Why I Finally Decided to Get on Adderall at 33 | My ADHD Story

[@MimiMoments]

Recently started taking Adderall. Game changer. Most ppl in my life don’t believe/respect my decision but I know how much ADHD has effected my life despite how much I’ve achieved. I relate to this video SO much. Thank you for your transparency.

[@sarapocorn]

I really appreciate your comment, especially the „despite what I‘ve achieved“. I am continuously gaslighting myself because of the „I managed to get a Master‘s, it can‘t be that bad“. But writing that thesis left me paralysed and waking up with stomachaches, staring at a blank screen for the better part of two years, only to then type out a half-assed hundred pages in a month and falling into a deep hole for months after I handed in. It‘s funny how easy it is to think „Everyone deserves the help they need! - except me :)“. Thank your for making things clearer for me!

[@mcsaism]

I appreciate your comment as well. I’ve considered getting onto Adderall and I realize I’m letting in so many opinions I don’t actually need. I know exactly how much I’ve suffered because of ADHD and not knowing I had it for so long (diagnosed last year at 22) and I need to just do what will help ME

[@smilergal89]

@@sarapocorn this was me. I pulled half my hair out writing that dissertation. Despite it all my brain is often fried and I am struggling

[@sarapocorn]

@@smilergal89 I am so sorry you also had to go through this. It only gets worse if the people around you tell you "you're so smart, why are you struggling? Literally just sit down and write - what's the problem" and the only thing you can respond is "I can't". Truly truly truly frustrating. I'd like to say I have figured it out now, but I haven't.

[@leehalloway8787]

@@sarapocorn My bachelor's thesis took everything I had and then some. The master's thesis is the only thing keeping me from pursing a master's degree. I don't know if I can do another thesis. It takes so much energy for me to achieve 'normality', I've really been considering medication. Then, maybe a master's degree would be more attainable.

[@dcardoso3342]

I was diagnosed with ADHD last month and you described my life. Much love to all the neurodivergent black girls out there :)

[@kimeikoraevision5446]

#bless! 🙏👋🤗

[@whatdoyoulivefor735]

🤔Black girls only🚫 lmao

[@kiairaelliott7817]

same, i feel so seen 🥺

[@simsthre4078]

Are you on medication? How you finding it?

[@Aesthes__]

NBC w

[@emel3925]

The online shopping thing is so relatable 😂😂😂 It's actually convenient because I save SO much money, because I'll start shopping and just get overwhelmed halfway through and give up without actually buying anything 💀

[@almi0316]

I spend that cash. I walk away with lingerie, tech gadgets, kids’ toys, pets, you name it. 😂

[@msbrit5178]

I’m like that with text messages too.

[@trent_king]

I thought that was what the cart was for.. but the more i thought about it, idk too many people who need multiple days to shop on Amazon besides me😂😂😂

[@easibreezietreecie]

Girl same 🤷🏾‍♀️🙋🏾‍♀️

[@natalieknight8695]

🤣🤣🤣

[@aquaabundance4077]

Fellow ADHD babes, who is scrolling through the comments and reading while Kim tells her story? Lol. As a fellow Kim, I feel like we are kindred spirits, lady. Keep shining!

[@DivineSoulAngel]

I feel seen lol started scrolling down the comments as soon as the video started 😂

[@khdijah93]

How u know 😂

[@ayantuinthenow]

Oh girl! I was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago and got on meds for ADHD, depression and generalized anxiety disorder around the same time because it was a time in my life when everything was hitting the fan. I was initially super resistant to going on meds and I really thought I couldn’t possibly need meds because, like you, I did so well in school. And the whole, being praised for doing well and no one realizing that you’re completely killing yourself is so real! I had so much anxiety as a teen, that I was literally having heart palpitations. Anyway shortly after my diagnosis, when things got insane with everything that can possibly go wrong, going wrong, I was willing to do anything to not be so overwhelmed and messed up. And after multiple conversations with my therapist, I realized that I’ve been implementing coping mechanisms all my life and they just weren’t enough anymore. I had a moment when I realized it’s not supposed to be this hard! When I finally got on meds, it made all the difference especially with the anxiety and depression. The ADHD is still hard. The meds certainly help a lot but I still have to implement the coping mechanisms. My current job requires a lot of focus and concentration which is impossible for me so it means I work really long hours to get my work done. It’s a struggle but luckily I enjoy my job…for now at least. Thanks for sharing your story though. It’s so important for people (particularly black women) to share their stories because it can be such a culturally isolating experience. We’re often told that adhd and mental health challenges are just “white nonsense.” Thank you ❤️

[@squirrelsinmykoolaid]

Girl! Why did you just tell what led to my diagnosis verbatim?😭😭 The only difference is my work was grad school. Sending you all the good energy and hoping your work-life balance stays stable and healthy!

[@easibreezietreecie]

Whoa, this is my story almost verbatim, except I just agreed to meds. I'm looking forward to a different life with medication.

[@charltom4053]

Just fast and detox the gut amd u will heal from any disease

[@ayanomar1408]

I feel like I am on the same trajectory as your life, except i feel like everything is hitting the fan right now

[@thoughtprocess8730]

Thank you for your post 🙏🏽

[@nonah7675]

I empathize completely. I went through a year in my life where I threw out TWO SETS OF DISHES because I couldn't keep up with washing them. Pots and pans included! Ate takeout for a few months until the extra stress in my life subsided and I could maintain routines again. The shame I felt from not being able to have friends over like a "normal person" because of the mess killed me.

[@mamat1213]

Omfg. I literally got rid of most of the dishes just for this reason. And also never able to have visitors, having tons to declutter or organize and just getting too overwhelmed to start, not even being able to have service people over bc it was soooo messy and cluttered💔

[@nonah7675]

@@mamat1213 People don't realize how expensive untreated adhd really is. I see you, I am you lol. Sometimes having a blank slate to release yourself from freeze mode is worth the financial cost. Not always, but sometimes.

[@kate56ful]

Omg I've been eating nothing but take outs everyday for the past two months. 1) Cus i hate doing dishes 2) Cooking has become too much of a hassle for me now that I have a fulltime job. There's plastic containers everywhere now. And I feel bad about throwing them out because of how bad they are for the environment. I keep the ones I can reuse but it takes me 3 weeks to manually wash them.

[@JonathanESmithOfficial]

You described this so well. My friends never understood why they couldn't come over. The messiness is so embarrassing sometimes.

[@MS-tt7df]

This is literally me 😭😭😭 But it's so difficult to get diagnosed

[@M00PSY]

As a mixed-race, Black woman who has autism, ADHD, OCD, & C-PTSD, I’m so glad you’re going more in depth about your ADHD journey! We NEED more neurodivergent, women of color (especially Black women) speaking out about our experiences, since sadly, we’re often left out of the conversation when it comes to autism, ADHD, &/or OCD! Especially when it comes to representation in the media!

[@anwaruhuru1887]

Preach!!!!

[@2centsuncensored672]

You're a walking bulletin board of Overcomer! Just by you being able to communicate this comment confirms you're continuing to pursue solutions & not giving up. I dunno if you're a Believer, but I submitted a prayer of solutions for you to be victorious in the midst of your challenges.

[@tlowery2074]

@@2centsuncensored672 hi! Fellow autistic person here. Being autistic isn’t really about overcoming or “solving” - it’s about accommodating your own needs. And lots of autistic folks are fully capable of communicating their thoughts, ideas, and experiences.

[@jcjcviews]

I would encourage people to give some thought to the idea of the use of mixed-race as a form of identity. Why? Because the concept of race means that there are groups of people who are inextricably separated one from the other. If this is the case, there is no actual mixing along these lines. One is black, for example, or one is not. What I guess a person means to say is that culturally they wish to define themselves both as black and white in such a society based upon racism white supremacy. Nevertheless, there is no real value in claiming one is half black or half yellow or red, so why mention it? In the case of blacks, the black race means the struggle against racism white supremacy to abolish it. A self-defined mixed-race person means that one's race does not matter and no struggle needs to take place. But then again this cannot be true. No race can be equal to the so-called white race since all other races are subordinate to the white one, since the white race, as defined, is supreme. Races, in other words, cannot coexist in one body. Given how race is actually defined in point of fact such a thing wouldn't be possible.

[@sb1206]

@@jcjcviews why come on here and argue with someone about their identify when they’re talking about their mental health? Why is it your business?

[@HalimaSJW]

When i saw you tweet about it i literally called my psych cause i can’t keep living that way. I got Vyvanse and I’m so damn happy. Tears of joy happy. Thank you for being open you helped a 26 year old get help early ❤️❤️❤️ remember that one time you paid my rent too??! I have a job now!! And health insurance !! Love you Kim!

[@DosesOfZia]

It’s real and very relatable. I have a close family member that can get A’s in honors/AP classes but can’t keep their room clean, etc. ADHD affects many in our community.

[@nonkululekomtolo1994]

This was so needed . I was diagnosed last year at 31. Underachieved in primary school, miraculously excelled in high school, crashed and burned in university but still flew under the radar with one of my parents working in the mental health industry :( thank you for sharing Kim.

[@tshepangbosilong3395]

May I ask about how you went about getting a diagnosis? I have a friend with ADHD and he has advised me to go speak to a professional because I exhibit a lot of the behaviours, but my mother (even she says I have ADHD) is against me seeking professional help or getting medication.

[@nonkululekomtolo1994]

My medical aid thankfully has a mental health benefit. So I booked an appointment with a psychiatrist via Ingress Health they have an option to have a session online via zoom. I chose them because I wanted a black psychiatrist so I could feel safe enough to share my struggles. He takes can manage all ages but specializes in kids and Adolescents. The main challenge for me was having to courier prescriptions to my adress from their practice in Cape town - meds are pricey enough 😒. If you do get the diagnosis and a prescription, your local gp may be able to continue scripts for you. Let me know if you need more info 😊.

[@nadilove6897]

I feel this. I’m 28 and I’m so nervous to get diagnosed. I’ve taken many tests and have a friend that is a counselor and she and all the tests said I should go to the drs to get fully diagnosed bcuz she thinks clear I have adhd. She’s know me for years) I can manage to pass through as average or regular and now I’m feeling all of the adult hood and how my brain simply feels like it’s tooo much. Sometimes I can’t just get out of my 1 spot knowing I have so much todo. Also I have the anxiety and avoidance but my avoidance is like on 1000. To the point where my brakes needed fixing but I avoided it so much they went out and I couldn’t stop 1 day. SMH makes me feel better to know ppl are still figuring it out after adolescence

[@nonkululekomtolo1994]

@@nadilove6897 I totally get it. Especially the avoidance part and the procrastination! I feel so silly a lot of the time coz I spend more time 'stuck' than actually doing the thing. I 100% recommend taking steps to get an appointment (people don't get just how hard it is just to do that). We've suffered for too long, no need to prolong it any further.

[@nadilove6897]

@@nonkululekomtolo1994 u too right. And yes that stuck feeling then boom it’s been 3 hrs. I’m definitely gonna get it together. Love that Kim’s channel is filled with ppl who get it and aren’t terrible. Thanks alot

[@jelissasmith6971]

I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 27. Never would’ve thought I had ADHD but it makes so much sense

[@Fae313]

Same!! I never thought I had it either, but after the diagnosis I was like "ohhhhh 💡 it all makes sense now"

[@darkmoonbeauty]

Wow Kim. When you started talking about the way your parents shamed you I started having flashbacks. My parents constantly shamed me for being “nasty”, “lazy”, “disorganized” etc. and I’ll be honest I’m still hurt by that. I was trying so hard & it felt like they were judging but not attempting to understand why I was that way. I still hold a grudge to this day about that, but hearing that you’ve forgiven your parents gives me hope that one day I’ll be able to forgive mine.

[@Brooklyn79h]

I am 25 and recently started taking Adderall. I’ve always struggled with attentiveness and avoidance. Yet, I really started to notice it while matriculating for my undergrad. Now that I am working in my career field and enrolled in a MBA program. I started to notice that doing the bare minimum, as I always had in the past, just wasn’t working for me anymore. Abruptly adopting a deep disinterest in a class, a job, or even a relationship started leading to debilitating anxiety and dark depression. Resigning from a job, anxiously looking for another job, then being depressed when it is taking too long to find another job started to become a never ending cycle. Not to mention the disdain I started to develop toward myself for all the self sabotaging behaviors. I never get fired from jobs and I’m a great student. I just always tap out. This is just a small depiction of how ADHD is/was the root of so much turmoil in my life.

[@tlowery2074]

Same. It too finally being medicated to have the confidence I won’t need to flee jobs the way I always have before breaking the cycle. Happy to be here now :)

[@fini5294]

God that reminds me so much of the state I used to be in. It’s hard to know how to challenge yourself in a good way, I’m still trying to figure it out.

[@nehemie1255]

Okay, I feel read down! Currently on the job search taking too long phase again. Having to alter myresume to not look like a flight risk. High acieving but very burnt out after grad school and then covid hit! boom!

[@2centsuncensored672]

Thank you for sharing this comment because you truly just expressed my recent 8 years in a nutshell. I was an overachiever as a younger me & could complete tasks perfectly with little effort. Then, I turned 26 and my usual attentiveness turned into laziness & avoidance. I literally disconnected out of fear of exhaustion in my best & most enjoyable interests: socializing, OCD cleaning, career goal achieving, multi-tasking. I literally avoid all of these things now, but it's not because I don't want to; I mentally crash out

[@Ohaiii344]

@@2centsuncensored672 wow- I relate to both of your responses. Years of avoiding my diagnosis boiled down to me just being burnt out. I think I was 27 when I felt the “why is it so much work to just be me”, I feel like I lost my 20’s to adhd and I honestly can’t stand a victim mentality but now that I’m in my 30’s I feel like I’m in a race to catch up. It’s a race between me and myself though bc everyone has something going on with themselves

[@SlytherinShark888]

When you mentioned your thought process for writing, your experience with cookies and sugar cravings, and how people thought you were dumb growing up because you had trouble with the simplest things I almost cried. I’m realizing that I likely also have ADHD and this makes sooooo much sense. My tendency to ramble, my trouble with food, the bad driving, the trouble with sitting down at a desk and getting work done without getting off track ten times in an hour. This is my lived experience. Thank you for sharing your story. I think part of why I hadn’t considered this for myself is that I haven’t seen someone like me talk about having ADHD before. Representation is so important. I’m literally writing this at near 2 in the morning due to my insomnia related to work anxiety. I’m reaching out to someone today.

[@Fae313]

❤️🥲❤️ wishing you all the best!! You’re not alone

[@2centsuncensored672]

You're among many who look like you with more similarities than differences.

[@aquaabundance4077]

Aww. Chris, I can totally relate. As a long time insomnia sufferer, I tried all the tricks in the book - counting sheep (as a kid), progressive muscle relaxation, listening to water sounds, listening to white nose, keeping my room warm, keeping my room cool, trying to end screen time early - none of it really worked because my mind kept racing, kept ruminating. It's so sad that all we need is a simple pill to have a normal life and that has been missed by so many health and educational professionals in our lives 😥

[@SlytherinShark888]

@@aquaabundance4077 very true

[@SlytherinShark888]

@@2centsuncensored672 I’m discovering that many of the folks I gravitate towards in my life also have ADHD.

[@AlwaysAmeera]

I am literally in the thick of a breakdown right now and some of your experiences really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing! This was helpful. And congrats Kim!!! 🎉🍾

[@trilobite-knight7746]

Genuinely, good luck

[@millpill8793]

Good luck on your journey

[@2centsuncensored672]

Go through the breakdown so you won't have to repeat it and remember EVERYONE has an ISSUE, they just don't show it. You got this & I pray you reach the end of your breakdown & look back upon it as an eye opener to get a solution for future purposes

[@miriamromero2995]

As an elementary school teacher, thank u for sharing this. As u are speaking I am thinking of certain children over the years. I'm going to try even harder to meet the needs of those kids, so they can be more successful and feel better about themselves💗

[@fini5294]

I spent my childhood being yelled at by teachers and parents for not getting things right and then my twenties with trying to meet a toxic standard of organization I could just never achieve. Please understand that I’ve never met an ADHD kid who was able but unwilling. Maybe unwilling and unable but as soon as we know how to do something we’re going to show off because we’re just so starved when it comes to praise. When we’re scared enough the temporary adrenaline will allow us to do things we wouldn’t be able to do but that’s literally our fight or flight response in action so adults just teach us anxiety when they yell at us. It’s so toxic and I am convinced it destroys lives.

[@fini5294]

@@mel...s no but they’re the ones who spend time with the kids when their symptoms show up the most so they are often the first ones to notice if they’re sensitive and educated.

[@IshtarNike]

@@mel...s you kind of showed that your issue is with medication. Fair enough, no question, the system "creates ADHD" by the fact that it requires calmly sitting in place listening and doing activities a certain way. But if you're not doing a wholesale abolitionist take on education, then no it's not the lesson plan or the environment because those don't change that much. ADHD is a thing (given the society and system we live in, whether or not you want medication or not).

[@sheltertwo7957]

@@mel...s Nope but they sure can spot the symptoms. My daughter was diagnosed by our family doctor & without even informing her teacher, she recognized it & brought it up to me. These people spend a lot of time with our kids so I’d be more concerned if they didn’t notice. It’s comforting knowing the other adult in their life is looking out for them.

[@cannibalisticrequiem]

@@mel...s Did you even watch the video or pay attention??? You know you'd think with a video like this, people coming here would be open to listen and learn, and to be understanding of someone else's struggles, not being flippant and dismissing what they're saying because, "Well I've already made my own opinions about this thing, so I don't need to listen to you because I've already decided that *I'm* right and _you're_ wrong!" Not only is that rude, it's extremely ignorant. Kim stated that _that_ kind of fear-mongering isn't welcome here, and I'm guessing that it not only applies to her, but to her viewers using this video as a safe space to discuss their stories and experiences with being ADHD. This pill-shaming masquerading as "concern" is *not* appreciated or wanted.

[@stoldbyJ]

The grief period when you finally get treated for ADHD is so real. I’m so glad you have the resources to help to make your life easier :)

[@renato6712]

"I'm really good at catastrophizing" got me

[@cuac5869]

I'm exploring every possible avenue for catastrophe, but not for success. LOL

[@m0mmy2aStar]

"Scattered Minds" is a good read for those who have ADHD or suspect that they might have it!

[@ckantrel1977]

I call it a Super Power!!! I’m on my SP Ayyyyyyyy😜🤪

[@glossygrape620]

I recently decided to stop taking Adderall after 1.5 years on the medication. It can be so helpful, but please be aware it's not a panacea. Remember to stay hydrated and eat, even though you won't really have to urge to do so. I became deficient in several vitamins within months of starting adderall. Also, watch for the crashes. At first they were not so noticeable, but overtime they became too much for me to deal with and I felt depressed while not on it. It really messed with my mood like I couldn't generate my own dopamine without it. I feel much happier and mentally stable not taking adderall.

[@DancingDeity]

I had similar side effects with Adderall. I also found that it made me very talkative (like, interrupting conversations talkative) and sensitive to stimuli, it's as though it amplified my ADHD. Getting off of Adderall was sooo hard.

[@Heyu7her3]

There are other meds as well

[@willwowxdrice642]

We’re you also on a anti-depressant ??? Or just adderall??

[@tiahardy31715]

That is one thing , I did from the start is the make sure my nutrition and exercise were still up to par. There are days where I don't take if I don't have a lot to do. I call those my relaxation days, where I just let my brain rest overall.

[@ambergoode6617]

Super late, but I’m glad my Psych recommended just taking it a few days a week. I also take Wellbutrin to help with dopamine and to counter the drop off from the stimulant. I actually started Wellbutrin first.

[@rosaswan2323]

Kim, I’ve watched For Harriet for years and I’ve always had so much admiration and respect for you. You are SUCH a powerful communicator and so hearing you get real about your challenges and diagnosis is a beautiful thing.

[@blaqgurl]

I wasn't diagnosed until I was 31. It was such a huge relief to know I wasn't a failure as a person. Adderall has helped me a lot. It's not a cure all but it has helped me along with behavior and environmental modifications.

[@gooseguse]

Sidenote: GIRL YOUR OUTFIT, HAIR, AND NATURAL BEAUTY IS GORGEOUS! Thank you for sharing this insightful experience.

[@MoniqueSoChix]

I am crying about this video. Kim this shit hit my spirit so hard. But mine is backwards. I clean and prepare myself to be productive then after I’m done I get anxiety about being projects and doing the steps to finish. I have horrible sleeping habits since a child. I might need to invest in therapy on a consistent basis after watching this. I’m so happy and thankful for you showing this Kim frfr.

[@UdoADHD]

I'm just seeing this but I am also 33 and on Adderral. Here is a pro-tip (that may not apply to everyone). Stimulants have a tendency to deplete your magnesium stores faster. Taking magensium at night can help to get sleep at night and replenish your stores so the Adderrall can work even better the next day.

[@KimberlyNicoleFoster89]

Oh thanks!

[@sophia_megan]

The part where your voice broke when you said "I'm not lying" ... I felt that pain.

[@moustik31]

Me too. 😕

[@squirrelsinmykoolaid]

I also just want to say seeking treatment for ADHD literally saves lives. Untreated ADHD shaves like 9-12 years of your life expectancy. ADHD is one of the MOST treatable neurodevelopmental disabilities. Medication and therapy or coaching is proven to be effective. Do your research whatever route you choose, but don't feel ashamed if you decided meds are right for you! ADHD affects every part of life. You deserve to take care of yourself. The mind IS a part of the body! 💙💙

[@samanthabruner5610]

Your so real for this. I watch Cleantok obsessively. I need the cleaning motivation or I can’t get my brain to recognize it as a priority.

[@datstrue]

I cannot express to you enough how much your story parallels my life. More people need to hear & see this. I NEEDED THIS RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT

[@jokin245]

Omg “failing as a girl” 😭… no one around me takes ADHD seriously as a diagnosis, so in their eyes I am constantly failing which is so hard to not internalize. I am trying my best lol but to them I am a glorified sack of potatoes sometimes. It truly is a never ending cycle of disappointment it seems. I also want to be responsible however and not use it as an excuse but that line gets blurry. Also don’t get me started on everyone and their mama saying “we all have a little adhd” or belittling it when they haven’t sought out a diagnosis. I’m over it lol I don’t comment ever, but I feel seen so thank you!

[@LoquaciousPint]

I'll be 33 in a few days and i was diagnosed when i was in middle school. My entire adult life, trying to receive medication and therapy has been years of gaslighting. I recently found a provider who has listened to my concerns and i am so grateful.. after years of hearing doctors tell me i don't have ADHD because i am "so intelligent and high functioning" has been so discouraging but i didn't give up on myself! Those indicators of me living with this disability are not evidence that it doesn't exist for me. They are the result of decades of learning to survive with it. I am happy to hear that you have found treatment that suits you and makes you feel an improved quality of life. I hope that for all of us

[@petalchild]

I feel this so hard

[@cannibalisticrequiem]

I don't have ADHD but clinical depression, and WHEW! Not receiving a proper diagnosis and getting medicated until I was 30 because I was gaslit from age 11 well into adulthood, *really* hit hard! 😩 I heard CONSTANTLY from my parents, from teachers, from doctors when I was from 18 to 25 "You couldn't have depression, you're too young! What do *you* have to be depressed about?? You have it good/easy! Just exercise, eat healthy, be well rested and you'll be fine! It's probably just your thyroid! And if it's not that, if you just lose that weight, you'd be a lot happier!" It felt like I was slamming my head against a wall with just how aggressively the adults around me tried denying that there was anything wrong with me, and that I was just "exaggerating" or "making up stories for attention" (my parents and teachers would throw out the latter comment at me all the time)! Hell even the people who were formerly my friends would tell me that I was "just being moody", "seeking attention" or "just copying" one _friend_ in particular (and she was the epitome of "attention seeking"; she would constantly lie and make up stories for sympathy-- for example she once lied about her mother being an abusive alcoholic, in junior high she came to school one morning with her forearms and wrists all cut up, which caused another friend to have a meltdown under the desks in Homeroom, and when confronted about it, the friend that did it giggled and said the other was "being melodramatic" and said that her cat had scratched up her arms but had told our friend it was self-harm to see how she'd react", and if this girl didn't get the attention she wanted, she'd bawl her eyes out and accuse everyone of hating her) because "I was a poser and wanted to be her so bad"... it was fucking awful being told that I was "being childish" or "acting out"/"being a spoiled brat" when I was in a very dark headspace, crying out for help, or being threatened with punishment for "trying to carve tattoos into my arms". It wasn't until I was 30 and tried to take my life (which my mother, who is extremely abusive, was threatening to call the cops on me and have me thrown in prison for because I had taken her opioids to try to accomplish, and her reaction was anger at me for "fucking her over" so she was all set to have me arrested for "stealing her medication"-- because her priorities fucking suck) and the new doctor I had just scheduled an appointment to see luckily came to my rescue after hearing me out and was like, "No. Clearly you have depression and have been dealing with it for a long time, we need to get you on an anti-depressant and into therapy because you _need_ *help*, not jail." At first I was on Fluoxetine/Prozac, which my abusive mother thought was great because "That's what all the Hollywood starlets take to help them lose weight! Now you'll finally lose that 100 pounds!" 😒 but it didn't help, so one new doctor later (the one I was seeing went to a different practice) I was on Wellbutrin and again I didn't notice any change, like the Prozac I felt like I was just taking a placebo. After being off it for a couple years because I had spiraled and broke down a few times, and one particular down-swing, I was locking myself in a bathroom stall at work every day to sit and cry, I went back to the second doctor, told her what was going on, and she was like, "Okay let's get you on Lexapro because that can help combat the weepiness." Oh my god! It was like night and day!! I experienced a complete change in my mood for the better! I wasn't breaking down in tears every day! I FINALLY felt "normal" for the first time in years! Honestly Lexapro has helped me so much, I'm kinda mad that this wasn't done years ago so I could've had a shot at a stable 20s!

[@kimeikoraevision5446]

Werk 👏👏👏

[@2centsuncensored672]

@HollowedJes I'm glad you found something to assist you in the midst of all the struggles you had to endure before getting it. Be sure to get an accountability partner if u don't have one because you must stay present in this world. Just think, you just shared something that can benefit someone else with the same experience.

[@underwaterseas]

I’m in my first year as a PhD student and it didn’t occur to me that ADHD could’ve been a likely diagnosis for me, until recently. “High-achieving” black women tend to fly under the radar when it comes to timely diagnosis. It’s time for me to taking it seriously and get screened for it. Thanks for sharing your experience.

[@ladylydbug]

That’s so real! I’m a first year phd too and it’s taught me so much about mental health and coping mechanisms

[@nizbet5707]

I finally got diagnosed while getting my second degree. Never considered it or suspected to have it as a child because I was so “high achieving”.

[@akacentric7354]

I struggled for years years in PhD managing undiagnosed ADHD. Beloveds it’s okay not to be okay. Trust me. It is a life saver. Love y’all!

[@AllIAm1]

Really tempted to get evaluated myself almost positive I’m adhd it makes my life like scratching nails on a chalkboard even though I get it done

[@LifebyChi]

Very true! I was just was diagnosed at 27 and only found out because of graduate school

[@nostalgiakid1077]

Firstly thank you so much for this vulernable space. Im so happy to hear you are managing and feeling more hopeful day to day in your personal life! Its always great to hear these stories. Im 25 Black/Native/white and Queer. So much of what you spoke of is exactly what i struggle with currently in my anxiety. I despise driving because I am terrified of EVERYTHING that could go wrong on the road. I do anything I can to avoid it if I have to. I don't like having others put too much responsibility on me not because Im lazy but because I get flustered and fuck up. I dont want to upset anyone. Recently I have been practicing something that has actually helped a little bit while im at work. I will repeat the words "focus" and "intention" to myself whenever I am doing a task because if not I will not be able to function at a higher level. It almost feels like everyone else's autopilot works flawlessly while mine has malfunctions. Some days I wake up with a rush of anxiety about things months away. Its hard but my loved ones and family have gotten better at understanding and working with me. Shit im even anxious about going to the doctor to see about medication because you gotta drive to get there lmao. Dating someone who also struggles with it has helped me realize im not useless. I can make things happen with the right support.

[@125loopy]

God I hate that I relate to this comment so much. I'm getting a little bit better with driving because I HEAVILY rely on Google maps. My phone died once and I had to pull over and calm myself down before I attempted the 10 minute drive home. I work in Healthcare qnd I'm terrified of making mistakes so this was a terrible career choice. But I'm too terrified to change careers as well 🙃

[@2centsuncensored672]

@Nostalgia Kid- Your comment, "I don't like ppl depending on me because I'm lazy & will screw up" really resonated with me. I was told it's not lazy, it's the need for perfection that drives us away from attempting such tasks.

[@AIRHEAD591]

Hey Kim, I’ve been on Adderall Extended release 15mg since 2016 and at 42:12 you mention having to constantly up the dose to maintain the same level of effectiveness. What my therapist suggest that I suggest for you is drug holidays. When you know what you aren’t as busy or have the capacity to take a break. Don’t take your adderall just for a day or two. Then when take it again, it’s gonna HIT like It did the first time. It may take a while to feel comfortable not taking it for a day because of how well it’s working but I’m my experience it’s worked great. When I upped my dosage i started to feel “robotic” and emotionless and made it difficult to be “human” with my loved ones. I’d honestly love to tel you about my whole experience to share my knowledge to you so you can learn about what happened to me to take certain shortcuts because you’ve inspired me so much and that you’ve opened up about that makes you that much more amazing to me.

[@famuns]

I was just about to comment about the drug holiday. You could even skip the weekend if you only work during the week.

[@R88925]

I second this!

[@pdpUU]

I’ll third it, this works great for me. I find my mind connects the dots more organically on those days, and I appreciate my natural thinking style. Then, I can take that and put it into action when I restart meds.

[@shainahuntsberry6758]

I do this too! Generally I don’t take meds during the weekend (my off work days). I do find that extended release adderall is more effective for me than instant release. IR kind of makes me feel anxious and robotic while ER has more of of a calming/clarity of thought effect.

[@AIRHEAD591]

@@pdpUU yes! Being appreciative of your “natural thinking” is what I had to learn to do. I felt so inept without my adderall after taking it for so long that i began to feel a dependency even close to an addiction to feeling good, prepared, “smart enough” I would feel that “if I do not take this adderall I’m not going to be effective and I MUST be effective”. So slowly winging yourself and being appreciative of the way you typically function, to me is most important to not cross the line of becoming addicted. I appreciate you for sharing this!

[@nyemahc8339]

It took me a while to click this video because I was afraid I would be able to relate. I finally found the bravery to watch and I am watching with a full face of tears. I completely relate to each of your symptoms or “quirks”. Your stories are identical to mine and I have so many emotions behind this. I’ve yet to speak to a doctor but I know I should. I’ve been able to find ways to cope through some of these symptoms but others are starting to ruin me and lead me into a dark place. But your story makes me feel seen and I really needed this. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I wish you the best on your journey of coping, healing and soothing yourself through this. 🌻

[@SunseedStarchild]

Your adhd and mine reflect each other. I was burnt out by the time i got into college; my spatial awareness is trash; i can't find the things EVERYONE ELSE can see; out of sight out of kind defines me. The list goes on. Still don't want to tell family cause nothing i say is taken seriously and its easier to assume i'm lazy and dumb. Its frustrating, relieving, and frustrating again to know there's a reason why for all this, but few people care enough to understand (especially family).

[@geocyo8835]

Grown man. Seven years on you. Much less successful in life. This is making me tear up. Never able to multi-task. Believe it's not a real thing. I need to get a scrip like yesterday. I'm tired of this mediocrity and inability to focus.

[@aquaabundance4077]

Big hugs! Wishing you the best on your journey.

[@sandragon20]

I’m a quiet watcher, but you talking about your child/teenage years really hit home for me. I was always a very good student because I grew up in an immigrant Puerto Rican household who held good grades over my head. That anxiety is what led me to be an overachieving kid. I started suspecting I had ADHD last year, and when I brought it up to my therapist and coworkers they all were essentially like “no shit.” It’s still a struggle every day, and it’s an internal debate whether or not I want to go on medication. Thank you so much for sharing your story, it means a lot

[@GloballyGorgeous715]

Ugh the grief for all the time you missed without medication?! I was RESENTFUL for a whole year. I was tired and I still felt so useless and stupid when it turns out I just needed some coping skills and the right dosage. I’m still working through that grief to this day.

[@trilobite-knight7746]

I resonated with this SO MUCH & was crying throughout tbh... Thank you for being open. The cleaning stuff can feel so shameful (especially if you've been shamed for it as a kid) & I've never heard anyone actually talk about it candidly. I also have horrible spatial awareness & didn't realize there was a connection to my ADHD there, so again, big thanks

[@carolynclaybrooks8635]

When I was 25 I was perscribed Adderall too late and ended up having to quit grad school. My grades were good, but I had so much anxiety trying to keep up and still missed things that my peers seemed to get. I also feel like my ADHD has gotten in the way of past relationships. Now at 30 I'm getting on Vyvanse and I feel like I can actually attend to tasks.

[@lagatitabruja]

Your story resonates SO HARD with me. I’m 35 and finally made the decision to try adderall. Thank you for making this video

[@maddie4w]

Thank you for sharing this! I spent the entire video yelling “OMG that’s me!!” In Canada just getting a diagnosis for ADHD is hard, especially as a girl- there was this thought that girls don’t usually have ADHD, they have anxiety disorders. So I was diagnosed with that instead and I’ve been on anxiety meds ever since. At first I was scared of it too, but I had the same epiphany of being like “…. I don’t want to live like that anymore.” This year I finally got my ADHD diagnosis. I was pregnant at the time so I couldn’t go on meds, but I’m going to try them once my baby is on solid food. I’m really hoping to be able to methodically be able to just do stuff exactly like you said! Like…. You mean people just move on to the next task naturally with no transition time after EVERY TASK? What the hell is that?! 😂 Thanks so much for sharing. You made me feel so validated.

[@babykelis2]

I was always drawn to your content on "For Harriet" because I felt your brain made connections similar to how mine does. After listening to this, I'm going to finally go see the specialist because... so much of this is me. I've always known things were harder for me despite all I've accomplished. It's time for me to be okay with seeking help. Thank you for sharing with us *grateful tears*

[@BlameItOnMercury]

6:27 Bless you honey. I'm the same way. I JUST finally decided to take the step to get on medication for my Major Depression and Severe Anxiety exactly 7 days ago. I'm 7 days into my medication, praying I can finally recieve some quality of life through this treatment. I have a 6 month old son, I can't let him see me so down and out. I can't let him live in a dirty home. I'm trying. And I'm praying these meds give me the strength to push through. My son deserves at least that much.

[@suhseal]

I finally started adderall at age 40 in 2020 when the pandemic and lockdown took away all my normal behavioral conditioning tools I had set up my entire life. Love your energy. :)

[@EWagner818]

This THIS THIS! Literally was diagnosed in January and prescribed adderall early February. I didn’t want to take it for 2 weeks. After grappling finally decided to take it. I have a very similar story to you. Faced a lot of the gender and race shame. My parents hammered in my head I had to be twice as good to half as much. I was expected to keep my space tidy. I was “triflin” if I didn’t. Whew this video is legit everything I struggled with. I just honestly thought I was dumb, not as worthy, and just all around deficient for a long time because I couldn’t do what was expected of me. Whew!

[@quartz9702]

Did u finally take it

[@offbeatttt_]

Thank you so so sooo much! I said the same thing on your hoarding video, but I’m truly grateful for your transparency. I found out about my ADHD thanks to the pandemic. I was just like you as a kid. I was in gifted classes, multi-talented, and a very high achiever. But I couldn’t keep up with things or get the ‘easy’ stuff done. I always dealt with the depression and anxiety. But it became debilitating toward the end of college and I couldn’t figure out why. At first I thought I had thyroid issues. Fast forward a few years, job changes, mental breakdowns…the lightbulb went off for me during quarantine. Literally days before my 25th birthday…. now that’s a quarter life crisis for yo ass LMAO. I went through the process of finding a psychiatrist, continuing therapy, and eventually trying medication. I started with Vyvanse and hated it. Then I landed on adderall (welcome to the club! Lol) My life has SIGNIFICANTLY improved. I always tell people that it felt like my brain had glasses on after I first tried it. I still have things I have to work on such as the stigma and other behavioral things. But I’m so much better for it. Now I’m currently thinking about getting an ADHD coach. If you haven’t, I suggest looking into the Black Girl, Lost Keys blog and the How To ADHD channel here on KZbin. The ADHD Reddit has also been so helpful. They’ve been so important for my journey. Thanks again for making a space for us to discuss and learn. I’m forever grateful! ❤️

[@nerdygurl96]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m literally crying watching this video because I finally feel so seen. I’m so glad you explained how you struggled throughout school and how difficult it was for you to complete long form assignments. My family and teachers would always tell me I was smart and could never understand why I procrastinated on all of my homework assignments or why I simply wouldn’t do them. When I got to college ofc things only got worse and I ended up dropping out of three different universities lol All in all, thank you for sharing your experiences and being so honest. I’m happy you’ve found something that works for you! :)

[@nerdygurl96]

@Jainoir Richardson I definitely understand. Whatever you decide to do, just know there’s no shame in doing what’s best for you and your mental health.

[@iguana7050]

This is the most relatable adhd video I've seen and I think it's because of the cultural differences. Most of the adhd pages and channels are not from the poc perspective. I almost thought, aww maybe I don't have it bc I don't check ALL of those boxes exactly but I literally feel so much more validated after watching your video. I relate to literally everything you've mentioned it's crazy! Including falling asleep without finishing candy😅

[@naas294]

Wow this is super eye opening. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized how much shame I had been carrying for not being able to keep track of simple tasks, the comments from teachers and adults in my life that I was an airhead or maybe something was wrong with me, or I was a “dirty” girl. Thank you for articulating those feelings and experiences 💕

[@iamlisaevans]

I’m 28 and started Adderall last fall. It’s changed my life SO much combined with consistent exercise. I’m so thankful and no longer feel inadequate. Prayers for your journey 🙌🏾 Omg when you told the story about the mom asking her daughter to grab something and the daughter couldn’t get it. That was ME! I used to get in trouble for not being able to find things and I really would try. I would get called lazy so many times by my fam and it broke my self esteem as a child that I’m just now starting to build back. Thank you for sharing this.

[@Bomi640737]

Your story is sooooooo similar to mine. I got diagnosed with ADHD back in February and this is after years of depression, and anxiety due to the ADHD and all of the pressure from those around me. Childhood, eating, shopping, sleeping all of it. It makes me cry just thinking of all the years lost.

[@spaghettimac63]

I’m so excited to hear your story! I got diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 27 in Dec 2020 and I started meds in Jan 2021. Do not feel bad for doing what’s best for you. If taking meds help you manage everyday life, then use it. Taking Medication is wrong, just make sure that you monitor your health/ heart.!as it’s not abused. Thank you for sharing your story!

[@judlynewitit]

I’m looking forward to this video!! You’re “I got dragged on Twitter because I’m a hoarder” video resonated with me so much because I have and still go through the challenges you stated in your video and I went through a deep dive research and realized I too had ADHD. I then got evaluated by a psychiatrist and was medically diagnosed with ADHD. After months of being apprehensive about medication I finally started staterra about a week ago. You don’t understand how that video has changed the trajectory of my life and has given me so much clarity on how to navigate my life now as an adult. Ok , now I’m gonna hit play and watch this video 😂

[@Michaeleism]

Prepping little by little, has helped me manage my symptoms. It seems strange to others because of how early I start. I don't care. Because in "real" time, it adds up to regular processing time for everyone else just at a super early pace. If I pace myself early enough, in small bite sized ways in ( cleaning, cooking etc)I don't get overwhelmed. I can chip away at all the noise and nonsense at my pace and have everything ready and organized. I also started visualization and that helped everything become muscle memory, instead of spontaneous thought which used to be challenging and exhausting for me.

[@louiserobinson8770]

I have dyspraxia, ADHD.(Inattentive) I spent my life masking only showing up for others but never myself. I can’t finish anything I start. And I’m emotional as well as physically exhausted . I recently suffered a mental breakdown. Considering medication at 36 . Thank you everyone for sharing

[@PassaFloraElle]

Congrats on your ADHD journey, and thank you for sharing. Hearing others stories help me feel less alone in my experience. I hear you on cleaning your space, like…I get it get it. The executive dysfunction is real!! I tried Adderall for a month. It felt like wearing glasses for the first time, and WOW the way I cleaned my room was like nothing I ever experienced. Unfortunately the side effects I experienced (headaches and irritability during comedown) wasn’t worth the benefits long-term. I’ve recently started a new non-stimulant med (Guanfacine) to help my ADHD and anxiety. I was open to the benefits taking days/weeks but surprisingly I noticed a difference within the first few days. I’ve heard its a lesser known treatment to combat ADHD, but so far (1 week in) it’s been feeling great! So far I notice the tension in my body dissipates, my focus improves, and I’m still able to keep my space clean and do chores regularly. Like...being able to regularly do dishes after work is my new favorite accomplishment! I hope you find what helps you be the best you! Love and light ✨✨

[@snicole3610]

I felt "soft". The tension dissipates is an apt and concise description! Thank you.

[@arasharfa]

I am also on guanfacine. I think it's a good underprescribed medication

[@vnesje1981]

Thank you for sharing Kim! I got diagnosed two years ago I’m on Concerta myself and it helped me taking control of my life. Me now at 40 finally feels like I’m adulting properly. Concerta has changed my life for real! The ADHD (add) will always be there, but it is manageable now.

[@elisecccccccc]

I was late diagnosed adhd and I related to so much of what you said here! The negative messaging we receive as children is so negatively impactful and traumatic long term. I truly cannot imagine your experience as a black girl/now woman in terms of the orders of magnitude that would have been amplified for you. My heart goes out to baby Kim and all of the other black girls that have yet to be diagnosed. And then it’s still even hard once you’re diagnosed bc those buttons still get pushed even if you can give yourself grace and understand where people are not understanding your experience. My parents are 1st and 2nd gen immigrants but still really carry that identity heavily and this idea that we need to keep our heads down and do good work because we are Slavs was drilled into me from a really young age. I struggled to be able to even ask for help and felt so much shame around cleaning and being a “good woman” despite excelling academically and career wise (although that came a bit later for me). Also the looking for things and not seeing them thing!! I did not even know that was an ADHD thing but yes! My mom would always say if I go look and find it what will you give me? Lol Edit: also recently medicated. I had a lot of hesitation around medication and it took me a long time to give in. What finally made me give in was getting a 9-5. I felt like I was white knuckling through every day. The addiction risk to me is scary, but the statistics on early deaths caused by ADHD (like traffic deaths) are also very scary. And the way everything is actually just easier now and my career has sped up! Wtf!

[@jazminfrancesca463]

Revisiting this video after deciding to take medication for adhd…. I’ve achieved a lot in my life so people don’t understand how it has negatively impacts my relationship, home, and work 😞 grateful for the content 🙏🏾

[@caitlinb]

I've struggled my whole life with feeling "how can other people function so easily?" Can't keep organized, forget to X Y Z, procrastinate everything. Talked with my partner about possibly having ADHD and he said he's thought this too. Women don't get diagnosed as often because we can mask symptoms but have maladaptive coping. Thanks for sharing!

[@teeq7266]

Just as I'm about to question if perhaps I am ADHD here comes Kim with the info. When you mentioned the driving, I started tearing up. Living in NYC and not NEEDING a car was a convenient way of masking my inability to judge distances. Thank you for your information. Thank you for doing the heavy lifting. I hope it continues to help you.

[@cali6950]

So powerful! And Thank you. I'm not crying, you're crying!

[@squirrelsinmykoolaid]

Thank you for this! I was just dx a few months ago. I'm in my late 20s so finding out was a whirlwind. About a month after my dx and doing a lot of research I decided to start meds even tho ppl discouraged me not to. Best decision I couldve made for myself. How To ADHDs video about medication really helped dispel the myths and stigma around stimulant medication for me. My executive dysfunction is way more manageable and I'm not sending myself into a panic every time something is due. My mental health is in a way better place as well. I believe the depression and anxiety I was feeling was a byproduct of undiagnosed ADHD. I'm very happy to see more Black women sharing their experiences with this.

[@GeeSmith333]

This really hits home. Like I love learning, but I can't multi-task, organize, my interpersonal skills suck, everything was chaos around me. I can follow directions excellently but to come up with a system on my own, forget it. I'm kind of stuck, thank you for helping realize.

[@bernie4952]

This was so thorough and wonderfully told. Thank you for sharing.

[@AlbAy537]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS. I feel like I have lost most part of my life and feel guilty for ruining my daughter’s childhood. I think this video is the answer that I needed. THANK YOU THANK YOU 🙏

[@christybea5613]

thank you for this kim! I've loved your channel for such a long time, as a 21yr old black girl whose dealt with anxiety, depressive episodes and attention deficit issues this video is so so so comforting and validating. I spend a lot time feeling down because of my issues but this makes me feel better knowing that i'm not alone

[@SherriaJ]

This was equal parts informative and entertaining. Thank you for being so transparent. This is definitely going to help many people, black women in particular, who face such stigma around a taboo topic in our community. Also, glad you’re feeling better!

[@cuac5869]

I've watched this video multiple times and felt so seen with the stuff you were saying. I was always really good at school and I was obsessed with being good at it. But then you grow up and you start getting more things on your plate, and suddenly I was dropping everything, I couldn't pull myself together and I felt I was failing in life. I went from "you're gonna be so successful in the future" to "why can't you do this or that, it's so easy". Every time I thought I had dug myself out of the depression and anxiety hole I always ended up falling in again, then I realized maybe it's because of this. Easy life stuff stresses me out so much that it leaves me wondering if I'm incompetent. My mom especially would always shame me about this stuff, it left me feeling like I was never good enough, like I wasted all the years she invested in me. You gave me the confidence to try and get a diagnosis.

[@crossworder]

Omg Kim, you just described my childhood to a tee! Word for word, bar for bar! 😂 Honestly though, I always suspected I might have ADHD, and this video has inspired me to actually take the step to seek out a therapist. Thank you so much, your work is so appreciated!!!

[@a.sydney5036]

🤣 word for word, bar for bar🤣

[@autumnt728]

Yeaaa as someone who literally used to tell people “I’m actually really smart. I just have a lot of things going on in my head so I seem aloof.” this is hitting a little too close to home.

[@lorenkmp]

Kim! ADHD tik tok is more fun. Also truly I'm so happy that you've added medication to the mix. It's just really so different. I didn't realize why people thought it was so awful to go to the grocery store with me, and then recently my friends came to visit and were so impressed how decisive I was, because the grocery store used to be so overwhelming for me, even with a list. I really appreciate you continuing to share your story.

[@lorenkmp]

Also the appetite will come back, but I am wondering if I maybe need to adjust my meds because I have been devouring sugar again. 😅 I forgot that is the abnormal part of my diet, cause that feels normal to me #moregreens!

[@brashhouse]

35 year old woman here! I’ve had ADHD all my life, diagnosed at 17, took non stimulant meds for about a year, stopped taking because they made me zombie like, decided to get back on meds at 25… given adderall extended release. Helped quite a bit with work and school… but I lost A TON OF WEIGHT. Switched to immediate release about a year ago and it worked for me. I can actually get sleep at night…

[@mstarry]

I was diagnosed officially at 31/32 and prescribed Adderall at 33. It's crazy how similar our childhood experiences were! It took sometime for me to accept that this is okay and I am helping myself.

[@a.sydney5036]

I'm reading all these comments and everyone is recounting their childhoods. My strange, I was okay as a kid, in fact I excelled in all levels. But as an adult😫, everything is a struggle. Everything, every day at work.

[@Fae313]

Regarding the beginning of the "Why I refused medication" section, it’s true that children are prescribed drugs for behavioral issues rather than more expensive and intensive treatment, but it’s not ADHD meds that are overprescribed. It’s actually antipsychotics. If you look up statistics for antipsychotic prescription rates among children on Medicaid, you’ll be shocked and horrified. (Source: "The Body Keeps the Score," by Bessel van der Kolk.) People with ADHD are statistically under-medicated and under-diagnosed at this time.

[@dewilew2137]

A great book. And it’s girls that skew the stats for ADHD, because we slip under the radar because we tend to not be as hyperactive and disruptive in class. A lot of us aren’t diagnosed until adulthood, and we just suffer through school.

[@Ohaiii344]

Wow

[@Lotusflower68]

Wow, I’m in my mid fifties and can see how this is definitely me. Especially since my 29 year old son was recently diagnosed and also does Adderall. He too says it’s been a game changer and he no longer feels so behind. Thank you for sharing 🤗

[@ThugDrina]

I had a student who had adhd so severely I doubted my own when I was diagnosed. But when he locked into something, I figured out he was an actual genius. I also did very well in school and it came very easily but staying organized and not procrastinate until the last min, I had to do an extra year of college.

[@Iggystar71]

I promise, it cannot be a coincidence that I clicked on this video as I’m trying to figure out where to start in getting this room together. Like…I can’t even express where I’m at right now and how I feel. I was seen today.

[@lakishajeanty5681]

I resonate with this, so much especially with meeting and exceeding goals academically but feeling like your drowning in every other area

[@Wwumzymumzy]

I can relate so much to this. I just got diagnosed with combined ADHD a few months ago, about a month after my 27th birthday. My family and friends still have a hard time grappling with the idea of me struggling because I had high achievement at school and kept all difficulty to myself for so long. My family thinks I’m eccentric and my friends think I’m a type A goal oriented career woman. I don’t know if they’ll ever get it, but it’s such a relief just knowing I’m not crazy, lazy, or anything I told myself since childhood. Also, Adderall is a godsend. I honestly don’t know I would manage without it (for now).

[@SoIsrael]

At my Big age of almost 36 (b day is Monday) I just found out I have it. I have been researching and this 1 video made me shed a tear. Yours made me cry like a baby. Everything you mentioned I have experienced especially when someone asks me to do something. I used to get hollered at all the time. My friends called me the blonde one. All this time I thought it was just me whole time I got a whole disability lol smh. Thanks for sharing Queen ❤

[@aaronblackmon5520]

So i have a lot to say on this because I am in my 30s and I just started taking Adderall this year. I honestly can relate to EVERYTHING you said. What you said about being called defiant as a child- i never made the connection until now. I did speech and debate in high school and loved winning trophies. I have a great job that I do well at but I knew that I could be doing better. Being able to get through cleaning is such a amazing feeling because how hard it is and I love #cleantok. I honestly feel like we are the same person in so many respects and this video is another example of this.

[@magubi]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience, it made me very emotional because I can relate with a lot of the things you said and is an important reminder that I'm not alone. I struggle a lot with emotional regulation and impulse control. It has really affected my relationships, all kinds. It's a challenging journey but therapy and medication certainly makes it easier. Openly talking about this helps us destigmatize certain aspects of mental health. It can be painful but it's liberating and necessary. Great video 💖

[@ForeignManinaForeignLand]

Tryna balance YT, my thesis defense & a litany of other tings - i swear some adderall would’ve helped yet my Caribbean “minimizing my mental health” inner voice was screaming

[@kerlinelorantin4797]

As someone who really enjoys your YT channel, I just want to say drop it if you need to. We'll be here when you get back. Best of luck on your thesis defense.

[@jinh817]

I was on adderall when I was younger, and I recently had to get back on it. The main reason I decided to get back on it was because my life became disorganized and the pandemic (working from home). It just got worse, and I finally decided to get help. People don’t get it though - everything you’re saying is true.

[@tiahardy31715]

Kimberly I can relate to this sooo much! I just started Adderall 6 months ago at age 30. And honestly I don't know how I allowed ADHD and anxiety to go untreated for some long. I too am a naturally ambitious and motivated person, but there would be times where I would not be able to get out of bed and sit there and just think about the daunting tasks of how much self control and focus it would take for me to get things done. It affected a lot of things my interpersonal relationships especially. My husband can definitely see a difference and so can I and I love it. I love being able to just check everything off my list without a second thought and being the most productive person I can be. I do want to try and find a natural way of transitioning off of it. But for now, i'll enjoy a clear mind and not having to juggle my thoughts.

[@Hereforthevibes07]

This video was my wake-up call to go get evaluated. I swear everything you said resonated with me HEAVILY

[@raeahthewriter8082]

I’m so happy for you. Proud of u for taking good care of Kimberly, your inner child is thanking u so much right now

[@stefanigraves1467]

Thank you so much for sharing this, i related with your story SO MUCH! i've been on generic adderall for about 5 years and it's changed my life for the better. my parents never had me tested for ADHD but at 25 i decided to get it checked out and baby just like you said, the minute i took the first pill the light switch was SWITCHED ON! also a dallas girl here so heeeeey 💖💖👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@AnnaBanana-tx9rf]

Vyvanse and adderall changed my life!! It just allows me to actually complete the tasks I need to get done. I also feel like I’m a much safer and more focused driver with it. Idk it literally helps me be a functioning person

[@alissaloncar4584]

OMG. What a wonderful emotional roller coaster I just went on. I laughed, welled up in tears, shouted out loud like I was your hypeman. THANK YOU for this Kim. I’m a therapist that specializes in adult ADHD and experience high spectrum ADHD myself. I’ll definitely be sharing this vid with my clients. I know it will particularly resonate with my ‘smart but scattered’ female identified clients who were diagnosed later in life. You hit on sooo many things, too many things my brain can’t fully organize in words right now (hehe) But def want to highlight the importance of the intersectionality aspects of ADHD you discussed that demands more attention and understanding.

[@faithful2myfreedom934]

I don’t usually comment but I really enjoy all of your content. Kimberly, this video is very important, and it’s especially important to me. I appreciate you sharing your experience. If you’re willing, please give us an update on your progress and how you feel in 6 months. I’ve considered that I may have ADHD myself, and listening to your story; it’s almost parallel to how I’ve felt for a very long time. You’ve inspired the me to face what may be going on and seek medical help. I pray you continue to do well in managing your ADHD and hope to hear more about your progress ❤️

[@MT-fe8ke]

Your literally my inspiration and the blueprint for eloquence and class in human form.

[@janellentim]

I’m so proud of you

[@yakwtfgoidgafwabgtsam]

Thank youuuuuu for posting this! I've been a long time ADHD haver, from my childhood, college, my whole life. Lots of confusion and executive dysfunction, being labeled as "lazy", "defiant", "sullen", etc and not understanding why. Especially as a Black person, it really hurts to have people give up on you for reasons that are out of your control. I am now 29 y/o and today is my first day on adderall.

[@classassignment3643]

I started taking it in my 30s when I got my official diagnosis. It changed my life.

[@MichelleWatsonLee]

That interview with Dr. Hart was so good. That is one of my fav interviews on the channel.

[@stacia1525]

Girl, you are not alone…