When He Says THIS, You're About To Get Your Heart Broken

[@JonathonAslay]

FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/ Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/ Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations Follow Me On Instagram instagram.com/jonathonaslay/ Join this channel to get access to perks: kzbin.info/door/DOXs_34FF93o66Z-S0py1gjoin Naked Divorce/Naked Recovery nakeddivorce.com/?ref=jonathonaslay Get a FREE copy of my dating vows here: www.jonathonaslay.com/datingvows

[@Gigi-c3h]

I will join soon🙏

[@SarahSwisher]

😮

[@SarahSwisher]

❤

[@patty8945]

I have learned to walk away when someone is not taking me seriously, either in a friendship or romantic relationship, one of the most important lessons I have learned.

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks for sharing 👍🏼

[@mommagoosesgoodiesandgarde2290]

I’m learning this rt now! I feel like my eyes are wide open

[@Tbn48ibp]

Smart cookie you are. I have learned this late in life. Oh well. Better late than never. lol

[@agasza3]

I am joining the club 😅

[@sherriflemming3218]

Absolutely. These boots are made for walking.

[@northshorelight35]

As a woman, ALWAYS DATE WITH INTENTION. We're really not wired to "take it slow and see where it goes."

[@Theinfamouskiki411]

YOU AINT LYING!

[@sherriflemming3218]

Fact

[@elaussies]

Agree 100%. When I am bothered I usually resort to twisted humor. It is a defense mechanism. I don’t like being caught up in this because then I’m not investing in building. In the case of let’s see where it goes…”Let’s bring in the monkeys “. Hopefully this comment won’t offend anyone. I’ve used this when I have been angry & didn’t think he deserved more of a response

[@SaystheTruth3]

I believe too many women are rushed to marry. Get to know someone.

[@IslandB]

I am amazed how I tolerated this man! Although I sent him "this relationship has ended" email two years ago, I am able to get "bored, uninterested" only now.. poor me!

[@bonniejones7919]

I totally agreed with all of these. I dated a man for only a couple months and he said all of these! We both are 66. I'm widowed. He went from dating to let's be just friends. I found out that he is a serial dater. I was married my whole life so this dating scene to me is already bizarre!

[@JonathonAslay]

I understand

[@Tbn48ibp]

Bonnie -same here. I totally can relate to what you shared here. I’m glad you left the guy. My guy was a widow as am I. I was married forever too so it’s so difficult. I am 60 and it is much more difficult to deal with in our age bracket . The likelihood of us finding someone normal …well I am Feeling discouraged! Anyway much luck to you !!

[@glendagai]

Dated a man for months. He was always wanting more and was always right. I was not where he was and he would not slow down. I called it quits

[@Tbn48ibp]

@@glendagai good for you and glad you left him. Sounds like a selfish and stubborn man!!

[@sherriflemming3218]

Agree Marcie.

[@deec411]

I recently met a wonderful caring man and told him I wanted to take things slowly to build emotional connection before having physical relations and he agreed. We both are wanting a long term commitment. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@rebel5140]

I feel exhilarated in just dumping someone who was trying to set me up as a placeholder.....and I didn't even give him sex! It is empowering to know I don't have to settle.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Go Rebel! 👍

[@rebeccaperson8581]

How was he setting you up as a placeholder?

[@Portia620]

@@rebeccaperson8581that’s my question? How did you know. Share

[@dianac113]

Similar situation here, I’m still not sure if he is serious about me but it’s so confusing

[@natureflowadventure4158]

My grandmother, who had been married and divorced, met the love of her life when she was in her 60's and he was in his 50's.

[@SuzieQ7983]

I have dated a guy for a month. Then I traveled back to see my family for two weeks. He immediately said “I don’t anticipate talking to you everyday or often.” I had just listened to this video when this happened. I told him “I don’t see this relationship advancing and wished him well.” I’m through wasting my time on this kind of man.

[@sherriflemming3218]

👍 Suzie Also, I cannot meet your needs to talk daily, or I don't have time to talk regularly, or the lame busy excuse. Right don't waste your valuable time.! He isn't worth yours.

[@enjoythespectacular]

Or…. He was giving you space to be with your family and was saying he wouldn’t be upset if if weren’t able to call or text

[@DebbiePare]

Agree with the last reply. See the filters we come through. I said that very thing to my boyfriend when he went to Las Vegas. I didn’t expect to speak to him every day or as often because of all his activities.. and the same thing happened when I was with my family in East he knew we wouldn’t speak every single day or for as long, but we might text and check in… To me, I thought that was a respectful thing for him to say. See the different filters we come through…

[@glendagai]

LOL… I am 76 and dating a wonderful younger man. We were friends for 2 years before we started dating. I was settled to being alone after being divorced for 35 years. I was happy being an independent retired women, enjoying my family. I had dated other men but never changed my mine about being happily alone. Then this man and I became close and I am all in for sharing my life with someone. You have to look for someone that impacts your life.

[@Tbn48ibp]

You gooooo girl. Congrats!!

[@NDiaz-et6hc]

Wonderful! Congratulations and may your journey together be blessed.

[@AngelYoung-ng8bu]

I too became friends with a man 8 years my senior a year and half ago😊 I'm 64 and he's 72. We never went on a real date. I met him at his house and played fetch with my dogs there while talking. Gradually I started going over and hanging out. Soon it was dinner and then spent Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners together. I was dating another younger guy during this time as we became good friends. Lots of hours of deep conversation on the phone. He showed me he cared by his actions. I broke up with the younger guy as we never got past the physical part 😂 On mother's day eve my friend kissed me for the first time. I say it was my last first kiss. I realized I have fallen head over heels in love with this guy. It's a relationship based on friendship and trust. It's a different deeper level of love 💘I am happier than I thought I would ever be at this age. I am a 2 times divorced and also a widow. Just goes to show that we are never too old for love. I'm happy for you sweetheart. Embrace it and every single moment you can. We are truly blessed❤❤❤

[@jessicaszeman6771]

Yep.. was texting and calling a lot, calling me pet names, etc. We go on a date and the very next day is when he became distant.. the pet names stopped, hours would go by between texts, the phone calls stopped. I questioned what was going on, if he lost interest in me and got the "busy" response. I instinctively knew it was bullsh*t excuse but gave the benefit of doubt and gaslit myself 😏 this went on for two more weeks before he ghosted me. It was so confusing, like he got me to develop feelings then pulled the rug out from underneath me. I am disappointed but not suprised. Trust your instincts ladies.

[@forbiddenmosaic]

You never see it coming

[@SaystheTruth3]

Unfortunately there's probably someone else...

[@Tbn48ibp]

With my past guy I noticed he was very attentive and as soon he was secure that I’d stay with him …then he’d slack off and start to breadcrumb me. When I pulled away some, he wasn’t sure he “had me” and would Be mister charming …but when I reciprocated my feelings matching his..funny he’d not be as attentive. I hated having to keep him in check. He let his grown kids control him and influence us. He wasn’t consistent !! I had to end it and it broke my heart but I wasn’t about to tolerate that and forever not trust him. Simply put, the guy never earned my trust

[@walkaminutewithme4787]

100 same here 😢

[@Strive.in.the.cause.of.Allah.]

Looks like he had attachment issues.

[@1991windsor]

I'm in the same situation right now.😢

[@LisaGemini]

That's an emotionally constipated man. Playing those games and letting your KIDS control your life? How pathetic.

[@MaryFrancesWeirbach]

Same here. Daughter has her mother and father over for dinner sometimes 2 or more times a week

[@LisaGemini]

As far as love after 60, the beautiful and talented Olivia Newton-John didn't meet her true love until she was 59! They got married a year later and were blissfully happy until she died at 73. Lots of people get married after 60.

[@The_Naughty_Kitten]

❤

[@Tbn48ibp]

Loved Olivia!!! I’m 60 and I agree with you. I’m not giving up on love and growing old with a wonderful man would be a blessing .

[@sherriflemming3218]

I'm not giving up on compatibility. That matters most of all!

[@LisaGemini]

@@sherriflemming3218You said it, girl! Compatible lifestyles are so important. No smokers, druggies or alcoholics and no cat owners. Stick to your guns!

[@sherriflemming3218]

​@@LisaGemini You bet Lisa. I have quite a list of dealbreakers. Maintain standards. Have a very Merry Christmas 🎄❤️

[@Tbn48ibp]

Agree Jonathan …i refuse to give wife benefits at girlfriend prices ! Lol. I feel like we must be matched in our pace of the relationship and if there is a balance issue ….run forest run!!

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@montanasky2253]

Love that!!

[@sherriflemming3218]

Go Marcie! 👍

[@MM-lb9np]

This has happened 2 me. I got attached 2 someone. He said he wasn't looking 4 a relationship. I believed him. He dumped me 4 someone else. Turns out he didn't want a relationship with me. I was a place holder. Totally broke my heart 💔

[@sherriflemming3218]

He'll treat each woman the same way. You deserve better❤️🫂

[@MM-lb9np]

@@sherriflemming3218 Thank U ❤️

[@sherriflemming3218]

@@MM-lb9np You're welcome MM. He's mediocrity.- transactional. A User- Spender. NEXT! Merry Christmas! 🎄🫂❤️

[@RaysOfSunshine-uw2sc]

Some men can misuse the words I love you when not being sincere.

[@Gigi-c3h]

I agree with you 1000% I had this guy tell me he wanted to take it slowly. He was still hurt from his past relationship and talked about it. I had NO intimacy with him. It was a red flag to me and i told him he wasn't ready for a committed relationship and then, i cut let him loose!!🎉

[@Salvation123..]

@user-lk1bj1sq4p I just left it with a guy I also met at Hinge.. He kept on saying the past relationship crushed him so much.. I encouraged him to get therapy. Hopefully he will truly consider that. Unless it was all a lie. Thank God it was a LDR so no see or physical connection .. Be careful out there ladies !

[@dargeo1406]

Yes, sounds painfully familiar. After love bombing me and even mentioning marriage, one day my toxic ex said “ I go in all hot but get tired of the same woman fast”. Soon after he told me “ I don’t know what to do with you” and disappeared without any explanation. It was just a red flag after red which I had ignored for months. The breadcrumbing was one of them, the obvious lack of common goal -another, but I was so blindsided by his fake niceness, I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until later. Also he started mentioning his ex and his side pieces. I was flabbergasted. Narcissist 101… Glad I escaped, but still healing especially after he had the NERVE to reconnect several times…

[@ASultryWmn]

Loving Jonathon's comments and advice. He cracks me up playing the big brother with shotgun asking man what are your intentions? We all need a Jonathon as our big brother.

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@Tbn48ibp]

Love to all you ladies. I think it’s awesome we are so brave being able to speak our truth and face our issues !! I wish all the best !!

[@JonathonAslay]

Indeed

[@auntie44m]

Thank you for this video. I knew something had changed in our long distant relationship of 3 months about 2 weeks ago when he stopped flirting and the late night chats stopped. Today he sent the I’m sorry I’ve met someone local text, he may have or he might have just gotten cold feet as I was about to fly to him for our first meet up. I’m 61 he is 62, and this my first chat after more than a decade so I soaked up the attention like a sponge. Now I’ll be more wary if it happens again. Cheers

[@09280215]

My date said - he wants "to take things slowly", "I'm just enjoying myself (or - my life)". He doesn't want sex either. We're just companions for weekend events. In our "relationship" no physical, andI don't even feel that I want him, because in the way we communicate I'm unable to build enough trust and passion. I even don't want to clarify anything, it's clear to me. So, once I fix a few important priorities I'll be back on a dating market :). If he wants to take me to some local events - I don't mind, but only if nothing else more interesting to do, because he's not my priority anymore once he said that key phrases. I don't afraid to speak up, I just don't see a reason - for what? I already know.

[@Joshualuv13]

This has happened repeatedly for me in the past few years. To point where I just don't hold out much hope or trust anyone .

[@Tbn48ibp]

I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. I hear ya. Sometimes I say to myself “are all the quality people taken or gone .” I get discouraged Anyway, here’s some good wishes and vibes your way!!!

[@sherriflemming3218]

It's raining great healed and empowered men! 🌞

[@Joshualuv13]

@Mk2.Sc.uv.43 Aww, thanks and same back at you! Cheers

[@Joshualuv13]

@sherriflemming3218 Great Mantra ! I'm going to use that ,cheers .

[@ASultryWmn]

As women we know when things are not as they should be in our guts. Unfortunately many chose to ignore all the red flags and warning bells going off to hold on to man who really does not want them. I'm to old to go for any nonsense anymore. I just keep in my head I'm to much woman for only a piece of man. If that means I'll be by myself I'm okay with that. ROFL i'm a only child so I'm good at being with just me.

[@Tbn48ibp]

Mine was meshed way too much with controlling adult daughters This is quite common with widowed men..the daughters become mini wives !! I was nit going to compete with that. Once he said to me “if my daughters knew I took you on this weekend getaway trip they’d kill me.” I thought to myself …huh? Should Have run then!!

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks for sharing

[@sophienguyen3768]

Run as fast as u can. U will never be his priority.

[@liveyourbestlifeover50]

Interesting the situationship I was in ( I ended this morning ) it was backwards, it started strong he did put his words in to action, we were very close and aligned . Then yes after a month it started to fizzle out. He was just not ready for a full time commitment. At the beginning he did ask me to give him a chance I did, but here we are. Yes I went against my better judgement.

[@northshorelight35]

Women, at the end of the day, men who will do these things do not make good, faithful husbands anyway. Even if you get them, they're the type who gets bored in marriage and will start talking to other women even if they never leave you. Men who are serious about commitment NEVER act this way. They don't date for transaction - because they don't waste their time or yours - and they certainly don't want to be in these kind of positions.This is why it's so important to know a person's dating history and pattern.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Exactly. Never doubt patterns. AKA The Track Record.

[@patriciawood9592]

Yep, it's resonating! Wish I was educated on this before it happened to me. Live and learn. Thank you.

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad it was helpful!

[@LisaGemini]

You quoted from Zoolander! I love that movie. Yes, nobody wants to be a placeholder or a back-up plan. I once met a guy many years ago who let me know he was hoping to get back with his ex. What a creep!

[@JonathonAslay]

Indeed

[@bcbodybetter]

This not only resonates, but I did so many of these to my last fella when I was getting ready to be done. My intention when I pulled back was hoping he'd choose to move forward. When he did not. In fact, he equally pulled back. As if he was shadowing me. He Just allowed the pullback & made internal excuses until I had to rise & invite the tough conversation. He's an avoider. I just didn't realize the severity. I was alarmed at how long he allowed the pull back to last without coming forward & inviting that tough conversation himself. Finally, it became my deal breaker = thank God one of us could stand it no more. Thank you, JA, for your perspective. You help me see 🙏

[@melstiller8561]

Anyone who experiences a dire need to tell the world how hard they've worked on themselves, and how ready they are for a committed relationship, are definitely not. Perceived readiness is a one-sided love affair that dies as it touches the tip of the hand it craves.

[@christinebeames712]

Ooh profound

[@cellostrings2522]

There’s nobody left. None.

[@joyceshirley9599]

WOW..i should have been connected with you.. because the Ex i walked away from...did all this !!! So Done

[@KathleenvandenBiggelaar]

Yes. Tough conversations are necessary. Open and honest is the best foundation for emotional depth.

[@MaggieCano-wu1ek]

We’ve been together 6 months but he does not do any of these but he did say in the beginning he wanted to take things slow but now things are moving fast!

[@aka44441]

I've been in that situation. It made me feel like crap !

[@JonathonAslay]

😔

[@user-lj7tq6pj7h]

Mindfulness!! Yes usually the missing piece. Thank you Jonathan

[@forbiddenmosaic]

Got my heart broken back in July. Our relationship was almost exactly what you described. It ended bc I don't wear the duct tape. About 5 months in, I sat him down for a talk. My intent was to let him off easy bc I knew he was exactly the guy you describe (not ready). He insisted that wasn't the case and had zero interest in looking for anyone else. That's when I let my guard down. Then just as you described, there was less communication, he was often busy. Two weeks later, he dumped me. In hindsight, he was taking me for granted, and I gave him a pass bc he was recently divorced and still very angry and hurt over it. I was the second woman he dated since separating. You sure hit the nail on the head. Following...

[@mojosloftcloset3265]

I recently got my heart broken... a few times by the same guy. He was all in at first, but then started wavering and he became emotionally abusive because when hes in love he has thos problem where he does that. I tried but the last straw was the 3rd time he left me. He still sends presents and texts and says he loves me but i give short texts back. I dont wanna hurt him but im Crushed and i need to move on.

[@janetgd]

Block. Move on. He's done it 3 times. He will do it again. And again and again.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Agree Jan. I think you need to care about yourself Mojo as he doesn't seem to care about hurting you. His pattern of behavior will repeat. Break the cycle of control and abuse. You're worth more than this! ❤️🫂

[@truemorris6695]

So, when my X boyfriend was sending a post to a his girl, friend, a bday message. He told me to back off!!! I wasted another year. Then 💔

[@LisaGemini]

Aw, I'm sorry you waited that long. You deserve trust and respect.

[@evakristiansen5719]

Oh. Yeah I’ve been through it all. But I ended it before we came through it all!! Lots of love ♥️

[@JonathonAslay]

Back at ya...

[@LindseyObrooke]

I'm a 35 year old woman that watches you a lot lately. I really thought you were going to be someone I didn't need to listen to, but one of your captions caught my eye. Now I watch because you make a lot of sense and I really work to take this info in. It's rough out there. I always feel like I missed the boat, but I'm hoping I didn't. And hoping that I won't fall for any BS while I'm trying to find that boat. Thanks for being candid and mostly reasonable.

[@KathleenvandenBiggelaar]

Yes. Tough conversations are necessary. One and honest is the best foundation.

[@KathleenvandenBiggelaar]

But sometimes it’s best for both to go cautiously. My partner is adjusting from a divorce and I am healing from the death of my husband who was also loved by my partner. We are healing each other. Wherever it takes us.

[@rhondaricks1544]

Yep...ive heard them all. I generally just walk away.

[@agnitagregoire8699]

I am still laughing. I like how u said when u see these signs RUN!

[@JonathonAslay]

Indeed

[@Gigi-c3h]

This is an Excellent video Jonathon!! The topics covered are supperp❤🎉

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad you think so!

[@tamtamtindall5793]

I am dealing with a situation where I was involved deeply with someone and they said they wanted to be with noone however if he did it would be with me. Soooo I am definitely hurt.

[@JonathonAslay]

What happened?

[@tamtamtindall5793]

@@JonathonAslay I know he's dealing with situations in his life like suddenly losing his brother 3 years ago and an addiction that he hasn't been able to get over... on top of being suicidal because of the things he's going through.

[@Tbn48ibp]

Oh gosh tam..I am so sorry. Sounds like some of his issues probably would bring you down eventually though I know you cared for him deeply! Lots of love and good wishes your way.

[@jenniferrivera5461]

Spot on with the video...❤ ya ...."feelings are meant to be felt." My fav saying !!

[@JonathonAslay]

Love that!

[@cathygarrick9957]

This totally resonates with me. I've been 'seeing' a bloke that I met online. Recently he is always busy, rarely texts me first and when he does, it's very vague. I'm besotted with him because he's playing hard to get. I definitely need to go back to therapy because I know he's going to hurt me.

[@evelynbyrne9955]

If you’re about to have sex for the first time and he says “I don’t want to hurt you….”. This means he’s just going to have sex and then adios.

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@sherriflemming3218]

Agree A user.

[@lanapalij4014]

Yes! I’m “busy”!!! So am I…! Yep!

[@lifewithsharonb5138]

I love your style. You exude confidence without arrogance. Love your channel. I am very glad I found you❤

[@JonathonAslay]

Thank you so much!!

[@yolandagarcia-qt1le]

Been thru that to have deeper conversations is a must if you not sure where the relationship is going! 👌

[@agasza3]

I was in relationship with my last boyfriend for one year. Around month 9 I felt some sensation in my stomach. It was first time and I was surprised why? But i noticed that he was bit distant, started being busy with kids, work, I noticed he didnt say „I love you” any more, and just one month before cut on sex and was constantly feeling unwell, with cold or sore troat so he couldnt really kiss me 😂

[@sherriflemming3218]

Sounds like an avoidant.

[@jenmonyet9667]

Thank you J, hate that you are so accurate! It hurts, makes me sad to realise I was so naive, he never wanted me even though I hoped he did…he used to say, ‘ we’re okay just as we are” when I’d express where we were headed. 2 years later, he wants to ‘catch up for a beer”, I still haven’t gotten over him. What do I do?

[@christinebeames712]

He’s feeling alone , he must have been dumped and needs reassurance,

[@groove1486]

I know it's not easy, especially when the heart strings have not been severed yet, BUT from my own painful experience trust me when I say that the best thing you can do for your heart and faster healing is NO CONTACT, period. Please, do not get sucked back in, he has not changed and you are gonna relive your pain and hurt all over again. That's my unsolicited advise. It is challenging, the no contact, but doable. Find the strength. You got this! I wish someone told me this seven years ago. My thoughts are with you!❤🙏

[@lori6156]

Because he truly is not emotionally available. Determine that right off the bat and if he’s not, run.

[@agnitagregoire8699]

The man was told that she was ready for lasting relationship but she doesn't want to be just a friend. He said yes but not now. I need some years to decide. I guess this is the same as let's take it slow right!

[@corinabeyer7026]

You give me so much clarity. You ROCK Johnathan❤

[@dianneestell6554]

Yep that has happened to me

[@Tbn48ibp]

Jonathan …yes always helpful Thanks so much. You’re appreciated !!

[@JonathonAslay]

Happy to hear that!

[@maritatrinidad5107]

I’m dating with someone over a year now, and recently he said I need to think deep about the relationship and let him know what my expectations are and what I’m looking for. Not sure he needs to know (again) after such a long time us dating. 😢

[@barbaramascaro6899]

I just came out of a long distance relationship just like that, he did the barest of minimum interaction, and would pull away after intimacy and ghost for a few days...I hung onto hope that it would materialize into something, but it was like trying to breakdown a brick wall! He would say all those things you mentioned, "Let's see where it goes", "I'm not interested in a relationship", and still I hung on...The final straw was when he was supposed to fly here to visit me, he wanted to come in January, we had talked about it a few times, then as it got closer, he started saying, "We'll see what happens", I had an intuition that he met someone because he was doing the slow drift, so I confronted him and he basically treated me like I was nothing...We were talking for 3 years!...I realized now looking back that I was a placeholder and what I thought was some sought of relationship was actually me being breadcrumbed all along...🤦‍♀️

[@sherriflemming3218]

Sorry Barbara. You deserve better.❤️ It's a lesson. Jonathon and Evan Mark Katz's podcasts are excellent on this topic. Proximity equals continuity. Long distance is easy because it's low maintenance. Out of sight out of mind. Bare minimum - breadcrumbs and inconsistency. . Great for those who want casual- transactional relationships. And prime for cheating. Juggling multiple people. Compartementalizing. Cyber relationships are artificial intimacy. Merry Christmas! Sending a 🫂 of support.

[@beegee5305]

The problem was that years ago I didn't know what the term "transactional" relationship meant.

[@JonathonAslay]

Most don't know...

[@Boldnbeautiful86]

mine used depression, anxiety and family coming into town as his excuses to not spend time with me. however, he still managed to tell me he loved me so much and missed me. he used to spend every weekend with me, then it went to maybe seeing him once a week to never knowing when I would see him again. HE wanted the relationship so soon when we first meet but when asked if he wanted to break up, take a break etc. his answer was always no.

[@jensnooters6938]

I learned a lot from this video.

[@taniagil3122]

This is so helpful. Thank you.

[@mmnn4845]

That's happening to me right now.

[@LindaTrescott]

This is excellent, thank you !

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad you liked it!

[@glendamartin8424]

Yep, today this just happened to me. I got blindsided by a man I’ve dated for six years. He texted me today saying, he has thought about our relationship is just about our amazing sex, hmmm. Dinner and dates slowly turned to, “I need a rain check”. Lately, he started coming over, bringing a bottle of wine over. I really didn’t notice he was slowly pulling away. All this year, he has been telling me, when he retires, at the end of this year he wants us to travel. I guess he found another travel mate. Actually, he did me a favor I can now find a real gentleman that will treat me as a lady. I learned good lesson over dating him. Don’t date a politician ! He was good a being too busy for a relationship.

[@AutumnLady46]

Sorry to be blunt but ,after 6 years and nothing moved to becomming serious ,you should have known it wasn't going the way you wanted to go ,you gave your power away .

[@AutumnLady46]

After listening to a lot of your video's ,i am beginging to feel you don't have a high regeard of guys ,you keep high lighting the bad pool of man ,i hope for 2024 you can highlight the sort of men that do need womens attention bwcause they are dating material , Merry Christmas to all .

[@sherriflemming3218]

Jonathon is artistically correct.

[@dianemarti4017]

I have also heard most recently that if a man says let's take it slow there's nothing wrong with it. You should ask more questions instead of just assuming that he mmmeans he wants something casual. Because you know we're meeting total strangers and so wanting to take it slow could mean that he just wants to get to know you

[@carmenabrego9399]

Spot on!

[@JonathonAslay]

🙏

[@elaussies]

Love your channel & listen to many of your podcasts. I have been seeing a man whom I believe is a psychopath. After dating with him for a bit over a year, we went from living together to him being happy living alone. I didn’t understand why it is more difficult to leave him until I noticed the signs in this book. This has been transactional and am happy to know this term now. He has not told me he loves me and although I have done much in this relationship, he has not been mutual with what is put in. IE: I did all of the grocery shopping and cooking, also bought clothing and items for his home while I was there. He has never bought me a thing. Only bar dates. I love hearing “beloved” and want to mend my heart and move on. BTW- I did not need him for $$ and am a clean lady and low maintenance. He is a spender/ user.

[@sabaalba5528]

Omg all signs happened with me. Now what I should do specially if I can’t talk I am enable to talk? Please help 💔

[@elizabethkirby9463]

Hey, Jonathan! Love your work. I KNOW that what I seek is seeking me. I'm composing a list of dicovery/deal breaker questions to ask on my 4 coffee dates. When should I ask what? I could probably figure this out by myself, but how about giving it to you for a future topic?

[@JonathonAslay]

Sounds great!

[@Realtalkwithlin]

My story: we were on the phone all the time in a day and but he always say he doesn’t have time (family issue). We met each other for coffee, sometimes at office and my home (early morning or really late night); but we had a few movie nights and 2 times to went out of our town. But every time I mentioned that I wish we can spend more time together then he gets irritated or unhappy about it. Then sometimes he will say something like I am responsible for my own happiness. And I have to deal with his issues. Anything else is too much for him. Then I refused to have him come over one night then he just disappeared.

[@elipotter369]

I've never really had a being dumped convo with anyone - i get the vibe he isn't in to me or is behaving a bit off, so i just never contact them again once i realise and mostly they don't contact me - and if they do, i hide or am busy. If a guy is still emotionally attached to their previous, they've told me early on and I take note. My problem with relationships has been guys who get emotionally abusive over time, and i don't understand what's going on until I've been hurt and stressed over a very long period of time - and then i have to quit the relationship for self preservation. In future, i hope not to get involved with those types and to be way more aware and savvy. I'm doing the work on myself and self awareness the best i can now. However, depending on my location, i may not meet that nice kind, secure guy with similar interests before my time runs out. I'm okay with being single though, i have interests and goals I'm passionate about. 😊

[@sharonbeatrez7954]

Yes this has happened to me..transitioning is difficult

[@DorothyPrater]

Sending Love!!

[@jossfangirl]

Yep. I got the - I am so tired and stressed from work. Even to the point where he would take a phone call on speaker from his manager who told him that he would have to step up to take over extra work. When I attempted to talk to him, he immediately accused me of accusing him of seeing others. And yeah - the sex was cut way back. Created the tension to end it. Yep.

[@Healthnut1976]

Yes this happened to me. He broke up with me one week before 3 months. He told me he wasn't ready for a serious relationship and still in love with his ex-girlfriend, who moved on. And several days later he texts me " please just give me time to think and figure things out." WTF does that mean? I didn't ask.

[@christinebeames712]

He means which option is best for him

[@groove1486]

Keeping you on a back burner just in case he needs to squeeze you for more whatever he thinks he needs and can get from you....please do not try to get clarity from him and simply move on. He is not worthy of you.❤

[@DebraFortMyers]

Just stop worrying + figure it out for yourself while he does. When he contacts you ask for clarification if you need to + go with your gut feelings. Can't go wrong that way. You both are individuals. You came together for a reason, no matter your age and how long you've know each other. Relationships are windows to our own and each other's soul. I am 65 and trying to reunite with a first (and only love) since I was 13 til age 30 where we separated for 30 years after a huge break up of our relationship/romance/friendship reuniting over almost 30 years later. We are finally working on becoming friends again to see if we can reunite to build a solid friendship again we both felt we had when we were young. Sometimes really listening and willing to drop our fears and work on the trust issues can be the ONLY way if its meant to be. In other words, anything can happen. The important thing is that you be honest with yourself, determine your needs and wants so you can be fair. When determining the investment.

[@slaughterhouse8769]

8😊😊

[@islacox1548]

Yes, these things are all happening 😢

[@michellem8284]

Jonathon, I can never seem to catch you live. QUESTION: Every man I've met lately shows zero interest in learning about me and just talks incessantly about themselves and nonsensical things. I've even gone on 2nd and 3rd dates thinking maybe they were just nervous. What gives?

[@sherriflemming3218]

Self centered and myopic. Therapy sessions. Weed outs. Gig was talking about these types of men from Millionaire Match in the livestream.

[@elaussies]

Heck yes he is doing this!

[@nightbreeze6264]

Your beyond Ausome Johnathon East Coast Down Under

[@tessgray603]

I love it when you say bump, bump bump, bump buummm. Thank you

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad you enjoy it!

[@agnitagregoire8699]

Yes busy is a famous one. YES it has happened to me!

[@JonathonAslay]

Busy is a lame excuse 😒

[@innekekoops4615]

Yeps happened to me as well

[@JHW44]

This hurt to hear but I needed it.

[@betterbrainhealing5970]

Well, I think your spot on About somebody who talks about their ex a lot after you’re dating. They’re not over it. I just broke things off with a man I’ve been dating for a year and a half. In the beginning He was wonderful everything I had been missing in my marriage. He talked about his ex-girlfriend on and off that he dated for two years more than he talked about his divorce from his ex of 25 years with whom he had a child also not looking back he never took any accountability for any part of the break ups. I told him the basics for the reason behind my divorce of 25 years, but I didn’t ruminate it on it like he did about the ex-girlfriend. And mine was very difficult, evolving the death of my daughter and complex trauma, but I did a lot of healing work before I got involved where as I feel like he did not.

[@dunerider007]

It's tough out there on the dating scene. I am amazed any one can get a second date in public. Two recent dates in the last two weeks in a very public well known coffee shop turned into the guy just haggling for when I would agree to have sex with him. Then also this week with no intention of a public date I got, from two other men 'Oh you live nearby can I come over to your place." Complete strangers off dating apps in all four cases and of course I say no and ask more questions. Apparently I'm a bit of a party pooper.

[@Tbn48ibp]

You’re not a party pooper..you’re a person with standards and I say keep them!! I had this one meet and greet at a coffee shop like that and the guy never once offered me coffee and talked without breathing. I thought to myself I’m gonna have to just walk out or CPR his sorry ass. lol. So I said, “oh my gosh look at the time…I better get to my class.” And ran outta there like forest gump. Lol

[@JonathonAslay]

I agree

[@sherriflemming3218]

An immediate hookup or obvious sexual agenda equals. Immediate weed outs. Why would you want to see or speak to them again? Call these men out on their shit! NEXT!

[@lindahahn1823]

11 - Yes Not comfortable with saying “I love you “

[@sharonbeatrez7954]

Discussion designated with me. Thank you

[@verarobinson6759]

Think mine will do that aswell now so sad

[@joyceshirley9599]

Yepppp it took a year into the relationship....I finally ripped the Tape off my mouth... Told him how i felt !!!

[@sherriflemming3218]

Always on point, Jonathon.

[@Carr2409]

This was great! I found value. Thank you, and hugs ❤!

[@JonathonAslay]

You're so welcome!

[@mommagoosesgoodiesandgarde2290]

Yes these have definitely happened to me

[@JonathonAslay]

That sucks

[@janetadams3467]

Yes its resonating..you are very helpful

[@JonathonAslay]

Glad you think so!

[@EMuro-wu7uy]

I've been hearing recently that some guys want sex within the first three date or it's over. I went out with a guy, after 3rd date there was a big energy shift, he even came to my door, but there were no moves physically, but he seemed to take a big step back, quite literally did a 180 degree turn. Ghosted me for about a month, and then after regular communication he went cold, because things were too much work, but didn't make any time to go out on dates.

[@sherriflemming3218]

He didn't meet your standards. That's a blessing in disguise.

[@cynthiaabada3961]

Terrific podcast again J😀& very glad to see you better. Cheers🎄

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks for listening