Why Nikkie Tutorials Hid That She Was Trans | Kat Blaque

[@KatBlaque]

Ugh there's a whole part about her being blackmailed that I somehow managed to edit out. That's what I get for trying to heavily edit ugh. Some of you know that towards the end of my experience with stealth, I was outed and evicted from my home because I was transgender. That was the first real time that I experienced tangible transphobia and it was terrifying. We cannot argue that we have reached a place of acceptance when we still live in a society where someone's transness can be used against them.

[@KatBlaque]

I'm so annoyed. I was trying to think about what was missing. Ugh

[@siginotmylastname3969]

@@KatBlaque you have so many videos which expand on your ideas, most of us won't mind a followup and it's still a great video 💖

[@lastdays9163]

Do you think it would be valid to make the blackmail part of this video as a separate video? I remeber you posting about getting kicked out of your flat, It is a separate topic...coming out VS being outed and how that changes your ownership of your gender or sexual identity.

[@decarusagainsthumanity7536]

Just trying to figure out who would try to blackmail Nikki?

[@elliemay1748]

I’m so sorry that you experienced that. In certain states now that is illegal. I know many years ago though it wasn’t.

[@cchapman3193]

I don’t get the feeling betrayed thing. Just because you have an audience, and even if you’ve shared personal things with your audience, doesn’t mean you owe your audience any information about yourself at all. Especially when it comes to being trans, which is extremely personal and I totally understand not wanting everyone to know.

[@iciajay6891]

Yup. Her gender or sex is not our place to judge .

[@cannibalisticrequiem]

Exactly! You don't owe it to your "fans"/viewers to tell them your sexuality or gender identity, especially if you're with not comfortable opening up about it, you're protecting yourself, or you just believe it's no one's business. That's what really annoys me, and tbh kinda scares me about viewers. So many viewers believe that they have this entitlement to creators, to know the "Real Them", because they "watch the videos", "buy merch", and just generally support KZbinrs-- so suddenly they're owed access to the content creator's private life. So many will fall back on the "betrayal" card, because they're so used to the "open" personality that KZbinrs put on camera, and think the KZbinrs are showing themselves completely for the sake of being genuine. And that's not to say KZbinrs are being completely fake when they do that, but that's just the version of them they want their fans to see, because that side of them is what gets viewers to engage in the content. A lot of KZbinrs, from video essayists like Leon of Renegade Cut, to the videogame reviewers (Jirard the Completionist, James of Nitro Rad, and Ant Dude), and even Let's Players like the Grumps-- and I'm sure Kat does it to some extent as well, put forward these chill, friendly personalities that are relatable to their audience, to make viewers feel comfortable, but there's always aspects of their lives that they keep private to protect themselves, and their mental health. I've heard so many KZbinrs I've watched over the years talk about experiencing creative burnout, stress/anxiety, and even depression from doing KZbin because of how much they feel like they have to live online, keep doing things that will get them subscribers and views, and a dread of just how much they should put in front of the camera so they don't end up the next Christina Grimmie, and just how emotionally draining this platform cam truly be. They have every right to protect themselves, and the viewers need to respect that. 🐈

[@SourEggz]

HollowedJes I always find myself puzzled by people’s need for ownership over their favourite creators. I mean, KZbin is ultimately KZbin - I could care less about the personal, private lives of creators as much as I would care to share my own personal, private life online. Girl, the platform has hundreds of thousands people all throughout the world that you can get entertainment that being obsessed with their lives off the site (with the exception of those who are abusing others in their lives, such as predators that use their platform to prey on others). It is just beyond my scope of understanding.

[@Liu484]

No one felt betrayed when she revealed her brother's disease and his death

[@Ren-ev5rh]

They feel betrayal bc they probably hate trans ppl and now that they love her and discover that she's trans they're very confused Lmao

[@yasminx16]

She didn’t hide anything. It’s none of our business.

[@BeautifulEarthJa]

yup

[@itspierre8228]

exactly

[@thoticcusprime9309]

until they try and get into a relationship with you.

[@jasye1000]

@@thoticcusprime9309 yeah.. I don’t think telling millions of strangers that you’re trans and telling your possible romantic interest that you’re trans is the same thing. But sure ig

[@namjoonie936]

@@thoticcusprime9309 who cares

[@kukiepukie]

Re: Nikkie's height - I saw many people commenting on her height, saying, "oh wasn't it obvious?!, she's 6'2"!!!" Yeah, that's tall, but she's also Dutch. We're among the tallest people on earth. I'm 5'7", which is average for women. She wouldn't have been the first Dutch woman I see who's that tall. So, no, that didn't make it obvious, and no, people don't get to retroactively look for gotcha moments like "see, I clocked you all along". They didn't. 🐈

[@sandrasofia8120]

Yeah i just thought .."well she's dutch, she's tall"

[@JC-jd1us]

One of my friends is from the Dutch area she's cis and 6'1

[@Udontkno7]

My mom isn’t even Dutch and she’s 6’1. She’s taller than her father.

[@blackbarbie401]

People love to say “Oh I knew all along”, lying asses!!! I’m trans and didn’t even pick up on it so I know the average cis viewer was blindsided!!!

[@juannava4532]

I always associate her body structure to her being Dutch. I hate when people associate size to masculinity or femininity.

[@Dark_Aeon]

🐈 Let's take a moment to applaud her parents who let her live as a girl at 6 years old. Nobody talked about that stuff back in 2000.

[@Mijochda]

Her mum is clearly a queen. I'm super curious about her dad tho, I have never heard peep of him.

[@TheCatLady65]

@@Mijochda Far as I know her dad isn't in the picture. She did say her stepfather was very supportive though

[@roseclouds5838]

Material Girl i don’t know if you know but trans children just take hormone blockers until they’re older. what hormone blockers do is just delay puberty until the child is secure in their gender

[@roseclouds5838]

Poodle Wolf how?

[@polednice5653]

@Material Girl You do realize that "living as a girl" can just mean presenting as a girl without taking hormone blockers? How is that abuse?

[@herotrice]

Just a little thing about transitioning in the Netherlands: puberty blockers and transitioning from a young age is quite common. As in almost everyone I know has had a classmate or someone else in their primary school or middle school who transitioned.

[@fardareismai4495]

Yup, the Netherlands are quite accepting of transgender and LGBTQ people in general.

[@mykaruest6257]

Wow, I have a trans cousin but she can't get any hormones or surgery until she turns 18 years old. I don't now how I feel about a child making that type of choice. Even though it might be hard for her to go through male puberty.

[@exploridori]

Myka Ruest puberty blockers simply postpone puberty, if the person stops taking them, it will happen eventually. By taking puberty blockers, they simply get more time to decide whether they want to medically transition, and they dont have to go through a deeply mentally taxing body change that doesnt match their gender. Puberty blockers are a reversible thing, puberty itself and especially the fact that they went through it emotionally, is not.

[@carschmn]

Myka Ruest all puberty blockers do is delay puberty long enough to let kids decide how they want to grow up.

[@mykaruest6257]

@@carschmn I know, it's just that sounds so invasive on a developing mind/body.

[@narianasands2127]

I don’t understand the feeling of being betrayed when it was none of your business from the start. People on the internet are very entitled to entertainers’ personal lives. It’s not like she said, “I lied. I hate makeup.” Now THAT would be a betrayal. 🐈

[@tonkababic9826]

Agreed, it's her life and I understand why she did it.

[@shannond1511]

Right. She doesnt owe anybody anything. That would be like getting mad because someone didnt tell you they were gay or bi. Idk why ppl dont see it the same way because neither is anyones business. Everyone acts like its their right to know things and its not whatsoever and thats not " being lied to."

[@rouowward6917]

Some ppl have a life that sucks so they invest and fantasize about other pols lives.

[@Picklesbunny]

Yeah if she came out and said "I actually prefer a low coverage foundation" xD now thats betrayal

[@neiloswald2208]

"I lied. I hate makeup." Now THATs a headline 😂🐈

[@carschmn]

I really don’t get the double standard about height when applied to trans women. Models need to be above average height for a woman to get jobs. But trans women who are in the same height range are too tall. It’s a ridiculous double standard. Average height (for a woman) trans men that transition are just treated like short dudes.

[@MagdaAlina94]

Modeling height requirements aren’t ”as tall as possible” but rather a very particular range and not a lot of models are taller/shorter than what’s required. Preferably they should be 5’9-5’11

[@Kimmie6772]

@@MagdaAlina94 isnt that around the average height for men? I'm a tiny woman so I wouldn't know

[@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos]

@@Kimmie6772 It is, yes

[@eyevisa77]

i wish trans men were treated like short men, instead of hysterical incompetant lesbians, being treated like a short man would make most trans guys' days

[@stewieismyhomeboy]

I find the "why didn't she tell her partner right off the bat?" comment to be so infuriating, because right now, there's a guy on trial for murdering for a 17-year-old trans girl because she told him she was trans, and that made him "angry".

[@L666A]

I had the same discussion with two friends who were all about telling a person on the first date. If that falls wrong the person on the other side of the table could abuse that knowledge with blackmail or even in the case you describe kill that women over this. Just by observing and reading the news you can tell that the world really reacts different to transwomen that don't pass

[@joulessss]

If the potential partner is told through text in the early talking stages or in a really public place then the risk is minimal. Better to do it earlier than later, honesty is necessary in any relationship. Getting into a relationship while keeping such a big secret from one’s partner is awful.

[@brooklyngirlinatampaworld5579]

Julia Guerra Exactly and he is her fiancé so she should have told him before stepping into that commitment. I would just want someone to be honest with me but yes eventually she would have to have that conversation at some point.

[@ReplyGuy22345]

L666A tell him in a public place. It’s certainly better then him finding out when pants are off

[@soilgrasswaterair]

Abuse is never ok. To act like not being honest has anything to do in a relationship isn’t right. Don’t equate the two.

[@MicahRion]

When you said ‘it’s not my fault that someone assumes I’m cis’ towards the end of the video that really stuck out to me. It’s so true that many many of us walk around the world assuming others are cis, hetero, monogamous, etc. and that other identities are “other” or “exceptions to the norm.” Theres a huge onus put on LGTB+ folx to “come out” and I think it would be cool if that responsibility was shared around. If everyone held in their minds that those they interact with may have one of many sexualities/gender identities. So that there doesn’t have to be necessarily this big “surprise” when someone comes out.

[@JC-yy8iv]

Many cis people make this assumption they can always tell when someone is trans, because they don’t have personal friends who are trans and when it comes to strangers, when they don’t know, they don’t know

[@theshamanite]

@@JC-yy8iv I haven't even told my best friends that I found out I'm trans yet. It's going to be interesting for sure.

[@miaferrari958]

In all fairness, it's natural to project one's identity onto others. For example, I only recently realized, through some reading, that an ex co-worker was a narcissist; and the reason I needed that to practically be spelled out for me, is that I'm the exact opposite and being a narcissist is something I couldn't remotely be, so I couldn't "see" it. The same can be said when you see an act of cruelty and you simply don't understand the mentality behind it. We assume others are "just like us", it's basic psychology. Having said that, acting like an a-hole when you find out someone isn't like you, when it comes to things that do not affect you in any way and does in no way make the other "a bad person", is not natural, nor alright, at all, and the "feeling betrayed" speaks of a huge ego problem.

[@kyosantofu]

Her coming out should always be on her terms. People who have an issue with that are just fomenting drama and clout chasing.

[@mirarobin4096]

Can we talk about passing for a moment? I started transitioning this year at 18 years old, and while I am glad I have the time to transition now, I knew I was trans 4 years prior. Since there were so many gate keeping problems, I was unable to access puberty blockers or hormones. I have pretty much finished puberty at this point, and as such have adopted many of the stereo typical masculine characteristics. And that brings me to the point that I will never really pass that well. And like Kat mentioned, I am going to end up being ostracized as 'one of those trans people who does not try.' All I have to say is what the fuck. People push so hard to stop young people form transitioning, and at the same time these same people get weird out by trans people 'not passing'. I don't know if it occurred to most cis people, but not all of us have fucking $50,000 to drop on body sculpting, bottom surgery, FFS, vocal feminization surgery and god damn breast implants. I am a college student and already am accruing debt, if I was to get all of this shit I would be fucked over financially for the rest of my life. So next time you think about someone not passing passing go do something useful like donating to someones go fund me page because honestly, if you give a damn about people passing, least you can do is make it possible for us to pass instead of expecting the impossible form us. 🐈

[@eerieoz4588]

I think a lot of cis people like me don't know how hard transitioning is in every aspect...body,mind,finances. They see 3 trans ppl on KZbin with nice cars and better tits then them and get jealous of what they perceive to be an advantage of trans ppl to get surgeries & fame & resources. And when that clashes with the reality that either people in the case of Nikki don't want that "trans fame" or in the case of ppl like you who might not have the resources or financial help they need, they get uncomfortable with their own wrong categorisation and thoughts of ppl.

[@JacquelineUnderwood]

zoah Vano I feel like those trans youtubers make it pretty clear how expensive and difficult transitioning is though. Honestly it comes across as just malicious ignorance to me. They assume the answer then twist it to suit their purposes.

[@eerieoz4588]

@@JacquelineUnderwood I mean you're probably wrong

[@perolannes]

I'm always so sorry and genuinely shocked about the cost of health proceedings in America (I assume you're American). I live in Brazil and, even as a developing country, public health provides transitioning surgeries for those who can't afford for it privately. I also attended a Federal University for free, so I feel so much for my peers (both here and there) who are in this debt situation simply for doing the right things: taking care of your body, studying, working on yourself as a future professional. Hope you can overcome those obstacles and thrive. Good luck!

[@theshamanite]

As someone who found out they were trans at 18, I very much want to transition. I was lucky to have some feminine characteristics about me, but not everyone can be so lucky. I wish you the best of luck, Mira Robin. I think I'd be okay not passing while transitioning, but situations like bathrooms would be hard no doubt. People need to always be treated like people: Not as rapists, hysterical, or flagrant. We all are people, so show it.

[@whenthecatscry1096]

As a trans women who is sorta just getting used to sexism - what you said about being harassed by guys in a nightclub really resonated me. I seem to pass well (I think. Maybe. Probably.) so I get treated like a cis woman sometimes. I don't go out much - but the very few times where I have - I would have experiences with being cat called, and harassed. Recently I've sort of realised that if being catcalled and groped by strangers is something that happens to me - then it means that a man being more forceful towards me isn't an impossibility. I realised if a guy tries to rape me - then figures out that I'm trans - that he could hurt me once finding out. That happening to me is rare - but it isn't impossible, and that scares me. I actually had a bit of a panic about it a few days ago. I don't really vibe with being murdered. The whole subject of not telling a partner that you are trans actually reminded me of this story that I read on tumblr (I think it was a screenshot of a reddit post). This guy went on a date with a girl, and at the end of it the girl came out as transgender to him. He was surprised for a few moments and went silent because he wasn't sure how to respond, and the woman actually said to him "Please don't hurt me" because she was so scared that he would murder her for being trans. He was accepting of her being a trans woman and they're in a happy relationship. But the story kinda speaks volumes about how scary it feels to come out as trans to a partner in a world where trans people are hurt for being trans. I totally relate to why so many trans women don't tell people that they are trans - it can be dangerous for us. It would be nice if cis people didn't try to make us feel bad for not wanting to tell people. It isn't as simple as a lot of them think it is. Good video Kat!!

[@anemonedreams838]

If I was on a date with a trans person and they said "please don't hurt me," i'm not gonna lie, I'd probably burst into tears. It makes me upset that anyone would have to go through that kind of fear.

[@Jordan-db2og]

Noone seems to care about the harassment women face until its a trans woman lmao It really is a man's world

[@SuperKittenboots]

@@Jordan-db2og what an ugly, sad and miserably bitter human you must be. My heart aches for you.

[@TheMorganVEVO]

le lo Society doesn’t care very much about either problem. This is a trans woman’s channel. So she’s giving insight into her experience, along with other trans women. It doesn’t reflect the whole of society. If it did, then trans women wouldn’t even have these issues to begin with. You mentioning cis-women sounds self-absorbed. It’s not the exact same situation. Trans women have to deal with violence or potential murder on top of being sexually harassed because men go crazy when they are seen publicly sexualizing someone “taboo”. It’s called “trans panic” and it’s often used to excuse violence against trans people. If trans women tell men they’re trans to try to avoid sexual harassment, they could get hurt/killed. If they don’t tell them, they could get hurt for “tricking” men or being intentionally deceptive. Cis-women don’t have the same dilemma. Yet, both of us have to deal with harassment and over-sexualization regardless because we both encounter men. The dynamic is just different. I understand your why you probably feel resentful, but it’s unreasonable. Trans women aren’t your enemy. There’s no competition for sympathy. We often have overlapping problems. So there’s really nothing to be arguing about.

[@MaraLaBruja]

@@TheMorganVEVO couldn't have said it any better girl

[@sophiesong8937]

Honestly her coming out is one of those chilling moments of realisation that if she had always been out, she would have, for all these years, been referred to as "trans beauty blogger" ..and from this position in hindsight, I realise how odd that is. I'm happy for her that she has managed to build such a huge following and such a reputation being defined on her own terms.

[@lastdays9163]

Deception is not a fair word to use when a trans person doesn't out themselves. It's not just about conversations it's also about safety, discrimination and the right to live free of intense scrutiny. People, fans etc forget we are not in a place in time where being "out as..." is a safe or always good idea. Yes visibility is so important but so is safety.

[@orignalityisdead3717]

Also using the word 'deception' is transphobic. So many "allies" aren't really as on board as they pretend to be.

[@AnnekeOosterink]

Yes! Other people's comfort/nosiness/curiosity is not more important than personal safety.

[@dreamynights]

I thought that you would only have to tell a guy you're trans when you're about to do something physical (sex/making out/etc.) The fact that some people get angry just because they found out they flirted with a trans woman is very scary. That is toxic masculinity to the max.

[@Just.a.person59]

The fact she’s trans is no one else’s business but hers.

[@MiaBostic]

It's also her Partner's business 👀

[@Daisy-zr3qm]

Mia Bostic yes. Should only matter to those two people and they’re both cool with it so that’s good 👏🏽

[@Just.a.person59]

Mia Bostic why? If your taking medication, have had a abortion, treated for std years ago, is it any other person’s business including partner?

[@Just.a.person59]

If your partner can’t tell and doesn’t ask. The only person who would get pissed off finding out is are dips of the world.

[@purevenus6359]

Just a dude Man let’s take it a step further. If you dyed your hair blonde but you’re originally a brunette... do you tell the guy you’re interested in “btw I’m really a brunette? Or I was born a brunette?” No? Isn’t that deceptive? How about do you wear colored contacts? Oh your eyes aren’t naturally blue? They’re hazel? Isn’t that deceptive? What about people who perm or straighten their hair but originally have curly or kinky hair? Do you tell your mates that aswell before hand? Honestly, the hypocrisy is astonishing and just seems like a subtle form of transphobia. You can start being a proponent of “morality”when you stop being a hypocrite imo.

[@kristinlerch7739]

The 'deception' idea is so wild! Like did she ever claim to bei cis? Nope... So perhaps people need to stop assumming that people are cis if not declared otherwise...

[@katherinemorelle7115]

It’s pretty damn entitled of some of her audience to feel that they are *owed* her personal information. No! She’s there to show you how to do over the top makeup. That’s it. Watch the tutorial, be thankful for it, and go!

[@katherinemorelle7115]

Also Kat, I love your hair! One super important question though- erine or ryn? Or arine? Ps- erine is where it’s at. Best spelling!

[@sydneybrooks6038]

Exactly what I think! Entitled is the perfect word

[@lucia_kidtech]

I'm a masculine cis woman and I've had people repeatedly ask if I'm a trans I'm not but I've seen the way some cis people are obssesed with trans people. And it's wack.... Why is it anyone's business.

[@Weeping-Angel]

I’ve never related to anyone like this before. I’m in the same situation too. I don’t think I’m trying to present as masc as I just don’t like wearing anything that shows skin but I do have shorter hair and I don’t wear makeup. My voice is also quite deep. I can understand people when strangers would throw insults at me about being trans. I remember feeling hurt sometimes but I can’t imagine how actually trans people would feel. It didn’t even occur to me that it’s none of their business until now.

[@tempest9137]

I was absolutely shocked. The coming out title had me thinking she is bi or whatever. Trans was not on my radar. I'm happy she beat the blackmailers to the punch but was horribly sadden at that simple fact. We all should be able to just live our lives how we see fit, as long as no harm is being done. Love ya Kat! 🖤

[@spaceonion4126]

🐈When I saw a headline that she came out as trans my immediate thought was "nikki tutorials is going to transition to NB or Male??", I was pretty surprised for a second when she said she was a trans woman. But I think her story is proof of how important it is to let children transition, it saves them so much stress in later life and I'm sure drastically reduces incidents of mental health disorders and suicide. It seems quite a few European countries take a pretty liberal stance like her native Netherlands or Kim Petras' Germany (she was famous in the uk for being the youngest person to ever transition or something). Theres also a push in Germany for more acceptance of intersex infants. In the UK they're not quite as liberal and trans children is still a massive debate. I hope this changes soon.

[@jjju3]

i really really resonate with what you said about the assumptions that come with being trans. You're always a trans* person first. No matter who you are if you're openly trans before you even open your mouth you're a walking bundle of preconceived notions. Its why i personally *_hate_* calling myself nonbinary despite the fact that I am and it's very important to me. When i come out as nonb I always get that look. That "oh, you're one of _those_ people." And its frustrating. Cis people often insinuate trans people are obsessed with our own 'identities' (i hate that language to lmao) when in actually its often the total refusal to see us as anything but transgender.

[@lynchie2073]

god i so relate to you. im nonbinary too, and i WANT people to know! i like talking about it! but i know that people will treat me different and in most cases, straight up deny my existence (especially coz i present femininely). its just so much easier to go along with what they assume i am unless it comes up

[@autumnhomer9786]

🦋The uncomfortable feeling of realising that, Nikki trusted a friend with her secret. Who threatened to blackmail her. Maybe now she’s out she can sue that person.🦋

[@macstermarston2145]

I'm "stealth" because my "trans status" is no one's business unless we're about to have sex, as much as I appreciate people who are "visible" fighting for our rights, is not for everybody.

[@cottoncandie761]

Amen! I don't belive under any circumstances is your journey for others to pick or chose whether you or more or less human. All who say they stand for trans rights need to be pushing harder against the falsehood that gender = sexuality & forcing the toxicity that hides in cishet culture to come out & be put in check.

[@blackbarbie401]

Exactly!!!

[@mariahscurry19]

Same and feel the same

[@fardareismai4495]

You're right, I totally understand nit wanting to deal with the othering effect of being visible as trans. It's ridiculous how that can change people's perceptions of you, and i think that's utterly wrong...

[@punxxi]

There are transgender people that never transition, too. Nobody talks about them at all. I have seen many people , male and female are really kind of androgynous. I worked with a cis woman that was 6'2", her daughter was 6'5" and she was the shortest of all the cousins , I have seen men that are 4'11" so they are not the "norm", but that just means that everyone is different, and you can't go by looks. That being said,you are a beautiful young woman. Just woman no trans just woman

[@tylerd8289]

🐈 sorry to nitpick but you said she got bottom surgery at 14, I believe she said she started HRT at 14. She said she "completed transition" at 19 and I took that to mean that's when she got bottom surgery but she didnt say it explicitly. Wonderful video as always!

[@KatBlaque]

Thanks for the correction!

[@efolinsky]

Agreed, also even though she speaks English fluently you can tell by certain linguistic patterns that it is absolutely her second language

[@nm9688]

@@efolinsky or maybe she was trying to keep it 'kid friendly'

[@literallynoone5125]

Kat👏Needs👏More👏RECOGNITION. Right now she’s one of the few people who isn’t throwing gasoline on the garbage fire that is trans visibility! As a trans woman I just think her channel is a breath of fresh air.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

Betrayed? Like...the drama of it all. She doesn't owe people an expose into the most intimate moments of her life and those things, if they are to be shared, need to be shared because the person feels safe and desires to do so. What kind of logic? Like imagine getting mad at someone because they didn't speak about their sexual trauma, or their medical history. People need to get a grip and realise you can "love" her as a blogger...but you don't really know her, you're not her family, she doesn't know you. I was blackmailed on Tumblr into revealing that I used to be a sex worker and the reason the blackmailer gave was that I was being "withholding" of details in a way that made me "complicit" in whorephobia. Like, I was an 18 year old sex worker with issues and it wasn't really something I felt people needed to know about my past. Now because I have a somewhat known platform on Tumblr that information is, like...always one step closer to my parents knowing than I ever wanted it to be. It was my secret, no one else's. No one is entitled to our laundry, just because someone like Nikki has an audience doesn't mean she has to give up every part of herself. Edit: just got to the end 🐈

[@JC-jd1us]

It's nobodies business but your own, I'm sorry you had to go through all that bullshit.

[@Wakeupgrandowl]

I am late to a party! *Films a 40 minute talk on Nikkie Tutorials*

[@blinkfilms1]

true teas make me feel like kat is one of my friends and we're discussing the latest gossip

[@after9bars]

I know right? It's why I love it ❤

[@Kojirakage]

Kat feels like my only friend sometimes

[@eagerturtle4791]

It feels like a mad dnm without the worry of someone getting upset 😂

[@SoniaMari]

I've been following Nikkie since forever so I knew she has a boyfriend therefore I thought she was coming out as bisexual. But frankly I don't care I don't think it is anyone business I'm there for the makeup.

[@saturnhadeswright9170]

I think it’s horrible that Nikki was being blackmailed that f’d up. Maybe a video on how “outing” effects the trans experience. 🐈

[@salenebrom6476]

beau wright I wanna know who it was I JUST wanna talk

[@lucia_kidtech]

@@salenebrom6476 yeah with some minor violence and a chair....

[@sayastra]

The reason nikki didn't tell us IMO is because it's her own business.

[@Llewellyon]

I strongly oppose your wording in the title. Saying "hid" implies that Nikkie was under some obligation to disclose and plays into a lot of tropes about trans people deceiving others, especially if we are stealth or pass.

[@Taletree92]

Thought that too and thought about what would be better. "Didn't say", "didn't come out", "withheld"?

[@greenbitz1998]

i think she’s kind of playing devil’s advocate there..

[@Iwasjustwondering89]

It's clickbait. You won't draw people who oppose your viewpoint into these conversations by using language they object to. You CAN draw them in by appealing to their confirmation bias. Voilà.

[@pinkqueenscookie]

She hid it from her fiancé. Who cares if she didn’t come out to her audience. Legit they are strangers. When I watched her vid and I saw that I was like....uh oh.

[@Mijochda]

I felt this way when I first saw the title. But the more I think about it's appropriate language. Not that the inference of some obligation is correct, just the word hid in and of itself. Valid criticism all the same.

[@TheAngryMarshmallow]

Can we have a video about "identifies as" language because hooooooo lord I have some feelings about it and I'd like to know your take.

[@aspenjohnson1891]

oh my goodness yes. when i was new to the LGBT+ stuff I used that terminology explaining it to my parents and here I am as they ask 'so you identify as non binary' or about my ex girlfriend 'so he identifies as a girl?' oh my goodness why

[@RyanRogersJSR]

Official Kat Blaque drinking game. Rules are extremely simple, only one rule. 1) drink every time Kat says the word “conversation.” Good luck :D LOL

[@Mijochda]

I just had my stomach pumped....

[@lullustration5775]

My trick for getting rid of aggressively flirting men at clubs: when they get too close wave your hand in front of your nose and make a very disgusted face at them. Works wonders🐈

[@InstinctivelyTwisted]

I like your tip a lot. I've also started to head bang or dance in such a way that's outrageous and impossible to grind on. I don't mind acting like a fool in public.🐈

[@mintjaan]

I watched her video and she didn't specifically say she had bottom surgery at 14, just that she had hormones at 14 and that she was fully transitioned at 18. I haven't seen any of her other videos, but so I don't know if she talks about sex, but she never specifically said anything about bottom surgery. 🤷🏼‍♂️ As a trans person, I think all intiment partners needs to discuss what they want from sex before they have it and set limits. I understand that some people have hard limits and the presents of certain genitals can be that hard limit for other (even if they're not being used) But I don't roll with gay boys who don't like too see a boy with a 🐈

[@ashtreadwell396]

mintjaan nikkie is all about her makeup, teaching makeup, how to get certain looks. She comes across as a super nice super friendly person. I think every Stan she has expressed complete love for her. It is tough to see or think of her getting hate mail. We loved her a month ago, we love her more today.

[@DJDocsVideos]

Given that she's Dutch she had to be 18 to get bottom surgery.

[@spaceonion4126]

I appreciate the use of the 🐈

[@sablehall3166]

@@DJDocsVideos I mean if her family has money bottom surgery is only a plane ride away

[@emjenkins464]

@@sablehall3166 the Netherlands has great healthcare and gender services (the UK NHS term) so was likely still the best option in Europe

[@rachelsanchis]

A person who thinks you are lying or being dishonest for not immediately disclosing you are trans when you meet someone, is saying that they think there is something wrong with being trans. They are saying you being trans is an ''issue that has to be addressed'' and no, sorry. It is not.

[@Lufe_Stark]

people saying she lied is just balantly wrong, she is a woman and she was just living her best life and being trans, just like she said in the video, changes nothing about her. she is still great at makeup, still is a very kind and loving person.

[@dyspie]

As a cis person... if you feel "deceived" by finding out someone you follow/in ur life is trans and you didn't know... you feeling deceived implies that being trans is something bad and if you aren't sharing your life with that person in a partner capacity shut the heck up ya don't gotta know it's none-ya-business. Feeling deceived is a crappy way to feel about finding out about something like that. Why can't peeps just feel neutral like. Oh. okay. this is new information. anyway. Let's keep watching this good content.

[@yogurtfordinner]

I was hoping to hear your thoughts on this! About Nikkie, I think it caught a lot of people by surprise (myself included) and I was really angry that she _had_ to come out because she was getting blackmailed. I also was glad that she got to come out on her own terms, even if her timeline got pushed up by this. But I think it a great thing that she came out! Many people in her audience and the world can relate to her so much more now, and also people who don't have much contact with trans issues can now learn about them! But, on the other hand, I did see a headline of an article recently saying "transgender youtuber Nikkie De Jaeger blah blah blah" and I was honestly mad. I don't know, it feels it goes against what she wanted in a way, I guess? Like, to be known for her artistry and not the fact that she is trans? Ugh, I don't know, honestly. And reading comments in her video was horrifying. I think I've avoided comments from ignorant people lately and facing that sort of thing was disgusting. I'm still watching your video lol but I wanted to get my thoughts out. Great video as always! ♥️♥️

[@carschmn]

You and Nikki are examples of why earlier interventions in trans people are so important. I transitioned at 30 (ftm) and got great results because I was really androgynous and had a low voice before but know numerous guys who started as an adult and don’t pass as well. They would have had much different results if they had started sooner.

[@tonkababic9826]

As a fan of her for long time I would never even think she was deceptive with Information about her being trans. She wanted to be safe and live the way she deserved from start. And at the end she is still woman who loves make up and is fabulous. Instead of saying trans people are deceptive we should work on having society more safe for trans people to be out and happy.

[@erin_acab_vontrapp]

I am always peeping the books on yourself. I am going to be getting both Trans Bodies, Trans Selves and Raising the Transgender Child. (I have a young DFAB son.) Thanks for taking time out of you day to do this.

[@ma-ri-ko]

🏳️‍🌈🐈🏳️‍🌈 Bi solidarity w/trans folks. I really hope Nikkie takes her time to settle with herself about this, I feel like she just launched a new phase of her life. I’m really glad that this has opened up avenues for conversation and that you are able to provide some nuance and depth to facilitate that. 💖 big love!

[@sophroniel]

I'm pretty sure she began hormone blockers or estrogen at 14 as she said that she was "fully transitioned" at 19 (whatever that means). I really respect that she wanted to keep it private as she was very aware it would paint her with a wide brush and that she would be pigeonholed thereafter and her "transness" would be inseparable from her wider work and identity. There are many reasons why people may not come out and I think it's not right to ever force someone out when they are not mentally, spiritually and physically prepared. I'm a ciswoman, but my best friend is trans, and she knows that I am not "out" about my sexuality for various reasons, and that these are valid to me and that is my right. Even tho she is not "closeted" she is not super open either, because--like Nikkie perfectly said--it is *scary*.

[@Aurora146]

Bottom surgery at 14?? 😂 No, 19 Kim Petras had that at 16 and is the youngest person in the world to have had that surgery.

[@KatBlaque]

Hahaha I know. I messed up.

[@Aurora146]

@@KatBlaque no problem 😊

[@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend]

My dad is trans. I like to think of myself as really integrated and open minded. I met Nikkie when she was 14 and barely starting her transition and at the time never "noticed anything" - had taken her fully for a cis girl. Her coming out now, and finding out that I had read her wrong all those years ago, revealed to me that I still have prejudices that I wasn't aware of. I had expected, arrogantly, to just "be able to tell because I know the journey so personally". It was a good wakeup call for me.

[@renzer1432]

It's funny because I'm non-binary and this is exactly how I feel. I would rather just be accepted as I am, instead of having to be non-binary first. But I live in Western society and I have to first be accepted for being non-binary. Though the other day someone defaulted to they/them pronouns and it literally made my day! For someone to just assume that my pronouns were they/them just felt so good. It's an incredibly unrealistic expectation but I sincerely wish people would just assume I'm non-binary instead of me having to declare it every day. But yeah, unrealistic.

[@cecileestelle9448]

very relatable; thank you

[@andreaam805]

Sometimes It’s hard to do this because some people may get offended when you call them they and not the pronouns assigned to them at birth 😐

[@steinistein8611]

Pronouns are hard to guess. You could just be an androgynous binary person for all they know, and most people don't want to offend someone by calling a man her or a women him, etc. So don't take it personally. I think with more awareness about non binary people spreading, your experience will change. So just be patient.

[@podpoe]

yes! im also nonbinary and "passing" as nonbinary is very different for passing as a man or woman. we cant just exist without pwople being confused and/or suspicious.

[@Donice09]

Spotted Depeche Mode on the wall, love it.

[@bandoleerwaltzer]

🐈 Deception can be crazy for late bloomers like myself. Cis people tend to think that we're men lying to others with our feminine presentation. What makes that so funny is that we are being honest by presenting as women. For most of my life I deceived myself and others by thinking and presenting masculine. Part of the difficulty of coming out as trans later in life is that you have to admit to yourself and others that you had been living a lie. For me, the lie wasn't intentional. I was so out of touch with myself that I failed to take the countless signs that I am a woman for what they were. For those who do know they are closeted transgender women, there may be very real and justifiable reasons for maintaining the lie: from protecting one's financial and physical health or even life. Sadly, no matter how justified or unintentional, it doesn't change the fact that it was a lie, and that living that lie has consequences. Maintaining the lie, in my case, would have led to my death. Coming clean meant everyone I knew and love felt, even if they were supportive, like they didn't know who I really was. I guess to some degree they didn't. I had hidden vital parts of myself from myself and from them. In any case, what some people take as dishonesty on Nikkie Tutorials part was honesty. Many cisgender think we should lie about who we are to make them feel more comfortable in their cleanly categorized fantasy land. Nikkie was honest. Those detractors are the ones who advocate for deception. They are the ones who want women like me to pretend to be men.

[@zestinusakur5583]

This may be unpopular opinion. I feel it's her private thing. It's her business. She has absolutely no obligation to tell her business to people. It's gross that she was forced to came up like that. What about free will? People should start to care of their own business instead of sticking nose in private business of other person.

[@vilukisu]

When talking about people who started medically transitioning young (let's say that in this instance it means as a minor) there's always this envy and this sadness for me. Over like "why couldn't that be me too" because ot just feels so unfair (to clarify, not to any fault of those who do get to transition young) I am pretty early to start HRT myself, I'm turning 19 this year and I started at the beginning of this month. Still, I tend to stay away from discussions about young transition because it just makes me so depressed and dysphoric.

[@emolga3683]

I really like your filming style with the switch between perspectives / how the angles change.

[@madixsin29]

Well I don’t think you could talk about her specific story and not mention race in my opinion if she were anything other than what she is I think it would’ve gotten a whole lotta push back I also think if she were dealing with a man of color things would’ve went a lot differently be clear all the Trans women who got killed didn’t look like her so I would love to hear your thoughts

[@autumnhomer9786]

The AlaiaMizhanii 🌹This is a great point. I recently heard that black transgender people are the most likely to be physically assaulted and murdered.🌹

[@jelatinosa]

But non hetero, non cis, non gender conforming people of color get the most flack and violence from their own communities. Black communities hate black people who don't conform to their idea of what it means to be "black" and especially hate when other black people deviate from the norms when it comes to sexuality and gender roles.

[@gigilachaille5014]

I see she’s on Ellen. Interesting .... we’ve brought this up and nobodies talking about it. She gets to just go on and everyone says she a great role model and person!?!?!? The older I get the more disillusioned I become. People of colour’s lives really don’t matter

[@madixsin29]

Autumn clarke FACTS last year ALONE 20 + Black transgender women were killed And those are the ones we know about not to mention we have an administration that’s attacking us with dangerous anti trans laws that tends to effect black trans women harshly so for Kat not to FULLY hold her accountable For her pussystunting “ Was disgusting too me and know she gets to be on ELLEN it’s not surprising there going to prop her up like they did Bruce Jenner .... KAT 🗣 BLACKTRANSLIVESMATTER

[@Justaperson354]

Gigi Lachaille it has nothing to do with that it’s because she’s famous, no one knew the whole time, and most of all because she was blackmailed into coming out so it was a story that gave Ellen high ratings.

[@bmcclarren559]

🐈 thanks for sharing true tea - as you've said you lots of experience and its exciting to hear when you speak about any topic (trans and more)

[@cassandrar5127]

I hate that people feel bent out of shape over her not disclosing it before. Her personal life has never really been the focus of that channel at all. Its about makeup artistry, she's sharing her talents with the world. She doesn't owe anybody anything. I was admittedly heart warmed by her story because I can relate to it and its nice having role models who share some of your experiences. But going forward I am still just interested in her art like I always have.

[@beba3793]

I agree with you 100%, I really wish people would stop making it seem like trans women are these deceptive temptresses when in reality you cannot ever truly tell if someone is transgender, and a cis man who expresses attraction to a trans woman is not entitled to her private information because he'd feel immasculated if he found out she was trans. It's complete bull, and I hope they deflate their egos sometime soon. Luv u Kat!!!

[@C00kii0]

I was disgusted at the fact that someone felt that her personal business should be public. The only one who she really should have the conversation of being trans is her fiance. It's none of my business and it effects nothing about my day but it was her business to do with what she pleased.

[@lucythesnakepig]

How have I only just found out about this channel?! What a queen (Also that skirt is so cute and I want it)

[@JohnPintoTardisOtaku]

Im in love with the Cowboy Bebop poster in the background :)

[@itspierre8228]

Although I don't identify as trans, I can completely relate to this being a gay man. I tried so hard my first year of college to hide my "gayness" and avoided bringing it up at all costs because I just wanted to be seen as a "normal" guy and have straight guy friends who I could hang out with and saw me for my personality, rather than being uncomfortable because they feel that I likeI must automatically like them because I'm interested in guys. Especially being viewed throughout high school mostly as "the gay one," I just got tired of only being looked at for that insignificant detail of my life. I can understand the struggle for trans people to just want to fit in and I feel like that is completely valid. It shouldn't have to be something that you have to wear on your sleeve, unless that's what you want.

[@DisasterAster]

Great video/conversation 🐈 Off topic: the letters in the back drop that say "Make time for yourself" were words I needed to read. Thanks Kat ❤

[@aliciaschmalicia2365]

Brand new. Love you. You are so intelligent and btw your makeup is always so on point

[@JM-yh9pd]

I'm glad you shared your thoughts on Nikkie's video! I have followed her for at least 5 years and would have never known either, but I'm not one to "look for clues" either. As a cis-woman who has definitely experienced men being incredibly pushy in club environments, like grabbing my arms and refusing to let go until another man steps in, I can only imagine how that fear I have of violence would be amplified if I were a trans-woman. Men are often violent enough just from rejection and how they feel THAT challenges their masculinity. Additionally, I've watched all your True Teas and heard you talk about how difficult dating can be for you and other trans-women. Of course, you don't want to tell every man who expresses interest in you. Of course, you also can only do so much to try to see if he's going to be cool if you tell him you're trans before you do, and how far do you get into having emotions for him before sharing? You need some trust established but you also want to protect your heart. I definitely see why Nikkie has been stealth all this time. I admire you so much for using your voice to speak out on your experiences, because I've learned so much from you, but yeah, people definitely would have treated her differently and she likely wouldn't be where she is today if she tried coming on KZbin as an openly-trans teenager and it's really none of our business.

[@Joannime]

“I’m drinking some almond milk because I’m late to a viewing of cats hosted by some of the people from burning man” And with that sentence you just became my new favourite person

[@jillmalever7552]

Nikkis audience needs to calm down. She doesn’t actually belong to them. And her personal life is still all her own.

[@geauxienicole7300]

The fact that I watched other videos of hers that weren’t on Trans topics and had no idea she was Trans until I saw her suggested videos!! Go off. I appreciate that she is so easily passable and chooses to be out!!! Thank you!!!

[@archwayofcesar]

🐈 I think the biggest takeaway from this conversation, for me, is learning to see a person first and their labels second.

[@holocoffin]

As a non binary person, this whole conversation continues to be so disheartening. To some people I don't exist and to others I'm too much for not fitting a binary. That said, I think Nikki deserves to be treated just as she is, a talented artist with a good soul. Her being blackmailed is so frightening. I hope people see this as important as her being a Pisces. 🐈 < They should have a black cat emoji 🖤

[@shellyortiz1977]

In my opinion she wanted to be known as a woman not a trans woman..........but cause someone was going to tell her truth and was blackmailing her she decided to be the one to say she was trans i think she didnt want that term she just wanted to be a woman my heart goes out to all the trans community cause people are just ignorant and cant understand what trans people go through to be who they want to be.......the journey is not easy and people make it harder.

[@flattad5474]

i came out to my family as lesbian, am cis, and they accused me of lying to them for all my life... like how the heck did i lie? it's me always was so Nikkie was not obligated to say anything, she was showing who she was and i don't think it matters what chromosomes you might have there. Nikkie wasn't some kind of double faced person lying to anyone, she was just doing makeup.

[@sorceressultimecia5238]

🐈 I don’t get the obsession people have with trans folk having to come out to them. Probably need to have a talk about fertility in a serious relationship or a specifically trans dialogue if the anatomy is going to be unexpected, but otherwise...🤷 If the person doesn’t want to tell, then tough.

[@juannava4532]

Sorceress Ultimecia I used to be on the side of disclosing ideas you’re trans to people you are dating but then I got educated and learned it’s no one business but it may be on conversation to be had once the relationship gets to a point of possibly thinking about having a family in their future and figuring out options.

[@pinkqueenscookie]

No, besides fertility some people legit don’t wanna be with a trans person even if they don’t want kids. You should tell your partner before you have sex or get into a real relationship. And just your doctor in general, a trans woman won’t be seeing a gynecologist or the like fertility is speaking about biological women or non transitioned trans men.

[@sorceressultimecia5238]

Nessa Oh, why should she? And “just your doctor in general” has absolutely nothing to do with this discourse, as absolutely no one is claiming that a person should not disclose medically-relevant information to their doctor. Unless the meaning has spontaneously changed, fertility is the ability to conceive children, so no, it’s “speaking about” anyone who can, or in the context of this conversation can not, conceive children. So if your opinion boils down to, “trans women should out themselves because some people don’t want to be with trans women”, I’ll reiterate: tough.

[@sorceressultimecia5238]

Reina De corazones Now why wouldn’t you date a trans man ever? And why should partners “know what’s up”?

[@TheCatLady65]

@Reina De corazonesWhat if you changed that to "but I wouldn't date a *black* man ever" Listen to yourself!

[@ash4794]

Kat be like “I’m late for a thing” but films a whole video essay.. love that for us😌✨

[@holypicklesmofo]

Thank you always for your content. I always go to you when I need to figure out how I feel and how to think about trans topics. Peace and blessings to you Kat 💕💕

[@dunethenovel]

Found your channel a few videos ago via the video you made about the mom who gave up her adopted son due to his special needs. I just wanna say I love ALL of the content I've come across + wish I had found your channel sooner, it's everything I love watching. The perfect type of content + a great creator to match - thank you for making this video + being you :)

[@Coeurlarme]

(kitty kitty kitty) When you said "I'm a little bit frustrated with her" at the beginning of the video I really thought you were gonna criticize something Nikkie did. Dunno if that's a phrase you say often or if native english speakers feel this way, but it was confusing to me :(. I like how you expressed your point about transitioning young, that it's going to impact how well that kid will be able to pass for the rest of their life, and the hypocrisy of asking trans women to pass well but refusing them the way to do so. I've never considered that point before, it's very compelling. Dunno if there's more to say about this, but if you were to expand on a subject I would choose this one. On the topic of having to tell a partner, I feel like people who criticize Nikkie for not telling her partner "right away" (do we even know when she told him?) really have no clue what it's like to have any kind of coming out to do. I'm not trans, but I have another "secret" going on (high chance of developing a stigmatized mental illness which comes with preconceived notions in 5 years) that I know I should tell a future partner. It's way different, and definitively less "risky" than coming out as trans I think. But even then I still think a lot about who should I tell about this, how, when and what would be the consequence. As you said: it's difficult. I don't get how some people can not empathize with Nikkie's motivation to not disclose that aspect of her to her partner, or audience (it sounds so surreal now that we would be mad at her for not telling us, wtf).

[@okmeowokmeow]

🐈 I honesty didn't know that people were mad about her not telling her viewers. Like, it wouldn't have changed anything? She's a make up channel, not a political/trans issues/LGBTQIA+ entertainment channel.

[@username-unavailable]

Alot of what you shared and what the community discussed gave me great starting dialogue to help educate people new to this Thank you kat!

[@Piti_Pingu]

I remember that a friend of mine in university had presented himself as a girl in our first week there. We had talked for a bit and he was super nice and all, the week after he came up to me and asked me to refer to him as male and use that name instead of the one he had first presented. I just looked at him and said "no problem!" He looked at me and was so surprised. He told me that he thought I'd be confused or something and asked me if I have known any trans people before him, I said that I didn't not even on the internet at that point in time but that I just didn't get why I would not accept something that he tells mehe is than who am I to tell him he is wrong? XD 🐈 I really don't get how people are making such a big deal out of this... It makes me sad that some people think that they need to hate others just because they don't understand something...

[@theaansel8738]

Why would you tell a stranger in a club about something so personal and private. I don't think it is safe or sane to just tell strangers personal stuff no matter who you are or how much people flirt with you. A boyfriend/fiancé is a completely different matter, that is no random stranger.

[@geauxienicole7300]

🐈 is a full mood on all levels.

[@toribock192]

One of the hardest parts of being stealth is that unless you completely isolate yourself, there ARE going to be people who know you're trans, so you end up with social circles that are very different sometimes. At work, I'm super stealth, NOBODY knows because as soon as they do EVERYTHING will be about that. It's the only area of my life, however, in which I'm fully treated as the woman that I am. Around the people who knew me before like my family and close friends, a lot of the time that's what the conversation is about, and I'm treated as someone in a costume rather than someone who took one off and is now being authentic. SO what happens is that at times I prefer to be around these people I don't really know, who don't really know me, because it's easier than being around people who I actually love but treat me like... a TRANS woman. I'd rather be at work where I'm the smart nerdy girl who knows a lot about Linux than around people I love who've seen my art and know my life and SHOULD be understanding but aren't. Being in this position is scary, because the possibility of people at work finding out means losing the only social environment in which I'm treated like one whole person, rather than a new pretend person painted over an old real person. 🐈

[@dionnethedivine]

When this was appearing everywhere as news, one of my first thoughts was, "Wow I can't wait to see if Kat finna buss out fiyah observations and lit conversations", and then you did. wow. thank youuuuuuu!!!

[@LunaBloom99]

🐈 You mentioned something that stuck out to me - men becoming more comfortable with pursuing us once they see (or hear about) other men doing so. It's infernal. And I wanna hear you tawk about it more, please.

[@louloudaki_]

kat: grab yourself something to drink me: *runs for the cream soda*

[@2swaggyt]

Wow I know how it’s hard coming out so I’m really proud of her for coming out that was really brave for her!

[@avirei98]

Also to all the trans girls reading this, in my opinion, if you are not my doctor or if we're not going to be intimate it's really none of your business that I am trans. When I meet guys online I will let them know before we meet for safety reasons. Any guy I'm eating person unless we are going to be intimate I don't say anything when guys are forceful at clubs I try to quickly remove myself from the situation. Even though I feel like I don't 100% pass cuz I don't wear a lot of makeup and I haven't had hair removal yet I just shave almost every other day it is the thing I am most insecure about on the days I'm not wearing color corrector I'm becoming very self-conscious like the whole world is just looking at me and they know. But I seem to only get clocked by kids and people in the LGBT. But ladies please do not hide it intentionally if it's someone that you plan on being intimate with. But it's really nobody's business.

[@ChristyAbbey]

🐈 So... it would be nice to pass. My gf, who I was dating when I was still presenting as a man (I came out to her a few months in when I figured it out) and who is stealth herself, just broke it off with me two years in because I don't pass. I'm over 50, a pro musician, a youtuber, and there is no damn way I can go stealth, and I'm working at passing, but I don't think I'll ever be there. I think it finally hit me how it is to be with someone who is misgendered, as I went to lunch today with a trans man, and the server greeted us as "ladies"... I'm wandering a bit here... Nikkie, that was the subject. I watched her before I came out--the only makeup blogger I watch ever--because she was passing trans (she was outed in 2017, which has yet to be part of the conversation), and I like glitter in the eye crease. I did see the video in question, and all of this stuff in my own life was crashing in. Hmmm... I had a comment, but it would turn into an essay. Suffice to say that I'm of two minds about passing. I don't know if it's safer to do so or if it's safer not to so everyone knows where they stand. Yet it would also be nice to just be a woman in a space sometime. Sigh.

[@cayh3039]

Christy Abbey she was outed in 2017? Where on the interweb?

[@its_the_bird]

Why would someone break up with you because you can't pass (in their words?), but they have the privilege of being able to? That's so incredibly messed up to me. I don't pass all the time rn (not even a year yet on T), but I've never been upset at someone when said person I'm with gets misgendered, even if it means I'm misgendered or outed in the process. Idk, it just seems so cruel that someone would ditch you because you couldn't uphold (what is for many trans people) an impossible ideal that is often kind of toxic to conform to 100%. :/ It just makes me feel sad and aghh I'm sorry that happened to you.

[@dylanhicks4771]

🐈 Can we just, real quick, throw some side eye at all the Cishet people in the comment threads about Nikkie coming out saying “I KNEW ALL ALONG I ALWAYS KNEW” like stfu Carl you’re not fooling anyone.

[@Ziksua]

🐈 I adore your videos!!

[@KatBlaque]

Aw thank you!!

[@rvakc19]

Just discovered your channel via D’Angelo’s channel and I am happy ... learning all about trans, queer ... etc without feeling like a creep because I have questions and curiosity to understand and comprehend the humanity of being human ... thanks 🙏🏾

[@adoresessy101]

Really liked this video! Honestly, as someone who's just kinda getting into makeup and having seen Nikkie's video, the one thing that really stuck in my mind was that she made the untimely coming out bc she was blackmailed. Just keeping that in mind, it's absolutely understandable why she was stealth for so long. As always, great content, Kat! 🐈

[@nellybeans0368]

Omg how am i just learning this i watched her videos quite a few times love her vibe deadass didn't know i know its popped in my head once or twice but as a quick thought 😂 im glad nikki can be herself and u as well❤

[@stargirl1597]

Wow! I'm so glad that I came across this video/your channel. From the first few minutes I thought, 'How elegant and eloquent this lady is'

[@JadeDRail]

When you said "the main theme is deception" my brain just starting playing that part from the second Lion Kind. "deceeeeeptionnnnnnnn, disgraaaaaaaace"

[@gigilachaille5014]

Jaded Sweetness 😂😂😂

[@roadtojason.theythem]

This was a really highly anticipated video from me and I got out of class super early so for once I had to wait for it to come out (coming out lol). Anyway, amazing conversation as always 🐈🐈

[@marthel.7849]

Thanks for being you, sharing your story, educating people, and being open about your opinions. I hope a lot of people will learn from your values and reflection upon society.