Why becoming a mom is SO hard (+ what can help with new baby life!!)

An informal chat about the transition into Motherhood, why it feels so hard & what can help.
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This video is a rambly one of me sharing my thoughts about all the things that make the transition to motherhood challenging - less medical support for moms. Less emotional support for moms. Less clarity about how to help the new mom. New moms struggle to give up control of our baby to others. We don’t sleep or eat as well because our life becomes about our children. We struggle to prioritize our own needs because we are so focused on the needs of our children. We need help. To remembers to advocate for ourselves. Ask for help. Look for opportunities to share about our experiences as a mother - whether good or bad - share about pregnancy, labor, delivery, all of it. Get a counselor if you need it. Start a KZbin channel or blog. Talk to family. Give yourself grace because hormones really can make you feel crazy. Lack of sleep can too. And the fact that all your days are blurring into each other right now. You’re normal and amazing. You’re doing such a good job.
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[@KadabraCasey]

Thank you for your channel. My baby is 5 weeks old and between this video and your “I don’t like being a mom” video I. FEEL. THIS! I was never one of those girls who wanted to be a mom. I’d never held a baby, changed a baby, fed a baby, etc. before my own was born 5 weeks ago (and I’m 35!) I was a career girl who found my value in my job and now I’m struggling with who I am and how I’m going to go back to work and give it my all as I always have when I feel like I’m struggling to know how to keep me and my baby alive and thriving day to day 🙃 the anxiety is real and I feel like I did not prepare for this part the way I should have. I spent 9 months learning about pregnancy (and had the easiest, most non-existent pregnancy ever, so that was a waste of time) when I should have been learning how to take care of a baby, which is difficult to learn and research while you’re in the midst of it and your brain can’t function while you’re being a nap trapped couch cow. I feel guilty that I miss my old life when it was just my husband, cats, and me and I could come and go as I pleased and spend my time however I wanted. I love this little monkey so much, but the transition to motherhood is extremely difficult and so isolating.

[@JennerationOfGrace]

I dreamed of becoming a momma my whole life, and then I became one and realized it’s really really freaking difficult!! I felt just like you. It was a huge tough pill to swallow 😔

[@neuroticgypsy]

That's how I felt about pregnancy ! I wanted to have a baby my entire life then I got pregnant and SICK as a dog and regretted it.

[@allyoelofse5882]

Motherhood is tough... and I feel like NOBODY actually warns you! 😆

[@melerwin1]

This is soooooo relatable. My son is 15 months old and still wakes up 2-3 times a night and wants to be up for the day around 4 am. I work a stressful job 45hrs a week (I'm his only financial provider), and take care of my son by myself when he's not in daycare. It's so hard and some days I just don't think I can do it anymore. What I would do for a full night's sleep.... Also, the anxiety is still pretty strong for me. I have separation anxiety, YES, ME, not my son. I'm just so fearful all the time of something going wrong. I think it's related to all my miscarriages. I had 5 prior to carrying my son to full term. I didn't think I could ever be a mother, so I think part of me is convinced that my son can't escape the same fate.

[@Muninn801]

Wow, you are a hero, keep it up! It'll get easier (at least that's what everyone keeps telling me haha)

[@ericayarbough4195]

I am so sorry about your miscarriages. 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍💔 It’s amazing you are doing everything you can for your son, that’s something to be proud of!

[@MadameToadstool]

I am a brand new mom, & my baby will be one week old tomorrow. I’m having such a hard time letting go of my old life, when it was just me, my husband, & cats, yet at the same time I love my son more than anything. My family is far away, & I keep bursting into tears. I had no idea how hard this transition would be. Finding your channel & this video has been so wonderful for me. Thank you ❤️

[@alexandrakritzman938]

Hope it’s gotten a little easier!

[@MadameToadstool]

@@alexandrakritzman938 It has, thank you!

[@alexandrakritzman938]

@@MadameToadstool that’s amazing! Happy to hear

[@KadabraCasey]

This is exactly me, down to the cats. My baby is 5 weeks old and it’s been such an adjustment. Glad things have gotten better for you over time.

[@MadameToadstool]

@@KadabraCasey My son will now be 2 in a month & a half, & it has gotten SO MUCH BETTER. Hang in there mama, it’s truly the hardest in the beginning. It’s the biggest adjustment, especially if you’ve been really focusing on your career, school, etc. Reaching out to fellow mom friends was really helpful for my sanity. I hope it gets easier for you soon. P. S. What are your cats’ names? Mine are Sirius & Pip 😊

[@leylaa9658]

My son is nearly six months. It's such a rollercoaster. The crying wreaks havoc on my nervous system, it feels traumatic; I panic, I shake. I am losing clumps of hair, the weight is not coming off, I have new wrinkles and a completely different body - a major challenge to my old sense of identity in the world. I used to LOVE time to myself, and I miss it badly. However, I have never been so in love, and have never felt more deeply fulfilled.

[@neuroticgypsy]

Get him tested for allergies !

[@LadyArty19]

I love how Jess talks about these things, how honest she is about parenthood because in my experience, my mom and other maternal family members did NOT give me the truth lol. Everyone is all, "Oh you're gonna have so much FUN! Oh it's just the BEST. Oh you're going to be so IN LOVE." Yes, some parts are fun. Yes, I do enjoy being a mom. And yes, I love my daughter more than I can even explain. But being a new parent really does knock you off your feet, and my family gassed me up with all the blissful stuff, making me think that the love for my daughter alone would completely cancel out the exhaustion, and stress, and negative emotions. I wish somebody--even just one person--would have said, "It can and will really SUCK sometimes, and THAT'S OKAY."

[@amandamisso5117]

This is the most relatable video I think I’ve ever watched.

[@kristenmartin677]

Same!

[@MoonstoneElements]

My baby just turned four months last week, and at the same time, I missed my period and found out I was 4 weeks pregnant. I was honestly shocked and kinda freaking out, also so confused as to how I let this happen so soon! I feel like I literally just had him (cause I did lol), my belly still has never gone down, and I was enjoying not being pregnant so much the past few months. But now I’m 5.5 weeks, so it’s been a few days of coming to terms with it and I do feel so blessed and grateful for this chance to be a mom of two babies only a year apart. I’ve been a nanny all my life so I have tons of experience, but I realize it’s gonna be way harder in the beginning to figure out how to take care of two babies at the same time. I know one day I’ll get the hang of it, and I’m getting mentally prepared for the challenges. My boyfriend used to joke while I was pregnant with our first, that he wants the first two 12 months apart ... and I’d just laugh at him and say well you’re not the one who has to go through all the physical pain and work of having them, so it’s easy for you to say that! ... but now it looks like he got his wish! Even though we were not at all trying, I’d never consider a baby a mistake because I’m sure there’s some reason for their existence. I’m just going to make the very best of this because that’s all I can do. There’s no point of beating myself up or getting stressed, I’ll just take it one day at a time. Thanks for this encouraging video! It helped me so much ✨💛☺️

[@alexbickerton8973]

I'm 9 weeks deep into my motherhood journey with my first baby and this hit me on a real level. Thank you for talking about these challenges (I identify with every one of them) and normalizing them. When YT is full of type A moms that seem to just breeze through mamahood, those videos aren't helpful at all. So appreciate your encouragement Jess! xx

[@maycievanpatten6633]

YES!!!! Agree!!

[@ashleybowen3805]

I’m not a mom yet but I can see myself going through all of this. It’s comforting knowing I can rewatch this video when I do have kids!

[@jennifersaravaughan2969]

Hi! I’m popping on here to say that I so relate with this video. Some days it’s “ Yes I got this” while other days it’s “I’m drowning and I don’t want people to know that I am” motherhood was something I always wanted but let’s be real.. not sleeping through the night is HARD. We have been created for community and we need that support of other people. I keep telling myself on the hard days that asking for help is not weakness but strength. One thing that has really helped me and may help other moms out there is if you are home a lot, reaching out to 1 person a day has been a game changer! Simply just videoing them, or sending a quick voice recorded message to someone and having them respond has been so life giving. Calling them on the phone just to simply say “Hi” has been great! Just wanted to share what has been really helping me! ALSO, as much as I may not feel like it, going outside and taking a walk with the baby has helped.. motivation to go get coffee on the walk is even sweeter. 🙌🏻

[@erb611]

The TIMER! I thought no one else felt this way. I feel like I’m always racing around to get everything done in between feedings. Never feel like I can go anywhere because of it.

[@thaliagames6315]

I recognize a lot of what was said. I actually was sure motherhood would come naturally to me when I was younger. Luckily my sister warned me that it wasn't for her. As it turns out I also needed to get used to my role and it was more something that grew instead of something that was instantly there. When my son was born I thought he was beautiful and amazing, but it also felt a bit strange that he was my son. Like I didn't recognize him right away. I remember being in the hospital and one of the nurses came by a couple of hours after my son was born and said "What are you doing?! You can't hold him like that! If you fall asleep it won't be safe for him!" I felt so ashamed and like such a bad mom already, because I had no idea. A couple of days later I was told my son was not eating enough. They were surprised that I hadn't noticed. "A mom usually knows best if there is something wrong with her baby" and again I felt like such a failure because I really hadn't noticed. My son never cried or complained about anything. Every day I felt a little closer to my son though, and a little bit more in control and better at the tasks that I had to do (like diaper changes etc). And every day I would feel like I was a little bit better at being his mom. He is almost a year old now. I'm still not a perfect mom (and am still very tired at times), but I'm already starting to forget how hard and overwhelming some of the things were :-)

[@carliesebris5109]

The coffee shop story is the first time I’ve heard someone describe the feelings I felt as a first time mom. Thank you!

[@Everycloudgold]

Thank you Jess - I fantasised what being a mum would be like during pregnancy and was disappointed when I realised I wasn’t ‘good’ at looking after my newborn. It was and is more difficult then I thought it would be, social media seems to mask this and only shows the highlights xx

[@chalenem373]

The point at the end I related to a lot about not having something tangible that you have done. My friend asked me what I do all day with my newborn, and I literally don’t stop all day, but it’s hard for others to understand

[@sweetpeaislove]

This is a huge part of how I feel. My partner sometimes doesn’t sympathize with how difficult new motherhood is and it’s hard for me to put into words what I’m doing all day even though I feel like I don’t rest.

[@lauras262]

I feel so thankful for this video. I’ve felt so alone since becoming a mom…you get me

[@mekacy2602]

This is sooooo relatable to me. My son is 10 weeks old and I still have not taken him to the grocery store because of the panic and anxiety you describe. Idk how to push a stroller with a shopping cart so I’m not even sure how I’d buy anything. Then the thought of him crying in the store and having to change him scares me. I’m also exclusively pumping so I’m always on a timer! It’s tough but I love love love this video! Thank you!!!

[@chewychay9130]

what an amazing video. my son is 6 months old so i can fully resonate with all of this - specifically the crying portion. i would feel like i was physically hurting when he would cry and i couldn’t understand why my husband didn’t feel the same way. like i actually felt like my heart was breaking and my brain was going to explode. breastfeeding was also one of the most painful and difficult things i had ever done in my life and i felt like i didn’t have anyone to turn to who could relate or help with what i was feeling. what a whirlwind of emotions. us woman are so strong and powerful!! we go through so much physically, mentally and emotionally. especially during this crazy time in the world. every new mom or expecting mom should watch this video just so they know they are not alone. thank you for this.

[@LKlassen16]

Breastfeeding was sooooo hard for me too! I dreaded feeding her and cried a lot. But it did get better, and now we’re both pros!

[@Ride-sq6xg]

@@LKlassen16 at what age it got better?

[@chewychay9130]

@@LKlassen16 i pushed through the pain for 2 months .. my son had a bad latch that just never corrected itself. i am now exclusively pumping and we are both much happier!

[@meaganvillone2253]

THANK YOU. I didn’t know I needed to hear all of this 8 months in as a first time mom, but I did. Especially how you described the way a cry makes you feel… it’s exactly the same! ❤️

[@kriashkapadayachee8546]

I’m a new mum during covid and it’s been incredibly lonely! I’ve had so much of the same feelings, even though my baby is now 8 months old so much of this is still relevant

[@MayanPrincess3]

I love this video and I really needed someone to say how hard it is bc everyone around me just keeps saying “that’s motherhood!” About anything I say is hard. When people overly simplify being a mom it is like being gaslighted bc your own experience is anything but simple. New mom of a 4month old and an almost 3 year old and it’s taking longer to adjust this time around. I appreciate your honesty ❤

[@ashbabe1945]

I'm in need of this today! So overwhelmed. First time mom to almost a one year old and between working a full time job, cleaning a house, and trying to take care of myself. I always feel like I'm not doing well in all aspects.

[@erinbreese2950]

The comment about being on a timer really strikes a chord with me. Especially being on a timer and feeling that intense anxiety. The combination can be brutal. There were times in the early newborn phase when it felt like I was running around-breastfeeding, pumping, washing bottle parts, doing household chores, repeat-and that I would never sit down or rest again. I felt breathless and my brain was scrambled. Jess’s videos are truly a godsend. They make me feel less alone and they give me permission to feel that after all this hard work I can allow myself to feel like a success and not a failure even though I don’t do the motherhood thing 100% gracefully. I so appreciate her collection of videos and her work to build up moms. I cannot fully express how much of a gift she has given me.

[@hayleybeck83]

38 weeks pregnant- about to be a first time mom. Thank you for this- so refreshing! xoxo

[@rachelfarson]

I’m in tears because you feel like the first person to speak to all of the HARD things. I went to counseling prior to birth and something that my therapist had me walk through that I think really helped was walking through grieving the changes you will be going through. I’m reading a book right now about Jesus’ years of anonymity and it feels so much like being a mom where you feel like you are unseen.

[@jamiemortensen7034]

What is the book about Jesus’ anonymity?

[@rachelfarson]

@@jamiemortensen7034 It is called Anonymous by Alicia Britt Cole

[@JA-xv3qp]

I think you’re one amazing gal Jessica. You went through so much and you came back stronger and wiser. You will be such an asset and rock in your children’s life when they face their own challenges when they’re grown up. For me it has been a hard time yearning to turn to my own parents who, though tried their very best to understand and help, just couldn’t level with me and understand my struggles. I feel you will be able to.

[@laurastewart7879]

Thank you. Just….thank you! Sat here watching this with my 3 month old whilst suffering with massive anxiety, PPD and agoraphobia. I’ve watched your channel for quite a long time now and you are just so genuine, heartfelt and relatable. Thank you for everything you put out there and how honest and open you are. Keep doing what you’re doing!! Love from New Zealand x

[@rebeccamichelle9461]

As a new mother to a 3 week old I relate strongly to so many of these and really appreciate you articulating them so clearly 😭 thank you!

[@rieva1566]

Thank you very much for openly discussing about this topic. It is very helpful for new moms in this generation and next. The crying bit is so true. When my baby cries, its seems to be so loud in my hearing that i get so worried and frustrated at the same time. It is truly hard and a joy at the same time. I find seeking help from my husband is the most helpful. I am so lucky that he is supportive, understanding and kind.

[@angelagarrett6196]

I’m not a new mom by any means, my youngest is 5. However motherhood in general is hard. I’m a SAHM and my husband is a full time firefighter and we own a business so he’s not home a lot. But THANK YOU! Thank you for making these videos. I know I’m not alone. I know that other women think this mother hood thing is hard, no matter how you do it. No matter if you work or stay at home. Thanks for all that you do!

[@alexandrahiggins6638]

This video is so relatable! I’m pregnant with my second now, but I remember with my first, we had to do her first doctor visit the day after we got home from the hospital and it was so completely overwhelming! I remember a different baby crying made me so anxious that my baby was going to start crying and I wouldn’t know what was wrong, so I started crying. The anxiety in the beginning is so hard, I’m nervous to go through it again with my second.

[@vsailorsv]

I just went to run errands WITH my baby for the first time today at 6mpp and it felt like I had climbed a mountain. You described the anxiety so well. It's the what ifs that drove me to stay inside. Doing things on my own with him seems so scary for some reason. My spouse doesn't quite understand it but you described it perfectly thank you so much this whole video made me feel like not such a weirdo for feeling this way.

[@gwendolynhannam4930]

This is REALLY helpful!!! Am entering my third trimester of first baby and everything you've talked about has been on my mind. Hearing your experience has brought me comfort, knowing that I'm not alone. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@capslovesit]

I think the rambly videos of yours are my favourite. My first baby is scheduled for delivery next week and I sit here thinking I don't understand how people know what to do with a baby! It's the craziest thing we can do and there's no instructions. Thanks for being so open about this, you make me realise I'm not the only one who feels this way.

[@amalia466]

THANK YOU! ❤️ being mom is do hard for me.. plus covid now. feeling like there’s nothing in my life but taking care of the baby 24/7..

[@3ll3mel]

I so feel you! 😭😭😭 Stay strong!

[@Angino3]

Yes! I have a 3mo with silent reflux, which led to feeding issues, which led to sleep issues. If you feel alone or confused or stressed & don't have people nearby go to a GP or whoever the local health person is. Even if it's just to vent & talk. Sometimes just getting it put can help airing it & they can tell you if there is a problem or help you see if things aren't actually as big an issue as possible.

[@Sam-od3qd]

I started crying before I even got into the video. I start med school in 2 months and I have a 6 week old. It's truly so hard and i'm so worried about not being successful but i'm trying to stay positive

[@HealLoudly0911]

I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my first and I already feel the anxiety of alllll these things and I'm so thankful for videos like this!

[@whitemageFFXI]

I'm pregnant with my first and am really nervous about motherhood. Knowing how you struggled too, but still have 3 is really encouraging, honestly.

[@ShannonDePalma]

I'm 1 year into being a new mom with another little babe on the way and your channel is so refreshing. Thank you so much for sharing, being real, and feeling like a friend! I would love a video where you tell us how you balance being a KZbinr with being a mommy? I'm always amazed at how moms on KZbin crank out content!

[@dawnkelly4249]

I can’t even express how much I needed to hear this. It’s my first day alone with my son since he was born and it has been rough.

[@annarocha3254]

Just going to be tacky here and double comment now that I've finished. I SO AGREE that (generally well meaning) people's conflicting advice and opinions are so difficult to navigate.

[@juliagoldsmith-pinkham8719]

i wish I had seen this when I was in baby's first month - I resonate so much with what you said!! But also, now that we've in 4th month and it's easier, I hear your voice from one of your first videos all the time. You were talking about how you gotta just try taking the baby out - just change the diaper anywhere, feed the baby anywhere. It's really helped me a lot to have heard you say that like, a year ago.

[@alexandraanderson6935]

I’m a GREAT diaper changer! 😁

[@ashleylaine63]

YEAH YOU ARE!!!!!!

[@anastasiafranklin7545]

Jess, I’m 28 weeks pregnant and I’ve watched EVERY video you’ve posted and I LOVE your heart for us and your channel. Literally love your honesty and how authentically you show your walk through motherhood. I feel like I’m getting the best advice from a trusted friend or family member so thank you for this! ❤️🌸☺️

[@lunakitten_]

Thank you for posting this. I’m 8 weeks pregnant & struggle with anxiety. I am sooo worried I’m not cut out for this 🥺

[@candycandyissodandy]

You so are! You’ve got this mama. There’s no better mother than you for your babe.

[@estherverkouw7319]

You are going to do great!!! You are so capable of doing hard things, I'm sure of it. Watch Jess's other videos, I watched them through my pregnancy and they are all very relatable and helpful for mamas like us who doubt ourselves.

[@MissSmurfey]

How are you doing?

[@ManuelaParisi]

Thank you for this video and for your honesty! I appreciate your vulnerability and I appreciate knowing I’m not alone

[@stowebot]

Having your first child when living abroad is incredibly challenging and ultimately lead our family of 3 to move back to America in part because motherhood in your own homeland in your first language makes the whole experience and mental load of parenting much easier to manage. I would like to have another child but the first experience was so hard I'm scared to repeat that. Could you talk in another video about how you overcame the fear and challenge of the first child experience to have more children? I so relate to your experience and really appreciate your openess and vulnerability. It always feels good to know you're not alone in these feelings. Thank you!

[@jessiecamille643]

I can relate to this so much, because of COVID I spent my entire pregnancy in my husbands country, we would usually go to mine every month or two. Now I’ve had my son and it’s been so difficult, especially not knowing the language that well

[@Daymickey]

Thanks so much for everything you share. What an open heart you have ❤️💕 Not a mom yet, but I’m coming back to these videos when I’m pregnant. What a resource.

[@ruthhobson1294]

Jessica thank you for sharing! I have two beautiful babies a 2yr old and 1yr old and motherhood has been so challenging in all the ways you mentioned. The degree of sacrifice has felt so much to bare some days. So much grace and compassion is required. The best we can do is cheer one another on! It lifts the burden even if just a little bit a day at a time.

[@ambergish9737]

I'm 36 wks pregnant with my first baby and I've been binge watching your videos. They are fun, encouraging and helpful. Thank you for sharing all the things:)

[@christinemcgarrity81]

I really appreciate you and your upfront and honest videos. As a first time mom, I also had a really rough transition. It was a very overwhelming thing for me and I was also overcome with anxiety. I felt crazy and like I was a terrible mom, so it’s nice to hear that other moms had the same experience. And that I am not actually crazy. Thank you!

[@mel_pnw]

My first born is 12 and she was such an easy going baby. My life changed drastically but I could still maintain aspects of my previous lifestyle. My second is 4 months old and its been like going through the TRENCHES. He is teaching me what a high needs baby is. It has been so exhausting this round. I really appreciate this video. Thank you for being so raw and relatable.

[@kathrynneandaya4644]

Yes! Agree that we should celebrate our tiny successes! Being a mom is very challenging, we need to be kind to ourselves and celebrate when we can.thank you so much for all the encouragement!

[@kendralefebvre7314]

I’m two weeks post partum & I just stumbled across your channel. This video is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Thankyou for sharing

[@sexy69lexy]

Jess- first of all this video is amazing and made me feel so good! All of these points are so true! I’m a new mom with a 3 month old and it was comforting to hear other moms are thinking all of these things. My beloved mom passed away a month before I found out I was pregnant so I discovered your content with your baby care101 videos (which are so helpful) but you and your content is so positive and empowering! 💗

[@dharmony7320]

I started watching your videos before I became pregnant and I’m so glad I did because I’ve applied so many of your tips to my journey of being a new mom. My baby is now two weeks old and I will admit it is rough but it’s such a blessing to have you cheer me on and to give good advice. 💕

[@victoriayoung8529]

Related to sooo many of these. I had anxiety around not being able to care for my son the "right" way, not knowing what his cries meant or if I could make him happy, being isolated with him alone because of covid. I ended up talking to a therapist and I can say it got better once he turned a year old. We got in a groove, I got more confident and I'm starting to feel like a person and not just mom. You help so many moms with these videos including this one :) ❤

[@kmsevero1]

BLESS YOU for these videos Jessica!!! I'm a new mom as well. My first was born in September, 2020 so the height of covid. She also had reflux. I had never felt so alone and so overwhelmed with these conflicting feelings of loving my baby but feeling so scared and overwhelmed. One moment feels like living in Heaven, one moment feels like living in Hell. These videos make me feel so much more normal and so not alone. I love how you articulate these confusing emotions and the intense anxiety that came with being a new mom. Your story about the grocery store rush feeling - that was me too, feeling like I had to run into the store and rush home, like an alarm was going off in my head!! Love your videos!!!

[@houda89k]

I definitely felt all of this thank you for validating all the feelings! I love being a mum but it doesn't take away how challenging this whole thing can be x

[@Amy-qc2qq]

💙❤💚💛 these are by far the best parenting videos on KZbin. I appreciate you so much - thank you for making them.

[@erinjanes2797]

I relate to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE. Especially the alone bit...I feel so alone most says. This has been the hardest thing I've ever done. Thank you for your honesty in this...it truly helps.

[@julesc9875]

It is so great and refreshing to hear a realistic account of the challenges a first time mom can face. I always wanted to be a mum and struggled with infertility for years and years until I got my baby, but boy oh boy it was not what I expected at all, no one could ever prepare me for the postpartum anxiety, the hormonal crash, the sleep deprivation, the body image issues, the feelings of lonlyness, my total lack of experience for what probably is one of the hardest jobs, actually for me was so so hard I found myself regretting entering the motherhood path a couple of times. But it definitely gets better, I'll say after the first 3 or 4 months when my baby outgrew his colics and reflux and became more interactive and I got used to the lack of sleep then the pure joy of motherhood kicked in. I love him to bits, at the end of the day the love for a child is so strong you find the strength to move forward, everyone has done it since the dawn of time.. so why wouldn't you?.. and as my therapist said .. always put things in perspective, babies are babies for a short period of time, enjoy the good part and always think that the bad will pass very soon and you will be fine 🙂

[@katarinawetzel3551]

Thank you for speaking up about what it’s really like for us moms! I came upon your videos and the minute I started watching I was hooked. I’m a first time mom and I have always dreamed about being a mom! I knew motherhood wouldn’t be easy, but It definitely flipped my life to a whole different direction! I can relate to everything you talk about. I really do appreciate you for being so genuine and honest. It has helped me feel like I’m not alone! You are doing a great job! Keep it up!

[@taylorjohnson2633]

Thank you for this video! I really appreciate it!!

[@cleansetsandbaguettes5236]

i really needed this video. thank you

[@jenimedina]

Love you! Great, inspiring words! 🥲❤️

[@alisoncooperman9746]

Thank you for this video, I am currently almost two weeks postpartum and I relate to every single one of these. This makes me feel so much less alone and helps me feel like things will get easier.

[@jess_hover]

Congratulations!! 2 weeks ago! That is amazing and yes it will get so much easier, specifically as your body heals more and you eventually feel more rested. Hang in there. So much love to you ❤️

[@ashleycorrell7369]

This video speaks to my soul. The anxiety over everything. When my baby makes even the tiniest fuss it’s like a panic button has been hit and I’ll I can think is “I don’t know what he wants”. Leaving the house is so stressful I cried at Walgreens when they said I needed an appointment for my second Covid shot when previously they were only taking walk ins. The thought of having to go out again the next day was overwhelming. And the unfinished projects. I had to stop a grilled cheese sandwich half done because the baby started crying.

[@stinestausholm7227]

Thank you for this!💖

[@philippapay4352]

Thank you for helping the bewildered and benighted, many of whom did not want children or do not think they are equipped to be good parents. You give people hope that they can do it. The deal is to be a "good enough" parent. No one gets perfect parents or can be one such. The rest of it is knowing you want and are prepared for children before starting a family. If not, there is no obligation to reproduce. Don't have children you do not want. You decide.

[@emeraldcollier178]

This was so on time... I have a 1 month old as of today and I resonated with so much of this. Thank you so much.

[@Emilyjadeofficial]

I’m 34 weeks pregnant with my first, so this was a really helpful video to watch! Thank you ☺️

[@mariahpedro3298]

THANK YOU!!! I’m a first time mom with a 7mo old and couldn’t relate more to this!!!!

[@sarahjewel04]

So much of this applies to me and thank you for making this video. I’ll be 3 weeks pp on Monday.

[@chalenem373]

Thanks for sharing, honestly sometimes it’s just reassuring that others are feeling similar. I related to so many of these things.

[@tonimcrobie1092]

Popping on to say a thank you to you and your team. I am really struggling in postpartum and my husband is so amazing at it, I feel incredibly alone. Like I am the only one who finds this all challenging, so watching you and relating to feeling scared and a little lost is very helpful. I wish I could send you a coffee right now as a thank you

[@lizbellamy7501]

Omg I'm in the exact same boat. My husband and I are both on parental leave and he's doing great, meanwhile I'm exhausted and stressed beyond belief. I wish I could just enjoy this time and all its highs and lows, but it's wearing on me! Just wanted to commiserate and say you're not alone. ♥️

[@CrystalNeri]

well said. Thanks for sharing ❤

[@charliewillems1582]

Thanks so much for this video 🙏 💕

[@wendyjohnson7834]

Yes! Have a 2 month old, these are all so true. Thank you!

[@allyoelofse5882]

Wow! This video has honestly restored some self confidence that I desperately needed! My baby will be 10 weeks old tomorrow and I have been really struggling with alot of things mentioned here! The anxiety and panic is super real and in my opinion so uncontrollable... I never thought that I would have these feelings as I have always wanted to be a Mommy but I want to put it out there that after struggling with a condition called PCOS and actually giving up on the dream of having a baby, when it actually happened (HUGE SHOCK), I feel as though you are completely thrown and its a HUGE adjustment. I really hope that I am not alone in this and I know 100% that every day is already feeling better!

[@thefluffymarshmallo]

I felt everything in this in my soul. Like, really. I had such anxiety when my daughter was born. All I heard was "sLeEp WhEn ThE bAbY sLeEpS" which is great advice, unless you're so scared and anxious that she's stopped breathing that you only sleep for about 20 mins at a time until you just _need_ to feel her little chest rising and falling. Even now, after a year of being a mom, it hasn't gotten much easier. Sure, some things are better, but new challenges come up constantly. She walks around and helps me put her onesies on, but doesn't want to sit still long enough to have a diaper change, and she still wakes up 2-4 times a night like a newborn. I haven't had a good night's sleep in so long and I get on myself all the time for misplacing keys or forgetting stuff, not realizing that I'm functioning on very little sleep.

[@AmyCheri]

Oh my gosh thank goodness for you 💕💕💕💕💕

[@sweetpeaislove]

That new born cry panic is so real!! My son is 5 months and I remember the first couple months feeling so panicked whenever he cried and it made me afraid to take him out. I didn’t want anyone to hear him cry and feel like I didn’t know how to take care of my baby

[@lizspitzer6729]

Looking so good, Jess!

[@BabySleepTeam]

Thanks so much for your video. It is so informative to learn of an app where you can get help and support when it can feel so isolating and lonely after having a baby. Thanks for the great tips!

[@serenakirkman]

New subscriber ❤️ absolutely love your channel and the positivity as well as the honesty. I have an 8 year old little girl and currently expecting a baby girl and I have been feeling so anxious just because of how long it’s been!

[@MJ-he1hf]

Thanks for being honest about how hard it is, especially the dreaded newborn phase. It's not easy, but everyone else seemed to think it was the best thing ever and I felt so weird and alone in my struggles

[@Miccah95]

Thanks Jessica! When I watch your videos I know I am not alone with my baby... I feel like having another one somedays, and then I decide she is going to be an only child. And then I love her, and then I just cant stand being with her anymore. Everything you describe is exactly what it feels like. Thank you from Brazil 🇧🇷

[@foxyred1015]

My son didn’t sleep through the night until he was 4. That was extremely challenging for me!

[@ranita405]

That’s true! And coronavirus made it so much worst. My delivery was tough and I got very weak. Only my husband was there to help me and our baby. At some point of my recovery I felt as if I was going to die and I was so afraid to leave my husband alone with our new born. After of the first weeks, I started feeling better. After the postpartum recovery, I was healthy and strong again! Some days I feel like I fail, some other days are great!

[@mckennasheetz2577]

Jess Hover!!!!! Should move to the central coast so we can be real life friends 🙏

[@feliciaharris3218]

Currently pregnant the anxiety i now have after watching this... yay lol

[@christinamcclory6841]

I must say I have watched every video of yours and i love you and your message

[@ToniRichter11]

I was just feeling a lot of these this weekend. I’m 32 weeks pregnant and my friends and I went to a outdoor event in our neighborhood. I was looking forward to it and as soon as they all came over to walk over, my energy shifted and I didn’t want to go, walking was difficult, I had to use the bathroom like 3 times in the time we were there, I needed to break away to eat, and I couldn’t partake in the drinks they were having. It just felt physically and emotionally disconnected and then when we left my friends went out “without me” for the whole day. I have a story in my head that I’ll be replaced, I’ll be forgotten, etc. It was hard to explain it to my friends that aren’t parents. And of course it’s okay for them to have activities without me and I know they’ve expressed hard feelings of friends becoming parents and feeling forgotten as well. It’s just so hard and I’m not finished being pregnant yet. I’m scared of the time demands of new parenthood, the priority shifts, and change in flexibility. It felt very lonely this weekend and I imagine it’ll feel more lonely at times once baby is born. Long story and point is, I relate and thank you for bringing it up.

[@carasanders4634]

Every single thing you said is what I’ve been going through the past 5 months. And I thought I was alone in this 😭

[@ashbabe1945]

Thanks for the stroller through doors tip!

[@gamzetoylan]

Gosh this video is brilliant! my babe just turned 1. I wish I have seen this video in the early days of postpartum.

[@wolfe8421]

I started watching your videos while I was preparing to try and conceive. Now my 5.5wk old son Is sleeping on my chest (after 8 hours of fussing) Loved your video. I feel grateful that I can even relate to any of this. Isn't that funny! Thank you for being a part of my motherhood journey Jessica. (And your Facebook group has been so valuable to me and so many other women. X it's truly the most non judgemental and kind space for all of us parents. Thank you!) I'm so glad you're a voice in my mothering life. Thanks