Why Black kids hate their Parents | Signs of a Toxic Parent

[@emiliejose9877]

Most black parents don't give love to their kids, don't help them grow and speak bad words or curse them. They just show off in front of people, don't want to accept failure in their marriage etc... I am black I know what I am talking about

[@intelligentting9025]

Facts ,most black parents don’t have respect for their kids , they have no accountability, they’re not apologetic and they will gaslight the hell out of you

[@KM-oy5yh]

AMEN AMEN, Sister, Me 2🎉

[@nadiastar6264]

I watched a four year old girl say the N word with the hard r in front of her mother and grandmother at a grocery store. No correction what so ever.

[@vanyalbertine1121]

Very true

[@user-wi5oh3wk3e]

"i put you in this world, i can take you out" is the craziest line I have ever heard from parents.

[@simonehawthorne2647]

Yea like their ass would be in jail if they were to even try

[@user-wi5oh3wk3e]

@@simonehawthorne2647 for real.

[@middleeasternforhire8985]

First of all God has given life to me and he will decide when it's over 2nd of all your ass is going to land in jail and then hell if you do that

[@sachicocoa9013]

Like, yeah, sure. Have your own child's blood on your hands just because they talked back to you.

[@user-wi5oh3wk3e]

@@sachicocoa9013 literally.

[@Kay-kg6ny]

When they say "respect" they always just seem to mean "unquestioning obedience"

[@EsiriE]

Right 😂

[@devincalfee4908]

slaves

[@preciousone9377]

I’m 58 yrs old and that’s how my mother still feels she can treat me and my siblings. I’ve had enough and have chosen my peace and to go no contact with her. I’m tired of constantly being triggered by her. Smh

[@user-ho1hp9ih5p]

I just had a 3 hour conversation with my Mother. She has a habit of saying whatever she wants, has no filter, won't apologize after saying she hurt my feelings. She is rude, has not filter, disrespectful, disabled (has needed double knee replacement for 20 years, but won't loose weight, causing me to resent her for not fixing the issue when it first occurred) and expects to be waiting on hand and foot with no complaint from us. She just apologized for something she did 9 years ago!!! She puts others ahead of my father and me. I am always told I am being disrespectful because I have an opinion different from her or what she believes is right! It is so tiring!! I don't believe she understands how her disability affects her immediate family.

[@user-ol9bo2ei1r]

Yep they are slave drivers and they wonder why life hands them their ass in old age.

[@thatbluegirl7528]

I made the decision in 8th grade to completely drop them when I move out. I’m 21 still at home and not one day has gone by that I swept the decision away. I’m not African or Caribbean but I feel the exact same! They have zero accountability, can’t handle criticism, massive hypocrites, delusional, gas lighters, communicating is uncomfortable, etc. My entire childhood was nothing but loneliness, tears, and emotional neglect. I truly HATE them. When they go on vacation it’s like a walk in nature…PURE BLISS. Not to mention my birther is OBSESSED with trying to use my tuition money on bills.

[@EsiriE]

That’s pretty disgusting. I’m soo sorry you’re going through this ❤️🫂 I pray God gives you peace and a way out of this situation.

[@Memomommy]

I feel you, I currently am still living with them, once I’m in my job, I’m done with them. They are so toxic, I can’t be around around them. I say hi and by, I don’t intitate nothing with them. I can admit, I’m manipulative but I’ve chose not use my tricks anymore. I use tools instead of tricks, that’s the only way I’ll survive in my house and in this world. Ik manipulation so well because of my family members.

[@Kyohan137]

You hate them so much but you still live in their house, please explain.

[@EsiriE]

@@Kyohan137 lack of money tp move out? etc there can be a few reasons

[@Flower.Power.1996]

@@Kyohan137 Are you ok? Have you seen the state of the world. We are in a recession and inflation is global. People should ideally be able to lean on their parents upon transitioning into adulthood.

[@Kay-kg6ny]

Nigerian-American here. My mom made a convenient habit out of making declarations about me being "westernized" or "acting like a white girl", only after I would point out something hostile or unreasonable or hypocritical that she had done. I hit the point where I was like "If all my culture is ever going to do for me is be used against me as a weapon, then you can keep it, at least your interpretation of it."

[@TWLogik]

I learned when I got older. When my mother would make crazy comments to not even respond and she stopped making them. Just say you have to got the bathroom or you gotta take a call, etc.

[@yetundethesketcher542]

Too many people that shouldn't have kids are having them 🤦🏾‍♀️😂

[@EsiriE]

No lies told here

[@KM-oy5yh]

Soooooooooooo #TRUE, Sister 🎉

[@KM-oy5yh]

​@@EsiriE💯💯💯💯💯

[@BD091959]

So make sure u don't make the same mistake as ur parents...don't have kids!

[@vipuntilwhenever128]

@@BD091959 i won't

[@Rainjojo]

I’ve been scapegoated both by my relatives and community for not ‘acting black enough’. People feel entitled to respect for doing the bare minimum, but I’ve learned: to bite back against verbal garbage, work hard to escape unfortunate circumstances, and act unapologetically myself lmfao. I refuse to bring a kid to this dystopian hell scape

[@tommyreusse3858]

And the sad thing is.. you would clearly actually be a good parent...

[@joshuadala3508]

Ikr I’m being scapegoated by my parents and twin sister and because I’m always the one being scapegoated my sister thinks my parents are good but the evidence that my parents are narcissist is still in the both of us my father isn’t there for me emotionally absent and doesn’t want to hear the truth calling it disrespect it’s annoying and now I have anger issues at 12 ++ but my parents are thinking it’s something else when it’s them they won’t take me for therapy and knowing the truth I’m trying to show my sister but she thinks I’m the one that’s wrong saying “it’s an African home “ I want her to believe me and know my parents are toxic

[@cupcake8108]

I think every parent needs to see this video but they’ll most likely see it as disrespectful or not even watch it. This video tells the truth.

[@EsiriE]

Some parents commented on this video and they weren’t pleased lol. I think I had to delete one of the comments because they were insulting me for being rude and ungrateful 😅

[@cupcake8108]

@@EsiriE They can never take the truth. Hopefully one day a toxic parent will watch this and change.

[@MosesMagnum99]

​@@EsiriElol. You should've kept the comment. They're proving your point.

[@intelligentting9025]

@@EsiriEthat’s why we have break this cycle and do better

[@joshuadala3508]

I want to show my sister but she thinks I’m being disrespectful and rude to my parents and elders she’s been blinded I don’t know what to do

[@KiraRenee]

Oh wow you’re speaking FACTS! What I’ve learned for sure is that type of behavior is passed down and we have to be the generation to stop it. There’s positive ways of showing discipline and teaching respect

[@EsiriE]

Exactly!! 💯

[@suave2774]

Facts !!

[@joshuadala3508]

Recently I was pranking my father by texting him in another language he called my mom and tolled her to take my phone away from me that I’m learning stubborness I need help my dad is narcissistic and emotionally absent he is insane and hypocritical the internet is my friend now God will judge him and my sister will understand when we are much older because she doesn’t experience what I experience I need to be saved from them

[@stefanothegr8138]

I’m black American… I truly think my mother is mentally ill. It’s not JUST ME as her child that she’s toxic to. It’s literally the whole world. I had to cut her loose at 25 because her in my life will literally destroy me more than what she’s already done in my childhood. I wish her nothing but healing, but I no longer. For me to question my own existence because of my mother’s toxicity… i didn’t ask to be here, she had me.

[@EsiriE]

Very sorry to hear this. Sometimes people just need to go their separate ways...family, friends, etc

[@lcchill]

The problem is most of our elders in the diaspora, no matter where in the world they are from, is they do not want to fix themselves at all. They are so caught up in their narcissistic views that they do not want to change. They are so comfortable in their dysfunction they see no reason to change!!

[@emiliejose9877]

​@@lcchill They don't want to change that's right, but with God you got to change.

[@GHO5tMod3]

@@lcchillexactly

[@KM-oy5yh]

AMEN AMEN AMEN,Iam going the #Same thing 🎉

[@PrincessScorpioMoon]

It’s all narcissistic behavior

[@EsiriE]

That word has never really been very clear to me, but from Google’s definition I think you’re right.

[@PrincessScorpioMoon]

@@EsiriE do some deep research on it read about it and KZbin videos on narcissism behavior and narcissistic parents

[@EsiriE]

@@PrincessScorpioMoon yeah I’ve seen a few videos on narcissistic partners etc but I shall. Thank you

[@suave2774]

@@EsiriE it’s hard to take certain words serious a lot of people learned new words during the pandemic which was 2020

[@sandyscheeks9210]

​@@suave2774That is so true. That word gets thrown around a lot these days

[@simpletruths5322]

Thank you for making this video, seems a lot of people are waking up and refusing to accept narcissistic behaviours, I’m witnessing more and more people calling out parents for the lack of respect towards their kids. A lot of kids are more emotionally mature than the parents x

[@EsiriE]

Thank you for watching 🤎

[@srobearl]

You make a great point. They ask a question, you answer. Then they take the answer personally instead of weighing the merits of the argument.

[@EsiriE]

precisely!

[@joshuadala3508]

Ikr and when they ask you some questions and you answer they tell you not to answer it’s annoying and when you don’t answer next time they call it rude and disrespectful

[@abbyross9170]

Or when you speak how you feel, or make a mistake they compare you to the family out cast. Or someone with Serious issues. What makes it worst is when they caused it or made it worse.

[@abbyross9170]

@Amaria Jade I'm sorry that happened to you. They use it to try to manipulate and get you to do what they want. They want you to say "I don't want to be as bad as them🥺" like no, I don't not want to I'm simply NOT like them! Parents like this are conceded with perception.

[@judyo7]

FACTS! 💯 I’m going through the same thing.

[@cassandrayeboah8236]

I'm going through the same thing always comparing me to another people. 😢

[@joshuadala3508]

It’s happening to me and my sister but their saying it’s the internet and I found this debate and I showed my sister just for her to say their not toxic they want the best for us and are teaching us more things I don’t know how to help her and get her out of the hands of the devil to stop blinding her

[@6zilla9zilla57]

Everything you said here my parents did, except the money thing. Then they wonder why I don't talk to them. My parents didn't teach me anything besides to respect them, I seriously hate them

[@EsiriE]

🫂🫶🏾

[@Memomommy]

I resent my parents because they didn’t set me up for this world at all, then they get mad when I make bad decisions, buts it’s like you didn’t develop me or raise me well at all.

[@user-dz3yp7lb2j]

@@Memomommyif you think they did a poor job, then you must have an idea where the corrections need to be made. It seems like a weird reason to dislike your parents. It sounds a little bratty as well. Maybe you’re just trying to be a part of the conversation?

[@Mmmhmm_sure]

​@@user-dz3yp7lb2j stop excusing shitty parent behaviour

[@joshuadala3508]

Me too but it’s my dad and he is wondering why I like to avoid him and why I like it when it’s gone

[@providencee03]

Hate is definitely the right word 😭

[@daniella8400]

I’m Caribbean American and my parents are the same way!! It’s like we’re born owing them something!

[@EsiriE]

Crazy 😂

[@BD091959]

U do owe them something. The room and board for 18+ years!. Change the laws if u don't like ur child whose under 18+ give them to the state to raise with no repercussions!

[@daniella8400]

@@BD091959 children don’t owe you anything! They didn’t ask to be born! It’s time duty to provide for them when they can’t provide for themselves

[@kaykay5605]

​@@BD091959WTH

[@csmith7912]

This exist in Black American households as well. Baby boomer parents will never admit when they are wrong. This is fact cause I lived with one who would blatantly do wrong and never admit to it.

[@clairedaniels1877]

Baby boomers have been the worst parents

[@jaxthewolf4572]

@@clairedaniels1877 Yep

[@joshuadala3508]

Gen x to

[@a.p.mcintosh12]

When you got to (4) - calling the truth disrespect... I died. ;) The amount of times I've been accused for talking to one of my parents as if they're a child or that I've got a "bad attitude"... (but in other circumstances they swear/cuss at me)... WILD. Thank you. And yes - Black/Jamaican guy here.

[@EsiriE]

😭🫶🏾

[@Watchingvids01]

Yeah its so not possible to be heard

[@joshuadala3508]

Ikr I’m just like that and they call me disrespectful that I talk to them like I’m their mates when its the truth I’m telling them it’s my dad that caused this behavior my sister thinks I’m a bad child but I’m always scapegoated by my parents and my sister is the adored and better behaved one I want to show her this video and she cursed me for thinking my dad is a narcissist even though it’s true I have anger issues and I want attention because of my narcissistic parents I don’t want to talk to her again since she doesn’t want to hear the truth because she’s never gotten beating or flogged she has a better behavior than me

[@kpopisawesome9343]

It's even worst when u got a mother who is desperate for men, victim blames, a pick me and stands up for Rkelly

[@EsiriE]

🫂 😩

[@unknownuser4879]

This is my life story. Just that my father is r kelly

[@Lakishia]

so true but end up old and alone anyways....

[@knuclestheechidna5406]

Or when you're a boy and you have a mother who hates men and she takes her hatred out on her sons.

[@LollyMadikiza-xw4ok]

​@@Lakishia...and jealous of her daughter

[@cupcake8108]

This video is spot on I almost cried. I’m 22 and I just left my toxic mom and dad and completely blocked them out of my life. Best decision I’ve ever made the things my parents have done to me are unspeakable. There’s only so much the kids can take before we decide to leave took me a long time to get out of it but I made it💜🩷💜 Thank you this video.

[@EsiriE]

Thank you for watching. May God heal and restore your soul ❤️🫂

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

Glad you left love.

[@clairedaniels1877]

Good for you. Dont ever go back. And stay out of debt. Dave ramsey videos will help with budgeting.

[@SiddityPrincess]

This was my family to the T. I also hate how they abuse the "Well, we did the best that we can" Phrase... but Did you thought? Literally there was no obvious changes in trying to do better nor try to change their actions. I think this is just one of those things that they say to avoid addressing the real issues. I had a jealous step mother and step sister. I later had an extended family member confirm that this was the case. They would always make it seem like I had an issue, or would always look at me like I was competition. And would even try to compare me to my step sister. They never apologize...ever. I was beat once by my father even after receiving the unwarranted beating, he didn't even apologize..... It's not until they get up in age and need these same children to come in and help and support them when they get the rude awakening. And wonder why their children aren't wanting anything to do with them.

[@joshuadala3508]

Ikr

[@joshuadala3508]

My father or mother never beats my sister but both of them are narcissists and my sister thinks their not toxic they are teaching us manners when their making me and her more aggressive and blinding her from the truth eventually like the Bible says what’s under the darkness will come to light and she’ll know I’m right

[@missbearlockholmes]

I think that a better question, is why do black parents hate their kids? I wish my mom had never had me. She did not want to be a parent, made no preparations for it, and was not quiet about hating the responsibility. Now I'm stuck working my way through a life that I didn't ask for, with no help, and endless negativity from her.

[@EsiriE]

Don’t regret your existence. God loves you and you have purpose. Seek him and everything will become clear. ❤️ I love you and rooting for you.

[@clairedaniels1877]

God actually doesnt know how to love any of us and has trapped us in this never ending cycle of reincarnation. To live nightmares over and over again. He does it to feed off of us. Off our energy. He eats off of it. Its horrible. Im trying to figure out how to get off this planet and never come back.

[@jaxthewolf4572]

I think it's generational trauma and the lack of seeking help.

[@asarishepard8171]

Sorry thats awful its like at thst point theyre like I have a scape goat for life. Disgusting 😂

[@missbearlockholmes]

@@EsiriE thank you. I am doing my best, and praying.

[@UNF4lR]

it's crazy how ill still blame myself.. they have caused me to have suicidal thoughts since I was 9

[@homebound56]

I'm grown now, but my dad was never there (I met him and spent time with him at 26, but I still don't want to be around him). Anyway, my mother never taught me basic life skills, so now at 36 I'm so emotionally drained trying to fix what they broken, that I became unemployed, and binge drinking with no direction in my life. I'm still considered an afterthought among my mother and sisters. I'm the last person to know anything, they always have an issue with helping me with stuff (never each other.) It's a mess. If we could choose what family to be born into before we're actually born, I would've declined my family of origin so quick it won't even be funny.

[@EsiriE]

Nooo, no longer blame yourself and speak to someone about those thoughts. Please 🙏🏾 🫂

[@robbiesworld9156]

Didn’t take me too long to realize my mother was a lost cause set her in very old ways. I’ve never had to put up with so much disrespect and vindictiveness from anyone except her. Plans are underway for me to move out of here home and live elsewhere. And once I do I intend to permanently disavow her never to return again. Why? Because it’s the people closest to you that can absolutely destroy you.

[@johnd8538]

I'm a white half Irish/Englishman. My mother has domineered and controlled my whole life, my dad left home when I was 6 and she stopped me seeing him till I was 10, I was heartbroke and disillusioned. She drank a lot ( but worked hard after a breakdown and having the electric supply cut off a few times) and had several partners and tries to make amends now she's in her 80s, I'm 55....I was left hard/brittle by my younger days and still am now. She tries to act like it never really happened now but gives me money, that feels like a guilt token and unsurprisingly, I feel guilty receiving and spending. I give as much as I can to my daughter to try and even things out. All fucked up tho and should never have come to this.

[@EsiriE]

Thank you for sharing your story

[@spumantemerrick2832]

As a first generation Brit specifically a Windrush one i could tell you stories of my single Mother. She sure was jealous of her daughters big time. I got the feeling that she worshipped her sons and competed with her daughters. I can honestly say that I'm glad that she's no longer in my life.

[@MistyMoonie]

The is absolutely true, nobody's perfect but *WHY* in the world do African parents have to be toxic, like *WHY*

[@EsiriE]

I ask myself the sameeething

[@MistyMoonie]

@@EsiriE when I'm 19 I'm leaving the family

[@EsiriE]

@@MistyMoonie if you can, it’s probably for the best 🤗

[@MistyMoonie]

@@EsiriE I'm never coming back (to my mom's)

[@EsiriE]

@@MistyMoonie hmm, just don’t make any decisions based off of emotion. You can dm me on Instagram if you need someone to vent to ❤️

[@shesonfire_]

I’m dealing with this right now. If your parents were baby boomers or the generation right after them…. You already know smh

[@scottsummersreloaded4618]

U on point about it all! I had a covert narcissist mother and father. Well I really wouldnt call em that. They were a sorry excuse for that. I call em people I had the misfortune of sharing dna with. They were two evil people who had no earthly business having any children at all!

[@EsiriE]

Sorry to hear that ❤️

[@mesmile8076]

I don’t like my mother, I tried to but her character is too weird and I’ll never understand her mentality, I’m just glad I have a good head on my shoulders despite having some messed up & unsupportive parents

[@EsiriE]

We don’t have to “like” them tbh. I feel you o this. Just love them from a distance. Protect your peace ❤️

[@joshuadala3508]

Me too but my father instead

[@Not_QuQu]

And they wonder why i keep hiding my things

[@Teannaschannel]

This video is SO necessary! I mean I'm already out of my household at my big age 🙄 but for whenever I decide to have kids of my own, it's something I need to be mindful about. Almost everything you mentioned reminded me of my high school best friend's mom 😱. And taking your child's hard-earned money is wild!! absolutely not!! These all seem like mental issues parents need to resolve but I was hoping to hear you speak on toxicity as it relates to inducing physical harm and just your overall opinion on the limitations around beating your child, if any.

[@EsiriE]

Sameee I’m out of the house too 🤣 It is wild and it happens alottt. More than people know. I actually forgot to touch on that. But if I’m being honest I don’t fully know where I stand on that yet. 😕 I think it has its pros and cons honestly and from what I’ve seen, every child has to be dealt with differently.

[@JulieSevelson-nb9nj]

#Don'tBeatBlackKids.

[@fredrika27]

I had to pay rent out of the money I was saving for college even though my foster parents got paid from the state and weren't helping me with college. I had to work 20-30hrs a week for five years of my BA or else I would have never made it. Had my foster parents not taken my money over the summer (it was HALF of my monthly pay), I would have been fine during the school year. When a friend of mine asked me to be roommates with her one summer, I moved in with her. My foster parents were livid because I called county welfare and told them I was no longer living with my foster parents. Welfare cancelled their child entitlement. After this, I only visited home at holidays. I was often told that their home wasn't a hotel (this was also told to me when they got entitlement). If it weren't for my foster siblings whom I love a great deal and would babysit over the holidays, I would have left forever. Just entitlement. I often ask myself why people get children they are not going to love. It just creates another generation who will abuse their own kids unless they take very active stance to prohibit this. My siblings and I recognize this behavior and have raised our children differently. Our kids actually like us as people and parents. They have respect for us because we have respect for them.

[@joshuadala3508]

I’m 12 my parents are toxic and narcissistic and emotionally neglectful , unreliable and using Jesus and the Bible as their defense if I tell them how I feel they call it disrespectful they say I talk to them like I child when I’m just telling them the truth and they just don’t like what I said and my sister thinks that to and I told my sister about this and she supports them for some reason and she cursed me for calling my father a narcissist

[@footballgirlhighlights]

I saw the title and all I can say is the strong ones out here are the kids who say NO..Our problems come from other kids who obey and lash out in school or on the roads..then they think joy will come from sex or excitement..then a new kid is born into the cycle and ..it repeats. When were older we realise the treatment we received..

[@EsiriE]

Wow, yes I believe this is true!!

[@Craterface666]

My earliest memory was sitting in my diaper, with my mother screaming at me that I ruined her life. She treated me pretty badly. Made me work cleaning the house, feeding the cows and horses. I got beat with belts boards and spoons. Locked in my room grounded whenever they couldn't handle me. I hate loud noises just because of all the screaming. I have mental health problems from the abuse and they tell my siblings I need to just get over it. I dont speak to my family anymore. I dont spank or punish my kids, or let them around toxic people. Also, my parents also used their religion as their excuse for their abuse. I believe those who truly believe in religion are likely to abuse others. You were not reasoned into religion, it was shoved on you by your parents. So why would you take the religion they believe in and think its good or will make you better than them. I left christianity 10 uears ago and its the best thing I ever did. I dont consult the bible or pretend god tells me what to do, or that I deserve respect from my kids because of a commandment. I parent peacefully every day and mu children are happy and well adjusted and so sweet. My daughter every day tells me I'm the best dad in the world. I would have never said that, even on fathers day. I hate my parents and what they did to me, but I also hate religion because of what it does to people in general. 2 days ago I asked my 7 year old what a sinner, savior, or religion is. She has no clue, and it's beautiful. Teach your kids how to think, not what to think. I homeschool so they wont be indoctrinated by woke cultists, but I wouldnt have had the sense to do so if I hadnt experienced the cult of christianity first. It is a cult. Everybody uses the bible, but it's just the imagination of some anchient people without understanding. There is no god, he is not there for you, you will die, and theres nothing afterward, so make the best of today. I died and came back, there was nothing. Dont waste time on religion. Start a family and get therapy and cut out the family and religion that harmed you and keeps you emotionally chained to abusive people.

[@Angiebee.]

My mom constantly makes me feel like a financial burden and I don’t even ask for money. I don’t like asking for money from my parents because I feel guilty but she will send it to my sister and I anyway and then complain about how she has to help us and that we aren’t doing enough. We are never enough for her and I don’t like being around her but I’m a college student and need help with funding. I only go to my dad and I rarely do so. He always tells me to go to him but I tell him I don’t like too because I feel guilty. But he doesn’t make us feel bad about giving us money but my mom uses it against us and won’t go to therapy with us because it’s a waste of time to her. Sometimes I feel like I despise my mom because all she does is judge my sister and I. She’s even called me a hoe to my sister behind my back because I was catfished by a man from tinder and she thinks we are whores for using tinder

[@EsiriE]

I’m sorry to hear this. I think you need to stop taking her money and ask your father for assistance while you’re at college. Relieve her of her duties kindly and try to get a job if your workload allows you to work. It’s your parents job to look after you financially, so stop feeling bad for taking their money. You didn’t bring yourself into this world.

[@Angiebee.]

@@EsiriE that’s a good idea. I just got a new job recently that pays $16. I was payed $12 at my old job and overworked. It caused me to struggle in school. It’s really hard. I feel really depressed about it.

[@providencee03]

You’re definitely not the problem. I hope you heal❤love & light

[@EsiriE]

@@Angiebee. sorry I just saw this, I can relate tbh. How are things going for you now? ❤️

[@snukwavey980]

Some people dont deserve kids we never asked to be born on this earth.

[@omowhanre]

My parents are Nigerian and never made us feel like a financial burden…ever. We were not rich. They also told me sorry when they messed up. Saying you’re from a certain place doesn’t mean you get a pass to be a horrible person especially to your kids. They also weren’t perfect, so…

[@EsiriE]

I’m glad you had a better experience ☺️

[@T.C556]

Thank you for honouring your Nigerian household. Counselling/therapy is a good option for the traumatised. Toxic parents are there in every culture.

[@EsiriE]

@@T.C556 remove yourself from my page!

[@yaggayaggaya9918]

09:35 you putting that disclaimer made me laugh because, yes, there’s a multiplicity of African cultures and the parents don’t respect their children in ANY of them 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you good, sis

[@EsiriE]

I know 😂😭 was just trying to be more “reasonable” I guess 😂😂

[@yaggayaggaya9918]

@@EsiriE no I got you 😂 thank you for the video, subscribed now

[@EsiriE]

@@yaggayaggaya9918 thank you for watching ❤️🤗

[@kylasounique]

I relate to this video in most ways . I feel like my mom always made it seem normal to me that after arguments because of something she started to make me feel bad , all she’d do Is (i feel like ) , bribe me with food and when id try to bring up issues im dealing with or try tp explain my feelings she tells me she doesn’t care, and it’s always like she trauma dumps on me making me think i hurt her or that she has it harder to me . Basically that my feelings don’t matter and the only thing that matters is that she does everything for me so its like a lose lose and sometimes its like i almost think we’re doing well but it always unravels to an argument and when its really bad she calls be b*tches, and when i tell her how much that makes me feel she doesn’t care. I am now working on trying to stop depending on her so i can be on my own but she makes it seem like adulthood is scary and that idk its like she also expects so much from me at the same time . I know she has her own issues but i feel like i was the only one in my family to try to talk about issues and nothing gets solved so its a never ending cycle but i came on KZbin to watch some video’s because most times I feel alone . She is very toxic but i still live with her until i can just have a healthy distance from her to give myself a boundary so that i can heal.

[@EsiriE]

So sorry to hear this! work on building yourself up, unlearning toxic behaviours, leaning on God and becoming independant ❤️

[@TaRonThomasTv]

Everything you said warrants an apology. She needs to deal with her own insecurities and emotional abuse before she's able to love someone else. Distance is the best option if you ask me. Maybe when she loses you, she'll realize just how much of a good person you are. It's hard to distance yourself from someone who birthed you but nothing good will come of letting people get away with bad behavior. And lastly, you are never alone. Buy a dog, hang with friends, and get one with a higher power. Allah will keep you safe and at peace. Blessings.

[@neonraindrop8357]

Girl I would just like to let you you are not alone, everything that you just listed here is exactly what my mother does as well and I am so sorry that you two have to go through this💜💜💜💜 I am also constantly manipulated into feeling like I need her to be independent while being made to feel like a loser for not moving out and having my stuff together yet. She's always making me feel guilty for not liking her by bribing me with food but wants to continue this endless cycle of making up and arguing it's exhausting

[@cassandrayeboah8236]

This part children obey your parents is their anthem 😭😭😭my mum always sees me as a disrespectful, that I always insult her, if I say hhmm, Eeeii, my God, come on, even if I blink my mum sees them as an insult to her. She can shout but if I'm explaining how I feel, she'll say I'm exchanging words with her. I have no say in the house the moment I open my mouth to talk or speak she'll shut me down and call me names and my brother will be taking side with her there is no communication, no relationship 😭😭😭

[@joshuadala3508]

Same with me and my mother and father and my sister is taking sides with them because I’m the scapegoat I love the fact that someone is going through what I’m going through and understands what I’m feeling God will bless you

[@joshuadala3508]

Also tell them that the Bible also says dont provoke your children to anger

[@spinachmakesyoustronger2204]

Let’s be honest - many are narcissistic.

[@tums2254]

I am almost at retirement age, and you are speaking straight facts and I am born/raised in U.S.A. and experienced all that you stated.

[@brettalston511]

Children who have parents that took money from then growing up oftentimes grow up stealing from the people they "love" because they think it's normal

[@EsiriE]

Hmm I never thought of this to be honest

[@brettalston511]

@@EsiriE i found out the hard way & of course, there will always be exceptions to this

[@asarishepard8171]

Omg I'm white and this happened to me and my twin, mom stole her bday and Christmas money shed saved, and our step-dad took mine. At least he asked me for it, and I felt I had to, mom just jacked my sister 😂

[@user-ho1hp9ih5p]

The truth is disrespectful!!!! You spoke to my sou!!! My Mother's side gas lights me by saying this.They never take ownership!!! I am always the one that is being disrespectfu!!! I don't go along with drama, gas lighting and toxic behavior. It took a blow up with my Mother on Thanksgiving to address years of disrespect, trauma and being diacarded by my Mother. I truly think my Mother still sees me as a child and I am 39 years old. I believe my Mother is jealous of me because of the close relationship I have with my Father. She didn't support my work events but made a way to attend her friends retirement party in the same buidling! She's disparaged my appearance yet wonder why I don't call her, help her in and out of a car or carry her bag. She can no longer walk unassisted due to being over weight and having bad knees.

[@lindokmo7968]

Most of us as African Daughters. We just need to heal.Some of us have been through the most. So that we don't pass on the toxic parenting habits to our kids, nibblings etc. I also recommend Dr Umar's videos regarding African parenting teachings!

[@Theblackparentcoach]

Amazing video! Glad that I’ve found you during this season. I have battled this topic for so long as it’s so personal to me and I’ve finally decided to base my content on this alone! This black toxic parent issue needs to be highlighted. Thank you for doing just that. Culture should be beautiful not scary! I’m off to follow you on Instagram. I am 6 years into my journey with Christ so the Bible scriptures gave me life 🙌🏾 I’m excited for my first video on my new channel now. You did this so tastefully. Pray for me that I can be as tasteful 🙏🏾😂

[@EsiriE]

Aw thank you so much! It’s definitely an important topic! I hope your journey with Christ is going amazing 🙏🏾

[@edmundsishange3608]

Messing up and being toxic are not the same thing, folks must take responsibility.

[@ADHDAnnie-un9kq]

“You just didn’t like what I said”………I will remember it

[@isa_virtual]

I feel like those things are not only from african/caribbean parents especially, but black parents in general (I'm brazilian). The financial burden feeling, the "I did my best" to not to be held accountable for bad things they did, the entitlement just for bringing you into this world (even tho you didn't ask for it), the lack of respect, the comparisons, even the "you should forgive me because god this and that" (I'm not religious and my mom tried hard to put that guilt on me) it's all so similar... Unfortunately I took so much time to realize it and let it go, that I had to decide between them or my mental health (that is another BIG issue for black families). Of course I chose my mental health and didn't go back.

[@EsiriE]

Hence why the title says 'Black' and I think I mentioned other ethnic minority groups might see similarities too. I'm sorry for what you went through though, defo choose your mental health. Peace is priceless

[@caseyingram7230]

Hurt people hurt people

[@Theblackparentcoach]

Unless they are cycle breakers 🔥

[@suave2774]

Excuses

[@JulieSevelson-nb9nj]

#Don'tBeatBlackKids.

[@stephaniejordan9066]

That may be true don't keep on purpose doing it.

[@stephaniejordan9066]

I have Crohn's disease 18yrs enlarged heart defibrillator implanted one heart valve not working high blood pressure diabetic type 2 on insulin cataracts both eyes i need prayers also arthritis right hand bending to the right.Thank you.

[@chrissyyanks7444]

You were too spot on ! A lot of things you said were triggering because it’s so true!

[@derekkennedy20]

It's no mistake I stumbled on this video

[@KM-oy5yh]

AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN, Me either 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@makizenin1840]

I'm indian and i hate my friends more than my parents. my friends expect to obey and respect my parents despite knowing how horrible my father treats me. instead of supporting, my friends expects me to be tolerate this negative shitt....

[@breath3easy.]

Placing you in a space of Idolatry of parents.. many layers to this. It’s harmful and sad. Great, hard topic.

[@EsiriE]

Thank you for watching

[@XicaD]

My Mom left me with my grandmother the minute I was born and my sister on the couch for her father to find her when he got home from work. The thing that used to bother me is that she was not a drug addict or an alcoholic. That was her real feelings. Now, she is older and wants closure..

[@EsiriE]

🫂🫂 sorry to hear that. So what are you going to do? Have you guys ever spoken about it?

[@XicaD]

@@EsiriE well I moved 4 states away 20trs ago. It took me all that time to heal. The way she wants closure is by humiliating me and my sister.I feel that she needs to heal or we can all do it together but that's not what she wants. So, we just leave her alone.

[@user-zr9sh3ri8t]

Dr Ramini Dursuvla is the top USA psychology professor on Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She has many You Tube videos on this subject.

[@zareenwilhelm5811]

They can’t hear you, they think the crying kids are toxic

[@tybrown7096]

I’m a black mom. I’m 33.(we’re African American)I have a 3 year old daughter. My mom was horrible to me once she got a divorce because I was her burden then. After noticing that I had my daughter on purpose and planned. My mom still thinks she didn’t do anything wrong. She denies that she said that she wished she could abandon me like the turtles do their offspring. (Her words) She decided that my kid having behavior issues is my fault and not the fact that I’m getting divorced and her dad had the cops called on him for screaming at her and banging his head against the wall. I stopped talking to her after that accusation. You’re welcome mom…I let you go.

[@shadipahlavi]

black kids dont hate their parents it is the other way around

[@EsiriE]

Interesting take

[@akilahbatyah6505]

🎯The cruelest “joke” ever was finding out my narcissistic parent did like or love.

[@JusToniReacts]

I believe this . I don’t think I was loved It’s just not the same as how I parent .

[@Tony-bf3tf]

And also no it was not boring it helped me feel better especially the last part of the video when you said if you're parents abandoned you god will be there to hold you up it was something like that but when you said that i felt like crying that touched me and made me feel better thank you so much

[@EsiriE]

Aww I’m soo glad this helped you. God bless you and restore your soul or every hurt caused ❤️❤️❤️

[@antrianewsome2463]

The crazy part is, it’s the good parents that gets disrespected. I would like for some of the youth to make videos that include them being honest about their own behavior. I never hear children stating their own errors nor taking accountability for any of their shortcomings. There are times when a child(ren)will be wrong and expect a parent to not correct them & that is where the disrespect will take place by either saying something smart & uncalled for. See! Good parents are not without perfection, but the minute the child starts smelling themselves everything great that the parent has done for them to be loved, cared for, imparted into, prayed for, apologize to the child, and so much more & some children still have the audacity to think that that parent should take any form of disrespect. Some of you children are beyond disrespectful & give your ass to your parents to kiss & you expect so much & still give your parent(s) your ass to kiss. Bottom line! Some of you have been wrong and you won’t even apologize for your errors. Trust, God takes notes of both sides, children & their behavior are counted as well & when you stand alone before God he is going to ask you about you & no one else & trust that all of us will be judged on how we honored our parents here on earth & what we did or said wrong towards our parents & vice versa will be judged.

[@joanbain2010]

Amen I agree 1000 %

[@naburgr]

Yep...toxic parenting seems to have raised intelligent children that criticise their parents hihi I rather be criticised than seeing my babies wasted

[@robyndismon394]

What is your definition of a 'good' parent? And please be specific.

[@shebequeen4eva_CEO]

Im so happy my kids and I have a great relationship. Not perfect but its very good. Its a blessing when kids and parents can vibe and be cool with each other. I hope people can mend their relationship with their parents and vice versa. 🙏❤️

[@d3clips391]

Sad but it's always a problem... it's also a choice and a right way to do things.

[@creativefaculty]

Psalm 27:10 💯💯👌🏿

[@patrickturk8957]

my mom gave me a black eye when I was a little kid. She's a negative person

[@EsiriE]

😭😭😭 I’m soo sorry to hear that

[@JulieSevelson-nb9nj]

#Don'tBeatBlackKids.

[@patrickturk8957]

@@JulieSevelson-nb9nj Thank You !

[@preciousone9377]

So did mine, I was around 5/6. She was abusive for years. I never did that to my daughter. I’ve broken the cycle of abuse and dysfunction with my daughter. She and I get along well and respect each other. I’ve had to go no contact with my mother, I just want peace at this point.

[@patrickturk8957]

@@preciousone9377 I know how you feel. Hurt, frustrated maybe even betrayed. Treat your mother with respect because our parents are probably the only one's who going to look out for us. I'm sorry you had to experience that

[@charlim2479]

I wish there were more videos like this! Thank you for making a loving video that is a voice standing up for black children experiencing abuse by their parents ❤. So many truths!

[@vjnt1star]

take a loan for them...yes first thing I was asked to do when I started working and a big one may I add

[@patriceanderson8239]

As a parent I have to say, I've made mistakes when I comes to raising my children, but only with spoiling them. If anything my son is toxic to where he has no empathy.

[@intelligentting9025]

Yes 100% , I literally hate when my mum compare me to someone else , African parenting is too toxic and we must break the cycle

[@papi_sativa]

... The rest of Ephesians 6 talks about slaves obeying their masters. This matters because religion is a parent's strongest tool to control and manipulate children because that's what religion does to adults. It forces you to suspend disbelief because if you challenge or ask too many questions there will be consequences. Parents thus create this same dynamic and use religion as the support for it. The Bible is full of violence and hate and the church is full of people who practice violence and hate and won't be held accountable because y'all won't hold the beliefs accountable.

[@EsiriE]

I’ll say this. A lot of people abuse scripture and don’t understand it in the correct context. I ask loadssss of questions at church. You have a negative view of ‘religion’ and I’m sorry about that but it’s not facts and I won’t be rejecting my faith because if the ignorance of some.

[@papi_sativa]

@@EsiriE lmfao okay "go off sis" *two finger snaps* whatever you say 🤗

[@juliebella1221]

Have you read Lamantations? Read it aloud to all the girls/women you know. The truth will set you free. Wisdom is a She and all men are to get Her. How can men say they are the head in one script and yet She is Wisdom. How is it women are to be silent, yet She is Wisdom. How can life come from Father when all know and can plainly see it comes from Mother? In Lamantations and throughout both books, you do realize your God is admitting he SA little girls and it was his desire to do so because he was "angry." How any woman continues to be prey to the Father is beyond me. Read Lamantations out loud. Read it to little girls in Sunday School. A five year old can tell you it's wrong to follow such a thing and yet here you are pushing it. Why? Children and teenagers have more sense.@@EsiriE

[@kimya_speaks]

⚡💜💜💜⚡ You're valid..... in everything that you said. And you hit the nail on the head more than once. Thank you so much for being the voice. May The Most High Always Bless you. Ase One Love.....💫💫💫 ⚡💜💜💜⚡

[@EsiriE]

Amen! Thank you soo much 😩😭🙏🏾

[@kimya_speaks]

@@EsiriE ⚡💜💜💜⚡

[@joshuadala3508]

I rly don’t know why my dad always sees my message as disrespectful and rude when I text him without saying pls like today he’s texted me that if I don’t stop searching anything bad he will block my laptop and I texted back “what did I do that’s wrong”and he said I quote”what you said it’s rude”

[@graceknox7807]

Respect is always mine sided for sure

[@EsiriE]

“Mine sided” ?

[@esthera8951]

whew this video was a lot 🥲🥲

[@empresscrafts689]

my experience is unoriginal but im relieved

[@ehlsci]

Thank you for the video.

[@BrenThen4367]

ANOTHER COMPARISON ITS THAT GOOD PARENTS RAISE BAD CHILDREN (SOMETIMES) BAD PARENTS RAISE GOOD CHILDREN (SOMETIMES)

[@morebyaas]

This is so real

[@sdays59]

Sorry about your experience but black parents in my experience are always providing for or lending money to their kids. The kids NEVER have money to give them or pay them back.

[@hoodhippie7117]

Ofcourse the kids don’t have money because the parents didn’t teach them to always keep money hello!

[@isa_virtual]

Kids don't own money to their parents. They didn't ask to be born.

[@Rillseductive]

I L🖤VE my parents. Here's the things just because a person have a child doesn't mean their mentally physically spiritually financially and emotionally

[@EsiriE]

Emotionally what? Finish the sentence

[@Rillseductive]

Well ....My bad

[@cassandrayeboah8236]

My mum always call me names whenever there is an argument between me n my mum. She always says I don't respect her, I'm insulting. She sometimes says that I am a devil child, she regrets given birth to me so hurtful words God 😭😭

[@asarishepard8171]

I'm so sorry, this was a constant thing for you? My mother said thst once during an argument then died soon after without talking about it and its lived rent free in my head since 😂

[@carlalotus]

Thanks for this ❤x so interesting & a necessary conversation x

[@EsiriE]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@Luffy-tv6sy]

I know some parents did a bad job on you but there is no reason to go over it again and again. It did happen but now its time to go past these events and heal to make sure it doesnt happen again.

[@robyndismon394]

How dare you tell someone to get 'past' traumatic events in their lives. You cannot even begin to heal without reviewing your history. Do you go to church? Know anyone who does? Suffice to say a bible book, chapter and verse are scrutinized in order to make a contemporary comparison. So its perfectly acceptable to discuss the lives of people who lived thousands of years ago. Job, king David, Matthew, St. John the Evangelist, to name a few. THEIR lives, mistakes, trials and tribulations are important to revisit every damned Sunday, but our own lives are thought to be insignificant.

[@shellinaholloway4267]

Everything you said in this video I lived it all right to this day.

[@hoodhippie7117]

Hello…… the whole intro is my life for the whole 31 yearsssss I’m feeling very seen

[@stephaniejordan9066]

I have Crohn's disease 18yrs on prednisone 20mg enlarged heart defibrillator implanted one heart valve not working the left valve high blood pressure diabetic type 2 on insulin cataracts both eyes arthritis right hand bending to the right prayers thank you ALL.

[@Tony-bf3tf]

Thank you sooooo much for speaking on this and saying this because it's so true I don't even deal with my parents I don't know what's wrong with that generation of parents to think that just because there kids and they had them they can just say or do what ever to them thank you soooo much because I know that im not alone ❤😃

[@awelito]

queen

[@EsiriE]

Thank you 🤣❤️

[@chiobabe2180]

Idk why this video popped up. I Absolutely adore my mother. Best kind soul on earth that I was blessed with & even hate sharing her with other siblings. Besides my dad he can go in the nearest 🗑️ 💀✌🏽💕

[@maewilliams3976]

I'm a mom. I love this post. Yasss, I'm demanding n want things my way. No more! I listen now. Thanks! Love me n I love you. 👠 👠 👠

[@EsiriE]

I like things my way too!! Haha I get it. Just hear your children’s heart on certain things and put yourself in their shoes. May God help us all ❤️ thank you

[@annbyrom8716]

Most children are born into poverty and to me that's extremely selfish your already poor so what type of home to your child or children can you truly provide and now as mother's your taking life's issues out on your child because from what I've witnessed the man usually never stays adding to the broken homes of mother's living in poverty. My opinion .

[@EsiriE]

I don’t know where you got “most children are born into poverty” from.

[@annbyrom8716]

My opinion not yours. your obligated to your own so find it 💯

[@LM-he7eb]

"Help themselves to your money"???? WHAAAAAAAT??? WHEEEEEEERE???

[@EsiriE]

yup

[@LM-he7eb]

@@EsiriECan't be. That's just theft. Can you open their wallet & help yourself to their money?

[@EsiriE]

@@LM-he7eb it’s definitely theft, I can’t remember the exact wording I used in the video but I was probably trying to be respectful 😂🫶🏾

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

Yeah the disrespect i deal with is crzy.

[@joshuadala3508]

I’m 12 and my father is saying he has worked for me and now it’s my time to work for him I hate it when he does that shit 😢

[@EsiriE]

@@joshuadala3508 that’s manipulation. You don’t “pay your parents back”. When you have children you’re supposed to love them unconditionally which means you do things for them and not expect anything in return.

[@joshuadala3508]

@@EsiriEand also my parents are narcissistic I am suffering from anger issues and attention seeking because of my narcissist father who is also emotionally absent he’ll ask me to tell him the truth but when I tell him the truth he says I’m being disrespectful that the language I’m using isn’t nice when he asked me to tell the truth and now I found this video and I found 18:57 other people that are going through what I go through my father and mother curse me my sister is Favour end my father acts as if I will die if I miss a day of church and I told my sister about this and she supported me and insulted me for calling them narcissist I don’t know what to do but I will cut my parents out of my life when I grow older

[@joshuadala3508]

And later he will wonder why I don’t like talking to him and why I am happy when he isn’t around

[@zareenwilhelm5811]

Indians too

[@t.sizzle5308]

Good points

[@mwakachipungu3463]

The generalization in the title i think is misplaced. I know and have many friends who do not hate their parents. In all my 34 years of life i only know one aunt whose kids ( 2 daughters) have come to resent her because of her actions etc. Yes some parents are toxic but to say African kids hate thier parents is way off.

[@EsiriE]

The title is slightly hyperbolic. I’m not sure why you and a couple others couldn’t see that. In the video, I clearly mentioned issues that are popular within black families

[@robyndismon394]

NO. The title most certainly is NOT misplaced. The systematic abuse and neglect experienced by thousands of older children is incredible. And an absolute disgrace. And in the last 25 years or more, these same adult children are cutting themselves OFF from the non ending cruelty displayed by the former generation as normal. The title is SPOT ON. Make no mistake!

[@lesstalk4785]

Show this video to your parents. The Bible says Honor your mother and father. This is dishonorable. If you move out of their house you wouldn’t have to deal with them. Their house, their rules. The world is equally challenging to them, but they have managed to create a safe space for you. AND you don’t want to leave. Now it’s time to create your own space.

[@EsiriE]

Huh?

[@JusToniReacts]

I am a parent The comparison topic is tough . You want to encourage and give examples . I think it’s how you go about it . But teens compare everyday . Peer pressure is the cause for that . I was a teen once 😂 and I always compared myself because I wanted to be “cool” . So by default humans compare . Again, it’s how you go about it .

[@thisgirlisoverit]

?

[@keirons5098]

Glad I found your channel and this topic

[@EsiriE]

🫶🏾🫶🏾