When It Started I Know! It’s The Why?

[@jessicacampbell8231]

This was very therapeutic video💗, I agree with you on the topics you discussed. At some point our children, regardless of the love, support and nurturing will choose their own good or bad behavior. Sometimes mental illness is to blame, and I mean once they are adults there isn’t a lot we as parents we can do. We can’t make them go to therapy or take medication etc. And you’re absolutely right you can’t see things clearly when you are in the thick of a situation, once you leave or create space then the truth comes in to focus. Sending you kind thoughts and support 💗

[@AVanADogAndMyself]

Hi Jessica, yes I can’t change the person they have become, no matter what l said or did for them, it tended to come back at me in such a negative way. If l said no l can’t, l was the absolute worst mother and in the end l rarely said no as l couldn’t handle the emotional distress l was put through. I have had more time to think now and lm so angry at me for not being stronger. Thank you 🙏 🩷🩷

[@92Tulips]

Wow, this is powerful, sending peace and love, I can relate a little. Loved your pictures, I'm glad you were able to walk away and hopefully doing better each day 😊

[@AVanADogAndMyself]

I’m so glad l did too and thank you 🙏 🩷🩷

[@Gigithehippie]

Thank you so much for sharing, the mental and physical abuse shapes our future life. Our children's life The triggers, are still difficult but im pushing foward. Being a past military wife wasnt easy for 21 years. So glad i found your channel, im in the US. ❤

[@AVanADogAndMyself]

You are very welcome. It does shape our lives and also the children, which many forget about 😞There will always be triggers, a video lm yet to talk about. It is difficult when this happens, but we have to push through them and tell ourselves, lm okay, lm safe, lm strong and they will not stop me from living the life l want to live. Write down what you know triggers you, then why it is a trigger, understand what it is that triggers you and then you can learn to manage them. We are strong but we are allowed to stumble sometimes. Thank you for finding my channel and thank you for sharing your journey with me 🙏🩷🩷🩷

[@fearlessmasters6678]

In spite of your setbacks - you have a beautiful life and soul ❤️ thank you for sharing! I get so much from your videos that encourage, overcome, create, and inspire me.

[@AVanADogAndMyself]

Thank you, lm so glad to hear that, guess why lm sharing with you, though when l started l didn’t know what was going to be from doing my videos. I will continue to share both the good and bad as they tend to go together at times but finding my place now is all apart of it. I hope to inspire others as much as l can even with this crazy mixed up brain of mine 😊🙏🩷🩷🩷

[@neverettebrakensiek8771]

I can certainly relate, sometimes we just love others more than ourselves. Some people are just natural caregivers and get their joy from making others happy. We never want to believe that those whom we love would be cruel and when they are, we think its something we have or havent done good enough. If I just love them more, do this better and that more, then they will love me back. We cant figure out where we went wrong, we cant make sense of it. We come to know that their behavior has nothing at all to do with us and we cant fix it for them, thats when we have to let go, we must sink or swim, survive. Closure does not come quick, easy or fast. It is worse than grieving a death actually, death gives a reason for the loss of a loved one, this sort of thing does not. I wish you warmth on your journey to heal, God bless you.

[@AVanADogAndMyself]

Hello, you said it perfectly and that is exactly how it was. I kept trying to fix, giving more and more but when l was needing a little help and feeling broken and couldn’t give as l always did because emotional l was struggling, instead of being treated with some compassion and love, l got the opposite. That was difficult for me to understand but l realized in many ways I had been treated like this for many years prior. I was stronger then and was able to do and give of myself. I certainly know now l definitely can’t fix as much as l wish l could have still. Thank you 🙏 your words are appreciated 🩷🩷🩷

[@betha3558]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Sharing can be therapeutic. I've also had trauma in my life. The memories never go away. But I'm learning how to deal with it. Unfortunately, I dealt with it by drinking and drugs. Anything to make me forget. I'm ok now after 27 yrs clean and sober. I'm finally feeling good about myself. Your right we have to treat ourselves good. Love to you.

[@AVanADogAndMyself]

You are welcome and good on you, 27 years congratulations. You’re right the memories don’t go away and l don’t think they ever will. It’s learning to accept that they won’t but only allowing it to own a certain amount of my time over the day and not all my day. I still have those days, full days of but I don’t know when l will get back to normal and I have accepted it will take time. Having happiness we deserve Thank you 🙏 🩷🩷🩷

[@ATouchOfCharmed]

Bless you y friend xx. Hi from New Zealand and Hi from trauma that I lived myself ❣

[@AVanADogAndMyself]

Hi all the way from New Zealand and thank you for taking the time to watch my video. I’m sorry to hear you have had to deal with trauma yourself. I hope you’re doing well now. I think it will always be there but I know that l will never forget what happened. I hope that l get stronger everyday. Blessings to you 🙏🩷🩷

[@ATouchOfCharmed]

@@AVanADogAndMyself Indeed thank you my friend xx

[@ATouchOfCharmed]

@@AVanADogAndMyself Bless you and no need for thanks xx

[@joanponton3316]

Thank you so much for sharing your videos! It appears that you are in the process of an amazing healing journey. I love your openness and heartfelt honesty. You probably aren't aware of this directly, but you are a beacon of light and hope to many. Sending hugs to you and your fur babies. ❤

[@AVanADogAndMyself]

Thank you Joan for watching, I appreciate that you have been so kind to me. I hope that others watching will see this as a positive step towards healing but more importantly that if anyone is going through it to speak up and know they to can get away from it. It’s a longtime of hurt if they don’t. 🙏🩷🩷

[@marylittle6988]

Trauma and grief….. they don’t seem to ever truly disappear do they? Best I’ve been able to do is “not go there”🤷🏻‍♀️…… which isn’t too bad really. People talk about healing, but I do wonder about the scale.🤔

[@AVanADogAndMyself]

No l don’t believe it does ever go away but healing is not l guess letting it dictate every moment of our day. I give it some and often I feel like I am not doing enough to keep myself happy but it’s not easy. I keep saying tomorrow will be better right, but it’s never a given that it will be. 😢 🙏🩷🩷

[@neverettebrakensiek8771]

@@AVanADogAndMyself For me it has been 25 yrs now. I do think of that loved one but I no longer carry the hurt, I no longer try to figure it out, my heart found forgiveness at some point. Its part of my story, a 24 yr long chapter, yet I have many chapters in my book of life which is still being written. The bad days get farther apart as you go along, youll get there and peace will come. In fact your writing a new chapter, here on this channel.

[@AVanADogAndMyself]

@@neverettebrakensiek8771 I am trying to let each day pass without thinking of what went so wrong and what I could have done differently, guess it’s time as you say where I will let go of that and forgiveness is within me, l just feel overwhelmed with the grief still, not everyday and that’s a blessing. Doing my videos has allowed me to speak after being silent for so long and I am so thankful to have people like yourself come into my life with such kindness. Will always be grateful for that and I so want more people to open up but mostly for people to be aware of what happens and not just be ignorant of this happening to people. I felt ashamed to tell people especially when it would mean telling people that my own child was being abusive to me. Telling people now still feels wrong but it also feels right. 24 years is a long chapter but glad you have found forgiveness over those years and may you have many happy years ahead. 🙏🩷🩷🤗

[@neverettebrakensiek8771]

@@AVanADogAndMyself It is right for you to talk about it, its an absolute for your healing process and you have every right to heal. I felt bad too in the beginning, we dont do it to be vindictive, but we do need to feel validated so we stop feeling like we are guilty for what someone else did to us. ❤‍🩹🙏

[@trynsurviven2440]

Sounds like you are on a good path I hope you can continue to get to a better place and thank you for sharing. No one should have to go through that.

[@AVanADogAndMyself]

I hope so too and a big thank you 🙏 🩷🩷

[@sonysgirl6301]

It was wonderful to see your family and animals. Sometimes, you just can't change the way someone acts. They have to hit rock bottom and realize how they have been. You have su h a beautiful soul❤❤

[@AVanADogAndMyself]

I’m glad you liked them thank you Very true one can’t l only wished they hadn’t been the way they were. But I am sure they will one day realize how they were and live regretting how they were. 🩷🩷🩷

[@AVanADogAndMyself]

I’m so glad to hear you are in a better place now and l understand how hard it was for you. We all deal with things differently because many don’t understand what it is like. Congratulations on 27 years clean that’s amazing and shows how strong you truly are. I will be taking care to make sure to care about myself Thank you 🙏 🩷🩷🩷

[@ruthwinnifred329]

Love to you

[@AVanADogAndMyself]

Thank you sweetie 🙏🩷🩷