Why So Many Are Struggling in Love

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[@krishna335]

Healthy relationships involve reciprocity, communication, a ton of effort, and the willingness to hang on when times get bad. It's too much to expect.

[@Youareloved511]

It’s never too much to expect 🫶 just the wrong people being asked for that

[@michaelblower7363]

It does certainly feel like it's a such a big demand for people to put a bit of effort into something.

[@ErinSmith-jo8td]

I agree. Married for 17 years, and my tap was full blast while he barely gave anything back. No wonder I’m so bitter. Easy to give to kids, and pour myself into them. I don’t trust other people, and though I try to, it’s easier just to turn off and stop caring about everything.

[@aniabrandt7]

Definitely effort& saying am choosing u, choosing this relationship when times get harder

[@amyli092]

When all of those things are inconsistent, this makes me question why I continue to care. I've been known to burn bridges in the past and I'm trying to change that, but I'm close to losing again, which makes those old habits like giving ultimatums or ditching the person full-stop feel like something I want to start pulling out again. Why should it be my job or concern to hold space for a person who takes things at a ridiculously slow pace, or even someone who won't put in the same amount of effort as me?

[@theresagarza1578]

I'm just gonna add a lil something here. Some of us didn't stop dating because we "got hurt" too many times. Some of us realized that we no longer wanted to spend our resources on a thing that seemed a futile waste of time. I was one of those people. I just did NOT get the appeal of meeting a bunch of men who seemed to want to take up all my time or subtly make me feel beholden to them. I'm in my late 50s, and it's possible my experience is generational, I don't know. BUT - I discovered Mr. Hussey's KZbin videos & listened to them & must have absorbed the right stuff because I finally was able to recognize a good guy when he fell in my lap. We've been in a healthy committed relationship since 2018. Thank you, Matthew. Congrats on your relationship!

[@bigcatenergy3707]

I’m feeling this way now- thank you for speaking on this, sometimes I worry I’m jaded but honestly, I think it’s more so just being practical

[@meditatonmicrodose]

I love Audrey, she is such a beautiful, genuine soul and really understands women struggles in the current dating world ❤

[@danniezollner6532]

Ive been criticized because i make it clear to people that i want love. Thank you for saying its ok.

[@peterm2152]

but they didn;t tell u there are MANY people out there ready to take advantage of someone like You!

[@meetandinspire]

"It's the fear of rejection. It's this feeling of I'm not even going to be open about the fact that I want love, I'm not even going to admit that I'm looking for a relationship, that I'm looking for love because my value will go down. I will be perceived as desperate and I will be rejected by the people I want."

[@nataliecohn5012]

Agree about empathy! Trying not to judge is hard. Everyone needs to work on in society. Not many people care anymore.

[@bojopurvis9340]

I blame it on social media and dating apps.

[@yizelsanchez9183]

holy shit yes. although i’m 23 dating has been completely ruined bc of social media. what happened to meeting people organically?? to this day my best relationship has been the one i met organically, .. and ive been through 3 other relationships

[@Beautybytonille]

Yes and add porn to the mix aswell

[@lilopygaming3218]

Have you ever go on dating apps and people ask u questions like it's an interview and then checking boxes if u failed even one of it they just say yeah nah we're not a good fit... 🤷

[@beez991]

Just be honest you won't fail as long as you are being yourself ​@lilopygaming3218

[@jessicahitchens6926]

It's not that...its society degrading and becoming more atomised. It wasn't easy to meet a great man before 2012. Unless you met him at University etc. Or your family /friends knew him. Not everyone has that and far less nowadays. Like a barren wasteland of assholes.

[@LadeeSRM]

You married well, Matthew.

[@maid.3310]

She’s incredible. He’s a blessed man

[@tedtalksrock]

Yes.

[@coach_amy]

Does anyone here see it this way too? I see dating the same as meeting a new friend. Either our personalities, goals, lifestyles, values, morals, beliefs, ethics, desires for personal-growth, self-awareness levels, and our desires for the type of friendship/relationship we each want match up, or they don't. Unless it's just an acquaintance--which doesn't require much to line up. As someone who wants a deep, fulfilling, transparent connection, It's equally as difficult to find a friend as it is to find someone to date. Because how many people actually live that way within themselves? I can't relate to putting on a show, image, and/or lying to attract someone to date. The last thing I want in my life is one more person who doesn't really know me and who I don't really know. I can find that the moment I step out my front door, and absolutely everywhere. The point of a partner is to be fully known by each other and connecting at a really deep, authentic level. I duped myself in my last relationship, believing my ex partner's fine words and some nice actions, all the while I saw so many red flags. The cognitive dissonance, even still, was horrible. Lesson learned.

[@haileygrant7969]

What a beautiful take :)

[@coach_amy]

@@haileygrant7969Oh nice. Thank you for reading it and commenting. Do you relate?

[@Thecuriousoptimist]

Absolutely agree. That requires a degree of inner peace though, as sometimes people (friends or potential partners) disappoint us, and those who are not at peace with themselves may take what is, as a matter of fact, a misalignment of all the things you mentioned, as a rejection of the person and their qualities as a whole. To be able to see that failed connection as something that needs to go both ways and thus simply couldn't exist otherwise, instead of a personal failure, we need to be certain that we did our best and our inner value does not change because of the outcome. A good partner will protect and enhance that sense of peace and safety and that is probably a very important green flag to discern.

[@coach_amy]

@@ThecuriousoptimistDo you have examples of failed connection?

[@Thecuriousoptimist]

@@coach_amy yes, both in friendships and relationships. The common denominator was failure to feel seen and understood. Which is what I took away as a lesson for me to try and give in my future relationships with people.

[@janetcarrier313]

The free chicken analysis was golden! Thank you Matthew and Audrey, I am a 64 years old psychologist and thoroughly enjoy you two young people being so truthful and transparent. I've recommended, and sent a link to my 36 year old daughter to watch your show. Many blessings toward the very wise and important work you are doing together (you two are adorable).

[@ddddsdsdsd]

Not love: looking for others to solve your issues.

[@Melanie_M]

The honey tap analogy is brilliant, I'd like to add to Audrey's comment of "the bees were working hard for it" - if you give honey, but the other person is not in your garden helping you to plant the flowers for the bees, the honey will run out. So if you value your garden, your bees and your honey, you'll need to close the tap.

[@stephenhussey]

Great conversation :) The point about being ok with giving your best up front instead of holding back and putting up walls at the beginning of dating is SO important. 👏

[@aniabrandt7]

Only real men can do that&take that, definitely not avoidant

[@atelierzonnewijzer2921]

After a loooong hold out on my part to connect to someone who was avoiding connection, I took 3 years to heal what it was in me that was equaly avoidant, because I saw my own flaws, my own reluctance to show myself truely, my wishes, my boundaries, my insecurities and so forth. Although it was excrusiating to be trying to connect for seven years to someone, it was also a way for me to project more on the other and steer away from looking at myself. In the last phase of that relationship I found the videos of Matthew, and I started to see that what I truely longed for was NOT TO MUCH, but that it required from me more vulnerability, more decernment, more coming out for who I am, as I was still trying to be a certain way to suit my partner. I started with my friends, when I was single again, to show a bit more of my inner world, to ask them more personal questions, to consiously connect more on an emotional level with them. I also started to make a list of what would be considdered green flags in a partner for me, what was I actualy looking for, what caracteristict or oddities would be compatible with me, just as I am? I also made a list of just my own strenghts, what am I bringing to the table, which is obviously not for everyone, but some guy might just be thrilled with specifically those traids, no? This way I build up my self-love and confidence, and I enjoyed the peace I gained from shifting perspective. ONE big gamechanger was to beccome completely clear on the fact that my previous pain in that long relationship was not just because MY needs wherent met, but also for a huge part because my partner didnt want to NEED anything from me, so he left he standing with my gifts, unwilling to receive them. It was not true that I was only needy for myself, I also need it that my partner is receptive to what I have to offer, he must be coming to me for it, for company, for suppoort, for my wisdom, for my fun! This insight made it all tyhe more obvious to me what would actually be a great partner for me, and that brought a sense of calmness. I now knew what to truly avoid, and what to explore. In my profile on the dating app I stated clearly that I only wanted to date for a loongterm relationship, I think thats best in this day and age with the hookup culture. I also choose the more alternative datingsites, and the paying variant, because that weeds out the man who are just looking for a fast date I thought. I had one more short-burn testround withan uber-avoidant, just to make it all even more clear for me how that dynamic works, oh my gosh, roalarcoaster of emotions, very quick attachement, holding out again... But after some time I just asked point blanck, what his intentions where and he was so clearly NOT into me, I could let it go. I grew stronger and stronger in my ways of just being myself and open from the get go, because I really do not wanted to waste any time anymore. If someone can not contain my intensity, or match my interest in creating an intentional relationship, what are we doing then? And then my match found me. I could see the lack of pretentiousness in his words and profilepictues, we wrote long letters back and forth for days and then we met. He is odd, just like me, no big waves or grand emotions, we where like old friends meeting again, he likes my spice, he is talkative, I even have to slow him down sometimes, I am feeling seen and taken care of, we fit so well together!!! The point I am trying to make is really, be yourself, love yourself, see your own specialness as this specific flavours of a dish only you can prepare and serve, there are so many tastes out there, and be clear on what you are looking for in essence, because SOMEONE WILL MATCH YOU, IN BEAUTIFUL WAYS YOU CAN NOT IMAGINE YET!

[@coach_amy]

I really like the honey tap analogy. It's also important we are aware about what our "honey" is. Time and attention is a valuable resource (honey). Being able to give and receive feedback and input is as well. Transparency, honesty, being awake/aware, knowing oneself, knowing what we want and don't want... etc. all are super valuable. If someone doesn't appreciate those traits and abilities, move along because there will be someone who has the same to offer and also wants it in return (pep talking myself).

[@Hadas1976]

I think my problem has always been my low self esteem, being too kind, not knowing how to put boundaries and let others respect me. I take full responsibility for it, i rather stay on my own, it is better that way then to be hurt again.

[@usinebeglaryan5661]

I relate to this.

[@irini6172]

can relate tot it

[@louiseseaman-4903]

I relate to this too

[@Avoid_Low_Frequency]

Me too🥹

[@doublesidestephustler6094]

I was the same, but I worked on my trauma still ongoing, and I now know never to give up on yourself and what you need.

[@21MichelleMiss]

Loved the deeper psychology conversations more than the dating tips i consider it so much more helpful because if we figure that out than the dating stuff its just childs play, also loved the brainstorming one of best podcasts so far

[@joesillamanrs7189]

We all think we're worth more than we are and are constantly looking for the next best thing! It's that simple. We look at all the perceived options on the Apps and sincerely believe we got so many possible connections

[@wonderwomanx1268]

Lack is self esteem and autonomy, keeps people in toxic relationships. Or mediocre relationships. It’s our fear and low self worth. We are responsible for ourselves. Let them go and you have yourself to lean on. Settling is not an option.

[@wonderwomanx1268]

Even experts know there’s more to learn. No one knows everything so it’s a healthy place to live in your mind. Honesty and objective reality comes first, that’s how we can stay grounded. Excellent discussion thank you both! It’s given me ideas to write an essay.

[@marialiedel7971]

Audrey is dropping truth bombssss

[@ShopgirlNY182]

That honey analogy was brilliant! It made so much sense to me I control the tap and the honey is award winning top of the line pure honey that anyone would be lucky to have and enjoy in their life. We all need to remember how valuable our honey is and that it’s quality stuff not just for anyone! Thank you Matthew and Audrey for this amazing video!

[@catboxcleaner3532]

Matthew and Audrey, this ought to be played subliminally in my mind while I sleep, and audibly while I am awake, until I soak it UP!

[@miz6229]

I love your conversations. Both of you are voicing the feeling we all go through while being single and looking, as well as while being in a new relationship.

[@LisaBohnert-j7e]

I’ve listened to other coaches and been in other programs and heard a lot of these same concepts but somehow he and especially Audrey seem to know how to communicate it in a way that makes it understandable and it sticks. Thank you. ❤

[@lifeofwonderment]

Who are these women who don't think they are good enough? We are all fabulous.

[@joanashaba8102]

Hoping to find love this year .from UG

[@tiphainer7143]

I wish you to find the most amazing love. ❤ From 🇫🇷 with love. ✨

[@sarahdonofrio6732]

Thank you both for your insight! I really appreciate that despite you both being in a partnership together, you keep your conversations focused on your love lives before eachother- depending on the topic. It then creates a lot of practical advice. It is all relevant and profound. It's so encouraging to hear, and all the advice you give makes me feel, and I am sure many others, less alone xx

[@talesfromtheroad9530]

Also why is desperation such a shame-able thing in our society? We don't look at physically starving people and go PSH, they're so hungry. We give them pity and aid. It should be the same for emotional hunger. I know neediness and 'consuming' someone else pushes that person away... but healthy hunger for companionship, touch, love etc is real and we should feel sad for those who live with that lack, not deride them.

[@brainfood2399]

I loved this conversation on the fear of being perceived as desperate/undesirable/being an outcast. Definitely an unconscious strategy of women in my family to shame others instead of feeling our own discomfort. (It's like the parenting strategy where they punsh the teddy in front of the toddler so they behave 'better'.) I really struggle with worthiness and showing all parts of myself (what keeps me from being vulnerable, opening up and creating a real connection). Thanks for talking about this as a couple!

[@amyli092]

Hearing Audrey's thoughts on introversion and identity honestly hit me right in the feels.... it makes me realize that when I'm at my most vulnerable with the one person who I know I can feel safe around, that unworthiness I still carry off and on doesn't get shamed. With other people though, and especially in the context of friendships, that kind of real and raw intimacy- on my end at least- doesn't come naturally. Different people carry different roles in my life on the friendship spectrum, and yet for some reason, I still find myself getting hung up what's lacking because of the expectations I've built over time in my head of how I think friendships should look or feel like.

[@gregvanpaassen]

You are lucky, @amy. I got belittled or ignored when being vulnerable, or what I said was used against me in later conflicts or even just because that person was bored. So I just don't say anything now.

[@atelierzonnewijzer2921]

I am curious what you get hung up on, and what are these expectations you have, ore ideas how they should look and feel like? What are you missing? When I was exploring for myself what it was exactly that I longed for in a love-relationship, I was examining my friendships and aimed to build them more honest and intense. Some responded with going deeper with me, others I could feel her reluctance to open up to me, and I just left it at that level, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. Another friendship is getting deeper and deeper, even now when I have found my man, she becomes more and more my confidant, and I hers. Its great to see this evolve, and I keep the more superficial friendships because I love them and I like hanging out. But I do not go there for deep talks or emotional release. I found that I can share lots and lots with my friends, I can build those more intimate, I can let myself be seen more, I can choose to be more open and vulnarable towards my friends, but there is a certain kind of intensity and recipricality that I longed and still long for, that can only be met in a love-relationship. There are some sides of me that can only be seen there, simply because my emotional investment goes deeper with a partner. Now I have found my partner I can see there is such dept still to find together, I am looking forward to peel off all the layers, a bit at a time, and grow more intimate over the years.

[@amyli092]

@atelierzonnewijzer2921 Connections require space and time, especially in romantic relationships. I think with friendships, I'm starting to realize that if I'm taking myself too seriously, this gives off this vibe of me not being fully present. Some of my friends are good at finding icebreakers, while others know how to make me laugh. It's a work in progress, honestly... I'm a bit introverted by nature and have anxious tendencies. I also tend to overthink things. I realize that the more I speak up about it as opposed to staying in my head, this lessens the grip of any rigid expectations I might have. I've done a lot of work over the years, and generally speaking, I'd say that it's important to understand the difference between unreasonable or unrealistic expectations and what's actually doable for you. I hope all of this helps you in some way! And if all else fails when it comes to setting realistic expectations, just remember that it's okay to be human. Anxiety and overthinking are the worst to deal with... it's not the expectations themselves that are causing the problem, but the feelings that come up when you have them. ❤️

[@amyli092]

@atelierzonnewijzer2921 I would also add that friendships and intimacy can either be easy or difficult depending on the circumstances and values that each person has. I myself recognize the positive impact and evolution of where things have headed in that regard; I feel very grateful for the kinds of friendships I have today. It sounds like you're in a very similar position to me, honestly, but my partner remains my #1 confidant. It's really just an added bonus to have these other connections in friendship that feel easy because those people are able to understand who I am and offer support in their own ways, as opposed to me being in my head and holding onto something that feels unrealistic. I'm wishing you all the best, kind stranger! 😊

[@ksjanna]

I liked both your honey tap and the chicken on a stick metaphor. That makes it really easy to understand. And I think what Audrey said at the end also important- you have to value your own honey. I think this is the real answer to what she asked earlier about how to not feel so down when people reject you when you're being authentic. If you love yourself, and love what you give of yourself to others, then even when it's rejected, you have yourself who you know loves it - so you leave feeling not (as) hurt. After all you have confidence in your own product, so who cares if other people reject it? You know what you have is of worth. Perhaps also, having faith that the right people will someday see it and appreciate is also important. That way you can leave with hope for next time, even if youre rejected a hundred times.

[@orielwiggins2225]

This was a great video. I had to watch it a couple times and will be saving it for future reference. I'm in this process of learning to titrate my energy and essence based on the investment and character of the other person, but I love the language and analogies you used. Being in control of the tap and not giving away more of myself than I can afford to lose. And something really clicked about the difference between how I engage vs how the folks who've been manipulative or abusive to me engage, when you talked about the source of the power being my intention to offer connection for a bit vs their source of power being about validation (or in some cases, dominance). Thank you for this. Also, love having Audrey (did I spell that right?). She seems to bring something that rounds things out and draws out great aspects of the points on the topic. Looking forward to the book. And congrats,I know it's been a lot of work.

[@annvonbelow9934]

I just got the book! It was so exciting to rip the package open and see it in real life, having seen it on the videos for a while. I really appreciate your work and have done since discovering you and your team a year and a bit ago when I was going through a tough time. Lots of thanks from Edinburgh

[@natarlabrooks8566]

Value your honey. 🍯 The richness was in this last part of the conversation for me.

[@thedivineunion]

Thank you - this was what I was trying to underline with my last comment on your "The Danger of Holding Out for "The One"" video.

[@slonikvasa]

My friend once told me: ‘You can’t tell guys you just met that you’d want to get married one day in the future. It’s gonna scare them away’

[@atelierzonnewijzer2921]

In my humble opinion, I think its a great way to weed out THOSE WHO ARE NOT READY TO COMMIT. Sure, maybe not the first date, but from the get go, if a marriage is what you want, be clear that you are dating for a longterm relationship, paint him your dream. How else is het goiing to know and love you? If you scare him away, good riddens, he would have brought you so much pain! Its a legitimit desire, to be together, to marry, to have children, to grow old together. Dont shame yourself for your heart that wants to give itself to another 💒

[@slonikvasa]

@@atelierzonnewijzer2921 Exactly. No point in wasting each others time if you are not on the same page from the start

[@lightninglotuslark]

What she was saying about that egoic construct sounds very similar to the egoic construct of the narcissist - it makes me wonder if due to the rampant disconnection and internet age epidemic level lack of societal civility, that we're defaulting to more narcissistic self image composition, and this leaves us with a very steep fall if that is challenged which it often is, which is why so many of us are probably incredibly protective of the "safe zone" of the ego construct.

[@annthropomorphous]

❤ this discussion. So open, so authentic, so empowering.

[@Cee_Eff]

I was shamed for wanting love/someone special. Then I was shamed and ridiculed-especially by women as the guy who couldn't get a date and had the nerve try-especially if I approached them

[@coach_amy]

There needs to be more men like you. Just work on the shame issue and you're gold.

[@TraceyBarracloughInspiration]

I’m not a relic, but I have roamed the planet much longer than many 😂 I love my own company, have an amazing life despite a lot of crap and then recently a very painful rejection, and I’ve just said to my friend that I do want to share my life and be in a loving relationship; I’m not desperate and needy though and there’s a difference. I like younger men too. I don’t want an old fart! Why would I 🤷‍♀️ Personally, I can’t think of anything worse than being on a dating app x

[@doublesidestephustler6094]

I honestly found inner peace with in myself and have started growing as a person in a relationship with a DA im a SA i love her with every peace of my heart life threw hard balls at us constantly we had a huge argument and broke up today was my fault and after being engaged for three months havent seen here alot in two months though but i know things will get better i truly believe she is the only one for me but we both need space to develop and heal. Find it amazing that we were both healing our childhood trauma as of lately

[@hummingbird4934]

Would be great if they could do a discussion on mental health and how it affects relationships. I was in a very healthy loving relationship for many years but it ended due to trauma and cptsd. Would love to know how to attract a healthy partner whilst I’m still attempting to heal from my wounds

[@zhamilyakussainova3038]

Matthew, Audrey, I love, just love the metaphors you are using! Keep doing this, as it is indeed a great way of delivering simple but important truth! Somehow when you speak of chicken tasters and honey taps, it all finally falls into place and makes sense😁 here’s to more good food metaphors😂

[@lilopygaming3218]

I've seen the arguments from both sides men and women. Often times it'd be like if he/she does this move on it's not gonna happen or comments like forget about them it's not worth it. It kinda makes me wonder, if both sides are saying the same thing then who's actually right? it's so complicated. Why does it always feel like we can't find the person who would wanna be in a relationship with us? It's either we get ghosted, or people have unrealistic standards and rejected us 🤷. Some don't even give u the chance to connect. Why can't it just be a simple I like u, u like me, lets try it out work on it and see what happens....

[@sumedhadev6090]

I have been in a situation where someone was vulnerable to me they shared their past.. They were emotional I gave my support also before that we had a really great time, but the next day they were cold as ice and nit even replied to my text... So how can we even trust that ppl are genuinely vulnerable !!

[@pinoniks]

I'm glad that something worked for you, let's not forget that for some of us nothing works. If I'm cold, then I'm even more alone. It's actually silly to listen advices from atractive, good looking people, you will never understand us who are avarage or belove, people treat you much differently. If you are good looking people are naturally interested and that's how you atract. If you are shy and avarage, you are doomed.

[@tehamill1]

Love Audrey’s point at 11:11 !!!

[@iinnersh7288]

this is a great conversation, love it!! but man oh man! your honeypot metaphor really cracking me up!🤣🤣

[@j4kJak88]

Self-respect when turning off the tap…

[@DEATHHEADYT]

People aren’t struggling that much. Just because it’s a popular internet topic doesn’t mean the entire population is struggling. Great entertainment content though 👍

[@Foxie635]

We all over think too much. We have too much time on our hands. That’s modern living. We have the luxury of being picky. Half of marriages end in divorce, it’s luck who you meet. They also have to want marriage and stay.

[@carolinepostlethwaite4861]

Love listening to you both. Love the hose & honey analogy. Love what you said Audry about valuing your own honey so that already fulfils you. The rest is a bonus. Ive had to learn not to keep banging on closed doors but to enjoy walking through open ones

[@fsr1391]

You two are amazing. I’m going to binge on all of your videos. 💌

[@Myglowtips]

Winnie Pooh would have so loved this episode 🐝🍯

[@ddddsdsdsd]

People aren't searching for 'love' per se. What they truly crave are connections that infuse their lives with meaning. 'Love' is contrived and illusory. Instead of chasing a Hollywood fantasy, people should embrace authenticity and abandon the pretense. Don't pursue something merely because it's deemed the ideal. It's a futile endeavor!"l

[@guitarsz]

yeah, you should get some merch going? Why not? People love those sweatshirts, plus make an extra buck, could even donate merch profits to a good cause...Love you guys!

[@fandoms5ever]

The honey analogy was so funny. Love you both

[@tedtalksrock]

17:52 I want to hear what Audrey thinks is the reason…!!! Stop talking for two seconds together Matthew!

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

I don't know if this sounds rude, because it is in written form.. I don't know how it will come across. but I mean in it the most genuinely curious way and nice way possible..... 🌺 How did you guys decide that you would work together? i don't know Audrey's work, so is she also a love expert in some ways, or is being married just her way into this world due to Matthews job :) what was her job prior and how do you guys make it function to work together. this has always been matthews job, and now, more and more it's shared with audrey. so it makes me curious how that goes. does it not almost feel like your husband is your boss? and does it not drive each other nuts to be living together AND working together or am i nuts and it's actually just bliss 😄 does my question make sense....

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

@@katephillips2518 well one would be "besotted" with ones wife... one would hope ;) - i don't think it takes away from anything, i just had questions surrounding it....

[@emiliabolsas]

I like her perspective a lot and I think it has made him more likable and able to explore more concepts with more balance.

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

@@emiliabolsas me too. Again…. I didn’t mean it any way negativly.

[@sonnenschein553]

​@@katephillips2518 I feel it exactly the other way around - the conversations between Audrey and Matt are beautiful from the two perspectives of a man and a woman and they show healthy communication within a couple instead if just giving information about it. So they add a lot if value to the content. Love it totally. ❤

[@janelupo6023]

Just when I thought I'd heard the best from you, you frost the cake! Awesome insights, Matthew!!! 👍

[@donnajames6067]

OMG! I’m in control of the tap 🍯🙈🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️finally get it!

[@barbaragunter4957]

Love this analogy: makes it so clear!

[@paulavukicevic4235]

Really profound and helpful talk!

[@21tashywashy]

This is so so good. I cried

[@bindicat9070]

Hi all 🌞

[@alice-hp7dh]

I'm in my fourties and I live in Italy where usually thing comes long after from UK or U.S. So I' m not confident in dating apps but more important I'm very selective to people and I've always been. Not in a fussy way but more misfits so to speak. So I am pretty sure that people who I could like, didn't use dating apps. Even when I was young I liked to be around a bounch of weirdos who listen indie music and watched indie films. My big mistake has been not pursuing this kind of journey because I didn't figured out this in those days. So I've tried to find a job, multiple jobs, just to pay bills and never fittted in with collegue's environment, where usually relationships starts. I'm well aware that now at my age and after a long relationship it will be reeeeeally hard to find someone who could attract me. In fact the only person who I felt madly in love with was an avoidant/ narc musician. But I fell more healthier than people around me who find someone to be with ( often via dating apps) in a snap shot. Breakup after breakup.

[@sabrinavillanueva3580]

I love whenever Audrey is on 🥰🩷

[@ameliasavage4307]

This hits home to me thank you for the video .😊

[@Ingrafre]

Great topic, Audrey! And great hairdo - specificly combined with the colour of the pullover.

[@alexleung842]

This is easy to say as you're both married. I'm tellin ya the more authentic I am the quicker I get rejected. It's so depressing. Perhaps the fact that it's depressing shows I don't know how to love myself

[@Nikki.....]

would you rather get rejected after 2 weeks time investment or 2 days? the people who are rejecting you by definition aren't the right person for you. Do you just want to be in a relationship or do you want to be in a relationship with the person who is right for you? a caveat is have self awareness about how you come across as in general and what your authentic self is and are you being authentic or just emotional dump on people on a first date? cause for example someone could be fresh out of a relationship or just lost their job and cry all day and be like but this is how I'm authentically feeling right now but emotionally healthy people won't be attracted to that maybe some people who are attracted to fixer-uppers at best and predators who look for vulnerable people in worse cases.

[@ChurlzVA]

My man, he's been single before. You think he didn't go through the loops of heartbreak and disappointment?

[@ckl5801]

@@alexleung842 man’s rejection is God’s protection so rejoice when you get rejected for being honest about who you are and what you are looking for…you are one step closer to success with each failure!!

[@Ingrafre]

Matthew, one more thing on the word "dating": Drug addicts call their own prostitution on the streets "dating".

[@sarahann9324]

Would love it if you did one of your live events in New Hampshire😊 I’m excited to get your book I preordered awhile ago!

[@susantydeman1566]

So true, fantastic points made.

[@elidaqt]

👀👀👀 next level…. New fave since the limbo video 👏👏👏

[@CJ-ft9yo]

I think most know it’s a fantasy the whole wanting love thing, it’s not peaceful, talking about it is meaningless too.

[@carmenlabomba]

This is probably the most powerful video/ message I have seen you guys speak on. It has profoundly impacted me, shaking my core and taking root. I look forward to the many ways this will positively change my life. Thank you so very much both you 🤍🤍✨🙏🏼

[@ma-ri-ka9555]

A wonderful Podcast. Thanks so much for this gamechanger what at mean for me. I wish i could buy your book in a german version. ❤

[@treensscreen]

Make merch!

[@marialiedel7971]

This is so so so good😭😭😭

[@rachanadiaries]

I feel bad whenever I ask my husband to take care of 6 year kid (like playing, taking somewhere) then he clearly say I can’t do thing right now but later and his later won’t come back; in case if comes then come at night time or time when he is free and not other person which frusted me a lot that I don’t get hand when I’m in need.. pls advice

[@brendafulopp7305]

You Guys are Amazing ❤❤

[@Vi7ible]

Goal 🥅✨ smoke 🤧

[@hadiza1]

Good afternoon! 🌸🦄🌸

[@pariahasanpour6160]

You guys are the best

[@lonewolfheart1697]

I have a great guy, but we're about 90 miles apart, so don't get to see each other as much as we'd like. He has ADHD and has been through past trauma and heartbreak. What's the best way to get past his walls and get him to talk about his feelings more? We've been together for 5 months. Thanks.

[@coach_amy]

I'm interested in the response you get. (Speaking from hard-learned experience: are you looking for a relationship or are you looking for a project?)

[@sonnenschein553]

I am so sorry for you. Long distance, trauma and ADHD in your partner is something that will cause so many hurtful events in your heart. ❤ Especially if he is avoiding in conversations.

[@thanley]

Suggest he go to a therapist. It's not your job to fix him and even if you try to, you may not have the ability to help him work through it because you're not necessarily trained to deal with other people's traumas effectively and you'll probably end up blaming yourself.

[@pewterschmidt23lord99]

we don't talk about feelings its a guy thing

[@melanalyvka6109]

She is sweet :) to listen to and to see. Somehow.

[@ikeraamseat]

hi guys.thats avery good topic.but we all know we are living in a mental pandemic.due to the increase of npd and narcisistic individuals.

[@Nora-yv8op]

Audrey Hussey is so cute

[@keevinlee2193]

The Winnie the Pooh episode! All about regulating the honey and knowing what your 🍯 is worth! lol 😊. Really enjoyed this episode. Great advice.

[@XYZ-qu4yq]

It’s okay for a woman to show some interest to a man (10%) but then she should leave it to the man. Let him decide: if he wants to pursue her and win her over. If a woman is too excited about a man anxious to get a man, she will be chasing a man. But because chasing (pursuing) is a masculine thing, even though he will take what she gives him, he will lose interest and he will avoid her. Because it was too easy, he didn’t work for it (by courting her), so he sees no value in her. Sex is not enough. Women should be in their feminine energy to keep a man interested and let the man to work hard to win her over. A hunter is after a doe, not another hunter.

[@ETorres-qj5gk]

I’m curious why your wife is on every episode now? I’m glad you found love, and it’s nice you hear a woman’s perspective, but I enjoyed your previous videos

[@kendradamm1428]

I love that they are doing the show together now! Pretty sure most people do, judging from the comments…which is why you’re seeing more of it.

[@Soleil4701]

@@kendradamm1428 I agree. I like that Audrey gives an extra perspective, I think it’s even better. I like that on behalf of women watching she will notice something and say, "Hey, what about this..."

[@Ivy285]

He was single before and he is married now. Makes perfect sense that his wife does videos with him now. And most of us love Audrey's perspective!

[@carolinemuller-karl2111]

So wonderful

[@gregvanpaassen]

I don't want to find love. People are hard work, untrustworthy, and sources of pain and annoyance. Every single one. There's no "there" there.

[@BobbieCooper-md4hh]

If that’s how to feel, why watch?

[@ChurlzVA]

Welcome to being alive

[@fionakarbel258]

That teriyaki chicken tho 😂

[@talesfromtheroad9530]

Shame is real. My mother said, 'How did I fail as a mother that you're 30 and unmarried?' :(

[@jessicahitchens6926]

She obviously has no idea the world she inhabits. Pretty sad..

[@wendyshannon6949]

This ridiculous tendency to shame people for looking for love is motivated by the desire to look cool...trying to impress others... Look how the miserable life of Marilyn Munro is held up as desirable...and worshipped by men...yet the reality is that she was desperately lonely to the extent she took her own life...How sick is that...

[@cyndigooch1162]

It's extremely sad about what happened to Marilyn Monroe and a lot of people don't know that she was s**ually abused as a child, which was the main cause of her issues with men. 😥

[@satyamyogaderby]

I love the give a little taster of the finest honey!! Then see if they reciprocate and want to buy it!! That way you are creating self trust! That really helped me I keep being told that I am too kind and myself I should be cool and aloof! Being true allows you to see the truth quicker! Then you can exit loving who you were in the connection… I no longer deny that I want a deep real meaningful connection and intimacy on all levels!!

[@SelmaBaptista-w1e]

❤❤😊😊

[@AB-lb4zv]

Matt Idk about you but I’m keeping it groovy and letting my honey hose blast 🤷🏾‍♂️😂

[@leonie563]

🤑 and prenup helps. But lessons get lwarned eventually. Life is not a storybook.

[@paolinabd3567]

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡