Why and how I attempted suicide

[@greendogusa]

Dear Carson, My grandmother and brother committed suicide. I now have a 14 year old daughter and 12 year old son. This is my biggest fear for them. Thank you for your insight and guidance.

[@leesathwaits5871]

We carry the burdens and pain of our ancestors. The best thing for you to do with those children is not to live in the past or focus on the pain/suicide. You will pass this energy onto them unknowingly. Be in the light and show your kids the path to the light. I too am living with a live passing from suicide

[@pambennett4859]

Thank you for sharing to help others. I lost my 22 year old to suicide in 2017. He had depression and anxiety. I cry everyday missing him. I lean on Jesus everyday to help me cope.

[@ihave1i947]

you coming back to a sport after an injury like that is so inspiring. glad you’re here man❤️

[@TmzRlol]

i don’t know you but i’m glad you’re alive

[@sabbaticaljoe4483]

The 2 most important days in your life: the day you were born and the day you learned why. Consider this: Many victims only want the pain to stop and don’t want to die. A common diagnosis for many preteens & teens is “adjustment disorder” or “situational depression”, and as the brain develops becomes less dangerous. Keep doing what you’re doing!

[@smegmatic308]

What do you mean "the day you learned why (you were born)"?

[@emilydodge9409]

ur so brave for sharing ur story , i’m so glad ur still here ❤️❤️

[@shaniabryant6033]

With borderline personality disorder I have thoughts of suicide many times a month and it's hard to fight them off and I have episodes where I do attempt but the past 2 years I have fought them off long enough to not even cut myself and I'm almost 22 so it's ever lasting but I hope with the motivation and encouragement from your story and the way your mom explains it will help me handle situations and my episodes better

[@Me-ih3ge]

One of my best friends has attempted suicide many times and has suffered from severe depression ... at times I feel hopeless because I am only human there’s so much advice and encouragement one can give and lend an ear... to vent on... the best thing I have always advised even when he doesn’t want to admit it at first ... but after the tears and emotions pour out ... he knows only GOD gave him the comfort I couldn’t ... I only started the prayer GOD did the rest... please know GOD is real please know GOD is the only ONE that can change your point of view on the desire and emotions that seem to take over ... the more you trust in GOD the more he’ll provide a drastic change for the better... he’s the best lending ear to vent on... GOD BLESS YOU!

[@tiishue]

I'm so proud of you! I'm so sorry you went through/are going through that. Never stop fighting x i believe in you!xx

[@rated1700]

I just got diagnosed with it and it's hectic like i can be super mad then super sad and so on it's just idk bad

[@duecespigalomcjigglo679]

Why did you have those thoughts?

[@gethina-come7885]

@@duecespigalomcjigglo679 sometimes you just didnt know, it's just sort of happen

[@nacolekalish2909]

My son attempted suicide a couple months ago. He was gone and brought back now has a TBI on top of his mental health. I want to say THANK YOU so much for sharing and speaking out! Keep sharing it can keep a mom strong and can save a life ! Thank you hero!

[@dayydw]

You and your mom are so well spoken and inspiring! I have no doubts your story and what you guys are doing to share this with the world will help so many children and families. ❤️ God bless!!

[@rickyn1135]

Thank you for being so courages and brave and sharing your Story. I hope this helps many,many young people to talk to someone if they’re feeling deeply sad.......I was diagnosed with Manic depression,ADHD & PTSD but not until I was an adult. I had a really strict,abusive Dad. The good part about that;he had me convinced If I killed myself,he’d bring me back to life and beat me ,till I wished I was dead. I hope and wish Schools would teach Psychology to students at the least start,at the 7th grade level. God bless you.

[@cmolle3540]

Really sorry to hear that, glad I can helo

[@N-xi2zh]

minus the meds and the med damage.

[@lindseyw30]

My son is 14 and I’ve never really heard of crisis in the moment. I appreciate this video sooooo much and am going to talk with my son more and try to fill his “toolbox”. This is such an important video!!! Thank you so much for doing it!

[@mijb23]

Your survival is going to save a bunch of lives. As a mother of a teenage boy, this is something every parent should be aware of. Thanks for sharing your story. You are very brave 💕

[@nickcarter1219]

I'm glad you are still here bud. Your story is inspiring. I had a friend who committed suicide on February 21, 2017. He was 18, and just three days before his 19th birthday. It saddens me that he was successful. You are extremely blessed to still be here. I wish you the best in life ahead.

[@cmolle3540]

I’m really sorry for your loss

[@Matt-cu8ly]

Really needed this. I've been really struggling with my mental health lately because of my severe anxiety and stress levels. I finally told my parents and I think I'm going to go and see a therapist.

[@misstakenidenity]

Thank you so much for sharing your story and thanks to your mother as well. My nephew hung himself a cpl months ago, he was 17. There were no signs at all. I really think his mom would benefit so much by hearing your story. This may or may not be what happened in his case but it sure sounds possible. I’m so glad you’re still here. May God bless you, Mom & the rest of your family, as well as everyone who may read this comment. If you, or someone you know needs help please reach out, you do matter, you are loved, needed and important. ❤️

[@gregbaker3701]

First off, I’m so glad you’re here! I’m a father and a teacher and I truly appreciate your bravery to share and help others with your story! Thank you!

[@jennifersanchez1680]

I like the the fact you distinguished the two factors. As a mom who experienced the same type of event, its true I had no clue. Even a seasoned mom with another child with mental health...it blind sided me. Now I’m more involved in monitoring their mental health!

[@ambermattmolle5124]

Absolutely agree! Our daughter has anxiety so we thought we knew about mental health. We had no idea it could be like this. Stay well and hang in there!

[@rotfaun2852]

Bro, you have balls of steel, Respect! You are a strong person! We love you! I’m glad you are here with us!

[@jennydebolt1072]

I lost a sister and my Dad to suicide 4 years apart. What I learned the most from this is they don’t “decide”, “take their life”, “kill themselves”, “commit” suicide. When we put an actionable verb on the person, we take away from mental health. They don’t do this to themselves or decide. They are sick and the sick brain takes over. A person in their right mind would not do this. To that point, the sick brain disabled their right mind. We need to help people learn coping skills to your point in this video. I wish we did this in high schools. We wouldn’t judge someone who dies from diabetes or liver disease. We would understand that their organ wasn’t functioning. The same is true of the brain. We need better understanding of this in the world. I’m writing a book on this topic and I, just as you, do community work to help others. I appreciate you being vulnerable to help others.

[@ambermattmolle5124]

Thank you for saying all that! It is spot on. So much of this is brain based and that NEEDS to be a part of our studies into suicide. I truly appreciate you watching and your feedback. Be well❤️

[@tmccabe1313]

Lost my dad a few months back to the same thing. Wish he would of talked to me. I’m glad you are still here with your family. Thank you

[@Jax-jx5uu]

you're still here for a reason, young man. thank you for sharing your story; you are helping so many others. and i love a supportive, knowledgeable mom!!!

[@sarahnicole3206]

Carson, it was really emotional for me watching your video on truly, and as a mother of two sons I cannot imagine what you and your family have been through. Your message and your story mean something to other kids out there that may be going through some of the same feelings that you did....and it means something to us parents too. Stay blessed... never give up, never surrender!

[@justinmetcalf8737]

Carson and Mama Carson, Thank you for posting this! Please don’t ever stop sharing your story and motivation. I have 3 kids, and I look forward to sharing this video with them. You are living in a much different world than we did growing up, and I don’t think I recognize that often enough. I’m grateful for your courage to share your story with the world. You’re a gift, and you’re here for a reason. God bless

[@Tanya49655]

My sister successfully shot herself in the head 6 yrs ago next month I can’t explain to you how happy and lucky you and your family must be and I pray you see that now ❤️ good luck on your journey despite not knowing you I love you❤️

[@johnmaksym]

I’m grateful to see you sitting there with your mom. I have loved ones who are not as fortunate. You’re incredibly brave to share your story like this and I know you are helping people by doing so. A friend of mine started a community called Stand Strong, aimed at giving teens a safe and judgement free environment to have a voice, share their struggles to a supportive community, listen, lean on, learn and grow with each other. I haven’t really talked to him much during the pandemic but I could connect you if you were interested in being a guest during one of his zoom calls. Thanks for sharing your story here.

[@baysholdren6715]

As someone who has suffered with depression & suicidal thoughts since college, I had never thought about someone going into such despair so quickly. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@maddiehawkins7613]

Just found you on tik tok and I’m now subscribed to your KZbin as well! Thank you for sharing your story, you are going to help so many people! We are all so glad you’re here ❤️

[@cadewoolsey58]

Man, God is so good! He brought you through your experience for a purpose! So awesome that you found the good in the situation and are using it for helping others! True blessing to this world!

[@RynoRyder]

God bless you, your mother and your whole family. I am in tears watching you. I found you on TT and had to hear you whole story. I’ll be 40 this year and I almost took my life only a couple years ago. I have bipolar disorder and was ready to end it all. I got through it and do as much as I can to bring awareness to mental health and suicide. You have so much strength inside you, I find it uncontrollably inspiring. Thank you again for sharing your story. I am so thankful you are alive. God Bless. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🖤🖤🖤

[@alejandroaguilar4517]

Beautiful just seeing you hug your mom in the very beginning man, may God bless you and help you stay on a good path for the rest of your life bro 🙏🏼❤️

[@layaldergham3824]

You’re really brave for sharing such a personal aspect of your life. Thank you for posting this, it’s going to help a lot of people, myself included

[@livijalangberg7822]

Your mom is so sweet, I know she must be so proud of you.

[@sasa2966]

Thank you for shedding a light on such a difficult topic. My boyfriend committed suicide a few years ago and no one would have ever expected it. We HAVE to have those hard conversations. They’re so important. You are amazing! I’m so glad you’re still here to educate others.

[@cmolle3540]

I’m very sorry for your loss

[@88dsharp89]

I’m so glad you’re still here and I’m an athlete and you inspire me

[@missunderstood4]

As a mom & a person that has struggled w mental health issues my whole life your story really touches me....YOU are amazing,idk you bt im glad you are alive.....MUCH LOVE FROM NORTH CAROLINA...❤💜

[@charliek12]

I’m glad you’re still here❤️

[@OkieAllDay]

Hey bud. I just wanted to say that I am so thankful that you are still alive! You have a lot of life left to live. I don't know what is in your future, but I know that Jesus loves you and has a plan for your life :) God bless you, brother

[@jj7268]

So glad you're alive! Thank you for sharing. I lost my sister to suicide in 2017. Always keep fighting. Life is hard but so many people are here for you and love you!

[@CuBeKilla]

Hey Carson, I’m the guy who congratulated you at the movie theatre this past Friday. I wanted to mention that it is very inspiring and graceful to know you’re doing what you can to take care of yourself and learning how to help yourself. I’ve had 2 best friends in the last two years commit suicide, and it’s incredible to see you continue your journey.

[@bschannel4041]

I’m so glad that you are still here! God is Great🙏🏽. God bless you!

[@mdgsmith2010]

Thank you so much - both of you for sharing! Such important information!! I'm so happy you survived Carson. You're helping us parents who can in turn help our kids.

[@bubba_sawyer]

Happy you’re here, dude. What you’re doing now is amazing. Thank you!!

[@gingerjepps3724]

So glad you’re still here hunny! How long had you been feeling suicidal? Was it literally just a day or a month? Just trying to fully understand HOW quick it was. Much ❤️

[@cmolle3540]

Just a day

[@makeupandfashionluvr]

So glad you’re here and thank you for sharing your story ❤️

[@ingram4896]

I went from watching videos about antidepressants to watching videos about suicide that's how fuc*ed up and hopeless my life is right now I just want the pain to end so badly I'm so sick of pretending being happy around familly and friends . I Don't recognize my self anymore . 😪

[@blackcloud445]

Hey, know it's been 6 month since and I wanna know if everything is okay with your life

[@jennamachado2232]

Thank you so much for sharing. You are amazing. I am a huge advocate for mental illness and mental health and I am so proud of you for sharing your story ❤️

[@gabriellebellizzi8227]

I suffer from depression and anxiety/ suicidal thoughts. And I’ve been there. I’ve attempted suicide over 17 times. And I’m so glad that your still here. My sister attempted suicide and my mom found her unconscious and she was in a coma for a week. 🥺luckily she made it thru but the hardest week of our lives. But I hate having depression especially at night my thoughts are worse. But the last times I felt suicidal was 4 weeks ago and I had pills in my hands I was so close to taking them but I didn’t. My biggest attempt was OD and spitting my throat. Anyway your here for a reason. You have a wonderful mom♥️♥️

[@gabriellebellizzi8227]

Slitting my throat *

[@staceyfoberg936]

Your son is a wonderful strong gentleman. You are an Angel, Carson. Thank You for sharing your journey for others.

[@morganfindleton3361]

You are so inspiring!!!! I am so glad you are here and alive and telling your story. It takes so much strength to talk about your story and inspire so many. I struggle with mental illness and hearing your story gives me strength. Thank you for your kindness and spreading mental health awareness!!💜

[@loqis2105]

I’m so happy that you’re here. You’re so brave for sharing this!! 💗💗💗💗

[@cyndil7771]

Thank you for your story. Very inspirational. I’m glad that you survived and are able to enjoy this beautiful life you’ve been given. I’m sure so many people love you. I have three daughters (two teens) and they mean the world to me. I know your mom is so grateful that you are still here.

[@handcrafted30]

The strength of you and your family is remarkable and inspiring. You have a lot to give, please don’t burn out by trying to do much too soon. You have a whole life ahead of you.

[@miah2541]

Hello there, So glad you are here and see a whole new perspective on life. I just lost a dear friend to su1c1de a couple weeks ago. He was the most gentle, kind soul that would do anything for anyone and I wish I knew a way to help him. I do understand that we cannot ever feel what others are feeling but we can check on our friends more. We can show unconditional love, kindness and empathy towards others..even total strangers. It just might change a person's day. I miss my friend so much today I just want to say to you, you are a beautiful person and brave making videos on awareness. Thank you for speaking out and I'm so glad you've got your mom's loving support here Bless you and bless your life.

[@TheeBeardedCanadian]

Your not only a boss, but an inspiration to all 👏👏 thanks for keeping it real and sharing your story!

[@stephanienavarra7167]

Thank you for sharing your experience! I found you on tiktok and I will be sending this to anyone I know who might benefit from it. I love your courageousness and sweet soul. You are truly making a difference in the world! ❤

[@1005DG]

So so glad you're here to share your story and that you have such an amazing Mom. You are loved!

[@nat7cast123]

everyone loves you

[@abbydecker6679]

thank you for sharing. it brings so much perspective to everyone. i hope you’re doing well! can’t wait for more videos ❤️❤️

[@ridesharedougie728]

Thanks again for sharing your story! Your strength and courage to speak out is commendable. Love to you and your family.

[@sammccormick8639]

Very important to shed light on this very serious topic. You are one of my inspirations and I love what you are doing by spreading this message. ❤️

[@carriebifulco8077]

You’re so inspiring! Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share your story. It is going to help so many ppl!

[@Bedheadeadhead]

Thank you for sharing your story. I saw you on tiktok, originally. Wow! Is all I can say. The drive and spirit you have amazes me. Keep up the great work and know you are an inspiration to so many people out here in this crazy world!

[@cphillips4481]

Thank you for so bravely sharing your story. You've touched so many people and you're such an inspiration! Keep doing you!

[@paulblake5150]

I’ve been praying for you since your first video I hope you feel better.

[@Fishfood94]

I love you buddy, glad you’re here with us still ❤

[@plutoniac5320]

Thank you man. I know life doesn't make sense. We are life, Without us nothing exists , If i die The world will stop existing for me, So nothing exists at all just me. So you are life man, It doesn't matter how we look. The only thing that matters is to Become the best version of ourself. To achieve Enlightenment And to escape from this reality. You have a lot to learn before you die. Pls Learn everything that comes in your life , Make it stay within you. You have Died without Dying, So it is the time to be born As a new man now. Much love

[@paisleyandailce5615]

Thank you for more information about teens and suicide awareness. I have grandchildren that probably need to hear this and have those hard conversations with.

[@samgarson9242]

Hey I’m one of the people that comment on all of your tik toks. I’m glad that you are still here 🙂

[@sylvettestokes]

Thank you for sharing your story to help others in need. You are a VERY special person and God has kept you here for a reason. God bless you and your family 🙏🏻♥️🙏🏻

[@unacceptablecodyberg1402]

Im glad your teaching people about this. I dont want to lose anymore friends and im sure its not easy to talk about. Stay strong and stay happy folks. 🙂

[@72veerle]

Damn you just made a man cry respect! And i hope that you can live like everyone does!

[@brianablack4422]

I'm so glad that your okay and that you have two great parents that are on your side. Please stay safe and be healthy

[@Clintstagram]

I don't know you folks, but I was almost there once. cPTSD went misdiagnosed and I was on the verge of being another veteran suicide. God delivered me from suicidal thoughts, alcoholism, and the guilt I've carried back from the Middle East 20 years ago. In 2018, my cousin took his own life. He was just 6 months older than me. He had been baptized but it wasn't legit. When we take control of our own life and death, we're excluding God from the equation. I'm glad YOU made it through your attempt. Bless your heart.

[@valkat3339]

Thank you for sharing your story. I am grateful you made it out alive and that it wasn't easy. You and your family have inspired me to help others in their struggles with mental health. God loves you all.

[@libertychic8926]

Hi! I just found u on tik tok and then had to come here to listen to your story! So glad you're still here man!

[@libertychic8926]

Oh, subscribed here and following on the tok! 👊

[@clairelarge9178]

Thank you so much for your openness - this is much needed. Lots of love ❤️

[@frankclements1431]

I suffer with chronic depression and am often times sad. But I never consider suicide.

[@Nairobikbal]

You are here for reason! ❤❤❤ thank you for sharing ur story

[@famousjane927]

Just so happy to see you are here with us still !. ❤️

[@scotverdin9401]

Followed you over here from Tik Tok We love this kid! !!! You do good work.

[@XElegantkaos]

Your incredible. I’m glad your here! Keep on this path .. your an inspiration!

[@blackcloud445]

I'm actually late here I never saw you before but god I'm so happy you're still there, please remember everyday you are worth it and there always people that loves you I'm so glad it didnt happen!💙

[@lina_forever44]

Thank you sm for sharing your story with us you are one brave amazing person I’m glad your still here pls keep sharing your story your amazing ❤️❤️

[@hyunook21]

Thanks for sharing your story. You're a beautiful person, and I wish you achieve many great things in your future life.

[@grantgoldberg1663]

You're so lucky you have such a loving mom.

[@LESSERAPHITES]

Thanks for being here. I appreciate you! ❤️

[@Gina19876]

Not always mental health. Bullying causes depression. Depression causes suicide. Family members such as spouses and teens with learned behaviour of the disrespect they see can suck the life out of someone to the extent they take their lives even sometimes making a way of escape in the hope they will be loved enough to be stopped.

[@Brandon1984mn]

Glad you pulled through! You are loved man!

[@jeffcunningham308]

Keep up the good work man. Can’t wait for more amazing content

[@jesusloveisthegreatestpower]

💝 Happy you are alive and sharing your story. This video will help so many people. 💝

[@darealshottaaagilly9809]

God bless bro stay strong man your family loves and needs you.

[@allyymcelroy8844]

thank you for this . at this point in time , i needed this ❤️

[@ghazalsboudoir2892]

now I realized that I ain't the only one struggling. Thank you so much.

[@elizabethlopez4683]

Very informational & necessary to know! Thank you for sharing your experience and your knowledge! You are helping soo many people! ❤️

[@robinpostell4348]

Despair is such a dull thud trigger. I understand. Thanks for sharing this.

[@extremebassboostedsongs9505]

Hey bro, doesn't matter what u look like! Your amazing dude❤️

[@zacharymcneely6039]

❤❤❤❤ incredible this video exists. You are loved

[@esquiviasmaria9462]

You inspire me so much. thank you for your videos❤️

[@mandyt9844]

your mom is so so pretty 🥺🥺😍

[@Philliptheking]

Thank you for sharing, you’re an inspiration 🙏