Why Parkzer hates hypothetical questions

[@bossapocalypse]

Doug got so disappointed that his question got answered immediately when he just said parkzer wouldnt answer it so he just spent as much time as possible figuring out how he could get parkzer to kill him in war

[@YTflagsCommentsOnMentalIness]

He didn't answer the 2nd one fully (if the shooting was legal). He just said that since the smoking was legal he would do that one.

[@Mr.Almonds]

He also started talking about the laws of the water craft

[@officedrone6167]

Parkzer not knowing who Genghis Kahn is gives the same energy as Sherlock not knowing the moon revolves around the earth

[@Theology.101]

the moon doesnt revolve around the sun, sherlock didnt know it revolved around earth

[@Cats-TM]

To be fair, as Sherlock said, it is not that neccesary to know.

[@tbotalpha8133]

@@Cats-TM Counterpoint: it's impossible to know ahead of time what knowledge might actually be useful to you in the future. It's better to know as much as possible, than wilfully embrace ignorance.

[@SeveralGhost]

​@@Cats-TM not knowing things is how you start learning things based on a flawed premise. If you didn't know about stellar orbits, maybe that flat earth argument actually holds some water.

[@Cats-TM]

@@tbotalpha8133 Good point. Though, I kind of messed up what Sherlock said. Really, what he said stuff like that takes up space for more important things. Still accurate response to that premise though.

[@12_terabyte57]

Parkzer is the perfect straight man for Doug’s humor

[@LordGecko9291]

I don't think people realize that they play this bit and are aware of it

[@DougSalad]

​@@LordGecko9291To be fair, the bit is evergreen. It's been years and it's still just as hilarious to me

[@getthedunkon9347]

Doug's humor is more dependent on who he's with. He can play straightman with twitch chat, unhinged with Parkzer and somewhere in-between for everyone else.

[@Hamburger92]

Doug is the perfect gay man for Parkzer's humor

[@Sylvatic98]

water is wet

[@vandam6057]

I love these "why Parkzer doesn't blank" titles cause it's either "why Parkzer doesn't like hypotheticals" or "Why Parkzer won't sell his soul and become one with Doug"

[@Tigerleenf]

Or make a shit pact

[@__-be1gk]

Frankly I'm interested in why Parkzer does or doesn't do anything

[@ClassyCorgi]

@@__-be1gk The reason behind anything Parkzer does is always far more fascinating then you'd imagine

[@Neefew]

1:13 I like that Parkzer's response implies that the only thing preventing him from shooting Doug is the fact that it is illegal

[@boxcar9407]

It does not imply that. That is entirely you.

[@Videanty]

@@boxcar9407that sounds like what parkzer would say

[@boxcar9407]

​@@Videantylol. true

[@Tbonezz11]

@@boxcar9407 he said "of the two i would pick the one that is legal." therefore if shooting doug was legal, and since he didnt provide any other reasoning as to why he wouldnt shoot doug, it is implied that he only wont shoot doug because its illegal

[@a_puntato29]

@@boxcar9407 god be quiet

[@jinwoo2325]

Parkzer Plays "Trolley Problem" or "Will you press the Button" Maybe make a chat version , with chat questions, choices ,& poll then make doug and Parkzer play it

[@greedyProphet]

You could probably have A Crew vs Z Crew play Trial by Trolley with Parkzer as the conductor each time.

[@LinkeasZ]

​@@greedyProphet that's so funny, it could be something "would you ban this chatters who said rigged or these other whose first letter from their username is A?"

[@Tsunamicat108]

he should definitely play absurd trolley problems

[@theunicyclist3440]

Parkzer was a teacher's worst nightmares when they did icebreakers with "what if" questions

[@cardboard9124]

“What if you were stranded on a desert island and could only bring one movie” Parkzer: “I would rather not answer this question, as it is so out of bounds of anything realistic. I would rather be focusing on food and shelter rather than movies”

[@hitihautriponel419]

I love how Parkzer straight up begins with "I have to leave in an hour. Will it take more than an hour ?"

[@Paul_Bedford]

He is aware about how long his 5 minute coding adventures take

[@DanilegoPlays]

He knows his pal Douglas Douglas too well

[@diano357]

The friendship between these two very different people makes me believe in humanity.

[@Cye_Pie]

Harry du Bois and Kim Kitsuragi vibes

[@Vashjxn]

@@Cye_Pie it’s literally an exact parallel lmao

[@MetaKaios]

@@Cye_Pie It was Ernie and Bert for me.

[@negativefg7922]

​@@Cye_PieConceptualisation: "Parkzer would not answer this question." Encyclopedia: "Parkzer has a general dislike towards hypothetical questions. You would need to change the scenario to be possible, or akin something realistic" Authority: "You can talk him into it, don't back down from it" Ask Parkzer Leave it at that

[@Amirrorofmirrors]

“WERE YOU SMOKING MARINARA?!” -parkzer parkzer

[@ValueNetwork]

“I get very bored when I study history”: Parkzer, after trying to create the most boring and legally sound way to shoot someone for the past 15 minutes!

[@Bry-Guy909]

Well, it wasn't history, it will probably happen in the near future.

[@joecastle288]

You found this boring?

[@metal100k]

Hypothetical: doug and parkzer are working together in a fbi drug ring break up operation and doug is caught and has a gun to his head. Parkzer is next to the boss where doug is captured and needs to casually smoke weed in order to not blow his cover and talk the boss down from shooting doug so parkzer can take care of him and possibly save him

[@TheMochaMadness]

We actually NEED an answer, I think it may just work

[@HelloIAmAnExist]

0:45 I love that it's honestly a valid question considering a lot of their calls

[@milton5609]

I’m the 111th like

[@buggerofallhell1153]

Parkzer mistaking gengis khan for kangeskan is isane

[@snaifhassnan6348]

theres two layers, someone as media illiterate as him knowing a random pokemon and a man as smart as him not knowing genghis khan

[@mbcodgie]

​@@snaifhassnan6348 you could literally be a nasa scientist and not know gengis khan, intelligence is subjective

[@schwarz8614]

⁠​⁠@@mbcodgieno he couldn't, that's ridiculous. Any Nasa scientist would atleast need a higher education and then there is no way you wouldn't know Gengis Khan.

[@nightcapmain2699]

Translating this comment to English turns “isane” to “male” lol

[@aggrave790]

@@mbcodgie can't believe you don't know about the 5 page genghis khan essay every potential nasa employee has to write. are you stupid?

[@caseyjarmes]

The fact that Parkzer knows laws of warfare but somehow doesn’t know who Genghis Kahn is

[@SatumitheNeet]

But he knows kangaskhan

[@comradecameron3726]

But he doesnt know the laws of warfare. He says it like eight times.

[@yeetsterskeetster4879]

Actually *how* does Parkzer know Kangaskhan the pokemon and not Genghis Khan the historical figure?

[@simoneazzoni3882]

He is literally trolling

[@stumpybumpo]

he just misheard

[@strongerthanever2039]

He's Asian.

[@Theology.101]

@strongerthanever2039literally the part of the world who has been dealing with mongols the longest

[@oreo10101]

I think he does know but somehow it’s at the bottom of his knowledge pyramid so he thought of Kangaskhan before Genghis Khan

[@BigBrezzy]

Imagine if the "LGBT rights or economic stability" TikTok guy had run into Parkzer that day instead of the ponytail Bluetooth headset guy

[@oreo10101]

Someone should make a version of that video where the ponytail guy’s voice is AI dubbed with Parkzer’s voice

[@greyscaleadaven]

If he asked Doug, it would have somehow devolved into "RGB lights or economist stabability"

[@glossyplane542]

“How would I be in a situation where I’d have to choose between those two things specifically? It’s just not realistic enough it’s impossible to answer”

[@oreo10101]

@ No Doug would ask if Parkzer would shoot him to protect LGBT rights and economic stability

[@Aescalona]

You absolutely nailed the Parkzer ​tone @@glossyplane542

[@תומרח-פ1י]

"Genghis Khan" "That's a pokemon!" -parkzer, 2024(?)

[@Prod.Dizzy0nz]

I laughed so hard at this

[@Login2play]

I love how Doug could have just said they were in a country where weed was illegal, but instead he went down a whole road of going to war

[@ferret2308]

10:15 dougs cough when he comes back is the cherry on top

[@shitpostingstevebecauseall6279]

Why didn't they just pivot to the other scenario: both of those things being illegal, because that is the case in a bunch of states. Much less hypothetical.

[@Ikethelord3]

Parkzer still wouldn't answer it without introducing some circumstances that made it legal like a self-defense situation. I guess the final verdict is that Parkzer would absolutely shoot Doug if it was legal but wouldn't smoke weed regardless of legality.

[@JangoMango007]

Parkzer doesn’t bring his gun when he travels iirc

[@masterlinktm]

@@Ikethelord3 "l but wouldn't smoke weed regardless of legality." What? He chose weed early on in the video before everything went sideways. He chose is specifically because it is legal. Which is why they went on the huge tangent trying to make it legal to shoot Doug.

[@bumbleshanks_]

"White (the skin color) is a state of mind" is the truest statement Doug said in this video

[@TrueTwilightGrim]

Dougdoug: would you love me if i was a worm? Parkzer: but you're not. Dougdou: but if i was? Parkzer: then we would have never met. Dougdoug: but what if you looked down saw a worm, and it was me? Parkzer: then i would not have known it was you and this is illogical

[@alcatraz_island]

8:11 i am losing my mind at the comedic timing of “that’s a pokemon” bravor parkzer 10/10

[@stevenl9395]

It’s so funny that Doug’s incessant pressure to get Parkzer to answer continuously more ridiculous hypotheticals forces parkzer to go from reasonable logic like “I won’t shoot you” to confused ideas like “there’s an ethnical difference between northern and southern koreans”

[@RedHorseArcher]

These two make me feel like they're the Tequila Sunset and the Kim Kitsuragi of real life. While Parkzer tries to convince Doug to "Let's just do the taxes", Doug tries to slide down a cliff on an air mattress into the lake, singing raunchy songs in Irish.

[@darkpigeon576]

DAMN YOU ARE SO CORRECT

[@goodmorning8674]

I HAD THE SAME THOUGHT LMAO 😭

[@DestructiveAuto]

4:32 BRO PARKZER COMPLICATED THE QUESTION SO MUCH DOUG FORGOT THE ORIGINAL QUESTION 😂😂😂

[@jstar3382]

I think he hates Doug's hypotheticals, specifically

[@MadContendery]

parkzer would die from zach oneyplays

[@robo3644]

The fact that i also zoned out at 11:30 and didnt listen to parkzer at all made this video so much better

[@IDKisReal2401]

Dou videos being longer than five minutes is always strange

[@cuenta2-n1v]

Dou is bald

[@SenrabMJam]

Dou

[@bottleofsyrup9916]

oudou keeps his vids short

[@halfsine]

doudou

[@ekki1993]

​@@cuenta2-n1vDou is bal

[@NoamAgai]

As an aphantasiac, I apparently no longer qualify to be a human. Thanks, Doug

[@adurwenzli]

I love that Doug can derail conversations with Parkzer just as much as Chat with Doug's streams.

[@_dx_dy]

I love how Doug gets Parkzer going

[@wumbojet]

Parkzer is clearly a very smart guy, but i feel like it's really interesting how some people are genuinely incapable of engaging in hypothetical thinking because they don't understand why it's useful or interesting. Not being interested in historical topics while working a field adjacent to law is also very crazy ngl. Also, yeah, doug joked about whiteness being a state of mind, but it actually is in a sense. Whiteness is not in fact a traditional ethnicity, it is a social designation based upon exclusion. Historically irish and Italian people weren't considered white.

[@AlphaetusPrime]

I'm losing my mind at Parkzer being more familiar with Kangaskhan than Genghis Khan

[@rasengdori13]

Doug: “Parkzer won’t answer the question.” Parkzer: (immediately answers the question) Doug: “see I told you guys he wouldn’t answer the question!”

[@tartipouss]

Their duo is basically "ADHD" and "Autism", and it's sooooo good

[@AshDeGirl]

0:20 master debater vibes

[@Blastia2k]

Weird timing

[@originalname8541]

i love master debating

[@anipodat394]

🗿Neither.🗿 🤡 Bro, if you HAD to either smoke weed or shoot me, which- 🗿That is not a realistic situation and I don't have to do either.🗿

[@digitalscott7732]

on one hand, Parkzer is excellent at playing a straightman to DougDoug’s comedy. on the other hand, Parkzer seriously knows how to make something as unfun as humanly possible.

[@jackterrariangamer2783]

Parkzer is my spirit animal

[@jstar3382]

10:40 dear god the fucking smile after he says that he's been plotting this entire exchange while shitting

[@SentinalSlice]

Parkzer has a point. Doug needs to up his question game. Keep it legal but undesirable.

[@PRLCKLY]

Parkzer alt account is writing this

[@JJAB91]

Parkzer isn't even human. He is something else.

[@bathamsteryt]

No, he is human.

[@UltimateKyuubiFox]

Some humans are built different.

[@PennyO_O]

Yeah, He's Korean.

[@arrogantbandit1]

Just always take Parkzer to the Apocolypse. "So, after the world's ended and we're in the Apocolypse where laws don't apply anymore". "Yes, that sounds plausible, go on.."

[@TopHat1711]

I don't know what the rest of the video would be, but after Parkzer said "Will this take more than an hour and twenty minutes?" I did have a hope that this video would be 1:20+

[@kaikrassin8096]

I'm honestly with Parkser here. I hate hypotheticals where I give an answer and then the person asking the questions keeps adding dumb conditions to sway me to a specific answer. The whole point was what I would choose. Not what you want me to choose.

[@UltimateKyuubiFox]

They wanna know if or when you would choose it, see how strong your aversion is.

[@PatheticApathetic]

No, the point was to gauge what it would take for you to choose the other option

[@matthew4309]

It's really not hard to say "I'd rather smoke weed than shoot my friend regardless of both options being legal or illegal" to be fair to this specific question though.

[@Id_k_]

It's kinda crazy how much Parkzer knows ngl

[@Vashjxn]

He especially knows a lot about Genghis Khan

[@Leafbox5]

Literally the one thing I'm hyping about is the fact that DougDoug (or the Clips editor) knows the Deponia OST, or at least one of it's background tracks. 3:31 is where it starts.

[@lumya9279]

I love Deponia so much, I’m always so surprised when somebody knows this exists 😂

[@Leafbox5]

@@lumya9279 Yeah, it's a cool game. Doug should play it.

[@hoojamadinaa]

2:31 you know what else you can imagine

[@halfsine]

all the people

[@aidanporter2483]

Imagine if ninja got a low taper fade 🗿🟦

[@Fire_Crystal]

@@aidanporter2483go away

[@froolsy]

Dragons

[@aarepelaa1142]

Deez nuts

[@dvision4203]

And, yet, Parkzer did once consider the possibility of Doug threatening to blow up a hospital while having a bomb attached to his heart. Does this mean he considers this plausible⁉️

[@danielwalker8133]

4:09 Parkzer is a hollywood star?!

[@cuenta2-n1v]

Always has been

[@frenchertoast]

He's a well known pornstar

[@JaymieSword]

Doug: Can you use something called imagination, which is a thing human beings have Parkzer: That's basically impossible

[@oreo10101]

I feel like parkzer is the smartest idiot in the world

[@rubberduck8096]

Either this or the dumbest genius.

[@WhoStoleKirya73]

​@@rubberduck8096 that would be Doug

[@Sporkyz74]

​@@WhoStoleKirya73personally I think parkzer is the dumbest genius, and Doug is the smartest idiot.

[@oreo10101]

@@Sporkyz74 Parkzer and Doug both are decently smart but Parkzer is the smartest idiot in the sense that it feels like he’s a genius but is only decently smart while Doug’s the dumbest genius in the sense that it feels like he’s a complete idiot but is actually decently smart

[@SamsUndertale]

I LOVE how Parkzer's go-to response to being dragged into hosting DouglasDouglas's chat is just to bust out a Q&A

[@peterstangl8295]

Parkzer is a real life Spock

[@PRGME7]

Honestly he gives me more Data vibes than Spock.

[@TheOnlyBloke]

"Is 'white' an ethnicity or a nationality?" - ParkzerParkzer 2024

[@JJ-zy1co]

How is it possible to live on earth and not know who Genghis Khan is

[@dasamont8274]

Umm, medieval peasant?

[@tzeroocne5409]

Easy, just don't study

[@paradoxxikal7327]

Doug should create a dnd campaign for Parkzer that’s secretly just a way to get him to answer a bunch of hypotheticals

[@thecrab7871]

Parkzer would kill Doug in war confirmed

[@Whatiwanttowatchbrowhere-bt8iw]

Parkzer is so normal he loops back around into being the strangest person in the entire universe.

[@Godifierr]

I was fully expecting parkzer to give kangaskhan facts while doug was doing the bathroom

[@holyheretic3185]

He could shoot you in the murder zone! While it's not legal he technically couldn't be charged with a crime since no one lives there and you have to be judged by a jury of your peers.

[@austinbailey4605]

Do people still believe this? Or is it just a joke I’m not in on

[@holyheretic3185]

@austinbailey4605 it's more a technically thing. When you you murder someone you have to be tried by a jury of your peers, the murder zone is less than 1mile and no one lives there. So you can't have a jury since there's no jury pool to pick from and picking ppl who AREN'T apart of the state where it happened would set an incredibly bad precedent.

[@CaptainPlayguy]

"That's a pokemon" Parkzer is not real

[@StarClay666]

The funniest thing in all of this is doug not knowing if military service in North Korea is voluntary .

[@Number_055]

God love Parkzer

[@drewstillexists]

It's impossible to guess what kind of general knowledge Parkzer will have.

[@InasApos]

14:16 - true

[@mr.diamondboots1747]

I like that asking if Parkzer would “smoke Doug” could mean to smoke him or to shoot him making it harder for him to interpret.

[@bluedemontr-whisperofwind-2296]

I got jumpscared by the Master Duel OST

[@georgeweber9396]

right? i heard the OST kick in and immediately looked to see if i drew ash blossom. than i realised its a dougdoug vod

[@cleanseroftheworld]

White Woman Jumpscare theme song (Goddess of the Underworld)

[@Censurami]

I love how he just spirals when it comes to the crazy shit doug says

[@kaihowery3421]

"The foundation of your question isn't really very solid" roasted dude

[@__-be1gk]

"I don't want to call him all the time" he lied as easily as he breathed

[@lizardskynard4726]

the scene where they stop and address the audience in austin powers like “just try not to think about it too much and have fun.” was made for people like parkzer

[@remipicard162]

“That’s a pokemon” Legend

[@emjayrogers1987]

8:09 I wasn’t expecting Parkzer to be more familiar with Kangaskhan than Genghis Khan

[@oreo10101]

Oarkzer

[@AamazingSphinx]

i am actually seething that Doug said we don't know much about 1000 years ago i have a 600 page book all about Genghis Khan.

[@emeruen]

parkzer can be genuinely frustrating sometimes

[@Quadrilli0n]

Ah yes, a 14 minute 'clip'. Best content.

[@echothealien9740]

Parkzer is the captain holt of real life

[@dattromboneguy]

5:03 "Would you mind moving to the other country?" "N-No." "You wouldn't mind? Cool" 😂😂😂😂

[@jynx7788]

I love how Parkzer is just as dumb as Doug but in a really smart way.

[@halfsine]

he spent all of his intelligence on reading traffic laws

[@SeikOsito]

I like that doug took things to international waters, illegal weed usage, or military enemy and not just "You shoot me as a bullet vest test"

[@alecopedia5744]

Parkzer is like the genie that will twist your wish because you didn't word it in an extremely specific way.

[@sirhawkjames]

“Did you just ask if I want cigarettes?” just demolished me for some reason

[@MattzGamez999]

Parkzer is like Chatgpt when it says “as a ai language model, I can not answer this question”

[@SuperCrazyfin]

I like how Parkzer ignores the "or Marijuana is Illegal" which is VERY common

[@MCR_56]

Doug and Parker have the craziest chemistry yet are completely different

[@FloatingAmongTheCosmos]

Can't wait for the sequel for this titled "Why Parkzer hates questions", proving how much of a criminal he truly is that cannot hold himself back from committing crimes.

[@ToniGAM3S]

3:30 holy shit the Deponia ost, good choice brother.

[@LuciusDidus]

I'm staying (C) Parkzer

[@ZeekarPRIME]

I love parkzer so much

[@General12th]

Doug and Parkzer are perfect for each other.

[@linkplayz0]

dougdoug clip from less that 2 minutes ago holy shit…

[@Radi_vvanker]

I zoned out and tuned back in when they were talking about Genghis Khan?? I thought youtube was playing a totally different video 😭

[@jadii4900]

Loving these random thumbnails that show the day of the life of Parkzer

[@LordGecko9291]

I side with Parkzer on this one

[@CallieCacola]

childhood is thinking that Doug is stupid and Parkzer is smart. adultthood is realizing they are both absolute himbos in opposite energies.

[@mattheoprannac]

Parkzer and DougDoug interactions are always so entertaining

[@Happy156]

THAT'S MY MARINARA