why does every video essay start like this.

deep sigh I guess you all are making me talk about Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide. If I must.
Twitter: / mancarrying
Patreon: / mancarryingthing
Reddit: / mancarryingthing
Discord: / discord
Instagram: / mancarryingthing
#videoessay

[@arenkai]

You forgot the "I didn't want to make this video..."

[@ManCarryingThing]

literally was debating whether a silent sigh or that would work better lol

[@willlord6289]

Every Jacob geller video

[@ihatemickiegee]

that sounds more like a ~current events~ video essay than just a Video Essay

[@stevepensando2593]

That's more like apology videos

[@nathanscore]

".....yet here we are. [awkward pose]. capitalism."

[@HelloFutureMe]

but if we didn't awkwardly pause how would you know how jaded, cynical, and insightful we are

[@VoiceofGeekdom]

Tim! I was just about to link you to this, but I see someone else beat me to it. 😂

[@HelloFutureMe]

@@VoiceofGeekdom these video essay ones are my favourite videos I've seen in a long time

[@inimene3796]

what a witty comment

[@shyridershyridershyrider]

if lindsey ellis starts a video eating chips or drinking alcohol, you KNOW she's going to be cynical and jaded (because she doesn't give a crap anymore 😎)

[@claireindigo1200]

Not your video popping up for me to watch right after this one😂😂😂😂😂

[@_Marsh]

"Capitalism is bad and no other show tackled this topic as effectively as Mr Bean did. But first, a word from our sponsor..."

[@cchantal5435]

Amazing comment

[@owlgoddess8534]

…audible

[@kieranhurst8543]

Nord VPN

[@fandasvetlo]

The irony of that is amazing!

[@dylanrodrigues]

@@fandasvetlo you claim to criticize society, yet you live in one! Checkmate

[@augustday9483]

He's got a bookshelf behind him, that's how you know he's an intelligent and educated person!

[@dexi6111]

knowledge!

[@andrewtucker94]

With only Stephen King on it lol

[@AskwhoQ]

“Here in my garage!”

[@MyScorpion42]

But does it have House of Leaves in it?

[@exotic1405]

​@@MyScorpion42house of leaves huh? How about you leave this house

[@d-maproductions9175]

The video essay “why Mickey Mouse is funny”, the beginning of the video: “capitalism”

[@sapphire4310]

Title: "Why Mickey Mouse is funny" Script: "capitalism" END

[@lucasalfradique6777]

@@sapphire4310 based.

[@8BitsOfFun1323]

"First we need to talk about parallel universes"

[@greatvalue_ethelcain]

Chapter One: The Origins of Film

[@jesustyronechrist2330]

0:00 - "Capitalism..." 22:34 - "So in 1937 in Nazi Germany, Mickey Mouse was a symbol of white supremacy..."

[@guitarsimon1]

If you’d looked 20% sadder and drank water instead this could’ve also been the start of an apology video.

[@soccerruben1]

And no glasses, and no makeup

[@guitarsimon1]

@@soccerruben1 Ah yes perfect dude, and bloodshot eyes, like the kind you get where you push really hard on your eyes your start to see crazy swirly stuff.

[@Ben-ed4wx]

Different music

[@commandercaptain4664]

“Sorry IF I offended you…”

[@iyoukoya8001]

Dont forget the over the top sigh after he sits down 💀

[@Taikamuna]

I thought "Man carrying thing" was just a joke related to the video but I just realized that it's indeed your channel name lol

[@the__monkey]

same

[@dat_fast_boi]

@@the__monkey engineer gaming

[@daychild_]

@@dat_fast_boi fast boi

[@neurotic-P]

Purple_Chalk Purple_Chalk

[@lookingbackfurther]

@@neurotic-P hyperjynx

[@MrMarshGames]

There is also those people who put a sound byte of a tape going into a VCR after every segment.

[@ashleyg.6366]

LMFAO I never thought of this before, but I realized it's true.

[@Alibaba-le2ku]

I want this whole video essay to be released weekly in 20 second increments

[@lukecox6317]

And by the end, he will have finished the bottle

[@danielcrosby1254]

If this does not happen i will go on strike.

[@manuelalmagro9837]

YES

[@Shrilaraune]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@FrenkTheJoy]

@Nat20 Damage It's bold to assume us losers on KZbin will have a line of progeny that long.

[@Mcf4742]

Every cell in my body was screaming that he was going to say “capitalism” and I was fucking right, this is perfect

[@ManCarryingThing]

hell yeah, thank u

[@JaMorantBiggerArm]

@@Horrjblue huh

[@Pentti_Hilkuri]

And if this had been a woman, the first word would've been "patriarchy".

[@coslegh58]

The fact that he kinda looks like Salva from Money Heist, makes the capitalism joke is even better.

[@Supreme_Lobster]

@@coslegh58 shit he kinda does

[@mudabeeb]

"The problem with Bob the Builder" *png of bob on a blurred grayscale background with VHS filter*

[@heck_n_degenerate940]

I was waiting for you to ask into the camera: “Why does every video essay…, start like This~?” [VHS click sound effect & cut to black title card] [Classical Beethoven Piano music plays as b-roll starts] “Capitalism.” [cut to speaker with widened, knowing eyes] [Music shifts to something more modern and drastically higher bpm] “But wait, we’re getting ahead of ourselves…”

[@joshualodder1567]

I instinctively downvoted because of just how accurately infuriating your comment is

[@harunakirisaki9474]

why can i HEAR and VISUALIZE your comment omg

[@tentacledood5784]

HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE-

[@adieuing]

one word is better than allat

[@nbkw48]

Browntable and Hitop Films called and they want royalties

[@ErmenBlankenberg]

Oh yes, the classic "opening bottle of alcohol at the start of the video to suggest how exhausting the topic at hand is and how upset the essayist will get over the course of the video" move.

[@inafridge8573]

bottle of heynessey

[@annedrieck7316]

GO AWAY NOW!

[@nousseirbahlous3387]

Literally the modern equivalent of old video game and movie reviewers: "looks like I'm gonna need more alcohol for this one" *pulls out comic prop giant bottle of vodka*

[@pluto3194]

Only thing it's missing is the deep sigh beforehand. You know it's gonna they're gonna get very upset over the thing if they drink alcohol AND sigh deeply beforehand

[@frogglen6350]

@@nousseirbahlous3387 too be fair, the comically giant alcohol bottle was just meant to be a silly joke. It's not trying to be jaded or cynical

[@sami5614]

Before we explore the dangers of consumerism at how it effects our media, let's have a word from today's sponsor RAID: Shadow Legends™ is an immersive online experience with everything you'd expect from a brand new RPG title. It's got an amazing storyline, awesome 3D graphics, giant boss fights...

[@wyattcheramie004]

💀

[@guillermogerrycabrera7625]

At this rate, even without the channels advertising raidshadowlegends, the comments itself are the ones advertising it. Lmao

[@drakep.5857]

They often aren't endorsing the game at all, just doing it to support themselves. Anyone with a clear mind knows none of it s sincere and will skip right through, and the essayist knows that.

[@dustinm2717]

@@drakep.5857 i mean they have money to keep throwing at KZbinrs on mass and that money isn't coming from thin air, so, as many of us know to skip it clearly enough people do bite for it to be profitable for raid to do it

[@reverendaero]

@@drakep.5857 Simp harder and maybe senpai will notice you

[@KITT.007]

0:07 That awkward nod while staring into the camera gave me secondhand embarrassment. And it’s hilariously accurate too, even for a parody video

[@Hithalo]

Same

[@Aaron-fb6mb]

Millennial

[@hunterfunnyguy]

It's because they're afraid to talk enthusiastically about things that genuinely interest them, lest they be deemed the dreaded Cringe.

[@LanceWillMakeIt]

probably

[@comicalcosmonaut959]

Life’s too short to care if you’re cringe. Just do you lmao

[@abook2141]

cringe culture is dead we're free

[@hunterfunnyguy]

@@comicalcosmonaut959 I don't know how to phrase this just rest assured I am not agreeing with showing genuine interest being cringe lol

[@caramel9154]

don't wanna be a dick but i think you oughta find better video essay makers, idk wendigoon, hbomber, Patrica taxxon or the guy who made the beastar furry gay video.

[@ew275x]

"Capitalism is bad. Today we'll discuss how through the lens of [Insert animated CG movie here], but first a brief history lesson: PART 1, THE BIG BANG AND THE ORIGIN OF THE UNIVERSE"

[@kajura8684]

the entire video being filler going over the unnecessary history with the narrator occasionally grasping at straws like a sea turtle with a death wish to connect it with his point

[@RajShekhar-jy2zi]

@@kajura8684 oh yeah right wing based on facts and logicsss . Left wing bad sjw cringe

[@kajura8684]

@@RajShekhar-jy2zi youre so right using the uglydolls movie to make the same capitalism bad point for the 100th time isn't cringe at all

[@RajShekhar-jy2zi]

@@kajura8684 it's a real issue you enlightened centrist unlike the made up victimhood of Right wingers.

[@maka8551]

@@RajShekhar-jy2zi are you parodying yourself

[@jaromstrong6545]

I feel like the whole "exasperatedly opening a bottle of alcohol as the video starts" is a very Lindsay Ellis thing lol

[@johanflock_art]

Defenitely

[@Cur1ocity]

Well she is an alcoholic so...

[@chillhands7828]

@@johanflock_art *Definitively

[@johanflock_art]

@@chillhands7828 definitely**

[@WingedPlatypus]

This shit dates back to the video essay founding father: James Rolf

[@JuanYusteDelValle]

My three hour video on why this two minute scene on episode 3 season 8 of my Little pony is intertwined with the reaganism neoliberal politics and its ramifications affecting interaectional socioeconomic structures

[@harmonicpsyche8313]

...do u want me to link the essay i wrote in 2017 about how my little pony fim season 8 episode 1-2 "school daze" promotes a neoliberal political ideology

[@alaskabane5340]

@@harmonicpsyche8313 yes, yes we do

[@madichelp0]

@@harmonicpsyche8313 link it mate

[@Syvergy]

There’s a KZbinr who does insanely long video essays on the most niche topics and she pours tea from beginning to end and it drives me insane.

[@hull_k0gan641]

Thanks for the recommendation. Be cool if you left her name, ass

[@mogo-wc7xw]

give name please

[@luffyd5832]

give name please

[@kayllama20]

Sarah Z?

[@zbsfm]

thats sarah z and she uses subject-appropriate beverages, idk why it drives you insane it's just her brand

[@JoshNeller]

To my assumption: Video Essay people tend to lean on a cinematic approach on their 1h long video essay. Anyways. Capitalism...

[@tobyjohnson9136]

95% of the people who make them are former American film school students. This also explains why so many of them have the exact same very ardent opinions on cinema. They were taught them in film school. And a lot of the things they're so ardently taught as being the 'wrong' way to make a film are just the things that become too played out a generation earlier and are, ironically, probably not by the time the graduates go on to make their own films.

[@onometre]

1 hour? that's like 1/12th the length of these things at this point

[@lemonadechamp4281]

@@zzodysseuszz Love the vagueness here. They always do that? Mind if I asked for an example then?

[@zach2712]

one hour? don't be so generous, it's six

[@katatonikbliss]

@@tobyjohnson9136 i enjoyed reading that essay as much as you enjoyed writing it

[@Xineal]

it's an ironic visual prop to indicate how essayists know they're about to get pretentious (bringing in a lot of academic books and philosophers), while also conveying a sense of chaotic "homey/of the people" vibe (drinking in apparently mid-day like an alcoholic) that appeals to the KZbin home video aesthetic.

[@ManCarryingThing]

i feel like youtube essay people must disguise their sincere academic interests with this type of vibe, for sure. I get why, considering youtube is sort of a parasocial relationship dating site.

[@dportnov]

@@ManCarryingThing I never thought of it like that, but you're totally right. It's weird, but it's just been normalized.

[@itcouldbelupus2842]

@@ManCarryingThing Damn. It is a parasocial dating site. Guess I'm still a slut and you're my new boyfriend.

[@omnitroph1501]

The booze is meant to indicate how fed-up they are with the subject matter of the video, to the point where their entire motivation to live has disappeared and they've developed alcoholism to cope. Very few of them actually have, but overdramatizing their emotional reaction to it is a key element in radicalizing their audiences.

[@Sonicadvaned09]

@@ManCarryingThing Funny because it was originally supposed to be a dating site.

[@dhuh6760]

What's funny is, I can not for the life of me, think of any video essay that started like this. The drinking, the lo-fi music, the bookshelf, the wrinkled dress shirt and barely kempt facial hair. But it *feels* like every video essay intro.

[@olivercharles2930]

It is an amalgamation of many essay video intros and a dash of exaggeration for comedy.

[@rainbowlack]

It brings Folding Ideas to mind, especially his "...and the Art of..." series and Fifty Shades series

[@jarmarmarn4323]

The little gesture with the glass like you're toasting the audience is what really sells it

[@alpacamale2909]

This isn't the worst part, the worst part is when they try to get inspirational towards the end.

[@LittleGoblinBoi]

*THIS.* I don't want to feel motivated after I watch a 1 hour long video essay. I want to know why what you're talking about is either pure gold or literal human shit.

[@Ninjaananas]

That's necessary for a good mark.

[@thursdaytractiontuesdaytit1325]

is your pfp from house of five leaves?

[@alpacamale2909]

@@thursdaytractiontuesdaytit1325 Yes

[@inafridge8573]

@@thursdaytractiontuesdaytit1325 i love your username

[@GhostGum]

This really says a lot about our society.

[@Jenkowelten]

It really does

[@josephbrennan370]

I enjoyed your reddit island video.

[@tylerirelandnfl]

And yet, we live in one

[@gratefulcranegames]

the man the myth

[@lizzzylavender]

We live in one

[@allanc_me763]

... then a word from our sponsor, Raid Shadow Legends

[@Smahdeey]

I didn't even notice this was 19 seconds long, I thought it was going to be a lengthy critique of cliché video essays

[@pratikmandal1350]

Lyrics: "Capitalism."

[@ManCarryingThing]

copyright Man Carrying Thing 2021

[@arnerademacker]

Thank you, you’re doing gods work. Not all capes wear heroes.

[@pressplayulysses]

Such profoundness.

[@AroundTheCampfire]

A leftist reading of Ned's Declassifed School Survival Guide [1:19:43]

[@ManCarryingThing]

this but unironically

[@brandonmorgan8016]

I unironically want this

[@AroundTheCampfire]

@@ManCarryingThing you're the chosen one Jake. This video would dissolve all politcal turmoil and harken a new age of enlightenment

[@blipboigilgamesh7865]

Is mosey a fascist? A video essay [3:39:45]

[@Otzkar]

A marxist interpretation of diary of a wimpy kid: What Gregs relationship with Rowley tells us about the economic base of America.

[@SillySyrup]

He sat down like a grandpa at a barbeque

[@FTZPLTC]

I like the ones where there's an ironically dramatic montage of tweets overlaying each other for too long.

[@jonnystoffel]

Look at this guy, quote-stealing other essayists’ opening lines (“Sigh.”) without attribution, what a joke.

[@greyisnthere]

Capitalism, am I right?

[@kapitan19969838]

@@greyisnthere Yup! It just works!

[@chubchub5681]

"....And so, as you can see, SpongeBob is to blame for the fall of western civilization and capitalism as we know it."

[@rekagotik2785]

No no no, SpongeBob represents the Dionysian ideal of spontaneity in contrast to Squidward's systematic Appolonian approach to art. In reality Squidward envies SpongeBob but he was unwilling to admit it and ...

[@ManCarryingThing]

but it's true

[@nizio7889]

@@CorruptedDogg it's a real essay!!! And a pretty good one too. Look up contrapoints, envy.

[@kx7500]

based spongebob

[@sym7434]

oh thank god

[@jada_9827]

"...is good, thanks for watching!"

[@mallk238]

seriously why do they always have to start by walking into frame and sitting down with such a heavy sigh. I've learned that I can usually just start skipping the first few seconds of any video essay because they really don't have anything in there besides a couple extra seconds of direct eye contact with the camera

[@DJPeachCobbler]

This absolutely fucking murdered me

[@gregorycomey]

DJ Peach Cobbler

[@nategraham1487]

Dj peach cobbler

[@mohamedfarih1649]

Yooooo you're into booktube too?

[@matthewa3413]

Rest in Peace

[@55umbrellas]

Shall I call the authorities or the morgue?

[@aquajock9413]

Only thing missing is "we need to talk about X"

[@kirbylore4883]

"Now you might be wondering, what's so wrong about X?"

[@imperialofficer6185]

Hello, NameOfPlatform

[@nallyaaaaaa]

THIS OH MY GOD-

[@onlyfrog]

Kevin

[@ham9774]

@Julo Micha But it's actually not that bad.

[@empressredbird]

One day, we will have a video essay that starts with someone not drinking in the first seconds, because they were wise enough to hydrate before starting the recording

[@nines3048]

the long term effects of contrapoints

[@FPSDIESEL]

In 19 seconds I have not seen someone convey so much with zero filler. It's like a good version of the thing it's parodying.

[@wesleywyndam-pryce5305]

that makes no sense at all

[@commandercaptain4664]

We’re invited to his falling off the wagon show.

[@Carltonwanks]

Just say you want likes, The video wasn't even remotely Funny or interesting,it only got views because of the title

[@vengeancegauloise6049]

Ah yes, words

[@ThisChangeIsAwful]

It's funny to see comments getting ratio'd just existing. Like about 12 people over the nearly 6000 who read this didn't understand it to the point it triggered a reaction.

[@bocodamondo]

at this point i cant stand video essays that start with old recorder sounds

[@deshrektives]

I personally like the Mandalorian theme.

[@checcmac8693]

Sponsored in the intro

[@Fishlord136]

What’s an old recorder sound

[@novaroseoooooo]

@bunkey Damn I thought we were talking about medieval instruments

[@TheItalianoAssassino]

bruh fr

[@gunslingerplays]

But first, let me introduce you to the sponsor for this video, NEBULA

[@sleepyguy4237]

What the hell, I was promised a 4 hour video essay on why Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide is great.

[@jekizer]

It's the "WHATs up guys" for the "I am very smart" crowd.

[@willd.4808]

Don't forget when the video title is a yes/no question & they immediately begin the video with either "yes" or "no" & then pretend to play the credits & then the actual video starts

[@nousseirbahlous3387]

"Okay, okay, let's start at the beginning"

[@RyanStorey1231]

Ngl, I really like that joke.

[@schwa4883]

This isn’t done to death or anything. It’s relatively common, but it’s a joke that has its charm. Plus, I don’t think you ever see that type of joke in videos like what this guy’s parodying.

[@Krozbot]

i always like that joke, as Schwa! stated it's not overdone and it's pretty clever (imo)

[@eneco3965]

That's not common at all though. I've personally seen it happen only twice, and it's certainly better than having it being answered after like 20 minutes

[@monza0km486]

*walks in* *drinks a cup of coffee* *deep breath* "Spongebob..."

[@errortryagainlater4240]

You know those people in MMO's who go around typing "..." because they think it makes them look jaded and mysterious? This is basically the more annoying, hipster equivalent of that.

[@edward4840]

The video title: Why Spongebob Square Pants The Movie is a Disappointment The video's opening: In his seminal work "Das Capital", Karl Marx wrote…

[@allegedlyfalse6779]

"Here's how I show how I'm hesitant to talk about this topic right before a two-hour video in which I've done extensive research, writing, recording, and editing. If I must, you made me do it, viewers."

[@koelee]

**_sits at desk_** **_turns on computer_** **_prepares to record_** **_turns on camera_** **_gets back up_** **_walks out of frame_** **_pretends like they just came in and totally weren't sitting in the same spot for the last 2 hours_**

[@decorativewingdings]

This guy is not going to stop until every video essayist is in tears

[@roghider3552]

good

[@stormblessed178]

Plus the first 10 mins of this 60+ min essay aren't actually about the subject at hand, it's just some story just barely related but will be used to reference back to at the end anyway despite the fact the video would be fine without it.

[@stevensilver2880]

Quinton reviews

[@googleuser3163]

And that's after a three minute add for The Great Courses Plus

[@iy42]

My fave is hour long video essay that starts with a reference to how long the video essay will be as part of around 10 minutes opening filler that's so slowly paced and padded it makes clear that the hour long runtime stems not from an abundance of content but instead from, at best, thoughtless editing and, at worst, just wanting to be an hour long for the prestige of it. Anyway... Capitalism.

[@NeepNeepPohn]

"Why SpongeBob Is Founded In Eugenics: A Closer Look On Nickelodeon"

[@XX-pp3bx]

If someone made sarcastic videos on that stuff that would be hilarious to watch

[@harmonicpsyche8313]

@Jack Saint

[@metallicfingers]

"why ___ is an underrated masterpiece"

[@JP-ve7or]

And every time he thinks he's said something clever, he'll take a sip and make a face at the camera while some quick closeup cuts happen.

[@jabison05]

*dramatically sits down and sips alcohol* “Minecraft is a 2009 indie game pro-

[@rigulur]

11 minutes in their pet appears, and they just have to appear remotely exasperated but they pick them up and play with them on camera anyway. so relatable

[@kimifw58]

Is it now a legal requirement for every KZbinr to own a cat or small dog?

[@MarshmallowEclipse]

THANK you. I fucking hate it when they include moments of their pet walking in the room, even creators who I like a lot do that shit. The only channel I've seen include a pet moment that wasn't cringe and awful was Grayson's Projects.

[@Ebony___]

@@MarshmallowEclipse i love seeing the pets cuz its like, one minute im seething over a game/movie/book etc, the next im taking a cute break and losing my mind over the cutest pet in existence :(

[@heyhi5503]

@@MarshmallowEclipse why does it bother u so much it’s just cute little pets😭

[@MarshmallowEclipse]

@@Ebony___ Yeah see I can't relate, I don't understand the appeal of "cute pets." I'm fine with animals but they don't make me feel that.

[@The_0ne_True_Kat]

*drinks alchohol* ... "CAPITALISM" -I have been blown away with this video essay it really captures everything I want in a video essay. Just amazing

[@andrewwales8827]

Video game reviewers at the start of every Sonic 06 episode.

[@ellopen6100]

0:00 introduction 0:18 capitalism

[@ManCarryingThing]

thank u. sorry i forgot those

[@jonnystoffel]

0:03 insightful sigh 0:06 regretful sigh

[@soulreaperx7x]

There was a period like 2 or 3 years ago where all their topics always lead to something about existentialism too. Didn't matter what they started the video about, it always lead to existentialism. They would also always end the video on a somber note and with some synthwave playing in the background.

[@mrpurple11]

Omg, it's true

[@ginogatash4030]

There was also the period where every fucking video essay about films started with the sound of someone violently mashing their cassette against the VCR followed by very phony grain effect, synth or just 80's esthetic in general cause 80's kids turned 30 so everyone kept shoving 80's esthetic everywhere and make it fucking annoying for everyone.

[@SplendidCoffee0]

@@ginogatash4030 it’s about to happen to the 2000s 😭

[@ginogatash4030]

@@SplendidCoffee0 I don't know, it's becoming nostalgic for sure but the 2000's don't have as strong and different esthetics as the 80's, at least not the kind that would make it into video essays and such, I mean, what do you replace the VHS intro and effect with?

[@SplendidCoffee0]

@@ginogatash4030 uh, another VHS intro clip?

[@Gh0stily111]

You hit the nail on the head with that line delivery, it gave me a ptsd flashback of clicking on a video essay and instantly regretting my decision but persisting as there’s nothing better to do for the next hour or so.

[@zaedis5629]

Because you're about to sit there listening for the next 1-4 hours, and now it feels like he's there sitting through it with you.

[@leila4509]

The lofi hip hop, the sigh, the quick zoom in, the music fading and of course the final word- capitalism - this video is perfect 10/10

[@cupio-stardust]

Do you know the song name?

[@ryrieee]

i wish someone made a compilation of youtube video essays cutting off after the first word, it's always hilarious

[@randomstuffprod.]

YOU'RE SO FUCKIN RIGHT

[@Chadnvaldr]

Every alpha male podcast: "Women-"

[@olivercharles2930]

Every video essay about alpha male podcasts: "Men-"

[@Chadnvaldr]

​@@olivercharles2930the good ol' days of Anita Sarkeesian

[@steamcode4441]

They all want to seem like ivory tower intellectuals

[@wolfmanwilliam5801]

You broke the code. Kinda like Viggo broke his toes on that one scene in LOTR.

[@ksilva2848]

Or his teeth in that one scene of LOTR

[@user-rr9ng9bo9l]

Viggo broke his toes in LOTR? i didn't knew that, Woah! I need a 4 hour video essay on this

[@kenevanchik4478]

@@user-rr9ng9bo9l Yes, mostly due to ... capitalism.

[@ManCarryingThing]

he got me FIRED

[@jonesjones6279]

I have to gag myself whenever I watch LotR with a friend. I don’t wanna be *that* guy, but I also desperately feel the urge to become *that* guy.

[@DavidDecero]

The emptier the bottle the hotter the takes.

[@ManCarryingThing]

you understand the youtube hustle

[@caitlinbelforti870]

Hey Lindsey Ellis. Good to see you again

[@TheBilly]

Can't believe you made me crack up like this with just one word

[@acidix983]

I clicked on this knowing it was satire, but for a split second i thought the video was gonna continue.

[@Dogdrule]

Where's the "trailing off into fake laughter at the absurdity of something before a hard cutaway" installment of this series?

[@TheSuckoShow]

"Making content is harder than your 9 to 5."

[@emilebel6804]

"Before we begin, let's talk about our sponsor..."

[@birdiejett3163]

It’s a style of content popularized by a few key creators and imitated by others, just like the “angry reviewer” style that was popularized before it. I’m interested to see what style film critique and analysis will take in the future of KZbin

[@DeadManSinging1]

Schmoes getting drunk around a couch like RLM

[@GiygasStarman]

Jontron absurdism?

[@Gabriel87100]

Someone just brings cheap beer-branded plastic tables/chairs to the middle of a street and begins drinking alcohol non-stop until the end of the essay so we can watch all the stages of the coherent cynical narrative to slurred speech right to a casual broken conversation with a camera, edited after the youtuber is arrested and released for public disturbance.

[@ImpendingRiot83]

Pat Finnerty’s ‘What Makes This Song Stink’ is the way forward. He’s blazing the trails as we speak.

[@briankirz231]

What an insightful comment

[@Uniquenameosaurus]

Man, with only 18 seconds to utilise, I really thought I knew the whole video just from just the metadata. WASN'T READY

[@omnacky]

@@orionroberts1253 hahaha

[@KiraNikk0s]

I love your videos and your vibe, don't listen to the haters my g 💕

[@Uniquenameosaurus]

@@KiraNikk0s Lolol, thank you, but its fine. Never cared about comments like that. It comes with the job.

[@nothankyoutube]

Grad student perfected.

[@FrankieUtka]

I've never seen or even heard of a video essay before, yet I watched this and feel as though I completely understand.

[@GrimDarkHalfOff]

Young Stephen King is right: Capitalism

[@ralphintheshadowrealm7002]

The 2010 “bad” movie reviewer equivalent to this is acting as if they don’t want to review the thing they proceed to spend time reviewing lol

[@quagstar]

The start of the video will involve a 2 minute long bit where the movie disc and/or box starts "teleporting" around to wherever the reviewer is while they are doing things throughout the day, never leaving them alone, eventually forcing them to review it to break the curse or whatever. There will be a bit where they want to watch a movie they like, but when they open the disc, they find that the disc in the box is for the movie that is being reviewed.

[@ralphintheshadowrealm7002]

@@quagstar Crossover episode starts with the guest cutting into the feed and they act like they hate one another and start talking about individual character continuities you don’t know about or care about because you just want to see a critique of the given movie

[@quagstar]

@@ralphintheshadowrealm7002 If its a Halloween special then the last 5 minutes of the video will involve the lights going out, the reviewer looking confused, and then the events of the movie they were reviewing will happen to them, but with bad acting and poor special effects which completely ruin any sort of immersion. At this point you've already seen the review, so you click on another video

[@ralphintheshadowrealm7002]

@@quagstar don’t forget about once they give their final thoughts they shoot/throw/destroy the film in some over the top manner

[@shettywap]

This reminds me of that Ralph dude and your movies suck. Striking a balance between slightly uninterested/can't be arsed, while clearly being arsed enough to make a long video about it. Also.....Ralph and those dumb ass skits.

[@playversetv3877]

its how we know what they are about to say is sooo mindblowing and thought provoking

[@SilverSlugs16]

Don’t know why but that pour and sip they do with their coffee or water or whatever just makes me violent

[@SubterrelProspector]

When he took a breath and said "Capitalism", I felt that.

[@ThiccPapi]

same here

[@Aka.Aka.]

Is this an essay wherein the movie Cars is dissected as a representation of class struggle?!

[@alZiiHardstylez]

The video description was the cherry on top to an absolutely perfect 18 seconds. Top tier, mate.

[@lography6917]

Only 400 views away from 1 million. Imma keep refreshing

[@PaytonSwan]

Extremely interested to hear your thoughts on the blatant capitalistic ideologies promoted in Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide.

[@ffwast]

That sounds stupid,but I'm intrigued

[@dhess34]

r/deepcuts

[@ryanharris6850]

Coconut head was a venture capitalist

[@averysunnyday]

You forgot to add the part where the essayist starts out with an event or thing that seems totally unrelated and says, "I swear this is going somewhere." (I love a good video essay but they really can be formulaic)

[@jesterssketchbook]

sTiCk WiTh mE

[@mermaidismyname]

The thing is that's 100% how my brain works I'm just like let me connect five disconnected things I swear this makes sense I promise

[@Desiray77]

They always think they’re so deep and thoughtful istg

[@nathancarter8239]

Well-spoken and researched, very nice!

[@AndrewsWizardlyReads]

That drink was so strong the camera instantly passed out.

[@stefanhines6560]

"Well, you people that I will probably never meet are making me talk about this subject. That's why I spent hours, days, or even weeks researching it because I hate it."

[@bluemonster4894]

I totally geeked out when I noticed your book collection. The Wheel of Time is amazing.

[@queencleopatra007]

Dude said one word and was still able to spark arguments in the comment section. That's impressive 👏🏾

[@Ascertivus]

My favorite part about this is that the channel’s name is “Man Carrying Thing” and that’s _exactly_ what almost everyone does when entering the frame during a video essay.

[@inafridge8573]

I wonder if it would be awkward if they came into frame with nothing in their hands and we would feel like "something's off here but I can't put my finger on it". what would they do with their hands? dangle them at their sides, fold them together? i reckon there's good reason why they do it

[@Ascertivus]

@@inafridge8573 That’s a good point; I never thought of that! Not only might it be most fitting, but many other creators do the same-likely due to your reasoning-so merely seeing nothing in-hand for once after watching others carry things in would likely be bizarre. Fascinating.

[@mmmmmmmmmmmmfood]

"Established bad thing is bad, now let me talk about it for 1 hour without proposing any solutions"

[@Nightman221k]

Almost always these videos meander without finding a coherent point or thesis despite trying desperately to be in a loose essay format.

[@anerrorhasoccurred8727]

“I’m going to talk about fringe Internet politics the whole time. What do they have to do with the topic, you ask? Good question. I’m sure as hell not gonna answer it.”

[@NocturnalNick]

"I just know this isn't talked about nearly enough" (millionth video essay about topic perpetually in news headlines)

[@js686]

Basically "Second thought"

[@Dolphins_are_our_Overlords]

Socialism. Here you go ☝🏽✌🏽

[@MoguMogu818]

Can’t believe Soongebob was a critique on American consumerism, individualism, and a warning for post-modern capitalist society we approach.

[@mogo-wc7xw]

there's a massive reddit post i think you may enjoy

[@Nekroido]

"Without further adieu, let's dive in. But first..."