Why Americans feel shame about enjoying life (France is different)

[@kerouac2]

You are rare Americans to have understood these points so well. Bravo.

[@arnodobler1096]

Being bored sometimes also promotes imagination and creativity.

[@manunhc1644]

laissez vos enfants s'ennuyer ils trouveront des jeux à faire....

[@aaronhobbins3893]

Very good point!

[@karlazytzeen]

I keep telling this to my kids !

[@HenriBourjade]

the French are not bored. They relax.

[@Saba15-t9d]

Yes lots!

[@thierrysanchez3161]

Je suis impressionné parce que à chacune de vos vidéos j'appends des choses sur mon propre pays ..

[@christianjambou8208]

De même pour moi.

[@laurenceclark8754]

As an American, me to. They're great. (En tant qu'américain, moi aussi, je suis d'accord.)

[@lacarry64]

Parril pour moi, mais j'apprends sur les francais ET les americains. Cela illustre bien que les personnes multiculturelles sont bien plus interessants et riches culturellement que les natifs du pays. Et le climat actuel anti migrants qui se developpe actuellement un peu partout est une erreur et une voie d'appauvrissement pour les pays qui font ce choix isolationiste.

[@thierrysanchez3161]

@@lacarry64 Tu l'as entendu dire sur BFMTV et CNEWS ?

[@stephbreizh]

C est si mal la France, finalement 😊

[@keepscats7936]

You are so right about the U.S.! I've been retired for a number of years. I tried a little experiment. When someone asked what I plan to do that day, I gave one of 4 answers in rotation: grocery shopping, laundry, read my book, absolutely nothing. Chores are met with a more positive response than reading. "Absolutely nothing" is met with "oh" and an expression that makes me wonder if I've suddenly sprouted blue ears!

[@BaguetteBound]

☝️ this

[@emmanuellegrand-i5o]

Très bonne réponse de ce que tu as à faire pendant ta retraite. Lire de bons livres, faire de belles promenades, de bons dîners entre amis et la retraite est belle 😂😂

[@brunobailly7013]

To all the blue-ear-sprouted people out there... Soyez les bienvenus en FRANCE !!!🤗

[@reneejenais]

This is why when I moved to France it felt like the pace of my life slowed down, that it was suddenly okay for my to relax and enjoy myself. This is also why went I recently went back to visit the immediate rush of productivity was so jarring! Thank goodness the French figured this out! Fantastic video!

[@jasonfitzpatrick414]

Yep. We lost control of our lives somehow. I miss the 1970s when people just enjoyed life.

[@pierre-jeanbecker4247]

I wish i was not already french and living in France so i could discover what's is like to be french again.

[@BaguetteBound]

❤️

[@daisy9910]

We need to work to live, not live to work. Sadly, these days it's harder to do thanks to the greedy corporations. You are lucky to have made the move. I'm hoping to be able to do the same soon.

[@jeanmas4197]

It seems to me, as the US constitution says "pursuit of happiness", you did exactly that by going somewhere else, so in effect, you are by definition good Americans.

[@ariannewdnotbe]

You are 💯% correct. When we were 1st married, my French husband said to me (🇺🇸) The 1st week of vacation is used to decompress from working. Weeks 2&3 are used for relaxing & having fun. Week 4 is to ready oneself mentally for the prospect of returning to work. I laughed, but I came to realize he was right. The French take leisure time very seriously, in a good way.

[@BaguetteBound]

This is so true!

[@Saba15-t9d]

So do the Norwegians. The more free days (vacation days/weeks) we have, the better it is!! 😅 Family, hobbies and personal health always comes first.

[@tarinkaj2585]

The sign I had some good holidays, is when I go back to work and I can't remember the password of my computer - and it's almost the same, 1 week to forget about work, 1 week to enjoy, 1 week to anticipate the return .. 😂

[@mogon721]

I work for an international company in Germany, and we often have Americans here in the HQ visiting for a few weeks or months at a time. To generalize a bit, they usually need to be detoxed when it comes to work culture. From not visiting a doctor and taking sick leave when they are sick (and contagious) to working overtime without being actually very effective. For them, it's often incomprehensible how work and private life is separated very strictly here. It's a whole new world for them. ;-) From my experience, that's pretty much the same in France and all over the EU. I have seen it more than once that somebody realized how they were missing something they never knew existed, a work-life balance actually worth the name. And I have several American colleagues here who took the big step to move over permanently, including their families. Luckily for them, there are always job opportunities in our European branches. Of course, not everybody can adapt, and if you have family back home, it's always a big step to move abroad, even if you are sick and tired of the hamster wheel...

[@antoinedescours2459]

"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone." Blaise Pascal. It's important to be "bored" sometimes, it allows you to think and to your creativity to blossom. By the way I don't know if you're aware of that but your daughter will have a mandatory philosophy class in high-school terminale, she will have to learn who that Pascal guy is

[@LizzieJaneBennet]

Thank you ! I wanted to speak of that too : How the disapearing of those moments of boring where children could dream, explore, imagine, create their own toys and games, is lowering the imagination, creativity and intelligence of the new generation. Vive Blaise Pascal ! (sauf que le mot "ennui" à son époque avait aussi le double sens de 'blues', voire de dépression).

[@nedludd7622]

Maya Angelou said in an interview that Americans had done a terrible thiing to children in making them afraid to be alone. Thus they search to belong to a group and be accepted, even to joining gangs

[@HenriBourjade]

​@@LizzieJaneBennetEn français on ne dit pas que ce sont des moments d'ennui. Ce sont des moments de détente, de liberté. Dans la vie des enfants il faut laisser des moments non organisés où ils peuvent simplement 'jouer dehors". Sans pression.

[@LizzieJaneBennet]

@@HenriBourjade Je confirme, il est bien question, dans la bouche de certains spécialistes de l'enfance, de la regrettable totale disparition de moments où l'enfant s'ennuie.

[@HenriBourjade]

@@LizzieJaneBennet Justement, il ne s’ennuie pas. Il choisit, il crée ses propres occupations, ça développe son autonomie.

[@susanwallis7249]

I'm not American but I have spent a considerable amount of time in America and I watch your channel because you make such fascinating observations. All of which, I have to say, I agree with.

[@TonyCMAGNA]

J'aime chacune de vos vidéos. Votre regard sur nos différences (vie en France / vie aux USA) me permet d'apprécier ce que je vis au quotidien et que j'ai tendance à oublier tellement ça me semble "naturel". Quoi que certains pessimistes en disent, on vit bien en France. Merci à vous !

[@nedludd7622]

I am an American who moved to France long ago. I greatly prefer French "pessimism" to American optimism.

[@ChristinaGonzalez-r4g]

Thank you for bringing this topic up. As an American in California I believe that our life experiences are self imposed. I think you didn’t say the word NO enough when you were living in the US and you suffered from FOMO . Boundaries are important but having them can make people uncomfortable, who cares! I don’t have kids so maybe that’s why I cant relate. I am a college grad and I am retired now from a very successful career. However, I am leaving the country for several months to experience adifferent lifestyle. Your videos have inspired me. Sorry for the lecture.

[@francocanuck]

@@nedludd7622 I love this one , as the Corsican said ( slowly in the morning not too fast in the afternoon ) you will live well--

[@andersrhodiner739]

This is not only France. All of Europe have this mentality and it works.

[@LyonMaconnerie]

South Europe Italie, spain, etc..

[@pter7531]

Nah, not really. France, Spain, Italy, Portugal, Greece: yes. Maybe the south of Belgium. The others? Hm.

[@colafontan]

​@@pter7531 could be the difference between historically protestant and catholics countries ?

[@ludwigmarzin579]

@@pter7531 I'm French, I worked also in Germany (I live on the border), and I can say that generally, there is a common "European way of life" compared to the reality in the US. Sure, every country has his own traditions, and often, they are different between regions in the same country (like in France or Germany), but from the eyes of an extra European, we are closer than we think... In west Germany (Saarland) some old people say that the French are sometimes "preußischer als die Preußen"...

[@cedricserieys9768]

Meanwhile Elon Musk and Bezos are preparing for the future by going into space. I don't say "it's good/it's bad". Each with their own priorities. (I'm French)

[@sibyllevincendon2176]

I really enjoy your channel, your views and the friendly mirror your perception of France is for us French people. Such a pleasure to listen to you! But my guess is that your very positive experience also comes from the fact that that you dwelled in one of the nicest places, in Eymet, that is a concentration of what’s best in France ! For kids especially, the pressure upon education, which schools are the best mainly, won’t be as strong in the country side as it can be, let’s say, in Paris for instance… There, parents deploy strategies to avoid the district school which is mandatory pretending academic issues (for 6yrs old!) when it’s only about avoiding social and racial mixing. France has its problems too but not as much as the US, you’re absolutely right on that. Let’s us French people be aware of this!

[@timrobertson1571]

The UK, where I was born, is not quite as dominated by the need to work endless hours as the US, but there are similarities. When I first got married (in 1971) my wife and I decided to holiday in a different countries every year. First year Austria and Italy. Second year France. After that we never went anywhere else. In 2009 I (sadly now single) moved here and discovered what you did. The French have a better way of life.

[@Cogitosum01]

Your videos never trigger any insulting or agressive comments, as is generally the case for any video about any subject matter. That is a sign about how positive and sincere your work is ! Thanks a million, also for that 😊

[@BaguetteBound]

Thank you! We are ever impressed with the thoughtful and engaging discussions that happen here. I usually learn something or have something new to think about from viewers comments! We appreciate that a lot! 😄

[@maudieg8459]

You have identified a real problem in this country. Thank goodness you were able to change course. Good for you.

[@katelanxner278]

Yes, good for you. Not everyone has the circumstances to do that.

[@pjalexandra]

Canadian who loves France here. My experience there is similar, and I think you're onto something with the connection you made between pleasure and health stats. Although culture is somewhat different in Canada, I feel anecdotally that foundational puritan-religious values and pioneer-scarcity ancestral experience in N. America around 'pleasure' or enjoyment actually do lead to a type of undernourishment. It's like the economically richest countries in the world are still starving culturally. Not everyone, but many. And then processed food engineered to be addictive is an easily accessible way to feel pleasure--at least temporarily.

[@levanle653]

Je crois décidément que vous devenez de plus en plus Français (sauf pour la langue semble t'il🙂) dans votre compréhension des gens de ce pays, dans leur rapport à ce qui leur est essentiel. Le bien être familial avant tout, qui commence par le leur ! En tous cas, vos vidéos sont sympathiques, équilibrées et très agréable à suivre.

[@BaguetteBound]

Merci!

[@philip9964]

Three years in france and we have clubs on Wednesday afternoon and Saturdays. The clubs are ridiculously cheap 130€ for a year if tennis practice. 80€ a year for the competitive swimming club twice a week and competitions during the summer. BBQ and a glass of wine after the comps...parfait. We love it. Keep up the great videos!

[@katelanxner278]

It was similar in Geneva when I went there, and the public facilities were as clean and modern as private clubs in the USA! It always amazed me and made me grateful I had had a chance to experience it. Being back in the USA now I can only DREAM of being back there. Sigh...

[@marsnotoshi]

If one didn't understand that you love your new life here with your previous videos, this one will definitely help :) What makes your videos so special for native french like me is that your point of view is a reminder of how lucky we are and why we shouldn't be so grumpy at times

[@elpis_ezechiel]

I'm a teacher (a private teacher, I tutor and give extra lessons but I don't work with the Education Nationale), and I teach (among other things) French and FLE. I see each year the USA's mentality about work and guilt growing and it worries me. One of the most important task I have when I have high school students (and sometimes a little bit younger ones) is to teach them that rest and sleep is at least as important as working and studying is. One's brain needs to rest to memorize and understand what you worked on during the day, and if you're always working on something you have higher chances to reach a breaking point and burn out. So I teach both academic subjects, and also methodology and how to work smarter, not harder. As soon as my students understand that if they work correctly, they actually work less or with less intensity and get better results, they're just... idk. Lighting up. That spark of curiosity and interest for learning in a teen's eyes is everything I work for.

[@corinnesimonyi3621]

It is the same where I live in Canada with the bonkers after-school activities for kids (especially hockey…the time commitment expected is ridiculous here). I prefer the French attitude you are describing, where extra- curriculars are just for fun. We can learn a lot from the French way of doing things. Thank you as always for sharing your insights.

[@fafaser38]

Especially in sport, it is not organized at school in France. And the best players are detected very young. Nowadays and for example in football/soccer, if your child is not in a professional Club (or high level club) at 11 years old or younger (so in special sport school), it will be pratically impossible to be professional, and even build his future in sport activity. So for 99,9% of kids who continue this activity, it is just for fun, of course there are bad "too serious" coaches and crazy parents too and it is still a competive sport... But it is not anymore a part of your future scholarity and professional future.

[@DaveGreen-gw6ew]

​@@fafaser38That's very true. If you are not at a professional club, albeit on schoolboy/ girl terms, you have no chance of going on to represent France at any level.

[@tarinkaj2585]

Soccer/football is a popular sport in the true sense in France but also in many european countries. It's not a business, it's not about making money and it does not cost a lot for parents (you pay like 100/150€ for the year, a bit of equipement and that's it), educators are often parents or volunteers or students and they don't push the kids. Do US kids even have an equivalent to our "goûter" after games or do they just jump back into their cars and leave? After a game, parents of the receiving team here will bring cake and drinks to share with their opponents. Every village has its own football/soccer pitch and at regular level you just play in your area against the villages around... Kids will be in teams with their classmates, they have fun together and that's often what will encourage them to start... No kid has any idea of what a scolarship is. Of course, there are crazy parents and some kids reach a level that can be better and where it gets more demanding and serious, thankfully we are also able to produce gifted athletes from time to time, and they will be seen and will end up in big clubs, but also in Sport-Etudes classes or INSEP which are not prívate money machines and maybe they will have the opportunity to go to dream US colleges on a scolarship ultimately - No, we're not as good as the Americans or the Chinese in the Olympic games, yes their infrastructures are awesome, college sports levels are impressive, but this will always come with a price... It's a choice we make as a society and I'm glad we chose that path... 😊

[@ahjacobs1967]

Absolutely 💯 agree with everything you said! As an American myself you are absolutely right and it’s ingrained in me to constantly be busy accomplishing something and always working to check things off a list and feeling guilty about having down time and relaxing. We are headed to France 🇫🇷 in two weeks! We retired last year and are still learning to relax and enjoy life more. I find it much easier to do this in Europe for some weird reason.

[@mastochabou62]

Well. Itcs just because in Europe you will have no externat judgement for not running after productivité.

[@arthurbateau6027]

Il existe une expression en français: "il faudrait être fou pour être toujours sérieux".

[@BaguetteBound]

J'adore cette expression !❤

[@regatta2k]

WAW! That's deep...and very beautiful. Bravo!

[@dikkiedik53]

It's not even deep enough. I'm Dutch, but I remember some professor explaining on TV there is the Anglo-Saxxon model and there is the Rhijnland model. The Anglo-Saxxon model is the USA and the Rhijnland model is the German-Dutch-Belgium model, let's say western Europe to include France. With these models there is care for workers by employers and the care for social society by government in the Rhijnland model opposite to the profit and lack of care for workers and the predominant individualistic Anglo-Saxxon model. It's just from long ago in my memory, but to me it makes sense. Btw.. I visit France for my 60th year next summer I hope. J'aime la France et les Français.

[@bertycox]

ça me fait penser à quelque chose, il y a le plaisir de faire, mais aussi et peut-être surtout le plaisir d'être. Et autre chose aussi, on dit que la créativité nait quand on s'ennui , alors si on fait tout le temps quelque chose, tout devient répétitif et vraiment ennuyeux pour le coup .. et au passage j'apprécie beaucoup vos vidéos ^_°

[@sunnyjcor]

I agree wholeheartedly! I often simply enjoy being, and I encourage others to enjoy being.

[@Xelphian2999]

Entièrement d'accord ! L'ennui me pousse à être créatif.

[@johnkeenan4184]

Sounds like America has it wrong. Here in Ireland, we would have a similar attitude to the French.

[@magmilion4175]

I love Ireland!!!

[@Elliasp-xx7mb]

je pense que c'est dans toute l'europe, nous sommes pareils ;) 😘

[@MrPaulo8394]

I am a French living abroad, but I spent most of my life working for American companies and went to the US a few times for business. I was so shocked every-time I was seeing Uber drivers telling me they were making 6 figures (and even top notch 6 figures at times) yet felt they’d rather pass their free time driving & earning extra on Uber … I had a hard time putting words on those cultural differences. Feels good to hear them out from Americans themselves!!

[@elizzy8754]

Is that perhaps because $$$ are the only security for workers? There is not much of a social safety net in the USA.

[@NikkiSquires]

Loving your videos, guys. I'm not from the US, but have spent time in the US and France. I'm 100% a Francophile. Looking forward to your next video 😊

[@stephen10.]

J'aime bien quand votre fille chante une petite chanson en français. A cet àge on apprend tout très vite, elle semble s'adapter très bien à sa vie ici. Même si elle repart aux USA, ça lui fera une ouverture d'esprit sur le monde extraordinaire. Sa vie professionnelle sera meilleure sans doute.

[@katelanxner278]

Me too, I loved hearing her sing as it reminded of my daughter when she learned French songs so quickly on attending a French speaking middle school in Geneva. She was lucky to have a main teacher who had studied in England so she had the best of both worlds (we are American).

[@stephen10.]

@@katelanxner278 👍

[@cyndikehrli8389]

Good morning and thank you so much for this video. My children adults now, neither were into sports, leaning more toward literature, writing, art. They did their own thing and are thriving. Part of me has felt guilty all these years that I maybe I should have steered them into sports because so many of my friends feel that sports are a big thing in helping kids learn team work, commitment, etc. Thank you so much, needed this!

[@jasonfitzpatrick414]

I couldn't care less about sports.

[@CityLights-v6u]

There is a plus, actually ---- more independent hobbies allow you to develop personal responsibility. It's much easier to feel responsible and do what you need to when you're constantly being watched over like you are in sports and school in general. You've got a team relying on you, and the coach can threaten to kick you out if you don't focus and do what you're told! It's much harder when you're alone and doing your own thing. You could try and give yourself rewards or punishments, but I struggle to follow through with them honestly. Gratification is also a _lot_ more delayed. Of course, a finished art piece or a book takes much longer than a training session. This teaches patience. This is partially why I was able to do the work so well at school (well, as long as the classroom had a bit of chatter and stuff --- I often struggled in college where the classroom can be silent), but struggled to study at home where I had to be responsible for my own sessions without all the crippling anxiety of being watched like a hawk and the threat of detention or sitting with the head teacher. Ironic for anxiety to make things easier, eh? I really should've built my personal responsibility skills through hobbies like art and literature.

[@slcpunker]

While in France in the 80s I learned "The French work to live. The Americans live to work."

[@michaelme1548]

It depends on the person. Americans have that reputation but it isn’t accurate. Most Americans don’t live to work. It may be the reputation comes from it being more common in the USA but, even if that’s true, that doesn’t mean it is practiced by the majority. It isn’t.

[@michelgrangeret1427]

I am French and will soon be 60. And like many others, for all these years, I felt a little guilty about doing nothing, and it’s always the case. But now, since I can’t stand doing nothing..... I’m going to take a nap !

[@BaguetteBound]

😂

[@michelgrangeret1427]

I'm a faithful follower of your channel, and I like the way you use to compare both french and american culture and way of life, always accurate and relevant. Well done !!

[@jenniferlindorff9710]

Wow, you have made me realize where this immense feeling of guilt is coming from! I feel like when friends ask how things are going I’m SUPPOSED to say ‘busy, oh so busy’, but in reality I’m living with time carved out for hobbies, coffee, family time, etc.. I limit the kids to one, maaaaybe two, activities per week, and we homeschool. I feel very fortunate, but also really not on the same page (or pace) with most people around me. I know my capacity, and I stick to it. I just feel so guilty talking about something I’m doing in my ‘free time’. To give you context, I live in small town New England, where people are Just. So. Busy. Thank you both for this enlightening video!

[@BaguetteBound]

You have hacked the American system. Good for you!! It's so weird for it to be strangely embarrassing to admit you're not overscheduled. You'd think people would be striving for that, and they *say* they are, but I think secretly people feel you're not "busy" you must not be doing enough to justify your existence.

[@misty0708]

Thank you, you explain so well and I like the fact that you are down to earth people. We need to take the time even to the point of feeling bored , to give space to our "right brain" in order to stimulate our creativity. By doing nothing sometimes, your brain does a lot. And children need that too.

[@BaguetteBound]

C'est vrai!

[@jacquesterrier4700]

Les états unis sont un grand camp de travail au service de quelques uns.

[@Chris-kc3is]

A priori ,toi tu ne dois pas être un forcené du boulot . Fonctionnaire, syndicaliste, LFI ? Ou les 3 à la fois ?😂😂😂

[@jacquesterrier4700]

@@Chris-kc3is Tu as trop de temps libre que tu perds a faire chier les gens sur le net. Peut être devrais tu travailler + pour nous montrer l'exemple.

[@katelanxner278]

OMG well said.

[@garilforgecoeur5644]

@@Chris-kc3is Je suis fonctionnaire dans l'hospitalière et je pense que je travaille 3 fois plus que toi, le cafard.

[@northerngannetproject3147]

1 américain sur 15 est millionnaire.

[@olivier2553]

You don't need a scholarship to attend college in France, that makes a big difference on your involvement in sport...

[@BaguetteBound]

100% true

[@patanouketgersiflet9486]

Reminds me of an excellent reality TV series, Last Chance U, where you see all these kids coming from minorities, poor families, seeing community college sports as their ONLY way out of poverty, crime, drugs etc. They dream of playing in the NFL, NBA, because they like the sports, but mostly because they'd support their family and have basic education on top. If things don't work out at school, they lose thir scholarship and therefore their chance at getting education and a decent job, even if outside of sports. But they don't consider plan B, their only option in their mind is going pro, even if their chances are slim to none. Very telling of how education, sports, job opportunities work for a large part of the population in the US

[@melumamala5542]

Some Need scholarship but if you attend a scolarship it depends of your school grades

[@erickarnell]

In my area, children at 15 or 16 years old are frequently requiring surgery because of overuse injuries from sports like basketball, baseball or dance. A culture that promotes kids focusing too narrowly and too intently on high achievement has a clear downside.

[@BaguetteBound]

Oh my gosh! 😮 But I believe it based on my own friend's experiences .😢

[@rosamondfahey2731]

I so enjoy your postings. I am hoping to get to a place where I can move to France. Thank you for the inspiration as I work towards getting rid of tons of medical debt to realize my dream. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, hopefully leading to great French pastries!

[@louissouseauetpixels]

Je trouve passionnant votre vision/analyse de notre société et je vous avoue que vous m'avez ouvert les yeux sur pas mal de mes façon de fonctionner 😅

[@communication4286]

There are also some achievement-driven families in France who push their children through the highly-competitive school systems. Classes préparatoires, concours for the Grandes Écoles. This deprives their children of the relaxed phase of personal growth and can lead to top management being so driven and often poor managers. In fact they even take their ‘loisirs’ so seriously that they are no longer pleasures… I’m not sure that loisir always translates culturally as leisure. Food for example… consuming is a pleasure … but the quest for good food, finding the freshest fish at the market, selecting the ripe fruit, the best baguette etc. Inviting the right mix of dinner guests, selecting the correct wine.. all the preparation is the quest for pleasure or the pursuit of happiness. Frequently during a lovely meal people will talk about a great dish they ate or cooked one month earlier or what they are planning to cook soon. So the pleasure and quest for it are almost obsessionnel… To the outsider the US seems so more relaxed … to the outsider but not to a player in the game…

[@bdlrnzi]

The USA has a puritanical streak a mile wide and an ocean deep. I left the USA in my 20’s and never returned, living in Germany, Japan, and mostly Quebec, Canada. That puritanical streak has mellowed in me somewhat in Quebec where 3-hour lunches are not uncommon, summers are a string of festivals and even snow removal from the streets is a parade of lights and trucks in the night. When I first arrived at my workplace, my colleagues gave me a list of favourite restaurants.

[@grodard9]

C'est vrai qu'on est bien au Québec.

[@RickFlood]

Amen, it's not just extracurricular activities, it's many other things that makes me yearn to move to France. Then again, I had German ancestors residual notions that it was all about work...it had to be perfect, and it had to be done right now and could not involve fun! ;-)

[@jean-lucfrotey7604]

bonsoir c'est pareil en France pour ce qui est de la rigueur et de l'efficacité mais nous avons en plus l'amour, l'amour du travail bien fait ! sinon ce pays ne serai pas ce qu'il est.

[@rainawillick4619]

​@@jean-lucfrotey7604d'accord pour moi!

[@RonRobertson-lafrance]

I hope you're able to do it. I moved here 3 years ago, and am so glad I did.

[@RickFlood]

@RonRobertson-lafrance Thanks Ron. No Chateau, I'm afraid after my spouse passed last year, but I'm working on it earnestly.

[@RonRobertson-lafrance]

@@RickFlood I'm not in a chateau here, either. I'm very sorry for your loss, I lost my husband a bit over 2 years ago, which has been difficult. Bon courage, as they say here. Wishing you all the best for the future.

[@ninafritz2089]

I agree-before I retired several parents with 2-4 children had a running itinerary of extra cirricular activities-crazy! I've been here in Bordeau for the last three weeks with no social media and its been devine! Finding new hiking parks and trying new foods is blessing during these trying times.Merci

[@neilsmart6249]

Just put you on pause getting my popcorn out for the comments section👍👍

[@fontainerouge]

As a French kid, I was ecouraged to find ONE extracurricular activity I might enjoy. The idea was to encourage curiosity & develop a sense of personal accomplishment. No pressure to stick with it. Then when I went to the US as zn exchange students I was pressured to give French lessons to a small group of 4 to 8 year old kids. On top if their piano lessons, sport, etc. Some cried of fatigue, some peed in their pants. I refused after 3 weeks as I felt I was being dragged into child abuse!

[@BaguetteBound]

😥 That's terrible. I hope the rest of your time in the US was less oppressive!

[@fontainerouge]

@BaguetteBound oh yes! Went on to college, had a grand time but pretty far from the conservative middle-class (impossible to manage as a "socialist", social-democrat, French).

[@MikeS29]

You almost never hear the word, "pleasure" in the United States without the word, "guilty" preceding it.

[@BaguetteBound]

Omg, this is so true. I didn't even think about that! Yep.

[@aelitastone5629]

Whoa really ? In France, this is pratically never associated. Even when they are, they didn't really mean a real guilt, it's more an expression.

[@Julius-g2x]

Good video. Life balance is important.

[@RetireToEurope]

The French really embody “Work to live, not live to work”. It’s refreshing to see you embracing it too!

[@aelitastone5629]

So, that mean it's the reverse for American ? When I talk with some, they seems to have a big strong idea of being productive, productive. Even if it cost much.

[@Ellinillard]

another great video. Keep’em coming. I once wrote that Americans seem to be obsessed with “the best”, even during holidays. I want the best hotel in the best area, i wanna try the best croissant, the best onion soup, and have the best view on the Eiffel. I’m always tempted to reply chill out dude, just find a nice place to live, and enjoy a nice coffee and croissant. But this idea of competition is at the heart of US culture, and explains imho this frenzy of activities. It’s also encouraged by the media and reflected in the advertising: be the best you can be, your best version of yourself, .. But, to be fair, Americans and french are not all that different. There’s the same pressure, just to a very different extent. When I was young, my mother sort of forced me into all activités she felt would be useful for my future: rugby, tennis, bridge, singing in a choir, etc. I had to endure that until teen age to,give it up. And over the years, as a business owner, I’ve seen curriculums evolve to present me with a picture of “the best” candidate among French applicants : sport, art activities, charities, basically everything ticked off to present the best image possible. I found it tiresome, and realized during interviews they were not activities they particularly enjoyed but felt compelled by their college to show to compete. So, all in all, the same pressure, even later on life like in college, the main difference is no one expects you to be the next Federer, Pavarotti or Mother Teresa. A welcome relief, especially if you had to roll it all into one person ! And the remark about guilt and pleasure enjoyment is 100% on the dot : Morals play a less significant role in our lives than in the US : pleasure, of all sorts, is quintessential. And it seems to have made a absurd extreme return in US way of life, but it wasn’t always the case: in the 70s it was the opposite, the US were the land of the cool, France and Europe the land of rules. In French, the expressions “cool”, “chill,out”, they’re ultimately a US import. Not being cool is almost the ultimate insult in France. What about in the US today ?

[@BaguetteBound]

Interesting...it almost sounds like French kids the goal is well rounded (bit of many things) and American the goal is "the best", but both can create pressure. Thanks for your comment!

[@gayleparrish625]

I’m hoping to explore this first-hand soon. Merci.

[@EverydayMagicwithJessHook]

Thank you for articulating this so well!

[@michellecbauer]

Another totally on point video! You both look amazing and content. Clearly you made the right move! Love following your journey. 😊

[@BaguetteBound]

Thank you Michelle 😊

[@preachyourstory3452]

1. I love that you used 'excoriated' in conversational English! 2. Some years ago, Will Ferrell starred in a (comedy!) movie 'Kicking and Screaming' - about guy who volunteers to coach a kids' football (soccer) team. He brings pro-level intensity to the task!

[@agnesmichel1286]

Bonjour et merci pour cette nouvelle et toujours interessante vidéo. Je pense que ce n'est pas bien de saturer la vie des enfants, mais aussi des adultes, avec toutes sortes d'activites. Il faut accorder du temps à la lecture, le jeu, la rêverie et même à l'ennui.

[@christtmartin2988]

bonne analyse j'ai adoré cette vidéo. Bonne continuation...

[@LeonardBottleman]

Thank you for the continuing informative content. Here's a comment to feed the algorithm.

[@phil32757]

“If you ain’t first, you’re last”. - Ricky Bobby

[@BaguetteBound]

The movie Jason and I saw on one of our first dates! Ricky Bobby will always have a special place in my heart. 🤣

[@poireauer6517]

And Jean Girard too , i hope ! 😂

[@BaguetteBound]

​@poireaubiener6517 bien sur!! 😘

[@poireauer6517]

@ BaguetteBound Super ! 😄😄👍👍😘😘

[@longlostkryptonian5797]

Great cultural observations! Imagine the horror of a life of relaxation and great food? 😭 what would become of us! 😊

[@katelanxner278]

You are right about the American mindset that you have to EARN leisure time. It is so embedded no one questions it! Great video.

[@aelitastone5629]

America seems to have a verry capitalist vision even in his time no ? Earn everything even your free time ? I couldn't imagine it. If I want free time, I actually just take it in France. I go if I want shopping, or take a nap. Lost my time in a cofee shop XD, Plays games or just think about some idea. Only the needed work can't be taken. But I didn't now that it was this different in America. I understand more some reply to not being "productive".

[@golgotisme]

Very true ! Love all of your videos !

[@BaguetteBound]

Merci!

[@KatieRae_AmidCrisis]

Hey, guys. Just subscribed, after your most popular vid popped up in my recs. (I'm one of your neighbours across La Manche.)

[@Phiyedough]

In USA if they take sport so seriously it must be tough on those kids who are no good at sport. No doubt they will get ridiculed and bullied.

[@ranktube8741]

They make money with university sports. That s why they encourage that

[@DaveGreen-gw6ew]

It makes you wonder if the dream of a top notch sports career is the child's dream or THE parents dream. Looking at it from a football angle the scouts will look at about 100 eight year olds every year knowing that they will be lucky if they get one who's good enough to make a good living at the game.

[@jean-yvesmartin6934]

It's also very much part of the way of Life in many other European Countries, especially the "Latin " Countries...I'm French and a US Resident , and i just think America is a very young Country ( i would not call it a Nation , esp. now ) and has a lot of growing up to do still.

[@oldsambo]

Great video most Americans should watch and learn

[@andrewevans7184]

America is a nation initially founded by the Puritans and the protestant work ethic is deeply ingrained in the nation, for better or worse. Unfortunately, many of your country folk in the Bible belt have held onto the Puritanical part of their faith and culture.

[@davebicker8618]

I'm sure you're spot on with this one - the protestant work ethic demands that you are productive. Sin occurs when one is idle 😂

[@corentineduperche5053]

@@davebicker8618 même en France, il y a un dicton qui dit: 'L'oisiveté est mère de tous les vices"

[@pierrecorin354]

@@corentineduperche5053 c est vrai, mais qu est ce qu on a du plaisir avec ces vices!

[@LizzieJaneBennet]

"Farniente" is an art all mediterraneans are experts in.🏖️😉 Before the arrival of TV, in the small villages, all the summer long, we used to spend the end of the day on a chair or a bench on the sidewalk of our house, just talking with family and friends while keeping an eye on the children playing in the street, and enjoying the freshness of the evening...

[@raphaelcaceres9129]

Yeah, because some worked hard in the fields to provide you food...

[@ElliavVaille]

Merci pour la vidéo

[@davidgardin5775]

Should have more parents like you guys for kids to be happy, more time to observe your kids behavior, love life and help them. Americans family are here to shoot for big house and latest and greatest futures.

[@JackSpinks-p3c]

Great observations kids and very accurate. Took me all my life to slow down. And am not there yet. Keep going. I keep learning from you. Luv ya...Dad

[@PeterRiello]

I found your comment regarding food and Americans really insightful. I also feel that we often exchange actual enjoyments for superficial or superfluous ones, for example scrolling for hours or eating unhealthy quantities of fast food instead of just enjoying a nice meal.

[@raphaelcaceres9129]

Don't worry, in France we are taking the same path. We are not so different from american culture.

[@trorisk]

For sport for children as fun and a place of socialization. The typical example in France is judo. It is a sport that is seen by parents to learn to children socialization, discipline, respect and to do a little bit of gymnastics. Very few children are registered for competitions.

[@Chris-kc3is]

En tout cas , bienvenue en France ❤❤❤

[@erzsebetnilsson580]

Very true is this subject you took up here.

[@marieadriansen2925]

Je suis contente de savoir que le rythme des activités para scolaires convienne à Juliana. J'avais peur qu'elle souffre de ne pas en avoir assez ! I'm happy to know that the rhythm of extracurricular activities suits Juliana. I was afraid that she would suffer from not having enough!

Very interesting to learn about American culture! Yes in france we have a culture of enjoying life because it's exactly what makes you productive and creative

[@gweisa899]

I was a child who did many activities as a child. I always had soccer, gymnastic, or tutoring session. Somehow I still manage to have free time. When children join competitive sports it takes the parents their own time back and forth to practice and games. It takes alot.

[@eye_tee]

thank you

[@zeitgeist888]

I think a good portion of the mindset for Americans is related to college. The need for all the extracurricular activities to get in to college or for limited scholarships are part of the push as well as the societal pressure that everyone has to go to college. I was in baseball, basketball scouting and soccer as a kid but never had any pressure to do any of them by family or for school. I did not get a traditional 4 year degree and yet was able to retire in my 40s with a middle class blue collar upbringing and no lottery or inheritance help. Minimalism was a big part as was the change in mindset of living life for my situation not society nor social media influence. Even friends who retired since often ask what I do and scoff when I say I no longer work and just enjoy life traveling and enriching activities. Lose friends and family to disease and death and the reality should become clear.

[@davebicker8618]

In 1986 I was hitchhiking in N. France. It was beautiful weather, and i stopped for a drink in a local bar. It was called 'La Musardiére'. I don't think a good translation to English exists 🙂 I think it's similar to 'doing very little, with no intention of doing so either ' I ended up spending two weeks there, doing exactly that 🤣

[@BaguetteBound]

Lol! What a great story!

[@elizzy8754]

I think it means something like "idleness". But, when we are seemingly doing nothing, in fact the brain is definitely working hard on another plane. It's a vital occupation for human beings. I definitely make time to be idle😉

[@davebicker8618]

​@@BaguetteBound it was a wonderful time. I'd nip in every day, and try in my best French, to converse. The couple who ran it were quite delightful, and their kindness was wonderful to see.

[@raphaelcaceres9129]

​@@elizzy8754yes it is important to sometimes do nothing. But having too much time to think makes you anxious. After a good day of physical work, you feel good mentally. And you don't have time for negative thoughts.

[@cyrille9049]

Wednesday, le jour des enfants !

[@zilone2083]

Votre description du système américain me rappel un peu celui de la Corée du Sud, en moins extrême quand même :) C'est surtout la culture de la compétitivité qui commence parfois très très jeune, voir trop jeune. J'imagine d'après ce que vous dites , qu'il doit y avoir une pression social qui doit faire culpabiliser les parents.😐 J'en fatigue rien que d'y penser.😴 Je pense que tout dans la vie est une question de dosage, le sport, l'alcool, le travaille. Faire tout en excès fini par rendre malade. Merci pour vos témoignages et analyses, vos points de vus sont toujours très intéressant, même pour des français. Espérons juste que la vie continue dans ce sens en France, car ça pourrait changer dans un avenir proche.😗

[@nurisrubio4383]

Awesome video ! Can you make a videos showing around your town to get to know how look like guys ?

[@mireille4751]

They already did it in a previous video.

[@elleeg.9413]

Great perspective.

[@Saul-jv6hr]

I liked Julianna’ s chocolate dance, cute and fun. I totally agree with you we need more time to relax and enjoy our lives. The rat race is getting old and boring. And I don’t know if it’s just me but people are less friendly or courteous than before here in the states lately. What happened to us ? What region of France are you at ? I heard good things about the Alsace. What do you think??

[@mfcq4987]

Alsace is a beautiful region, but very cold in winter and very hot in summer. All regions have their charm, it depends on what you are looking for...

[@mireille4751]

They are in Dordogne, in South-West France, a very pleasant region famous for its British community.

[@FredericInnocenti]

Bravo les baguettes ! Contrôler notre vie plutôt que la laisser nous contrôler 🫠

[@paulin1606]

I heard an interview a few months ago from MUSK ; Scary! in short, he said : if i hire u (in my company) u belong to me, day and night! if necessary u work 100h a week...... i am french and certainly not SIR, won't happen with me , i dont care how much u pay, my life is mine, not yours, and more important than ur money!! nor in france, i think u could find someone here in my country who would accept that!!.....U can keep ur job!

[@ALAINGONZALES]

Merci

[@biankakoettlitz6979]

Great video❤ As an European I never got why it's soooo very important to Americans to retire early. Thanks to your videos, I understand it now. I just want to mention that we as Europeans have also the concept that quitting is bad and you must to commit to a sport or something like it, but I don't know how we get taught it as a kid. Different, I think😄

[@utilisateurlambda7983]

J'ai commencé ma vie à l'envers. J'ai beaucoup voyagé jeune et profité de la vie. J'ai commencé à penser à la retraite à partir de 45 ans. J'ai fait jeune ce que d'autres font à la retraite. J'ai ainsi nourri mon esprit pour toute ma vie en premier et ensuite viendra le temps ou je bougerais moins vite et me pauserais au calme.

[@Diego-tl8ub]

"le temps c'est de l'argent !!! mais l'argent n'est pas du temps et nous avons en réalité plus besoin de temps que d'argent . Avec le temps on peut tout faire, tout vivre, tant que ça ne coûte pas beaucoup d'argent !

[@jasonlockwood7992]

I'm sure I was raised at a time the plethora of activities wasn't the norm in American life. My parents never pushed me to participate in all the extracurriculars. In my time outside school hours, I mostly spent time on my own or with a friend, sometimes two. I read a lot as a kid (and still do), I biked around, explored the city I grew up in (Milwaukee) when I was old enough to ride the bus on my own. Once I hit high school, the only extracurricular activity I got involved with was the AFS club. And I did that because I wanted to get to know the foreign students in my school, and also prepare myself to be an exchange student myself. Flash forward 40 years and I STILL love my leisure activities: reading, writing, travelling, dining out, dinner parties, etc. I don't now nor have I ever felt the need to stuff my life with productive activities. The result, ironically, is I've lived a full life. And that's pretty darn wonderful.

[@ludwigmarzin579]

This observation on the way of seeing life is very interesting from a sociological point of view. I think it also corresponds to a stage of political evolution of states and in relation to the global role of a specific State. When, for centuries, Europe was preparing for the next war every 20 years, each generation was trained to produce the best of itself for a question of survival. No room for a relaxed life. There were of course pleasant moments, but life was hard, very hard. Today, the world is in the same situation as Europe was a century ago. The USA is like one of our countries that was preparing for war at the time. I noticed it when I was in the USA but also in Japan. It reminded me of what my grandparents told me about life before in Europe (we live on the France-Germany border). We forgot that in Europe for 80 years because we lived a period of peace that was quite unique in our history. Unfortunately, it is not the rule, but the exception, and we can fear that it is coming to an end. When someone says that Europeans are from Venus and Americans are from Mars, it is because this person has never opened a history book. In the long term, it is the opposite. Let us still enjoy this good time and this "European way of life", while we have it. Perhaps the best thing we have invented together in 20 centuries, after Pax Romana.

[@jandamskier6510]

"a little extreme"??? You are very polite, indeed.

[@ben-ek9ct]

Le thème est intéressant. Ma pensée a commencé à vagabonder et à faire le parallèle avec une vie remplie de travail et de vertu pour mériter l'accès au paradis. Il est envisageable que la séparation de l'État et de la religion ait un effet positif sur les individus et leur qualité de vie. De nos jours, la pression sociale peut avoir le même effet, en réalité. En tout cas, chouette vidéo merci.

[@raphaelcaceres9129]

Pourtant, les paysans au moyen-age avaient environ un tiers de jours non travaillés. Entre le dimanche, les jours fériés (nombreux), les fêtes... Et l'hiver...ils étaient loin de travailler autant que ce que l'on pense. Par contre, les seigneurs et le clergé faisaient de leur mieux pour supprimer des jours fériés. Mais, la religion n'était qu'une excuse à cela. C'est à la révolution industrielle que les ouvriers ont eu les pires charges de travail de l'histoire (j'ai récemment lu un article sur le fait qu'un certain nombre d'ouvriers d'usines aux philippines il me semble, retournent dans leurs campagnes, car ils ont justement + de temps entres autres). En conclusion, ce n'est pas la séparation qui a baissé la charge de travail, mais la mécanisation.

[@ben-ek9ct]

@@raphaelcaceres9129 Je vais préciser que je parlais de psychologie, ou plutôt de mentalité en fait, et ce n'est qu'une pensée vagabonde qui m'avais traversé l'esprit en regardant cette vidéo. Ce n'est pas grâce à la mécanisation que les citoyens ont bénéficié de plus de temps libres et de meilleures conditions de travail. C'est un ensemble d'événements qui s'étend sur de nombreuses décennies, de Germinal de Zola aux accords de Matignon il y a plus de cinquante ans, et qui dépasse également le cadre de la révolution industrielle. C'est un sujet complexe, il ne faut pas trop le réduire, car cela dévalorise le combat des personnes qui se sont battues pour les droits dont nous profitons aujourd'hui et pour lesquels il faut continuer à se battre. En tout cas pour les paysans du Moyen Âge, je ne savais pas qu'ils étaient déjà aux 35 heures voire moins. En même temps, une fois que tu as payé tes impôts, ce n'est pas grave si tu n'as plus une thune, y'a pas de smartphone dernier cri à acheter pour se la péter à la messe du dimanche. Et je ne connais rien de la culture des Philippines, mais il me semble qu'ils ont un gros sens des valeurs familiales, communautaires et sociales, mais j'en sais rien xD. Tout ce que je sais, c’est que je ne sais rien - Merci l'ami pour les infos ;) Peace.

[@raphaelcaceres9129]

@@ben-ek9ct pour le coup, la mécanisation post moderne a bien libéré du temps. On est passés de paysans à des ouvriers travaillant des horaires jamais vus, non rythmés par la nature. Effectivement, je suis d'accord que ça n'est pas "naturellement" que l'on travaille moins aujourd'hui. Ce n'est pas pour négliger les combats passés. Mais cette automatisation a participé à un nouveau changement des mentalités permettant plus de temps libre.

[@Belaziraf]

There are structures and sports club that shape you for professional or competition activities. But you have to look for them or have your kid recommended by an instructor who think she or he has a future in it. Then again, like you stated, most instructors (the vast majority) just want kids to enjoy themselves while achieving some sort of result. Not necessarily success. Moreover, extracurricular activities are not mandatory. So it's normal that the choice of the kid have to let him enjoy it.

[@reneclaude6711]

Il existe un vieux proverbe allemand qui dit : Glücklich wie Gott in Frankreich » (Heureux comme Dieu en France). C'est un proverbe d'origine Yiddish qui date de l'époque de la Révolution Française qui a émancipé les Juifs et leur a donné la pleine citoyenneté. Puisque je suis dans le domaine religieux, j'ai toujours pensé que la culture américaine du travail provient d'une mentalité protestante qui prétend que tout ce qui n'est pas travail a une relation avec le péché. La France, non seulement était à majorité catholique mais a éradiqué presque totalement la religion de la sphère publique avec sa conception de la laïcité et la séparation totale des églises et de l'Etat. La morale religieuse n'a donc plus rien à voir dans l'organisation de la société et reste du ressort d'une conviction et d'un exercie personnel, ce qui est loin d'exister aux USA.

[@raphaelcaceres9129]

Sauf que c'est à la révolution industrielle que les ouvriers sont ceux qui ont eu le + de travail. La religion était juste un prétexte pour les élites de l'époque, pour les faire travailler plus. Les paysans au moyen-age avaient environ un tiers de jours non travaillés.

[@kenhunt5153]

Like most places in the States the afternoon rush starts around 2 pm. Cars start lining up 30 minutes before the end of school. About 80 vehicles at the elementary school by use...most idling. Only bad parents or grandparents skip picking up their kids. Ugh...

[@BaguetteBound]

I'm having US parent guilt flashbacks...🙁 That was also the feeling if you didn't have your kid in ENOUGH activites, like you're depriving them.

[@michelesauret7779]

Travaux forcés à perpétuité.....au profit des plus riches

[@raphaelcaceres9129]

We have the same middle aged moms. We call them "maman scénic". They are always in a rush. And they all park badly in the street.