WHY MEN LEAVE THE WOMEN WHO HELPED THEM TO GET ON THEIR FEET by RC Blakes

In this one we discuss: WHY MEN LEAVE THE WOMEN WHO HELPED THEM TO GET ON THEIR FEET
To any woman who has helped a partner succeed, only to be left behind, I want to remind you that your strength and resilience are unparalleled. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to invest your time and energy into someone else's dreams and ambitions, and it's a testament to your character that you were able to do so with grace and generosity.
But now it's time to focus on yourself. Remember that your worth is not defined by the success of others, and that you deserve to be appreciated and valued for who you are, not just for what you can do for someone else.
It may be difficult to move on, but don't forget that you have the strength and resilience to do so. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, pursue your own goals and dreams, and know that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to.
Ultimately, you are the only person responsible for your own happiness and well-being. Don't let anyone else's choices or actions define your worth or your future. Keep your head held high and take one step at a time towards a brighter, more fulfilling future.
#rcblakes #QUEENOLOGY #relationships
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[@RCBlakesJr.]

HELLO FAMILY. Please LIKE and share this one. It’s an important message.

[@c.r.l2117]

Please share the opening song,.I love it!!!

[@SexyDiva0807Virtuous]

When can I get the book me,my and mine on your storefront

[@RCBlakesJr.]

@@SexyDiva0807Virtuous NOW 😊

[@SexyDiva0807Virtuous]

@@RCBlakesJr. I looked but don’t see it

[@mynameis_Zandi]

@@RCBlakesJr. I think you have an imposter who targets people in your comments section. They invited me to Whatsapp them for a private investment something. I reported that comment. They even have the same profile pic as yours, but their handle is slightly different from yours.

[@godislove5781]

I learned the hard way. You don't help a man get on his feet. Most time he will resent you. A man has to figure it out on his own.

[@christines9227]

Same 👍🏽 but you’re right

[@sunsetstormx]

Amen.... It's different if you're in a healthy relationship and already married to each other. Then you support each other through the good and the bad. But when you're dating a man nope it's not your job to aid in getting his life together.❤️

[@janellamurphy5665]

YUPPA!!!!!

[@godislove5781]

@@sunsetstormx so true. Even when some men get married, they still leave once they've elevated. Then they are off to find the woman they really wanted while the first wife was the placeholder. Men create so much trauma. I don't want to get married

[@everett552]

@@godislove5781 .....For this very reason is why I finally left dating alone. Like many women, I've been there, went thru it, never saw that "potential" manifest with the ex-husband.

[@leonablack3516]

So many women waste years with a man trying to fix, change him . Dedicated to him , trying to make him a better version of himself, the question is what is this man doing for you! that you have made his happiness more important than your own.

[@PLBoogie]

The same question should be addressed about women who leave men who helped them get on their feet as that is what happens more often than what he is going to address?

[@kyrajnai4201]

You just said a word 👏🏾🙌🏾

[@leonablack3516]

A different persceptive.....

[@jazpurgarcia831]

@@PLBoogie where do you site, that this happens more with men, than women???

[@ministerkimberly]

When I was younger my boyfriend's mother married an immigrant. She helped put him through school to be a dr, had a child with him; he abused her physically, then after he graduated-he left her for a wmn of another race. It broke her and she hasn't been the same since.

[@Maeve312]

"How can a man impress a woman who has given him everything."

[@sarahnganga5179]

This has hit me deeply 😪

[@iamwendy80]

Powerful

[@Thinking-do1ic]

Impressing isn't the foundation of real LOVE. these creatures (males) are pathetic and ego centered.

[@sghomecare5888]

He can’t-

[@ameliepoulain4654]

I needed this. Thank you. My husband left me twice last year, after 3 years of marriage. I met him when he was quite young, still a student when we married. I was working full time, keeping the house clean, etc… Right after he finished his studies, he left. I realize now I was his mother, not his wife. He can’t see a future with me, and I always wondered why. But I let him go and made my peaces with God, as I know he knows best and anything that happens has a meaning in his perfect plan. Luckily I have met a few months ago someone who’s already an adult and more than happy to include me in his life. He provides and protects… this love feels so different and nurturing, compared to the struggle that my previous one was. Thank you so much for this talk.

[@veronalipka3597]

This is a puzzle for me: why would a woman marry a man who is in college? Aren't you - the woman, most of the time - the only holding the relationship together? Why be the one to be holding him up? Stop all this running ahead! Pull back and allow the man to be the go-getter. Most of them hate the fact that you are "better" than they are. PVEL.

[@missxmarvel]

Twice? you let him screw you over more than once? I hope you're not that dumb person anymore.

[@ameliepoulain4654]

@@missxmarvel Yes, twice. I got married thinking I’d never divorce, whatever happens I thought we’d get through it. I never took marriage lightly, it is holy to me and I do believe in second chances, so of course I accepted my husband one more time, but now it is over. No hard feelings, it just wasn’t meant to be and I have accepted it. I am more than happy and blessed to have this new love in my life, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

[@missxmarvel]

@@ameliepoulain4654 Remember this. Good men don't need second chances but they already do great on their first.

[@wealth2220]

@@ameliepoulain4654 went through similar situation as you with my husband leaving twice. After the second time - I filed for divorce and I can’t wait to have it finalized. I took our marriage very serious and I consider ALL marriages to be holy and marriage should be respected by the parties involved in the marriage and those outside of the marriage. God has healed me and I’m ready to move on. It’s been almost a year since I filed and we’ve been separated for almost two years, I’m ready for the man God chooses for me this time and I expect him to be already established in every area of his life, especially having an established relationship with God. God Bless!

[@pianocanbefun5142]

Accept a man when he has nothing and watch him leave you when he has everything.

[@helena3631]

This need to be pinned

[@sharlenedenson4086]

Well said!

[@loforyahyishrael2952]

Not always. It's a little too pessimistic and gloom and doom for me. Just because a woman has to hold it down until her Man gets on his feet does not mean "BYE-BYE" when he does. We cannot always throw our Man away just because he hasn't got it all together. So, I respectfully disagree with this gentleman's view. It may happen but not always. Ladies...I encourage you to continue to love and support your Man wherever and however you can. Do NOT throw your Man away if you love him. And...as far as saying that he's going to leave you for a woman that doesn't give him everything....who makes him work for her...whom he doesn't see as a mother figure...who makes him feel proud of his accomplishments....Well, that's a bunch of HOG WASH!!! That's not why he left you. He left you because most women are seductress!!! He simply was seduced. Men are weak for sex. If a woman won't help her Man then she's a user.

[@tamtammy2831]

@@loforyahyishrael2952 We need more balance as you introduced because there are men who leave women they got at their highest too-in fact all the time for other beautiful women..there are also men who stay with women they got at their lowest when they reach their highest..we see among some of the famous they ask them why is he with her and he explains

[@kay5655]

If I had a penny for every time this happens. 🤑

[@barbaradouglas3903]

I saw my ex-husband (a 70 years old narcissist ) 2 days ago at my daughter's 30th birthday . Ladies and Gents , My Final Answer - Hear it loud and clear " YOU CANT FIX STUPID " - THE OLDER A NARC GETS - THE STUPIDER THEY GET !!!

[@SexyDiva0807Virtuous]

True, I was dealing with a 50 year old damage grandparents raised him ! Eight years and I had to let it go kept trying to pour into him and he felt like he would pour back when he wanted to ! But just like RC Blake’s stated he gave a hood chi whatever she wanted ! Some men like him can’t help and I learned a lot tonight no more pouring from my cup

[@adudegena6576]

Agree

[@Mags765]

🙏🏼💯

[@AriseBeHealed]

Lord have Mercy!.

[@fkvtsxhk]

Thank you Barbara. Truth needs to be told.

[@brendagrant9382]

If anyone is hurting right now, God is a healer. He will heal your wound. Yes, you may cry, be mad, etc. But, give Him your hurt and pain.🙏🏾

[@trineseDMVbeauty]

❤️

[@zionsdaughter5206]

PLS. PRAY FOR ME. IM SO MUCH PAIN. I WAS MARRIED 15 yrs. AGO WITH A MAN I TRULY LOVED. HE PLAYED MANY GAMES KNOWING HOW I FELT FOR HIM. FINALLY I FOUND THE STRENGTH TO LEAVE. I DIVORCED HIM. HE NEVER WANTED IT. BUT I COULD NO LONGER HANG IN THERE. MOVED VERY FAR AWAY HADN'T HEARD FROM HIM IN 8yrs. OUT OF NO WHERE JUST LAST WK. HE CALLED. HE SAID HE WAS SEARCHING FOR THE LAST 8yrs. FOR ME. I STILL LOVE THIS MAN. HE'S ASKING FOR ANOTHER CHANCE, SAID HE HAS CHANGED, GROWN UP FINISHED WITH THAT WOMANIZING LIFE. SAID HE REALIZED WHOM HE REALLY WAS IN LOVE WITH. TRACKED ME DOWN ON LINE. BY CALLING EVERY FEMALE WITH MY LAST NAME. AND WASN'T GOING TO GIVE UP UNTIL HE FOUND ME. WELL, HE DID. WE'RE GOING TO MEET IN ABOUT 3WEEKS TO TALK. HE LIVES IN GA. I LIVE IN ORL. FLA. AGAIN I STILL LOVE HIM. WOULDN'T GET INTO ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIP SINCE DIVORCE. HE WAS ALWAYS IN MY HEART. BUT HE NEEDED HIS SPACE TO GROW. AND SO DID I. I DON'T GET IT IF THE LOVE FOR ME AFTER 15yrs. ISN'T REAL, TRACKING ME DOWN. AND ASKING OVER AND OVER TO FORGIVE HIM. AND RETURN BACK GIVING HIM ANOTHER CHANCE. SHOULD I CONT. TO BE ALONE ??? OR DO I KEEP MY DISTANCE.???? I DON'T KNOW.

[@nightnurse4u914]

Ty Brenda Grant l needed to hear that 😢

[@natural3362]

I give all my hurt and pain in the hand of Jesus.

[@GreenRoses07]

Omg. I love you

[@Amethyst454]

When men are at their lowest, they see the women who want them / stay with them as low quality. They don't have loyalty to their "ride or die" women. When men get to where they need to be and can afford the women the actually want, they "upgrade" easily.

[@CoachLove]

He knows that you don't have standards. You were his "mommy" and "spoke life" into him. You accepted him when he had nothing. Now that he is where he should have been, he wants a woman who will talk to him like a woman and not his mommy. One who has mature standards for a man who is where he's supposed to be versus seeing "potential." If he's not where you want him today, leave him alone and choose better for you. Stop struggling! Raise your standards! Expand your options.

[@sunsetstormx]

☝️This!!!!!!!

[@janellamurphy5665]

AMEN!!!!!!! REAL TALK..

[@cherylgriffin6515]

This

[@fkvtsxhk]

I want a man that I can talk like a woman not a mummy.

[@loisleonard3055]

Don't build a man sisters

[@Halonablack]

I appreciate this conversation. My only problem is that it’s centered around making the woman the wrong for being a nurturer. To nurture is her nature. And bum men know this. Many of these men are out here manipulating women into these relationships where he will be taken care of, use her until she’s fat and bald, then tell her she’s not feminine and will leave her empty handed. Women should not be made wrong for having a loving nature. Men should be held responsible for their manipulative nature.

[@smileyglitter852]

@Halona Black, that's the problem sis. We have to make them earn it...We can show nurture when they earn it...

[@saturdayschild8535]

Agreed. These women were used by abusers and manipulators. They should not feel wrong for loving, committing to, and supporting their man. These men aren’t being held accountable while trying to pass on accountability for their behavior to women.

[@aoc092]

True, women should not be made to feel wrong about being a nuturer, but let the man earn your nurturing. Choose carefully who you joyfully yield your nurturing to. A man has to earn that place in your heart. But, I admit that it can still go wrong, even with the best of care. There are munipulators and abusers out there. All the best in life by God's grace.

[@tiffe4772]

@@saturdayschild8535 I also agree. What I can take from this video is how to recognize when I'm in this type of relationship and can hopefully change it from there, or to move on with all the lessons learned if he's already left.

[@wordivore]

Yeah but us women are still responsible for taking care of ourselves, for making good decisions and for the situations we get ourselves into...for the most part anyway. It doesn't mean the dude that took advantage is right, but we can only control ourselves. RC here is helping us navigate, learn from our mistakes and keep our self-respect. He's also helping us to understand how men think and what makes them tick so to speak. So I'm not hearing that he's making the woman wrong, but telling us to be aware and understand how men work.

[@allthingsjubilee5288]

I was with a man/boy that told me to my face, that if he was on his feet he wouldn't be with me 😐 in that moment I started making changes in my thought pattern to sever that 10 year situationship. So glad I did. I've been no contact for about 4 years and have no desire to ever speak to that subhuman.

[@veronalipka3597]

Would love to know how he was afterwards. PVEL.

[@allthingsjubilee5288]

@@veronalipka3597 I'm not sure, I know this sounds mean, but it's fitting for the circumstance. I hope he's in a deep ditch dead.

[@veronalipka3597]

Thanks for answering. PVEL.

[@maritzagrandison5472]

Amen to that

[@kamkam4571]

@@veronalipka3597 what is PVEL?

[@JenkinsLisaC]

I see this happen to women one too many times. I vow to NEVER help a man when he's down - helping him come up only to see another woman reap the benefits. I'm not going out like that. Whatever he's going through, let him go through it by himself, with himself, and for himself. God is working on him, so stay out of the way.

[@ruthwells3990]

You invested in him and he USED YOU!!!! Let a man DO the work and you BE!!!! Women don’t pursue, JUST BE!!!! Let him pursue, do , provide, protect, AND PROFESS!!! A man NEEDS TO WORK TO SHOW LOVE

[@aprildanielle2693]

💯🗣🗣🗣🎯

[@bettylegal]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@susannefitzpatrick9955]

You’ve hit the nail on the head! I supported my husband through depression, parental bereavement and job loss like any good wife would: he left me while I was at work! Just took all his things and left. But what was I supposed to do - just let him suffer and me go on with my life as if nothing was happening in his?

[@nightswan1234]

Best comment on this feed! Simple yet straight to the point! Stop coddling grown men! They don’t really like or appreciate being neutered like that!

[@tranquilshorestravelagency9641]

True,but when it's your husband that betrays you it hits differently.

[@QueenSamiyah]

When we heal ourselves we realize that we deserve a man who can reciprocate everything we pour into him

[@LoveLight7]

amen!!

[@sharlenedenson4086]

Well said!

[@carolmatthews4079]

And you are right. Nothing wrong with getting strong advice. Nothing wrong with helping the right person.

[@ashbarbz4220]

@@Darling_Youcancallme That goes both ways, a woman has to earn being a wife, alot of women want to be a wife to a man they don't qualify for

[@toombs6287]

💯💯💯💯

[@ChanelSumpter]

This is eye-opening. I needed this today. As a single mother dating a man that lives at home with his mother, i can see clearly now why the relationship will not bear fruit. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@kamakiapeter7815]

I am dating a woman with issues. I could leave. But I need s3x. What are you staying for?

[@Sunelmusician1]

Girl run

[@monaalei9922]

Amen. Praying for you his mom kicked me out now he needs to get out of my space. I cannot wait until it's over.

[@kaylac1016]

I wish I would date a grown ass man who lives at home with his mother 😂😂😂 you must’ve been looking for another child. Lol

[@monaalei9922]

@@kaylac1016 I was just having fun at the time and thought it be a great idea to help a friend. SMH BIG EFFIN MISTAKE.

[@lucymuzungu7258]

I have always been the man in all my relationships. It’s exhausting. I am asking God that if it’s God’s will for me to get married again. I want to be the woman in the relationship. I want to be provided for and protected. You always speak the truth ❤❤🎉

[@historiqueafricaine1225]

if you like reading i'd suggest you two books related to that "waiting and dating by myles munroe and breaking generational curses by marilyn hickey"

[@FantasticBooo]

❤

[@LushGalpal]

That is what I want too!

[@dianaprince9311]

This is why you don’t do anything for a man. A man is responsible for building himself up and getting himself on his own feet. He needs to seek the help of other men. This is what my parents taught me. This message is very much needed RC Blakes.

[@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858]

Well I just did things because I thought he wanted the same thing as me (which was a marriage and family). I also do things for loved ones (or friends) readily that I wouldn't do for strangers really. Was I wrong in doing that? My Dad says others do the same thing.

[@blessedchildofgod9112]

exactly 💯

[@crownnroyalonice910]

Exactly. A lot of men turn to the women they are dating for help and to not ask their males males friends. My ex would always says his homeboys are broke or he didn't want to be embarrassed.

[@judekabongo282]

This is true!

[@chabalamusonda6714]

Ikr ♥️♥️♥️♥️!!

[@TheTiaNetwork]

This was a great message and lesson. Date men who are already put together and has done the work to build themselves up so that they don't drain you for everything you have.

[@4metimeout]

Yes, exactly 💯 👏

[@modileshikoane8174]

I belive that more times than not, men that are well put together have had the help of a woman out there...

[@4metimeout]

@Modile Shikoane I feel like her statement resonates with Alpha males. Usually, they have masculine energy. These types of men understand the assignment. But on some level, yes it's possible.

[@nightswan1234]

@@4metimeout yes, nothing wrong at all with a woman thrive in a supportive role in the man’s life! Just know your roll! Every man, woman, relationship is different, however one can tell shortly when her man understands THE assignment. He can request your assistance but he’s not asking you to drive; there is a DISTINCT difference!! He doesn’t need or want you to drive! He knows his job without you laying it all out! It’s already in his head; it always was. Know when to play the hand you were dealt. Know what your holding at all times! Don’t coddle him but do study and LEARN him! He’ll adore you for it!😀

[@acebizzy]

@@nightswan1234 best comment I’ve read thus far

[@sebentilezanini1085]

Seeing my mom do everything despite having a husband made me early on realise "No way I want one who will show me I matter by providing. Period!"....And it is so beautiful to live with a man who goes out there to work and comes home...and I say thank you honey for the toil, it's appreciated"

[@asiphejohnson6543]

Beautiful couple with you and your man. I wish y'all the best in your relationship. 🥰❤️

[@Thegazelle1000]

We need to pay attention to some men because some of them don’t want to do anything. The husband of my mother was like that l, after he lost his job, he didn’t want to look for another work, just seat at home and watched her do everything. He even told her to look for a second job, my mother refused and remembered him that he was the man of the house, that he needs to go outside there and looking for work and help her to pay the bills. After she told him this, he became so angry and resentful! I was like “common man, your wife didn’t need to tell you to find a job, you’re the man and you know this”. He was a narcissist, I’m glad that she divorced him.

[@Soooome2344]

I believe this 100%. Staying with a man regardless of what he does makes you his mother. My ex husband said I was like his mother. I helped him in everything that he did and he reciprocated with cheating and abusing.

[@bubblybubbles4023]

You're so right because a mother's love is unconditional and never ends, but a girlfriend or wife you have to let him know that there's certain things required of him if he wants you to stay.

[@akuasalaam490]

My goodness 😢.

[@renew7828]

I think a lot of men leave the women who helped them get on their feet is because that woman is a reminder of when he didn't have anything or was down on his luck. Men want to show their 'best self'' and getting a new woman who don't have a clue of past failures allows them forget that time in their life.

[@Cat-sx6ep]

This seems like a decent answer there is no way we keep getting look at as gullible and the so called man gets to walk away with NO ONE CALLING HIM A FOOL. IN a relationship we are supposed to help each other and if one is giving more than the other goodbye and never again I am confused by this act that is why I am alone ! I dont get them cant wait to hear

[@SanctifiedLady]

Interesting viewpoint

[@chynadoll77cyn59]

Yes I thought about that to , when he see me it’s a constant reminder how low he was a drug , abuse physical, all the horrible things he done to me. He even treats our son differently then his other kids.

[@KCruz7]

This is so true. And it’s easier to love and be playful when it’s a new woman who knows nothing of his lowlife games. It’s easier for him to be charming and lovable and fun when another woman looks at him with different light in her eyes.

[@Kalifornia_Dreaming]

Boom

[@shenika77]

My boyfriend told me from the beginning that he has to get on his feet for himself and be able to prove himself as a man because if he had nothing to offer himself, he had nothing to offer me. We focus on our own pursuits and vowed celibacy as we learn each other.

[@barbararichardson2747]

That's a decent man!

[@shenika77]

@@barbararichardson2747 yes he is very sweet and humble. Not even one argument, great communication.

[@veronalipka3597]

And? PVEL.

[@angelineowade2650]

Congratulations darling

[@mildredbell401]

God Bless you for this message I listen to you now and then but this is 1 of the best messages woman NEEDS TO HEAR we came here to be a HELP MATE NOT A CONTROL MATE THANKS FOR THIS MESSAGE VERY VERY ENLIGHTENING

[@windiebaker4005]

Women need to believe what they see. The average man speaks the truth, and we just have to listen.

[@asill.6668]

Betta believe it!

[@Whatthewhat927]

Men speak lies. They speak lies to trap women. So no thanks. The only truth for a woman, is her 6th senses that warn her from a person

[@theincrediblemahoganygoddess]

These men are users, straight up. Why so much complication. They will keep swapping partners when they've got what they want until they go through all of them.

[@lightsalt581]

It’s not mentally, spiritually or emotionally natural for a man to cleave to woman who is acting like his mom or a women to cleave to a man acting like her son. We must respect God’s divine order to have successful relationships. Awesome Message!!!!!!!

[@Uphjjj]

Great way to put it.

[@Siystemattic]

Agreed. I don't think anyone should have a parent-child relationship with someone that they are supposed to have a spouse-spouse or serious romantic relationship. A woman that expects her man to behave like a father to her or vice versa is also unhealthy. Its so important we self evaluate and make sure we deal with the things in us that would make us do that, and also run away from people seeking unhealthy relationships with us. Sometimes they wont understand why... and we have to be ok with that.

[@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858]

Why not? Wasn't that what he was used to? Also, only an EVIL/CRUEL person wouldn't appreciate the things you did for him! Maybe then he should be with someone who doesn't appreciate him or his efforts and dedication. Let's he how HE would feel with that?!

[@MONEYAINTATHANG100]

they'll never learn...NEXT!

[@betsy5889]

@Sivette OG eloquently stated 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@judekabongo282]

As a male transitioning into become a Man, this video truly spoke to me and yes it is true a lot of us men do leave ( even though I like to say loyalty and faithfulness is not hard when you truly desire more with a woman.) I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful woman, and she has served motivation for me and she’s really pushing me to be the best that I could be. She’s definitely not only inspired me, but challenged me to know other things outside of my interests and I know I do desire marriage with her. honestly I do not want to leave her.

[@trudiamond30]

Hummm you said you do not want her to leave. Do you want to leave then?

[@judekabongo282]

@@trudiamond30 No I’m not interested in leaving her anytime soon seriously I chose to stay and desire to be loyal and faithful to her. she is my naturally type of woman that I desire to commit too wholeheartedly. Honestly just wanting to marry her and officially doing so is Not the reward that she deserves because she is in my life right now. I’m not trying to give her that because she staying around right now. I genuinely Want to do so. She has met my family and circle of friends and the impact she has made honestly it’s amazing. My father is still with my mother. Her father is still with her mother. I like to use sports athletes who present themselves as respectful men. Harrison Barnes is married to his wife Brittany, Steph is married to Ayesha. Russell Wilson is married to Ciara

[@trudiamond30]

@@judekabongo282 okay. Wishing you the best.

[@judekabongo282]

@@trudiamond30 thank you for the support

[@inthepinkconsultingboutique]

@@trudiamond30 read the last line

[@deartisjames9591]

This happened to me. I helped him to get on his feet after being in debt to the IRS. I stood by him. I helped his build his credit even talked me into putting his name on my deed. Not loan…deed. He went from driving a piece of a car to driving a sports car. All this for him to leave me for another woman…and yes she benefited from all my help. BUT GOD!!! My life is so much better now that he is not a part of my life. I strongly believe in God’s word. But as the speaker said…his time expired and my life as a result blossomed! Praise God…

[@deartisjames9591]

@@regenesis4life It is something that you said “clinch your pearls “. God sent an Evangelist to me. She knew nothing about me, but told me a parable about a man and his little girl. She had pearls in her pocket and refused to give them to her dad when asked. She didn’t want to let go of them. Once she finally let go and gave them to him; he reached into his pocket and gave her a set of pearls. The difference was…her pearls were fake; the pearls he gave her were real. The Evangelist told me that God wanted me to give the fake pearl to Him; for He had a “real pearl” for me. You see…I didn’t want to let go with all I’d done. But with the help of the Lord…I let go, and I’m waiting to “clinch this pearl”!🙌🏼Praise God…🙂

[@Southgate210]

KARMA will catch up with he and all his other victims!

[@olajohnson134]

You must have met my ex also. He got mad because I wouldn't add his name on my house deed.

[@MichelleNagir]

@@Southgate210 Always!! No one will escape using others.

[@MichelleNagir]

I’m sorry you had to go through this.

[@evawhite7091]

Word to the wise…. only put into someone else the amount they’re putting into you, and have no expectations.Also. always be prepared to move on, making sure you and any dependents are as secure as possible.

[@candiceeberhardt543]

1. It was never really a relationship, but was always a project. 2. She makes deposits into him that he never earned. 3. She helped him to feel like a man, but she does so in a manner that mimcs being his mother. 4. When a man's personal accomplishments are all tied to a woman, it's affects his pride. 5. Men are conditioned to reach for a woman who comes with a cost, and who has made him work for her favor. A man doesn't want a woman who just hands everything to him. 6. There's a subconscious feeling of resentment that builds up within women that takes care of men, and it comes out as disrespect and a condescending nature towards him.

[@textme247]

*Thank you so much for supporting! Glad it resonates with you ❤. Kindly dm to participate in my current MCS investment offers 👆🏽🎁🕊*

[@uzougwu1511]

That resentment 1 is very true

[@tiffanyyisrael7989]

This is why so many black women go through hell and back with these males, we were taught to coddle and "hold it down." I stopped that foolishness years ago.

[@MsPinkcar1]

Said it Well.

[@phillyabiero1548]

@@tiffanyyisrael7989 truth

[@DanaeLaurenTolbert1]

Whoohoo this is going to be good! I played mom in my past relationships to unequally yoked "projects". Boys in a man's body looking for a momma. "Help mate" is not synonymous with "caretaker". A "caretaker" aka "nurturer" is the job of a mother, aunt, godmother, grandmother, etc. We don't nurture our partners or spouses. We are companions, a complementary pair .A true Ephesians 5 man has done the work and is completed in Christ. The Proverbs 31 woman is an added bonus.

[@ThanksThanks-cm4ce]

Couldn't be more true!!!!

[@gogetter2me]

Wow! You said a lot of truth then ⚘️

[@rosalyna8819]

Yes I agree

[@katherinefox6354]

Sadly, most men are little boys looking for a momma

[@juliepoint-du-jour9300]

Some men fall right back with that women help him because he is nothing without this woman.

[@ataganabelieve5822]

This is so so true, one big reason I frowned at a woman who tried to buy me with promises, thinking because she has all it takes, no real man wants to be a woman who wants to be a mother... It's two different things assisting your man at times, but not taking up all his challenges as though it were your own.. It kills a mans esteem and pride, at least that I know.

[@Thinking-do1ic]

And that's pathetic on the male's part. Imagine being so fragile, you hate a woman that's just trying to be there for you. Y'all talk about "wife" material and pretend to hate gold diggers, when in reality, it's the opposite. Y'all are confused, ego centered, and fragile and blame a woman who is just GENUINELY trying to show she loves and cares about you. Pathetic. If you're a "real" man, you would go do your thing regardless. A woman showing you love is a "turn off" that speaks more about you than her. Let THAT sink in. Shows what you think you truly deserve. A woman who only cares about what you have. Y'all are WEIRD.

[@narrowjourneyz8665]

@@Thinking-do1ic I agree what’s wrong with showing you care these days??

[@desireeangelicmelodies8709]

Thank you for confirming !!

[@ataganabelieve5822]

@@Thinking-do1ic.. No you don't understand, am replying this late, cos I just saw this.. That's not what am talking about, every man wants a woman who cares, but don't gold digger or a woman who's selfish.. But the woman who nurses a man and won't let him his challenges, will always want to spoil him and every little complain, because she's afraid of loosing him for some other lady, the woman who will not let him face life itself, buys him everything as though he's a boy, accommodates him, feed him, buys even to his boxers and all, clothes and all.. That's the extreme I am talking about, but a woman can assist her man when he's broke or has common challenges, but she has seen that the man has done all he can to salvage the issue.. That's the woman we should get married to, a man should be a man not act like a son, like a 10 years old boy

[@noblegirl1991]

The person who helped them up knows about their shortcomings, fault and insecurities. The new person usually has no idea of that person faults and poorness

[@amandaaderele]

And finally, in 2023, I see. I have been mothering instead of being a wife. My mindset has shifted. I have been a crisis manager all these years. Thank you again, pastor. May God continue to give you wisdom to build up this generation of women.

[@valenciah9447]

Excellent message. Thank you, God, for setting me free with the truth!

[@carolmatthews4079]

The problem is Not your mothering. The problem is who you are mothering. To have a mothering nature is a blessing but everyone do not deserve that. Do not give that is holy to the swine. You Can take Charge and help a man when needed with out being taken advantage of .Withen the first year or two they tell you what kind of person they are. To change the rules in the middle of the game is not easy.

[@sharonmiller7213]

@@carolmatthews4079 if the crabs bucket took batteries, this post would be the Duracell I'm so getting banned 🦀🤗

[@sharonmiller7213]

The good will have their day.

[@carolmatthews4079]

when it is up close it is hard to manage your own crisis.

[@RamonCarterSr]

Because he wasn’t never committed to her from the start, only in for the benefits.

[@joyobadiah7755]

Wow! This message is powerful. I really wish l knew this 23 years ago. I would never have married my ex-husband. Because, l did everything for him except commenting murder. I cooked, pay all the bills, school fee, medical bills etc. However, my eyes are open wide. I don't do struggle love anymore. If any man want to date me, he has to have his life together like his career, car and house. He can't move in with me. Because it is a sin. Bible says, he leaves his mother and father. And he cling to his wife.

[@Southgate210]

He clings to his parents okay and the parts no doubt doted over you! Because they got themselves a brake but be warned! His parents won't live forever and don't let yourself go over the 10-year mark because if so? He and his parents will take you to court and demand that YOU keep him in the life style you gave him even though he brought nothing to the table but nothing!

[@rosie4790]

Loved your comment. Sometimes when we are true givers, men don't appreciate our goodness. I, too, married a "mush", they call it -- I basically did everything ... everything. He was useless. All he really needed was a MAID AND A COOK. Since we split year ago, I have been alone long time now, but I am asking God to match me with a new husband, this time to yoke me with a believer and someone financially abundant. I will not repeat that same 8 year mistake. I will keep you in my prayers for the same.

[@sghomecare5888]

Amen

[@bomberman007]

If the man has a genuine desire for that woman HE WILL NOT LEAVE YOU.

[@opuulent1]

"If a woman chooses a man at his lowest, he will leave her at his highest."

[@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858]

SELFISH!

[@suzannegofha]

Yes because he was created to provide for a woman not the other way round. At the point of meeting him he needs a mother who can see him thru his challenges, then he befriends you because he discovers that you are too nurturing, then he stays in your circle until he gets on his feet. He then starts looking for someone whom he could take care of, who does not know anything about his previous struggles. That is the person he unleashes his total love over meanwhile you yourself he regards as someone equal to his mother who has helped him to reach his potential. You are a great reminder of how he struggled and therefore he cannot be with you. He does not care because he never cared the way you wanted, you were just there for him as an acquaintance meanwhile on your side it was a relationship. How sad this could be. This education at its best regarding relationships and it will not hurt if this information is relayed to students in college and universities so that all of this is avoided much much earlier. Never help a man to get on his feet because he will later leave you for a totally different person who will make him feel like more of a man that you who helped him. He does not need your help. You should meet him when he is already doing well and start a relationship in which he will be the provider. Don't agree to his advances when you are doing better than him. Tell him that because he is broke you cannot be with him because naturally once he is on his feet he will leave you for someone else. That should resonate with his internal ego and he will know you are more than educated in such things as relationships.

[@charissethatsme]

But this is sad I’m currently going through and I’m so hurt about it

[@munix9351]

@chocolate&bowlegged83 why are you hurt? He wants someonelse. Count your blessings and start a new life c

[@sharonldavis63]

Amen

[@mynameis_Zandi]

I've learnt my lesson. Never helping any man again.

[@marjorielouis204]

Many women don't receive those type of education at home. They go above and beyond for a man ended up with a brokenheart. That happen a lot in the black community. I hope the sisters are really learning something to change their life around. We have way too many single mothers in our community.

[@dareemajones7423]

One thing the Holy spirit showed me was accountability. I was shown that I thought I was entitled to this person just because I had a kid with him and because I supported his career. A lot of time we give to people that we don't have the right to or should I say ownership to. Once I was shown this by the holy spirit, it made me look at myself as the problem to myself and not the man. I thank God for showing me how to be accountable for myself. My Father always told me there is a time when we are the victim and a time when we volunteer to be the victim. I realized that in my past failed relationships, I was volunteering to be the victim.

[@sghomecare5888]

Wow 🙏🏽

[@Freeasf]

She put him first before God. Idolizing him. A woman must always have her own purpose…being equally yoked is when 2 come together and purposes merge to fulfill Gods plan. Purpose may be completely different as well, but the spirit within two people who are striving to please God is unmatched compared to an individual helping their partner get on their feet. Inspire them to go after their dreams without enabling them. The number one question a person should ask when courting or dating is “What is your purpose in life?”…If they are not sure of their purpose…don’t engage. If you don’t know your purpose…Keep seeking God before thinking you need a relationship to fulfill you.

[@Queen-ConsciousYa]

Amen! ❤❤

[@yokithabridges5076]

Absolutely 💯

[@angelprice9048]

WISE WORDS OF WISDOM 💯

[@sunsetstormx]

Preach girl!!!!💖☝️

[@pamgraham1751]

Amen, Amen

[@missguidedytf7344]

Because no one wants to stay in the hospital once they’re not sick anymore. 🥴

[@helena3631]

A word lol it’s like a social worker ,case manager or guidance counselor the client gains independence and coping skills and they have graduated from these services

[@rosebush7000]

I tried to back off with my ex husband afterbeing on the labour treadmill for 17 years. It was at that point his HATRED and RESENTMENT towards me escalated to breaking point that I knew I had to leave before I lost what was left of my soul…17 years of giving everything with zero appreciation or validation. ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT + AFRICAN FAMILY pressures on him as first son and me not following their hopes and plans, + TOXIC INSECURITIES from ex = HELL for 17 years! Now single and minding my business - lessons learned - DO NOT DATE OR MARRY “ PROJECTS” - it end tragically one way or the other. I had enough sense to leave when I did and he used “Christianity” to blame me for ending marriage 😳😳😳 AVOID PROJECTS ladies.

[@asill.6668]

Amen!

[@carolynfrink5569]

I am a therapist, and I totally understood the illustration of the crisis and long-term therapist and how we as women show up in relationships or as you often say "situationships". Thank you, Bishop, for this Word and it has truly ministered to me.

[@achhkay4229]

Therapist is the worst realationship patner for a man , than lawyers

[@alchemicalsoul]

​@@achhkay4229If the person doesn't disconnect yes. I had a relationship with a man who wanted a therapist and couldn't get it, partly why he ghosted.

[@tranquilshorestravelagency9641]

He leaves after his mission is accomplished and the woman is no longer a benefit to him. That's what deceitful demons do. You can marry a man and be committed to him and support him when he's laid off,but that same man will be the first to steal everything from you and give it to his next target. Life lesson, never love anyone more than you love yourself and never give a man access to all of your personal information...... Respectfully

[@jesuswilljudge7296]

B Smith

[@marvaedwards1719]

Anyone remember the “Betty Broderick”story? They met in college and married. He became a physician and she became a house wife. She had 2 children for him. When he became a physician he decided to also become a lawyer Then he left her and married a beautiful much younger woman, took her children and sold the house out from under her. She went crazy. She ended up killing them and is spending her life in prison. Children have no parents. She should have said, “No, it’s my turn, I’ll become the lawyer.” It cost her to give him her entire self. It saddened me to see how heartless he was towards her. My girlfriend worked as a tax accountant to send her husband to dental school, he left her and their daughter for a much younger woman whom he married. That young woman cleaned him out and left him with the shirt on his back.

[@gapeach7814]

Wow! If that's not a lesson for all who will listen. Mmm mmm mmm. Be careful not to give everything to these people out here! They will use you to get what they want/need then toss you aside like dirty laundry. Sad...Just selfish.

[@Savingrace457]

Good for him

[@terryfaith1705]

I watched that episode 3 days ago and it was sad how she went down.

[@zero1188]

If her kids sold the home on her. She seems like the problem not the husband. If the husband and kids left her, its for a reason. Alot of times these women that stick with these men while he was broke were the issue. But most men dont realize publicly speak on these things

[@milkaorenge1234]

Very very true very educational

[@angeliquejohnson2281]

Helping a man and taking care of a man is two different things, God put us on this earth 🌎 to help people, When people use you let God handle them, God see everything 🙏 🙌

[@prophetessangelamims6112]

I agree. That was my point as well. Every human being needs help. But taking care of a man by providing all his natural needs is a different category. And honestly no true man would even feel comfortable with living such a lifestyle. These are still boys. But to be honest in this 21st century it’s the other way around. Now the woman can have a great husband and leave him for the come up. Only to find out the grass was not greener on the other side.

[@Thegazelle1000]

Agree with you. You can help him by support him and not do everything thing. A good man would understand that, a narcissist would blame you for everything!

[@bluehibiscus502]

🤣🤣🤡

[@rosalynjennings919]

I did not know what i was doing called LOW SELF ESTEEM. I am working on self love self care is priceless

[@lorrainemounts2416]

I feel very bad when this happens to women because it's natural for us to be nurturers especially if we don't have children. Women don't realize these are grown men, not children or young boys. All if the things these women are doing for these men are what I do for my son. I would never dream of doing these things for a man. You are becoming their mothers so of course they are going to leave you as all men do when they leave home. You are providing him all the love and support that he never received from his own mother.

[@JesusismyKingNL]

The past 3 years, God have been teaching me so much about relationships, self-worth, celibacy, forgiveness and so much more.

[@candiceburr5027]

Amen

[@rozelliot4360]

Yes me as well

[@daciagriffith6568]

I as well, without God in the head of the household ( the man) no good can come of it.

[@dionnemagyarpeterne3787]

This is ABSOLUTELY true!!! I learnt my lesson the hard way but at least I have learnt now.... The difference in being a relationship that is now healthy with a man who is "put together". I spent many a year being a "crisis manager" when I thought I was being a good and supportive partner... Ladies and Men alike... Be aware that the energy that you are putting into your partner may not be recipocrated... Meet your equal in mind and realise the true happiness in love... Thank you for this message.

[@catjohnson600]

Amen

[@janice911]

There’s always a karmic price to pay when helping people and that’s why it hurts so bad because that person needs to do the work for themselves and not you for them…Just remember when helping someone you can also be taking on their troubles.

[@ladyshenna967]

This is sooo true. So very true. We can get in God's way, and we hurt in the process

[@rowenanelson1737]

Strong Men stay with the Builder of the House. Weak Men quickly run to show off the House.

[@michelemcmillan904]

True statement witnessed personally

[@sunninghill6025]

Exactly. No need for all the excuses everyone keeps making up for it. Weak and ungrateful VS strong and appreciative. That's it.

[@joycewatt8289]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="1815">30:15</a> This is so very true! I WISH I had known or learned this as a young woman. Men typically do not respect the woman who has gone above and beyond and overboard in the “helps” ministry 😂 You will be left scratching your head as to why he almost seems to hate and resent you even AFTER you’ve helped him, assisted him, financed him and provided for him. I think in a way it makes him feel less than a man because the roles are reversed and instead of him being a provider you are. DON’T DO IT YOUNG LADIES …..and old ladies because if we can be honest it’s not just young and dumb women doing this. Also from my experience these men are often abusive or become abusive when you do too much for him. Broken women CAN NOT fix broken or broke men!

[@oneiroiMoros]

I needed this so much, this has helped me in a situation I just released myself from before it went too far. This video & this comment has really taught me important things that will save me a lot of heartbreak

[@shibahenry]

Wow… so powerful I really needed this. Many times it’s stated that the black women don’t help the black men but it isn’t true. I met a men that I helped him get a six figure job and pretty much did all the work all he had to do was start. Now, I was six months from getting my degree which means I was busy with work, my kids, and school. He end up leaving me because he said am too busy with school and than turn around and said I will be the one losing. My heart was crushed and I said I dear not do this again. However, I am so grateful that I stayed on my path and I graduated and got a position with my job. Now I am healing and allowing God to do his prefect work 🙏🏼. Thank you RC. Blake

[@patiencejackson6237]

You just gave me the power to make a decision in my marriage today, I have been with a man for 3 years, this 3 years I have been playing the roll of mother I brought him to my house , do all the expenses and I am to tired , before I feel setback

[@shegotstandards]

If relationship truth ever been told, it was told tonight! "Surrogate mother- son relationships turn into men leaving their mother and going to wives." Oh my gosh! What a powerful message. Thanks Pastor Blake's for this wisdom from the Lord.😊

[@veebliss1266]

And they try to run back to mommy when wife leaves them lol 😂 don’t accept no man back sis !!!

[@lauracisco2807]

I wish I had this knowledge years ago. At least receiving it now. No more pretty boys and men who fight with me. I won't do anymore " projects" of trying to please someone and drain my life.

[@lisaeve6426]

Describes my last 2 relationships to a tee! Thank you! I loved this explanation. It answered soo many insecurities...my ex is a mess in every way and now almost 36, lives with his parents, broke, addicted to everything possible, bald, fat, with horrible style and zero emotional coping strategies besides having his parents help him. I suffer from childhood trauma and abandonment and thought I had more security by helping him on all levels... it was sooo draining. His parents are too engaged and won't let him hit bottom because they are afraid he will die. It's really sick. I am soo grossed out by him. I was over rewarding and enabling a child. This was incredibly enlightening. I think about him and it's so cringy...ugh

[@godfavoredme1884]

This is so true no real man what's a moma. This is so true I helped a man do everything in my power. I got him a job. Helped try and get visitation with his son. I gave him two of my cars to use he wrecked both of them. I was catching Ubers to get my daughter back and forth to school. I was a big fool. I can laugh it at now two years later. I learned a valuable lesson. Not just in a love relationship but in friendship, family children. How can someone value something they didn't work for. Not even angry anymore. Sometimes we have to be broken to change our behavior.😊

[@daniellelewis363]

This is such an interesting analogy. I remember when I started dating my ex-husband, I told him that I felt like I was just an ER nurse for him and that I would send him back out to the world. He worked really hard to convince me to stay in a relationship with him and I eventually married him. As soon as he got on his feet career wise, he started cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend. He told me at the time that he missed being single. I should have listened to my intuition, but I am happy that I learned the lesson and don't have to make the same mistake again.

[@trudiamond30]

So he begged you to be with him then turned around and wanted to be single again??? Humm What a user!

[@daniellelewis363]

@@trudiamond30 Pretty much.

[@carolmatthews4079]

Sorry to say , He will do her the same. These kind of men never stay on there feet.

[@Carolina480]

Danielle sorry to hear that but we don’t listen to our intuition he used yu cause he knew he needed time to be ready and leave yu what an evil man karma will get back Don’t fall for it ever again always remember to stay strong and anger to remind that they try and test us be aware be smart even if it’s little things yu do for them No No more I did a lot for my ex that I don’t trust men and don’t let them manipulating me unless I’m getting something in return I’m still trying to heal from it too love yuor self Too much that yu don’t feel remorse of not helping ok

[@solcelestehernandez9480]

I am so blessed to have found RC Blakes page at 27 years old. I didn’t have a healthy enough father to teach me any of this! And although I have made so many mistakes regarding men I am grateful that I now know better and can make better decisions.

[@galejordan4570]

Yes, be grateful to learn these lessons at the ripe young age of 27, it will save you making many more mistakes.....allow to to discern truth from fiction and this is coming from a 45 year old lady who has been through some things......wish I too had found these teachings at 27.......for 1 I wouldn't have married my ex husband.....God rest his soul.

[@chocolatechickapparel8615]

You getting it at the right time! Congratulations and please heed! Bishop is talkin’ right! 💯

[@chocolatechickapparel8615]

@@galejordan4570 Ok, I’m 45 too and SMH!

[@RealLuxHair]

27 also! RC is really the truth.

[@ellahutton9977]

I’m 29 n I’m putting myself first n not tdking care of a men anymore single n not looking for it anymore I was acting like a mom/wife for the wrong relationships. I need a man that’s already put together before he comes into my life. Working on healing ❤️‍🩹 the rest of the year n next

[@yvettegietl1759]

Thank you Pastor Blakes for making us aware of this trap! Men will definitely have to step up their game. We are learning the truth about what our roles are and we won't allow any man to take advantage of us again.

[@sorealKhutso_M]

You said it!. I heard it well!! "It could be an assignment, and not your blessing" Lately, I've been feeling that so pressed in my heart with the "relationship" I'm in.

[@danilaroche1156]

RC is very wise. I encourage you to take a break to fast, pray and clear your head. Sounds like a soul tie is imminent, as well.

[@sorealKhutso_M]

Thank you so much. Advice taken.. 🙏

[@user-io1sq2vm4g]

"Fill our own cup first and feed everyone else from the overflow." Diane Johnson.

[@princessbc9791]

Men are only as faithful as their options and that man probably wouldn't have chosen you if he was already on his feet. Harsh reality but real.

[@Lakimkinsey]

Stay single so that you meet someone that’s at the same level as you. Cause it rare nowadays. But if she’s willing to help you out be grateful and appreciate it. And always remember her so when you get to the top you bring her with you break bread 💯

[@carlataylor3082]

Wisdom!

[@ritastevensakari387]

This was a bitter cup to drink from, but still a blessing ❤Thank you for saving my relationship 🌞

[@tayshaperkins5031]

Powerful message I can Admit I was a crisis care manager in my relationships.

[@zookie75]

May the Lord help us🙏

[@ellahutton9977]

I was a crisis manager in a few relationships but after this advice I’m changing into long term management with healing n time 😊❤

[@sonianatingue8997]

Cant wait to hear. But i understand that a man gets with a womam he can afford at that particular time, works himfelf off to afford the wonan he really wants. Basically, the womem that on his side is just collateral damage

[@mayam6678]

Yep, well put. Been there done that and then finally got it.

[@xicamiller9009]

This was definitely a reality check. I have been a nurturer for all of my life. So, when I got into relationships I did the same. I was just seeing a guy and could not understand why he was so critical of my actions to help him while he had a sudden transition. He mentioned some of these points RC started at <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="1800">30:00</a>-<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="2100">35:00</a>. His critisism helped me change my approach. BUT NOW, hearing this I now get it, I now see it.

[@marinajansenvanvuuren7463]

Greetings from South Africa, thank you! Lesson learned. Never, ever again will I support a man like this. He should find his way then he can look my way other than that I am happy growing old by myself. You are more of a Father to me and I thank you so, so much!!

[@KrystleLaughter]

Wow! You really broke this down. As women it's so natural for us to fall into the caregiver role. I can see now why this is a bad thing for an intimate relationship. Thank you so much. I will move differently now.

[@carolmatthews4079]

Yes, some of us are not self-absorbed people. We care. Nothing wrong with helping a man. Just make sure he is not a user. A user will leave you for someone like himself. Another User. No decent man would leave a good woman. I witnness this countless times in the 67yr's I been on this earth. Decent men love and sing praises to the woman that helped them.

[@natashadickson4819]

Depends on how the woman was raised. The women in my family were cared for. I grew up already knowing what the man is the provider.

[@cynthiawynder3197]

If you want a life, FOCUS on God!!! Let ME tell you! I have had Shingles, I was in a car accident in 2013 and died! I am in MY 10th month remission of cancer. I’ll tell you like I tell my son “ NO weapon formed against me shall prosper.

[@la_baby_khalil7703]

🙌🙏😘🙏

[@ourhannahshouse]

Wow! That's a word! Bless her Father greatly in Jesus name 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@annmariewalker5113]

YES people come to teach you lessons some come in to help you heal some come to use you some come to introduce you to let go I am grateful for all the lessons I let go of all the men that chose to walk away they were not meant for me I do not need a man I am whole without one and enjoying being single I choose narcissist in the past and learned so much by them I see through their masks and ego and really turned off by them but learned about trauma bonding and healed myself and really enjoying singlehood I was always enough and realized I am happy on my own

[@toombs6287]

You better say that💯🙏🏿🙌🏾👏🏾

[@truthseeker3376]

At this point in my life, it would be difficult for me to accept a man that can't provide for us. Because I can take care of myself, and I believe that would be a problem for him.

[@vidaowusu3143]

Too many women building dudes up for the next woman while he is damaging you for the next man.

[@purplereignsupreme6990]

Bishop!!!! The example of the different types of therapists! Mind blowing! As a black girl, I was raised to rake care of everyone. Even my took care of my parents lot of times. I was praised for doing so. My brother was pampered. So naturally, I now know that is why I attracted my ex husband who was like an extra kid. You are right about everything you said. Please do a part two of what being the crisis therapists for far too long does to a woman. I am glad my ex is no longer using women, and my hope is to prevent younger women from making the mistakes my generation did.

[@MsLotusBlooms]

Go against that mindset. Encourage don't enable.

[@latoyamartin2259]

I just made some of these mistakes in my past situationship. I have learned my lesson of being weak to a man needs and wants .The focus NOW is on me. Thanks for this definitely an eye opener.

[@simmeerolston6210]

Exactly why I am OUT as soon as I see and feel the mamas boy/narcissist vibes. Who wants to end up like the lady in Tyler Perry's Acrimony? She committed murder because she didn't know when to let go and move on. My sisters need to stop believing that a wedding ring is a reward for 'time served'. If you're not equally yoked get to stepping. My standards are high and they will remain that way. Any man who tries to tell me I need to lower them - to enable him to slide in with his low vibrational personality and values - needs to pass me by and walk on to the female that will be willing to inhale the BS. Great and timely message.

[@itsjuustmedontchaknow4163]

My mom calls it the mother hen syndrome. I find myself drawn to men like this, but only to my demise, I'm left broken hearted. They end up attracting unwanted attention from other women, and they like the attention they haven't had like with me. When they leave, that feeling that makes them "glow" slowly fades overtime, and their ego boost is gone. It's sad. It's why I quit dating all together. I'm tired and broken, and now I need healing.

[@kamakiapeter7815]

Don't give up. Find what to adjust in yourself.

[@mommies_jobs]

hugs dear

[@melroseteresa5341]

P😊pls pppppp😊😊pp😊😊pp😊p😊post 😊po😊 😊😊p pop pppp

[@startinglifeat30]

Work on your healing. God has a plan for you.

[@historiqueafricaine1225]

did you consider seeing a christian therapist? often there are unresolved hurts that need to be healed in order to move forward to better relationship. Having fast and prayer asking God to reveal hidden trauma that need healing really help too. There are also good books about boundaries in relationship and what to look for or avoid: "how to spot a dangerous man before you get involved by Sandra L Brown", "Michelle McKinney Hammond : secrets of an irresistible woman" "boundaries in dating by cloud"

[@deborahfranklin9370]

Great message. As a believer I believer people cross our paths for seasons. I have learned the hard way and am so happy to be more discerning 🙏

[@ladyvirgo9514]

I'm in this mess right now after a 12 year marriage, so traumatic. My husband left me for a mistress a couple of weeks ago. He is just putting himself In another distraction and I know this but it doesn't feel any better. This worldly stuff is so twisted.

[@koli-ann]

Some of us women are just kind, caring, living, care givers, so we do not know how not to take care of our men. I personally do not feel anyway when I help my man and he moved on to someone else because I know his loss, not mine and he will tell me one day, which he does with deep regret.

[@caimase311]

We have a saying in the islands...if you meet them dragging slippers, leave them dragging slippers. make sure you keep shoes on your own feet.

[@ms.fabulous2555]

It’s simple! bad people do not appreciate good people. A good man wants and appreciate a good woman. It’s true that birds of a feather flock together.” A good man knows what he wants in life and is grounded spiritually. His core values are based on doing the right thing and appreciating a GOOD woman. A good man is not about selfish acts. It will be a pleasure to watch this video especially coming from a wise man.

[@marvinpercival4717]

Trauma bonding stinks here

[@Steelers_Girl]

I cried so hard when I heard this from pastor. I wondered why he's moved on and treats me as a mother figure. It hurts

[@BeautifullyBroken143]

Really..it just depends on the man. Some will leave and some will get back on their feet and treat you like the queen you are🌞

[@harleyfsbo3027]

Because they are greedy opportunists snd narcissists. That’s why. No need to waste a tear on them. Cut your losses and leave.

[@saturdayschild8535]

Exactly. This type of man treats every woman like this, uses them up and leaves. When you refuse to play the role of parent, they cry you’re disrespecting their “headship.” Narcs don’t change. Don’t believe that they did for another woman.

[@otiliamanuelajurj]

And when the new woman leaves them after he became broken, they start to complain and hate women.

[@Liz-ic6jb]

@@otiliamanuelajurj No, they treat the new woman different and better in most cases and stay with her. They have improved themselves.

[@otiliamanuelajurj]

@@Liz-ic6jb I am speaking about the new woman. When the man gets sick the new woman treats him unwell and even leaves him when he gets cancer.

[@MsTiaZ3Beamer]

My Lord! As a therapist, this is so relatable. What a great and spot on comparison!

[@textme247]

*Thank you so much for supporting! Glad it resonates with you ❤. Kindly dm to participate in my current MCS investment offers 👆🏽🎁🕊*

[@orishajoseph3440]

Powerful, this is right on so many levels ...I wish this was taught in the church and schools when we were growing up to avoid so many hurt women and men.

[@Anna17503]

This is a mighty word. Insightful content in this message. There are men who do not leave physically, these men emotionally checkout. Emotional affairs or even sexual affairs yet never leave their primary relationship. Do not dismiss this message because the man in your life is still around. Turn it around while there is still time.

[@nuday777]

12 years but I learned a great lesson. Never marry potential and do not avoid red flags 🚩

[@tammysanders8707]

Vision-Seeing you as his housekeeper, or Parent Physical- Can not see you as an attraction, Sexual- Can not see you as a muse or desirable being Emotion- He is feeling unworthy, masculinity is destroyed and he doesn't see you as a capable mate You will always feel alone in the relationship because you are the only one in the relationship He has no responsibility to hold on too unbind yourself from a man who sucks life out of you

[@cassanix9093]

This was great, thank you

[@ItsWorkingTogetherForMyGood]

Thisss! Spot on

[@chriscooks5437]

Awesome insight, thanks.

[@xannaxanna9854]

My God I will forever watch my empathic tendencies....this explanation has released me. You are an ANGEL to us empaths....GOD is great.

[@judithann1570]

I once was blind...but now I see! I truly needed to hear this.

[@veronalipka3597]

His banner over us is His love, not the love of these users! Our problem is that, most of us women, we think that all the other women were not smart but we are and what happened to them won't happen to us. Many years ago, my mother said this: What one man has done, many men will do and boy, how right she was. PVEL.

[@bornaries7213]

Years ago I wouldn't have had the courage to hear this admonition. It would have been a real bitter pill to hear and painful! But today, I'm better for having left a situation just like this. 7 years waiting for him to claim me and return the many many things I willing did for him because I thought his manhood would kick in and finally appreciate and do for me! He never did. I had to realize this male did not care for me or maybe not even like me.🥺 I now see I would have had to do everything and run around in circles like a hamster in a hamster wheel. I'm better now because I have accepted what my role was in enabling him to do for himself. Ladies...get your esteem together and realize makes like this do not like us but will still use u for everything they can get! Have standards, boundaries and expectations for how people show up in your life! Let's do better!😉

[@aleksandra_jesus]

God bless you ♥️💋

[@madlynehall429]

Absolutely! We as women sometimes see what we want to see all bc a man may do good things in your life and we start thinking he is a keepsake till he show u his real side, or just leave without reason then we hurt., guard your heart and never let yourself think you any different than anyone else.

[@kTorres007]

Hit the nail on the head!

[@togetherwithalice6877]

You just have opened my eyes 👀 thank you so much. I will be wife not mom . I have saved 100k usd and bought a home 🏡 in my country. I was thinking to find a man and live in my house but I have changed my mind i will find a guy who provides me everything what I want I will hide and save my money and home only for me forever secret thanks 🙏 ❤