Why Can’t Avoidants Say SORRY Or Take Responsibility For Their Part?

Manifesting You: www.createwith...
THE SELF LOVE MANUAL (e-book) - www.createwith...
Conscious Creators Master Academy : www.createwith...
Conscious Creators Writing Academy: www.createwith...
All Courses: www.createwith...
INSTAGRAM: / createwithcorri
How To “Let Go” When You’re Supposed To PERSIST! | Manifesting A Specific Person
• How To “Let Go” When Y...
Purchase my Self Concept And Inner Healing Course: www.createwith...
The Specific Person Revolution: www.createwith...
NEW ME (my self concept song!): • Your new Self Concept ...
DISCLAIMER: My videos and services are not a substitute for professional mental health advice. The content on my channel is based on my own opinions, experience and understandings. Please take what resonates.

[@joannewoodcroft1038]

They almost seem like cowards. I'm tired of trying to get him to own up. It isn't our relationship, but his relationship. I feel good about finally facing the reality. They are the priority, not you. I wish them luck

[@Lee73Lee]

So true. Hope to find a secure partner next. It'll be less of a struggle than encouraging an avoidant along to want better. They can do the work on their own time, and we can hopefully be happy in a more secure relationship with a new partner :)

[@The_whimsical_avoidantcope]

They are cowards, and when they get called out for their bs will project their insecurities to everyone else.

[@caddymac3]

If you make them face their accountability. They will find someone who won't.

[@BrightestStar-z1k]

​. Exactly Its not even worth it 🙄

[@Peaches-N-Mango]

We broke up on Nov 14 and you're scaring me with how relevant and precise your videos are; I needed to hear every word

[@mgn1621]

Totally agree. Avoidants have deep shame. Sadly, because being accountable would give them some self respect and emotional maturity.

[@BrightestStar-z1k]

They are literally their own problem and refuse to be the solution. It's exhausting

[@onemorespinforluck9782]

My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me 2 days ago. Only weeks ago we were talking about Christmas together and sorting out a savings plan and finances to buy a place together towards the end of 2025. Your words have hit me hard on a deep emotional level. I will always accept responsibility and ownership for my actions and apologise for wrong doing and work on it. I always had to apologise and then go on to explain myself, running what happened in my mind over and over and trying to understand what i done wrong, how could I be this awful person who keeps getting everything wrong and i must have issues. Even when she was entirely in the wrong like being lied to and her being caught out it was my fault. Thank you for your videos. Ive just found your channel and already its made a difference. I appreciate you.

[@createwithcorri]

Oh I’m so sorry you’ve had this very invalidating experience. It sounds like you really showed up for the relationship and it must be very painful to be met with blame. Be gentle with yourself there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re a good person and good will come to you xx

[@tarkov_6]

Avoidants might not be bad, but their actions usually are.

[@teenagecaveman881]

I’ve been very fair and respectful. Very vulnerable and open, even during intense arguments/talks. I get gaslighted, lied to and bratty excuses about everything. From a 56 yo woman. I’m exhausted

[@createwithcorri]

Time to choose yourself x

[@marguskiis7711]

Classic female behave.

[@mgn1621]

Avoidants are very emotionally immature.

[@bellicbowling1034]

Even worse when they made many mistakes and you take the action of breaking up because they’re not owning up / apologizing / taking responsibility, and instead of actually apologizing and doing all of the work they go to the next victim that’s willing to put up with their bullshit for the time being and making it sound that you’re the one in the wrong and you’re the one that’s asking for too much while there’s another person that’s accepting the avoidant for “who they are” I try not to make it about me but it’s honestly just too much.

[@bellicbowling1034]

Especially when it feels like I have given too much in the relationship and I was the one that used to accept breadcrumbs knowing that deep inside I deserve way more, because I thought that that’s all he had to offer until the day that I realized that I don’t have to put up with the immaturity and accept breadcrumbs, he has to step up, and instead of stepping up and doing the work he 1- blamed it all on me because “I bring the past back to life” ie: remind him of the mistakes that he did which he didn’t fix and making him face them. 2- he didn’t fight for me and found someone else that puts up with his bullshit and took the easy way out It is too devastating knowing that he’s living his life and I’m still picking up what remains myself after I broke up with him

[@ediejacobs1883]

I always felt responsible for my younger sister ever since she was born. Her shame wound is impacting the family dynamics. She is now in shut down /stonewall mode with every one in the family….with me being the one she points the finger at.

[@6969SpAcE6969]

Doesn’t feel good does it. I feel you. My partner has had my deep into cosmic levels of understanding but still she just can’t seem to understand no matter what. I forgive and I forgive, and in the end mine blamed literally everything on me with no self responsibility, whilst I could own up to everything because it’s just literally constructive, like it just shocks me how someone just can’t see no matter what you do or say.. Hatred is truly blind. In the end she betrayed me whilst literally leaving me left for death. No joke. Lesson learned.But next time I’ll spot that behaviour so fast.

[@The_whimsical_avoidantcope]

Exactly. Its astounding how they can deny any responsibility or accountability, even when someone takes it out and puts it in their face point blank. Nope, they can somehow find a way to stonewall or gaslight you.

[@6969SpAcE6969]

@ It’s literally the most insane thing to go through. Makes you in disbelief, and if you don’t believe it, you’re fucked.

[@gregkelly9775]

Don't think I ever even got one apology from my avoidant dumper for anything during the relationship ... like pulling teeth. Excruciating. I think the origin of this inability was that a caregiver never modelled this. In addition, a safe space was never created for them to see this being done. Admission of accountability and the vulnerability that this creates, would have been taken advantage of by their - her - early attachment figures.

[@richonelove6234]

This makes so much sense. I’m going through this right now. It’s been six months and it’s time for me to let go and let her heal

[@Caa310]

Thanks so much for this. It just comes down to.. I want more, I want raw honesty and I don’t want to walk on eggshells anymore. I feel like I’ve got a child not a wife. All the red flags were there and I thought I could love the pain away. But I think the key is, they must love themselves.

[@kyle_mutti]

Your videos have helped me understand a lot of what I already knew about my ex. Thank you so much

[@Tadjuel11-11]

You just made my high up on the pedestal ex girlfriend real small right now. 😅👍 Thank you! Glad I found your wisdom to get me through my dismisive fearful Avoidant. It's been so frustrating trying to figure her out and now I understand.

[@PatriciaPeeters-g4g]

Yes, it's usefull!! 🙏 Thank you

[@bandida99]

Oh my gosh this is so good

[@jesenikm]

Thank you dear. ❤

[@BC-yb1mq]

You are quite gifted at this ❤

[@michellem7290]

Wow this explains so much 💖

[@richardstlouis9944]

Excellent explanation and reminder!!!

[@Gwynbleidd-11]

How do you talk to someone who not only fails to see their role in the breakup, even though it was obvious, but also blames me for many things I didn’t actually do or never intended to do? She made a sudden decision to break up when things between us were better than ever. I did so much for her, I tried, I fought for us, and now she’s desperately looking for faults and mistakes on my part. It’s bothering me because I didn’t do anything wrong.

[@createwithcorri]

Sounds like she’s gone into self defence for some reason it feels horrible to be on the other side of that. Relationships are a two way street, you both played a part but the mature thing to do would be for both of you to be able to own your part. It sounds like she isn’t willing to have that conversation at the moment - remember you cannot reason with people who are committed to misunderstanding you. Give this space and time. Do not explain yourself any more x

[@Gwynbleidd-11]

@@createwithcorri Thanks for the quick response... I should add that this was about 2 months ago. I haven't contacted her in any way since then. However, she recently blocked me on all social media. I'm continuing the "no contact" and focusing on myself and trying to move forward. If she wants to, she'll contact me.

[@marguskiis7711]

Avoidant women do it. Mine too. They are like robots, act exactly one absurd way.

[@marguskiis7711]

​​@@createwithcorri my avoidant ex (47 yo woman) dumped me out of the blue without ANY problem. We had had LDR for 2 months, we did not see each other, we had nice messages all the time, she looked happy and then she called me to visit me. She greeted me friendly and when we had a dinner she smiled and said its the end of story. She had "discovered" meanwhile that I am not "physically" suitable for her bc she had some internal disease and she thought it was my fault! After 6 months of superb relationship. I reacted sad but calm. I went NC. Later she sent me nasty letters how horrible person I am and how good is her new man.

[@sheemery2024]

I don’t think his behavior is about me it’s just hurtful behavior … to do to anyone. It’s selfish and I don’t think highly of him. I’m glad I met him so I could never be with someone like him again ❤ happy I stopped manifesting him he’s not worth all the energy. I’m gonna manifest someone I don’t need to manifesting techniques on at all. I want real love

[@marguskiis7711]

Avoidants are superselfish people.

[@mgn1621]

Manifesting has nothing to do with it. Your nervous system will attract what is familiar. Heal your wounding and you will no longer attract that type of person.

[@sheemery2024]

@ I have, I am, and I agree. Idc anymore but thx for your advice

[@stsindri]

"...you're in a relationship with someone who struggles to take ownership and responsibility for their side of the problem." WTF... They are the whole fkn problem - it's not just their side they're not taking responsibility for it's the whole situation that created the problem they're not taking responsibility for. A problem that wouldn't exist if they would be sane, responsible and sensible people. Thinking back there are probably a few things that I could have handled better in my relationship but then again the things I was dealing with, the things that got thrown my way, weren't exactly normal everyday stuff. I didn't even have a chance to screw up or make mistakes on my own because those situations were thoroughly planned and created for me by a partner who seemed to spend her every waking minute plotting away, trying her best to create conflict and get a reaction from me that she would then use against me as she fell into her comfortable victim mode. For no apparent reason - but some of the things she said and did were plain EVIL. And one day it hit me... It doesn't matter what I do, it doesn't matter how I handle things, how well/bad i surf through the created situation, the outcome will be the same. If she fails to get me today she will try something else tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that....until she finally gets what she wants. For no apparent reason.

[@swanne.9]

I have avoidant attachment style and I think it's important to make aware that Anxiously attached people usually suffer for putting expectations and not accepting that the other person can't o won't give them that. And that that is not a bad thing. Expectations should be made clear at the start of the relationship and I (as someone getting therapy to improve as a partner) have experienced anxiously attached people telling me that I won't do the "bare minimum" during the dating period, just because my way of expressing affection is different. People tend to get upset just cause we are not what they want or need instead of just leaving. We are not villains. We just love different and want to be accepted.

[@sheemery2024]

@@swanne.9 it’s not healthy and if you believed it was you wouldn’t be working on yourself. No one wants a partner like that. Anxiously attached or securely attached. Even you wouldn’t want a partner like you. Stop lying to yourself. That’s exactly what an avoidant would say: it’s your expectations that’s the problem here. Lol 😂 why arent you clear about who you are upfront instead of letting someone figure it out. I’m assuming you don’t tell people on the first day of dating how you act and behave, that would contradict the avoidant thing.

[@Faith-sr8zw]

You just want a partner to give the bare minimum to who doesn’t complain and suffers in silence

[@MrBeckers89]

Sounds like an excuse for shitty behaviour

[@swanne.9]

@MrBeckers89 if you feel it's shitty you shouldn't stay with the person! That's also emotional responsibility

[@thatonegamergirl1182]

Or... Just don't get in relationships with avoidants because it will make you insane

[@tarkov_6]

It's not always clear that they are avoidant..especially early on

[@MadameSusini]

It falls on the person that Accepted the behavior from someone who wasn’t worth a moment of your energy, and told u the truth from the start: as the saying goes “Tell a woman the truth and she will lie to herself “… 😢

[@sheemery2024]

It doesn’t fall on them actually. That’s taking too much accountability. 50/50 here. And that’s not only women who do that, lie to themselves. Men get played all the time. You can bury that quote with along with the patriarchy it came from. 🫠🙄🤡 Deprogram yourself hun it’s not cute

[@UrGranny-zc1mz]

Excellent some turn the table entirely instead.

[@Teenie0103]

Ok this helps explain a lot. Do they tend to be narcissist as well? I mean actual narcissists, not just how the word gets thrown around a lot lol. I’ve done research on the specific personality of the person I was dealing with and NPD seemed to fit but very avoidant!

[@jill3330]

I'm no expert, but it seems there can be some overlap between an avoidant and narcissist. My ex was avoidant and also had narcissistic behaviors. I kept looking for explanations and clarity...but had to accept that either way, it was completely destructive to our relationship and to me. We deserve better!