When Your Ex Finally Breaks!

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In this video, Coach Lee explores a critical moment in many relationship dynamics: "When Your Ex Finally Breaks!"
This analysis dives into the intricate psychological and emotional journey that an ex undergoes before they reach the point of wanting to come back to the relationship they once ended.
Coach Lee, with his extensive experience in relationship coaching, provides a comprehensive overview of the stages and internal conflicts that an ex faces during this transformative period.
Coach Lee begins by defining what he means by an ex "breaking." This term refers to the pivotal moment when an ex realizes they want to return to the relationship they left. It is a process marked by intense introspection and emotional upheaval, often catalyzed by a series of realizations and experiences that gradually shift their perspective. Coach Lee emphasizes that this breaking point is not merely about missing the other person but involves a profound change in their understanding of the relationship and their own feelings.
Stage 1: The Honeymoon of Freedom
The journey starts with what Coach Lee calls the "Relief Stage" or the "Honeymoon of Freedom." After a breakup, many individuals experience a sense of relief and newfound freedom. They no longer feel the constraints of the relationship and may initially relish their independence. During this phase, they often engage in activities and social interactions that they felt limited from before. However, Coach Lee points out that this phase is usually temporary. The excitement of freedom often wears off, and reality begins to set in.
Stage 2: The Reality Check
As the initial excitement fades, the ex enters the "Reality Check" phase. Here, they start to encounter the downsides of being single again. Loneliness, the absence of companionship, and the loss of shared routines begin to weigh on them. Coach Lee explains that this stage is crucial because it initiates the process of reflection. The ex starts to compare their current state with the past relationship, leading to the realization that the grass is not always greener on the other side.
Stage 3: Reflection and Regret
Following the Reality Check, the ex moves into a period of "Reflection and Regret." This phase is characterized by deep introspection and an honest assessment of their past actions and decisions. They begin to recognize the positive aspects of the relationship they ended and the role they played in its downfall.
Stage 4: The Emotional Rollercoaster
The next phase is the "Emotional Rollercoaster." During this time, the ex experiences a wide range of emotions, from sadness and regret to anger and confusion. They may go through periods of intense longing for their former partner, followed by doubts about whether reconciliation is possible or even desirable.
Stage 5: The Turning Point
The "Turning Point" is a critical juncture in the journey. It is the moment when the ex decides that they want to make amends and seek reconciliation. This decision is not made lightly; it comes after considerable soul-searching and a genuine desire to rebuild the relationship. Coach Lee notes that this phase requires courage and vulnerability, as the ex must confront their fears and take responsibility for their actions.
Stage 6: Planning the Return
Once the decision to reconcile is made, the ex enters the "Planning the Return" phase. Here, they strategize on how to approach their former partner and express their desire to reconnect. Coach Lee advises that this step should be handled with care and sensitivity. The ex must be prepared to communicate openly and honestly, acknowledging their mistakes and demonstrating a sincere commitment to making positive changes.
Stage 7: Reaching Out and Rebuilding Trust
The final phase involves "Reaching Out and Rebuilding Trust." When the ex reaches out to their former partner, they must be prepared for a range of responses. Coach Lee emphasizes the importance of patience and understanding during this stage. Rebuilding trust takes time and effort, and both parties must be willing to work together to heal past wounds and create a stronger, healthier relationship moving forward.
Conclusion: The Journey to Reconciliation
Coach Lee concludes the video by reiterating that the journey an ex takes to reach the breaking point is complex and multifaceted. It involves a series of emotional and psychological stages that lead to profound personal growth and transformation. He encourages viewers to understand and respect this process, whether they are the ones considering reconciliation or the ones being approached by an ex. By gaining insight into this journey, individuals can navigate the path to reconciliation with greater empathy and awareness.
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[@e-for8790]

All of you who are saying you don't want your ex back then why are you watching the video...😂😂

[@annruth7213]

Because emotions are complicated, and we love Coach Lee!

[@ClaudeMiller-mp7wu]

😂😂😂

[@welcometototalitarianism812]

Because we want them to want us back so we can reject them when they try to come back.

[@welcometototalitarianism812]

​@@annruth7213exactly. We are working through emotions and healing.

[@qamarpatterson5409]

😂😂😂😂

[@ericbellamy3518]

My ex reached out to me after a year and is realizing the grass was not greener on the other side.

[@julievornoe]

Did you take the person back

[@bronzedgold]

Wow it took a whole year for her to figure that out?

[@kellymaskellkel4898]

I hope mine does, eventually, it’s already been a year, and even though I don’t want him back - I’ve got things to say! 😂

[@Champman543]

Hopefully, you didn't take her back.

[@ericbellamy3518]

Well I was bitter cause after we were broke up within a month in a half we had closure she decided to tell me that she slept with her baby daddy while we were broke up. And I felt like she was trying to hurt me so I was petty and lied to her and said I cheated on her to get her back even though I didn't cheat. So recently she made a excuse to see me asking for a belonging of hers back and we talked briefly and I told her I didn't cheat and she kinda felt in the back of her mind that I didn't cheat and we decided to meet up one day soon and just talk. But the last few times she tries to see what I'm doing I'm always busy. I kinda afraid of getting back with her and missing out on someone better. I was mainly the reason we broke up from insecurities but I been healing and working on myself just enjoying the single life but at the same time I'm not getting any younger being 40 years old.

[@speedstreet704]

Coach Lee is the man my fiance and I split up for 7 months and 19 days I watched all of Coach Lee's videos I even paid to have personal coaching with him. Sure enough my ex came back we are now married and having our first child. I love you Coach Lee and I would love to send you an invite to our wedding celebration.

[@cryptoyo4863]

Did you make a smart decision? Will you get a prenup?

[@Freudster21]

@@cryptoyo4863Did she get an STD test and show you the results? How many men was she with in that 7 months? I would guess at least one and maybe more. Just saying be safe.

[@jehan9]

@@Freudster21not everyone sleeps around

[@saritaoftheopera]

Praying for the same thing it’s been almost 3 months for me and I miss my best friend so much

[@walkertranger5746]

You deserve better is exactly what she said…. My response : You’re damn right I do . Take care .

[@cooldad895hess8]

😂😂😂😂

[@darinkim2828]

Mine says that right now.. Omg

[@tankthearc9875]

its mostly thier cat lady frends tht tell them to stick wth the break up i can tell she wants to come back she even kissed me a few times

[@jamesjones7798]

​@@darinkim2828cause they cheating

[@jehan9]

Trust me. They ALL came back. I was dumped 2x (my fault) and even those 2 came back. The toxic ones like the chase, blocked on everything and will find a way to reach out to you. Listen to Coach Lee. No contact is for you. It's for your own healing. The first few weeks will be tough. Keep yourself busy. Journal. Workout. Cry if you need to. Talk to friends. Find a hobby. It will get better.

[@argeldolotina3823]

are you together again?

[@brandonmontemayor8178]

I don’t expect to hear from her ever again. Although she’s showing face a lot lately. 5 years together. Now we’re strangers. I deserved better but one day she will realize that she was loved unconditionally. Her loss. Hope she’s well.

[@asdfxcvbn746]

dont wish her well... tf wrong with you lol smh

[@sloanmagnum5009]

Never love unconditionally or you'll end up left and alone like you are now

[@bluecoffee8414]

​@@sloanmagnum5009Yes. unless it's your child, I am so NOT a fan of "unconditional love." especially in the romance arena.

[@mannyarbelo974]

If someone leaves you for what ever reason wish them the best and from that day on make an oath to yourself that you are not going to let your emotions be the best of you even if its a living hell, depending on your age you still have a lot of life to live and in order to make the best life you can for yourself you need to work hard on the things you want and be better for the ones who did stay in your life such as family and friends. Discover your passions and talents and get really good at them! See the amount of joy you have when you see yourself making progress on what you want. Yeah they left you but hey it’s up to you what your going to do with your life and no way in hell am I going to be the sad person who got dumped and can’t function in life. Just spreading love ❤️ you got this everyone :)

[@plunderersparadise]

Listen to Coach Lee, he is 100% right. My ex contacted me after 118 days, she was really kind/nice and sent me some pictures, asked about things. She left me with no money, self respect, no dog, and her family threatened me. I was at the very edge of many things. She said exactly what Coach Lee says. "Curious whether I am okay, what I do, how am I doing" and stuff. I'm amazed. I was polite and I'm now continuing my life. I feel happy, I feel better now. Much love for you, I know how it feels. It gets better after some time. It was 3 months for me to heal my hearth. The completion was when she reached out. I hope I will make the best decision. God bless you people! ❤

[@sloanmagnum5009]

You plan on moving on from her, right? The best decision would be to let her go

[@Rboy23]

@@sloanmagnum5009only he will know that buddy. Not you

[@bhagavathivijayabaskar3186]

Whenever I feel the urge to text my ex boyfriend or feel helpless, i immediately come and watch your videos even when I'm at work. I honestly feel great to know about your you tube channel. Hope I get my ex boyfriend back. He loved me very much. Thank you so much for making me not to break no contact. Please post more success stories in which dumpers go back to the dimpees.please

[@jonathan.l_yt]

These past 6 months have been the most interesting part of my life

[@ivangaspar8002]

type shii

[@ramz_1520]

Do tell, bro! 😅 I’m interested in the interesting part!

[@kagamitaiga9167]

Kinda

[@saras.2173]

How so?

[@carlaboyd7407]

Hang in there it ain’t over 😅

[@i.m.5050]

Thank you Coach Lee. Went on and stayed NC in a few weeks. Accidentally met my ex in the streets. We talked. He cried and told me how much he missed me, how he cant imagine life without me. I want him back. He wants me back. But both of us decided we’re not ready yet because of other priorities. We promised each other we’ll reconnect on a certain time. We’ll start over. I have fears but also has now peace of mind.

[@ECBSB2013]

I work with my ex.... so yeah NC was difficult, but because of my role. It was easy to have my team deal with her. it's been a year+. Therapy has changed my life immensely, I chose me, and I put myself first. I don't chase or beg people to stay in my life. Everyone who knows/works with her and sees how she looks now and changed. My ex did alot of these behaviors at the beginning of the break up. But I stood on business and kept to my boundaries. She saw me for the first time in many months, and my legal/field team all noticed she was heavily checking me out. I peacocked and did my thing in my cases. I know she misses me because the judge had me respond to her questions and the people who know me were wondering to see if I'd get nervous or falter...man I was so chill with it. We all noticed my ex had crinkled a smile and blushed. No contact works, I chose to move on and just put in the work. If she wants to come back. That's cool, I'm not going to reference a closed chapter, however I'm not going to fall for the same nonsense... plus I know my worth🤙🏾

[@sloanmagnum5009]

Theres a lot ot coping in your comment.

[@kenbear9290]

@@sloanmagnum5009what do you mean?

[@sloanmagnum5009]

@kenbear9290 that person is rationalizing against their own instinct and believing delusional fantasies that they're making up in order to convince them selves of something that isn't actually happening. All to make them selves feel better about a situation that is dire. They're coping

[@shammo4702]

My ex reached out after almost 4 months with a casual question. My replies were curt. Then after like a week or so, he wanted to meet. I turned him down. It hurts. But you know it in your heart that the pattern will repeat. So think and think HARD before you consider taking your ex back.

[@MDDR-io7nh]

Listen to this man! He is the G.O.A.T.

[@RealCoachLee]

Thank you very much for your kind words!

[@Isla612]

Please never stop making these videos. You are doing wonders. Thank you for your input!

[@RealCoachLee]

Thank you for such kind words.

[@Isla612]

@@RealCoachLee 🙏🙏

[@josueguzmanrodriguez1630]

EVERYBODY LISTEN COACH LEE. My ex Just reached out saying that she is sorry. Just 13 days of no contant. No begged at all. Just moved on with my life. Those were horrible 13 days for me. I missed her every second, but i stayed strong and she finally realized it was a mistake. Just need to be strong person and recover yourself by yourself and the universe Will do the rest.

[@johnsonwithat2322]

Just on the topic of how women surround themselves with friends that encourage them to stick with the break up. I 100% feel that's the case with my ex. Like I understand that friends want to be supportive, but unlike men (who think logically), women tend to influence hate. So I definitely feel that her friends influenced her choices more, despite not even meeting me.

[@Ivy89261]

I have the same problem. I never really talked to his friends but they all had bad girlfriends that left them und then they found a new one.i think he was like " well maybe i should try a new one too".....😢

[@sloanmagnum5009]

So you're saying your relationship was just fine and you both got along great and somewhere along her friends convinced her to break up with you out of nowhere?

[@johnsonwithat2322]

@sloanmagnum5009 No. I was saying during the break up, her friends would have definitely been there to convince her to stick with the break up.

[@DannyMartin3z]

My ex-girlfriend has a best friend who doesn’t like me. I’m the past my ex-girlfriend and her got into a big fight over her being with me. My ex broke up with me so I’m sure she’s helping her stick to that choice.

[@rickyrunks510]

​@@DannyMartin3z they may scissor from time to time. But really, a solid guy like you? Why would her friend fight her for being in a relationship with you for no reason?

[@franciscofeest6691]

my ex reached last friday after less than two weeks of no contact. I was polite but not very engaging (she started talking like we were good friends) and didn't consider that the relationship ended because she left with someone else. The next day I was blocked. NC is for arrogant people and they cannot handle their needs not being met. I assure you that she will come back after a few more days of NC. At this point I just want my peace and sanity.

[@cesarinfashion1]

OMG! I'm so glad you're letting your hair grow. The old old coach Lee is back. ❤️

[@johnk3845]

She finally responed to my text and did not want to see me because she was seeing someone else. I told her I was dating too and told her I just wanted to catch up. She offered to exhange stuff by leaving the garage open. I declined. A bunch of texts later about just all kinds of strange stuff. And her telling me she will never be treated like I treated her abut now she knows not be be taken for granted. And I taught her that. And that she is secure in the reasons she ended it. She said she missed her stuff and then I told her if she is in the neigborhood to stop by, I was not interested in delivery or going out with her as she is in a relationship and just to catch up. She passed and so will I. Some just are not meant to come back and its time for me to let that go. Thanks for the coaching session Lee it was a great help!

[@gotchamocha]

just give her stuff back and pick your stuff up, let it go.

[@ajfedz]

She broke up with you. What needs to be caught up? It's over.

[@rickyrunks510]

You absolutely didnt follow no coaches advice. You texted to see her. She said she didnt want to see you, she only wanted her stuff. You was an azzhole about it. You keep wanting to talk, about what?. You didnt let her "come to you", you was being cobtrolling, and sounded a bit scarey. She definitely should stay away from you for her safety

[@johnk3845]

@@rickyrunks510 I didn't know you were on my private call with coach lee?? LOL

[@Sarajb517]

If she is in a relationship she does not want to stop by your house to catch up. Just mail her the stuff or leave the garage door open..

[@funkinnick1]

Wow, watching this video really brought me back. This really works, Atleast for me. My ex and I are back together and she has been putting in a lot of work to gain my trust back.

[@debrafinney1789]

Thank you for the content Coach Lee. You coached me in these videos and saved my marriage. Well- we got married again 🥰 Remarried and almost two years since. I hope we never forget the pain we felt being apart. Thank you ❤️

[@RealCoachLee]

Debra, I’m thrilled for you! Would you please email me a bit about your story at [e-mail]? I would really like to speak with you.

[@BallhawkSports-d5x]

That is amazing. Congratulations !

[@christinevangilder6245]

Three years today of total liberation! No looking back.

[@derekmaestas8949]

It’s just over 50 days of NC. I work with her so sometimes it’s hard to stay strong, but I’m at a state of being happier and grateful for my life.

[@sheezbeez]

The first few months are brutal … I struggled with it severely for 6 months… started to feel relief at 9 months and then after that time, you genuinely get into a space where you don’t care anymore. Not in a bad way but because time heals your heart, your heart will not allow you remain in pain longer than a particular time. You will then be able to focus on your future knowing that there is abundance in the world (including an abundance of love). One person out of how many billion people should NOT cripple you. There is more out there. Wishing you well ❤

[@lionelt7882]

I’ve learned, when the ex breaks and comes back…don’t focus on the relationship. Just have fun with them, have amazing sex, and just keep it light. Remain focused on yourself. Talking about heavy shit too soon or being emotional, or talking about why you broke up…will push them away again. You want them to start associating you with good feelings again. I’m currently in this right now, and as the weeks go on…I notice her letting her guard down more and more, her being more responsive, her being more submissive…simply because I’m just focused on having fun and having great sex. No strings attached, not reaching out unless it’s to meet up, etc.

[@riazbacchus3962]

looks like someone has read the book 10-15 times

[@lionelt7882]

@@riazbacchus3962that book saves lives

[@tonycoronado2458]

I totally agree I think guys think this way more then women or therapists know, once a woman comes back and has been with someone else, I just look at them as sex objects,I'm just saying

[@taylorgordon4920]

I’m a take this advice bro cause my ex been hitting me up like krazy and watching my snap and she wanna go to lunch and to a hotel we both from Brooklyn hood luv you know lol so I’m a use this bro

[@MagicianPhysician]

Amen

[@hddwd8006]

It's an endless spiral of panicking, begging, waiting and hoping that will drain the dumpee , drive them crazy and exhaust there time and energy, when someone tell you that they don't want you anymore don't show any panic behavior just tell them " ok , you can do what's best for you" and start taking care of your own life, it's not worth all this suffering! The best is yet to come!

[@brj5624]

I didnt beg after the breakup, i was mature, no fighting, no insults. 3 weeks of NC and she reached out testing the waters with an "accidental" insta DM, the DM was about kisses and love. I know it was bait, so i only replied "are you ok?" , she said it was accident and sorry. And i ended with "its ok" and thats it. I wont fall for that though, i will continue to do NC until she reaches out for real. Its now been about a month and two weeks

[@allen9611]

The thing I learned the most from these helpful vids (and I’m sure coach lee will agree) is not to binge all these vids and cope the entire day. Yes watch a few for knowledge and what to do and not do, but don’t just watch one as soon as you feel breakup anxiety. The biggest point of no contact is to work on yourself during this time so whether they reach out or not you will still be A-OK.

[@briteidea08]

My ex reached out to me twice. First time was a week after she ended things. Guess she thought wishing me happy birthday was a good idea. Then silence and her blocking me on social media IG for a while. I couldn’t see anything between her and myself for a few months. Then over a year later I was driving home with a new woman. It was late and my phone lit up. It was my ex and she felt it necessary to inform me of her friend who was passing away. I waited 24 hours and finally responded. Didn’t offer her sympathy. Just a simple send my condolences to your friends family. She thank me. And I left it there.

[@asdfxcvbn746]

you should've ignored her. left it on read.

[@sloanmagnum5009]

Should've ignored her

[@lionelt7882]

I assume since you’re with someone else, you don’t care but I would’ve left her on read.

[@briteidea08]

@@lionelt7882 Yeah, I was with someone at the time. As far as my ex. Hind sight is always 20/20. Had a lot of mixed thoughts. She’s blocked now.

[@defiantenergy]

Death of a friend or family usually does this. Had it happened twice. It will especially happen if you were a solid person and their rock during tough times.

[@Nunaboubou]

Guys, it depends on the events that we have created that broke them down... Ex try to fix but if the partner is not keeping attention to several Red flags over time... We give them the breakup to reset specially if love and attraction still prevails... Time and space is extravaganza both partners to review the flaws and what should be worked on from each side. If they do not jump in a rebound relationship and really working on healing for a possible new kickoff together... Fading effect bias... There's no ego or pride going back to your ex specially if you have really invested in twisting down the relationship and you recognise and have self accountability of whatever you have done wrong ... If there was respect during the radio silent and they reach out for a mature meeting... You go for it... One day at a time... Take things easy and slowly build up your strong foundation... Love is hard to find specially your partner has vertus and compassion

[@SirenaSpades]

100% The dumper has told you what is wrong. If you ignore and then try to contact them without fixing these things, it's not going to do any good.

[@juliaeva23]

❤ I thank God for finding you. Thank you for reminding me my value and getting me through all this pain. My ex reached out. I did no contact several times and each time he reached out, but we did not get together, because he was not mature enough. As soon as he knew he could talk to me again, he was also going to another girl. He would consistently reach out and it looked like we were getting back together, but then he was also liking other girls' seductive posts. It happened several times with 2 other girls and I just couldn't stand the pain and disrespect and I just gave up. There seemed to be no remorse or regret. I think he just was coming back because of his ego, no other reason. He just wanted me to chase him. Its very painful. I also think he changed. I dont recognize him anymore. He changed into bad person. I think he is also dating another woman, who is divorced. I don't even want to know anymore.

[@Joeyborduas]

Im with you! I feel your pain I am going through similar situation you are valuable you are strong and you will get through this I am with you in spirit

[@booksofsunflower]

I got to know from my ex that he is seeing someone else and he admiting the new girl treating him good and make him happy. I dreamt about it a month ago and decided to ask him after almost 3months of NC. Haha serve me right but im glad tho and straight away changing my apple id so he cant reach me anymore as well deleting all our photos

[@eman-zb6py]

I'm recommending this guy to other people.

[@RealCoachLee]

That is such an honor! Thank you!

[@Tony-Rob-Wright_87]

I know first hand that no contact can and does work because it worked for me and trust me I really didn't think it would after a few weeks on taking that time to work on myself read things and educate myself my ex reached out and we txt for a while so every other day became every day and eventually when the subject of meeting up came up I was very direct in that I have no interest in friendship or a day date for coffee and would like to take her to dinner she accepted and Wer now moving forward so stay positive things can work out👍

[@Purkotant]

Im waiting for you or Ken to touch on the breakup makeup cycle, and no contact requested by the dumper. Im sure you have a lot to say and that many people would find that helpful. I love you coach Lee

[@sloanmagnum5009]

What do you mean?

[@lindapatterson9104]

It’s almost 3 years, we go out every now & then …..

[@drowninginapplesauce]

My ex broke up with me almost 15 months ago… she still has my heart and I miss her every moment of every day. We were college sweethearts and together for almost 12 years. I don’t want to live the rest of this life without the person I love the most. I’m on the verge of giving up… on everything. I just can’t and don’t want to move on - I still love her so deeply and the pain of losing her is simply unbearable.

[@sloanmagnum5009]

Why did you ex leave you in the first place? What was the cause?

[@kevinwingo1382]

Me too brother in the same boat as you.

[@Ella89zxx]

SAME - your situation sounds similar to mine. We had a 11yr relationship before he broke up with me saying he needed a “clean slate” because he was overwhelmed by other stresses in life with his career and kids and ex wife drama. He said he couldn’t be in a relationship anymore and suddenly changed on me. More then my boyfriend I am heartbroken I lost someone I thought was my best friend. I never thought he would leave me like this. I always thought we could at least be friends but he has shut me out. He says he isn’t dating but I don’t think he is telling me the truth. Its been 16months now since he broke up with me and I cant move on. I don’t think I will ever find happiness again like I had with him and now that version of him doesnt even seem to exist anymore. I tried to stay in his life and be supportive to him and try to remind him what we had together and convince him to give our relationship a chance for 10 months and I now know I just pushed him further away by doing this😭 I tried no contact for 2 months and then tried to “reconnect” and was texting with him for a few months but he still didn’t want to see me or really talk like we used to. He was initiating texts to me but it was always very superficial. He wasn’t the same person anymore to me he was treating me like a stranger and his messages were so inconsistent (like once a week maybe) I feel like he must be dating someone else and doesnt want to tell me. I finally asked him not to contact me anymore 2 months ago and he said “ok” but he started sending breadcrumbs again after a month. I do like hearing from him but its also keeping me stuck mentally hoping he will be asking to see me soon and want to reconnect and apologize to me and work on our relationship but I am afraid he will never do that too and I will be alone and miserable forever because nobody will ever be as good as he was to me. I am attractive. Men ask me out pretty much every day but finding another man as good as my ex to me is like finding a needle in a haystack. I wish he felt the same about me. I thought we had something special but he wasn’t even willing to tell me his real reasons for ending it with me. He claims I did nothing wrong “this is about him” He claims he loves me he just cant be in a relationship now. He has to be dating someone else is all that makes sense to me. None of it makes sense

[@Diana-cq1yp]

Did you try to reach out? If you can’t live without her why don’t you propose?

[@gregggaldo9181]

My friend....I feel for you...11 years for us and she went from "...I love you so much....I've never been so happy....I am so happy with where we are in our relationship...."...to...."...I can't do this anymore....."....I believe it was PMS/PMDD that made her leave....

[@Kelllllyyyy.]

Blocked my ex a few weeks after the breakup and never looked back. Time truly does allow you to heal and see the truth when you were initially blinded by love. So glad I blocked and moved on because he had anger issues and projected so much of his childhood/parents drama onto our relationship and it was exhausting to be with someone like that and give them multiple chances at my expense. Go no contact and trust me you’ll be fine :)

[@sloanmagnum5009]

If only more people would do this. Most of these people's relationships were toxic but they're so stuck in the fantasy and only focused on the good times or what they thought were good times that they're ignoring all the bad times and incompatibility. People need to emotionally separate them selves from the relationship to see how bad it really was.

[@markzig1429]

Going through this right now. Coach Lee is not only a genius, but his videos have been very timely. Not sure what I am going to do yet.

[@chunhuang8820]

I’d like to see a social media oriented coaching session.

[@alexandriaofatlantis]

This was a fantastic one, Coach Lee. A very informative video demonstrating a mature, tactful approach to respond in various situations. Thank you. ❤

[@Tambrose0405]

We been done for over a year. He dumped me thinking grass was greener and has too much pride to ever reach out. Since i was the one that was dumped, i refuse to reach out. I also moved 17hrs away which he knows so that could be part of it either way, i dont see him ever reaching out. I gave up on it.

[@AndreM37]

Well my first ex came back after 4 years. We eventually didn’t work but we are best friends for bout 10 years now. Another ex kinda wanted to come back but deal breaker was kids I had since we split up. Little signs ever so often last time I had interacted with her was last October . Another had been no contact and nothing yet. Just stay focused on your goals everyone . Learn how to be alone and love yourself

[@theseattlegreen1871]

My psycho ex girlfriend reached out to me after 4 years! I have nothing to say to her.....

[@Katrina-z1c]

You’re the best coach Lee you make common sense. Guud understanding.

[@DannyMartin3z]

If your struggle was communication with your partner you need to work on that. 30 days or 3 months or whatever your NC period is time where you could work on this. If you can communicate your needs better you increase the potential for a healthier relationship. If they don’t return then you raised your value by being able to communicate. I’ve been reading non-violent communication a language of life and have found it very insightful. I don’t know if Coach will read this but do, would love to see suggestions for tools (resources, techniques) to utilize during NC to improve yourself.

[@philly4life]

No contact is character development. They always come back I have had 2 exes prior to my current breakup. They both ended up coming back within 2 months. I turned them both down cuz I figured like many other people “why would I want someone who didn’t value me or thought the grass was greener”. However this ex I actually want nothing more than to get back together with. I can’t “expect” her to come back but I haven’t contacted her since about a week after the breakup over a month and half ago and it’s summer so we’ll see ig. What I am trusting is the process 👍🏻

[@xaiphonphianhavong2936]

I’m grateful to have found you on KZbin Coach Lee 😃

[@Dmzhkm]

I gave up after 3 years...i triend to convinced her to me by sending birthdays wishes itp...really meant that, but i realize there is no hard feeling from her point of view anymore. Right now im at a state of mind when im free of being worried what then, im finally free from this miserable feeling!

[@Korra939]

My Ex reached out to me after 5wks of NC, I have wanted him back, he was the love of my life, we both had lots of great times together but couldn’t find myself to respond back to him….it was the text I have always wanted but couldn’t respond back. He broke up with me after an argument & said, I disrespected him, a lot went at stake after that & am so resentful of him. Probably not getting back

[@Privilge05]

Literally the same thing is happening with me except I’m only on 8 days nc .. 😩

[@derekenlow7607]

You want him to change but refuse to grow yourself .. thats why you are single not because you dont want him back.

[@Ivy89261]

My ex left me a year and a half ago because there was a lot of argument about his lethargy, but he wasn't so lethargic that he immediately found someone else. He said he had known her longer than me and would be a better match for him.. after seven years of relationship . I still love him like crazy and don't feel able to heal. We always have brief contact about our child. I so wish he would say he was wrong and belongs to me. I have to cry while writing this 😢

[@sloanmagnum5009]

It sounds like you're going to have to move on

[@ArtimasStr]

I broke no contact after 3 weeks, I left a voicemail. She told my sister at a show they both went to that she still thinks about me and she isn’t seeing anyone or talking to anyone and only downloaded tinder as a distraction. She texted my sister after my voicemail and told her she doesn’t feel like I am her person and she doesn’t see a future with me or me around her family and all this, said she doesn’t think I am what’s best for her and she admitted she isn’t good at communicating, she says she knows I’ll move on and heal in time.. I was absolutely crushed hearing it. I don’t think she’ll ever be back or reach out to me. It’s back to no contact for myself. I mean I really hope we can talk again in the future but idk at this point, just eats at my soul. She told my sister the voicemail I left gave her anxiety. Really sucks. Idk if I really will “move on” from her as she was great, I didn’t put in as much effort as she did so she left. I am needing to fix myself and become better than I was.

[@ArtimasStr]

@Felleberre-tk8bg If I had the money I would.

[@EugeneJacobs-s8p]

Coach lee. The no contact really works. My ex came back today, and said that she misses me. We are going to have breakfast in two days. Thanks coach lee. It really works. She was going for around 60 days.

[@scifijunky1979]

I sincerely think not talking about getting back is bad idea. If they dump you, it is them where they have to work themselves back to you. They have to work to break down that wall of mistrust they created when they dumped you and they were willing to lose credibility with you. Because if that talk never happens, history will repeat itself and they will end up leaving you again, anything from a few months to a year’s time.

[@SirenaSpades]

I agree. Especially since the dumper has always discussed what was wrong or whatever needed to be fixed. What is the plan, to just ignore that and pretend those things don't exist and get back together and continue those wrong things? The dumpee should come back and say they worked on them, if they have, and they are ready to try again. That is the method of operation.

[@sreach93]

I think many people who had been in a relationship that lasted over 5 years would be disappointed to see their ex get into another relationship within the first 12 months. Surely there's a period of grief, reflection etc that must be gone through.

[@gbemiolatunji5414]

I think he’s at that point where he wants me back but doesn’t have the words to say it

[@noneya3969]

I wonder that too, because he keeps looking at me from afar when I’m not looking. And then when I look at him he quickly looks at the floor.

[@gbemiolatunji5414]

@@noneya3969 mine asked broke no contact after 35 days asked if I’m seeing someone, I asked why he asked and he has an interest, he asked to see me but I made a funny joke out of it, I still stayed no contact and it’s 30 days today now 😭

[@gbemiolatunji5414]

@@noneya3969 I think he’s shy

[@sloanmagnum5009]

What makes you think that?

[@gbemiolatunji5414]

@@sloanmagnum5009 because we had a conversation after about 1 month NC and he asked me if I have a new man now, I asked why he asked and he said he has an interest. He also said he wanted to come see me. This was a FaceTime conversation and he said I look good. I still stayed no contact though and it’s 30 days today

[@chazgeorgebatmanhotline7069]

I've followed you through 3 serious relationships

[@RealCoachLee]

I’m honored and hope I have helped!

[@chazgeorgebatmanhotline7069]

@@RealCoachLee You have. Thanks so much. I really enjoy listening to your wisdom.

[@roses6564]

If they were serious, how did it end up 3?

[@chazgeorgebatmanhotline7069]

@@roses6564 the first was my wife of 23 years, that ended 2019, I found Coach Lee. The second was a very intense relationship for 3 years, a week after that one ended I entered another that lasted a year, it ended about a month ago. We were about to move in together.

[@Bloodsport1337]

My first one came back after 3 years. My second one came back after 9 months and my last one came back after 4 months and again after a year. They ALWAYS come back BUT trust me, you should NEVER take them back. The pattern always repeats

[@susovan97]

Thank you, are your exes women or men? TIA!

[@Bloodsport1337]

@@susovan97 women

[@Bloodsport1337]

@@susovan97 women

[@edrserviceshernandez]

Wow bro that’s crazy

[@Bloodsport1337]

@@susovan97 women

[@PeterMugisha005]

For me it’s been 7 months!.. I followed the no contact to the letter.

[@hddwd8006]

I had all the time to realize they were not the right one for me, and I don't want them back !

[@CoreyHall-yi6gb]

This was excellent! I’ve been watching a lot of videos to deal with this recent breakup, and this really resonated with me. Thank you so much.

[@EugeneJacobs-s8p]

No contact really works. My ex just reached out to me today. Thanks coach lee. It took around 60 days. It really works no contact. She said that she missed me and wants to go have breadfast. Thanks coach lee.

[@SlapStreamGaming]

My ex reached out after 3 months of no contact (no birthday message) saying “I am still in the mindset of not dating but want to meetup and talk”

[@sreach93]

The hurdles they must overcome in time are peer pressure from family and friends, the Tylenol rebound and probably the last is the realisation of their contribution to the break-up. All the fruit must line up on the slot machine 🎰

[@Happy-Me.]

Three years with my BPD ex. She remains in my orbit as we share a hobby I introduced and taught her to do. She will say hello yo me but I ignore her. The imprint is strong but we have to look after ourselves and why shes your ex for a reason. Life expects too much of us.

[@robertbenedek4463]

...a lot of wisdom here, just discovered the channel. Very human approach, too. Much appretiated.

[@mabroukukasha5041]

To all of you here this is a message after experience it, don't wait for your ex to come back guys, invest your resources in yourself, find new hobbies, go for a holiday, gym or whatever else. Time heals everything but never and i repeat never go back with your ex after she or he broke up with you. They always lose more respect for you when you take them back.

[@Ella89zxx]

I think it depends how they came back and how you took them back. I will not be taking my ex back unless he is apologizing and showing me he has learned from the breakup and things will be different if we are back together. I won’t act excited to get back with him anymore, things would need to look different

[@norswil8763]

Well you’ve done it completely wrong, you’re not supposed to just take them back you’re supposed to make them work for it a bit. Reconnection is slow, you say you’re open to it and you start catching up - if you just jump back in they haven’t felt like you were a challenge and will leave again because you were too easy, which is needy. Be a man who demands respect and they won’t leave.

[@mabroukukasha5041]

@@norswil8763 it doesn't matter how you take him/her back, the fact that he/she left you for someone else and when she/he came back and you still there waiting for the ex, will make your ex think you can't do better and that is exactly why your ex will never respect you again

[@norswil8763]

@@mabroukukasha5041 it actually does matter, it matters a lot and it’s the difference between looking like the same person they lost attraction for and someone who grew and stands with more value. Take them back slowly and with hesitation, if you take them back immediately that is needy and suggests you’ve done nothing but wait for them. You might be projecting. Not all exes leave you for someone, if it was a quality love connection the motivation is typically a loss of attraction, behaviours, attachment clash or something you’ve done to drive them away - a lot dumpees have denial about why they were dumped which makes it hard for them to grow and level up correctly. If your ex leaves you for someone else, monkey branches then walk away, that is disrespectful and that person isn’t worth your time. Simple.

[@sloanmagnum5009]

You are 100% correct. Anybody who disagrees is just living in a fantasy and hoping their situation will be different if they follow some goofy made up rules to reconnect. Successful reconciliation where two peolle get back together and are happy and stay together is ultra rare.

[@nicolechemla4627]

What if "it's been six months.." and still not a word from.him.. But hey I'm not going to break.. NO WAY!!!

[@ivanbrankovic1628]

I'm in this situation now, my best friend girl left me because some guy at her job and We knew each other over 15 years. And we had distance relationship, now i suffer and she is dating. I left message that I wanna marry her and send her flowers, but she said she loves me but it doesn't make any more sense and left me on seen. Now I'm doing no contact. I was little pushy and she was at suffering because as i was on vacation with her everything was good, but after she found other guy.

[@ekkies_empire]

Pls talk about couples who break up but have kids together… how will they manage No contact

[@mirriammubanga8708]

my ex just reached out after six weeks of no contact , he was so casual trying to find out how i have been, a week ago i met his elder brother who started sharing with me on how he was asking about me when he went to visit him ,its just after a week passed that himself has contacted me finally , not yet sure what his intentions are but i will take things slow and see where this goes,whatever comes i will handle it the way it comes.

[@sarahpitts687]

What do you do when they are reaching out to you, showing all these signs and even being direct about getting back with you but you know that they are actually still in a relationship and living with someone else??? 🤯

[@KenuDRoger]

My ex contacted me during no contact, but she unblocked me, I thought it was something, but she just wanted me not to park my motorbike on her place because she feels uncomfortable 😂, so I replied in a positive way and gave me my reason, then she said okay fine, then I told her you can blocked me again if you want too, then proceed to NC again, but days later I checked, she still havent blocked me😂. I guess it's better than nothing.

[@Alex-wt9nf]

This guy is the best 100%

[@cinatone]

So right about the pressuring them. That they’d stay away based on fear that it would be difficult to do again. My thing is, had you given me a heads up 3 months before you left that you were basically doing the break up healing while stupid me had no idea, maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have pressured you to act human. 😂

[@stephaniepittaluga5057]

That is EXACTLY how I feel about mine; I was sleeping with the enemy.

[@ketobodybuilder2482]

What do i do if ex shows up at my door during NC. Shes blowing up my phone. It works but i want substance nit just validations or breadcrumbs.

[@LouieGarcia-j4r]

What about an ex reaching out just to mention that she is very sad, depressed & lonely? And mentioning that she wishes her life would end?

[@applxphotography]

Same thing happened to me, they tried to move on but couldn’t let go of you. They are waiting for you to contact them and want you back again.

[@lifeatinfinity]

Love and support from India ! ❤

[@bronzedgold]

Today makes one month when he moved out and left me with no job to pay all the household bills alone. No care or concern for if I got evicted. So even though we were together for almost 5 years I’m going to take that to mean he never loved me at all. He couldn’t have to have left me in a predicament like this. I have to accept that. It’s hard and it hurts my heart so much! But today I’m just going to accept it. He never loved me. And I’m going to end this denial thing I have going on right here in this comment section.

[@plunderersparadise]

Listen to Coach Lee, he is 100% right. My ex contacted me after 118 days, she was really kind/nice and sent me some pictures, asked about things. She left me with no money, self respect, no dog, and her family threatened me. I was at the very edge of many things. She said exactly what Coach Lee says. "Curious whether I am okay, what I do, how am I doing" and stuff. I'm amazed. I was polite and I'm now continuing my life. I feel happy, I feel better now. Much love for you, I know how it feels. It gets better after some time. It was 3 months for me to heal my hearth. The completion was when she reached out. I hope you do fine with your house :)

[@bronzedgold]

@@plunderersparadise wow thank you so much for your heartfelt response. This is a really hard time accepting this. So it means the world to me that you let me know you went through something similar and today your heart is no longer hurting. Thank you so much for that.

[@susanewood7432]

Wow u so on point I love it

[@yourboyreno]

My ex reached out after 6 months , then we talked for one month and then she left again. This is frustrating and I went back into NC. Probably never coming back !

[@Diana-cq1yp]

You probably didn’t do the work

[@GladysMabada]

"crying shaking their heads" lol

[@joannahwokoma3933]

I broke up with my ex because I felt I had no choice. He had been pushing me away for months, being really cold and even broke up with me 2 weeks before I ended it. I begged him, cried to him and almost forced him to stay. He was so mean and cold and made me wait a week before he responded to my pleads to sort things out. Then within two weeks the silly arguments started again. He gave me the silent treatment because I did not text him goodnight one night. In the end it all felt too much so I broke up with him because I felt I had no choice and almost like that is what he wanted me to do but it was not what I wanted at all. I miss him so much. But I know if I go back on my decision, I will look like a joke and he will treat me like he did when I begged him to stay. I actually don’t know what to do. Any advice would be great.

[@Maya-r5g5r]

Try to communicate your feelings with him Lay it all on the table and take your hands off it

[@nickb8618]

My ex just broke hard a couple weeks ago when she found out I was just starting to date a women with the same hobby as me. Finally she started to admit she messed up a lot. 🤔 I was at a point of peace and ready to move on.

[@camellia8625]

It’s interesting how exes may come out of the wood work as soon as you start dating someone new. At least she has acknowledged her part in the breakdown of your relationship.

[@jefferyyeager7934]

Im afraid thats what is going to happen on my end too in about a month and a half if she doesnt come back around. Especially if its someone who has been in my orbit she might know about! lol. See what happens

[@vwardia]

I would like a video that talks about when your breakup involves toxic friends or something similar. My ex broke up with me because of his male friend, so had been pushing him the breakup with me since this past November. My ex broke up with me in March and is starting to be in the curiosity stage. His narcissistic friend has him in the palm of his hand and I’m not sure how to get him to see the mistake he has done

[@lsh1008]

Reached out after 2 months of no contact at all.

[@MrTony759]

Very interesting video I know it will not happen to me to have my ex back this is the third year we split up just saying of the words you said coach Lee I have arrived at the point that she has made her decision not to come back ..since I have been in no contact and radio silence makes me feel a little bit unkind I still have feelings for her..but at this point I think she hasn't anymore for me..I will go on with life ..I will remain in no contact..and who knows maybe one day she will reach out again to me..

[@di114n2]

No contact worked after 4 days she texted me and wanted to talk about work drama . I’m starting to get depressed though because I think she’s just so used to having me to chat with everyday and not that she truly misses my love for her. I’ll keep you updated but we’re back to 2 days no contact . She said we both need to work on ourselves and she said she’s certainly not saying we can’t be back together but right now she’s not thinking about a relationship . I feel like an idiot waiting around when she’s probably trying to find a new guy . On the other hand though this is the most faithful girl I’ve ever met and we were together for 6 years. She also hates meeting new people so I have no clue .

[@mistydawn5061]

I've contacted him after no contact, he replied to me but we haven't spoken. He did switch up on me though prior which caused him to dump me. He recently liked a selfie but to me, it MEANS NOTHING..im done with him

[@ArunKumar-rd7zj]

My ex called me yesterday after 5months 10 days , as i was busy my staff attended her call , but she dint utter anything and disconnected the call after 5 seconds. What should i do...?

[@rebeccawoods8528]

Agreed, the breakup was considered for a long time before.

[@jibberjabber2]

I know you say not to ignore your ex but wouldn’t this also make them feel the lost if you know they are in a rebound relationship and they are still trying to get their cake and eat it too by continuing to try to communicate and make small talk? 🤨

[@abubakarmabdow]

We have been broken up for 6 months now, although, no contact still applied yet still no communication from her and I am still waiting and hanging tight . I am waiting for Coach Lee to give me the green light to move on 😢

[@russellcameronthomas2116]

In my opinion, you are the only person who can decide "when to move on". For me, it came (gradually) after 3 months of no contact, but really 5 months before I was really open and available. (It's been 11 months of NC, though we have seen each other in social events ten times. Nothing more than eye contact.). If you haven't moved on after 6 months, ask yourself "What am I getting out of this -- putting myself and my life on hold for so long?". Because you holding on for so long does *nothing* for your ex-. It doesn't increase your chances of getting back together. Best wishes.

[@abubakarmabdow]

@@russellcameronthomas2116 I agree Russell I am gaining nothing of this, therefore, I have taken a decision to close my social media in order help me to move on. It has been now 2 weeks and hopefully will be no more of reminiscing and thinking of her. Thanks dude

[@abubakarmabdow]

@@russellcameronthomas2116 What I am getting out of this? This is a dope question.

[@LeeEverett1]

She ghosted me after 6 months together without ever formally breaking things off, she straight blocked me everywhere after a small dispute and downloaded dating apps within days. I don't think she'll ever break, sounds to me she's determined to move on. The irony is on the dating apps she put in her bio "looking for something long term" but ran from me the moment we had a disagreement.

[@lionelt7882]

If it gets to the point where you’re blocked, I would just move on for good. Something you said or did triggered her or gave her an ick, to the point where she wants no ties to you, including social media.

[@Sisco14]

They got some healing to do, but also work on yourself and know they weren’t the one you wanted.

[@LeeEverett1]

@@lionelt7882 The blocking part was childish because it was unwarranted. Basically I told her she was taking me for granted and she got so pissed she ghosted me, more than likely it was an excuse to end things. I've moved on (gone on a couple dates already and occupying my time), it's just hard still because I've never had a woman dump me in this way

[@LeeEverett1]

@@Sisco14 She's not healing because she got on dating apps within days. Several of my friends have seen her profile pop up

[@Sisco14]

@@LeeEverett1 some don’t heal until they have the aha moment that they need to. Just have to wish them the best.

[@stephen2398]

She did after 8 months. We talked for about 5 weeks. Met on one occasion, but in the end she said she hates that she thinks about me and is reminded of me through many things and blocked me. So I guess that is that.

[@scottyb.8710]

Fairly recently, my ex up almost 5 years and invited me to lunch as friends. During lunch, she told me that the purpose of meeting for lunch was to tell me that we are no longer friends. That was interesting. She also told me that she still loved me, but that will no longer get back together because I never made her feel special enough even though she said I was the most amazing man she has ever been with or could imagine being with. Then, and of course, she then called me 24 hours later to talk about the same thing that we talked about at lunch the day before.

[@lionelt7882]

Don’t go to lunch with an ex unless you strictly want to be friends

[@Flufero23]

My ex is FA. I think he got bored after a peaceful, mostly good four-year relationship with me. He monkey branched to another nine months ago. I have no idea what he is doing. I don't care. I wish him well, however. No hard feelings on my part. I moved on, and have healed finally .

[@couldstrife1]

It’s been almost 10 months since she left. Nc for a third time after she came to get her stuff after 7 months, I really doubt she’s coming back as much as I would love her to. I’ve been unfollowed for a second time and pretty sure I’m restricted so can’t see her stories not that I look. But she watches my business page stories all the time. Had days where I really want to reach out but I know it won’t do anything

[@dmitryisaev5955]

Well, there needs to be a serious talk at some point. Otherwise you fall back to the old dynamics…

[@JT2753_1]

How do you compete with that group of “cheerleaders”? In this case, they were very likely the fuel that sparked the thoughts of breaking up. Speaking against me when they had never met me (a fairly new group of friends who are all single). We had a very good relationship until they entered the picture & then my partner quickly started pulling away.

[@jumpedintheriverwhatdidise5499]

My last ex came back like 2 weeks after I started dating someone new which was about a year after breakup. How the he'll to they just know. Obvs i blocked them. Current ex has not reached out but I think she will because they all do eventually. When they are going through a dry spell or bad times they reach out. Just hope I've moved on properly by then.