Why There Are So Few Places to Hang Out: How to Talk to People Podcast, Episode 2

Coffee shops, churches, libraries, and concert venues are all shared spaces where mingling can take place. Yet the hustle and bustle of modern social life can pose challenges to relationship-building-even in spaces designed for exactly that.
In this episode of How to Talk to People, we analyze how American efficiency culture holds us back from connecting in public, whether social spaces create a culture of interaction, and what it takes to actively participate in a community.
Hosted by Julie Beck, produced by Rebecca Rashid, edited by Jocelyn Frank and Claudine Ebeid. Fact-check by Ena Alvarado, and engineering by Rob Smierciak.
Build community with us via email! Write to us at [e-mail]. To support this podcast, and get unlimited access to all of The Atlantic’s journalism, become a subscriber.
Music by Alexandra Woodward (“A Little Tip”); Arthur Benson (“Charmed Encounter,” “She Is Whimsical,” “Organized Chaos”); Gavin Luke (“Nadir”); Ryan James Carr (“Botanist Boogie Breakdown”); Tellsonic (“The Whistle Funk”); Dust Follows (“Willet”); Auxjack (“Mellow Soul”).
Listen on your favorite podcast player:
Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id...
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/44vtkPi...
Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/show/how-to-...
On the web: www.theatlantic.com/podcasts/...
Open in your default player: cms.megaphone.fm/channel/howto
🎨: The Atlantic

[@vervex]

Very good talk. This is something I often complain about to my husband, that in this day and age there are so few spaces left to spontaneously meet people. Especially in larger cities. When we moved to the country an hour outside of Austin five years ago, within a year we joined the local volunteer department, and that for us became a rallying space where we could meet with and get to know the local community. It's been our anchor. I'm very grateful to have found them. When we had a car accident in a nearby town and needed a ride to the clinic and then back home, several of them volunteered to help us out without hesitation, and in the middle of a work day. That's the kind of people they are. And the nature of a volunteer fire department is that they are not only there for their own - they extend their help to everyone in the community who needs help, regardless of religion, political affiliate, gender or race. So if you find yourself in need of a social group, try volunteering. You'll find all sorts of kind hearted people in there who just want to help and who are unafraid of coming forward to shake your hand. Joining a volunteer group like the firefighters changed my life.

[@geraldrigor1374]

Come to the Philippines and you would have a lot of friends, a lot of conversations. Filipinos have a laid back attitude and we converse a lot with our fellowmen, most of the time.

[@RazorSkinned86]

sad that public libraries are the last place left where people can just be there and it isn't something that has been turned into somewhere you are there to make a purchase as a consumer. real reason it is terrible public libraries like public schools are something certain monied interests are waging a campaign of privatization or dissolution. oddly enough the shopping mall also offered this kind of social setting where someone could go to just be around people and not be there to explicitly make a purchase as some kind of consumer. but i guess this campaign of atomization has been ongoing since the 1970s when the idea of promoting the idea that community shouldn't extend beyond the nuclear family because any stronger social bonds runs the risk of collectivism that leads to labor not being precarious due to people having social networks of support that can help them through hard-times, labor strikes, or even communism.

[@aluisious]

Do public libraries allow homeless people to sit inside?

[@englisho.1]

just amazing

[@grandmamaryjoan]

The best place to hang out is often a New York City playground, particularly one that is used by the same neighborhood every day. When my children were young, I lived in Penn South in Chelsea, which consisted of 9 buildings, 21 stories high. Penn South was highly desirable. People waited on a list for many years to get an apartment, and almost no one ever leaves.

[@vinodmenonp058]

Will give it thought

[@rorschachs1889]

Perfect timing

[@aluisious]

There are few places to hang out because capitalism hates public space. Anything that doesn't belong to a private interest could be making more money if it did, so it soon will. The fact that interferes with your relationships is a happy accident, because you really shouldn't be wasting time and energy doing things other than making other people money. Alienated people also spend more on goods and services to feel better.

[@timtamothy51]

22:37 - "miracles of American life"... I don't know if it was his intention but it sounds like he's saying Americans invented the present day library in it's current form. Very strange. Surely libraries developed and evolved and advanced and eroded with changing technologies and social priorities and investments over time, a lot of which happened before the USA was ever invented

[@paulinam8919]

While Jackson sounds like a very sweet and caring person I have a problem with too much hospitality. I am also from religious community and the problem is this enmeshed feeling. If you disagree with the group sentiment then you are ostracized. This openness towards people in community is only ok when you treat your children seriously, as real people, which sadly wasn't the case in my community. This opens doors to a lot of inappropriate behaviours and even abuse, because 'why are you bad-mouthing your uncle?'.

[@BiodegradableYTP]

I miss when you guys made videos and shared cool docoumentaries and short films.

[@ThatsJustMyBabyDaddy]

You mean parents don't teach their kids how to talk to each other anymore?😮

[@TheRealBlueValhalla]

yes that's exactly the problem