Why Are Some People So Stupid Over A Man?

Chile, it's some ish going on around me and I need to get this junk off my chest. I've never quite understood how people stay in relationships that deplete them of their life force and their financial resources. It just doesn't make sense. Someone please help me understand the reasons why so many people are stuck on stupid over. men?

[@elizamack6281]

“Don’t nobody fall in love faster than a man that ain’t got nowhere to stay”.

[@dominicanprincess2051]

You ain't NEVER lied 😂

[@ClowneryAtItsFinest]

Bloop!

[@thisheadofmine]

😩😩😩

[@milz5032]

Lol

[@canthide207]

Or one that's in PRISON and need money.....

[@NewEyes25]

People that can't be single are afraid of that awkward silence.But that awkward silence is where you find yourself and growth begins.

[@ms-ti1240]

New Eyes DAMN!!!!!! So true #6yrs single single

[@mrspgrew]

Well said!

[@phinazeetrevor]

You find yourself in God 😇😭😂😂

[@phinazeetrevor]

Jesus is the only man you need!😆😄

[@sheurekamontgomery9992]

💯💯💯💯

[@vernedaraquel]

In the words of Iyanla Vanzant “When you are love starved, you will eat anything”

[@evitathediva371]

PREACH!!

[@leahthomas5003]

SAD, BUT TRUE!!!!!!!

[@NoOtherRose]

That’s it!!! Options few and far between, standards lowered. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@804smiles]

True tea!

[@kaylaporter2340]

I Felt That 👌🏾❤

[@TheeAntisocialXxtrovert]

In the words of Ms. Funky Dineva Ross..."NOT WIT MY GOT DAMN MONEY!" 😂😂😂😂

[@eboni257]

🤣😂🤣🤣

[@leelohaskin7941]

Naw that's the the player's club 🤣🤣male tha money dont let it make you💵💵

[@46dirtyred]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@lafronyaharris3764]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@heleneclark563]

My motto is: Don’t park your feet under my dining table, unless you can put something on top of it.

[@sparkswolverine]

Girl, I’m finna use this saying in my personal life. I love this.

[@teridmills]

I love it!

[@teelovingandlivinglife839]

Have to share this motto

[@Christycheri92479]

🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@GoldSag1]

@Judith Rhice ok! I still joke with my husband whom I've been with for 21yrs. "If you buy it, I'll fry it". LOL

[@jascapricorn4326]

SELF love is the best LOVE. And so many women just don't love themselves enough.

[@tonym4745]

Not only women.. a lot of men dont have self love. People tend to accept what they feel they are worthy of. Some people never learn how to love and be committed to anything let alone another human. You just gotta learn what YOU stand for and have passion towards before you go depending on receiving happiness from someone else.

[@deeliciousgrapes]

I believe that the love of GOD is the best love. Without God, u are empty and will never have anything to offer yourself or others. Period.

[@Rhedd30]

Idk I have a bad self esteem but I love being single so I'm not sure what that says about me 🤣

[@roses4me451]

Women need to read this book: "The BEST kind of Loving" by Dr. Gwendolyn Goldsby-Grant. She lays it on the line about "self-love". As women, we are taught to love, care for, nuture, and take care of EVERYBODY else....except ourselves.

[@beautifullwhitehead3037]

That's so true PREACH!!!

[@TaurusBabe111]

People ain’t looking for love, they looking for help💁🏽‍♀️

[@PhillyMiMi215]

She’s your Kqween yesss

[@asiahwalker2007]

She’s your Kqween exactly! I know quite a few.

[@tricejackson7548]

You ain’t never lied

[@tikal19]

She’s your Kqween ain’t it the truth. These fuckboys don’t want love they want your wallet. It’s so sad that dudes are just looking for the next person to take care of them. It’s weak and pathetic at the same damn time.

[@kekelah7857]

U ain't lying

[@PiscesSun_Capricornrising]

Society has taught women that they come last. Children and men are often put first traditionally. Lack of self worth make them think they dont deserve better than what they already have.

[@SweetSerenity_247]

BlackWomanUSA _22 this is sooooooooooooo incredibly true...I think it’s especially true for black women. It’s actually sad that many women don’t know they it’s ok to say no and put your needs and wants above others at times. Many women aren’t taught they matter....it goes very deep but I’m going to leave it right there; they ain’t ready for the truth...😔

[@MsFitKitty]

BlackWomanUSA _22 girl preach! I hate that. My saying now is “ before I’m anything else in this world I’m a woman first!” I have to make time for self in order to contribute anyone else

[@SASCaesar]

Agree! Though sadly sometimes they’ll (the women) put the man before the children when it’s NOT in their best interest cuz that man certainly isn’t ANYONE before his selfish ______ insert word/phrase of choice (that goes for deadbeat biological ‘fathers’ & mooching passers-through...)

[@RACHELEVETTE1]

BlackWomanUSA _22 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@LilithTheAquarian369]

That’s called burnt toast syndrome! Nope I come first. Because if I don’t I can’t properly take care of the family, mentality, physically and spiritually!

[@alwall3]

Being stupid for love is for your teens & 20's Its a learning experience When you know better you do better

[@wokenmillennial]

Thank god because i thought i was stupid at 19 for making mistakes..still i hope i dont have to suffer many more

[@Metaphysicalmindspace777]

Lee Wallace Early 20s. Like before 25.

[@wokenmillennial]

@@Metaphysicalmindspace777 Well i got 6 years to get smart.But tbh im learning alot.Social Media has changed the game for millenials.Dating isnt what it was.Its a myth now.

[@meannadine3546]

But love is more in your 30s

[@meannadine3546]

Some of us breathe love. I've got a good husband btw. But ime sometimes you got to get good and fed up to find love.

[@DivaDivaFashionista]

My 🐱don’t purr for no ninja that would let me struggle

[@tonym4745]

Divadiva!!!!! I'm talking Sahara desert dry. Sandcastle... sand paper... bone dry... bit, buy me a leak please.

[@sweetbrownsuga504]

🎯

[@smartin1734]

🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

[@teridmills]

Nope not anymore in the words of Latoya luckett

[@EverydayGworl]

Yessss girl!!!

[@Deon82]

"Do his business..." that's some Color Purple ish right there!

[@empressi79]

Ain't it... my mind just went there automatically 🤣🤣🤣

[@lakeitawilson]

Me too😂🤣😂

[@LizettesB3autyChannel]

Deon Flowers 😂😂😂

[@MsLH208]

Uhhh,right

[@user-el1sn9rs9f]

Facts😂😂

[@kittynyc27]

Never co-sign for anyone- Family, husband, etc... If you have to co-sign something, they didn't have the money to begin with. Buy within your means.

[@1984nique]

I can't say I've never been, but I can say I won't again. I finally found myself. I love myself enough to not do or accept certain things. It lowers my vibration and value.

[@mogetit5999]

We all have been there even the ones that claim they love themselves. But as long we learned that’s what matters

[@1984nique]

@@mogetit5999 So very true.

[@ACSaaang]

Yep!

[@andreaschanck8629]

💗

[@pockahantiss]

My motto is: Don't promise me the world, when you ain't left the block!-

[@shemeher3380]

❤

[@charlita25]

Scared to be lonely , learned behavior, low self esteem....

[@thickumz211]

I’ve been single for awhile and it gets lonely! However I sleep damn good at night knowing that I have peace of mind and that I’m not settling! 🗣

[@Never_Give_Up_88]

Boo let me tell you what to do date, love and be in a relationship with yourself, loneliness will fly right out the window believe

[@letstalk8219]

what she said

[@annabella7188]

Amen!!! I had to learn the hard way about doing wifey duties with a gf title. Alot of wasted money and energy on potential. Neeeeeeever again in life!!!!

[@NYCSouthernGirl1]

Preach

[@lafronyaharris3764]

Amen!

[@melindabarnes165]

You aren’t being judgmental. This is a much needed video! We must love ourselves enough to know what love really is.

[@k1reinvented39]

Melinda Lyons " We must love ourselves enough to know what love really is." Okay Sis, you spoke that so well that I HAD to put quotations around it! Preach Sister! YASSS...say it again.

[@ashkatnoy3420]

You can not call someone stupid and then say you’re not being judgmental. I agree with the message but it is very judgmental 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@ClowneryAtItsFinest]

@@ashkatnoy3420 Oh well.....it needed to be said!

[@scjohnson1987]

When your self-esteem is low.....you aim low!

[@pheonixxxrose]

MRSJOHNSON ! I needed this

[@JoeyXJameson]

It’s very easy to be fucked up in the head when it comes to relationships. Society puts marriage and being in a relationship on a pedestal, so IN MY OPINION it programs us to believe we aren’t valuable without a significant other. I used to be like that until I started trying to focus on building my life the way I always fantasize about and you’re right, it’s definitely a self esteem or self love issue. But those terms are so broad it’s hard to catch on to what that means until they feel it personally

[@NiniEJ]

This is so true!

[@DoubleAA82]

allll facts!!!

[@AwesomeSauceToys21]

Love is a drug

[@SonjaElizabethTeal]

YES!

[@misskris117]

💯💯💯💯

[@ronicmwest]

You need to do topics like this on the regular and call it Dineva Speaks

[@Miss_Dani_DWhit]

Yes!!!!

[@loismartin9634]

Yes! I so agree

[@myamemebell]

Yes!

[@whitneyj2075]

Or Dineva Talks or Dineva Sessions something lol u know

[@haterule]

Yess I'm 💯 for this

[@dawnye1]

Know your worth: then add tax.🙌🏽

[@Miss_Dani_DWhit]

HELLO!!!!!!

[@deliapearsall6334]

I love it!!!!

[@ddrob325]

First of all if I can’t pay my bills sex, love and everything else goes straight out the window. Ain’t nobody getting on top of me if I have to wonder how I going to pay my bills period..

[@ShelbySteele23]

@Lloyd Norwood Lies! Women are emotionally driven when it comes to sex so when our home is not in order, we're stressed, hurt or simply turned off, the last thing on our minds is sex (especially from a man who is contributing to our pain and frustration). Only a sorry azz f**kboy would be thinking about sex instead of taking care his woman, home and family.

[@Bambii4974]

@ddrib325. I feel you. If I'm struggling I'm not even horny. I just can't do it. When I want some I'll get it, but I'm not committing. I've been super stupid behind a man and it cost me dearly and I'm just not going back down that road

[@ddrob325]

Lloyd Norwood First of all money plays a big part because of bills. You can’t lay if you don’t pay, so tell that to the bill collector because they don’t stop coming.

[@SonjaElizabethTeal]

Just told my Dear Friend same thing.... I told her not another dime is coming out of my pocketbook for her and the children if she lets this non working bum back in her house!

[@scovyaporsha]

ddrob325 okay

[@ThePresentTimeNow]

I havent been in a relationship for 10 years. I feel absolutely nothing. I’m happy, im free, and I think I always want to be this way.

[@sweetbrownsuga504]

Same here🙌💕

[@crystaledwards6610]

Girl me too! Single and celibate for 9 years. I mean I'm not saying I wouldn't enjoy having a man, I would love to. I love love, but too much foolishness going on. I be at work and these woman be damn near 100 years old dealing with bullshit from their "man".

[@sweetbrownsuga504]

@@crystaledwards6610 Agreed💯

[@kayt3844]

@@crystaledwards6610 I'm going on 5 years!😉

[@anitaknight3915]

@@crystaledwards6610 same girl!!! I'd rather be content and healthy alone than be dealing with any toxic drama filled bs in a relationship which seems to be the norm out there

[@nicandrews1370]

Answer: Because most women like men with assembly required. I guess DIY Projects ain't just for those who are crafty.

[@SonjaElizabethTeal]

ROFLMAO... 🤣🤣🤣🤣PICK ME UP OFF THE FLOOR!!

[@4.carmeljwn]

lordt

[@msucf2010]

I will not be building a man in 2019 or ever. 🙃

[@themfdon]

That part !!😂🥴

[@themfdon]

Best comment award 🥇 😂

[@EverydayGworl]

You ain't told us about your economics degree in a minute!!! 😂😂😂

[@Salma-yo6ns]

I love that part!! Shit for the student loans & cost of schooling, I would wear my degree as a chain if I could 😄

[@Jada19791]

I use to beat myself up bc I'm newly 40 never married or dont have any kids. I see all my closest friends married and having that life I wanted. But listening to this and being a listening ear to my friends. Babbee I'm Gucci. I'm going to look at my life in a whole new aspect and ENJOY the PEACE. Me and my dog. ❤

[@misskris117]

Jada Bibbs You sounds just like me. I did the same thing and I’m the same age in the same situation: never married and no kids. All of my friends are married w kids or have one or the other. I need to get a dog!!

[@asiahwalker2007]

I haven’t been in a relationship in a long time and I am the total package. I refuse to settle so I’m fine with continuing to accomplish my goals by myself.

[@loismartin9634]

Amen! Asiah Walker

[@capricorn7nc]

Amen. A whole person living with you, but you calling me for money.

[@SonjaElizabethTeal]

It's IRRITATING as hell! I told a GF same thing you said ... You need rent with a whole MAN in bed with you... Shitting me....

[@user-el1sn9rs9f]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@erikaarnold4780]

Paarreach, girl! I LOVED being single as much as I love being married today. I very much enjoy my own company and alone time.

[@crystaledwards6610]

Girl I been single and celibate for 9 years and yes I would love to have a man, but I'm not tolerating no bs. Anybody can have a relationship. I want what I desire.

[@PetraInTheDesert]

Imma need a reality show of Q and his "family members" cause they sound messy af. Every last one of them. 😂😂

[@elenaherring4118]

Yes!!!!😂

[@TheMogulMommy]

Chile😂😂😂

[@pdiddy523]

😂

[@TheIheartweezyfbaby]

I'd be tuned in every week...just like LHH

[@Nasrumii]

Being in LUST is a dangerous thing...smh.

[@misskris117]

Omorose Outkast facts!

[@sexy2637able]

A FACT Outkast

[@slickandslaycious6579]

The 🍆/🐈 too 💣💣💣

[@Cat_cuteness82]

When you don’t love yourself or know yourself it’s easy for some women to try to find it in other people. People don’t have self respect, morals, values or standards anymore. A lot of people haven’t healed from childhood trauma or insecurity’s

[@mlmlsmith2505]

Many want to be followers instead of leaders then many begin to believe the majority is right 😕

[@kimberlygordon9961]

NIECY MAJOR Yes. The child hood trauma, the background is where it all started. Lots of people hurting out here. And hurting others because of it.

[@brooklynforever1990]

Oh Lord sensitive low self-esteem folks about to be in their feelings.

[@LizettesB3autyChannel]

brooklynforever1990 😂😂😂😂

[@RUCKingOnTheSpectrum]

You can’t expect an illogical person to think logically. It’s lack of self love, worth depression and so much more. People like that get comfortable sitting in pain and sadness.They haven’t reached a stage in their lives where they realize that happiness comes from within. Sadly, I have a very close family member who is the same way and I know for a fact it comes from her lack of feeling worthy due to all the trauma she has endured. She knows what she deserves but she doesn’t believe it. Until she does it will be a repeated cycle. I tell her all the time your trauma isn’t your fault but your healing is your responsibility. Some people get so comfortable in a slump that they are scared to heal bc their whole existence os rooted in hurt. A lot of people can see right through you when you are broken and vulnerable and they make it their mission to choose people like that to prey on. It’s sad but you can’t want the world for someone but it won’t mean a thing if they don’t want it for themselves

[@anitaknight3915]

This comment was articulated so beautifully and deeply profound!! I'm a counselor in training and it is so true everything you have said. I learned this lesson as well, but realize I can't heal people to recognize their self worth and value. It all must come within. So many are broken and still reliving trauma, but you are right our healing is our responsibility

[@ronicmwest]

When you love yourself truly you don't take no mess. Learn to love from a distance and keep it moving.

[@nickelwindow53]

“If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you going to love somebody?!?...Can I get a Amen up in here?!?”-RuPaul 🙌🏾🌈🙌🏾🌈🙌🏾🌈🙌🏾

[@lasqtst328]

Let's replace the word "love" with "lonely". A lot of these people aren't comfortable with themselves, so they look for validation from others. I once saw a story of a woman that stayed with an extremely abusive man and it wasn't because she loved him, it was because she was afraid NO ONE else would want her if she left him. Her fear of loneliness almost got her killed one night after her raped her. True story.

[@marieverdi4063]

Desperation to be loved. Love can be an amazing thing, but some folks are so desperate they're willing to have any kind of man, even if it's a horrible man just to say they have one. And that is an extremely self destructive way to think.

[@karlamitchell81]

I’m that way right now... haven’t had a real love interest in years... I used to cry about it... I tried to drink it away lol But now... I just stack my coins and enjoy my life...

[@NewEyes25]

No need to cry about it mamaz, I'm pretty sure being single you've learned alot about yourself.

[@Never_Give_Up_88]

Alrite Solange 😊 😂

[@letstalk8219]

there you go! just enjoy your life and if a good one comes along you'll be in a blessed position to receive it

[@anitaknight3915]

@@letstalk8219 great advice!! We need to enjoy our own peace of being single and be spiritually ready if and when someone worthy of us comes along

[@loismartin9634]

Me as well! Karla and yes sometimes it hurts because we all want someone special. But I now say @ what cost? I will NO longer accept less than I deserve.

[@ashleywatkins1380]

Eating my baby's fruit snacks is where I draw the damn line...

[@711bluemonkey]

😫😂😂😂

[@mlmlsmith2505]

🤣🤣🤣

[@FlyWon]

Ashley Watkins 🤣

[@shemeher3380]

LOL

[@dougedoug2105]

🙋🏽‍♂️ I’m one of those fruit snack bandits myself but I’ll usually do it when the baby is at school or asleep so they won’t miss it, but what differentiates me from the average guy is that as soon as I’m done I’m in the car on my way to the store to buy baby a whole new box of fruit snacks and one for myself so that it won’t happen again. Taking candy from a baby is a new kind of low; Kick that ass out! 😉

[@fabl9794]

Not the babies fruit snacks😂😂😂

[@gcboy16]

I was saying the same thing

[@RipplesnWaves]

I mean whole box gone and kids looking sad and angry at mom

[@leelohaskin7941]

@@RipplesnWaves lol damn, and they (the mamas) let that stuff happen knowing it's not cool

[@Couture426]

Larrissa hair 💀💀💀💀💀

[@JESSKISS19]

And lunchables

[@llindsey1121]

There’s literally a show called “For My Man” that documents this phenomena. It’s sad.

[@SonjaElizabethTeal]

I took a entire weekend to binge that show... OMG... MY MOUTH STAYED OPEN MOST OF THE WEEKEND!

[@slickandslaycious6579]

@@SonjaElizabethTeal what streaming service or TV station?

[@gwladysokodombe5933]

U can watch it on KZbin too. Check this channel "GOT U TV"

[@eboni257]

@@slickandslaycious6579 TVOne

[@baekwonthechef5254]

when my homegirls used to tell stories about fighting other women over cheating, going through phones, physically fighting their partners, destroying cars/shoes & other property i‘d just laugh nervously because I just couldn’t see myself jeopardizing my freedom over an unhealthy relationship. I’ve definitely been dumb over several men when my self esteem was in the pits, but these past four years of celibacy have been filled with the most personal growth I’ve experienced since a crippling depressive episode that lasted several years. You’ll NEVER regret putting yourself first ♥️

[@renewedgyrl]

baekwon thechef Amen!

[@Fabulousmommy0309]

You said nothing but the truth! I have never and will not ever

[@pdiddy523]

💟

[@loismartin9634]

Amen....

[@lulup8574]

👌💖👍🏼

[@ademaya4773]

I'm the same way Dineva when it comes to relationships. Respect!

[@Tiamoya23]

Omg! Could you do a video on boundaries and toxic people?!? Need your perspective as we all do at times. Love the vids!

[@michelleg.676]

TIA Mcneely toxic family members. That talk about you to “outsiders” and act innocent behind your back.

[@brewhite7727]

Pleassssseeee!

[@missladiera]

👏👏👏

[@BralonThompson]

A lot of times it comes from them not wanting to be alone! I have a friend where she went from one relationship to another, and the 2nd dude she got with didnt have a job (he was homless) damaged her car (and tried to lie about it) got her pregnant and he had so many charges she had to drop 1400 on a lawyer to keep him out of jail. And he still sells weed and even has her selling for him now. And shes thinking about dropping out of college to become a dental hygienist. Nothing wrong with that but shes on the verge of becoming a lawyer. Im happy I got this out!!!!☺☺☺

[@svmto]

SEND THIS VIDEO TO HER!!

[@BralonThompson]

@@svmto nope im done with it lol evertime we ask her why shes still with him shes says idk or because i dont want my child to be without a father (the baby like 5 or 6 months now) its above me now

[@SonjaElizabethTeal]

Damn.

[@SonjaElizabethTeal]

@@BralonThompson She's not ready to receive this message yet! Poor thing. I hope the Universe changes her mind soon...HOPEFULLY not in a bad way!

[@shemeher3380]

You should just whoop her ass one good time. Tough love.... ugh I hope she doesn't quit school.

[@sbeasley7100]

I don’t know why, but you saying “she had a whole n**ga’ took me OUTTT. 💀😂

[@uniqwiab8679]

S Beasley that’s what he was cause it damn sure wasn’t a MAN. A deadbeat nigga lol

[@deliapearsall6334]

Lol

[@brittanyb5942]

I have done more dumb things for love than I can count 😩 But I'm learning, growing and trying to do better.

[@priyacarter7718]

To the woman or man that needed to help this.... I love you and you will be just fine.

[@user-el1sn9rs9f]

Love you too thanks 😢

[@jenniferjones852]

A lot of times, we feel like they can change a man, raise a man, support a man into being the man of their dreams. And we can't. Change has to come from within. I thought I was staying for the kids, turns out I was only hurting the kids...

[@user-el1sn9rs9f]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@Smileychild22]

Right! WHY DO PPL HAVE to be in a relationship..I never understood that! I'm good by myself first..and if one comes..it comes.

[@stacyr4768]

People judge you when you you are single at a certain age. Single shaming is hurtful.

[@datgurlky1]

@@stacyr4768 And I shame them right back by indirectly saying I'm patient and not willing to get with just Anybody. I notice only the people in struggle relationships talk shit. People in good relationships don't do that.

[@stacyr4768]

@@datgurlky1 yes it's still hurtful at times the way some people try to degrade you as if you are less than a woman because of it.

[@Smileychild22]

I'm a Only child with limited friends and I guess I just know how to be content with myself

[@Smileychild22]

@@stacyr4768 I never noticed if ppl did that to me. I live my best life by myself and when my husband happened to come I didn't even rush it. We were together for 7 years before Marriage. My friends are all trying to get what we have and online dating desperately but I'm like please trust God. I never looked for this..it just happend

[@mariyahmercier]

I know it's a old phase but it still can be applied in women lives," I can do bad by myself "‼️💯

[@kimberlygordon9961]

IMaryann Yarbrough But you won't be doing bad. Women have been to conditiioned to think that having someone makes it good. So sad.

[@prettypartythings4555]

When my husband didn’t have much when first met. He always said “ if I got $2 you’ll always have $1. There has been time when he was down, but he always made up by doing other things. We up now and he is so attentive. We have to want more for ourselves.

[@laporche0215]

My friends have told me that they can't understand how I'm so strong when it comes to relationships. Its because I have this exact mindset. I dont mind walking away from anybody who is not positively contributing to my life. I dont have time and don't wanna make time for anything less than what I deserve.

[@kejuanlynette8531]

I think that a lot of women are scared to tell their "man" that they're tired of them not contributing. Some of them are afraid to kick them out/demand more etc.

[@nikib9406]

Thanks for posting this video Sometimes you have to hear someone else problems to see yourself. Everything you stated was FACTS.

[@afrolatino89]

10 people disliked this because rent was free before this video LOL 💸💸💸💸

[@shecandoit4801]

Lmao 😂😂😂

[@Jaedoe888]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@makeupmypitbull]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣!!! say that fam!!!!💀💀💀

[@SonjaElizabethTeal]

Roflmao soooooooo hard!!!

[@yngblkguy21]

😂😂😂😂

[@cynthiacrouch7373]

I am so Glad you posted this video♥️♥️♥️

[@blaqqfoxx5080]

Me too

[@SophisticatedFlow]

I don’t want children or marriage so the idea of getting into a relationship has always been moot to me. I like being on my own time and doing my own thing. I do like the idea that more married people are having separate households and coming together when then want to be together. Myself speaking, I like being on my own and doing my own thing.

[@geocyo8835]

Who is having separate households? I have said this was a good idea and have had people look at me like I've grown an egg on my head. I think that if you have the means to do so then it can work very well. I was a child and I watched a show like Inside Edition and the story was about this older couple who was at least in their 70s (this was in like 1992) who had, for the majority of their marriage, lived next door to one another. Two separate houses. They seemed to get along wonderfully. Sometimes I think that when you have grown enough as an individual it's hard to couple up and the 'getting used to' phase can be overwhelming for some people and it causes a break-up. Where do you live that you've seen this become popular?

[@SophisticatedFlow]

Geo Cyo I’m in Texas! The new folks have busy lives so it’s easy to keep their homes separate but come together when they have time.

[@HH-gv8mx]

People who can't be alone without being lonely are usually unstable. They always need something to fill that void-- drugs, alcohol, a person who's clearly using them.. much healthier to be alone and work on yourself than be in a dysfunctional relationship.

[@ldh2449]

Okay Dineva u didn't have to come for me lol ! That message was needed n was made for me!!! C'mon spirit.. SPEAK!!! I guess I will b seeing u down to the bar! Lol

[@shelbywashington9092]

La Quana Haney 🤣🤣🤣

[@marywebster6595]

giirl, i’ve been there!!😩 trust in the God that is in YOU and just let go..!! you can do it sis!!💪🏾🤗

[@ldh2449]

I appreciate that sis!! I Kno HE will c me thru it!

[@E.Allen1]

When you know better you do better. Hold your head up and do better one day at a time.

[@candylove49]

Watch SheRaSeven1 channel and you’ll NEVER be dumb again.

[@AnointedVessel40]

Thank you Dineva! I will watch this everyday, I wish you were in my family because I know you would have talked me out of alot of stupid situations I got myself into! You the G. O. A. T I've been single foe two years now and I'm in peace

[@fatimaamerson8489]

Most people are codependent and seek validation and value of self from the acceptance of a significant other. We are conditioned to believe that success and happiness are the by products of a relationship. I've been single for 4 years as well as celibate and I've never been so centered as I am today. I would like a healthy relationship with a man who respect and love me but most of the relationship that I see are superficial, manipulative, emotionally abusive and shallow. Almost in every case someone is giving more to sustain the relationship than their partner so the union is fragile because there's no reciprocity. # Fake Love # Narcissistic Society! # Spirit having a human experience! It's Freedom Time Now.

[@ResellingMeMe]

I totally agree! We have to learn to fully love/respect self first before you give love to a partner.

[@subreniajohnson4509]

Please do more topics like this. The truth sets you free and I love how you don't sugarcoat!

[@TheBeautifullyUnique]

Dineva you preaching a word. Being single has brought me so much peace and I’m getting back to doing the things I used to love to do and focusing on my happiness. A bad relationship can be so toxic to you that you don’t even realize until you step outside the situation and you are left with silence to really think about things rationally. Being alone is a gift for me at this point in my life. I don’t judge others because I was once in a situation where I didn’t see a way out even though that voice inside of me was telling me to leave and never look back. This year I finally listened and now I’m starting to love the woman that I am again ❤️. Sending love to those in toxic and broken relationships. There is happiness on the other side. You just have to be willing to let go and go after it ❤️

[@jasminbailey9804]

I needed this blessing. Thank you!!!

[@nicki378110]

The dumbest thing is staying in a relationship because you feel you owe them.

[@user-el1sn9rs9f]

Yep😂😂😂

[@MsRiceLifestyle]

Q, I needed someone like you to call me stupid when I was doing the same exact thing for years. I was miserable every day. Never again. Lesson learned. My happiness and peace comes first and if that means being single then so be it.

[@Tricey504]

Those women have low self esteem and just happy to say "at lease I have a man" smh

[@msg9957]

Trice D Ding Ding Ding Ding! that’s exactly what it is!

[@eyrthnayma1107]

Some of these issues are childhood related too. Most people don’t know what a loving relationship look like because they didn’t grow up seeing one.

[@kdotnichole]

Not only are they taking away valuable time and energy from their children, they teaching they damn kids that shit is acceptable 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@GoddessLulaBelle]

The dumbest thing I did for love is actually humiliating and I won’t tell anyone. But I will say this. I cried a whole bunch of tears and did a whole lot of prayers to get him out my life. I have been single for a couple years now... and I love myself. I will not be dogged out or disrespected by any man💥

[@audreys7497]

So grateful for my thin patience. Never put up with that. I’ve encountered a few black women who excuse that sort of behavior from black men in particular. And these women believe that their patience and being a support system for these men is counteracting the negative effects of racism on black men. It’s a long and hard conversation to have. But MY conclusion is that it won’t be me

[@ReallifewithT]

It’s simple you attract what you are.. if you’re full of negative energy self hate doubt sorry pain insecure no love and respect for yourself... there you have it 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@msg9957]

Chicagofinest48 Destintobegreat FACZ!!!!!

[@DeeLishish0991]

Either it's learned behavior, low self-esteem, or settling. Love yourself before you try to love someone else. It'll save you the heartache and time. When you love yourself, you won't have time for bullshit.

[@missval3921]

Just because I'm alone doesn't mean i'm lonely.

[@kdeloris2225]

Don't ever depend on a man but don't ever have a man that's not dependable💪🏽

[@aryelmermaid]

I was stuck in a bad relationship for a long time because I allowed my fear of being alone over power my better judgment. I’ve been single since then. Some people think it’s because that relationship damaged my heart in some way. Quite possibly... what I do know for sure is that I refuse to ever be in a situation similar to it again. I’d rather be lonely than to allow some man to burn me up from the inside out! I have so many friends in bad relationships and all they do when we get together is cry about how exhausted they are. It’s sad.

[@user-ol2mk6tg6p]

Love dont pay bills

[@dominicanprincess2051]

Amen 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@k1reinvented39]

My grandmother was 92yrs young when she passed away. This was her motto. She had dementia, but if you'd ask her what she thought about love, she'd say "love don't pay no damn bills!"

[@m.clarke4171]

Sure don’t

[@uniqwiab8679]

Leatrice Harmon awww lol and it sure doesn’t

[@mariebrooks7341]

You're so right on point. I am alone but definitely not lonely. That is from Good Times and what Wilona told Florida when Florida kept trying to hook her up. I have a dog and a nice life. Why would I ever put up with anybody who needs to mooch off me? smh Never Ever. He has to have his own house, car, job or resources to support him because it won't be coming from me. It's alright over here. Good message Funky Dineva.

[@laetitiadavion2055]

Nelly said the same thing-- his Grandparents were married for 60 yrs but his parents were married for a shorter time and it was toxic...he says he was stuck in the middle😕😕

[@SosavedGraceNMercy]

His grandparents were great people #mychurchfamily 🥰😢

[@stillirise4401]

Don’t burn the cornbread! Some folks are so desperate to say “I gotta man” & lack basic self respect, they would do just about anything.

[@heleneclark563]

Some people just don’t want to live alone. I have known people who actually lived with relatives in between relationships. They have never lived alone.

[@watsonar70]

@Allergic2 Niggas You better preach! I can do one better, ge is 51 years old and the only time he has been away from his momma is during Army basic training and deployments! No sir, I need my man to be comfortable with paying the rent/mortgage on a regular basis! LOL

[@keepingitrealwithjustjay3907]

This video was on time! My motto is you have to bring more to the table than just your appetite. If you don’t have what I have or better, it ain’t going far. I’m good luv enjoy. When you know your worth, you’ll stop accepting discounts.

[@summersocontroversia]

Good topic, I completely agree. It’s all about setting those standards and being honest with yourself. Some people aren’t strong enough to be with someone else and should work on themselves first. Confidence in yourself and your decisions goes a long way. Most embarrassing: I’ve definitely had my parents paying rent and had a lazy boy staying with me. #collegedays

[@marcianoni4725]

I appreciate your views on people unyielding allegiance to a relationship that lacks growth. Continue speaking on this subject matter since people can place coerced elation on dead-end relationships. Often times, we need to be vigorously shook (physically) to grasp the concept we are behaving in a vapid manner. We need to take accountability and stop using, "I was young and dumb" as our line of defense. Learn from your errors and forewarn others if you notice them duplicating your same pattern. We are worth so much more than undeserving pain. Love is a geniune thing to experience.

[@MissAugust_]

I can't give you any answers honey because I be smh wondering the same thing! I DO NOT get it and thank God I don't. I've seen some women let men literally live off them like a child, get hit, cry over cheating ect.. and still stay. Maybe bc we both Leos and the same age idk but I share the same sentiments as you on this. I'm single also and in NO rush for a relationship or kids.Because being in a rush for love is how ppl end up in those situations. You have to trust the process. I'd rather keep being beautiful, single, happy and stress free while the right one is on his way rather than settle for the bs.✌🏽 I thank God for my discernment every day.

[@papercutbliss205]

It’s a 20’s problem Nessa . I use to be but then I grew the hell up. Being single forces u to learn yourself and self worth. In the process you also learn how to love yourself!

[@shutit4024]

Papercut Bliss it’s a teen thing too I went through this 15-19 I’m 19 now and haven’t been in an situationship for 9 months now

[@msg9957]

A 20s problem??? Bullshit. I know women in their 30’s & 40s right now who this applies to.

[@10isha44]

Thank you for this! I’ve been stupid before, not anymore.

[@bjohnsologist]

It’s the moms and grandmas!!! In the Midwest these women would rather be in a relationship with broke men than be single! They were raised this way!!!

[@sherrymdsrn]

Brandy Jay 😢

[@kimwright6377]

I’m with you Dineva! A good friend of mine one day said the reason that I’m not overly influenced by men is because maybe I’ve been loved a lot from my family and I know what being really loved feels like.I think there may be some truth to that.Because when I’m not being treated well it’s a no brainer for me to let it go.And I was married and I still didn’t stay in that either with my ex.And Im content being single as well.

[@kaistayblessed1580]

I dont think it's safe to be in a relationship everyone wants to use you it's not worth it ✌

[@candylove49]

simply ruthless use them back. “A fair trade ain’t no robbery”

[@kaistayblessed1580]

@@candylove49 I hear ya

[@browneyed4553]

I'm single and love it....there was a time when I couldn't walk past a mirror w/o a man... Now I love me...took a while...I'm GOOD!

[@BricaB]

Where’s the lie???!! All facts! When I was in my early 20’s I found myself being dumb af 1 time and that’s all it took! Let the dude stay with me, he had no car, and barely kept a job. That situationship lasted almost a year, but when I was done I was DONE! Got in another relationship and had my daughter...long story short has her and have been single for almost 7yrs now(no dating/celibate). I refuse to deal with anybody if it’s not in the best interest for she and I. Lord willing eventually I’ll find love and get married, but until then I’m alright.

[@etcancer713]

Codependency,poor self esteem issues, settling for less , scared of being alone, not setting relationship standards & expectations have lead me down this path in the past

[@jazizam]

I realized that for many people, having a significant other is as important as having a job. So, the same way they will settle and put up with stuff to keep a job is the way they'll do this in a relationship. Unfortunately, because of the ratchet mindset that is endemic among black people, it's not as easy as we'd like it to be to come across a man who isn't somewhat worthless. If all black women only dated black men who brought something equal or better to the table, almost all of us would be single (which many of us are...).

[@thesunnyleo]

I will answer for myself why I seemingly can’t stay single for more than a few months. I know my worth, and I have basic insecurities about my body like most women but nothing major. All around I know I am beautiful and I know I’m a good girl. I have BPD and DPD. Both stem from abandonment and dependency. I don’t like being alone period. I noticed the pattern in high school and stopped dating at 17/18 didn’t start dating again until 20. I haven’t been single for more than 3 months since. I’m working on it. I have faith in myself. Anyone going through similar, I see you. I am you. We will get there. If you have the resources find a therapist and be transparent. Knowing WHY you put up with certain things is the first step.

[@Christycheri92479]

I agree with another comment, you need to do a Dineva Speaks and give out this good advice. Our community needs it!!!