What to do to stop WORKPLACE BULLIES FROM TARGETING YOU

[@TheWizardOfWords]

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[@alikaperdue]

Your advice is perfect. My 2 cents: The way I stop bullies is to tell them exactly what I don't like about what they said to me in front of other people (peers).

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Straightforward--spotlighting--good for you!

[@joannahzamora]

When someone interrupts me I say "Hold on I'm not done". It works everytime.

[@SarahRejsa-oi6bq]

I am so blessed and fortunate to work with an amazing team of co-workers, and supervisor, and principal, at the elementary school where I work at as a para professional educator . I am thriving there. I am thriving so much there and I love the job so much that I am investigating enrolling in an online Master's Degree program in Elementary Education. Have a great day Dan and PLEASE keep these videos coming !!!! (Lunch break is over 😁.) ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@SarahRejsa-oi6bq]

Say "I'm speaking!" - when they inturupt you .👍

[@ErikLiberty]

If it is a group conversation and they interrupt, I find the best thing to do is first say their name three times quickly. They naturally stop talking and focus on me, at which point I tell them that we'll get to what they have to say in a second.

[@SarahRejsa-oi6bq]

@@ErikLiberty I also wonder if saying "Excuse me, I'm still speaking." is a little less abrasive . If I were to use "I'm speaking" I think I would have to use "excuse me" to preface it. "Excuse me. I'm speaking. " That would make me comfortable to say it that way. Thanks for the tip about saying the person's name 3 times. I do that regularly with kids, but I have never tried that on an adult while being interrupted. I'll try that the next time the opportunity presents itself. Thanks for that. ☺

[@josenazario8942]

Wow you are amazing ! I'm dealing with a office bully and it's keeping me up at night . Have been thinking of quitting. I will try these new methods I have learned today . Wish me luck !

[@TheWizardOfWords]

let me know how it goes for you, Jose.

[@setidepp4853]

Don't quit José! You will find more bullies in other places too. Just apply Dan's principles and listen to as much of his videos as you can and I am sure you will have the tools to "survive" and thrive!

[@elissacollins1898]

Excellent! Already have your book.Will revise it.When I forget your advice ,I have more problematic people in my life again.

[@JessicaSkyy]

This was So Good, Thank you for this!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You're so welcome!

[@SarahRejsa-oi6bq]

That is great advice about turning your body towards someone and facing them head on and looking them right in the eyes. I also like the clarifying question. I will practice these things in my weekend job at the nursing home. (LOL the opportunity is there for that).

[@user-ov4wr5yu4r]

O boy. Go get em. But stay safe.

[@SarahRejsa-oi6bq]

@@user-ov4wr5yu4r LOL!!!😆

[@tamie7974]

Thank you Dan!

[@catherinebullock9748]

Just a minute I am speaking when I’m finished you may speak. Always works

[@MsActor2009]

Now equals with someone who “tried” to bully me this year! 😉 I’ve been around the block and I’m not as young as I look. 👱🏻‍♀️ Interesting how thieves tend to target certain people with a weak body language. Merry Christmas, Dan xxxx

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Merry Christmas, MsActor :)

[@YourGPSForSuccess]

Always 👏 on 👏 point 👏

[@kiyaranight]

thank you for this :)

[@courtneys1442]

This whole video is so true. Unfortunately I have this dude in my life that I don’t think these will work on. Hes my sisters husband. I got into an argument with her and honestly she was in the wrong. He started getting involved so I calmly explained to him, what she’s doing wrong. He replied no that’s not what happened and instead this happened. (To clear evidence of her causing issues) he said sharply “no that IS what happened despite me explaining everything. He thinks she could never do anything wrong and no matter what I said he wouldn’t budge. It’s just wack that he wasn’t there, I explained my side of the story and he insisted that “he knows her because he’s been with her for years.”

[@ashleyiz2008]

thank you for all your tips and for recognizing the problem of workplace bullies.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are welcome Ashley!

[@irishcountrygirl78]

Great advice 👍.

[@thomase13]

Great little video! I HAVE to know: that amazing “would you repeat that again, please?” clip - what film is that from??!?

[@warriormanmaxx8991]

@thomase13 - re: "what film is that from" ??!? 1. From the Dan O'Connor original video series !! 2. Now ... what sort of social media BULLY were you trained from?!?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Warrior, you ARE having a good time tonight, aren't you? Good for you.🕵

[@WitmanClan]

Thank you Dan! 🙏 🌈 ☀️

[@aparnaisdabestttt]

Dan, one time I confided in this person a secret I haven’t told anyone and then when we were at dinner with other people it slipped out of their mouth. I think they didn’t mean to say it it just happened. Regardless I told them how upset I was and to not do that again. I couldn’t believe the audacity when they said “that’s not a secret it’s nothing to be ashamed of” like how are you gonna tell me what my boundaries are?? I still can’t believe I let that happen I just didn’t know what to do. He even said I “hold onto things for too long” because that happened a long time ago.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You told him it was a confidence and not to be repeated. I think because he was embarrassed about his own ability to hold his water, he tried to turn the tables on you. Whether it is "nothing to be ashamed of" or not, YOU ASKED HIM TO SHUT UP ABOUT IT AND HE DIDN'T. That is entirely on him and his lame excuse for revealing a confidence of yours is just that--lame. Please quote me. BTW, confidences are not necessarily something you keep because of shame. Frequently they are simply private matters you don't want discussed. And you might tell that individual that you will let go of the incident when he apologizes for revealing a confidence.

[@aparnaisdabestttt]

@@TheWizardOfWords thank you for that . He’s a real jerk

[@lovewhitey4462]

Brilliant advice Dan and may I add Many people use your stories & secrets as Social currency’s Don’t be so eager to forgive.. People Show you Who they are.. You don’t need this lesson 💯 x

[@ElleSeven-l3q]

Yes, Travolta Walk!🎉

[@WaterFor3st]

I need help on not feeling left out when there are "group meetings" I started avoiding their gatherings because it's most likely not work related talk and I would be called over (you'd think) if I need to know. But how do I try to get them to keep me updated or get the one in charge to actually discuss plans with me and not have someone else do his job? If someone cant be professional to someone that isnt their work friend I see it as incompetent. Yesterday I told him "I dont know if I was involved in this conversation since you were talking to him and not me" but he just started acting the way he does as if I'm stupid or not involved and he kept saying "she" and that I'm "helping" rather than saying "we" or "you two" so that is basically making me feel like he doesn't think I matter or that I'm really not apart of anything. It's so frustrating that I believe I've so professional that the wording in things (like what your videos consists of) matters so much as to how I gather information of what's going on. People will just look at me like I'm stupid or don't understand yet they speak to each other very clearly.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You go to the one in charge and say "If you keep me updated, I will do my job better, but if you've decided to remove me from the loop, just tell me. I will do my job as best I can without your involvement."

[@Jaaaaaffff]

❤ U Dan! You’re #1 Happy holidays!! 🎉

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Happy holidays Jaaaaaaaaaaaafffffff

[@behroozshahdaftar4209]

Thank you very much.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are welcome!

[@Iamthebest1111]

Your videos awesome you need to write a book and sell it😮 I love the way you explain every video❤thank you

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I have two books on Amazon and have written two more over the last couple of years. I hope to pubixh them in 2024.

[@Iamthebest1111]

@@TheWizardOfWords can you please give me titleso I can purchase. Do you sell pdf version also?

[@teresadiazgoncalves3288]

Depends, in academic settings it can make you a target of collective mobbing

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Why would academic settings be unique? I taught on the high school and the college level and didn't find a unique pattern of bullying. Can you explain?

[@katrinabrown3561]

Welp I literally did the opposite of all you said before I found your videos-no wonder I get bullied 😞

[@Matt-oy7pz]

I think Travolta walk could get you targeted

[@Skyfoxx23]

I have to disagree. While I use and continue to use your strategies I have not been directly bullied but envied and definitely on the receiving end of passive aggressive behavior straight up!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I hope you ignore the behavior--and to the extent you can do that, they are out of your lives until they physically go away from you.

[@Skyfoxx23]

@@TheWizardOfWords one can ignore people’s behavior but envious and jealous people can inadvertently hurt the people that they are jealous of and I have been on the receiving end of that as well

[@kosar3820]

nobody is talking in my school ,how can i make some friends ,i need your advice

[@warriormanmaxx8991]

@kosar3820 - 1. since no one is talking at your school ... 2. perhaps you are the one to BREAK the ice !! 3. does Dan have to solve everyone's problem?? 4. have you read/understood the classic book, "How To Win Friends And Influence People" by Dale Carnegie? 5. No? 6. Get Going!!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Kosar, I have some videos on this topic--check out my YT channel for starting conversations and keeping them going.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Go to my KZbin channel and search around. In the meantime, start talking to kids who seem to enjoy the same classes you do. Ask them all sorts of questions--just one or two people--and walk with them to the next class as you ask questions or perhaps comment on somethiing that happened in class. DON'T BE SHY AND DON'T WAIT FOR PEOPLE TO COME TO YOU. You go to them :). Keep doing it until you "click" with one or two kids.

[@thekarmendanielle]

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