Why Do Women Play Hard To Get?

[@SkillofAttraction]

For questions to be answered in the comments, please give a "super thanks" or head over to my website & ask there. 𝕊𝕜𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕆𝕗 𝔸𝕥𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 Men's Advice Community: soa.fm Private relationship/dating coaching: soa.fm/dating-relationship-coaching/ Questions or feedback: soa.fm/contact/ ✔ SOA APPROVED COACHING PROGRAMS 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 How To Get A Sex Buddy: bit.ly/3Mitohu 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗿 Turn a Girl Friend into a Girlfriend: bit.ly/3Kf9EJt 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗮𝗼 𝗢𝗳 𝗕𝗮𝗱𝗮𝘀𝘀 How To Attract ANY Woman: bit.ly/35Jyx0W 𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝘅 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲 Get The Sex Life You Deserve: bit.ly/3K9bI5V

[@SolitarySoldier]

They weed out the try hards rather than the ones who know how to work without overdoing it

[@SkillofAttraction]

Yes, on a much deeper level this is what's happening...they choose the men who show value, & those men show value by not chasing after a woman playing hard to get. This communicates a man's lack of neediness...

[@edwardlopez114]

Another great video thank you Eric . hope all is well for you

[@SkillofAttraction]

Thank you! Hope you're staying healthy!

[@ryguy108]

Woman have to "want" to put out. Especially a girl that is highly sought after and attractive. They get so much attention from men, that they could easily sleep with anyone with the snap of their finger. You have to flip the switch on them and make yourself be the prize.

[@SkillofAttraction]

Yes! On point!

[@AndyKirtland11]

Brilliant content. I was meant to have a date earlier this month, but had to be cancelled due to the terrible circumstances around the world. As a result, we agreed a causal Skype chat. However, she cancelled an hour before it and that was after I sent her a message. In other words, her actions speak louder than words. After kindly agreeing to disagree, she sends me the shortest text ever “I’m sorry about that. Thanks for understanding.” I didn’t reply to her until 2 days later. I just said “Lets not worry about it, especially since times are tough for all right now. Prefer meeting people in person. Let’s just see where things go.” Then kindly mentioned my studies are my top priority and asked her how she’s doing. Hasn’t read the WhatsApp message, so I ain’t going to double text or anything. Just getting on with my own life since we haven’t met in person. Maybe you can do a video on how to keep women interested via text, especially after they agreed a date and coronavirus isn’t a excuse to just cancel the date altogether. New experience for me and others alike.

[@SkillofAttraction]

You're on the right path & you handled it right, but in the future it would be better that you don't get so wordy or explain yourself. The best way to have handled this is to not respond at all, wait about a week & try to arrange something again. But, of course that would be your last attempt if she didn't agree. Our male brains make us feel that we have to logically explain things to women; however, in order for whatever you're trying to communicate to a woman to sink in she must FEEL it emotionally. You not responding to her last text could have made her feel that maybe she messed up by cancelling, causing a little anxiety & leaving yourself a bit mysterious. Then she would have been relieved to hear from you a week later. Of course this is all if she has a high enough interest in you.

[@AndyKirtland11]

Skill of Attraction Yes that makes perfect sense. Definitely not going to chase her since she hasn’t replied back. She’ll be expecting me to double text her, but now going to prove to her that I ain’t happy with her cancelling the chat and if there’s any attraction left, then she will wonder why I haven’t chased her and she will reach out to me. Like you say, I won’t reply back to her until a week later to make her change her behaviour. Otherwise she will do the exact same thing again and think to herself “that’s what I expected.” Need to make her curious from here on now. Still, I won’t be hanging around for her since I know my worth and I ain’t a needy person like she she wrongly thinks. Time to chat to other women on dating sites and treat her like an option for the time being. Thanks for the helpful advice mate. 👍

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@AndyKirtland11 Perfect!

[@AndyKirtland11]

Skill of Attraction I’ve noticed on WhatsApp that she finally read the message, so she has thought of me despite not answering my question. In other words, my kind message basically meant judge me in person and not text without even saying those words. This generation sadly judge people by texts, which is why you’ve gotta stand your ground and limit texting. Text should only be used to arrange things and not get into discussions. I strongly believe nobody can really judge one by texting alone.

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@AndyKirtland11 Yes, you're exactly right! You want to aim for seeing each other face to face, as opposed to dating over text. I do have a video about about making your texting more interesting & fun: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eHqXoamlicSUotE

[@giovannij1368]

We as guys find it difficult, especially the more we get to know thr girl. But we have to have that self control not to over pursue. Even if she's not constantly messaging you back and forth, as long as you're seeing eachother in person and the situation is progressing,thats the important thing

[@SkillofAttraction]

You always want to date women like you're simultaneously dating 2 or 3 other women. Ideally, you actually ARE dating 2 or 3 others, but if that's not possible at the moment, act as if that's the case. When you have other women to choose from, you're never needy, you never over pursue, you're not desperate for to sleep with her, & you have no attachment to outcomes. With this mindset, if she likes you, she will be the one fighting to win your heart.

[@keysmith7415]

I like easy women!!!!!

[@SkillofAttraction]

Haha! Don't we all!

[@shambelovely4398]

100%

[@drraziashahine8160]

Smart.

[@ysr3452]

Hey my gf broke up with me yesterday. On good terms. No begging or nothing. I said sorry, and told her that I want exactly the same thing she does, she told me that she was depressed ( there are multiple things that went into it) and that she didn’t see the future with me like she did before) she recently only 2 weeks ago started feeling doubts. We are Christian. We were in a relationship for 7 months. We know each other’s families well. She has prayed and I got into a couple arguments with her. No bad words or anything. I was just rude. This was through text. And she saw them as red flags from god. I’m 21 she is a bit younger. She just texted me hey, hope you had a good day. One day later after the breakup. I don’t know how to respond, if only one day has passed.

[@SkillofAttraction]

While I can't predict her emotions or what direction this will go, but I would say that this breakup is more about her being hurt from the arguments & that it's temporary. That's not a guarantee, but most likely. So, as long as you play your cards right there's a good chance that she'll be back. I mean, she's already contacting you. So, you can just respond normally, but take your time responding. Remind yourself that she is pushing you away & you don't want chase after her or jump every time she reaches out. You also want to keep your conversations short. You want to have a light & playful attitude with her (no relationship talk unless she brings it up), but don't allow the conversations to go longer than a several minutes. Just tell her that you're in a bit busy & you have to go. If she complains, politely remind her that she broke up with you & while you love her, you have to get on with your life. If she values/loves you, keep this distance from her will indirectly push her to take action.

[@ysr3452]

Thank you. She called me yesterday night and said she was worried because I didn’t respond. She asked how I was doing. I said decent, and she said she wasn’t doing well. I said well if you want you could talk to me, but at the same time I don’t want to be a friend to you. I told her to tell me, she told me a couple little things, and I asked if there is more. She said yeah it’s just a lot. I told her well if you want to tell me you can, and you can just talk to me later if it’s something serious. I said I have to go because I need to finish a class. And she said okay goodnight. I said you too. I feel like I didn’t leave it in the best note, so I texted right after, and said “I really appreciate the call, I know it’s hard for you right now, “ I hope you feel better soon:)”. She said thank you. Now it’s no contact. I think I did decent. It’s quarantine as well, if she reaches out in a while, should I try to set a date somehow, and say, let’s catch up? Or just respond well and leave? I just don’t want to mess up with my love

[@ysr3452]

Skill of Attraction she just called again! To tell me something funny. A duck chased her today and she called just to tell me. It’s a good sign but I just said thanks for calling? And we laughed too... idk lol. It’s weird. Is that a good sign?

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@ysr3452 You're doing fine, dude. You don't want to overthink this & be consistently worried you're going to mess up; that can cause you to make even more mistakes. No one is perfect & no man can do things right 100% of the time. You learn from mistakes. You just want to keep studying & practicing the fundamentals & you'll be fine. You did the right thing here; you were there for her when she needed you, but without being her girlfriend. So, yes...when she reaches out again arrange a date. If you can't see each other face to face due to the quarantine, then arrange a skype/facetime date.

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@ysr3452 Yes, absolutely a good sign! She's looking for excuses to be in touch with you, which means you're prevalent in her thoughts. She could've called one of her girlfriends or family, but she called you.

[@reiulqini4458]

Hello, thanks for the amazing videos as always. If you are dealing with younger and therefore more needy, insecure, attention seeking and need of validation kinda girls, do you still need to be a bit of a challenge and not be overly available or those kind of girls will actually like that behavior more since they are already insecure and need the validation to feel good and feel special. I am asking because most girls my age tend to be like this, not the alpha mature girl that knows what she wants and is confident and independent. Thank you :)

[@SkillofAttraction]

Yes, the same fundamentals apply. That's not to say that you shouldn't make your girl feel special though. A lot of men misinterpret this information, thinking it's all "my way or the highway". There's a balance that you must find since everyone is a little different...but the same fundamentals apply.

[@joshvinbaytel3608]

Hey coach, i have a predicament. My girl, who ive been dating for 3 months, but have been intimate for about 3/4 of a year goes silent on me somedays to see if i reach out. for example yesterday when she did and then texted me around midnight angry that i didnt reach out all day. Shes been getting really upset that i havent been initiating calling/texting as shes been the one chasing me for a while now. she says shes tired of it and is going to stop reaching out until she sees that im making an effort to change. the thing is i am now left to do 100% of the initiating, ive began to slowly reciprocate. i dont reach out on purpose because in the beginning i was too needy, but i turned that around and now maybe im being too cold? we have a trip planned in 2 weeks, we talk daily and see each other a decent amount, but she says she doesnt want to beg for my attention. i have done other things to show her how much i care and i dont mind reaching out more i just dont want to over do it. thanks for any feedback

[@SkillofAttraction]

Well, if you were needy in the past & you suddenly changed to not initiating at all, she most likely feels you're playing games. Now, she's playing games with you. When you implement something like that, it's always best to do that slowly so it's not as noticeable. So, give her a little of what she wants so the game playing stops, then slowly turn it around in your favor. As an example, if you normally initiate contact daily, this week only initiate 5 days, then the next week only 3-4 times, & so on until she's reaching out more.

[@joshvinbaytel3608]

Skill of Attraction it wasn’t all of a sudden, it happened over the course of a few months, it’s just now because she’s had this talk with me several times that it’s this bad. i’ll take your advice though and see if i can get it back to a 30-70 ratio. on a side note maybe you can tell me where this girls attraction is for me. recently we talk about our future again, she’s really excited for this trip with me, last time we had sex was maybe 2 and a half weeks ago, she’s currently going through her period and honestly we just haven’t had a clean chance to. this girl is extremely pretty and she has a lot of guys always orbiting, ive watched the video and have never shown jealousy towards them, one has been really bothering me though. when she’s with me, which due to this quarantine (is mostly just hang out at my house) she cuddles and shows a decent amount of affection. sometimes i just get into this state of fear of losing her. i am never phased at the shit tests she throws at me, which are a lot, maybe sometimes i fail but for the most part i pass them easily and it’s becoming easier to identify them. any feedback would be great sorry for the long response

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@joshvinbaytel3608 If you pulling back your initiating didn't happen suddenly, then just reach out to her once or twice a week (but no more); keep it a surprise to when you reach out. This will make her feel like you care without chasing her away. As far as where her attraction levels are at; with this quarantine it makes it very difficult to judge. However, her actions (even getting very upset of your lack of initiating) shows it's on the higher side. Just keep in mind that a woman's attraction for you is always in flux; where it's high today, it could be low tomorrow. The trick is to not allow that to affect you. If she's giving you a lot of shit tests, this typically means you're not doing a great job of 'passing' them. But the fact that you're getting better at recognizing them is great! This will make your life & relationships so MUCH easier. In fact, if you want a great book about shit tests & how to pass them I recommend this one: amzn.to/36DX980

[@joshvinbaytel3608]

Skill of Attraction thanks a lot i’ll give it a try, i came into my room today with her completely naked under the covers, she initiated right away and said she missed this, she just got off her period

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@joshvinbaytel3608 Nice! It's important to keep in mind that just because she's mad or upset with you doesn't necessarily mean that you're doing something wrong. Women need to experience a wide spectrum of emotions in order to feel alive, even the negative ones. And it's always better that she be a little frustrated with you for not seeing/hearing from you enough, as opposed to being bored with you because you're always there, or too easy.

[@ravindran8838]

Hey Erik! I know its a silly question but could she be playing hard to get because she still doesnt trust me? I was kind of a dick to her before and hurt her. But i've changed now and she realises this however she plays hard to get (she still initiates the conversations and shows interest of going out) But she isnt expressive about her feelings like she used to be, but i can sense that she is way more atrracted to who i am now. But she still tries to keep it down low, could she be doing it to see if she could trust the new me?

[@SkillofAttraction]

That's a little different than playing hard to get. In your case, it seems that she has her guard up & protecting her heart. This is not at all uncommon after you've hurt a woman. So, she will probably be behaving this way until she feels that she can trust you again; slowly opening up little by little. All that you can really do is just be patient. However, you want to be careful here that you don't fall into the trap of being extra nice as a way to reassure her. It's really easy to fall into this trap in your situation. You want to continue being the strong, confident man she's so attracted to & she will come around slowly & open back up.

[@NewLeaf88]

But how do we pretend to be busy in quarantine ?

[@SkillofAttraction]

Well, you're not supposed to pretend. The idea is to focus on your purpose or on something productive. However, if you don't have purpose yet, then you want to work on finding that, or focus on hobbies. As an example, I'm working a normal day, but during my downtime I'm teaching myself a new musical instrument & I just ordered an kit to learn about Arduino electronics. So, you want to find something that interests you that you can focus on...or start researching other interests so you CAN find your purpose in life.

[@NewLeaf88]

@@SkillofAttraction Thank you for your help. I love watching your videos and always look forward to your new ones.

[@SkillofAttraction]

@@NewLeaf88 Thanks, man!

[@Jay-ef2ii]

ATTENTION: The man must be more beautiful looking than the woman in order for the relationship to work. He may not be that great looking of a guy and that is why the woman is giving him a lot problems. If the man were great looking then the relationship with that woman would have gone even further. It's time for that guy to bail out, now! He needs to be dating women who are 2 points down or a point down in order for the relationship to work. He needs to be the beautiful one in the relationship, period. Men who are not that good-looking and who are dating a hot woman will be seen as a slave. You want to be seen as an equal or be seen as "above guy." Women break rules for alphas and make them for betas"(Darius M. 2022, USA, KZbin). April 7, 2023. USA.

[@SkillofAttraction]

None of that is true besides your last line...

[@geoeconomics5629]

She is rising her value by playing hard to get

[@SkillofAttraction]

Psychologically, that's what happens...but in many cases that's not the reason she's doing it. The good news is, it works for men too! kzbin.info/www/bejne/nJ_VmZain5Kmm8U

[@giovannij1368]

Im not gonna ssy they all do it but, they do it, even when they ARE interested. Its just sometimes ppl overplay their hand and then the other person loses interest

[@SkillofAttraction]

Yes, but only a little & usually only in the very early stages just to see how much you like them. But I recommend that you do it: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nJ_VmZain5Kmm8U

[@trillmix0652]

Playing hard to get makes them hard to want.

[@SkillofAttraction]

You missed to point.

[@Ballpython77]

women playing hard to get are toxic waste of space. walk away, it's all you need to do. plenty of fish in the sea!

[@SkillofAttraction]

Almost all of them do it for one reason or another.

[@stefanross8129]

..... you WANT Women to test you and play hard to get! That means that Women like you and want to see if you're a confident, playfully arrogant Man.

[@SkillofAttraction]

Yes, a woman testing you is a sign that she's into you. Many men get angry when they learn that woman test, but it's better to see it as her way of pushing you to display your masculinity...or to man up.

[@bridgetgullison8848]

The same reason men do. They don’t want a relationship

[@SkillofAttraction]

Not quite that black & white...especially when most women are taught to play hard to get.

[@woesartenzin5184]

Sounds like Corey wayne

[@SkillofAttraction]

You need to branch out & learn from more than one person...

[@ЛукиСтрелы-ш2и]

If woman play hard to get it only means your a low value.

[@SkillofAttraction]

In many cases, yes. Just keep in mind that many (not all women) are taught to play hard to get in the very early stages & sometimes do it just to see how much you like her. You want to be a little persistent & lead her, but never chase.

[@marymorrison1429]

We play hard to get because seeing guys doing shit effort for us is so sweet! Punishing guys are only hobbies for us women., hahaha!

[@SkillofAttraction]

You're proving exactly what I say in this video.

[@dmitryisaev5955]

Some day you will be hurtfully punished by a guy, then think about these words of yours…

[@arianamontenegro5528]

You are an ugly feminist

[@Shanebond675]

Very true but this comes to an end when you cross 30 with no market value. Thrown away to the curb by some alpha chad.😂😂😂😂