Why is grief so lonely?

[@madmoe4]

Thank you for this. I lost my wife of 36 years I. January 2024, day after my birthday. My children have been coming home weekends to try and keep me sane. My emotions are a roller coaster crying at some point most days. I am seeing a grief counselor and plan on attending a Grief Share program as well. I’ve been writing letters to her every day and it seems to help me. I feel lonely all the time, and at times I’m ashamed to say I feel jealous of other couples.

[@HeatherReid-q8i]

It is heart wrenching. The loneliness is terrible and no one can fill the loss. Only God can heal you and time. It is a terrible feeling.

[@donnapatterson1420]

I lost the love of my life just short of 4 weeks ago.. Everything you're saying is exactly how I feel.. I am beyond broken and lost, the pain is unfathomable.. I've never felt so alone in my life.. Thank you for your kind words..

[@gaydensikes]

Since my husband died, I feel as if I died too.

[@lifelosshope]

That’s understandable.. in fact true partly as a massive part of our life is no longer with us.. be gentle with yourself and sending you comfort and love x

[@amandasymon4363]

I feel so very lonely - It is unbearable! You really are the only person I have found who feels the same way as I do. I can see no point in anything the void without him is too great.

[@PattiHicks-u4o]

I feel as you do, nothing matters anymore since I don't have my husband to share things with. I miss him so very much. It's been 9 months and it's getting harder each day.

[@jmcmahon5188]

@@PattiHicks-u4o❤

[@bencooper3400]

I recently found out about my ex-girlfriend’s passing. She died suddenly in July 2023 but because her friends and family couldn’t find me on social media, I didn’t find out until 3 weeks ago. Although we separated in February 2023, I still loved her very very much. We were together for 2 years and she truly was my soulmate despite things going wrong towards the end. Her friends and family have shut me out and disregarded me because we were no longer together and therefore they think I never mattered to her. I’ve had such a difficult time dealing with guilt - things I should have said or shouldn’t have said, the fact that I missed her funeral, the fact that a whole 7 months went by and I had no idea. Although it’s been 3 weeks since I found out, I still cry every day and am unable to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time. Despite it still being very raw and painful, your videos have been a great comfort to me these last 3 weeks Sarah, so I wanted to say thank you ❤

[@lifelosshope]

Hi Ben .. thank you for sharing your thoughts and emotions as you grieve your ex girlfriend. I hear the depth of your pain, guilt and heart break. Ambiguous loss is so tough to come to terms with .. that is a loss that society, others or even ourselves judges or minimises.. as in the case of an ex partner, miscarriage or someone we have not seen for a long time. Your grief is valid and real. The distress of not knowing for months and living your life without that knowledge is awful for you. Understandable you are crying and grieving for her as you clearly loved her deeply. Find some good support and be gentle with yourself as you navigate this tough path. Thank you for the encouragement .. to know my grief & loss enables me to pass comfort to others makes their legacy purposeful x bless you

[@Otessa-j4u]

My life is a constant torture since the death of my late Husband Robert on 07 September 2022. He had an integrity that very few people have and I would marry him every time.

[@lifelosshope]

That’s heartbreaking to lose Robert and so raw still .. sounds like he was a special man . Sending love and comfort 🥰 x

[@pauljennings2839]

As usual, Sarah, you describe it exactly. Its now 6 months since the loss of my wife of 36 years. She was only 54 and I’m 57. I try to live in the moment but inevitably I think of the years ahead without her, and its like a physical punch to my stomach 😢Overwhelming loneliness. I’m bacK at work with lovely people but as you say, it doesn’t touch the unique loneliness of grief and coming home to spend another evening in an empty house is still almost unbearable. You are right, it does help to know that everyone must face it at some time - I just wish the time ahead without her could have been shorter. Thanks for your videos ❤

[@lifelosshope]

Hi Paul .. thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.. it’s heartbreaking to lose your wife after 36 years and only 6 months ago is very raw. Try not to think too far ahead to the years without her but take each day moment by moment. It feels too overwhelming otherwise. Sending love and comfort x 🥰

[@pauljennings2839]

@@lifelosshopethank you Sarah ❤

[@carolpoole-t7k]

I am struggling beyond words. My husband just passed away in January of this year 2024,but I lost him over 5 years ago. He was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia,he was in a facility for the past 2 years.He knew no one,including myself. We were blessed with a wonderful marriage for 53 years,the loneliness is unbearable. I was a very bubbly happy person,now I don’t want to leave the house. I know God wants me to be happy and so do I. I pray for everyone going through this pain. 🙏❤️

[@lifelosshope]

The loneliness is unbearable as you say and particularly as you have had the added trauma of caring for your husband with dementia.. it’s heartbreaking. Take each moment by moment and make time to grieve fully. Sending prayers and love 🥰 x

[@PamHoward-v3f]

😊😊​@@lifelosshope

[@jmcmahon5188]

❤

[@MarkDresner]

I so deeply appreciate your videos. It’s as if you crawled into my heart and head. I lost my wife to cancer two and a half years ago. We were together for 50 years. I have found some coping skills through the study and practice of Mindfulness. I would be totally lost without it and your intelligent and compassionate talks. Thank you so very much.

[@lifelosshope]

I appreciate you taking time to comment and your kind encouragement… it is so heartbreaking to lose your wife after 50years together.. that’s a lifetime. Being in the moment can help you looking too far ahead and feeling overwhelmed.. it also promotes thankfulness . Sorry for your loss.. sending love and comfort x 🥰

[@katalinbohdan9122]

My 38 year old fiance has been violently murdered during combat in the Ukrainian war, 2 days after my birthsay and 4 days after saying goodbye to me nefore heading off. This loss was hard but the shock of loneloness and anger that followed right after was an absolute shock

[@catherinemiller32]

I felt like you were speaking directly to me. Thank you. The loneliness is overwhelming at times since my husband of 30 years passed away September 2, 2021. I am engaging in many of the activities you mention here and they do bring moments of peace. Hoping those moments grow over time. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone ❤️😇

[@lifelosshope]

It’s desperately lonely after such a long time together.. glad that you’re engaging with some activities to ease the isolation & loneliness. Sending love ❤️ x

[@dotthompson9146]

I just want to say that I was also very angry with god I prayed so much for the four years my son was suffering with cancer I am a Christian and believed that god could heal my son but it was not to be iv just come to realise that it must of been his time to go home but that do not make my terrible grief any easier I miss and long to be with my son he was my world I am going through my second year of grief it feels so much worse than the first year feel so unhappy sad and just don’t want to go on any more I am so sorry for you’re loss I feel you’re pain and heartache sending you hope and peace that you will see you’re loved one again may god give you comfort at this difficult time god bless you dot ❤❤❤❤

[@alcole8833]

I've watched hundreds of hours of videos since my sweetheart of 44 years died almost two years ago after a three-year battle with dementia. Yours are by far the most caring, compassionate, and insightful words I've heard. God bless you.

[@lifelosshope]

It’s so traumatic to deal with dementia and loss .. 44years is a lifetime together.. I hope my words bring comfort and hope to you. Sending love as you navigate this tough journey of grief x 🥰

[@mangisty1007]

You always say exactly what I am feeling…you always cover all aspects. I really appreciate your videos🙏🏼

[@lifelosshope]

I appreciate your encouragement. Thank you.. it’s only through experiencing grief that we can know what we’d rather not be going through & feeling. Sending love and hope to you x 🥰

[@sallyrose4711]

I cried when I listened to you; it was like you had stepped into my life even to the extent of family suggesting a move and a dog. Thank you so much for your understanding. I am at this time writing a diary and it does help.

[@lifelosshope]

That’s really touched my heart Sally that you felt understood. So tragic to know you’ve lost your loved one and are experiencing this devastating loneliness. Keep up your diary writing.. it helps. Sending love and prayers x

[@dotthompson9146]

Thank you so much for you’re talk regarding the grief of a loved one I am going in to the second year of losing my son to cancer not only did I lose my son that day but my best friend and also my life as iv never been the same since he was my world now I am just existing from day to day feel so lonely and sad mental torture is what I’m going through I can relate to every feeling you have described god bless you for helping each one of us with you’re kind words so sorry for all you’re loss of you’re loved ones hope you will come out the other side stronger but for me I will never stop grieving thank you so much dot ❤❤❤❤

[@lifelosshope]

Hi Dot .. it’s heartbreaking to read that your precious son died only a short time ago. Two years plus is still considered early grief so be gentle with your heart .. it changes you forever. Know I pray for you all on here .. sending love and comfort x 🥰

[@neerajgupta2827]

Sometime life feels like torture. My wife who was young and very healthy, vegan, exercised most of all life and yet died of breast cancer. I struggled with thoughts how could she get it and feel guilty about all the fights we had. Miss her dearly. Your podcast has helped me a bit

[@boonicholls6649]

You understand my broken heart..... 💔😢I lost my beloved husband RAY 1st Aug 2022. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. The love of my life. 48years of loving each other. There is no me without him. We were soul mates. He was my everything, my world, my reason for living. My heart is broken. I cry everyday for him. I am lost amongst the rubble of my life. To listen to you l feel comfort. No one understands my grief. Grief is the price of love. I miss my RAY so much and l thank him for loving me.... I will always love him 💔

[@lathaiyer8065]

I think my grief will last till my lifetime.. better to have fewer attachments ( relationship) in life

[@lifelosshope]

Grief can last a lifetime.. it can change over time in intensity but as long as we love it is present. It’s understandable that we are reticent about new or existing attachments as it’s our way of protecting ourselves.. be gentle with yourself and sending love and comfort x 🥰

[@GinaBell-i7r]

Thank you Sarah for your guidance and describing your experience. It helps immensely. I don’t feel lonely by listening to you. This gives me comfort and validates my feelings. God bless you.

[@lifelosshope]

I appreciate you sharing how this video has helped you in your terrible loneliness.. so sorry for your loss and sending love and prayers x 🙏🥰

[@susankleinbart340]

You articulate it to the tee. It’s been three months, it’s exactly how I feel.

[@lifelosshope]

Hi Susan .. goodness only 3 months that’s so tragic and raw for you. Be gentle with yourself and take time to grieve.. it’s tough. Sending love and comfort x 🥰

[@lathaiyer8065]

Not scared to die after my husband's passing. I am giving away stuff to people who may value them

[@lifelosshope]

Sometimes we just want to be where they are .. death makes us reconsider everything and often brings us to simplify life .. it’s good you have no fear of death. Sending love 🥰 x

[@dianegaus3561]

Thank you. You got it so right.

[@christiesachde3156]

It's the loneliness and overwhelming sadness that I am left with after the unexpected death of my husband...

[@lifelosshope]

It’s really heartbreaking Christie to lose your husband unexpectedly.. I hear the depth of your loss and sadness. Sending love and prayers x 🥰

[@christiesachde3156]

@@lifelosshope Thank you...I appreciate that.

[@starstuff5958]

8 months today that my husband of 59 years passed. No one understands unless they feel it. The less people around me the better. Grief is done totally alone. I don't even want to talk to my family. I can't help them and they can't help me, it's even more lonely.

[@christiesachde3156]

@@starstuff5958 That is so true...the only people that know and understand are other widows. It's like being part of a group and only the people in the group understand but it's a group you never want to be a part of. I get that...sometimes it's just easier to be alone. No one can fix this...and I have found that most people do and say things in order to make themselves feel better...really has nothing to do with me.

[@GinaBell-i7r]

I hear you. The pain can be overwhelming at times. It’s like a bad storm. Once the tears flow you can then feel a bit better. My husband of 29 years passed away from heart disease which was preventable had he gone to the dr for regular checkups but he didn’t. That’s was makes the grief unbearable at times.

[@Anondlynn]

Thank you for this video ❤

[@lifelosshope]

Sending love and comfort x

[@vivhartley6003]

Yes its over wellming when on your own when you lose your husband you feel jnsecure and so lonley and comìng home to an empty house its just so cruel and people can be to lost my dear little dog so l am greaving twice not nice you just see other people going on with there lifes and they do not understand

[@paulbooyse1347]

@vivhartley60003 unfortunately that's so true.

[@vivhartley6003]

You are right ever thing you have .said is so true you need people with conpashoion that wii lisen to you but l am afrraid there are not many thank you so much for your understanding and sending love to you and blessings take care so kind 💗

[@lifelosshope]

Hi Viv .. I appreciate your comment and yes we do need compassion and kindness after loss. Be gentle with your heart and sending love and prayers as you journey with grief 🙏❤️ x

[@allanlangat2098]

16th July 2022. My beautiful boy left me and life lost meaning 😢. I miss him dearly

[@lifelosshope]

That’s so tragic Allan to lose your precious son .. so sad . Be gentle on yourself as you navigate this grief and miss him so badly. Sending love and prayers 🥰 x

[@jn3098]

The loneliness is killing me literally doesn’t seem to make sense to go on.

[@formulared8491]

I’m so sad and lonely since I lost my wife 5 months ago just unfair I feel that is so unfair and sad

[@jennebeattie3168]

❤

[@WrenChastain]

❤😢

[@lathaiyer8065]

I am so angry at god. Why he has kept people in their 80s and 90s still alive and snatched away my husband's life at such a young age

[@lifelosshope]

It’s ok to be angry at God and express it .. when we see old people still living.. it can feel unjust that our loved ones died younger. God doesn’t not give us illness or death .. sadly, it’s part of our fallen world. When my mother died very young.. I was angry but with the cancer .. after time I realised it was the cancer took her not God. Sending love and comfort x

[@neerajgupta2827]

I feel the same way. I dont feel good when people start sharing their story of their mother died who was 85 years old.