Why is there such a "disconnect" in my neurodiverse marriage?!

Downloadable programs:
--- Interpersonal Relationship Skills: eBook and Audio Instruction for Male Partners with ASD- www.neurodiver...
--- Living with ASD: eBook and Audio Instruction for Neurodiverse Couples- www.livingwith...
Coaching services for autistic male partners:
--- Skype Group for ASD Men Struggling in Their Relationship with an NT Spouse: www.adultasper...
--- Skype Group: ASD Men’s Master Class: www.asdmasterc...
Coaching services for neurotypical female partners:
--- Skype Group for Neurotypical Women Struggling in Their Relationship with an ASD Spouse: www.adultasper...
--- Skype Group: Recovery from Cassandra Syndrome for Neurotypical Spouses: www.cassandras...
Coaching services for the ASD + NT couple:
--- Skype Group for Neurodiverse Couples Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder: www.adultasper...
Individual coaching services:
--- One-on-One Sessions for Struggling Individuals and Couples Affected by ASD: www.adultasper...
Access to “Members-Only” videos:
--- Get your perks here: / @markhutten
Parenting resources:
--- Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children and Teens with ASD Level 1: www.myasperger...
--- Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: www.high-funct...
--- Discipline for Defiant Teens on the Autism Spectrum: www.myasperger...
--- Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: www.autism-mel...
--- Launching Adult Children with ASD Level 1: How to Promote Self-Reliance: www.launchinga...
--- Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Kids on the Spectrum: www.social-ski...
--- Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: aspergers-myst...
The divorce rate in marriages involving individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a complex and sensitive topic that deserves careful consideration. Research suggests that the divorce rate in marriages where one partner has ASD may be higher than in marriages where neither partner has ASD. There are several factors that may contribute to this trend, including the unique challenges and stressors that can come with being in a relationship where one partner has ASD.
Communication difficulties are a significant factor in many marriages involving individuals with ASD. People with ASD may have challenges with social interaction and communication, which can create barriers to effective communication within the marriage. This can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and conflict, which may contribute to marital discord.
Another factor that may contribute to the higher divorce rate in autistic marriages is the additional emotional, physical, and financial stress that can come with caring for a partner with ASD. The non-autistic partner may take on a significant caregiving role, which can be emotionally and physically demanding. This added stress can strain the relationship and may contribute to a higher likelihood of divorce.
It's important to note that every marriage is unique, and there are many marriages involving individuals with ASD that are happy, healthy, and enduring. However, it's also important to acknowledge the challenges that can come with being in a relationship where one partner has ASD.
In order to support marriages involving individuals with ASD and reduce the divorce rate, it's important to provide resources and support for couples. This can include access to couples therapy that is tailored to the unique needs of couples where one partner has ASD, as well as support services and respite care to help alleviate the caregiving burden. It's also important to raise awareness and understanding of the unique challenges that individuals with ASD and their partners may face in a marriage.

[@markhutten]

Downloadable programs: --- Interpersonal Relationship Skills: eBook and Audio Instruction for Male Partners with ASD- www.neurodiversemarriage.org/2023/09/resolving-neurodiverse-marital-problems.html --- Living with ASD: eBook and Audio Instruction for Neurodiverse Couples- www.livingwithaspergerspartner.com/ Coaching services for autistic male partners: --- Skype Group for ASD Men Struggling in Their Relationship with an NT Spouse: www.adultaspergerschat.com/2020/11/group-for-asd-men-struggling-in-their.html --- Skype Group: ASD Men’s Master Class: www.asdmasterclass.com/2022/02/asd-mens-masterclass.html Coaching services for neurotypical female partners: --- Skype Group for Neurotypical Women Struggling in Their Relationship with an ASD Spouse: www.adultaspergerschat.com/2020/11/group-for-nt-women-struggling-in-their.html --- Skype Group: Recovery from Cassandra Syndrome for Neurotypical Spouses: www.cassandrasyndromerecovery.com/2021/08/recovery-from-emotional-deprivation-for.html Coaching services for the ASD + NT couple: --- Skype Group for Neurodiverse Couples Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder: www.adultaspergerschat.com/2020/10/mark-hutten-m.html Individual coaching services: --- One-on-One Sessions for Struggling Individuals and Couples Affected by ASD: www.adultaspergerschat.com/2019/07/skype-counseling-for-struggling-couples.html Access to “Members-Only” videos: --- Get your perks here: kzbin.info/door/UZG9TJ9LHwSfmHb4ogQmxAjoin Parenting resources: --- Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children and Teens with ASD Level 1: www.myaspergerschild.com/2019/07/parenting-system-that-reduces.html --- Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: www.high-functioningautism.com/2016/10/parenting-children-and-teens-with-high_9.html --- Discipline for Defiant Teens on the Autism Spectrum: www.myaspergersteen.com/ --- Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: www.autism-meltdowns.com/ --- Launching Adult Children with ASD Level 1: How to Promote Self-Reliance: www.launchingadultchildren.com/ --- Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Kids on the Spectrum: www.social-skills-emotion-management.com/ --- Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: aspergers-mystery.blogspot.com/

[@Newtonwilson-yw4kg]

It’s common for relationships to hit rough patches, yet there’s always a way to move forward. My own marriage faced serious obstacles, but with the right support, my wife and I overcame them and grew closer. With effort and teamwork, solutions are possible. Don’t give up-answers are attainable.

[@GodfreyKelz]

I’m struggling with significant issues in my relationship and can't imagine losing her. I love and miss her so much, and I’m prepared to do anything to bring her back into my life. I’d be very thankful for any help or advice you could offer.

[@Newtonwilson-yw4kg]

Releasing the grip on someone dear is always tough, but in my scenario, I was fortunate to have the counsel of a spiritual guide who preserved my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

[@GodfreyKelz]

I'm grateful for your guidance. I'll quickly search for her online. Thanks. I'm hopeful that adopting this strategy will also bring me the results I desire; I miss her greatly.

[@Newtonwilson-yw4kg]

you will not regret it

[@guineahillsoap2625]

Can't they just watch even a movie or something to see how to act? It becomes unbearable. I just went on a trip with my nd husband, and kids. He was saying so many rude things to me! I don't think he meant them, but it burned so so bad. I drove the full 4 hrs and was still told things like "just get your debit card out and get gas yourself. ".

[@CassieRD]

@@guineahillsoap2625 agreed. Mine says so many hurtful things to me... and he doesn't even notice how horrible it feels.

[@hogdvm]

I assumed that I was unlovable, not that he didn’t care

[@roughroadstudio]

I figured both. I have CPTSD which his ASD activated so much that I got to the point I was just ready to die to get it over with. He has sucked so much joy out of my life with his controlling, countering, boundary violating, self centered BS. I love the good parts of him so much, but he was never the wonderful person he thinks he is. He's very difficult and has been so dismissive for decades. Nobody wants that 💩.

[@Valetic6]

Same. And still do. It’s awful, I understand her deficiencies, but living and being married to it is a completely different animal for me. Life’s just not fair. I have to have two hands full of work at all times, or else. And I’m not a homemaker. I’m a man. And she’s not a homemaker either. She is disabled and destroys rather than being functional at home or in social settings. I feel like I’m raising an adult child because I’ve never had that connection with her that would make me feel human and make me feel her humanity. But that would be too good for the likes of me. Or it’s just some fantasy and I’m crazy. How do you function with someone who willingly allows piles of dirty clothes to just casually go up so high they eventually touch the ceiling in the bedroom, instead of running off to mommy and hanging out on the weekends? It’s insane to me. She can hold a job but when she gets home she forgets how to do life. It’s these damn screens too getting her distracted. Matched with the slowness. I need serious help…

[@karissamacgregor7449]

​​@@Valetic6man I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah my man runs off to his mommy too. It's really sad cause he thinks I am this huge villian in his life, and he doesn't realize that the problem is he doesnt do anything, and doesn't know anything, nor doesn't care to. And yet he apparently wants to live in a small town and be self reliant? Doesnt add up, and here's me just hoping and praying that when he just accepts he is NOT in any way shape or form a handy man, and not let that affect his ego, we can just get on with our lives. I don't care he can't do these things, I just cared that he said he could and would and then doesn't. I was PREGNANT and still the one chopping wood.

[@Valetic6]

@@karissamacgregor7449 sounds about right. Their mommas need to dump them if they want to get married honestly. Maybe not though. There’s all kinds of negative self talk that would come with it I would assume. I have given up at this point. Her mom tells me not to. I’m not getting a divorce, but I’ve had to accept she will never do anything an NT would feel they are supposed to. They want to live like an old person that already survived the Great Depression, but there’s one problem with that… they never learned how to survive. And so here we are trying to stay afloat with cinderblocks chained to our feet. I can keep my nose above the water but that’s about it 😂

[@karissamacgregor7449]

@@Valetic6 yep for sure. I don't know man, as much as it sucks, especially because I'm a straight forward person, we just gotta learn to be waaay more strategic in how everything is approached to our spouses. Find out when is the best times to talk to her, make sure it's when both of you have eaten food too! And just really let the things she's good at be the only things you throw her way. And just find somebody maybe you could hire for cheap to help out with house chores. I know money is tight but that's what I've had to do. I went through my church to help find a young teenager who could babysit, and instead just paid them to help me out with stuff around my house. They usually make only 20 or 30 anytime I call em. It's worth it if for better piece of mind

[@kareenodum1734]

Is it too late if the asd associates, you with anxiety?

[@alexandraki]

@@kareenodum1734 good question! I was also associated with their anxiety and all their body sensations!

[@dawnkelly804]

Same- i “used to be the best thing in his life”

[@meggadance]

I also want to know this

[@9x6x9x]

hey mark thanks bro. i dont agree with everything u say but im considering taking the workshop i might get married i ... want to marry her so ....

[@dawnkelly804]

Curious to know how texting affects the ND - I believe my guy( we were engaged but now separated & broke up according to him) when reading my texts hears his voice & assumes my tone of voice- texting is a terrible form of communication for NDs but sometimes it’s the only way to be able to edit carefully what you plan your say -frustrating

[@SfromWisconsin]

Mine prefers that I text him, especially if it's something that I want him to remember. It feels passive-aggressive to me when we are both home, but he is more attentive and pleasant over texts. I don't need to state the purpose of our interaction, and he doesn't interrupt me to talk about his latest tech obsession.

[@AishahParkinson]

Bless you for helping us all out.

[@deborahspencer832]

Excellent explanation. Thanks Mark.

[@markhutten]

Very welcome

[@hollygF1M]

Thank you💐

[@markhutten]

You're welcome 😊