Why Narcissists OVERREACT to Your Tone

[@MentalHealness]

Make sure to sub if you haven't kzbin.info

[@loyaldior2950]

Sidenote can you do a video on why they watch you when your sleeping 😳

[@beeswax888]

It’s so so hard to remain calm when you’re under constant siege, it’s exhausting.

[@QMommy17]

my ex used to do this whenever i would raise my tone in response. “why are you yelling? you need to calm down.” but then let him get loud i would repeat the same thing back to him & he would say “because you’re pissing me off.” 😂 awwww baby can’t handle his emotions.

[@irinaivanovic9792]

My ex would resort to raising his voice and then immediately start shouting and yelling at me when all I was trying to do was bring up something that was hurting me. He took EVERYTHING as an attack. He’s a Scorpio too, so none of this shocks me now that I know they are narcissists. The TONE I used, the WORDS I chose, the TIME I brought it up, the WAY I brought it up…omg… he was impossible to have an adult discussion with. We didn’t last more than 5 months. He was emotionally done with me months ago, I later found out. He lied to me. I was so broken-hearted. This was back in July and August. I’m still hurting. Meanwhile he’s HAPPY we aren’t together and out living his best life while I’m in therapy. 💔❤️‍🩹😞

[@Shut-up-Shelly]

@@irinaivanovic9792trust me his new fake life isn’t great my ex got dumped over and over and he kept coming back when they left him alone. Pray for God to forgive him and watch how God gets revenge for you, it works! ❤ much love sis! You can do this!!! Be strong!! He is trash you don’t want the trash back!! Good riddins!!

[@monid8683]

My ex was the same way. I couldn’t express myself without being told my tone was wrong or loud. However, they may look like they are living their best life and can be miserable inside. Stay strong and be glad he’s gone from your life.

[@QMommy17]

@@irinaivanovic9792trust me i know it hurts, mines was for 10 years. 😩😩 as i look back the marriage there were times i should’ve been ran, but my heart kept trying to see the good. he left emotionally years ago, i later found out as well. through all the arguments where he would try to belittle me i would let him know he will never be happy & he is whoever he’s with headache now. 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[@amberelle2228]

@@irinaivanovic9792my mom is a Scorpio narc so I get it girl 😒 they are straight demons

[@BrittanyAlmetaCalhoun]

I was told I "disrespected" and "didn't listen/validate" his emotions when he would clearly overreact to small things or the negative consequences he caused. Was often told "I know it ain't right, I just feel that way." Then would become MORE volatile when I grey-rocked or de-escalate the argument (threw things, flipped stuff, the works). It was such a crazy cycle! Wasted SO MUCH TIME. After 9 years, I got my peace back to heal. 🧘🏾‍♀️✨️

[@deew15]

The part where you have to Grey rock due to them getting worse after you try to de escalate is so disheartening

[@tranquility9325]

Yup. He would whine like a 5yo. Why are you yelling at me? Why are you cussing at me? I don't talk to you like that. Smoke and mirrors so that you forget why you are angry at them.

[@mercedeswalker7819]

Girrrrrl yessssss ! Always doing something like that to forget why you’re mad at them…. I be like “ now why did he do to me!” I be in a fog

[@infortunio95]

EVERYTHING i saw is questioned... he's always on the defensive.... it's tiring af

[@narsterling397]

I went through this a lot. The ex-narc would chastise me for my tone (while he's the one yelling and screaming at me) then hang up in my face or storm out of the house. 🤨🤪

[@MentalHealness]

insanity

[@narsterling397]

@MentalHealness complete insanity!

[@irinaivanovic9792]

Wow. We dated the same man.

[@buildbackstronger8058]

This is exactly how my ex treated me whenever I’d call him out on a lie or question his actions.

[@blogic23]

Same with covert narc ex. She stay monitoring my tone but would straight yell and cuss me out. Focus always on “how” I spoke to her yet she always disrespected me

[@hannahspeaksup]

They do and say anything to avoid accountability…anything to distract from their bad behavior. *BUT* they can have any type of tone and it’s fine. It’s a lose lose situation for you and a win win for them. They twist everything it’s insanity

[@Disclaimer_I.couldB3wrong]

Or they Scream above you or start cursing when you're having a simple conversation. Or say don't talk to me in a condescending tone .

[@mariecruze259]

Absolutely 💯 😂and I said something like, "I'm sorry, baby girl. " I threw him off..

[@NicoleHarrell-n1v]

Literally just experienced this. 🤦🏾‍♀️ I just can’t deal anymore

[@MentalHealness]

it's healing season

[@sylviacollins652]

Literally, ME TOO! My mom is notorious for doing this...OMG!

[@TheAdventuresOfCollegeGiRL]

“Stop yelling. You’re scaring me. I don’t feel safe in my home. I’m going to call the police.” SMH Meanwhile he definitely yells at me.

[@movementlesson]

This is why I continue to watch your great videos. This is my life. My parents. My mother, the gas lighter, talk in my normal voice - I’m mumbling. Talk louder, don’t you take that tone with me. My ex / I’m tired for the way you’re talking to me and threw the remote at me. Oh that broke the mirror of a life of narcissistic abuse to me.

[@lawyerleya22ify]

For four years I was told that I was talking to her like a child. When I'd ask "in what way", it was always my tone. I was not yelling. I'm not a yeller. I was not interrupting. What's wrong with my tone? It's the words you use and because you're so straight to the point. I quit trying to have conversations. When helping her kid with homework, my tone was wrong and it made me sound stupid. Her words" maybe you just can't help smart kids." I stopped helping with homework. If my natural voice is a problem for you, you'll never hear it again but you'll also never see me again.

[@bellerosa8462]

5:20 - Wow, this is so enlightening. Exactly what you said is what my husband’s tells me regarding a my tone.

[@MentalHealness]

you got it. stay empowered

[@TheAdventuresOfCollegeGiRL]

After constantly telling him he silences me and I don’t have a voice- Him: “Umm, I’m not feeling heard.” 🤯

[@egnimia4816]

This just happened to me!!! I was getting ready to move out and he wanted me to explain why… I told him it doesn’t matter what I tell you why, it’s the fact that I have no voice in the relationship… he was better for about 3 weeks then I mentioned my feelings were hurt by a comment ( wasn’t about him) it was just a comment and he started berating me for 10 minutes straight that I’m too sensitive and I am not to feel the way I feel.. I told him “right there, you just took away my voice again” He blew up and wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the night… the next day he told me I owe him an apology for the way I behaved… sad thing is I went ahead and apologized just so he’d stop being a total butt… I absolutely didn’t mean it but it worked because me apologizing proved to him he was right and I was wrong… so he was happy and very smug the rest of the day…I’m so tired of playing this game… I’m tapping out

[@gangGreenthumb]

Narc would yell at me... I would tune her out, I didn't even listen... she made no sense, they were just angry words. She'd yell and yell for 45 minutes and finally I'd raise my voice in response. It was exactly what she wanted, she'd say, "You YELLED at me! You have anger issues! You're a MONSTER!" I said, "If I'm such a monster, why are you here? Why are you with me?" She knew the reason. She didn't work. She had no money. Her only daughter went no contact. She had nowhere to go. Eventually I had enough of her BS and kicked her out my house. I let her stay so long because I pitied her, I don't like kicking anyone into the street, but she did it to her own self. There are limits, mine was when she talked smack about my daughter. I only wanted peace and quiet, she wanted anything but. Punted her to the curb. She's somebody else's problem now. And I've got my peace.

[@michelleeckert6348]

I have a topic for you They can't stand it when you look at them funny They call it anything else Its not that they said something whack about you, are out of line, or plain sound stupid. They see That look on your face, know you see right through them, and play like you didn't understand, wouldn't admit, or cop an attitude because you're 'called out' Love your vids 👍

[@antoniar8603]

Just literally had to listen to him crying about me yelling at him. He was texting another woman ..I found out🤬 He's ALWAYS playing the victim... ALWAYS.

[@MsFox2u]

This is true! My ex-narc used to always tell me he didn't like my tone when I talked to him. I was spitting facts to him, but he didn't want to take accountability for ANYTHING!

[@annascorpio117]

💯I was told I have a smart- mouth 😂😂

[@MentalHealness]

I meeeeean you were kinda being smart yesterday with the eagles mess lol lol lol jk

[@annascorpio117]

@@MentalHealness what’s the matter Narc can’t take a joke 😂🤣😂 it’s all ❤️

[@Shut-up-Shelly]

@@MentalHealnessyou talking about the Philly eagles football??? I’m originally from up there! Philly fans are worse than Dallas fans fr fr!

[@michelleeckert6348]

'The righteous are bold as a lion' 😂😂😂😂😂

[@annascorpio117]

@@Shut-up-Shelly why do you find the need to comment. I was just playing with him it’s all love. And by the way Eagles fans are passionate. Have a wonderful day 🦅

[@CatzBell]

He always had a toned, cussed, yelled, and used slurs. He could turn silence into a fight.

[@cleverfox1306]

@@CatzBell a great saying I heard about mine... ' he could have an argument in a phonebox with no money that one'

[@linda_149]

OMG THIS! I rarely take time to myself, so for my birthday I took 4 days off from Mom duty. 3 days our son was late and 1 day he didn't even go. I literally said when I got back that it's sad I can't trust him when I take time for myself and his only reaction was if I come at him screaming he's not going continue this conversation.

[@nancydrew5]

Give me a break. An can come down and sing with a heavenly melodic voice and the minute a narcissist perceive themselves being criticized 🙄 they go on the defensive.

[@LoveahmakeyaCrazay]

I’m so thankful I ran across this video because I swear I been through this..

[@user-kq6ps9wn2p]

Thank you. This is very helpful.

[@NateBowman-w8f]

I acknowledge you sir ☝🏾

[@IMTinaMarieJ]

Wow this was a BIG thing with my ex. So glad u spoke on this! Gonna check out her vid

[@lolxd9396]

Thank you Lee, I am not going to chase any man and / or men. I need my space and peace of mind. I have hit my limits helping this fool. He belongs to another woman. And as for my narcissistic family of origin, I have created my peaceful space and none of theses toxic people are welcome in my space. 💯🙏♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹😎

[@Froggability]

And overreact to "why are you making that face?"

[@hannahspeaksup]

That was his go-to tactic. Making my reaction to HIS disrespect the problem. It’s crazy making. They will do anything to avoid accountability. I always had the “wrong tone” so he could blame me for my reaction instead of focusing on his bad behavior and taking responsibility for it. So immature and manipulative. NEVER AGAIN smh 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽

[@Robloxplayer242]

That is absolutely true

[@sandyhill7116]

When he was raging at me I was too scared to say anything, on 2 different occasions 2 different people who were not in the same room thought he was raging at someone over the phone

[@christiehicks8443]

Deflecting and projecting yep 😮 always the victim

[@MentalHealness]

💯💯

[@BrittanyAlmetaCalhoun]

The projection is super real!

[@paula622]

​@@BrittanyAlmetaCalhounthe projection is comedy gold

[@Baconmissfit]

You cannot change tone or inflection from an emotional response. Projecting my voice gets this reaction from him, and he usually complains because I don't talk loud enough for him to hear me.

[@Melvina1975]

He would call me outta my name, I would ask him to stop, he would then come back calling me outta my name again....! Now my tone has changed and so has his when he started the disrespect

[@MentalHealness]

it's crazy

[@Mary-t2p6p]

Yep yep, the tone of your voice completely drowns out the words to a narcissist. Very interesting discussion.

[@francescamiller4340]

The Narc would say watch your🤫mouth & have a nerve to act like it was, soooo disrespectful when u wanna defend yourself.

[@Shut-up-Shelly]

I’m dying it is just “coming out of their mouth hole” aint that the truth!!! Its just like the pile of poo that comes out the other hole!!! 🤣🤣🤣

[@strawberrysangria1474]

My parents hated my tone, especially the apathetic android tone. Why pretend to care when nothing I say is good enough? Ironically, they both overuse their feral tones. My mother growls, my father roars, and I’m content with being condescending.

[@tamerastone4732]

This is a interesting dynamic. Out of the blue he wud get so angry, at my "tone". I wasn't doing anything!!!!anything,

[@TheAdventuresOfCollegeGiRL]

Tried to ask him WTF with having a Tinder account. He’s calls the police to get me to leave at 2am. SMH 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@amandamills8252]

Mine would say I had a tone when I didn't say anything and then use my "tone" as an excuse to yell and scream at me.

[@kiasunray]

Call the law to document the interaction. You’ll need it later.

[@sandyhill7116]

I didn’t even have to say anything,,he would say you didn’t have to say anything, I can see it in your face

[@Wisdomtree168]

Oh ya, I obviously have tremendous disrespect in my tone 😅 happened a bunch of times with my crazy narcissist ex. Nuts. Mostly he did something stupid.

[@LoveahmakeyaCrazay]

Not only that if you speaking facts they say you being to loud…

[@joanbennett7371]

You're not gonna talk to me any sort of way, I told myself years ago I'm not gonna let anyone talk to me any sort of way!! #myhusband #JohnnyBennett #AngelaSpeight

[@ConnieMitchell-k3n]

Narcissists are an effn waste of time.

[@annessiadelice5265]

And the bastards know exactly how to work this tactic!

[@TheAdventuresOfCollegeGiRL]

🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

[@xsilentg]

😂🤣🎯📣

[@brandnewday-nov2024]

Gaslighting.

[@paula622]

Don't like my tone? stop running your mouth and disengage then...problem solved

[@mrzkikibabychannel282]

Mine says this to me hey, watch how u talk to me. Ignore what I address his behavior of what he did to me. Arrogant s.o.b. he acts like a child.

[@Chantrell22]

Omg that’s what the Narc bd does all the things you just said. Clown 🤡

[@christiehicks8443]

😢😢😢😢 Mann 🤣 HAAAAAAA 0ooooo my

[@MentalHealness]

😢😢