, seriously. Even if she is okay with it, he will stay the toddler he is.