What to Do When Someone Doesn’t Accept Your Apology

[@alihughes3728]

I think I just lost a friend through my own stupidity and :( it's sadder than I imagined it being

[@alihughes3728]

Btw to anybody who sees this: She did forgive me after not so long (about a week and a half) and we're good friends again :) I just gave her some space whilst trying to show that I was working my hardest to not do what I did again. And yeah, I'm so glad we're friends again! It was unexpectedly hard dealing with us being on bad terms.

[@dylanhinks9497]

@@alihughes3728 ayo bro I’m going through the same thing right now. I was a dick due to me stupidity and my self consciousness. It’s been like 4 days and I’ve apologised many times, I’ve talked to her friends too and they talked to her and she didn’t want to speak to me. I’m gonna give her space now what else can I do to show I’ve changed

[@pragyayadav5754]

@@dylanhinks9497 I did it too, m gonna go and meet her tomorrow and apologise in person it wasn’t all my fault honestly but I will apologise for my part and try to make it normal , I think if they are a true one they will forgive you sometime in your life

[@Yellowkitty]

i’m so stupid and sensitive i ruin everything i hate it and myself i lost my bestie of ages and i feel broke she hates me i hate me

[@alihughes3728]

@@Yellowkitty I'm really sorry you're going through that. Try not to be too harsh on yourself: even if you've done bad things, you clearly feel guilty and want to change and I think that means you're still a good person. Losing a friend is so tough, especially if it's our own fault, but with time, it'll gradually heal. Also, you've been best friends for a while, right? Then it's likely that after some time has passed, they'll be able to forgive you and you'll be close again. Good luck with everything x

[@anja7787]

It's been 4 years since my apology and they don't want to talk to me and probably don't even give me a second thought. It hurts my heart everyday, but I have no choice but to live with it and move on like they did.

[@aegisreflector1239]

It happens we have to learn and move on as well

[@melissakeller2644]

Prayers ❤

[@zar_17c]

good for them, what your feeling are the consequences of your actions

[@Danceswithfishes]

​@@zar_17c wow let's hope you are perfect

[@cherylredden9067]

When their non acceptance of your apology or even the realization of your inappropriate actions sends you deeper into the depression you have been struggling with and you fall deeper down the hole. Regret is a punishing thing.

[@b3nn536]

I’ve apologized to my friend over text 6 years ago, they still haven’t responded. Turns out they died a couple weeks ago due to coronavirus. 😞

[@darla620]

Simply Oreo I’m so sorry to hear that. My condolences are with you and your friend.

[@carriered4715]

I'm Sorry for your Loss. Please just Know that You Did say you were Sorry for what you did, and they knew that, it's ok, Stay Safe.♥️

[@wallythepepperoni3632]

I’m very sorry to hear that, well at least u tried... 😔

[@rachidazaki3828]

I am sooo sorry

[@Cghale-pv3pv]

Condolences 🙏

[@nittibit6662]

"leave me alone" is the worst reply

[@babydrip9429]

yea.. especially when your being genuine to fix the problem

[@envyling2461]

The most hardest thing to do when someone doesn't accept your apology is the giving the time & space part. For the time & space part, sometimes you don't know how long it takes for a friend/love one to recover & eventually forgive you/accept your apology. In one of my cases, one of my friends took about 10 years to finally came back to reconnect with me & accept my apology. It took 10 years & considered a painful lesson for me! When my friend decides to reconnect with me after 10 years, it was a huge blessing that I cried from my friend's return. That's why that singer Elton John has the famous song: Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word & that song suits well with the case of what happens when someone doesn't accept your apology.

[@judyanne3563]

I'm 66 years old....almost 67....I may not have 10 years to wait

[@judyanne3563]

I went no contact after I messaged him & said He didnt have to worry about seeing me at an event cause I wasnt going. I said have a great life...bye

[@michaelschinasi6318]

This text is giving me anxiety that ima have to wait 10 years😰😰😰😰😰😰😰

[@faizanmalik1502]

10 years ! oh my god

[@callistocryptic]

I only have like 5 months before i get floored

[@ZainAli-ts6sw]

Just know that If the person doesn’t forgive you, you said sorry. At least you apologised..

[@michaelschinasi6318]

Zain Ali AGREE!!

[@flannelflax8078]

It’s good to get it off of your chest

[@zengreen7]

Just know that WORDS are POWERFUL. Sticks and stones may break my bones but WORDS will never harm me is one of the greatest LIES ever told.

[@shanika8]

It only puts the sadness on me

[@randomstranger1857]

True!

[@VisionsDark]

When someone apologizes and you don't accept it then you are willingly holding them emotionally captive. Depending on the person it can really make them suffer and wrack themselves with guilt. What you do when you hold this power over a person can illustrate your own shortcomings. If they try to make amends and you still don't accept it then a glimmer of cruelty is revealed because you are not ready to forgive and would rather they suffer, more suffering does not wash away suffering, it only creates more.

[@wildcardtarot4895]

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[@wildcardtarot4895]

[phone].

[@aegisreflector1239]

@carl. Agreed

[@KateGladstone]

What about when the person who apologizes says: I am apologizing, but we both know that I’ll keep on doing what I do, so I need to be forgiven in and feel forgiven about it, because I don’t change what I do”?

[@LipstickSuccubus]

THIS this is why i just move on and don't bother anymore if i say sorry and they want to be arrogant about it I'm not apologizing a second time I did my part

[@mrxyz2k]

Sometimes someone made huge mistakes that they won’t accept ur apologies, no matter how hard ur try, maybe it’s time to end it and replace it. Just remember not to make same mistake on ur next relationship.

[@Emily-gx9wj]

What if your friend does not want to be your friend anymore and calls you a fake friend.

[@janethockey9070]

Emily Let them go. Some people aren't worth your time or stress. You haven't done anything wrong

[@JamicaEm]

OMG This just happend to me Today

[@mahdi3521]

what if you are

[@robertfrate6665]

Emily hi Emily, been there done that, they were never your friends to begin with, true friends don’t leave you, move on and love yourself surround yourself with friends that make you feel loved and appreciated, your worth it, regards, Bob,

[@klayley4ever665]

This happened to me, two of my best friend called me a fake friend and they stopped being my friend even though they talked bad about me behind my back and already stopped being my friend at least 10 times already, and all my other friends said they are not worth it and they are right and I know I should just let them go but I feel so sad without them

[@KerryMcKenzie-hy3lm]

I’ve messed up a lot with someone very close to me and apologizing was a headache since 😢I had to do it countless times I just pray this helps and she forgives me

[@Beanbagtop]

thank you .. I was worried if it'll make it worse if I give them more time

[@Noah_f2f]

Same

[@kaylendominique1267]

The same thing happened to me and now my friend won't forgive me and I agree with you

[@mikethomas4570]

Forgiveness sometimes needs restitution, and not just “I’m sorry”

[@fadeskywards1245]

Well said, though I'd add that restitution is always needed. If there's no restitution, there's no sincerety in the apology.

[@ebonyeyed08ti]

​@@fadeskywards1245I agree, but there can't be resolution if the other isn't willing to accept it , and forgive it

[@nreynolds75243]

Giving an apology doesn't mean reconciliation. For me, keep the apology. What matters to me is that you don't do it again, whatever it is. Actions speak louder than words. What I don't like is someone coming to me years later and apologizing. I don't care. I've forgotten about it and now you're rehashing it. I'm not against apologies but apologies don't fix the past, It can't undo.

[@kns5700]

If your apology is from the heart and you were sincere and they still don't forgive or accept your apology it's not up to you anymore. You did the right thing. They will have to live with that unforgiveness on their heart.

[@legendarytonyclutch]

forgiveness is overrated they're sorry by feeling guilty but not what they actually did

[@space676sof]

@@legendarytonyclutch but I feel guilty and also I hate myself for doing that I misunderstood... 😭😭😭

[@jonascarrillo8699]

What a d1ck way of thinking.

[@chris_970]

​@@legendarytonyclutch Saying sorry does not aways come from place of guilt for everyone. It's putting your pride aside to acknowledge that you made someone upset. It's creating a healthy and safe space for two people. Apologies don't always have to be one sided either. Many times, disagreements or misunderstandings between two people have two sides to the story. I believe both parties should put pride aside and apologize.

[@hildehausikujohannes7664]

You can say sorryeven when what you did is right according to your standards, but because it affects others badly, you can say sorry for the sadness caused in the process but you are not guilty for it because it was right in your perspective.

[@leinesim]

Everyone will accept apology if it is honest. Unfortunately, way too many times we say sorry just to get back in track and we fool ourselves that other person did not notice. But, if we are honest about apology and if we try to make redemption, everybody will accept

[@LightningFox7]

Not always. I was honest in mine. It wasn't accepted. Although I was told things were fine between us. And everything was okay. Days later I noticed things weren't okay and they were very cold and kinda rude. So I was confused. Granted I should have given time. And I didn't ask again because I didn't want to bring it up. I was stupid. Also it may have to do. That the others I don't thing they knew what I was apologising for. I guess it was more like a confession and with that an apology. I thought if I was honest in the things I messed up it could make the relationships stronger. I didn't want to continue if that was there. Im very ashamed and disgusted in myself with how I acted. I didn't do anything horrible. And looking back I shouldn't even have brought up those things. The others didn't even know until I told them. And also I should have waited more time in apologizing. I wasn't in a very good place. I was coming to terms with situations, with how awful I was behaving. Right now I don't talk to them. Only if necessary. Point is I was honest in everything I had fuck*d up. And then was told everything was alright. I shouldn't have been so stupid to believe that. I was never told to give Time. I was an idiot in that. I also was prepared to lose that relationship but, like I wrote I never was told to give time or that things aren't okay.

[@miguelbriere4494]

If you get mad when someone doesn’t accept your apology, then you’re not actually sorry

[@digitallocations1423]

Yea, you probably want something.

[@jesskaatea9129]

@@digitallocations1423 An apology in return, maybe? If the issue was an argument, then both sides likely have something to say sorry about.

[@felicialartey8865]

Agreed sir. Some People did that to me now they are my enemies.

[@Mumble8988]

I don't think that's 100% true. I've had several occasions where I have unintentionally offended somebody and have sincerely apologized for it, and then felt pretty hurt when they didn't accept it and, in some cases completely stopped talking to me over something that I never even intended on doing in the first place, like offending them when offending them was Never the intention.

[@miguelbriere4494]

@@Mumble8988 that sounds more like a you problem.

[@smile-jf3dn]

Life goes on , i don't worry about she won't forgive me, ive been having better results and open doors i learned from mistakes and life is good 😊.

[@francopadovani1455]

I recently broke up with my girlfriend after one year with a lot of small breakups in the middle. and i realized i was wrong in accepting my fear of showing and accepting love. After 2 weeks i apologised and recnized my mistake and made changes in myself. She could not accept it and said it was all done for her, she was afraid to try again. Apologising maybe wont fix nothing, but at least you got to the point where you saw something in yourself that was wrong and took action.

[@realSimoneCherie]

Last point was very important: let it breathe. I believe in sincere, SINGULAR apologies. Going on some sort of a campaign for someone's forgiveness or acceptance usually (1) doesn't work, (2) can turn into a 'power play' on their part and (3) can erode your self-esteem.

[@DrAllisonAnswers]

Very well said! Thanks for watching and commenting!

[@michellelohde8683]

@@DrAllisonAnswers I kissed my best friend I have girlfriend she wreck and I now staying with some friend I loves her os much how win back her trust ??. we are lesbain couple .

[@LightningFox7]

​@@DrAllisonAnswersthe let it breathe. I asked is everything okay then? A asked can I still talk. Never did they say don't talk to me. Give me time. Just went cold turkey. And I thought I kinda gave space. But I guess I didn't. Its not quite clear I wasn't really well that time. Now. Now I realize I should have waited more to apologize. Even then I should not have apologized. They never ask me for it. And according to this persons they didn't know jmi had done anything. I guess it was like a confession or I dint know. And I apologized for my actions and thoughts. Actions and thoughts the others didn't even know about. So I basically shot myself. And ruined those friendships. I guess the only complaint I have is to communicate. I was never asked to give time. I was told things were okay. Hindsight I shouldn't have believed those. Or well I don't know I'm still confused as to what went wrong. They told me one thing and then started acting very cold. I guess I was stupid

[@freivtheking5369]

Its been 4 years and my dad still refusing my apology.

[@DrAllisonAnswers]

It's so hard when you've apologized, put your emotions out there, and the other person isn't ready, willing, or open to hearing or accepting it. It can feel pretty helpless and discouraging while we wait. Sending encouragement your way!

[@bjpwyratown.999]

@@DrAllisonAnswers you are dead when hope is died in your heart so do not loose your patiences and trying attitude . Change is obivious and it is matter of time. Time changes everything .

[@avelle]

it’s not your problem then. you’ve apologized and done what all that you could’ve done!!

[@felizology]

Time will answer you

[@judyanne3563]

@@avelle yup....you apologized & that's all you can do. You can not undo what you did wrong

[@bhavanikonna9079]

I sincerely apoligised to my friend but she didnt reply,i regret what i did to her...😶

[@DrAllisonAnswers]

It's tough when you've apologized, put your emotions out there, and the other person isn't ready to respond. It can feel pretty helpless while we wait, but that's part of apologizing...patience and respect for the other persons space. Sending encouragement your way while you wait. PS: You might also want to check out some of my videos on self-compassion to help you manage your regret and painful feelings. Thanks so much for watching!

[@bhavanikonna9079]

I followed what u said like she didn't wanna talk to me so I didn't talk to her too and she accepted my apology 🤗thnx

[@anmolfrost]

@@bhavanikonna9079 like how? How long you didn't talk?

[@bhavanikonna9079]

Anmol Pandey almost two months 😬

[@bhavanikonna9079]

Anmol Pandey 5 days cuz like we are still kids so we dont really have a strong grudge against eachother🙂well we are best friends now

[@ramirenriquez6795]

However, it's a bit of torture to hang people around and not say a thing

[@lindseysummers5351]

This was very helpful. I was in a situation at work recently in which I blew up at a colleague over an ongoing dispute we'd been having. I tried to apologize and he is declining my efforts. So, lessons learned: You cannot control others' actions but you CAN control how you react to same; and the door is always open if he changes his mind.

[@DrAllisonAnswers]

Lindsey, YES, you are so so right. We can't always control others, but we can control how WE respond. And by apologizing and then letting it be, you're doing the best you can. Thanks for watching and commenting!

[@mayphoenix4725]

That's my exact situation. I lost my cool on a co-worker that was more focused on flirting with others and being on facebook than doing their job. He's popular, handsome, smart and related to the boss so he got away with a lot. I admit I'm jealous of him because he gets his way most of the time and I'm the opposite of him. I'm quiet, I keep to myself, I'm not attractive and popular. I got tired of working my ass off and seeing him not doing much and I went off one day. I apologized and after a while I thought things was calming down until the troublemakers seized the opportunity to keep some drama going. So know this time I didn't do anything and he's mad at me all over again and I can't fix it. These people keep telling him I'm saying stuff that I'm not saying and I want to defend myself but I'm afraid it will cause a fight so I just keep my distance....things haven't been the same. He's quite recently but I'm still working there and left with this pain knowing that he left that place hating me and I know I did the right thing but I still can't stop hating myself. I know how silly it sounds...I know I can't please everyone but I try to keep the peace but I failed in this situation...I blame myself a lot!

[@agoo_gleuser]

May you share what happened then? I angered a close colleague at work. To make the matter worse, I left the company the next day because I couldn't face him. I fail to show any actions as we are not seeing each other anymore..... I left a note of apology on his desk and we never talk since then......:((((

[@agoo_gleuser]

@@DrAllisonAnswers what if we dont have chance to show them our actions

[@rnbsteenstar]

That's why we need words like, "Please let me know/give me a call/text me/message me/ if you ever change your mind." It's probably saved my @$$ more than I could ever know.

[@smr2855]

I messed up by rudely telling a best friend of mine how I felt when she contacted me 6 years later to ask me to babysitter her daughter. I love your advice and I’m going to call her today to apologize :)

[@darla620]

My mom and I just had a heated argument earlier today. Even though I apologized in a sincere and kindhearted manner, she still refuses to speak to me. I’m literally in tears right now. I hope she forgives me..... 😭

[@zahat79]

@darla620, I hope all good now??

[@sajinsk1368]

The same thing happened to me last year

[@sajinsk1368]

Even my dad also refuses to talk to me and I felt dejected that day

[@sajinsk1368]

But then I thought to myself like,”Don’t worry,at least you realised what you did was wrong.We all make mistakes but that doesn’t define who we are.Don’t worry if a person doesn’t forgive you,that doesn’t mean you are alone.First we have to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and then move on and continue doing our work forgetting the people who don’t forgive you.Some day they'll come back to you.

[@GILLkamal]

Same my mum was acting like she didn't want me born on New Years

[@wassimnash]

My friend decided to “take a break” from me. 2 weeks later she was like “hey I’m sorry..” I decided to forgive her. 4 days later, I messed up and 2 hours later I went to apologize. all she said was “no” I don’t talk to her anymore, I found out she was lying to me. Also, another friend of mine got the coronavirus after I argued with her. I went to apologize by texting her, and she didn’t reply. I’m disappointed. Nice video btw

[@watitduful]

You should look in the mirror and ask why you keep messing up and losing friends. Maybe fix the mess ups and you can then actually maintain friendships.

[@angelrosee73]

what it tells me about the other person is that they are sending a message that what I've done is "unforgivable" and that's a poor reflection on the other person.

[@darynadixon8759]

I have never gotten mad about someone who doesn't accept it but why can't they move on. Why do they drag it out for years or decades. My experience turned into a smear campaign where I almost got Murdered! At some point the other person has to move on. Not for the other person but for themselves. You can't go around threatening peoples lives because someone hurt you.

[@elisapriftaj5068]

thank you so much. being defensive doesn't show strength. saying your sorry and meaning it shows you are strong . the strongest person Is the one that apologised

[@alihughes3728]

But how do I show my apology with my actions if I'm giving them space so not really seeing them?

[@Walkingadversity]

Last night I made one of the worst mistakes of my life. I let my insecurities and selfishness get the best of me. I spread false rumors about a special woman in my life to her friends out of frustration because I thought I was being lied to. But it turns out it wasn’t true and when she found out that I did tell people those rumors, she contacted me about it. I apologized to heart the first time because I was genuinely upset with myself. She didn’t respond. I’m going to try to give her a week and a half of space. I am angry with myself. I really hope she can forgive me and if not, then that’s ok, but it’s going to take a long time for me process it. I’m going to try to quit drinking and start seeing my therapist again. I pray to god she can forgive me even if she doesn’t want to be back together with me.

[@aegisreflector1239]

Females don't really accept apologies. I would probably just give her one more sincere apology, and just leave it alone, the ball is in her court

[@eswarnani2042]

why can't she just accept an apology!! its been 2 days no msg, reply. I feel stupid messing up, feeling alone not talking to her. maybe I should just give her some space as u said

[@tikuhabasonda1953]

I totally relate to this right now. I miss my baby.

[@eswarnani2042]

@@tikuhabasonda1953im sorry for ur current situation, but it worked for me brother we r patched up again now. just give her some space some time . late go and start fresh and later an apology

[@isurf239]

the one person that I was truly in love with, I was so wrong to her, hurt her in so many ways mentally. If she ever forgives me it would not be for me it would be for her. I have to forgive myself, which I am working on. I can never hurt her or anyone like that again period. I have to change/evolve.

[@izzy8747]

There’s this girl who hates me, I said some things about her to my “friends” and one of them told her. I said sorry, but she’s just said “Really? 🙄” Also one of the girls who was also talking about her, messaged me and said that it was all my fault. I know I stuffed up, but it seems whatever I do I’m in the wrong. So annoying 😕

[@digitallocations1423]

Then stop gossiping about other people. You would hate it too if it happened to you.

[@jetnight88]

Let them both go

[@Elimad0502]

Yo you have no idea what your saying. What did you expect when you said rude things about her? That's like me taking drugs in front of a cop and not expecting to get caught by him. Maybe it's you.

[@Blabbermouth-w5w]

Even when they ask for it and you give it to them without hesitation? Walk away. Some people are just too toxic.

[@sugarlessalice7073]

Biggest challenge is unknown time frame for the partner to finally be ready to forgive or they moved on. Battling with Patience and time is the definitely most challenging thing I’m facing. The unknown factor in result is also worrisome. I guess action means more than words and time will tell. Hopefully I can stick with the plan. Thank you for those key advices!

[@Promageddon]

I’ve been waiting for someone this. This is my problem is patience. Thank you for this

[@watitduful]

After reading some of these comments I can see why their apology wasn’t accepted. One of the themes I notice with some of these people is that they actually believe they have room to dictate conditions. That in and of itself shows they’re selfish and jacked up people. You don’t get to dictate to the person you did dirty whether they forgive you or not. It’s not your place. For those wondering why they do that, I’ll tell you. They’re conducting themselves like that because they loath the idea of self accountability. These type of people, especially the ones who have a habit of betraying others, likely live a life where they’ve gotten by being like this. It’s easier to project things on to others as far as they’re concerned. Furthermore, they want the forgiveness because it’s a way to absolve themselves from feeling guilt & remorse. They don’t have to self reflect and exercise self awareness. Reason being is because deep down they know they’re not about sh-t anyway. That’s why they can back door people, especially those they claim to love, so easily & exercise at best superficial remorse. The proof in this is the fact that if you didn’t forgive them they get angry and try to project accountability onto you. Dark psychology stuff. Again, people like this ain’t worth a molded bread crumb in terms of character/integrity. Anyone who is truly a healthy person understands that they can’t dictate that a person accepts their apology. If someone is sorry then they’ll still be so regardless. It would be like me robbing an old lady and then later getting mad at her for not accepting my apology. Imagine… “Miss, you’re a very judge mental and hateful person because you won’t accept my apology. Sure, I stole your purse and traumatized you but still, how dare you not accept my apology.” See how that sounds 😂. It’s ridiculous. People in here preaching otherwise can miss me with that manipulative mind game stuff. No wonder some of you can’t keep a friend. You drive them all away being a 🐍. Duh.

[@rudraakram3879]

WONDERFUL!

[@mjjj6614]

i made my older sister cry on her birthday, she almost never cries. I feel so bad, she doesn’t want to accept my apology.

[@mjjj6614]

She said simply saying sorry isn’t enough, but I don’t know what else to offer her because i am: very incapable of doing the things she wants me to do.

[@alanmats9386]

Sad thing is a lot of people make small issues into big issues; it all from pride

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[@scquattro]

THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!! my mom hates me right now, and she is cussing, at me, and being disgusted with me and more. she wants to kick me out of the house and never see me again. this will help sOOOOOO much!! u are the best person!!

[@dicksonfranssen]

This is what's kept us together for 27 years. If you're truly sorry for something you did you say you're sorry ONCE and that's it. Obviously an explanation is sometimes needed, I'm showing early signs of CTE and my wife is on hormone therapy so that's a given. My sisters are screamers and door slammers who need to hear it over and over again, that's their tough luck. I've broken the cycle of abuse in our family and all I have to show for it is my wife, our loving home and our pets. That's enough for me.

[@arsh2795]

Thank you very much for your advice ...I'm not sure that it will make it or not but still this boosted my confidence

[@LeadWithCourage]

Thank you, Dr. Allison. I took the low road, recently, and became too aggressive with someone. I apologized but that person hasn’t acknowledged my apology, yet. I will give it time, as you say, and will keep the apology on the table.

[@returnoftheschaef2084]

Thank you for this video. I have done every step except the revisiting part. It has been almost a year and I may go back and revisit it soon. Thanks again.

[@jamilasalim6310]

I Made a Mistake to my BFF....and he Still doesnt Want to forgive me😥 am rly hurt....Walks away infront of my eyes....ignores me

[@roobyfathima2758]

Jamila Salim Same here We have been bffs for 5 years her name is Jane... 😭😔😓

[@flannelflax8078]

If you had already apologized, just know if they harass you and say that it was the most sincere apology (like me 😔) you have still apologized, and it’s better than no apology. When you apologize, you forgive yourself, and even if they don’t accept it, just know that you have felt better about yourself

[@BlackWolf-uk2yb]

I thinks its also helpful to acknowledge the huge benefits apologizing brings us personally, psychologically, anyway. It's similar to benefits of forgiveness but from the other side, if that makes sense. And sometimes its just not possible to put some things right but. like you said, time and space can be a great healer.

[@wildcardtarot4895]

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[@wildcardtarot4895]

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[@kimbob9477]

trying to give them space but i always end up texting them!!!!

[@li-an7700]

im at the giving her space part rn, and im so tempted to text her and don't want to break that friendship we have. She's a classmate and i sit next to her, good thing we are in zoom learning or it would have been awkward otherwise.

[@juliemosher6404]

I was passive aggressive & he blocked me everywhere. This is the 1 true love of my life. I feel decimated.

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[@dankilkenny3380]

It is always best to apologize to someone you hurt or offended rather you meant to hurt them or not. Especially if you didn't mean to hurt them, and were not trying to. The best way is to say the apology is in a very kind and sincere way. If they still don't forgive you for your mistake and they hurt you by not expecting your apology, then you did what you could. Sometimes you have to just let them sit in their own frustrations and let them be.🤷 There's only so much you can do, and if they are not willing to accept your apology, then sometimes you have to just move on. We all need to remember, none of us are perfect, we all make mistakes. The best thing we can do is try to make it up to the person you hurt,( or if they hurt you), accept each other's apologies, forgive each other, and let the pain melt away.

[@priola7587]

Thank you for these insights and suggestions. I’m awake in the wee hours of the morning realizing I made a real mistake and stepped on a coworker today. I owe her an apology, and these suggestions will hopefully help me make a good apology and amends. And give her some space if she is still unhappy with me.

[@humanbeing4791]

I got mad at my friends and I apologized to one of them, but even though he didn't accept my apology, I just wanted to apologized, so it was ok with me....(even though it hurt😆)

[@itsclaire758]

I feel u 💔♥️

[@robertfrate6665]

Hi, been there done that, I’ll apologize twice after that, haters gonna hate! I’m not apologizing again!! Not my problem,

[@michaeljordan9879]

Maybe your apologies suck.

[@garybardwell7117]

@@michaeljordan9879 your the perfect example of why people doesn't except apologize that comment you just made sucks

[@michaeljordan9879]

@@garybardwell7117 well, maybe his apologies do suck. His “not my problem”:attitude sure sounds like it. Your apology can’t be an ultimatum for them to accept it or else. You are never entitled to be forgiven. You have to earn it with empathy and sincerity. If you can’t acknowledge what you did wrong and understand how it affected the offended person, then your apology means nothing.

[@garybardwell7117]

@@michaeljordan9879 that nails it 👍

[@garybardwell7117]

@@michaeljordan9879 hey you got a outter world message I'm jotting this down good deed of a message as it is awesomely put smh.....

[@treehousemafia]

Thank you for making me feel better, because my family is trying to manipulate me into thinking the division in our family is due to me not accepting my sisters insincere apology. They are now trying to punish me for not accepting my sisters apology by not including me in their life. I don't care to be with them and I'm not 10 years old so all it does is make me glad to not be around the drama. I have done all I can do and they all have done the 'do not dos'. It was just as you said, and affected me just like you predicted. They should have respected my space and time to think.

[@limityt1875]

I just want her to love me😣I tried everything...Everything!...Since we first met😭

[@karlosibarra3562]

Thank you. I may have said sorry too much... Imma give some space now. I feel panicky over offending someone.

[@Barraavataarr]

Thank you, my best friend just found out I lied, and they won’t accept my apology, thanks for the advice

[@lelemhotorotv9432]

Hello to whom it may concern I can recommend you to someone great and powerful who helped me manifest my lover back

[@lelemhotorotv9432]

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[@wildcardtarot4895]

recommend you to a great spell caster from NIGERIA who can help you win back your ex partner and he also does jobs like lottery spells,cure spells and many more.

[@wildcardtarot4895]

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[@K.Adler1120]

I apologized, I was genuine and sincere, and I was consistent after three years of no contact. They said to cashapp them 20 bucks otherwise I’m lying about being apologetic. Still never took back my apology, and basically was told that I am a sad, pathetic, disgusting lowlife that deserves the worst in life. Humbling, but I still do not regret it. I wished them the best

[@hillaryamanda7827]

I hope you didn't cash app them 20 dollars.

[@Lauren-vd4qe]

avoid them like the plague

[@j.mattlakes7792]

What I did isn't even worthy of one.

[@mrconfident786]

In girls vocab Space mean ETERNITY I GUESS

[@VikeingBlade]

Lol, felt that What was your apology like?

[@nakaylabrown2312]

I made a mistake today and this really helped a lot. So thank you!

[@archywiseman]

If someone has refused an apology from me, I just say, "Well, I wish you didn't feel that way. Please know you are still important to me and I hope we can still work this out."

[@selenabdallah9389]

Archy Wiseman does it work

[@archywiseman]

@@selenabdallah9389 Sometimes. Depends on the person. Depends on the relationship.

[@digitallocations1423]

That's very thoughtful and humble.

[@wamsoo2326]

I said sorry to my friend but it didn't work I love her so much but I broke her heart.

[@JamicaEm]

When I Apologized to My Ex-Bestfriend she told me 'I DON'T NEED YOU B*TCH' I was just trying to apologize But This is just hurting so much

[@moonbunny8279]

I had an argument with my best friend and she blocked me on every social media and I said sorry through KZbin messages but she just reads my messages and doesn’t respond to my messages. What do I do now?😭 I’ve been apologizing for 4 days now.

[@DrAllisonAnswers]

It's hard when you've apologized, put yourself out there, and the other person isn't ready to respond. It can feel pretty scary when we just have to wait for them, but that's part of apologizing...patience and respect for the other persons space. Sending encouragement your way while you wait! PS: You might also want to check out some of my videos on self-compassion to help you manage your own emotions. Thanks so much for watching!

[@moonbunny8279]

Thank you, she accepted my apology, this video was very helpful

[@myphuonghuynhthi1423]

Let it go do yr work

[@markvargas449]

@@DrAllisonAnswers I was talking to a girl but all we ever did was argue and like she didn't believe anything I said or trust me any more, we became friends, but we couldn't even do that right and she thinks I'm untrustworthy I told her why doesn't she make up her mind, first she says I don't want to be in a relationship now or in the future or be tied down to anyone that was her finally decision and she wasn't gonna change it, then she says oh you never know I might change my mind, I was omg then the next day she texted me and said you know what I did wanna be your friend, but if your gonna hold that against me then screw you and never talk to me ever again. We work today as well and she wouldn't talk to me there either, but now once and a while she talks to me but won't text me, she said if we're meant to be friends then we're meant to be. She said she wasn't gonna try that if it happened it happened like what your suppose to at least try right so I don't know I guess she just doesn't believe so she's just using a dumb excuse, what should I do.

[@ItsssMarkus]

I've Been there and Done That if they don't accept my Apology I just Move On and Never Be Bugged By them Again

[@jasmineplayz2037]

What if you do all the work to keep each other together and you don't feel like saying sorry but you still need to apologise?

[@robertfrate6665]

Hi again, been there done that many times, I don’t do that twice apology anymore, I’ll apologize once, if they don’t accept it! Not my problem! Grudge holders are not my kind of people! Not worth my time! I’ll only accept loving caring and forgiving people in my life, regards, Bob,

[@legendarytonyclutch]

Ppl are not obliged to accept your apology just saying you feel a way because you seem like everyone has to accept your apology

[@forever.rendeavor]

I felt guilty for making my mom mad and when I apologized and she said “ok” and I felt even worse because I feel like she didn’t think I was being genuine.

[@kokynawar3666]

Really thank you Doc I made a horrible mistake and that person didn't accept my apology I will try doing these things and tell you waiting your reply

[@myphuonghuynhthi1423]

No worry about, time goes by for her or him to ánalyse the error.we just move forward.People have different opinion.

[@sophiafarooqui4256]

What do you do when you have apologized twice but the friend still passes sarcastic comments in gatherings about how you let her down indirectly?

[@DrAllisonAnswers]

Oh that's so tough. It sounds like you clearly realize your error and have apologized thoughtfully. To be honest, I think you've done what you can. You've apologized twice, and it sounds like your friend is still processing her emotions. My guess is that her response might also be a defense mechanism to potentially buffer the hurt she's still feeling. I'd give it some time, be patient and consistent as a friend, and if it continues, you might want to consider checking in with her about it. It's a tough situation for sure, but hopefully that helps a little. Thanks for watching and commenting!

[@windows-kx1of]

@@DrAllisonAnswers if my cousin ignores me for over 5 months what do I do???

[@amandamarrero1893]

I've been in a relationship for 12yrs and i kept a secret from my partner that in his gut he knew but i finally gave in and told him it was a situation way before dating him but by doing so it open doors to many questions in which im answering and he doesnt like my answers and wont accept my apologies but it seems as if he is looking for something from me and i dont know what else to do ive followed all the steps in this video and it seems as nothing is getting through to him

[@Mehmin241]

IT WORKED THANKYOU

[@thegoldenblushofficial]

Hey How do deal with in laws who are constantly picking on each of your actions, and forcing you to get involved with their entire extended family when you don't want to?

[@DrAllisonAnswers]

That's a great (and tough) question! Setting boundaries with people is hard, especially when it's family. I've got an upcoming video planned about setting boundaries, so stay tuned for this! Thanks for watching and commenting!

[@marycooper8385]

I said some very hurtful and painful things to my sister ,she said she will never forgive me .I kept texting her ,I am watching your video and will not contact her for a couple of weeks . This was just poor choices on my part .I said some things,would have been better to have kept to myself . Unfortunately this is a lesson that is now resonating with me .I now subscribe to Silence is Golden. My younger brother passed some time ago hoping that I haven't lost her too. Thank you for your video Maybe time does heal all wounds . Praying

[@nldaddona]

What do you do if you try to apologize to someone and they won't respond to you at all? I tried calling, emailing, texting and they are completely silent and won't acknowledge my apology at all.

[@manseurwissam9146]

did they respond ?

[@שמעון-ק2ח]

Is it good to say or write "some people are such good people that they feel hurt if you ask forgiveness, because they are never capable of getting angry in the first place!"? And to write this to someone who avoided answering if they forgive. Aim: Either they love the compliment, and WILL forgive if necesary, or they will open up about how they were hurt if they were.

[@gsue33]

So Doctor, what do I do when I have done all of those things and now it seems my friend is constantly "getting hurt" because they enjoyed my apology and now I'm apologizing and I don't even know why...

[@MihirD76899]

I stuffed up big time dude, I tried everything but still. she meant a lot.

[@drammehfatou9018]

i have a problem with my friend i call her a very bad person. later on i realize that i shouldnt tell her that i apologised to her and tell her that am sorry it wont repeat again but she said not her again she is done with me let me not disturb my self.

[@lelemhotorotv9432]

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[@michaeljohnson9817]

This is how my dad feels after I rejected it after he left me when I was 9 and now wants to come back because I’m 18.

[@aegisreflector1239]

Eh you can put ultimatums on the relationship. If he's genuinely sorry and would like a second chance.

[@mihaolgrabocka2181]

Hello. From my experience it is better to not apologize to a friend or best friend. Just don't talk with them. You'll think I'm wrong but try it and you will know how much better it is.

[@hijabibabeee8724]

How can u say that?

[@TrishLove23]

Thanks for your advices, I will try to apologize again and I'll let you know what happened.

[@TrishLove23]

It worked... It worked . !!!😁 Thank you very much. !! 😘

[@macinelson9259]

My sister is toxic and anytime I apologize she asks me why I did it and so I explain. Then she attacks me and says that it’s not an apology bc I’m just excusing why I did what I did instead of accepting it. It’s so hard bc she always tells me to apologize but then when I do she won’t ever accept it. She only eggs in and on until I hate myself. Now I’m crying in my bed wondering what I did wrong. I can’t handle the toxicity. I don’t know what to do.

[@jonaskoelker]

> Then she attacks me You could point out to her that she asked, and tell her that she has a choice to make: she can either ask and hear about your reasons, or not ask and not hear your reasons. If she is dissatisfied with the obvious consequences of her own actions, she is not to take it out on you but instead choose different actions. > I don't know what to do Don't deal with emotionally immature people. Or at least be very firm about your boundaries.

[@johnrainsman6650]

I don't know if my worker is going to accept my apology, and I wouldn't blame him if he didn't. I was a jerk to in my colleague's office. I spoke to him about his outgoing, tactile behavior at work. Told him he shouldn't touch anyone without consent. Just handshakes. I said we needed the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment, that he pretty much shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school. How he shouldn't tell his stories because they may be inappropriate to some degree to the other workers; funny to him only. I think he’s about 25. He seemed pretty quiet and uncomfortable during my speech. Answered a question or two with a nod and headshake. Then, that early evening, I saw him almost get hit by a truck from my window. He BARELY got out of the way in time. Having seen him his near-passing and realizing the office would've been our last moment together, I decided I should've been more delicate and sensitive when speaking to him at work. More filter, less touching at work? Yeah, but compromise would've been fine. Like, only touching friendly coworkers he gets along great with. It's perfectly natural to causally touch or tap people *without* it being creepy. He never meant to be that word. He just needed some limits. I should’ve shown more patience and respect. A brief talk in the hall, not formerly in the office with his boss present. And I shouldn’t have asked her if there anything she wanted to add. Plain insensitive. The guy never meant any discomfort or harm. He deserved better from me.

[@SydMountaineer]

Info about one aspect of this subject is difficult to find help with: When someone does not accept your apology because they believe you did something intentionally to hurt them because they're reacting to a triggered emotion rather than to the actual incident that happened. I apologized in the proper ways, it was sincere, I did not allow myself to get triggered in response to their abusive behavior, and even though I knew that it was something that someone should not normally need apologize for, I did anyways because I wanted them to know that I realized they were reacting to a real hurt, a real emotion, even though their reaction was inappropriate according to the actual thing that happened. (Ofcourse I did not tell them that!, but my apology was sincere, even though it was an accident, it was sincere because I did NOT do it intentionally, it just happened.) I acknowleged their feelings & apologized in a healthy way, but they continued to verbally abuse me saying that they did not believe that I didn't do it intentionally, and kept giving me reasons of why they thought I did it intentionally. What happened: When I went out of the door, I accidentally let their cat out, and there was no trouble at all getting the cat back in, the cat did not run away, did not get hurt, I picked it up as soon as it stepped out onto the porch, and put it back inside. But the person became extremely angry, sat me down at a table, and railed on me for nearly an hour, and was so angry that they made a fist, hit the table, and started coming across the table to hit me, but stopped themselves. I kept calm, but after a while, I started crying, but I never became angry back at them, it was scary, so I had no choice to keep as calm and non- provoking as possible. I tried logic, but logic did NOT work at all. No matter how calm I kept, no matter how much I apologized, they wanted to keep arguing and tried to force me to admit that I did it on purpose. This was a close family member, and someone I would NEVER intentionally hurt, yet they kept trying to get me to admit it. Logic did not work, nothing I said helped, apologies did not help, only made them more angry. They were verbally & emotionally abusive to me, and gaslighted me, but I did not want to admit that I did it on purpose because I did not. It was an accident. They tried to argue against how it could not have been an accident, that I could have prevented it from happening, that based on "logic" (their logic) that I would not have let the cat out of the door unless it was intentional, that everything about it "proved" that I did it intentionally. (This was my adult son who did this to me, and it was MOTHER"S DAY, and it was the morning after they brought home their newborn baby, my grandson, I was staying at their house to help at the hospital and after baby was born - so WHY would I purposely let the cat out just to hurt my child when he had just brought a newborn home from the hospital???) He was ruthless with me, trying to force me to admit it, I tried to tell them why I would never do that, trying to show him why I would never do something just to make him upset - it was his wife that woke them up from bed at 6a.m to tell him that I had let the cat out the door, so in reality, I think his wife did worse than what I did.(But I never said anything like that to him, I was trying to keep the situation calm). He went over all the possiblilities like, what if the cat had ran away, got caught in a fence or got hit by a car? But the cat never got even 1 foot away from me, as soon as she got out, I reached down and picked her up, that's when my son's wife seen what was happening, and she ran towards the bedroom yelling his name, waking him up - But there was no need to wake him up, I was picking up the cat, putting her back inside. He made me leave that morning, it was a Sunday, and I had no rental car, and my airline ticket was for another day, but he wanted me gone right away, with barely giving me time to get my bag packed, and he wanted me gone so quickly that he could not wait on me to get a rental car delivered or to wait on a taxi to go get a rental car, so he drove me to the airport and dropped me off - but my plane ticket was for another day - so I got a rental car at the airport and drove to a relative's house several hours away.

[@Lauren-vd4qe]

GOOD LORD!! I cant believe no one commented on your story!! thats outrageous ABUSE what he did to you. you had NO CHOICE? you sat there for an hour while he YELLED at you? I wd have apologized, then packed my suitcase and walked out the door, go stay in a hotel then taxi to airport. DONT EVER put yourself in a position like that again. I would NOT speak to him until he apologized, oh my my my....

[@twinkle8217]

@@Lauren-vd4qe Right.. She is a good one because there is no way my child no matter what age would have talked to me like that.. I would have packed up and roasted the crap out of him, then before I left, I would have taken the cat and threw it at him lol

[@Lauren-vd4qe]

@@twinkle8217 great ending!! ha ha!!

[@iamjohnporter67]

My sister hurt my feelings and really crossed a line when she brought up my past and I was so upset with her. Later that day she just says "Oh well I always get angry and say things that I don't really mean" but I am not having any of this nonsense. My sister is toxic and likes to brush anything wrong she does and then acts like its not a big deal.

[@Lauren-vd4qe]

minimize or end contact with her.

[@paulbaker2551]

I've genuinely done nothing wrong but they said they where done with me . I apologized for upsetting them and asked what I've done wrong and they have been ignoring me for days . Now I'm mad because I don't know what the hell I've done so I don't know how to fix it

[@eyzee00]

Bro just happened to me so m planning to cut them off, there is hella good people and potential friends out there, we just need time to move on

[@rnbsteenstar]

The reason is, in some cases, they might think you're a f***ing liar! Or, they're still in such pain. Or, worse, they hold grudges. Or even worse, they f***ing hate you forever! But whatever you do, keep your door open in case they change their minds. "If you ever change your mind, please give me a call!"

[@lelemhotorotv9432]

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[@Kytheem]

I just messed up this time and I said sorry he said no it doesn’t work on me and keeps saying no to me

[@sabryymusic]

I really hope she will someday i miss her so bad 😭 i even wrote a whole letter to her with my apologys :/

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[@himanisingh9072]

How can you be consistent and continue to show that your apologising... And give that "space" .. ?

[@Qedoshim]

Okay. I need some help on this one. I have a sister. She has never been mad at me to the point where she stopped talking to me. Thanksgiving 2021 is when I had her and her husband and daughter over. This was their first time over to my new home. My sister made herself more than comfortable in my home. She left my lights on (I believe also the TV) when leaving my home. She had her travel bag leaning against my wall. She made my microwave spoke twice in the same day. And much more. She became angry when I had set boundaries in my own home. When we went to the grocery store she became mad when I wouldn’t walk down each isle with her. I walked with her most of the time, but broke away to get some items for myself isles away. Then I returned to her. She got mad when I didn’t help put her bags in my car. I open doors and put bags in the car for my mother, girlfriend, or wife not my sister. She gets mad when one doesn’t do we she expects them to do regarding herself. I would like some feed back. Thanks.

[@MilyGraceG]

What if she forgives me but the next time I mess up she keeps saying your just gunna mess up again

[@murphsviews]

Maybe remind her that you're human.

[@garybardwell7117]

@@murphsviews best text

[@babydrip9429]

been there, still don't know what to do.

[@babydrip9429]

@@murphsviews she doesn't care enough to hear that

[@space676sof]

There is a girl and I misunderstood her for someone else and now when I apologized she's saying "ok?" She's running away from me I even bough a of her outfits that she listed in her group and even apologized thru her group wall but still she's coming online and going offline not giving me any attention...I even cried yesterday because I feel so awful and I hate myself for this :(

[@nidgeontour257]

If you ask her to forgive you and she says NO! No to me means Next Opportunity! Move on to the next one! A fresh start is a welcome break from all the hate! Just avoid the Bunny Boilers! lol x

[@RandomPerson-jz8ge]

What about if you were the one who started it like me :(((((

[@nidgeontour257]

Random Person regardless, for guys if we start if of not? We always get the blame? Accept it and stay or move on pretty quickly. Men and women and wired very differently the sooner guys realize that the better off we’ll be! X

[@RandomPerson-jz8ge]

@@nidgeontour257 I'm not a male lol Just trying to state the fact that lost my friends was because of me 😭😭😭

[@ljonesmedina4616]

I messed up big time by lying because i'm feeling ashamed i told her lies until i said the truth hours later. I don't blame her for being mad at me. I can only blame me. She told the truth i told a lie and it changed everything. I know it's hard to forgive a liar but i know i can do better, i can do it. But at the same time i don't want you to go 🥺

[@brittanyazzopardi5919]

Thank you so much! My bestie is very sad and i think shes mad at me.🥺😔I wish she would just understand me and i wish she would just forgive me.I love her very much and i would do my best for her to be my best friend forever.and she also blocked me😔🥺🥺. Im crying😭😭

[@lelemhotorotv9432]

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[@lelemhotorotv9432]

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[@hello_people.]

@@lelemhotorotv9432 is it a therapist or something? 🤔

[@digitallocations1423]

@@hello_people. Please don't dial that number. It's a scammer.

[@JerubbaalgodSlayer]

Some people won’t even allow you to approach them to apologize. 🤷🏽‍♀️🇨🇦