Why narcissists destroy those who they love most

[@God_Leads_My_Way]

They start hating you when they can’t keep up the facade of pretending to be like you!

[@JudgeJulieLit]

An interesting, illuminating take.

[@joseenoel8093]

They're confused aye, how can someone, like we're doing, complain about anything and still love the other, how can someone find fault with anyone and still want to be with them? Our behaviour's bizarre, they can't handle the imperfections of it all, then why are we still with them? Confused 😕 morons!

[@ekk.k]

Exactly

[@Lianne-bt9yd]

Yes the built this fake character off of our real one . That’s the mirroring . Then they resent us when they realize they can’t keep it up and also when they realize it’s who we truly are … we’re not faking it like they are.

[@nji7772]

Extreme jealousy and envy.

[@keithsharratt3402]

"I hate you , don't leave me."

[@user-bg2oi1kq7c]

LOL it was terrible

[@kaoshi_kutie]

This!! ❤ they truly are a different breed! 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@lindaallotey6257]

Right on point

[@ritapeters1330]

Mine once also said I hate you ...I told him better go , bit took him back

[@waleedmascorro]

"thanks for watching no im just kidding" 😂😂😂

[@kammellioo]

Imagine just clicking on the video as i have just started to do something productive while on my bluetooth headphones and my phone is in the distance charging. 20 seconds in as I'm deep into something and cant move right away I hear" thanks for watching" 😂😂. I was like huh??? Already?? 😂😂

[@ShayksPier]

lol I went into this video sobbing and needed that quick laugh to bring me back present. I appreciate all of Joes content!

[@SoniaProteau-cj6tk]

Honestly at a certain age it does not matter what people perceive of u, it was never my battle to fight, it was what it was ❤😊

[@danette26]

A quote from my therapist "narcissists destroy what they love, yet love what destroys them"

[@hopeinhumanity.]

Absolutely.

[@nji7772]

Succinct and perfect.

[@cindyradcliffe3537]

How sad 😢😢😢

[@SerendipityK-d2z]

But a narc never loves 😅

[@sillyconenavia]

Left my Narc, after 26yrs a 70yr old woman 👵 with a 10yr old temper-tantrums. They want your personality, character, morals and other qualities, dont let them dim your light. Go no contact, pick up your belongings and don't look back. Servando Navia Jr. Hernandez

[@sandraleehurst7350]

I’m going through a divorce after 30 yrs of marriage. I’m 54 . He’s not going to break me EVER!

[@brianjarrard869]

They ARE Demons…. Period

[@JulesB93]

The more I realize he's like a toddler that is really a shell of a human being, the easier it is for me to let go and detach from him emotionally. It was heartbreaking at first, but now I realize I never actually knew him. He doesn't even know him.

[@electromagneticbliss]

Love your opener on this! 😄 Narcissists are such broken clowns. 🤡Little toddlers in grown up bodies. The more time I am away from people like this, the better I feel.

[@jasonsmith3594]

There is only one person that destroys themselves is them there problems are not yours ❤

[@tinkingtinking2134]

Because their energy stealers.

[@louiseelliott6404]

He did turn me into a shell of myself but I’m bouncing back. Found myself. Learning to love me. No way is he destroying me. Ever. The problem with the narcissist best laid plans are that they are ultimately flawed. As you say Joe - it is all nonsense. Once you see that you can’t unsee it. I’m in no contact. No more mind games. The narcissist certainly has made his bed and he can lie in it. I’m moving on and up in my life. He’s stuck in his cycle of nonsense forever.

[@joseenoel8093]

Hallelujah! Argue with a fool and then there's 2 in the room!

[@susanmcmahon4733]

Totally agree with you, they are stuck on a HAMSTER WHEEL, it's HOFFIFIC the way they live, they actually sabotage their own life.

[@Nanouk2021]

Thiefs don’t break into empty houses

[@ymmij388]

Heard!

[@InvisibleWarrior279]

That last point there is something to really keep in mind. It is really only fairly empathic people who tend to be susceptible to being lured in by a narcissist. People who are just normals or more narcissistic see through their bs MUCH more quickly and cut the whole situation off at the pass - without any guilt, because they realize someone is trying to play them. The point being don’t let your empathy make you a fool. It is completely ok and desirable to recognize and walk away from manipulation when you feel it. This in turn will make the narcissist’s playground much smaller - which is a good thing. The less society entertains these people, the less incentive there is to act this way.

[@JudgeJulieLit]

Great, insightful comment.

[@gala2103]

Yep, you're spot on.

[@susanmcmahon4733]

TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU, IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE and keep walking, let them to their own devices.

[@dropintheocean9952]

A good while ago we've written the following words: "The one we love the most, hurt us the most. The one that hurt us the most, we love the most." Love does not hurt. Our attention to temptation, away from our Spirit, hurts.

[@passerby6168]

"Not my problem" has become a common phrase of mine when narcs try to get me to do things they want or the way they want. Very firm not my problem. It is a phrase I would never use in my youth because I wanted to "help". Anyone, anything. And it felt like not being this way was like Cain's dismissive uncaring "Am I my brother's keeper?" But now I know there is a difference between being used and looking out for your brother or sister. And I know that as much as possible, people should fix their own problems, and more importantly that I should not even set one foot into a problem that they want to begin creating. Not my problem. Finding the sweet spot between caring and not being a sucker is a fun interesting game in life.

[@joseenoel8093]

Mine's ok now but prior, for yrs all I heard was help me help me! Think I said that taking care of kids all day and night? "Your dick, can you find your dick?" He'd always deligate the smallest thing, making me the go to middle person which just created more work for everyone!

[@paulbennett6379]

In my experience they hurt who ever they want regardless of feelings 😢

[@annepomfrett709]

My dad had a lovely saying “the strong bring the weak on , it took me along time to understand , I was the strong one , but my love almost destroyed me , se please stay strong x☘️

[@sonlightpsalm942]

The narcissist has low-level vibrational entities that are attached to them. They are a host for the entities to operate as a parasite. The reason they choose you is if you're drawn to them, you'll become bonded to them via a soul tie, normally as an unhealed empath. These are the most delectable of victems as they don't care if you give them positive or negative energy and this only excites them via your emotional energy. Those that don't connect cannot satisfy their needs.They're energy vampires 🧛‍♂️ seeking whom they can devour. The way to safeguard yourself is to heal from childhood abuse. It's a process, but well worth the work. It's an amazing journey to heal! Don't wish them evil, as they're suffering too, and don't know how to detach from their parasites. Effect your own healing process ✨️ and become the overcomers you are meant to be! Thank you for your insights Joe. 😊❤😊

[@sonlightpsalm942]

@@amandajohnson-williams7718 They operate on lust, envy, malace, greed, deception, lying, rage, jealousy, murder, etc. They come in through trauma in childhood. That's why the narcissist acts childish. It block true love in the hosts heart when their children. The empath is traumatized too, but operate in a different manner. Seeking validation through others.

[@SalvadorHernandez-to2gq]

@sonlightpsalms924..... As a Christian why don't you just tell them exactly what you mean? These are demonic spirits controlling, enslaving and keeping these individuals in bondage!

[@user-bg2oi1kq7c]

Amen, I had to seek deliverance and King Jesus saved me

[@sonlightpsalm942]

@@user-bg2oi1kq7c Amen, God is faithful when we humble ourselves at the feet of Jesus!

[@piru2913]

What if my childhood abuse is narcissistic abuse?

[@rodking779]

I’m finally out of this horrible situation. I am just a shell of the person I was 2.5 yrs ago. I really thought I had brain damage.

[@htpm325]

"They love to make you feel bad about yourself." This statement is almost a summary of any narcissistic relationship. And in a way seems to explain why narcisissists love to gather in packs which I've seen alot over the years. They all really get off on this group like, derisive sarcasm and a constant one-up manship. They all seem to feed off this negative energy designed to make somebody or some group feel bad about themselves. Another great video! Peace.

[@dodibenabba525]

Fake assed goblin gangs!

[@embodiedmaster]

I call them clusterfucks!!!👹🤡👹🤡

[@Lyrielonwind]

Narcissism is a team sport.

[@tommyvuitton3113]

Love that injection of humor. 😂😂 It made me also remember not to take life too seriously, life is a game. Learn and level up.

[@karenKristal]

I recently had a situation where I was pretty good with a narcissists behaviour at first. I stayed calm and neurtal because luckily I saw it coming. However, after they got nasty in private and remained sweet and shy in public, and seemed to have everyone on their side defending them, I did have a bit of a meltdown. Im not in conact with mutual friends now either as I couldnt handle it. I sit here nodding and agreeing with all of these videos because they are correct.... but this is something else when it happens in real life. Its frighteneing.

[@jeffrey268]

Wow! This is it.

[@ShirleyMcDonald-j4f]

I appreciate your comments here as well as on Quora. I would like to point out that contrary to your experience, the narcissist has succeeded in smearing my name to friends and family to a great extent. Even with friends of 40 yrs. who never met the narc believe her lies. It has, and continues to be, devastating.

[@joebhouse]

Sometimes we need to detach from mutual acquaintances with Narc. Those who buy into the smear campaign, are usually not meant for u anyway

[@RB-ks7rx]

Exactly Joe! They made their bed, let them sleep in it! It’s really a sad situation. So glad I’m an empath & have seen who they really are & am glad that I’m not like them. Thank you for the videos😊

[@shirleyvanderheijden5934]

Be glad that we have learnt many lessons through our painful experience,and it has elevated us to discern other narcs in the future,and give them a wide berth! Onwards and upwards to help other struggling victims to see👀and help them to learn and make the right choices,regarding loving themselves and commanding respect by using boundaries around ourselves for protection! Sometimes leaving is the best option but every situation is different!

[@lisakippenhan8276]

Joe you have a cute sense of humor! I have to tell you that I look forward to all your video’s. They are always spot on and very validating for us! Thank you!

[@joebhouse]

I appreciate your lovely comment ❤

[@shirleyvanderheijden5934]

@@joebhouseyou have a calm voice too❤️

[@critchie]

Omg. “Thx for watching…” 😂

[@diegofaust129]

Είναι πιο εύκολο να σε φέρουν στα μέτρα τούς,για να σε συντρίψουν και να αποδείξουν στον εαυτό τους πως είναι καλύτεροι, αν όμως ξυπνήσεις και φύγεις, θεραπεύσεις τον εαυτό σου καταλαβαίνεις πως όλος σχεδόν ο κόσμος απαρτίζεται από τέτοιους ανθρώπους, γελάς με τον εαυτό σου που αφέθηκες τόσο εύκολα, τώρα πια ξέρεις. Στη ζωή σημασία έχει να αγαπάς. Σε ευχαριστώ πολύ για την βοήθεια σού, έχεις υπάρξει καλή παρέα στις δύσκολες στιγμές. Συγνώμη που γράφω στα ελληνικά, αλλά μου είναι πιο εύκολο.

[@MrMaxedout00]

Never forgot this part I Remember I was with having good chat with friends and when I got in the car she turned from being all smiles to cold face and said nobody knows the real you …. That was the end of the love bombing and the start of hell .

[@Ehuff]

You’re friggin hilarious 😂

[@joebhouse]

😁

[@Madamex369]

‘… if I cannot be you, I will destroy you and show you what I can do that you cannot … ‘ - the narc -

[@flowersofthefield340]

Thats a clown 🤡 narc 💯 %

[@LoveLess--]

Joe, I started following you on Quora because of the Torbey, but holy fuck you made me lmfao with, "There's not that much fun for narcissists not hurting those they love the most... Thanks for watching..." Seriously, I love you man!

[@humanlovesolidarity4718]

0:22 secs 'thanks for watching' , lol

[@MaryDunford]

"Thanks for watching. No, just kidding." 😅👍

[@jjones4314]

As always, great video! Loved the humor at the beginning! 😂 I used to refer to my now exN as a "man/child"; a child in a man's body! Extremely immature, selfish & self centered - like a toddler! I cut contact w/him 3 yrs ago & it was the best thing I could've ever done for ME! God brought me out of the hell i was in & I'm thankful every day that the narc is out of my life forever! No more drama, chaos, lies, cheating etc. Life is good again!

[@aktivistnyc]

Thank you so much for the this video. This was actually really huge for me - a big revelation, and it helps shed some light on one aspect that I've been stuck on trying to figure out...

[@Funfearlessfemale120]

I’ve never heard anything like this. Thank you!!

[@ChumpanZees]

I love your work Joe. Your tone of voice is so cool, calm and composed, coupled with the beautiful imagery and sometimes the soothing music just makes your content such a pleasure and delightful. I really appreciate your insight and consistency, as well as the steady and valuable input of your viewers in the comment section. 🙏❤️

[@suzetemsantos2852]

wow, this!... So good.

[@lioubovgrant1935]

Good evening ! 🍷🍷 It was lovely to spend nine min. in your company. Thank you so much ! 🤗❤

[@davidhancock5529]

This is so accurate, keep up the good work 👍

[@Gamechangerpurpose]

Funny i have been completely annihilated by narcissists , i feel berayed rejected, abandoned but not the slightest bit of shame.

[@BeatriceHosey-c5i]

My first time i knew something was deferent about my narc is when I beat him in a foot race 20 years ago he never forgot it. I never gave him the time of day when he would have his tantrums I told him it was time for him to go home. I put up with his antics until his new supply entered the picture so before he got his chance to lie I said goodbye

[@leoallan2225]

They don't want to listen, you try to make them better, but then they hate you for it. Being horrible to you is a very sorry substitute for them to be a better person, and the rewards are way better.

[@joannfreedman8807]

Brilliant as always ❤

[@SilverGoblin]

He he just kidding. Good one Joe

[@FranWood-g7l]

Love this video, your personality shines through.❤

[@shirlspark_stardust]

They can’t love anyone incapable of they lack emotions empty and void their filled with evil fake they own the word.

[@michaelminor77]

Good one Joe!

[@mannybra2600]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you said enough with in 2 min

[@sonlya2010]

Envy

[@erickonassis6310]

We had a real good two weeks, I said we can roll and build with the relationship like this. She said this is not sustainable, I was dumbfounded, she wasn't doing anything, it was just peaceful...

[@MrBogeyman00]

You got me...

[@flowersofthefield340]

Keep Spreading the Good News 📰 ......... ‼️🫡

[@CottonWoodBlues]

oh..they do know how..they are lazy...at least my Narc said he was lazy...its too much work to invest in the relationship..but they do know how...my opinion of course..

[@blaqshiep4920]

Lol needed that moment of levity

[@sammy6176]

😂😂😂love that intro 😂😂😂

[@joebhouse]

😁

[@liamg1706]

They don't love anyone

[@MrJoss-ud1bt]

So is it normal for them to act like they don’t know what you’re talking about when you call them out on trying to play you?

[@JulesB93]

Yes, anything to avoid responsibility. It's kind of a tactic to cause confusion and make you feel crazy. Like it didn't happen.

[@lisbethbird8268]

This is the primal gaslight.

[@scottoz7891]

​@@JulesB93CRAZY making. Long Cold Games.

[@reneegardner2286]

what are you talking about?! I have no idea what you're talking about! that's gaslighting yess

[@adriennedouke1880]

Think of it like when you catch one of your kids with their hand in the cookie jar, and they will look you right in the eye, (with their hand in the cookie jar) and say "I didn't do it."

[@jamesbilclough9728]

😂 love that intro

[@williamwoody7511]

My ex concocted a big blow out argument after I shut one down,after a great evening out,and a fake break up,to kick me out,then a reconcile which I threw a wrench into because I wanted to work out or find out what the actual issues were..to push me to propose,but had a just a friend she drug into our lives and used him as a triangulation device..but when I didn’t agree to sleep with her the night she chose to reconcile her way..she ran to the just a friend and even though she wanted me back she has been with him for 9 months..

[@dairy1994]

I know a lot of narcissist people that's why I don't follow these topics

[@AAKordian]

Thanks for watching ahahahahahahaha it cracked me hahaha like that much, it implies all haha

[@lechatleblanc]

i love how u have a very subtle accent of some kind... i think it might be a very subtle south african accent ? idk... some Uk accent maybe ? lol

[@Nicole-Faith]

I don’t know if this individual is a narc but he sent me a message saying do you want me to not contact you even if you contact me? I dont know if this was a threat or hinting at what he wanted to do (discard). I just don't know what to think.

[@lioubovgrant1935]

I dont think you have a good guy there, better to just let him go.

[@Nicole-Faith]

Thankyou for your response. My head is in the fog and I'm wondering what could possibly be meant by this.

[@lioubovgrant1935]

@@Nicole-Faith If you have to guess and wonder what he meant , it is already red flag 🚩 , decent man wont let you wondering , he would be very clear.

[@Nicole-Faith]

@lioubovgrant1935 very true. Thanks for your time.

[@TruthTiger]

Narcissists like to say weird things like this and the purpose of saying these weird things is to cause confusion. It's some weird passive aggressive, manipulative stuff.

[@ab-eb2or]

My ex narc hurt me real bad!!!

[@JudgeJulieLit]

* narc ex (still a narc)

[@micahrutland9021]

​@@JudgeJulieLit lol

[@clodragonthesecond9162]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@joebhouse]

😉

[@SoniaProteau-cj6tk]

I can only control my behaviour nobody else a

[@vyoufinder]

narcs are simpletons.

[@iamme-w4q]

That's false narc loves nobody

[@shell92478]

Really, tho... lol