Why I Stopped Hating My Jazz Playing and So Should You

[@saxuary]

I’ve always called it jazz disease. The danger of pursuing an elite art form. I came to a similar epiphany, that music isn’t all that I am, but rather simply an expression of who I am. It’s a matter up untethering oneself from this identification with what one does. You are much more than what you can do, the licks you can play, or whatever. Music is a way to explore and express your humanity, not some way to prove you are worthy. Thanks for posting!

[@kjjjjjjjj]

I've started studying jazz three years ago, and playing with other musicians about two years ago. Most of the cases was that after the gig I felt that all I played was shit, but that's normal, I think, for a begginner who really wants to improve. The real big problem to me is that sometimes (most of the cases too), when I make a mistake I can't stop thinking about it, I mean, in the moment, during the rest of the gig, and after that comes a week of sadness and mental punishment, to the point where is impossible to see something possitive about my performance in that gig. I think that the most difficult thing is to learn to control those destructive thoughts and also the anxiety when playing for an audience, to enjoy, to be critic but not too tough with yourself, to "feel more and think less"...

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Hey Ezequiul! I think many others can relate to your experience. It's easier said than done, but I think it's helpful to try not to take music so seriously. Obviously, you care about it, and in order to improve you need to. But music should be fun. I recommed Carol Dweck's book "Mindset" as a good read that could help you.

[@Herehear49]

When I get bogged down with doubts about my playing, a small two word phrase flashes in my mind: "Just play". It gets me through those ego generated thoughts and keeps me going where I want to go musically. We musicians need to get out of our own way from time to time. Just play.

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Love it Pat, great tip!

[@PaulHarrisonmusician]

This speaks to me deeply. I came in from a weird / frustrating gig tonight and then stumbled on this. Really appreciate your wisdom Brent and thankyou for putting it across so honestly and articulately.

[@juanapiresrafael]

thanks a lot for the video. I struggle with this a lot of times. Like you said I try to focus on the reason why i am pursuing a musical career, an the answer is always the same, love. And before a gig , I like focusing on delivering something meaningful for the audience.

[@zacharyh6361]

Going through this right now. Thanks for exploring this topic! You're really helping people out.

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Glad to help Zachary, and thanks for watching!

[@radioclub5184]

jesus, thanks man. I'm going throught this right now, the last 2 months, i picked up my instrument with disgust, coudn't play it without feeling guilty of failure. I used to study 5 to 7 hours a day with a smile in my face, now i can't study for 2 hours without feeling down on myself. Tought i was alone in this journey all along, thanks man, i really gotta thank you.

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Most certainly not alone, and glad my story could help! Next time you pick up your instrument, come with no expectations, and remember to be grateful for the privileged to produce beautiful sounds from it.

[@dickymuscat]

this video has really helped me, just need to figure out how to turn it round now!

[@atilioo]

I started playing my instrument at age 14 but only started with jazz at 26...currently, my classmates and colleagues are younger than me, and even some of my teachers are my age. Now i am 28 and have been formally studying jazz for almost 2 years, today i´m playing gigs and some people like my playing (i think). If when i started 2 years ago i had the wrong attitude of comparing myself with the other kids in an unhealthy way (meaning, thinking that they are better than me just because they play better jazz than me), i would have failed all the way and be depressed by this moment haha...i think what brought me to the place that i am now (besides practicing) is that i always try to learn from others and understand that they can learn from me also (even from my mistakes). I like to admire my colleagues and teachers because that makes me better...just by being around them. And also, i try to understand everyday my place in my particular community of jazz musicians and other musicians also. I know i haven`t reached the level that i want yet, but probably i`ll never reach that, because this never ends, we are always in the process and exploring, so that brings me some peace of mind. You just have to put in the work, and that means not only practicing but other things too, but that`s another subject. Thanks for opening yourself up in public, i understand thats a very hard thing to do! Peace to you too!

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Atilio MV great attitude! Thanks for contributing.

[@DerekMcCoyMusic]

Just got home from a gig and feeling like CRAP about my playing. So glad I came across this video. Well done man. I needed this reminder!

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Glad to help, Derek!

[@rafagxjunglezz]

Thank you for the motivation man..

[@AwayAwayandUp]

Needed to hear this! Thanks for the video.

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Glad to help, thanks for watching!

[@paigecarr3254]

I didn’t reach quite as deep of a place as you did but the other day I was just beating myself up with the fact that I am not good enough. I worry a lot about how I will be ranked or placed against my peers. I got better after praying about it and helping me calm down and look at how much I have improved the last year. I was amazed. I got good to the point where I am really nitpicking what I do. But I realized it and stopped it. Thanks for the vid, I know I wasn’t alone.

[@dannypiers7342]

Great video! Definitely relate to this and it culminated in a breakdown outside a gig one night. It made me realise, in a similar way to you, that music had become so serious that I had stopped enjoying it for the fun of it. From my experience, it's always good to constantly be aware of whether music is an extension of you, or whether you've reached a point whereby you've lost yourself in the music and forgotten that you are much more than just music but a person with infinitely more to offer to the world than just musical expression. As you said, being critical is great when done in a constructive way and channelled into progress and goal-setting - but when the goal becomes being the best (as opposed to the best version of you individually) you get this kind of tunnel vision which can be really dangerous for mental health. Above all, as musicians we should always feel able to talk and open up about these issues to one another, and help eachother on the journey.. thanks for opening up to us!

[@Learnjazzstandards]

My pleasure Danny, glad to share and be of help!

[@TacticalBacon1235]

Happens to me all the time, I've been studying and playing jazz for about 10 years now and I'm constantly critiquing myself and beating myself up. And almost all the musicians I know and play with have the same issues. I think its a normal part of a musicians life to be doubtful and self critical and it can be a useful tool if you confront it in the right way. But it can be hard to be forgiving and patient with yourself and not lose sight of why you are playing music in the first place.

[@Learnjazzstandards]

TacticalBacon absolutely! If those feelings can be channeled in a healthy way, they can be beneficial. Thanks for watching!

[@cobyup10]

Awesome video! This is actually the first time I've seen this subject addressed and I think it's possibly the most important concept for any musician to keep in mind. 2 quotes from Charlie Parker stand true to me: 1. "Music is your own experience, your own thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. They teach you there's a boundary line to music. But, man, there's no boundary line to art." Wow. To me, this one reminds us that while we can learn a lot by studying the greats and by approaching jazz very methodically, we have to remember that we are all unique as individuals and as musicians and it's because of this that we shouldn't be afraid to sound unique when we improvise. It also reminds us that we should try to tell a story with our playing, letting our experience influence our creativity...rather than our anxieties. 2. "Don't play the saxophone. Let it play you." This one is similar to the first but more specific to improvising in the subconscious state of mind. Whether you've realized it or not, most of the magic with improvisation happens when we least expect it...and when we're not trying to force it. For instance, next time you're improvising, just think, "less is more". Start with a simple motif and don't be afraid to repeat it. See where it goes from there...Plant a seed and let it grow.

[@tomscott1741]

Thank you very much for sharing your story!

[@Learnjazzstandards]

My pleasure Tom!

[@bennymusicandstuff]

Thanks for your mature way of thinking about this matter. It is so very important to have balance in you're life. There is always someone that is better than you, but that is not important. You perform the best you can. Thanks for the videos. I recommend them to my students. Take care and keep on jazzing. :)

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Thanks Benny, and I appreciate you sharing and watching!

[@tomscott1741]

It is important to take apart as many different solos as you can, doing this will make you feel much better about your music! Mainly because you will notice everybody's improvisational style is completely different, rhythm, note choice and feeling, it will give you a prospective that will allow you to appreciate your own playing as the unique individual thing that it is. You want to become as great as The musicians that you love, but in order to do that you have to be yourself, and make yourself the best version of you that you possibly can! John Coltrane, Sonny Rollins, Cannonball Adderley and Joe Henderson all love Charlie Parker! They all studied bird ferociously, and they all sound completely different from each other! Different ideas different feeling different rhythm, they are just being themselves and embracing their ideas! Because that's what Charlie Parker did!

[@jellison7]

Wow! I really needed this! Thanks so much--been attempting "Giant Steps"-ready to quit playing! This has given me some hope to keep going-Thanks again!

[@Learnjazzstandards]

JR Ellison my pleasure! Thanks for watching.

[@Bryantkh13]

Thanks for this, its helpful to hear your story and use it look at my own

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Bryantkh13 my pleasure! Thanks for watching.

[@jesseolsson1697]

This video has made me realize that I even have a problem in this area, as I am very young (14) and starting this downward spiral into complete perfectionism in my pursuits of jazz trumpet. Just because I can't play Confirmation, Cherokee, or Giant Steps yet doesn't mean I won't be able to in the near future if I stay positive, know what will make me better, and work at it.

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Hey Jesse, thanks for watching! Everything good takes time to develop. Just keep having fun and enjoy the climb up!

[@josiecrotwell8627]

you know I just stumbled onto this video, and it couldn't be more true for me. I am busy transcribing bireli lagrene solos but not gigging, at all, because it is true I leave gigs with a sad? or anxious feeling of dismay. and ironically in my town it seems all the gigs paid $40 and a meal in the 1980s and they still pay $40 and a meal in 2018, and the musicians that have these gigs are not that great of musicians, the good players are teaching and maybe have gigs in the bay area with GOOD players. But it is a psychological phenomenom,,,, hate the sound of your recorded voice? I do. Frustrated not sounding like George Benson? I am. I need to lighten up on myself and get out there and find people better than me, like you said, and get with them. There is some anxiety to overcome but it is a realistic doable goal, and I appreciate you pointing it out becuase it is the story of my life with jazz. Anyway now I am going to watch some of your other videos, thanks again and peace...

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Hi Ted! If you care a lot about something, it's natural to be tough on yourself. I think your advice to yourself is perfect! Lighten up a bit on yourself and try to remember music is about having fun, not being the best or sounding perfect.

[@OldBeatleMan]

Transitioning from Blues / Rock to Jazz as a Bass player …. Learning from a variety sources. Gotta put a lot more work in.. Confidence is not there. Hope to jam soon

[@BlacksmithDrumGuitar]

thanks for this amazing video, you really hit the spot, thanks :)

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Thanks for watching, and glad to help!

[@SaxophoneMiner]

I really love the recent content

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Glad to hear it! Thanks for watching.

[@sooofisticated0499]

I only started learning to play piano 4 years ago. I was 33. I didn’t have the opportunity to learn when I was growing up, or do anything else constructive, for that matter. For me picking up the piano was an act of desperation: I desperately love music, so I had to get over the whole, “he is better than me,” thing: 3 year olds were better than me when I first started. And for the most part, perhaps there’s still a little of that there. Here I was, 33, learning to read music and fumbling over Minuet in G. I would get sensitive at times when someone critiqued me. But it just brings so much joy that I can’t stop. I kind of look back and am thankful in a way that I didn’t start when I was a child or teenager, because I’m sure I would have fallen into the same rut, or quit entirely at some point-I was that sensitive then. I still find it hard to play in front of people, but lately I’ve actually been able to hold my own, so that’s my (slightly different) perspective.

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Thanks for sharing Pat!

[@lucythomasclarinettist8743]

Good on ya for picking up piano at 33!! I've experienced the 8 year olds being better than me...but life's too short to waste on those thoughts. You're doing it for you and that's what matters!! Keep going!

[@clifflisette]

Hi Brent a friend just sent me your video. I wanted to stop music completely. Well I'm still thinking about it but You nailed it. Great video by the way. Thanks.

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Hey Cliff, glad to help! Just remember that music is so much bigger than "sounding good." It's something that brings joy and curiosity to our lives, so if only for that reason, keep on playing!

[@bob32069]

Cliff Lissette no way! You are an awesome player and I love your music.

[@bob32069]

Cliff Lissette no way! You are an awesome player and I love your music.

[@clifflisette]

bob32069 thanks

[@MexSax]

Very interesting topic ! Music for me is just a hobby, that is why I do not face this obstacle but I can understand it might be a big issue when you are 100% dedicated to music. Great video btw 👌👏👏🌈

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Mex Sax thanks for watching!

[@vaclavhanusekv1717]

This is my problem. I started playing guitar 5 years ago. I used to practise up to 8 hours a day, so it became the only thing I could think about, but now I see that everybody should have some other dimensions of his life. I just think about how people are better, I can´t play and others hate me for existing. And it is so hard to learn by steps, but after watching your videos I really wanna try.

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Hey Vaclav! My advice to you would be to ask yourself: why do I care so much that other people play better than me? I'm sure you have some good reasons why you feel this way, but you have to start realizing that this doesn't matter. It's also an unsolvable problem. There will always be people who are better than you. It doesn't matter how long you practice, or how good you get. All you can do is play music for yourself. Start changing your frame of mind to being a better musician for yourself, and not a better musician for other people. Also remember, not to take things so seriously. No one ever died from someone playing a wrong note!

[@vaclavhanusekv1717]

@@Learnjazzstandards thanks a lot :) I Will try. I also study music at university, So I have to play piano And sing, too. IT Is, in my opinion, on of the main issues these days. I have to -have to- do music also when I dont wanna And it Is sth completely differens.

[@charlietorok2046]

Hey Brent, This video just happened to be what I needed right now. I’m a second year Jazz student at a CSU school (Guitar) and so often I realize that I’m constantly bummed about my playing. I go to shows and jams around town, practice for hours a day, and listen primarily to jazz. Constantly I’m plagued with these thoughts of self doubt, reluctance, depression, and a fear that I’ll never bridge the gap between conscious consciousness and unconscious consciousness. It always seems that the guys I play with and the guys I watch are just leagues above me and I’ll never get there. This video helped to remind me that with dedication and preserverence I’ll probably be there, but that’s not to say that I’m valuable in other aspects of my life. My question for you, as a guitar player, is what helped you make bounds of improvement? Shedding tunes and working on ii-V’s clearly helps, and I’ve been transcribing a bit as a part of my practice routine, but what else can be done to get an edge on my practicing and improvement? Thanks much & Best Wishes, Charles.

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Hey Charlie! Thanks for watching. For me it's been time and pressure. What I mean by that is the more experience I get playing the better I get over time. Of course effort has to be put in, and that's the pressure part. I know that's not a steps 123 answer, but it's what I've experienced. Keep doing the things you know will help you improve, and in the meantime, just have fun, enjoy the ride, and work towards beating your own personal records, not others.

[@Probkinson]

I feel that all the time.

[@Learnjazzstandards]

Александр Иванович you're not alone!

[@DizzyKrissi]

The more I practice the worse my playing gets and I found out that I tend to overthink during gigs when I am practicing too much technical stuff and prepare too heavily. I felt depressed - like I always do when I felt like playing shit in front of an audience.

[@aligaelgutierrez8128]

thanks

[@Learnjazzstandards]

My pleasure Aligael, thanks for watching!

[@orangeguitarmusik]

Ive pretty much decided to stop gigging because i hate my playing.

[@cassandras_closet]

*ha i always hate my music*

[@kennetheastman1442]

wow this is my constant struggle. Glimpse of hope followed by endless depression. It's like a disease. Wonder why I continue to beat myself up. The struggle continues

[@Learnjazzstandards]

The important thing is not to take this stuff so seriously!

[@nononouh]

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