WHY COVERT NARCISSISTS ARE DANGEROUS

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

📌Watch this FREE webinar now and learn how to negotiate with narcissists like a pro. Click here now:👉www.slayyournegotiation.com/rzwebinar

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

I will be there live to answer all your questions. I can't wait to meet you there!

[@denisebuchanan9824]

Amen

[@Bellasie1]

@@RebeccaZungEsq I've just discovered your channel and I'm watching one video after the other. I've had to deal with several types of narcissists or at least types that have some of these traits all my life in all circles, from family to work to romance to friends. I've developed ways to "sort of" manage them over the years but your videos are golden and I subscribed already. Too many of these mean creatures make others' lives hell. Thanks for the help.

[@theresefournier3269]

@@nolagal11 i don't know...

[@juliebourque1712]

@@nolagal11 he won’t leave, he will keep you there with their tactics and manipulation. best is to leave and move far away.. not easy but that what I eventually had to do to save myself. It worked!

[@kevinshannon1085]

I wish I had seen these years ago. Living with one can be devastating to your mental and physical health.

[@icantdance6813]

Crazy how many of them there are enabled by other narcissistic enablers

[@James-tt1cv]

I know bro I was living with one she put me out every 2 weeks until her rent or light bill was due then again very manipulative and always nothing wasn't good enough glad not be dealing with her a covert narcissist

[@sylviaking8866]

Exactly there is a high incidence of autoimmune disease in victims of narcissist abuse

[@sweorfan6844]

Two years after marrying a narcissist, I contracted an autoimmune disorder. The past thirty years have been and continue to be a nightmare. All those years, I kept thinking, if I just tried harder, our relationship would be good, again. Not. He has destroyed my health (stratospheric cortisol levels), while my distress seems to feed him and make him stronger. It has been three years, since someone told me about narcissists and, in that one blinding moment, the scales fell away from my eyes - I finally understood everything.

[@sylviaking8866]

@@sweorfan6844 I am going no contact as soon as my divorce comes through. Moving states and never looking back.

[@colette2612]

You can spend a whole lifetime thinking you have a certain relationship with this person only to find out when the mask finally falls, your relationship you thought you had was only YOUR perception. When you find out and then look back as to why you were always so confused, it all falls into place. They were never loyal, they never gave you support or help. And when they kicked you when you were down, you always made excuses that they didnt know they were hurting you...WHEN THEY REALLY DID KNOW THEY WERE HURTING YOU...THEY JUST DIDNT CARE! HEED the warning. When you realize what is going on, and you start to stick up for yourself...you will go down! You will lose! Your family will dote over that poor nice man and blame you! It is quite amazing. When a person tells you something but does another... Focus on the actions, not the words. I wished I understood that. It all makes sense now, but its too late. I am stuck in a neck hold, I feel so ill. I cant make a move, I cant fix it, I cant go away. These people wouldnt hesitate to poison you or kill you if they knew they could get away with it. Pay attention when they talk about guns or poison !!! :(

[@davidslagmulder2423]

You should find a way to make him and his family scared of you. Be shameless and have no conscience in your tactics. They are a bit like dogs, it's all a matter of dominance. Good luck and enjoy your dominance over the pack.

[@tamarathejudeochristianmedium]

Yes, Colleen, many poison those close to them or make it look like an “accident” and harm others.

[@James-tt1cv]

So true the one I was dealing with bought a riffle and working for MILWAUKEE POLICE & SHE'S A DISPATCHER CRAZY

[@James-tt1cv]

@@tamarathejudeochristianmedium Gladly I got outta there when I did I blocked all contact through her even blocked her son

[@gingerschilling7405]

Everything you wrote is exactly what I have learned about my (now) ex-husband! I wish I knew about these con-artists years ago!

[@melissaj.corbin7675]

Thank you Rebecca for this video lesson! This describes my narc husband 100 percent!!! After 13 years of being the doormat and the meal ticket, the scales fell off my eyes after joining Food Addicts and losing 50 lbs. I see him now for what he has been doing for 13 years. Preparing my exit strategy, very carefully, with advice from my attorney. Once I break the news that I’m moving out, Our lease is up 8/1, should I be prepared for a quick exit? I’m preparing mentally and physically by prayer, detaching, moving things to my storage unit and making new housing plans.

[@teaneekambruce4226]

Did you make it out safe? Update please…

[@scottpayne1949]

@@teaneekambruce4226 kk

[@carolannid2390]

Thank you! Great skills taught!

[@sharonhall3997]

I needed to hear this. Thank You

[@shelleyd9910]

Totally! He has the audacity to think he is my bloody carer. What a joke!

[@brandyranshaw4011]

Could not agree more, my partner of 11 years I killed myself trying to fill this person up, I truly went insane the gaslighting she was having an affair I knew could prove and the denial, I built her homes I was.suppose to be grateful for this never paid me I felt worthless I was totally depleted and contempled suicide I was as we hit the pandemic she decided I had to go I was alone developing a huge drinking problem which then became her narrative she was now the victim for having to try and fix me ... the nerve after much therapy I realize that in love with a crazy narcissistic person , left emotionally and financially bankrupt. Just now getting my life together, sober , my sanity has returned I can see the light and breathe again, I was devastated. And the sad part is I still of the most dysfunctional and mentally abusive relationship. The quickly moved on and is now engaged to the woman she denied for years she was having the affair with. The fact I was made to belive I was crazy of this, and now I was and there out into the open doesn't make me feel better, but I k kw now I wasn't crazy...

[@lizaharvilla7874]

I went through the phase. I remember with social media I had to keep him blocked because if any guy liked a picture even if it was of my dog.. I was getting accused and yelled at, but the thing that boggled my mind is that he would give ladies a ride home or like photos or ladies would like his photos and it was perfectly fine.

[@lorirarich1875]

Figure out WHAT WAY? ????????we share a building lobby filled with fussy ppl and isolated. I can't slulk or win the day every day. Either one makes me look bad. Help do you have non marital material. I mean it Help!!

[@jeladinebarare1471]

I have this kind of neighbour, so so dead true

[@robertgates2769]

They remind me of that cute cartoon character who is smiling looking at you while they are holding a big wooden hammer behind their back just waiting to whomp you with it.

[@michellemykelhouse1590]

Truth

[@kimklmal]

Great analogy 👏

[@barbaramarshall5271]

Omg I actually get that, it was funny as a kid, I dont think it's funny anymore though.

[@freeindeed5393]

Spot on! Lol! I have been praying for my ex covert narc’s new husband, that he would wake up and get out while he can! I am sure he is a good person...no one deserves the wicked abuse these demons dish out

[@robertgates2769]

@@freeindeed5393 you are rught about dishing out punishment! I was a punching bag last year. It was so confusing in the times I've run into her at my gym this spring at while nasty at first when she realized I wasn't going to engage her she turned super nice, in fact the nicest every to me that long. She vanished a several weeks ago and since then I left the gym so hopefully I'm a memory in the past. Best of luck to the person you know getting through their experiences.

[@bridiefinnerty1612]

There's a huge need for Support groups for survivors of narcissistic abuse.

[@SorceressWitch]

They will also used your past against you. Anything you did or said in the past will be brought up to guilt you.

[@acemany1126]

Everyone does that!! What are you talking about?? Gezzz!!

[@pointsbeingmade7996]

Yes

[@nt4590]

I met my ex narc at my last job and we were friends first. I told him alot about what I had been through and reason why my last relationship ended..etc. He ended up doing the same shit to me. He took my past and threw it in my face. He wouldn't defend me(which my dad didnt do much when i was younger), he would abandon me when I needed him most(my mom left us when i was young) he put me down( knew I had low esteem from gaining weight)and he started going online to meet woman to hookup with and not sleeping with me(which is why my relationship before him ended. The guy had a web cam addiction and we barely slept together and I felt like crap like I wasnt attractive or wanted) and then the narc started doing it also and telling me he wasnt they just pooped up when he goes on pornhub. Everything I told him about that I was scared of going through again. He put me through.

[@TheOwlHead]

Yep, forever

[@TheOwlHead]

@@acemany1126 they do? No they don’t. I don’t. I know know one person who does that

[@musicseamus1231]

The covert narcissist are the most disguised predators ever imaginable. I thought I knew all kinds of personalities until I met one of these people. I'm never easily fooled my anyone but this person knocked me for 6 when I discovered they were not the kind of person I thought they were. A lovely friendly, kind, respectful person as I thought for several years turned out to be a total fake. Not only fake but borderline evil and so manipulative and a thief aswell. I haven't got over the shock almost 3 years later.

[@wordgirl920]

I get that. It’s shocking.

[@DJaneSyria]

Me either! I’m “co parenting” with him or I’d be no contact in a heartbeat!

[@michellemcintosh68]

It took me 3days of moving in with a cov.narv only because of me being an empath,I caused an narc.injury and that was all I wrote. That Devil came out full force at me.I had to flee for my life leaving my things behind after 3 freekin days. He was jealous bof some of my items like my big 70 inch TV I had moved into his place,he was like a little child who was jealous of my toy,he tried to throw me out for no reason and he could not hide behind this fakeness and when he showed me the real him,he started raging, I knew I had to flee no matter what,I thought he was going too harm me.

[@allycat123able]

musicseamus1231 you just described my ex wife

[@imdifferent7294]

I'm really shocked as well. But I'm a Christian so I believe God will take care of this entire situation.

[@asmahanmarzouq7026]

Absolutely 100% so true. Living and dealing with this type of personality is so damaging. By the time you realize what's happened, you're shattered in a million pieces. AND NOT 1 PERSON SEES OR BELIEVES YOU! AMEN, sister!

[@Cowface]

And when you leave they’ll call up your family and cry to them about how sad they are and miss you and love you and want you back so bad. This is after spending years treating you like an incompetent child

[@Ed-tn9hk]

Sooo true about being in a million pieces by the time you realize them for what they truly are. I described it just this morning with what I felt was an epiphany as having to dig myself out from all of the rubble that their earthquake behavior caused me to be at the rock bottom of my destroyed life that was no house of cards before the abusive trauma struck.

[@janwillis99]

And that lack of understanding and belief from others adds significantly to the abuse you already experienced. It is a lonely hell until you find someone who understands.

[@leslietinyhousebuilderwann3851]

So true! My husband comes off as this nice demure guy and he is so not that. He is emotionally abusive and neglectful! He will spend hours on end at church with friends and leaves me at home in a run down home at that. We have 3 different cabinets, floor linoleum as a backsplash. 1 light that is not good by any stretch of the imagination. We have industrial type wall covering for our shower walls. The list is endless. He told me to go get a lawyer for a divorce and was mad when I had to put a retainer down. I can’t win! I can’t wait to leave.

[@wanderingfree149]

They are the definition of wolves in sheep's clothing

[@michellemykelhouse1590]

Well you got to be that blade that wolf loves to lick and watch them bleed a lake👑

[@AS-qj2lx]

Devil in disguise

[@triplekids3]

So true

[@DeniseWill2]

You should read that book. It is a good one. www.drgeorgesimon.com/books/in-sheeps-clothing/

[@kre8504]

Yes: I lived married & deceived by one for 22 yrs. Left him 2+ yrs ago & have been divorced for 1 yr.

[@bonzbeasty]

The words "not worthy" really hit home for me. The abuse is soooo subtle, and if you try to bring it to light to others, you end up sounding quite crazy. It is isolating and you end up having to go be on a sort of learning curve as the abuser throws new things at you. In court it is definitely a case of choosing your battles wisely, and letting the narcissistexpose themselves. It takes a sort of savvy that no one should have to learn to have. I managed to get away from the relationship, but I have to co-parent with this person. The amount of mental and emotional strength it takes is exhausting. Thank you for this video because it helps to get through these cycles of abuse! I fear for my daughter, but your videos help me to be strong and to help my 3yo daughter build her own strength agsinst this behavior. I really can't thank you enough for the tools you give us survivors🙏

[@jcummins1481]

Did she abuse you with finances also?

[@violetgypsie]

Don’t engage. Don’t get into an argument with them. Don’t react. Be polite and to the point if you have to speak to them. Ignore their attempts to push your buttons. You are a transaction to them, treat them the same, like you are speaking to a clerk in a store. Polite, but not invested in the relationship.

[@carpathianken]

This comment is genius, safe & practical

[@trishjung922]

Excellently worded 🏆 Great to diligently practice in all situations and with all persons/personalities in my personal opinion ✔️

[@anifamango6756]

😂😂😂 Good tip but it's just a lot of work 😩

[@karriphillips5090]

Totally

[@THeBEASTWITHINTHESOUL]

@@carpathianken im a covert narcissist and it possible to change just dont hurt People. I dont feel any good feeling or Superior when i accudentally hurt somebody. I dont minipulate People i could People like this are dangerous and intelligent and evil watch out my dad was one.

[@domoniquecodley9391]

I'm currently dealing with a whole family narcissistic. They all think I'm crazy because I want nothing to do with any of them. Please pray for me and my son 🙏🏽🙏🏽💜❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽 1luv everyone

[@donnaenders3553]

Praying for you & your son 💜

[@cynthiapatton990]

Bless you sweetie!

[@domoniquecodley9391]

I mean I could write a book or make a movie because it's some off the wall stuff and the people who are supposed to help treat me like am crazy. I'm just praying and keeping the faith. So every night before you guy's sleep just pray for us 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽💜❤️💜

[@palesarobyn6310]

Prayers ascending❤️

[@MelindaMallvoz]

I am also dealing with that also. I refuse to be part of the system and I don’t enjoy their freaking web of inmeshment

[@johnwentz3925]

Going through a divorce with a covert narcissist. Total nightmare!

[@lizardlauro]

I’m married to a covert narcissist! He prides himself on his good reputation but destroys myself and my children’s character when he’s angry. 😢

[@lynnkliewer7201]

Get out carefully! My mother put up with it for 20 years it got worse they are fake in front of others outside the family my father threatened his 4 children lives and my mom with a thirty odd six !

[@janemuller2066]

@Liz Lauri what are you doing about the abuse now that you became AWARE of the toxic behaviour. Trust me I NEVER knew for 30 years and I'm suffering Mentally today after I was convinced to divorce him to get rid of him COMPLETELY. Fortunately in my case my kids are adults so I don't have to deal with him directly.

[@raccuia1]

Liz Lauro, if you're way is clear or can be made clear with logistical changes you MUST get you and your children away from them pronto!

[@Angel-lg9ez]

Same situation but no children.He’s a beast with me and an angel in front of others

[@SaintEuphemia817]

They can become Murders of their wives went on a vacation n the wife n kids went missing ....

[@willowclay3137]

It was like being trapped with a Satanist and being a scapegoat for their sacrifice!

[@fionareedz1510]

Right

[@karenovalasiti3261]

Literally the God's honest truth friend

[@aljazkolar]

They're tough to recognize especially when they are your parents

[@datahub123]

Hope you are feeling better now. God bless you.

[@russellm7530]

Yes I feel they are actually Demonic, Possessed as if it's a generational curse. But for general purposes I usually refer to my mother and relatives as being narcasistic or psychopathic. As most people don't seem to believe in demons. My family has made me think by they are real. God bless you and your family.

[@tam_to_evolve]

My favorite parts of this entire video - “look forward not back” “do not let them see you be upset by their behavior! Bcuz then they know that they have you.” - Direct your energies elsewhere then that vibrational energy of connection that you still have with that person will eventually teeter off and it WILL die! My thoughts to those who are trying to get out… “just follow the light!”

[@miriambaza477]

Because they're good at playing the victim, appearing innocent, keeping up appearances while they mess with your mind. They don't seem like a narcissist at first because of their fake friendliness and sweetness. They often present themselves as altruistic when they're not. And another I overlooked is that they're indeed good at hiding their manipulation.

[@amymason6234]

They are also very good at manipulating each person in a different way. They learn what buttons to push with each individual person, so that they always get what they want.

[@sylviaparker9010]

@@amymason6234 they are very good at ingratiating themselves with your friends, but are so insecure and they try to make you insecure, that's where your strong will comes in to keep saying to yourself " they have THE problem " it works for me ..

[@katielung6515]

spot on

[@kimberlyyenco5110]

They hide their true predator self disguised as a happy-go-lucky charismatic person. They act like a toddler when you call them out on their lies or disrespect. Narcs are PURE EVIL; especially the covert narcissist. Karma will find ‘em one day! They have no empathy, no conscience… just FAKE 🖤 emotions.

[@RosyB9]

Exactly. And the "shocking" thing about this "sweet" person is when you hear the toxic vitriol that can come out of their mouth when they rant constantly about people (behind their backs of course) whom they perceive have "hurt" them. They will repeat an endless litany of accusations against someone else and somehow they themselves are always saintly and long-suffering. They continue to be "nice" to their faces. Two-faced!

[@LegacyKnight-zm6vz]

Did you know that "narcissist" spelled backwards is "douchebag"? Hey, if they can make crap up then so can we.

[@whyohwhy9679]

Thanks for the laugh!

[@sdm4783]

Just funny?

[@billmcdonald2445]

I love it!

[@Surayya444]

You’re awesome my friend! You’re awesome

[@rosalinda208]

Haha i needed this

[@TheFriendlyPsychopath]

After experiencing and having two kids with a Malignant Narcissist, a BPD, and a Covert Narcissist all consecutively as an INFJ person, I stayed in Solitude for a whole 9 months and went into deep introspection while obsessed with bossing up in all other areas, I took all the love, money and attention that I gave to them and applied it to myself, which made me realize they never deserved me in the first place. Now I am super highly selective, not everyone deserves access to you, I vet dafuk out of someone I'm interested in and am not afraid to walk away from ANYONE I'm interested in, and best of all I can spot the hideous, repugnant demons I spoke of in my first sentence and know how to repel them.

[@RosyB9]

INFJ too. I think they can spot us from a mile away!

[@danad.hinesphdrn1585]

Perfectly describes my ex CN! Always the victim, always misunderstood, never accountable, extremely sensitive, intentionally vague, and always lying by omission.

[@amelia583]

Yes! They are masterful liars, they lie by omission or cherry picking facts and information. They also craft lies based on a kernel of truth. Their aim is plausible deniability in case they get caught. They only have two modes, feeling extremely sorry for themselves or feeling contemptuous towards others. They are also sneaky and secretive. Living with a covert narcissist is a devastating and traumatizing experience.

[@gmw19633]

@@amelia583 Great description of my soon to be ex

[@stephaniematthaus1516]

exactly! 15 years married to that. left 10 years ago, now he is back to destroy my relationship with my daughter.

[@georgiehughes4858]

Wow... Wow... EXACTLY!! DD H., You described in a few words most of my 49 yrs, 9 mos marriage with my covert narc husband! Like Rebecca Zung said, if I’d try to describe something, it would seem petty to others.. no one understood.

[@danad.hinesphdrn1585]

@@amelia583 oh my gawd yes!!! ALL-OF-THIS!! Deny, deflect, disregard, then discard. It’s a horribly traumatic cycle. I’m 8 months post break up and still suffering from PTSD.

[@pxjxgx]

Omg yes!! The little tiny "coincidences" that make you feel like you are losing your mind! So many "misunderstandings"!!! If you feel like there are constant, little, tiny misunderstandings and confusions you're not crazy !! Those little things are very much on purpose!

[@resilience_onward]

What you said is so on point!

[@AZDC99]

They're absolutely deliberate with 20/20 hindsight

[@SuMMeRFLi5]

Yes!! They are gaslighting you and it is intentional to make you feel insignificant, break your self-esteem, and make you go crazy. These people are straight up evil. And once you get out of the relationship, you'll soon realize that stuff doesn't happen in your life with ANYONE but the narcissist.

[@kandicemorgan3733]

And then get called crazy.

[@lindasharpe7039]

Yes, I found this out.

[@heatherantoine2684]

This was the best description of a covert I’ve ever heard. People get bits And pieces of it right. But unless she dealt with one of these (God knows what they are) You can’t fully grasp how suttle and sneaky their evil is…

[@goodgracious6364]

The covert narc I knew would pay for other people's items in the grocery store and get thanked by tearful customers who praised him for being such a "good" man. Minutes later, he would get in the car with me, start a stupid argument, and shout at the top of his lungs, all the way home!

[@hilindabohler7471]

I am now so scared of being a concert naecissist i dont want to be this... I am not materialistic, i can take critics, i want to work on myself. i have had an teeeible childhood and married to a malignant narcissitst, i have ptsd and trails of bpd... I dont like being a victim but swe myself as a wattior rather... Ia m an exteovert... But i always want sympat, 6ji

[@prometheuspredator7971]

Yes, Narcissists do that. Constantly on the prowl for fuel and supply. Even a smile from someone that is a complete stranger can fuel supply to a narcissist.

[@janemuller2066]

@Good Gracious My one supported his family Financially and made it clear I will not stop him. He promoted the tea lady/office cleaner to a Receptionist position. Encourages an employee in his office who is in an Abusive marriage and comes to work with blue eyes. He spoils his team with special treats. He is just the man, but I'm so" glad his kids are old enough to see him for Who he truly is. True character is what you do when no one is around. Be sure your sins WILL find you out 👍

[@szdkninja2658]

@@janemuller2066 Yes. They get away with putting on a good samaritan persona and no one suspects the fakeness.

[@andynnai1]

My Narc is similar. Someone said to me, “he has a good heart”. He cleaned her gutters. Then caos in my home.

[@Louiexiii_]

The best tip I ever got was to ignore them forever.

[@uriellevelupriley684]

That's exactly where I'm at right now. I blocked her on phone messages and calls social media. 2 days later she was roller skating with another man I walked right past.

[@uriellevelupriley684]

@@patrickcenkush519 stay strong. I'm trying to just let it go and did a ceremony last night to help the energy move forward.

[@uriellevelupriley684]

@@patrickcenkush519 yes , Write down a love note freeing yourself from that soul tie. Then read it and then burn it. If it is short read it 3x then burn it. Choose your words in the positive light. Bless it and burn it. 💯✨✨✨

[@patrickcenkush519]

@@uriellevelupriley684 Thank you!!

[@helenadamson5542]

I’ve blocked them today, I should have done it ages ago, thanks Rebecca, I appreciate your help, thank you xxx

[@anniemunn9737]

Totally! Any time I've asked my husband to either pick something up for me, drop something off he always forgets? After 25+ years I now know who he is. Ironically, after I had a head injury I saw him as he is. Thank you for all the enlightenment. It's all helping me drive my life in the correct direction!💖

[@jackpetersen7545]

Annie Munn,You look cute 🌷🌹,Hope you are not with a narcissist!

[@tommywitte9916]

When they can't win an argument, silent treatment.You've exposed there evil and the want to punish you for there sins.No need for silence unless your a liar.

[@christineadams1284]

Tommy Witte YES Silence, is what he does when I tell him he is lying or a selfish non-empathic jerk, he doesn't like me putting a mirror to his behavior. He has never had a woman stand up to him like me, I do not know how his wife put up with him for 20+ years

[@beautifulone6533]

When I aas planning my exit, their silent treatments were golden!

[@oneshadowdragon]

Agree

[@nt4590]

This is what mine did when I told him i didnt want him hitting my dog in the face as disciplining. He ignored me for days then asked if I was done argueing when I said I wasnt argueing I was just explaining to you he said I was chastising him and he was going to continue to stay away if he could not discipline his way.

[@rich-ard-style6996]

@@nt4590 a man that is abusive to an Animal is dangerous to humans too, get out of there. .

[@cst4747]

Covert narcissists really are the worst and the gaslighting is such a horrible tactic and it's crazy making. They enjoy doing this to people and in a personal relationship it's devastating.

[@kategould4857]

The gaslighting is appalling, to make someone feel like they can't trust their own judgment is cruel. I have finally learned to trust my own brain and if I genuinely have gotten something wrong then I figure out how that happened and grow from it. I am done with having narcs try to control me and to not want to me to think for myself.

[@symkoko1776]

after being with one for 9 years I feel like I constantly forget things

[@whynot2934]

When assisting our aging parents and my brother had completely different takeaways with various situations, and how often can you think, "Huh, that's not how I remember it." I began to document as much as I could. Not easy, but technology helped. Know the recording laws in your state. He still disputes my documentation and attempts to smear and attack me. However, he can't support his any of his accusations (because they are delusions) and I have enough documentation to expose his lies, delusions, and gaslighting through email, texts, and audio recordings. I would rather avoid him but I if he ever harms me or a member of my family, it will become public.

[@iys6890]

The proof they are toxic is I feel so relaxed without them around

[@rufusmelton3106]

these people will make you hurt them they will attack you for no reason

[@melianelson9036]

Hence all those around you act like you are so lucky, “He just adores you”. WHAT? Hahahah, not!

[@robertcarden3730]

That's funny

[@robertcarden3730]

Totally

[@ncbeachbumintx]

Yep.. 🤮

[@LilMsLorelei]

Yep, this insanity has been my existence. Almost over!

[@nicolasenikxy6306]

Oh yes, they don’t see behind closed doors

[@marihgator]

TOTALLY! Thank you for the info. It’s reassuring knowing I’m not losing my mind. Describes my situation to a T!

[@oriori1741]

I have an expresion they feed you with empty spoon.

[@laverdadesmejor]

My favorite is; When the *devil* can't reach you, he sends a narcissist.

[@asseyez-vous6492]

My expression is smiling assassin.

[@denisevander-heyden1135]

Very very true...

[@rtthomas3667]

"Feed you with an empty spoon." This is so accurate.

[@d.h.fremont3027]

Yes. I like to say, induce you to drink from an empty cup.

[@keithsmith5312]

TOTALLY!!!!!!!! I love you for opening my eyes!!!! I couldn’t figure out my girlfriend of six months until I listened to your videos. Now I completely understand her!!!! Even single thing that you mentioned is exactly what I’m currently experiencing. The more I learn about her and her lies the crazier things get. Whenever I’ve had enough and decide to leave she flips and becomes super nice for awhile to win me back. You’re completely correct I need to turn and run!!!!!

[@aeey6027]

Happy to hear that! Good luck with a good life

[@howiedunbar61]

Yes, your classic, malignant narcissist can at times be very covert and your covert narcissist can sometimes be very overt. They are such damaged souls.

[@kirstenshindler7767]

I don’t want their energy in my space!

[@ccerasuolo2260]

My husband knew that flowers were never my love language but started getting me flowers every month on the 27th because that was the date we got married. But the flowers were always the $3-$5 cheapo ones from the grocery store that half of them were dead. It wasn’t that it was a money issue, he is a corporate CEO. It was just a way of “giving” me something I didn’t want or value and making sure that the quality of the gift spoke volumes to me about my worth to him. And if I didn’t make a big deal out of his half dead small bouquet he would be “hurt”! Ugh!

[@Ashley-jx7sw]

Yep! I look back and the only thing my ex gave me in over a year was a cheap card and the $3 flowers. Just shows that I was not worth a thing to him.

[@LB-lt3pz]

OMG I literally told my narc boyfriend not to buy me flowers, it’s not my thing, at the beginning of our relationship. What did he buy me for Valentine’s Day every time??? FLOWERS!!!! They do not ever, ever give a shit about you at all!!!

[@wunderdoggy]

They are so SLY. So many times passing an evening with them and the next day the SUBTEXT of what they said comes back. Hey that wasn't nice. That was a backhanded compliment. What did that mean? That was weird. But they are my good friend? It's your intuition that senses the passive aggressiveness of their words and behaviour ,their true intention and how they cowardly hide their real sentiments. The pit of your stomach will tell you. Trust it and not them.

[@nicolahacking2623]

YES! that hot,sick feeling in your stomach.Feel it,and listen to it and DON'T give a second or third or fourth chance.

[@phylvalen9991]

I'm terrified of my 70 yo brother who is so humble and sweet in front of others esp in church I'm 64 and have nowhere else to go. He loves to terrify me on our two hr trips to town, he tailgates other motorists to within a meter at 140 km per hour, sometimes up to 4x per trip and am terrified to tell him I can't go shopping with him, too afraid to tell him. I cant close my eyes to go to sleep and lay in bed shaking my head to get rid of the flashbacks. We live on the farm where he works and know his boss will put him off the farm immediately and am so afraid to ask for help. All I do is cry

[@MegaTblaze]

omg.... so True

[@amymason6234]

Holy shit, you must know my ex friend! It took me years and years, because like you said your Braintree your gut tells you it isn’t right, then you think about what they said or did later and realize it really wasn’t right, but then you tell yourself that you are wrong because this person is your friend. Luckily I have a good memory that goes back decades. When I finally realized what was happening I went searching my memory or the “weird” incidents that just emend weird or unrelated to other instances, and when I put them all together I felt like I had been hit by a brick wall. They were related! If I had just tied them all together years sooner, I would not feel like I had wasted years being friends with that person.

[@powerinaturebygod]

10000%

[@MrHydevsDrJekyll]

The tell tail sign is extreme selfishness, self centered, egocentric, insecure. Basically just a taker

[@fannilein8715]

while they´re describing themselves as a giver

[@thecatebeling]

My guy is a giver but still a covert narcissist.

[@uknowmestalker4446]

@@thecatebeling they only give to get they are Disgusting demons 🤬👹✍🏼

[@chaosdweller]

@@uknowmestalker4446 no I don't know u , and know I've never actually stalked anyone before lol!

[@chaosdweller]

I wonder ? If a person can be the opposite for a while ? and then go the other direction ? After being fed up ?

[@arobinson103]

You described my 42 years with this c narc. I finally left due to my health. I did file for divorce . Left two years ago. You are spot on with how hurtful and phony and manipulative they are. I can cry thinking about the cruelty and abuse that took place. And no one knew😤😢

[@karriesaunders8597]

I don’t think even we really know until we are out and look back. The only hope for them is all their enablers leave and they uptake therapy with people who understand the spiritual.

[@Tarotcooks]

Gosh 42 years 😳

[@venacollier1430]

They'll say, "I was just trying to help"!

[@solidstate9451]

"Look I cooked your favourite meal." In the Lenten Season.

[@judylutterman7659]

“Look! I made you a gourmet breakfast. Bet you’ve never tried bananas in your scrambled eggs. You’re throwing it away? Well, there ya go; your highness has to have things perfect and just her way, huh? What a brat.” 🤦‍♀️

[@juliahwanjiku8579]

Very true they pretend they're helping you by covering their evil plans.

[@hml7391]

The sounds that are popping up suit the subject perfectly!! This is how dangerous they are!!! Monsters and you don’t even know it!!

[@thehotcoffeehouse6081]

U forgot to list the mostest danger-est of all covert narcs: the parental one.

[@solidstate9451]

People gratulated me for having such a wonderfull mother. Little they knew... Years of therapy couldn't fix it all.

[@hogjowell9867]

You've described my wife to tee. 27 years of emotional, spiritual and physical abuse. I've quit trying to figure out why I stayed so long. Ive been gone about a year. Life gets better everyday. I'm becoming myself again. I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict bipolar II. Life is a challenge anyway. Much better without a 5 years old child with excellent manipulation skills, a beautiful facade and character construct. I'd told my friends she's got 3 personalities but now understand she may have an infinite number. I wasn't crazy about the :violent bitch" but pardon me she's a girl and she hits like one. It's the carving life to the throat that got my attention. Her eyes so full of total animal rage I'd seen many times. I obviously survived and it took another year before she discarded me for the last time. A man who was really just a customer literally threw my stuff in his car and took me home. It was dead of winter. I was in a black hole of suicidal depression. I lay in bed for 4 weeks, getting up to pee and dump. I tried to eat what he brought me. Smoothies, little cereal and milk. After 4 weeks my funk was unbearable to me with lights out, shades drawn and head under blankets. I got up showered and that began a slow but steady rise into, I don't know what normal feels like so my imagined normal. After another month I was 0n a 1-10 scale 1 being suicidal I was 5ish. It was the worst depressive episode I can remember and I've had hundreds I'm now up to a strong 7 on a.good day and a 5 on a bad one. I keep a journal and try to record a value each week or more if life is in turmoil. Gives me a written record of my emotional state I sometimes look back on many 3 days and always resulting from my wife doing what she did. Let's say I've never seen a term I couldn't pin on her. Maybe I've convinced her to stay away. I'm going no contact for last 3 months. It's been bloody wonderful. I don't care if she boffing some guy in the back of the Camry I bought het. I actually feel empathy for the next fool. Maybe he won't be as pussy whipped as I was.. Thanks for reading. Had to get it off my chest. Much love the eggman

[@frankweatherford6848]

Wow! Brother its jan 4 2021 in 10 days it will have been 2years since i started the long road back. Your story is so eeryly paralel to mine its uncanty. It took well over a year to just be able to lift my head without wanting to commit suicide. I wont get into specifics but ipromise you would be floored at the similarities my friend. I wish you and all that do endure this type of thing the very best. As far as understanding much less helping a true narcisist i hate to ever say it cant be done but its surely a tuff tuff thing to undertake. It just laid waste to my mental emotional and physical health.

[@glowgirl2790]

@@frankweatherford6848 Wow,thanks for sharing your experience. I've been there to, driven to the despair. So glad you made it.In the horror of your story ,you escaped. That gives me hope that I can make it out of The death trap I'm in. God bless you your story gives me hope. I'm preparing to leave this hell on earth.

[@Coyote-wm5op]

The worst is a parent like this. He’s an HR manager. HR ppl have access to medical information, background checks, and employment history. He tried to have me arrested after a physical confrontation that he started. A narcissistic parent that can no longer control their kid and their kid tells them off they will go in a full on rage and that’s what happened. I don’t talk or share things with many ppl he associates with because they probably believe a false narrative. He went to so many ppl to try and get them on his side it’s unbelievable. I went to a funeral visitation recently and he was there. He even tried to tell lies to the family of the deceased. One of them tried to hint at me that I need to bury the hatchet. Disgusting ppl. They get worse as they age too. I think sometimes it’s because they can’t control themselves as well and they’ve burned so many bridges.

[@rebeccassofa]

I wish I'd known about this 12 years ago...it would have saved me 12 years of hell!! But, I woke up and I'm free. Just leave, take the chance, it's beautiful on the other side. Trust in yourself, you're stronger than you realise.

[@lirijebruncaj1822]

Yes, it took me 11.5 years. I feel so broken down but I know I will get through this. Thanks for your inspiration.

[@rebeccassofa]

You're so welcome ☺ I wish you happiness and healing 💖

[@Respect2theFallen]

Wish both of you the best. I'm still working on getting out and hoping she doesn't show up to my door once I leave the situation. She shouldn't cuz she has other responsibilities but ya never know

[@rebeccassofa]

@@Respect2theFallen you did the right thing. Look after yourself first. Sending supportive hugs! You got this.

[@victoriousjoy9338]

@@Respect2theFallen Hide and use a PO box for an address.

[@StayStrongMamas]

“Masters of Manipulation” describes my experience 100% and I could relate when you talk about the hairs on your neck standing up and feeling paralyzed. I have a child with a narc who was/is a master manipulator... and it is exhausting. While we lived together i wanted to put up Christmas decorations but he wouldn’t allow them... I moved out the first week of December (years ago) and he immediately had his floor to ceiling glass window, corner penthouse condo decorated with the largest Christmas tree possible and Christmas lights on all the balconies. Mind you we had met as neighbors living in the same building, I had moved in with him and rented my condo out... when he broke up with me, I had been on an unpaid maternity leave, had no money and a newborn so my renter moved out and I moved back into the condo I owned that was in the same building as his... not ideal but my only option at the time. Every time I would come and go from the building I could see the very impressive Christmas tree and decorations. This was prior to knowing what I know now and was baited by my ex when he told me his new female companion had done the decorating for him and how life in his condo was so much better without me there... pushed all my buttons... I fell for the bait and in a subsequent email I told him he could “shove his Christmas tree up his A!$” that quote has been used against me for 6 years in court over custody of our son. They said it showed I was angry, hostile and bitter over our break up. Knowing what I know now and being aware, educated and empowered I would never have given him that response. I now have to laugh at it because what else can I do... but it’s an example of stealth manipulation that to the outside world looks totally normal... “so what he decorated his condo for Christmas” but it’s really about the manipulation for years of not being allowed to decorate and him knowing it was important to me and then waiting to do it AFTER I had moved out, knowing I would see it every day as a reminder. On our sons first birthday he placed a ridiculous number of large birthday balloons and decorations in the same floor to ceiling glass window wall corner penthouse and even put the curtains down at night leaving the balloons between the windows and the curtains for the world to see.... he left them up for weeks... again they were placed there strategically for me to see everyday and not something he would do by his own nature pull it just to stick it to me... (mind you there was never even a nursery in his condo or any baby toys or items because the didn’t go with the ultra modern bachelor pad corner penthouse decor) by that time was starting to grow and learn and did not give him a response or reaction and I have since moved out of the building and now when he does these manipulative things I just laugh at knowing how insecure he really is. Until you have experience the full weight of a passive aggressive narcissist a person who has never experienced cannot understand what could be so bad about a Christmas tree or birthday decorations left up for weeks. It’s the intention not the action... and now I see that his actions are a sign of his insecurities and weaknesses. I’m human and it still gets under my skin sometime but instead of letting him know I call my girlfriends and we laugh! Thank you for your videos and sharing your knowledge. I have been working on bettering myself and better understanding narcissistic behaviors because I will forever be linked to one. It’s great to know I’m not alone, I’m not crazy and to hear you put into words the things I can’t.

[@karin8484]

Dear Rashell You are not crazy. Their abuse is real even though a lot of people cannot understand it and think you overreact. The christmas tree and the balloon shows that he is not worthy of your respect

[@craig3714]

Exactly

[@thehotcoffeehouse6081]

Rachell mia farrow went thru hell in her divorce fromWoody the Pedo, she sent him a paper heart valentine with a real knife thru it..and much much more...but her judge understood the situation and didnt hold it against her... she named one of her kids after that judge, i think. Ps that is kind of rare for a judge.

[@wordgirl920]

My ex would bait the hell out of me, pushing buttons (that’s 25 years of knowledge) and he recorded my screaming and yelling and he worked the sound system at our church and dubbed out what he said making me out to be a freaking lunatic. After he married a narc worse than him 45 days after our divorce was final, I thought I was losing my damn mind. Then i figured out he really didn’t want our young son or custody. It was the torturing me and threatening to take my son from me that got him off. Finally I called his bluff, after years of trying to figure out what the hell was happening to me. I said ok, take him. You win. You feel sorry that he has me for a mother? OK. You handle it. All of it. I’ll enjoy the fun times on the weekends as you have, if you saw him at all. My son is autistic and they refuse to acknowledge it to this day. He totally backed out of that threat but trying to get child support out of him when he makes $125,000 plus salary, has been my downfall. He threatens me over and over. In court. Whispering that I “better not pull anything or I’ll be sorry” and I’m looking at the judges face. He became violent after our son was born. I believe it messed with his plan or time with the little Twinky from church. Yeah. It would look bad if he left us right away. So he tortured me. I finally told him to just leave. That was in 2011. They are still saying I’m crazy. The smear those two did to me when I made him leave was so bad, I rarely left my house. There’s hope for you on the custody thing. They really don’t want the kids. They really don’t want to pay for the kids either. You received knowledge and I wish I had sooner to understand their sick game. The forever link will end for me. It’s starting. He doesn’t love my son. Sadly, I’ve lied for that sack of monkey crap but my son is older. He may have a disability but is very bright. He sees things now. I hurt for him. He wants his dad to just like him let alone love him. They do so much damage and offer no apologies or gratitude.

[@wordgirl920]

Maybe I am crazy. I don’t know how to get money from him. It’s been $925 since he was four. Before his diagnosis and before he started school. I struggle and will never recover financially. I’m 54, had to pull my 401k to feed and keep a roof over our heads. We just went round and round a couple of days ago about money. Why can’t I hold him accountable for his responsibilities?

[@dontbelongherefromanother]

If I had to choose between a covert or overt, I would choose the overt, at least, I will know what to expect. Also, I believe covert narcissists are flying monkeys for overt narcissists.

[@joseenoel8093]

Yup, mom's covert, the ring leader of both overt older siblings, sucks to be them! Still I smile 😃, I think it's because I got away!

[@Sekouguru]

Wow thats a great insight. ive never thought about it like that. (Flying monkeys of overt)

[@scooterpatooter9484]

That's true, but sometimes you see that narcissistic people also have narcissistic friends. In my situation, my covert narc has a grandiose narc for a best friend. (Who was also our neighbor.... nightmare!!) I offended the grandiose narc when I laughed at him. (He had just told me that "there were two types of people in the world; those who want to be entertained by me and those who want to be me." It was so repellent, that I told him that not everyone is entertained by him and I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to be him. Satisfying, sure, but I paid for it. He hates me.) Anyway....my covert narc and his best friend teamed up against me, and when I realized what was going on, I took my opportunity and got the hell out of there. That was 3 weeks ago. I still have to get a lot of my things and my pets out of there because I'm being sheltered someplace safe, but I have a lot to get done, and it's difficult because of issues caused by the Coronavirus. But I WILL win this, I'm getting stronger every day, I'm armed with as much knowledge as I can possibly get, and life is going to be good again, if it takes every breath I've got left in me to make it my reality!!!! Stay strong, everyone!!! Recovery is not only possible, it's GUARANTEED-- if you make yourself the priority!! ❤️

[@dontbelongherefromanother]

@@Sekouguru I think in most cases coverts are flying monkeys for overts. Overts are very outspoken and want to lord over others, and coverts are not and go along with things easier

[@dontbelongherefromanother]

@@scooterpatooter9484 narcs are notorious for recruiting members to form an espionage team to gang up on their victims.

[@icalvin4263]

It took me 22 years to realize my wife is a narc. You just made me realize what type she is

[@thomasrivera7787]

It took me about the same bud, 22-23 years. When I found out, I was crushed to realize the depth & darkness of that illness. Same cycles just different excuses to be down around me yet functioning as normal on the job or social engagements. I'm know on the path to healing as I thanks be to God, truly don't care anymore allowing me to actually experience clear thoughts & direction, real life feels so good, fuckem, mines can stay in the dark pit I found her in. Find yourself again & begin to taste the sweetness of just being alive my friend.

[@amelialee2755]

Your empathy and wisdom are amazing, Rebecca. Thank you!

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Glad I could help. You got this! ❤

[@pineapplejuice7150]

I’m legit sitting next to him watching these with my headphones in and he’s just playing a game on his phone. Laughing and giddy. I’m still learning about all of this but everything accurately explains him to the tee.

[@patrickcurtis11]

I ended up marrying one, and living in Colombia with her and her family and it turned out to be a nightmare. All these things your talking about was greatly amplified because she felt she was in complete control. I won’t put up with that kind of behavior on any level ever again.

[@mellie1022]

Same. I'm learning so much about him. Knowledge is power. His antics are predictable now

[@evamz9584]

Have you considered bpd? When I first realized something was up with mine I thought narcissistic but I compared the list of traits and realized it's most definitely bpd his mother however is a covert narc.

[@HappySunshineDay]

@@patrickcurtis11 Yikes! It sounds like you got out of that relationship (and country?) I truly wish you all the best.

[@beddybaddass]

Literally doing the same with my AirPods on 😂😂😂

[@micktaylor1991]

Outwardly charming inwardly venomous. Deadley.

[@lesliel.6260]

My ex is a covert narcissist, he physically, mentally, and emotionally abused me for a year, then when I left he filed a false police report saying I basically did everything he did, convinced his friend to lie for him, and then turned around saying he loved me.....really sick people these narcissists are!

[@heatherodonnell7901]

girl same

[@lesliel.6260]

@@heatherodonnell7901 I have been hearing that fake police reports are common for these cowards

[@heatherodonnell7901]

@@lesliel.6260 apparently, I am going to court this upcoming monday. He got a restraining order by lying about me and now he is making police reports that I am breaking the order. He got the restraining order after I left him and now I think he is mad that I am not coming back so he is taking me to court. CRAZINESS. He just wants ATTENTION. So desperate

[@lesliel.6260]

@@heatherodonnell7901 Well it's crazy behavior from people who are actually crazy but pretend to be sane. If you have evidence against this guy now would be the time, I'd break out text messages, emails ect, and start demanding proof, the reason they do this come to find out is most of them have abandonment issues and leaving them causes a bad narcissistic injury, which is weird considering their behavior is what's usually behind that. But you know how they are - nothing is ever their fault! Of course most survivors don't know that or we all would have left differently.

[@heatherodonnell7901]

@@lesliel.6260 My lawyer is on it. I grew up with a grandiose narc father. But I didnt recognize it with my husband because he is a covert. I didnt realize theyre different types or else I wouldve got out sooner. No contact has been a lifesaver. We are so better off without them. I hope you have the resources to defend yourself from your ex. This is no fun place to be. Thats for sure.

[@elizabethandrews4199]

That’s my ex husband... he’s a doctor and seems so sweet and nice. All the “nice” things he did would be in the guise as for me but they were all things that he wanted and were things that were important to him not me!

[@number1designangel]

My ex husband is a doctor too. Lost his medical license for abusing me and blames me!! It's impossible to lose your medical license. He's like my mom, trying to re-write their narrative! 😂

[@raccuia1]

I love your second word "ex".

[@janicewills778]

Yep, mine does not really know what I want and Gives presents to make him look good to my kids and family, then when I don’t praise him I look bad. After knowing for the past 3 yrs that he is a covert narcissist, and telling him what I really want, why is he getting in debt for presents I don’t want when we have not paid for real counseling? I know why, he keeps thinking “ I will forgive him and move on” ......like that will happen! I can forgive him if I leave him, the abusive mind games don’t stop.

[@holographicpeople2204]

They all have multiple personalities. All of them!

[@nativetexan53]

Thanks for the info it is saving somebody's sanity and maybe their life. God bless you!

[@PPMOCRG]

It’s so hard to counter them when everyone thinks they’re the victim. I was also confused by the passive aggressive games. I get it now. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@mst2628]

Or everyone thinks they are a reasonable, rational, generous, caring, concerned, compassionate person!!!!

[@nervnicht9870]

@@mst2628 let them think that and leave all of them. The narc will treat them the way he treated you and they'll eventually understand

[@fainitesbarley2245]

Yep. I thought the previous friends who walked away feeling uncomfortable and anxious were weird - until I felt the same. I owe them an apology!

[@LeighKan]

Appear to be victims.. : While having an argument with me about how I should load the dish washer, we get interrupted by our 28 year old daughter who comes to visit. Her father doesn't even lift his head to greet her. Instead he remains seated (like a statue), with his head drooped and a sulky face (like a puppy that has been spanked). Our daughter immediately says : "Mom what did you do to daddy?" (Like daddy is a toddler in need of an adult there to stand up for him). Of course, her father doesn't respond but carries on with with passive aggressiveness. Feels like Mum is the bad character, and Daddy is the damsel in distress. (Notice the difference in referring to parents as Mom - Daddy). Seems like there have been a lot of flying monkeys in our home... Sad, but finding information on narcissistic traits have been so much help. Thank you for your advice.

[@darrylnelson2399]

READ, WAY MORE~IF, YOU DEEM FIT, LOTS, OF MY "TAKER,TYPE OLE PALS, ARE, PART, OF THE 16%, THATS, GOOD TO KNOW, THE 1970s WERE, ULTIMATELY, A NARCISSISTIC DECADE~FOR ME~SCARED, FOR A LADYPAL, A NARCISSIST, WITH SUICIDAL INCLINATIONS, I, CARE FOR VERY MUCH, BUT, I GOT TO THE BOTTOM OF HER DIAGNOSIS~I, SUPPOSE, I'VE EARNED A MINOR DEGREE, ON SUBJECT~BE WELL, INFORM, ONES SELF, DON'T BURN UP, 20 YRS, "OH, THATS, JUST HOW SHE IS"~?

[@eunicesmith3295]

Everything you said is true. Thank you.

[@nancyduncan1097]

Very accurate! I’ve been in divorce proceedings for almost 3 years - after a 50 year marriage. I wish I had known all of this a long time ago. Now, I need to figure out how to recover.

[@sheryl7837]

Nancy, I totally understand. It was 47 mostly miserable years of marriage for me. They never change for the better, ever! I am now married to the man of my dreams. I never thought I would experience what a loving marriage was like. Thoughtful, kind, unselfish, generous and so much more. Keep watching videos like this and you will heal. Hugs!

[@betterbrainhealing5970]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this after 50 years of marriage I think about the 25 years that I wasted with mine and I too wish I had known this stuff 30-40 years ago. And even just a few years ago before I left him would've been so helpful

[@thegreatnw1]

TOTALLY! I spent 30 years with one and could never figure out what was going on until now. This is him! I am in a quagmire of a divorce now. He has stalked me and the one close to me...get out! Do not wait 30 years and allow them to ruin your life.

[@kelligray1848]

I’m just lining things up to get out of being with one for 18 years. My biggest problem is I have a 16 yr old with him.

[@kelligray1848]

@@jerryp1776 God bless you. Next step is to find a good attorney and look for hidden money.

[@kelligray1848]

@@jerryp1776 Thank you for your good advice Jerry P. Unfortunately Alaska has a limited pool of attorneys but I am looking for one with such experience. Regarding the telephone, unfortunately He controls all the money since I had to medically retire. I will however be looking into other options. My youngest son who is more tech savvy than I will be up her for a visit starting this weekend and has offered his help. The trick is to do all of these changes without “Him” noticing. Considering he monitors everything several times a day and sets up scenarios where he will ask me questions when he already knows the answer to check if I’m telling him the truth, monitors our shared back account twice a day to see what money I’ve spent and where and has his sister “report” to him, it’s a bit slow going as I’m trying not to make too much “noise” on my exit. I already tried to leave him in the past and I was immediately and I do mean immediate cut off from access to vehicles and all monies. He wouldn’t even give me cab money to get to a friend’s house or for a ride to a hotel. He will try to convince my daughter that I’m being selfish and destroying “our family”, etc. Basically what I’m saying is that I have to take slow and careful steps. Hopefully the one attorney I found that understands narcs can help either by taking me on or by recommending another attorney with similar knowledge but so far I’m having trouble getting a call back. I’m currently down with a lupus flare so I’m sleeping a lot but once I’m up again I’ll be once again on the hunt. If anyone knows of an Alaskan attorney that specializes in dealing with narcissists please let me know. My husband will have wealth and no conscience on his side and I will be at a huge disadvantage.

[@kelligray1848]

@@jerryp1776 I will look into Forensic Accountants as well. Thank you for that recommendation!

[@kelligray1848]

@@jerryp1776 I will. Probably pick one up tonight or tomorrow.

[@donnalmich8398]

Is someone that has BPD, (borderline personality disorder), ARE THEY NARCISSISTS?

[@fordfamily7525]

I just found about these people I was in a marriage for 26 years the whole family are narcissistic

[@kaykillian4334]

Married to one and his whole family are narcissists except for two of them, and this two were hated. They’ve passed now.

[@Jackgritty28]

Sabotage them in some way so they fail,depression because of the failure in business,play the victim to get sympathy❌

[@HomeFrendsten]

Thank u

[@rubysparklerodriguez3647]

Wow fucked up who are they I need to know its important that is know if you don't mind answering you can inbox me if you don't want anyone to know thanks

[@Tarotcooks]

@@kaykillian4334 😢🙏

[@valeriebello8944]

And come across like the perfect gentleman and very polite! Bull💩

[@craig3714]

And perfect ladies also in my case .

[@pamelaperry9018]

I had a dinner date. , knowing him for years. He was a gentleman by pulling up to the door at the diner because it was raining. So sweet right! Will we get back to his house and we’re in his big truck, still raining and I go to get out and he grab my pants in the back to were I get haft way out and couldn’t go anywhere. Just dangling in the truck. Getting soaking wet. And he laughed so hard. Said I couldn’t take a joke. I go home. Is that being a bully or a narcissist?

[@imdifferent7294]

My ex to a T.

[@saffylew]

I wonder if this is the guy I just finished with. I could kick myself for falling for it

[@reneecrowle9383]

My boyfriend, whom I love, committed suicide. He sounds just like you described. It's almost that he set me up. He made it look like it was my fault on his phone. His family blamed me.

[@dianaabad3910]

My soon to be x. Is covert narcissist. So Is my son. I’m in a very bad situation. After 40 years I’ve lost millions as well as my mind and emotionally being abused. And my son will not talk to me. Very sad situation. Try to divorce him is never ending. The debt he put me in by using my personal information is horrible. Trying to go forward but hard to figure out how.

[@liesbethdevries4986]

Totally 😣 The covert one hides behind mummy and/or daddy issues, covertly playing victim, faking to be innocent. Horrible. Oh hell, the passive aggression is so dangerous for the target's health. Drip, drip, drip.

[@jennarobinson4922]

Johnny Depp

[@nicolettegii]

Totally!! 9 yrs with a covert narc and just recently realized what I had been experiencing. I thought I was crazy..

[@nicolettegii]

@@RebeccaZungEsq I appreciate you and all your information. Keep making these great video & keeping us all informed.. Thank you!

[@lynnkliewer7201]

They are great at that they are completely illogical! Your not crazy they are !

[@janemuller2066]

@Nicolette Haketi I assumed I was The ONLY married person going through this and the rollercoaster BEHAVIOUR became the norm for me. He ended up referring to the relationship as rollercoaster after he admitted to being in an affair. In All his affairs he became the sugar daddy.

[@ESumner]

Girl same here!! I’m in shock and paralysis still, where are you at?? 😔

[@deborahwaters9338]

I’ve been with mine for twelve years. I always knew something was wrong, but never even heard of a narcissist. I finally figured out that he would never change about three years ago. He is truly mentally ill. I call him Zombie, because he is the living dead!

[@robinalecia7554]

These people need to be thrown off a cliff really . I cant stand these people. I have a daughter like this but what she doesnt realize my mother was the queen of this and make her looks like childs play. Recently my father in law had Cancer his radiation treatment are very expensive. My daughter who is very well off doesnt even ask about him . So it was my husband and I turn to pay for his radiation, well i went on vacation and didnt get paid . So i asked her to contribute my husband and i had all of it except 100.00. So she said is 100.00 good . I said whatever you have. She sent the whole amount such a passive agressive person except my mom was better than her.. But im a survivor and know the next move before they make it. You are right though. Shes a formidable adversary but she knows im one too. She tries to read me but i always tell her i smell smoke lol. Shes Vice President of a Banking division here we live All im waiting for is God to release me from her . I pray for her all the time so of couse she thinks im a sucker and that even God has a price or can somehow be manipulated. These peoole are dangerous and i have a personal relationship with Christ otherwise i couldn't have made it . Thanks for sharing

[@jackiemacleod5819]

TOTALLY! I am planning my escape at the moment, it's hard as I have such low self esteem at the moment, but am starting to thins positive and move forward.

[@essentialseastar7853]

Learn yourself and the process will be easy. Google and KZbin “ The Clairs” and discover your inner self. Once you learn thoroughly who you are and what you are you will then be at the point of no return! Good luck my friend 😘

[@chaosdweller]

Good ....I was , until I gave up recently haha and decided to try fighting them in court instead, due to lacking others support on both matters , which isn't a secret anymore I wouldn't think.

[@loveahusky]

“Totally” master manipulators. I am in the process of leaving mine of 30 years and it has been a massive step. He didn’t even try to fight for our relationship but rather placed “100%” yes that’s right total blame on me and he is the victim. Ha, what a laugh right? If you ID with these people, RUN for your life sooner than later like me because they DO NOT change. It is a sick and life sucking cycle. Good luck and God Bless.

[@jonbeckel1649]

Excellent advice..! 😊 Thanks for the great Vibe of healing.!

[@emilykozel5087]

Dealing with them is like playing whack a mole

[@heidikerr6979]

Omg. Absolutely my ex. Appealed State Supreme court. Passive aggressive, hot my family to think I'm crazy. I keep winning. He looks nuts but, he keeps gonally motions. He absolutely thinks he's right. 5 judges, parent evaluator, realtor... I have ptsd. 17 years in a marriage and left with 3 boys. Do they stop? He's such a victim Brilliant idiot. Used to make 600,000. Hasnt worked in almost 2 years. Measly job. Somehow he's living in 4 bedroom house. He just filed another motion. YES. GOOD AT HIDING. YES!!!

[@robhayes8295]

You are spot on. I've been dealing with my now ex wife for nearly 4 years. She goes to church and teaches Sunday school, and teaches in a christian school - on the surface looks to be a perfect person (all a lie). I've been separated from my kids now for nearly a year, and everything is my fault - I'm such a bad person. It's very tough being in this position.

[@amymason6234]

You are describing my ex friend to a T! She seems to think that as long as she “needs” something any method to get it is ok, including manipulating and lying, using etc... and then turns around and preaches about what God would want, and that really she is a good Christian lady who does no wrong.

[@Respect2theFallen]

I dont believe you are the problem. Admitting it shows who the guilty party really is. Also covert narcs hide behind religion often they are cowards in pretty much all ways smh.

[@Ashley-jx7sw]

My ex used the Bible to be manipulative to me. It’s crazy to say this, but it almost felt like I was in a mild cult.

[@johndoe-wv3nu]

Rob, been there. That's parental alienation. She will wreak those children. You need a good lawyer and shrink. Lived it. Don't have a relationship with my kid because I'm a terrible person. However, 16 years post divorce I'm in a peaceful 15 year relationship. Got all my ducks in a row.

[@lydiapetra1211]

Hope things worked out for you.... I think Christian covert narcissists are the absolute worst.....I speak from experience....

[@aerogal31]

And he is SO NICE. Everyone thinks he is SO NICE. But he has not touched his wife in 20 years.

[@julianterris]

Great content Rebecca. One of the most insidious aspects of being in a relationship with a covert narcissist is that they will convince you (and your friends and family) that *you* are the problem -which of course is terribly damaging and toxic. Sometimes you have to break off all contact.

[@fainitesbarley2245]

Always break off contact.

[@Powerdriver777]

You can tell a covert because they never sacrifice for anyone else if they do its very little

[@ebonyb5827]

So glad I found your channel. I have been through and I have heard everything you’re saying from the ex narc. I suffered in silence for 8 years because no one would’ve believed me. He’s so nice outside to everyone but a tormentor to me. Real sick, evil 🦹‍♀️ people. Discarded and Blocked him and I feel so peaceful and happy now😀 I am a survivor and I’m thriving beautifully 👍

[@victorialevy431]

Totally true. That is my husband who I have been separated from for four months. I am so traumatized by him and his abuse I haven't filed for a divorce yet. He beat me up so much I can't deal with hardly anything. He abused me in every way imaginable. I am losing weight because I keep thinking he is poisoning all my food and he doesn't even know where I am. Thank you for your incredible videos.

[@estherdanquah4226]

Victoria Levy : it’s true l start thinking the same thing

[@victorialevy431]

Thank you ladies for your replies. I appreciate your concern and understanding.

[@lynnkliewer7201]

I fill your pain and am so sorry my mother went through it and she was 5 feet 6 and was under 100 pounds from the stress! Get out no contact and live the life you truly deserve!

[@susanschultz7586]

Victoria Levy I lost weight to below 100, was separated for 7 years (!) before I filed for divorce. I went totally no contact after two years. He “respected” it (“no contact” ) for the last 2 years before I filed. Don’t knock yourself for 4-months without filing; you MUST heal some before your divorce so you can have enough self-respect to think clearly through the divorce. It’s not easy, but it’s doable!

[@annbelmonti3737]

Victoria Levy They will do anything. I noticed a family member who doesn’t drive buy antifreeze And when questioned replied, “you never know when you might need it. “ After moving out of that house my “fibromyalgia” let up and then went away. They do leave you wondering when the next shoe will drop.

[@hollyhergott915]

Please it's been toxic and traumatized 34ýrs I'm feeling free since 4 weeks ago or so when I found out this is what a covert narc and autistic man baby I've been with help me

[@DT-nb6ke]

"they get supply by building themselves up and cutting you down" Yes yes and yes girl you nailed it

[@countingthecosttofollowChrist]

Devaluing by breadcrumbing.

[@clarenceSidewinder]

I agree

[@carolinebrunskill5735]

Totally.... this is my mother! Thank you I new she was a nasasist but shes so 'nice' to everyone! I felt 'petty' with my issues! Ps I'm 50 odd lol

[@marloparker4436]

My mother is a covert narcissist too pretenting to be spiritual and religious and sugary sweet, her mask is always on. She's an excellent ACTOR. I have seen what's behind her fake mask. It's ugly and grotesque. It leaked out and I can see clean through her. No contact permanantly. I was a great daughter, but she lost that. 0 guilt. I had to get her out of my life because she was sucking the life of of me... she is covert and wicked and is in disquise. Glad to be rid of that poison from my life.

[@solidstate9451]

@@marloparker4436 My aunt didn't talk to me for 15 years because I tried to remove my covert narcissistic mother out of my life. You don't want to hear what insults my mother spit towards my aunt when my aunt wasn't around...

[@alanlinton2106]

TOTALLY! Thank you for being you, your path and your service. And, beautiful on the outside too!

[@nonarcsense]

Ms. Zung please do something on Narcisstic Parental Alienation when you can. It is the scourge of the Family Courts imo and tons more has to be done to effect the changes that are needed. Thank you.

[@bebe8842]

One should never ever feel compassion or remorse over a narcissist! That attitude can actually keep you in the relationship and, ultimately, kill your joy in life and, you.

[@andreyasdus7629]

So true !!!

[@ifyoudontworkyoudonteat7644]

But we’re human too, we’re just misunderstood.

[@ireneneosingo3546]

@@ifyoudontworkyoudonteat7644hey so painful , unexplainable...loose up on urself...

[@ifyoudontworkyoudonteat7644]

@@ireneneosingo3546 Im loose as a goose don’t get me started

[@FriskyTendervittles]

No one can keep you in a relationship. Take personal responsibility because if you don’t then you are a covert narcissist too lol do you see it???

[@suezmommom]

Totally. There it is. I've been confirmed for my feelings. Thank you

[@tneville1962]

Absolutely my experience covert narcissist ... he always mentioned to me that I needed to feel the pain that he felt. Money was his obsession...he associated money to love. If i did not give him money he felt unloved and he hated me with a vengeance. He lied and was obsessed with porn and attention online.

[@deborahscarlette9524]

Mine too. Pulled guns on me.

[@Hannah-zc8gn]

My narc would ask me if I was hungry and ask what I wanted, then go get it for himself. I was pregnant with his child..

[@daresethompson8360]

What a guy 😡🤬

[@Hannah-zc8gn]

@Hélia Alves absolutely. My child and I are safe in our own little place and doing so much better for it!

[@cynthiapatton990]

Wow

[@christinabaatz1204]

Begin to lIVE ON YOUR OWN in your own Home INDEPENDANT from him. You can allow the BABY see his/ her father IF the BABY wants. Surround yourself ONLY with HUMAN BEING who genuinely CARE about you.

[@perfectpetalsforever]

Wow mine did almost the same thing. Was in bed for two days sick, past the hungry stage. My stomach was hurting due to starvation. He looked at me, asked if I'm ok...I sad no..and he went to the living room to watch the game. I guess he was waiting for me to die

[@Mudpuddle123]

Your examples are enriching. I'm learning "life coaching " skills

[@tinman8972]

Yes, the passive-aggressive abuse of covert narcissists often plays out in tiny ways, and your taking offense at them can easily be gaslighted into "You're making a big deal about nothing." It can be as simple as body language. I was walking on a sidewalk with my covert narcissist wife when I noticed that she'd drifted over into my half of the sidewalk, and that I'd have to start walking on the grass if I was to stay side-by-side with her. The message was "Oh, are YOU here?"

[@whyohwhy9679]

My narc used to make sure he always walked on the side of the sidewalk furthest from the street. So subtle until I finally noticed it. After that I intentionally tried to walk on the far side a couple of times but he would find a way to get back over there. It really shouldn't matter when you're just walking down the sidewalk but it did to him.

[@AZDC99]

You too?! She's an ex for a reason for me

[@whyohwhy9679]

@@annakurts9381 Yeah, mine would walk ahead of me too. Once we went on a trip to NYC and he took off while we were in Grand Central Station. I started to follow him then I thought, no, if I do, he'll keep it up this whole vacation week. So I just sat down in a slightly different place, took off my coat and hat so he'd have to hunt for me and did some people watching. He came back a few minutes later - "where did you go? I thought you were following me!" I told him it was a big city and we needed to walk Together for safety - he was always going on about how he cared so much about my safety so I basically made him prove it. The joke was on him because I had been to NYC for work many times and it was his first time there.

[@andreanewhouse8307]

My narcissist would always run me off of the sidewalk when we went for a walk too! I would say he is a malignant narcissist, very intense, extremely extroverted, sadistic and aggressive.

[@barbaralarge2673]

@@whyohwhy9679 Good manners dictate that a gentleman should always walk on the outside, closer to the road. Been a long tradition since horse & buggy days. My parents were big on correct manners.

[@differentpath2144]

Recovering from a covert narcissist that i changed my whole life for everything you have said resonated 100%, deactivated fb after last discard felt like she dropped off the edge of the world, rebuilding my life after nearly a year 🙏

[@sunnydilkssowell7751]

I quit most social media because I'm just so tired of the crap on there and what kind of bs is posted about me or anyone else....less drama, the better life is.

[@howie1014]

Don't make the mistake of trying to help a narcissist because they are bad for your health. Their insecurities are so deep seeded that they feel entitled to their feelings/rights over and above yours at all cost. It near damn destroyed me because I was dealing with a covert narcissist who was nice one minute and abusive and vile the next. This will mess up any emotionally healthy person especially an empathetic one. Steer clear for your own sake!

[@dvegas]

Excessive victim energy is the biggest red flag, for me.

[@jackpetersen7545]

D Vegas,You look cute 🌷🌹,Hope you are not with a narcissist!

[@merissarussomilo8806]

Has stalking me now I’m scared

[@lizapedersen8435]

Thank you so much for this video, Rebecca Zung

[@wrightwayz71]

trying to figure out how to start getting rid of things in order to leave and break all ties without raising suspicion

[@maryteal2225]

Same here!!!! Planning a quiet escape....

[@kellydarby7334]

Same!

[@amymason6234]

Pretend you are taking stuff to the Goodwill or Salvation Army (or shelters) as a donation, and use big black trash bags so they can’t see what is inside. To keep it “real” really take the stuff you don’t want and donate it, take the bags you do want to a friends or a storage unit. (So if you have 3 bags full, at a time, actually have one that is actually donated. Change the donation places too, so it varies.

[@essentialseastar7853]

T TOTALLY!! 🙌🏽💪🏾🙌🏽

[@kelligray1848]

I’m right there too! It’s hard. I think mine is catching on.