Wheelchair Etiquette: My Biggest Pet Peeves

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Danielle

[@lisamarshall6746]

How about when they talk to the person you are with instead of you directly? My husband hates that one. Or when you are identified only by your chair? I one time requested a table for 4 stressing we preferred a table rather than a booth. The hostess replied back to me, "okay, three people and a chair?" I had to inform her that I am a person, not a chair.

[@daniellability]

Ah, yes! Those are definitely frustrating situations (ESPECIALLY the one when people talk to the person I'm with instead of me directly). I feel your pain!

[@weldinpadilla]

@@daniellability you forgot the one where abled bodied people say to people in wheelchairs “I don’t know if I could handle being in a wheelchair I think if I got paralyzed I would want to kill myself.”

[@deniece0821]

​@@weldinpadillaI think I'd reply with "Gee, if I were as blatantly ignorant and stupid as yourself I think I might kill myself." Probably not because suicide is no joking subject, but you get what I'm saying. People can be so incredibly insensitive!

[@deniece0821]

This happened to me once. I clapped back with "Oh goodie, since I'm not a person I must not have to pay for my meal, huh?" Several people cracked up but the hostess who said it just gave me a deer-in-the-headlights look. 😳I don't think she was too bright, anyway. 😆

[@cbryce9243]

Thank you for having this forum to talk. I have just started using a wheelchair and in a couple weeks, I will be getting my fitted one. I feel so fortunate that I live in an area of the USA that is very wheelchair/disability, etiquette educated. There are still those who say hurtful or ignorant things, but I know it is saying more about them, than it is about me. It's a shame we have to be aware and prepared every time we go out, to be an educator. How I see it, if we don't do it, who will? So far, I have only been a bit angry at one person. She was a cashier at Goodwill, who asked my friend I was shopping with, talking over me like I was deaf, "Oh, are you her caregiver?". I loudly said NO!! I won't go into detail, but when she was done scanning my things, I briefly and gently explained to her why I was irritated. She said she'd never do it again. It is better to say things in a gentle way and not be cranky, but sometimes I am in pain and don't have the energy to teach others proper wheelchair etiquette. Generally, most people know enough to be polite. "Could I get the door for you?" and "Do you need help?" If I say "no thank you", please don't say, "Are you sure?" It is OK to ask, but respect my answer. Asking, "How come you have to use the wheelchair?" or "what happened to you, can be phrased to, "May I ask you a personal question about your disability/chair, etc.? Is perfectly OK with me to ask, but be aware, we as wheelchair users are not always in the mood to be teacher. Sometimes I like to share about my diseases, other times I feel very privet. If I am too tired, I try to remember to tell them that they can learn about wheelchair etiquette on Google.

[@tomlee252]

here's one, your rolling along and someone literally walking in front of you without disregard, and if you hit them because you couldn't stop fast enough, its like walking in front of a car and then suing them for your stupidity

[@MarkEshoUK]

Great video and channel. I've had similar experiences. It's people like you (being open about disability) who have inspired me to create my own channel. Keep up the good work!

[@daniellability]

That's amazing! I'm so glad to hear it. We need more youtubers with disabilities. Good luck with your channel!

[@ThatsHowWeRoll]

Literally LOL at 3:50. Ugh, such a classic. Cheers to you, girl, for handling it with grace!

[@nikkimatthys1995]

I’ll never understand why when we’re in public as wheelchair users people think they can do or say some of the things they do it drives me crazy. If there’s an adult asking me about disability the first thing that usually come out of their mouth is when was your accident and I’ll say no I was born like this but usually if I get asked why I’m in a wheelchair it’s by kids I rather have kids ask me about my disability rather then adults because kids are more satisfied with just a simple answer

[@daniellability]

I agree - I think it's a lot easier to talk to kids. And I think it's important to because then hopefully they won't be as nervous to be around people with disabilities as adults.

[@ecologist_to_be]

People try and push my chair too even though it is a power chair. 🤔 Then they act so pleased with themselves as they helped me get somewhere and it like...unless you're the incredible hulk you didn't help at all haha

[@daniellability]

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[@yellowrose126]

I was just walking normally with my crutches and braces, going from point A to point B, and the lady who's house I was visiting said "bless your heart"... UGH!

[@daniellability]

Yes, I get a lot of those kinds of comments too 😕

[@yellowrose126]

I was like "well, how else would you like me to walk lady?!" This is as easy as I can make it look to walk with crutches and leg braces on annoying gravel! :D Gravel and I are mortal enemies! That and black ice!

[@TartarianTopG]

I have spina bifida also, although mine isn’t as severe. You look like you’re doing great

[@daniellability]

I'm so glad you found my channel! I hope it's helpful for you.

[@TartarianTopG]

WOW I totally agree with everything you’ve said. Unfortunately I can relate also.

[@daniellability]

I'm glad I'm not the only one :)

[@weldinpadilla]

@@daniellabilityI’m a guy in a wheelchair and I get “you’re too handsome to be in a ♿️

[@hieronymusjacabusprincepso5060]

Keep up the vids!

[@yellowrose126]

My brother was pushing me on a sidewalk in Canada and he was talking to someone walking next to me... So when we crossed the street and I tried to warn him about the lip in the curb, he didn't hear me and he ended up dumping me out on the sidewalk! :O

[@daniellability]

I've had that happen before too. Not fun!

[@weldinpadilla]

Im a guy in a ♿️ and I get “you’re too handsome to be in a ♿️.”

[@marionalv]

Great video, I totally agree with everything, including Lisa´s comment below. I also have SB, I am from Norway. We may have talked on Instagram a while ago :)

[@daniellability]

Yes we did! 👋🏻 thanks for watching!

[@TartarianTopG]

Keep uploading! New sub!

[@daniellability]

Thank you so much! That means the world.

[@Nikkitoney]

I agree

[@daniellability]

Thanks! I'm glad I'm not the only one ❤

[@TartarianTopG]

My sister is 29! I’m 22. Sorry for all the comments lol

[@yellowrose126]

Somebody actually said to you "you're too pretty to be in a wheelchair."?!