When Stupidity Is A Survival Strategy

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As humans, we value intelligence perhaps above all other traits. But for some animals, intelligence isn't much of a virtue at all. In fact, some animals have perfectly adapted to their environments by getting, believe it or not, stupider. Here are some of the best examples of stupidity winning out in the animal kingdom.
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LINKS LINKS LINKS:
www.bbc.com/news/science-envi...
listverse.com/2015/02/09/10-a...
www.neatorama.com/2012/09/26/...
www.doc.govt.nz/nature/native...
animalvivid.com/dumbest-anima...
animals.howstuffworks.com/ani...
kidadl.com/facts/what-is-the-...
www.neatorama.com/2012/09/26/...
www.npr.org/2010/04/11/125773...
kidadl.com/facts/what-is-the-...
animalvivid.com/dumbest-anima...
2newthings.com/tracing-origin...
animalreview.wordpress.com/pa...
animalvivid.com/dumbest-anima...
a-z-animals.com/blog/the-19-d...
animalvivid.com/dumbest-anima...
www.allthingsnature.org/what-...
www.theguardian.com/commentis...
biogeoplanet.com/koala-brains...
www.climatecouncil.org.au/aut...
biogeoplanet.com/koala-brains...
animal-club.co.uk/are-koalas-...
koalainfo.com/does-koalas-lac...
www.pajiba.com/miscellaneous/...
TIMESTAMPS -
0:00 - Dumbest Animals
4:25 - Kākāpōs
5:43 - Sloths
6:56 - Pandas
9:00 - Turkeys
9:55 - Ostrich
11:14 - Lemmings
12:25 - Koala
17:03 - Sketch Madness Update!

[@ryan.hanthorn]

I'm a little disappointed the part at 1:20 about crows investigating a death didn't use the term "murder investigation" on account of that being the uniquely weird name of their grouping.

[@tira2993]

I actually admired him for NOT using it.

[@StevenBanks123]

Yeah, Joe missed an easy layup there.

[@stoneholme6743]

I actually think if would be a murder murder investigation so as to identify the murder murderer amongst them... Dare I say I murdered that??? Sorry, now I'm ashamed....

[@marcuk4260]

@@stoneholme6743 i'll get your coat mate

[@NunoCordeiroPT]

Came here to say this...

[@johnmcnally7812]

"You wouldn't look down on one bird because it's a different colour than another bird" Pigeons and Doves have entered the chat.

[@Kabup2]

Ants don't really like ants with weird smell.

[@gur262]

Flicflac purple green effect color? Expensive on cars, hated on animals thanks to the housefly.

[@jenerin905]

I was amazed to find out pigeons are just city doves! Lol

[@ivoryowl]

Did you know that city pigeons are also known as rock doves? Despite their poor reputation, I'm quite fond of them. They are very sweet and gentle, always return home and are loyal to a fault. Their iridescent colors can be quite pretty to look at too, and so are piebalds.

[@lucusloc]

@@ivoryowl Country Rock Doves are beautiful animals. Clean, iridescent feathers; strong wings for travel; good intelligence and survival instincts. City Pidgins are gross. Fat, misshapen and scruffy, with barely two brain cells to rub together, they live in an environment simultaneously overflowing with life's essentials and killing them from disease and over-crowding. They have zero imperative to think to survive, instead existing by shear gluttonous feeding and unhinged breeding. They may be the same species, but they are not the same kind of bird. Full disclosure; I feel the same way about rural and urban people. . . .

[@KaigaKarasuma]

To be fair, we found out during the Pandemic Lockdowns that the Pandas in captivity were just shy. The mated while humans weren't around. And I saw something recently that was talking about how they eat different parts of the bamboo plant at different times of the year. Specifically, they only eat the parts that are highest in protein during different parts of the growing season.

[@Astraeus..]

The fact that a BEAR is eating bamboo in the first place is all you need to know to decide these aren't the brightest animals on the planet...

[@KaigaKarasuma]

@@Astraeus.. They are taking advantage of an overly abundant, no-risk food source. How is that unintelligent?

[@ScionStorm1]

@@KaigaKarasuma cellulose is harder to break down when your built to be a carnivore. They do supplement their diet with some fruit and even small animal meat in the wild. But that should be the kind of thing that covers most of their diet and eating grass should be a supplemental not the main course. Animals that make grass a regular main part of their diet have digestive systems designed to break down cellulose and squeeze the most nutrients possible out of it.

[@KaigaKarasuma]

@@ScionStorm1 Very true about cellulose. It's put in many human foods as a binding agent and filler even though we don't digest it well. The key point is that pandas only eat the specific parta of bamboo that have the highest protein concentration. The area of that concentration changes throughout the year and pandas are smart enough to eat only the parts that are highest in protein. As an aside, it seems ignorant to say that an animal is eating the wrong thing if they've been doing it for thousands of years without issue. I want to make a joke about koalas here, but maybe they eat poisonous leaves bevlcause it makes them high. Maybe they've been depressed for thousands of years. XD

[@payvibaby]

Maybe they’re just conscious enough to feel bad eating other sentient animals. At least they’re loyal to the Masonic order.

[@poisontoad8007]

You pronounced Kākāpo okay. I worked with them on an off-shore island for a breeding season and mainland populations may never re-establish. They raise a single chick and only breed when a specific tree has a heavy fruiting season, which only happens every 5-7 years. Also a male Kākāpo will mate with just about anything except a female Kākāpo, even when she's standing right in front of him - and 'anything that moves' is not a qualifier. Examples in my personal experience include a dead Sooty Shearwater and a Conservation Ranger's jacket.

[@DLlama]

That's hilarious on so many levels 😂 Finally something worse at breeding than pandas They should still exist though Keep your cats inside!

[@xyz7572]

I love the Kākāpō! They’re so cute and so unique. I hope to see them one day 🥰❤️

[@atashgallagher5139]

There was a turkey that lived near my highschool who was smart enough to use the crosswalk and would wait for the light then cross the street at the crosswalk. He would even look at you and wait for you to push the button. And ever day when school let out he would be at the bus stop waiting for people to drop food, either accidentally or on purpose.

[@jmacd8817]

Wild turkeys are pretty smart. Not Corvid or parrot smart, but not dumb. Domesticated ones? Um, yeah. Box o rox dumb. But Guinea Fowl are even dumber.

[@kuntrasha]

What about Christmas Day?

[@kristensorensen2219]

🎉😂😂👍🤔🤣🤣⚡🗯

[@Dragrath1]

Yeah only domesticated turkeys are "dumb" wild turkeys are pretty intelligent and surprisingly social animals. I saw a Turkey kill a snake once they are actually pretty terrifying in their own right. Literally every "dumb turkey" thing comes from the poultry farm animals which are the basically colorless obese birds that struggle to support their own weight. For that matter meat farmed animals more generally have problems like growing themselves to death. Just swap out which ever animal for any creature which is bred for commercial grade meat production and the result is effectively the same.

[@williammiller3277]

@Dragrath1 that was Ben Franklins argument.

[@charlesjmouse]

Many years ago while in China I visited Chongqing zoo to see the pandas... three of them were sitting together in their enclosure bucolically stripping leaves from great bundles of bamboo with their mouths. This went on for some time until one started also wriggling about on it's bottom, seemingly getting very itchy. Said panda stood up, took the latest bundle of bamboo it was eating, and scratched it's bum with it. Satisfied after some intense rubbing it sat down to shove that very bundle in it's mouth... moments later it pulled a face, wretched, and threw up. Smart creatures!

[@arickel2000]

This is one of the funniest stories I have ever heard. Thanks for sharing.

[@squirlmy]

a lot of animals eat their own feces. I used to think my dog was amazingly well trained to wait for walkies, but later found out that during extended periods of time, she was eating her "accidents" in the house. Frankly, the part about it getting sick amazes me more than the fact the panda actually did this.

[@plumebrise4801]

@@squirlmy The dog can eat its droppings to attract the attention (even negative) of its owner, it can seek to eliminate its stools following a punishment or stress.

[@silverxpanda5852]

This is why I stopped liking pandas and I like red pandas now 😂 and I mean red pandas are actually the true pandas technically too

[@kaimanyu586]

@silverxpanda, why would you say, the red panda is the true panda? Panda is a bear and red panda is not, red panda is not even related to the giant panda. So how is the red panda technically the true panda?

[@FreeLivingProject]

I once saw a turkey pacing back and forth for over an hour in front of a 3 foot fence, trying to figure out how to get through it. Finally out of pity I came close to it to scare it over the fence, and only then did it remember it could fly.

[@An_Ian]

There used to be two turkeys that chased the mail man in my neighborhood. They were named Fred and Barny. Fred was hit by a car a few years ago and Barny just wandered around looking sad for a few years before disappearing

[@jessd8161]

For a few years as a kid I had a koala living outside my bedroom window. The noises they make during mating season are DEMONIC. Imagine waking up at 2am to the sound of the babadook grunting outside your window. I was terrified 😬😂

[@Pushing_Pixels]

The first time I heard a koala roar at night I was convinced there was some large, escaped predator in the area. They are loud for their size.

[@tukicat1399]

It is freaking terrifying!! had one under my window once.. late at night... I was thinking.. what the actual f....

[@gbreslin6635]

@@Pushing_Pixels That's the Male calling to the Female. They can be far apart at this time :) The Female's voice is VERY different, more like what you might attribute to one of those spirit things you see in the later harry potter films. :)

[@marquisdelafayette1929]

Where TF you living where you have koalas outside of your window dude? 😂 But yeah I have a fox in the neighborhood that my St Bernard befriended. First time I heard it scream I thought someone was being murdered. Then one day last summer I see it’s hanging out just sitting outside my door mid afternoon, seemingly waiting for my dog. Extremely odd.

[@michaelwhaley3063]

Jess D. They do sound alarming aye. So many cute looking marsupials have evil vocalisations. It's a puzzle as to wtf?

[@gregmac8268]

I once watched, from my desk at home, a Koala climb a wire fence, to get to a tree that it's leaves it could not eat, fall off the fence multiple times, finally get over the fence, only to realise it could not eat the leaves. It proceeded to climb back over the fence, eventually getting over it, only to look back at the tree again and think, yum, I can eat those leaves and attempt to climb the fence again... It did this 3 times over the span of a few hours. The are dumb, noisy, still filled grunters. The noise they make is also disturbing.

[@joshuaashton1929]

Wow

[@JodeSpoderman]

Hearing it fall would make me laugh

[@atlanciaza]

I agree, they only thing that beats their noise is leaf blowers. People who buy and use leaf blowers deserve a special place in hell!

[@chitlitlah]

Man, you're making me wish I lived in Australia. You have all these weird marsupials and all we get are mangy-looking possums coming in through the doggy door and chilling out on the stove.

[@sandifeola9385]

they have no business making the noise they do.

[@eirikeiken]

I think the ocean sun fish deserves an honorable mention.

[@cuddlepaws4423]

We watched a documentary about deep ocean fish and the Sun Fish is not really stupid. It's design is bizarre but it means it can go down very deep in the ocean and when it's termperature drops it surfaces and basks to bring its termperature back up. A neat bit of evolution.

[@InventorZahran]

I can't help but notice how almost all the animals you showed doing "stupid" things were either domesticated, interacting with a human-made object, or both. I doubt that they would seem so stupid in their natural habitat...

[@grandetaco4416]

Watched a video of guy saving koalas from the fire a few years ago. One of the Koalas, the guy gave a bottle of water. At first the animal was like, I don't want that, but then it realized it was a lot more water than it gets from eucalyptus tree and almost snatched the bottle out of the guy's hand. Maybe that was a genius Koala, should have bred that one.

[@shakeelali20]

As any Aussie that's ever held or been near a koala will tell you, they're aggressive, noisy, stink like shit, and above all too stupid to really exist. HOWEVER, they're our cute little fuzzy idiots and they deserve to live just as much as we do. At this point they probably will go extinct in our lifetimes thanks to simple corporate greed and Government inaction.

[@RipRLeeErmey]

That was Koala Einstein

[@scottgardinier3155]

Koalas die if they drink water like that. They issued a big warning to people trying to help during the massive fire. They were killing them by accident.

[@squirlmy]

@@scottgardinier3155 ah, humans! We value our ability to interfere, more than actually coming up with effective solutions. While firmly believing in man-made global warming, I'm suspicious of "green" charities for this reason. Good intentions.... and all that.

[@Validole]

@@scottgardinier3155 oof.

[@Chrismas815]

I was really hoping this would be 21 minutes of Joe laughing at AFV style animal videos. I guess cool nerdy science stuff works too 😂

[@Vikanuck]

I love Joe but that was just cringe lol 😄

[@JOSWAY787]

This is very basic info… If you think This is nerdy science stuff I feel bad for you…

[@JohnLaMagna]

Lol I was singing the AFV theme song in my head during the whole intro 😂

[@easyethanol6611]

Lol that's funny AF to think about

[@sebastienboisvert8561]

Maybe on his other channel. Please Joe

[@fightslikesquattingdinosau5870]

Wild turkeys are actually insanely smart and elusive. Domestic turkeys are so poorly bred in the US that it's pretty standard here to have half or more of the chicks come out with serious defects, especially in the feet.

[@LITRband]

3:43 the human appendix has two main uses in modern humans, aimed around gut health; it's just that unlike most other organs you can survive without it, and that the uses aren't super obvious so aren't well known. Firstly, it is the organ that creates the highest amount of serotonin in your body, which is used by the gut to regulate gut health. Secondly, it acts like an 'ark' for good gut bacteria in the case of a catastrophe (in modern humans, most commonly caused by antibiotics), to allow your microbiome to replenish the good bacteria quickly. When you remove your appendix, the level of serotonin available to you drops a ton, and your recovery time from antibiotics etc. extends significantly. As serotonin is so essential to the gut, some of what would have been used for mental health regulation is then used instead in the gut - this means that if you have your appendix removed, you are far more likely to develop depression, and if you already HAVE depression it's far more likely to worsen. Further, in relation to probiotics, research has previously assumed that the good gut bacteria in the probiotics get lodged in the gut, but more recent research on people without appendices has found that actually the good gut bacteria in probiotics boost the health of the good gut bacteria you already have, but largely themselves don't survive - you can therefore make it easier for what good bacteria survived to grow, but you can't replace what is lost. As such, when you don't have an appendix, you should only take antibiotics if you absolutely have to, and it should immediately be followed by an extended period of eating probiotic food, rather than the short courses most people use (if they eat probiotic food at all).

[@TheSolidFantasy7]

Sloths might deserve a little more credit. They really found an intricate niche in survival. The slowness and every bit under that still works in there favor. It's just a rare way to evolve compared to other surrounding animals.

[@Pushing_Pixels]

If you are a medium sized mammal and your top predator is a bird you're doing something wrong.

[@Kaiserboo1871]

Sloths, Pandas, and Koalas. The “How the Hell are you not extinct” triumvirate.

[@royk7712]

It move so slow, it render it invisible - drax

[@aravpanwar2431]

total opposite of "do not pray for easy times but to be stronger men" but a bear in this case.

[@TheNelly77]

@@Pushing_Pixels idk about that as a measuring stick 😂 for one, a harpy eagle could take YOU down if it had a notion. Also, predatory birds are often behind the "disappearance" of pet cats and dogs, so there's that.

[@bentbliley]

my partner's mother works at a meat packing plant and has worked with animals in the past as a vet. she once told us about this time someone at a farm was working on some welding by some turkeys and they all gathered around and just stared directly at the sparks and all went blind. and some of them did actually drown when a sprinkler went off in their coup.

[@markzambelli]

So she got so annoyed saving animals she moved to the dark side and seeks constant revenge?

[@mitchellminer9597]

My dad was told to avoid flying his ultralight over the turkey farms as the birds would all try to hide in a big pile, and suffocate.

[@bentbliley]

@@markzambelli i believe it's more security work. like, she has an office but that's as far as my knowledge goes

[@markzambelli]

@@bentbliley Oh, I was kind-of imagining her with sleeves rolled up, choking the life out of the poor things, staring into their eyes as she dispatched yet another dozen cattle whispering _"go_ _to_ _sleep"_ 😈😉

[@lukastemberger]

This almost happened to me when I was a kid. My dad stopped me from staring at sparks, but I wanted to do it so badly. The less intelligent animals are, the more we should take care of them. Just like we don't get rid of disabled people and children. If there are people that need help and taking care of, we'll take more care of them, not less.

[@nrgbunni.]

Fun fact ostriches are in the ratite family which includes ostriches, emus, kiwi birds, cassowaries and rhea. In this video when they were talking about ostriches they accidentally added some photos of rhea in there too which is a different species. A popular youtuber i watch the urban rescue ranch has ostriches, emus and rhea, one of those rhea is named kevin and he attacks ben all the time.

[@Mikael-jt1hk]

who tf is ''they''?

[@LordFalconsword]

I like the one with the two aliens looking at each other talking about why we're so stupid. "They harnessed the atom and instead of using it they're burning fossil fuels and trying to use wind."

[@RED5AND]

The Early bird gets the worm but the second mouse Attains the cheese

[@neva_nyx]

It would be good to be a late worm 😅

[@SaintPhoenixx]

The early worm gets eaten by a smug bird.

[@Kabup2]

So, second worm and second mouse wins! Don't get early.

[@lothre]

@@Kabup2 Stealing this as my new life mantra. thank you

[@joescott]

As a very non-morning person, I support this.

[@DirtScraps]

I’ve given a very similar rant about pandas before. It surprises people when they hear how passionate I am about not bothering with them anymore since I’m a HUGE animal lover. 😅

[@PrimateProductions]

I have done the same but in regards to koalas instead! I too love animals and am a biologist and there are quite a few people out there on the internet who surprisingly, can become very upset and outraged when one posts a few very true facts about koalas!😊

[@Sibyle79]

Clearly, the pandas and koalas don't want to live.

[@classic.cameras]

I love bears, I collect them at thrift stores. My wife shows me a plastic panda. Nope. Don't want that thing. I hate pandas.

[@ailsaphinoir5130]

I completely agree.

[@ligase75]

Pandas could be used as a carbon sink for the planet. Bamboo grows really fast and the manure they'd produce could be used to grow food. Or at the very least mimic their metabolic processes to break down bamboo.

[@black5f]

I have been to China many times for business and I went to a zoo and there were Pandas. A big fat Panda was being fed. It laid on it's back, ate everything within reach, then just stopped? It wasn't going to get up, move, even stretch? Two Chinese keepers swept, yes swept ... with brooms... more bamboo to within it's reach, where upon it started eating again. They are doomed. But you should also do a vid on survivors? I think the British Mr Brock, the badger is worth a mention, a remarkable creature. It is currently the subject of a cull as a blame for the spread of TB. Which maybe true .. or not. The badger is remarkable creature, we get them in our garden. They are the last of the mega fauna? Imagine having a mammoth in your back garden or a masterdom? Now go back nearly another 1 million years, before humans, and the same Mr Brock was in his set, doing what he does, same as today.

[@ModestMang]

I highly enjoyed the unfiltered aspect of this episode! Great one!

[@joz6683]

The ostrich defence system might be an evolutionary hangover from when they were small forest birds. They could hide in the undergrowth and not be seen. however, they are now a 3 meter tall bird living in Savannah, and the defence mechanism remained.

[@laniengelbrecht5081]

Ostriches have large eyes - they lay their heads on the ground to protect their eyes

[@Kabup2]

They did have time to adapt. If they don't, they're dumb.

[@lucashouse9117]

Apparently evolution didn't help its brain. Lol

[@freelunatwo]

A defensive strategy that did not scale up.

[@grandetaco4416]

Ever try to feed an ostrich? That should be their defense system.

[@zachcrawford5]

I was going to defend the turkey because the wild turkeys around here actually do pretty well and even healthy domesticated turkey is no joke. They are smart and powerful enough to ruin your day if you piss them off (and they are alien enough that it can be hard to tell what is going to piss them off). I've hear mailmen say that they are generally more nervous around turkeys than dogs.

[@StevenBanks123]

Amen. If turkeys, not the umpteenth butterball generations descended from all jailbird turkeys, but actual wild turkeys- were dumb, they wouldn’t be all over the place in Mendocino County flourishing very nicely on their own without a factory stuffing (sic) semi-edible gruel down their throats.

[@xeni_ag]

Koalas sound like extremely depressed animals xd They just sleep all they, don’t bother when the rain comes and sit in the middle of the forestfire like ”this is fine”. I think I found myself a new spirit animal

[@christinecalo5645]

This has to be one of your funniest episodes, I keep coming back to it for laughs 😆so good!

[@OlyChickenGuy]

The opening of this video reminded me very, very much of ZeFrank's True Facts series. EDIT: I will sit here and defend turkeys to the day I die. I had a pet turkey, and he was VERY aware of my emotions and would climb into my lap whenever I was feeling down, and wrap his neck around my neck and gently "purr" while draping his wings around me. More than that, I put a harness and leash on him and taught him to walk with me to keep him well exercised, as well as taught him to ride my bike with me, and with the bike he learned "left", "right", "stop" and a few other commands to help him brace and lean with the bike. I used these bike commands to help him walk with me and it took him only three days to figure out our walking route and not need any prompting of which direction to turn, and when I decided to test him and took our walk in the opposite direction... he got it perfect on the first day. After that, I'd start our walks with either "left" or "right", and he'd take the correct route each time.

[@Brett_S_420]

Maybe they are just dumb when penned up or in large groups. Hunters say they one of the hardest animals to hunt based on crafty-ness at realizing you are trying to kill them and then escaping. I have only known one. He was penned up from a hatchling and was dumb as rocks. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@jamieblack3235]

I have one now I'm training as a pet. Shes figured out what the bag that has her treats looks and sounds like.

[@OlyChickenGuy]

@@jamieblack3235 In my opinion, given the chance to score their intelligence, tourneys have been done off the smartest birds I've worked with, and Loren (my turkey, a heritage bronze tom) was by far one of the smartest birds in my flock. He loved being given challenges to overcome and was so very proud of himself when he got praise for figuring out new things.

[@CRneu]

when you fulfill an animal's hierarchy of needs their personalities can come out. it creates an interesting question of what is intelligence. A feral human will be "stupid" in regards to a human that was raised with all their needs met. The same can be said for a lot of animals.

[@OlyChickenGuy]

@@CRneu That is a very good way of putting it! Not sure I've made that connection before, but it is very true.

[@skraaaaz]

Imagining aliens out there ranking us as the dumbest species aswell.

[@user-lv7ph7hs7l]

Relating to your name we haven't nuked ourselves into extinction yet, soon a century after making the bombs. I'm sure there's species out there that nuked themselves quicker. We also got lucky. Say the axis developed the bomb around the same time, we probably would have. So we got lucky the war didn't break out later when nuclear physics was better understood. Uranium fission had just been discovered in December 1938 by Lise Meitner and Otto Frisch. And ONLY 7 years later we had two different types of working bombs and three ways to enrich fuel and two ways to make artificial plutonium. Again let's emphasize that. 6 years and 7 months from uranium fission being discovered to Trinity detonating in Nevada. And 10 years until both sides had the bomb and another 4 before the first H-bombs started going off. If this technological pace is typical, then we can easily see on average civilisations would have stockpiles by the time a war breaks out. Unless the weapon is precisely developed at the end of a war, is used in a limited way and scares the species into not using them again. If each side had 300 bombs before the war started it might have ended very differently. So it's hard to say if we passed that great filter (for now) by luck or intelligence. Regardless we're still here and made it most of the way to interplanetary colonisation after which extinction drops off in likelihood.

[@jimdennis2451]

We were given everything and have proceeded to destroy it all.

[@rgw5991]

we are the dumbest species

[@NomadHokie]

Amen on the pandas. Wish more people knew this about them. Cute? Yes. Do I want them around? Also, yes. Is it a manipulated miracle that they still exist? Yes.

[@timd3469]

I'm surprised we weren't top of the list. We have the capacity to know when things are dumb or even evil, and we often just do them anyway.

[@WorldOfEnchantment44]

I have an ostrich. Every day I have to show him where his food bowl is. Like it’s the first time. Every. Single. Day.

[@CalgarGTX]

I agree so much about pandas, just braindead vegetarian bears. Not mentioned in the video is that they also really like to climb trees, and then don't know how to get back down. They only get down when they pass out from starvation and if they are lucky they weren't high enough for the fall to kill them. Boggles the mind they somehow evolved to what they are now and didn't disappear in the process.

[@oilersridersbluejays]

Sounds like vegetarian humans.

[@eugenetswong]

I would think that the stupidest ones would die first, but they fooled me.

[@joatanpereira4272]

they would disappear if it wasn't for humans

[@danekender5332]

Humanity is the evil in this world... Humanity should disappear and let Earth recover......m

[@uku4171]

​@@oilersridersbluejays how?

[@jerelull9629]

You missed Beagles (dogs). Saw a show where a dog trainer said they were SO dumb that the bench he was sitting on was more trainable. Cute and affectionate, but don't try to teach them anything they don't instinctively know.

[@JodysGems4]

That was a hilarious episode joe...thank you for the laughs today 🤣

[@scienceface8884]

I feel like it's cheating to pick on any of the domesticated animals. Like you said, we did that to them. But you're spot on about the pandas: They're an entire species that figured out that it could live on nothing but candy and they're so married to that concept that they're willing to kill themselves and their own children in order to keep living that dream.

[@thefirm4606]

I know some people like that 😂😂😂

[@waynebimmel6784]

So they are... Boomers?

[@squirlmy]

@@waynebimmel6784 ooof! Rimshot! I'm sure Boomers would say that about Millennials. Actually many Millennials will say that about Millennials. I guess what's so hateful about koalas is that koalas resemble us so closely in that way. We just complicate the process with our "intelligence".

[@mikelouis9389]

I once was lucky enough to see a pair of wild Tom Turkeys fighting for dominance. Straight up velociraptor grade! Completely savage, intricate maneuvering and they used terrain features like pros!

[@StevenBanks123]

Wild turkeys rock.

[@vistabuntuu]

I did too! They got their necks wrapped around each other and kept spinning in circles while trying to kick each other with their talons 😳🤯

[@squirlmy]

@@StevenBanks123 Wild Turkey on the rocks ain't bad either. 😜

[@tippyc2]

i was probably about 16 when i saw the same thing. They were so focused on each other that i snuck up to about 10 feet away from them without them noticing, then jumped out at them from behind a car. The sound was like a small helicopter taking off.

[@starlakelsey2782]

@@vistabuntuu They are called spurs. Roosters have them too😁

[@Kayla3.0]

Your hatred of panda bears is not only amusing, but it's quite endearing LOL keep up the awesome work!

[@jennlizzy2019]

One of my favorite videos I have lately watched. Thank you for the laughs and info.😊

[@Dragrath1]

The issue with dismissing pandas is that what generally gets missed is that the reason pandas are in trouble is deforestation and habitat fragmentation. The breeding issues are notably a much more general problem with species that only exist in captivity which have dramatically lost population. The historical range of Pandas was huge spanning from Vietnam Miramar and the forested regions of china though notably if you account for ice age climate shifts they likely spanned through the greater Sunda forest domain which for context is Earth's oldest continuous forest environment. Remember that bamboo is a tricky plant to live off of as a food source since bamboo form vast many kilometer sized colonies which live for around a century or so before blooming and going to seed exactly once before the entire colony dies. Because of this Pandas have evolved to have huge territories far larger than any of the remaining forest fragments left. Frankly regarding the various animals that "don't want to breed" its not that most of these animals don't want to breed but that they don't want to breed in captivity with the partners that conservationists choose to maximize the remaining genetic diversity from the various relic sub populations which makes sense when you recognize that those sub populations were not homogenous and often adapted for different environmental conditions. The equivalent to a human would be taking two random humans of opposite biological sex from Africa and South America respectively locking them in a room and demanding they breed. In this larger picture its pretty clear that many of the claims of animal incompetence are made from the bias of captive breeding programs and thus in many cases their behavior isn't really natural behavior. We forget that intelligence comes with drawbacks which mean its particularly generally disadvantageous in species which are solitary and herbivorous because plants are extremely difficult to digest read almost entirely impossible for most animals to digest thus they depend on raising gut microbes to digest their food for them. The Gut and the brain are individually the most energetically expensive kinds of tissues and animals have a finite metabolic budget, where by budget I mean the share of energy which gets used right away rather than stored as the alternative would mean having very little wiggle room for missing a meal. In this sense you really can't have both a big gut and a large brain unless you opt for the way of the Shrew and eat constantly less you starve to death for going hungry for around an hour to feed the many expensive evolutionary adaptations for hunting shrews have. This in a general sense leads to big brains being reserved for highly social animals and or carnivores/omnivores which have to work harder to acquire food. The problem with this ultimately is that Pandas are doomed because the vast totality of their habitat has been destroyed by humans a trend which in larger historical context can be seen to be far more general among large mammalian megafauna in Eurasia. If you want to save the giant panda the only possibility would be to allow much of that land deforested for agriculture and urbanization to return to its natural state which is probably a non option. Wild turkeys are not stupid that is something seen in domesticated poultry birds. Wild turkeys are actually pretty intimidating animals. Yes Kolas are dumb but what would you expect they fill an otherwise vacant niche of Eucalyptus seeing as nothing really eats them because they are toxic and extremely incendiary. The why they don't run from fires is a trickier one but it probably comes down to the extreme changes in wild fire frequency and intensity and range truncation making the repopulate from outside the affected region strategy no longer work. After all they wouldn't be able to get to safety from a fire anyway....

[@marioguti9887]

That was really informative, thanks 👏

[@-yume-nikki-]

I learned a lot reading this as well! Thank you.

[@GreenBlueWalkthrough]

Thanks and about Kolas how they "run" from fire could be just staying a kola per tree and having a vast aera.

[@jeffbenton6183]

Me raised by my conservationist mother: "We must save the endangered species!" Me binge-watching TierZoo (and now Joe Scott, apparently): "This build is low-tier trash, players need to stop specing into it."

[@evanthesquirrel]

Where I live there are many wild turkey around. My wife and I have observed them a lot. They seem to communicate with each other via semaphore, ground scraping, and vocalizing. The biggest toms form a perimeter around the hens and smaller males and guide them through grazing areas with their feather motions. They alert each other of danger and when chased they run around trees and swap out with each other to replenish stamina and keep the hens safe. All the while the chicks are out with one or two hens in tall grass as she guides them. The hens take turns doing this each day. They have societies and jobs and know exactly where to perch at night to shit on my moms front steps. They even respect their elders. There was one old gouty grey bird we called "King Turkey." He often had an entourage of younger males who protected him.

[@wilkaii]

Koalas can run or "gallop" when they need to, they are generally slow but can get a move on when need be! Excellent video man!

[@gingerbeardyguy]

"five beers short of a six pack" had me laughing entirely too hard for a Monday. Thank you @joescott

[@ginnybourne6374]

I had to check I wasn't watching ZeFrank at the start of this. Excellent stuff, had me giggling

[@The_Viscount]

Interesting study of T-Rex I recall looked into their tiny arms. Investigation of numerous skeletons reveals T-Rex bite marks on other T-Rex's and some full amputations of arms. The conclusion that the paper came to is that T-Rex had a tendency to enter a feeding frenzy and could end up biting the arms off of other T-Rexes around them. Smaller arms were less likely to be bitten off. Given the deadliness of not just blood loss, but infection, and it quickly makes sense. The ones with smaller arms didn't get them bitten off and die of infection.

[@AceSpadeThePikachu]

I think the appeal of the Venus sketch is "planets as people." A lot of big KZbinrs base their whole careers on making videos about "what if objects/concepts/genres were people" and they're a lot of fun and that sketch of yours hit all the best beats of that type of video. Though i predict the "weirdest reproductive organs" one is going to wing because it is a comedy MASTERPIECE. I have watched that sketch multiple times already and I bust my gut every single time.

[@W4rfire]

Something I noticed from the clips at the beginning: Each of the animal fail videos, except for the dog falling in the river, is actually showing us how an animal has problems with human-build structures and objects which are simply not at all designed for them / do not match with what they would be used to in the wild. So maybe its not the animals being stupid. And the dog meanwhile is in itself a human creation.

[@Nanno00]

The turkey thing is so accurate. There is a flock of now 12 (was more like 20) that live in the woods around my house. I am constantly having to stop my car in the road to chase them off the road so they don’t die. And koalas. My pug sleeps 18-20 hours per day too!!! Lol

[@RealBradMiller]

Strange, the turkeys near my house would always fly over vehicles and people walking in the road. They wouldn't even step foot on the asphalt!! Hopefully they teach other turkeys the trick! 😋

[@sirtra]

Oh there's still 20 of em... those 12 are just playing decoy whilst the other 8 are up to something sneaky 🤫

[@RealBradMiller]

@@sirtra wild turkeys do always seem to be plotting something. Just like bunnies always look like they are about to say something.🧐

[@Nylak-Otter]

My local wild turkeys hang out in the road, wait for you to get out of your vehicle, and then viciously attack you. When you get back in your car in horror, they circle around the car menacingly and peck at it while screaming. Fuck turkeys.

[@floridanews8786]

Poor guy is depressed, better take him for more walks 😎

[@sharono3299]

The face you made after saying that koalas have chlamydia is priceless. I want that on the shirt.😂

[@jareds8729]

this is my favorite vid from Joe, the slip n falls and jokes all top notch! thanks for the laughs

[@rexredmonwalkingintheword9892]

There's a reason that there's always been a saying that goes "ignorance is bliss"and that is why the face of a koala or a panda or for that matter of a sloth is just so peaceful

[@susansaoirse2797]

My dad worked at a turkey farm in Northern California as a teenager in the early 50's. The drowning in the rain might be a myth, but was believed enough that turning down their heads until they could be brought in from the rain was part of his job. To bring them in they were pushed through a flap into a coup connected to the barn, but the opening into the barn also had a flap, so it was somebody else's job to pull them into the barn because they didn't understand they could go through on their own and would get bunched up against it no matter how crowded that coup got. That's turkey's in captivity. Wild turkeys are different story.

[@PlanetEarth3141]

Dear Susan the otherwise falsely named, celebrity infatuated Youboober, turkey drowning is not a myth. It's a fact. Unlike grabbing on to someone temporarily popular due to her albino skin coloring and old world, medieval speech like you do with her name. I've seen turkeys actually drowning that way. I'm fairly sure it could happen to you. 😢 BTW, if you're father witnessed it how do you think it's a myth? How do you think wild Turkeys are smarter. Their is no example of that I recall in any animal species. You must spend your life making in Panda school.

[@eekee6034]

The issue with looking up is a genetic disorder. It's truly sad what domestication has done to some animals.

[@danekender5332]

Humanity is a disease, a disease that walks this Earth...........

[@kyleshaw4954]

Brother! You’re BEST intro yet! I’m still chucking. Haaaaa! Thanks for that and the countless, “science for dummies” lessons over the years. You’re a keeper!

[@adfaklsdjf]

the venus sketch was just well executed.. the human infection was unexpected and kinda hits home.. and when earth asks if it's hot in here really seals the deal.. i laughed out loud

[@AnonymousFreakYT]

The turkey "raining state up until they drown" is absolutely true. My wife's family are midwestern farmers. One cousin became an Air Force pilot and decided to buzz the family farm. The turkeys all looked up to see what the noise was - and just kept looking up. Something like 1/2 of them died from *looking up and drowning in rain.*

[@the11382]

Drowning in rain, how does that work?

[@AnonymousFreakYT]

@@the11382 Look up, open mouth, breathe, don’t look down to drain water.

[@johnbennett1465]

This trait is only true of domesticated turkeys. Wild ones are actually reasonable smart.

[@sandraoxford883]

Loved the laugh at the beginning, made me laugh too and I love your videos. You have great humour and I always learn something new 😊

[@lord6617]

We have yet to prove that intelligence is something that, ultimately, selects for survival. If emotions and psychology are inherent components of intelligence, then intelligence has a built in means of self destruction which it has to outgrow prior to that self destruction.

[@tteokbokkibxtch]

I love kākāpō! They're like fluffy little rodents except they're birds. So cute and clumsy.

[@MrTwiggy73]

Another thing about turkeys: some scientist did an experiment where he kept cutting of parts of a turkey to see at what point the male turkey would no longer be attracted to it, and it turns out just the head alone is enough. After some conditioning, even a wooden ball on a stick did the trick.

[@gbreslin6635]

Listening to the lifestyle of the Koala and the supposed reasons for it was like watching the episode of The Simpsons visiting Australia - or listening to someone explain a subject that you actually know a lot about. It makes you wonder how many others know what they're talking about :) I know there is humour in this :) One thing to note is that all these animals are still with us and you have pointed that out in various ways. We see the Koala. They just mind their own business. The Koala reached a shortage of their own sort of housing long before the cities of the US, Australia and various other places did, not because it didn't exist, but because our circuitous brains don't care.

[@NocturnalDoom]

4:10 you should do a new video on the appendix and why it actually isn’t useless and helps regulate our internal biome.

[@huyked]

0:55 Oh my god, you had me laughing along so much toward the end of the intro narration. 3:42 Woo, wooo, woo! The human appendix is useful for recolonizing the microbiome in our intestines when we have a bad case of diarrhea.

[@kevinmcqueenie7420]

I just really hope to live long enough for the dolphins to collectively say “so long and thanks for all the fish”

[@darkithnamgedrf9495]

Bro dolphins are lowkey kinda evil lol

[@GreenBlueWalkthrough]

@@darkithnamgedrf9495 To sea life yes but to humans we are somehow best friends.

[@333arianna]

off topic, but i’ve been following you for quite a while now, and i gotta say i love what you’ve done with the room!

[@colleenwilliams1689]

I have turkeys in my neighborhood and one of them attacked a car because he saw his reflection. Honestly I don't think I've ever even found my reflection in a car so that seems smart to me! Also there is an episode of Nature about a man who raised some turkeys. They have tons of instinct. They can identify different kinds of snakes (at least venomous versus non-venomous). In the winter I used to throw snowballs because they would go investigate the snowball and reminded me of dogs fetching a ball. But I stopped because I was probably wasting their energy and distracting them. They do seem very dumb but I love them.

[@Nylak-Otter]

Yeah, I grew up with wild turkeys constantly attacking my truck. It wasn't because they saw their reflections; it was because the truck was noisy, moving, and in their territory. Everytime I tried to get out of said truck, they'd proceed to attack me instead.

[@MarylandFarmer.]

Your energy for ragging on pandas was perfect. I don't know why we're trying so hard when they clearly don't want to exist anymore. Also turkeys have been known to pack into tight spaces and suffocate themselves, so the larger the flock the more open the space.

[@Kabup2]

Yeah, pandas are dumb.

[@chuckplainview4085]

"they clearly don't want to exist anymore" 😂😂😂😂

[@jeffk464]

So what happens if you feed Pandas grubs, berries, and some meat, you know like other bears. Also, maybe they aren't picking the best Pandas to breed.

[@RealElongatedMuskrat]

listen, they're here doing the absolute bare minimum (... bear minimum?). And I resonate with that. We're vibing on the same level.

[@PrimateProductions]

​@@Kabup2 not as dumb as KOALAS!!😊

[@ahkarivae]

i was having a bad day but you unexpectadly laughing at animals failing was very infectious and now i am no longer angry. thank you good sir

[@Syritis]

What about the Ocean Sunfish? they're also slow, have no defense mechanism and only survive by having hundreds of thousands of offspring

[@dyscotopia]

The kitten I have was aware of object permanence when I got him at 9 weeks. He's 16 weeks and now can play soccer. So he not only outsmarts an ostrich, but an infant. Pretty sure he could take down either.

[@cadenz7719]

The ostrich sticking in the ground theory is to rotate their eggs that they lay underground. The laying down on the ground to blend into the environment is a true thing however. It’s used as a last ditch defense, several animals like rabbits and other birds use this strategy as well.

[@GreenBlueWalkthrough]

Human do to in moder warfare... Like the first thing a modern solider does when under fire is assume cover even if it's like laying down.

[@danielhale1]

I'm told Pandas in nature actually rummage for roots and other foods to supplement their diet, and thus part of the reason they struggle so much to get it on in captivity is because they're malnourished (bamboo does not supply nearly enough). I wonder if that's true.

[@Ice_Karma]

I doubt it -- the birth rate among wild pandas is just as low. Besides, if they _knew_ their captive pandas were malnourished... why would they not fix that??

[@danielhale1]

@@Ice_Karma I doubt it'd ever happen out of intent/neglect. It can sometimes be hard to know when an animal is malnourished, especially when that animal is as dumb as a panda ("I think he's brain damaged from a vitamin deficiency" "How can you tell it's brain damage?" "lol just hoping that's all it is"). But yea, if getting them to get it on was as simple as injecting a panda with a multivitamin serum and a gallon of horse testosterone, China would have done it by now. :D

[@JonMartinYXD]

Pandas in captivity are fed more than bamboo. They enjoy a much better diet than wild pandas, yet are still useless at reproducing.

[@Xelosele]

Zoo keepers do feed them mixtures of vegetables for nutrients, but their primary diet is different kinds of bamboo. Even in nature, pandas just have low birth rate cuz they’re in heat for only a max of like two days a year.

[@B4dlands]

The sarcasm in this one is brilliant Joe!

[@metricstormtrooper]

You forgot to put humans at the top of the list.

[@christophermitchell7001]

Thank you, for years I have been saying that pandas are basically begging us to eat them. God has naturally selected them to be our food, they willingly sit around all day and only eat grass. A panda steak would be amazing. But seriously, I do find it funny( as you had started to state at the start of this video) that people raise all the issues with eating or killing things like a whale or a psychopathic dolphin but have anyone raise an eyebrow at eating something like an octopus or a squid or a cuttlefish and they're looked at as if they're crazy. I really do think it boils down to people thinking dolphins are cute but are in some way disgusted by the Eldritch horror that an octopus represents. Which really is not a commentary on the morality or ethics of consuming an animal rather it is a slap in the face showing just how petty humans can be.

[@myscreen2urs]

Yes yes! If we start farming pandas for human consumption, we could save them from the brink of extinction and reduce world famine. Did Joe say they're supposed to be carnivores? 🤔 Better not let them get too strong🙃

[@aimeem]

It seems like koalas would taste nasty and possibly be toxic. Eucalyptus-flavored meat, yuck.

[@zerothis23]

It is something that I am aware of when I eat squid and octopus. If dolphin meat tastes good I'd get over it just as well.

[@christophermitchell7001]

@@zerothis23 Honestly If they were really that smart to begin with then those tuna nets shouldn't have been a problem.

[@gracew8548]

I am so grateful for nebula and curiosity combo I did. Cheap and my favorite type of shows! Especially with everything feeling so expensive I’m glad I did it. I didn’t see it in your description so idk if you’re still benefiting but just wanted to say thanks! Especially sick in bed today makes me excited to binge your content :)

[@idontwantahandlethough]

argh matey, hope ya feel better soon

[@joescott]

Awe, feel better!

[@The_ScapeGoat]

We value intelligence because it's linked to self awareness, which is required for suffering. It's not narcissistic to feel more for creatures who can feel more.

[@heather173]

Joe, all birds are smart- I have so many tiny feathered friends- a canary who knows his name and to come back to his cage when I call him- I point, he goes. Chickens who can count- knowing exactly who in their flock is missing...birds are just intelligent.

[@napninja13]

I was hoping you would make a murder joke when taking about the corvids (I know it's technically crows whose group is called a murder, but still would've been funny lol)

[@grantflippin7808]

Murder investigation

[@squirlmy]

I'm wondering if that isn't the source of the name. Crows are most often found in groups when gathered around one of their deceased brethren. Makes sense, right?

[@eybimey9630]

Alular (wing/wrist) claws on modern birds are not entirely uncommon, but the original study from 1984 suggests only 15 to 20% of owl juveniles have them. They are entirely vestigial. Young geese also tend to have vestigial alular claws, and they've been found on everything from the Kea parrot to black vultures. If you want *active* claws used for climbing and nest scraping, check out the Hoatzin and the African Finfoot. Dinosaurs have certainly survived.

[@bledlbledlbledl]

9:36 that's true. I live in an area where there are lots of WILD turkeys and they are VERY wary and cautious. I've walked under tall trees they were resting in and before I even got close enough to see them they'd take off for another tree

[@angiev8836]

I’ve never seen joe so angry in the many many videos of his I’ve watched than when talking about the panda

[@rayf8730]

Do you think the ostrich was the inspiration for Douglas Adams' "Ravenous Bug Blatter Beast of Traal"?

[@BunkMorelandsTie]

One way to test that theory is to try and steal their eggs whilst covering your head with a towel.

[@CraigTinson2015]

Excellent video.. as always... thanks Joe... I also wanted to say just how quickly I've kinda "forgotten" the new background? I know you put a lot of work into it and I don't want to undervalue that but it's a testament to the excellent work how quickly it seems to have just "blended in" to your style... excellent work mate!

[@petrlorenc7230]

I had no Idea your laughter is so contagious, thank you!

[@ethanpowell8687]

this is my favorite intro. thank you, Sir Scott.

[@adamjosey1543]

Absolutely hilarious episode. Well done, Joe.

[@rjjeffreys]

Great video, Joe! These animals are all 10 times smarter than my next door neighbor. I am amazed he can even remember how to put one foot in front of the other to get to his mailbox. He makes Koalas look like Stephen Hawking.

[@nosuchthing8]

You realize you have been looking in a giant mirror

[@PlanetEarth3141]

Insults are fun as Don Rickles and many have proved.

[@benimmink249]

Yeah... you definitely got the Kakapo correct... Pretty good pronunciation for one not familiar with the Maori language too!! Well done Joe!! Long time fan, please continue producing content!!

[@charlotteroke9586]

Sloths can also slow their heart rate, the problem being that sometimes they slow it so much it stops entirely and they die

[@commentingpausedtoprotectus]

I don’t know about Lemmings Joe, I’ve witnessed them working together to negotiate various landscapes, even man made objects. Some of them use tools and some even sacrifice themselves for the greater good to prevent their colleagues from falls etc.

[@audreymuzingo933]

Right but that's what ants and bees do, it's "hive mind" and kind of the epitome of low intelligence.

[@critiqueofthegothgf]

@@audreymuzingo933 it's not "low intelligence". bees are incredibly smart. it's simply a difference in concentration of intelligence. they are evolved to work as a whole, and not as individuals. just because you cant understand that, doesnt make them stupid

[@mosesgunn6937]

Well done. 😆

[@audreymuzingo933]

@@critiqueofthegothgf I'm a zoologist, I think I can understand a bit more than you want to tango with honey. But go on thinking "bees are incredibly smart". Cheers.

[@audreymuzingo933]

@Just Looking No you're thinking of my dad. One of the men he couldn't save had been bitten by a tiny green pit viper, and that among other stories of creepy crawlies in Vietnam and Cambodia played a big role in getting me interested in zoology.

[@keithwoodcrest]

This is my favorite video on this channel thus far. Love the level of sassiness paired with actual information. Great video, Joe!

[@peterhagen7258]

Joe; The Intro: Best laugh I've had since Nov 2021. Thanks

[@DBOSSU325]

New the titles get changed lol Love you joe

[@thedarkknight1971]

I VOTE THIS INTRO as ONE of the ALL TIME FUNNIEST!!!! I actually snorted my cup of tea! You got me choking and spluttering with the commentary and then the visuals!! Hahahaha YOU BUGGER! hahaha 👌👏👏👏 😎🇬🇧

[@WatchfulHunter]

Very impressed with your acting, directing and editing skills. Very professional. Flows like a good movie. Very enjoyable to watch. Thank you. Hollywood needs your skills.

[@benjaminmatheny6683]

Anteaters really should be on this list. really small brain to body size ratio. Also you can get really close before they will even understand that you are there. They also have that "one food" problem like the Koala and Panda. While the termites they eat are higher in caloric value, they have a much greater energy cost to gather. So they have the lower brain power to conserve energy.

[@BearBrews]

Regarding corvids, I feed Bluejays often & they weigh the peanuts before taking them. They pick the heaviest one. The fact that they have a concept of weight is amazing.

[@41-Haiku]

For the crow joke, I was expecting, "Was there a murder?" "Well, there is now!"