Why I Hate Nesta Archeron from A Court of Thornes and Roses

[@iziiadou]

Nesta was 3-4 years older than Feyre and we know Elain is the middle child so she is 1-2 years younger than Nesta. Elain wasn't better but she was excused because she took accountability in ACOMAF and changed a lot since ACOTAR and showed to be willing to fix her relationship with Feyre.

[@morgsburke]

Yeah, Nesta didn’t work on changing anything until she was forced to. A lot of trauma dumping on others. Feyre also had issues being too easy on Nesta- like when Nesta told her she was going to die just to be mean- and Feyre was like at least she was honest. No, she was trying to hurt you and that’s not okay. It’s almost like a weird emotionally codependent situation where they regulate each other.

[@SM-jg3wj]

Finally!!! Someone who doesn’t justify Nesta’s shit behaviour. Thank you!!! I hate every single person who defends her crap.

[@morgsburke]

Agreed lol like she’s sooo emotionally abusive

[@lydiawhitaker9490]

I can't justify it, maybe people pro Nesta have been bullies themselves. I don't know. I just can't understand how you can validate such awful lashing out and neglective behaviour

[@kbhargavi1785]

I strongly agree with you like she didn't take responsibility to her sisters but she wanted her dad to take responsibility for them. And people always say nesta did the right thing by telling feyre about the pregnancy but the reason she did that was to win a petty argument and to hurt feyre. Feyre has always been a best sister than nesta had ever been and all of the inner circle treated her as family despite how she was rude to them.

[@morgsburke]

I completely agree! She wanted others to take accountability but not herself. She wanted respect for telling Feyre but told her to be mean. So stupid. I hope she continued to grow in the next ACOTAR. I rolled my eyes too many times with her lol

[@kbhargavi1785]

@@morgsburke me too

[@angelsam29]

I strong agree with your points - you’ve summed up most of why I detest Nesta. She’s abusive and cruel.

[@morgsburke]

Thank you!! I feel like the people that disagree only think that trauma can be expressed how Nesta shows it- but Feyre is a great example that you can work through your trauma and not emotionally abuse those around you while you heal.

[@Sacrifishul]

i can’t excuse nesta but i relate to her. undiagnosed BPD and ptsd+trauma i allowed to simmer and fester until i lashed out at those who loved me caused me to spiral into those same self sabotaging, fight and fawn behaviors to keep everyone away. to burn the bridge before they could destroy it. it took intensive therapy and lots of healing to learn how to cope, self regulate, and increase that window of tolerance for emotions that feel so big and turbulent and explosive, and to take accountability for the things i’ve said to those who loved me even at my lowest points. i’m still mending those wounds- those inflicted on me and those i’ve caused others. admitting you are a big part of the problem is only the first step. i’m glad nesta had a ‘breakthrough’ but i hope we can see her truly take accountability and make an effort to fix all that she’s broken as a result of her brokenness.

[@morgsburke]

A very thoughtful reflection! I think that makes perfect sense and I am also glad Nesta had her breakthrough. Ready to see her growth moving forward!

[@lydiawhitaker9490]

Preach! I'm the oldest sibling and even though I'm 29 now, and my brothers 27 if it came to war I'd go and sign up to stop him going, like Mulan haha I would protect him with my life

[@morgsburke]

Right!! Nesta is the worst

[@lydiawhitaker9490]

@@morgsburke people justify her because she has trauma. But so do all bullies, and on a more extreme note serial killers etc. Extreme I know, but still. Just because you can explain why someone's horrid doesn't change the fact they're a bad person

[@lysabelle3990]

Nesta is a horrible, selfish, toxic person, I don't hate the character but what is annoying is people who relate to her trying to pretend she isn't horrible. Like if you can relate to the abuse she is doing you just might also be...acting like a horrible Selfish Toxic person. If I can relate to say a murderer that doesn't suddenly make them not a murderer it means I have things I need to work on. With that said this whole family is very realistic of a toxic family dynamic, so I do like the depiction. Nesta was jealous of Feyre that is the real reason that she treats her horribly, they try to make it complicated but that's what it was jealousy. Nesta was abused by the mother and gma into being the "best" and for them the best was marrying well by being a refined lady. Then the rug was pulled out from under her and she was thrown into a situation where all of that meant nothing. Elain was similarly useless as she was in this new situation so Elain isn't a threat to Nesta's ego, Nesta can still feel capable and better than Elain, which is an ego boost for her. Feyre, however, was able to adapt and so she relflected back the fact that Nesta wasn't the best as she was taught to be, which injures Nestas ego. THIS is the real reason for the on going abuse and the disparity of treatment between Elain and Feyre. Her behavior is maladaptive and illogical to anyone that doesn't have these issues as it should be they arent "normal" behaviors. With that said feyre is also maladaptive but it is easy to not hate someone who hurts themselves with their maladaptive behaviors as opposed to hurting others others. This is so realistic to how people develop in toxic families. Sidenote: I get why people hate Nesta more but Elain gets to much of a pass for me she was also her older sister and it pisses me off that she had no issue finding her voice to command that greyson guy not be hurt, yet never found her voice when Feyre was being mistreated. Elain needs more hate thrown her way. #cassianandlucien deservedbetter

[@morgsburke]

Completely agree! Elain had a skillset she could have used (gardening) to help provide for the family. She could have sold herbal remedies or something and also provided food for the family in spring summer and fall.

[@deftonenations303]

Nesta is the absolute worst. I never use the word C U Next Tuesday but when I think of her character, that's the word that comes to mind.

[@morgsburke]

@@deftonenations303 lolol to the spelling