Why You Should Try to Be More Selfish

[@TheDailyDoseChannel]

"The freedom to be yourself is a gift only you can give yourself"

[@lifealkimista7495]

Deep

[@chrismanzanarez5049]

Your words hit deep for me right now, in the process of finding my "self" realizing that the "self" i am is just projections on others likes and dislike, thank you for your wisdom and peace to all of you

[@artifactis]

I am not who I think I am! I am what I think you think I am!

[@TessaForrester]

@@artifactis 😊

[@keithcrane469]

Peace to you too ❤️

[@Jamankeinding]

wise words bro!

[@MarcelGraumans]

The path of "trying to be who / what you are not", the ultimate denial / defence mechanism aka delusion. I wish YOU good luck... 🍀

[@spaghettilord2858]

Honestly being ‘selfish’ really isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. Before I started being more ‘selfish’ people walked all over me like a doormat. I was pretty miserable trying to please people, now I’m not because I only care about pleasing myself mainly lmao.

[@maulana721]

Same happened to me. People actually respect you more, when you respect yourself/prioritize yourself first.

[@oftenwrong.]

Been there. Did that!

[@herrin8818]

I think what you say has more to do with the following quote: "When you're not used to being confident, confidence feels like arrogance. When you're used to being passive, assertiveness feels like aggression. When you're not used to getting your needs met, prioritizing yourself feels selfish"

[@richardnsalvador]

And now you have 1 friend! 😂

[@spiderscurry5614]

purrr

[@Dray.TheChosen1]

If the people in your circle aren't contributing to your growth, then you're not in a circle, you're in a cage.🖤💫

[@trinaq]

That's very accurate and profound! Everyone needs room to grow, and while we may naturally resist change, it's usually for the best.

[@hissyfitz7890]

EXCELLENT!

[@teqeri1857]

thats a great saying wow 😮

[@JudgeJulieLit]

Brilliantly elucidative metaphor; thank you!

[@Peanuts76]

I felt nothing to my friends, they were all pretty judgmental, maybe i only had 2 or 3 real friends, and they're not on my neighbours, you really know when real friends are there, in spite of your circumstance, they really are there, and keep supporting you no matter what....

[@mooodlemip4779]

Forced selflessness is exhausting and disingenuous. This video isn’t telling us not to be selfless and care about others, but instead to remember to tune into our real desires and ask ourselves ‘do I really want to do that, or do I just feel like I should?’. As we become more in touch with our values, aims and passions we will begin to be kind, good and indeed selfless in our own ways and this kindness, goodness and selflessness will be all the more meaningful for it.

[@tonyburton419]

Agreed - maybe, but also just more wisely that should have been made clearer..

[@gabrielborjas7923]

@@tonyburton419it's pretty clear to me. Think of it like the oxygen masks on a plane: you should put your own oxygen mask first because otherwise you will be unable to help anyone else. Being "selfish" in this case is just prioritizing your own needs. If you have compassion for yourself, it is inevitable you will have it for others. The way you treat yourself is just a mirror on how you treat others and vice versa.

[@tonyburton419]

@@gabrielborjas7923 Yes aware of this sort of metaphor from CFT or ACT. It's just that this is not made that clear in this video.,

[@sneakerbabeful]

Desires, aims, and passions (ick) are fleeting and fickle. Doing what we should brings us closer to long term goals, regardless of outcome. And working a job we hate, but pays the bills, is far more mature and responsible than demanding a 'gratifying' job which leaves us destitute. Being good is not a fling. It is about growing up.

[@DatTran-ms6tr]

Even being selfless is a selfish act itself. By being selfless, you are kind of expecting people to do the same for you (whether you agree or not, it tends to be what our subconscious mind think). And selflessness is actually a viable strategy for our survival, that’s why after many years of evolution, we are still selfless. I’d recommend the book ‘the selfish genes’, it’s eye opening.

[@drinasun6984]

I spent my childhood and adolescence pleasing others. I did and said things they wanted me to. I always said yes to requests no matter how ridiculous or uncomfortable they were. Eventually, it got to the point where I started to resent and regret doing the tasks they gave me. Any attempt to decline was shot down. I set boundaries after leaving school.

[@JudgeJulieLit]

Good for you! "Better late than never."

[@trinaq]

Being selfish isn't always a negative thing. It means that you're taking responsibility for getting your own personal, emotional and physical needs met. If you can't care for yourself, then you can't look after others.

[@wompus_king]

Ryusui in Dr. Stone manga goes through this idea. Not sure about the anime. But there’s some decent concepts in there.

[@juliettailor1616]

Amen!

[@adrianclaridge570]

Most peoples idea of selflessness is doing things for others with the expectation that they'll get something in return - which, ironically, is more selfish than saying "no".

[@dreamthedream8929]

that is not accurate Trina, yes self neglect very well may lead to frustrations and a decreased ability to care for others, depression may arise which may interfere with that. However even in this video right here the school of life said to stop caring too much about others in order to sort out your own needs first which yes may very well lead to an increased ability to care for others when you start to feel better

[@mohammadreaz5372]

🛑🛑🛑The biggest deception in the World !🛑🛑🛑 The Most Important Videos about Meditation are "Beware of Angels" And "Charmed by Darkness", See them Now on KZbin !!!

[@Owlsworthy]

Good advice for SOME people. Some are selfish enough and need to work on being more generous. So many people are miserable because they're too focused on themselves and what they do and do not have. Go and give.

[@wingberry123]

I think what they are trying to convey is be selfish enough to be true to who you are. That means saying no when you want to say no. Honouring yourself.

[@papapickett7267]

It is a balance, like anything in life. I think those of us here are looking for self healing, to avoid misery and constant self disvaluation. We are people too, and what we want matters. We have served others so long we have forgotten how to take care of ourselves. And that causes not only us, but others to suffer as consequence.

[@sadie2537]

I was told to be more selfish by an ex before they left me, I sort of hated that they were right and remembered that I spent so much time giving so much of myself to them. This video went in depth with it and I’m so grateful to come across it. The pain will end very soon.

[@corsaircarl9582]

I was always told (and heard) that being selfish is always a negative act. Makes me feel weird when I help myself rather than others.

[@alexandreperusio1303]

Yes, that is a negative thing yes. Taking care of yourself is one thing, putting yourself above everything and everyone is childish and surreal. Look at Jesus Christ, do you think He thought of Himself when He suffered on the Cross? He is love, and he did not think of himself, but was only concerned with saving us, so that whoever believes in him may not perish, but have eternal life.

[@user-et7fu3jg9l]

Same

[@JudgeJulieLit]

Paradoxical definition of "selfish" in Ambrose Bierce's late 19th century The Devil's Dictionary: "Having no regard for the selfishness of others."

[@JudgeJulieLit]

It can be a corollary of the Christian adage "it is better to give than to receive."

[@janebaker966]

There is right situations to give and times not to. You have to learn which is which.

[@gasoline109]

I wouldn't call it selfish but truest form of freedom. When you're truly free, validation means nothing to you!

[@alpal87]

Amen!

[@Valchrist1313]

It's solipsism.

[@MM-qg5xh]

"and devoting ourselves to children who either end up indifferent or plain resentful about the care we've devoted to them" Ouch!!!

[@ANTINATALIST_lewis]

Oooof

[@Prijoon___]

" The world won't fall apart if we neglect some of our commitments; perhaps we can afford to forget someone's birthday or let the house get in a mess, fail to prepare a meal "

[@janebaker966]

Not so happy about that bit. I like remembering birthdays. I hate being in a mess. It blocks my thinking and its mean not to make a meal if you're the one in the house and the others have been at school or work all day. That's BAD selfishness not GOOD selfishness.

[@glendaharris1099]

@@janebaker966 Well said Jane...You've highlighted a truly mean side to selfishness. Laziness and self obsession, can impact the lives of others very negatively, especially children, the elderly, sick and poor animals too who are dependant on their owners. A selfish lazy person is likely to cause untold pain and suffering to these vunerable groups. Saying 'No' being selfish is important in the right context, but not to be mean, eg not preparing food for a hungry child, not bothering to feed or take care of your pet, not showing care or respect to frail/ sick elderly. Look to your own wellbeing yes, but the wellbeing of vunerable groups you are in charge of depend on one not showing selfishness.

[@nerdexproject]

100%! That's why I live the way I live. You don't have to be an asshole for that. You can still be empathetic and thoughful. But in the end of the day we are all responsible for our own happiness and peace. Only then we can truly be valuable for others too.

[@janebaker966]

Its just keeping boundaries. That's not selfish,it's sensible.

[@birdieculture]

Well said, many people pleasers have zero boundaries, and when they grow up they expect others to please them like they have done all along. My dad was one of them, he sacrificed for his family and then made me sacrifice & suffer. It was so incredibly draining, and definitely not empathetic or thoughtful. Please, live the way you see fit (without harming others of coz), I salute you x

[@AuRoaraAnimations]

the timing of this video was perfect! i always feel guilty for taking time for myself over others

[@ShreshthVyas]

Same here!

[@trinaq]

Ditto, but I'm trying to coax myself into taking more time for myself.

[@ShreshthVyas]

I have taken to smoking recently, thinking reducing 2 mins of life to be a better option.

[@notourz]

Damn a lesson from the school of life that I was already familiar with. I often say that "No" is one of my favorite things to say. I love telling people to not tell me what to do. I love deciding to take time for myself. I love doing art for myself instead of a profit. I really try to tell others about this way of living and I hope I've gotten through to many of them.

[@crookedprojects]

"No" is one of my favorite things to say" i wish i could be like you. but i'm learning towards that now :)

[@MeloBurgers]

thank u for this

[@sensimania]

Unfortunately, you dont naturally realise this until you get older and wiser. For me, it was in my early 30s when my life became stressfully busy for 3yrs. I had a toddler, a full time job, and I was going to university. Each day bled into the other, and what little time I did have to myself, I needed to catch up on sleep. Even though I informed people how busy I was, they lacked SO much consideration it was unbelievable. They were asking me to do time consuming favours for them (things they could do themselves or LEARN to do themselves). Turning up at my home unannounced and expecting me to do this that and the other for them. NEVER once asked me how I was or if I was able to cope with what was happening in my life. They selectively "forgot" what was going on in my life and concentrated on whatever would benefit them. One of the MANY messed up things that sticks in my mind is: I remember staying up all night studying for an exam that I didn't feel ready for. The next morning, after only having 1hr sleep, I fed my toddler, got her ready and dropped her off at childcare. I then traveled over an hour to get to the examination centre, and did a THREE HOUR exam. On my way back, my car broke down so I had to wait for recovery to help me. That took 2hrs. When I got home, I just about had enough energy to eat something before a fell asleep from exhaustion (from around 2pm to 5pm). When I woke up, my friend (at the time) called me to ask me for a favour. He said "what are you doing?" I said "I'm just waking up from a nap", and before I could explain what kind of day I had, he said "you lazy cow". That's when I blew up 🤬. How dare he say something like that?? I gave him a piece of my mind, told him what happened that day, and there was silence on the other side of the phone when he realised that the world didn't revolve around him. Needless to say, I didn't do that favour for him. That's when I realised that I had to cut out the "dead weight" from my life, started saying NO, stopped people pleasing, and stopped worrying what other people thought about me. I'm glad that stressful time happened, otherwise I'd probably still be a people pleaser.

[@fuhi4080]

I actually started to be more selfish in a clever way. I do things I want to and don’t do things I don’t want to. It feels just so good and I feel more fulfilled in my life 🤗

[@True38]

Good for you, I'm the exact same way.

[@amanthapliyal2636]

Can we say selfishness also have two categories:- 1. Where we tend do explore ourselves, improve ourselves, do thinks to grow ourselves. 2. Selfishness in which we think just for our pleasures and not thinking about whether our actions might be hurtful to the people we love. This selfishness is more about those superficial happiness and looking for our own comfort and for getting that hurting anyone.

[@markarca6360]

The healthy one is prioritizing our fulfillment and satisfaction in life by doing what we are passionate with. The unhealthy one is excessive craving for material pleasures forgetting the needs of others.

[@MM_Pishi]

Thanks to The School of Life. Perfect time to receive this notification. I just got rid of a horrible situation that I couldn’t say "NO" at the beginning. This amazing content made me think about that more deeply. ❤

[@caha9583]

Same here kind of!

[@andrewryan3084]

Today, my grandparents accused me of being selfish because I wanted to be my own man by being independent from the family. They see selfishness as a negative act because they were raised to always share with others and abide by the rules. That the family must come first before all, to always display yourself in positive light to the public and to devote themselves to the wishes of other members, sacrificing their needs with hope that their deeds will reap rewards. It has led them to a life of suffering, both of them riddled with Diabetes and my Grandpa having a heart attack few months prior. I too was riddled with anxiety, doubt and passive aggression. Until I decided to treat myself like a priority. My life is much more enjoyable now. I feel much more entitled to the things I used to deem a luxury (time for myself, my own cash, my privacy and a right person in a relationship), so much so that they became common. Even though I am shunned by my family, I feel no remorse because I'm not inflicting them damage in any way by my lifestyle. I truly believe that my choices in life are mine, and that no one else has the right to dictate how I'll live.

[@lizxu322]

No, they sound toxic and if they wanna force you to live with toxicity that's kind of selfish of them. Believe me, they would have been using you for all you've got

[@andrewryan3084]

@@lizxu322 You are right

[@SoundsSilver]

I think you went overboard man. Take care of your family.

[@Carol-dc2kj]

Best wishes

[@vanguard8889]

I agree with SoundsSilver. Don't have children, man. When we receive so much from our parents and grandparents, why is it when we are in a position to reciprocate some of everything theyve done for us, you choose yourself? Last time I checked, the world didn't revolve around a single person

[@sylviaplath8263]

I have taken this advice long ago. The result is that I have been extremely joyful and happy ever since as well as universally hated by everyone especially friends and family. Seriously, the better I am with myself the more people want to destroy me. And not because I am being a dick about it, but because people can’t stand happy people who take care of themselves mostly because it’s impossible to blackmail or guilt-trip them into anything. Also, your joy reflects back to many other people their own insecurity. So beware, people will try to murder you if you actually achieve your own peace.

[@hinanali5646]

Yes, people can't stand happy people. Sometimes your closest relatives can't stand you going about in your life, happily, care free, with zero concern for how they want you to behave and act.

[@Destassan]

Is Sylvia Plath your real name? It makes me happy to know that story goes different way this time ^^ Stay happy!

[@janebaker966]

Oh yes. They'll diss money at you,because they're lazy,stupid and envious.

[@dreamthedream8929]

@@hinanali5646 Hinan, think more about it? Is that actually true? It is common to hear that people are attracted to and want to be with people with light, happy, confident and relaxed vibes and on the other hand may not want to be much with depressed, sad and anxious people. So what do you say?

[@True38]

Believe me, I know! That's why I try so hard to maintain it. Most people are miserable followers doing what everybody else is doing instead of following their own unique path towards self-realization, peace of mind, and tranquility. Even my own mom tries to guilt-trip me, shame me, and push me off course. You have to stay cold, distant, and resilient so that you do NOT end up becoming another victim of society. The last thing I ever want to end up as is another zombie. Most people are full of shit. They point their fingers at others and judge like they're anything better (which of course they're not). They're all just a bunch of liars and hypocrites who desperately want to control and take advantage of you. You must never ever let them!

[@thechancellor-]

To the *incredible person* seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't over blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn the skills needed and get after it, all the keys to a happy life is in your hands. Keep pushing.

[@MJalil11]

Good morning

[@tamikash]

At 35 I decided to live after experiencing depression from a lot of changes in my life. I packed 2 bags, applied and got a job, moved to Asia. Japan has its own issues but I'm glad I made the decision to live life for me.

[@celinamilian]

Haha yes my guy. Just do it; the world is a convenient lie. BTW, frangipanes are my favorite.

[@thatgirlaju]

I lived a completely different life, and I’m still considered (young). I don’t even recognize the person I was when I was doing everything people expected me to do. In the end, everyone I was trying to please, turned their back on me when I actually started living for myself. I’m happier than I have ever been. I still believe in kindness and love, but I believe in living your truth. ♥️

[@moonshine9964]

If you don't put yourself first, no one is will!

[@alexandreperusio1303]

Jesus is there for that, He gave His life so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. He is our example and lived in the least selfish way possible. I don't know how to love myself, Only God can truly love me. Trust Christ, and see how He is the complete opposite of the message in this video. 1Cor 13:4-5,7: "Love has long patience, is kind; love is not emulous; love is not insolent and rash, is not puffed up, does not behave in an unseemly manner, does not seek what is its own, is not quickly provoked, does not impute evil, … bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

[@arashigumdrop]

Currently a codependent in recovery from lifelong Narcissistic Abuse Thanks for this video ☺️

[@lacornuta]

It's really about having healthy boundaries and knowing ourselves better...

[@MrJester23384689]

While I do believe that the assumptions made in this video are applicable to most of the people subscribed to this channel, I do not believe at all that it is applicable to the majority of society. Most people are overly selfish and absorbed in their own needs and egos in the worst way. Most people have turned off their empathy. Most people would walk past you in the street if you were having a heart attack and you were not dressed well. This makes it even more important for good people to take care of themselves so that they have the strength of character to say no to those seeking to take advantage, and so that society can be reshaped with higher standards and better expectations. We cannot continue to let the good people carry all the burdens of being good, it is why good people are becoming selfish in the wrong way. Good content.Thank you.

[@caha9583]

Thats another kind of selfish. What you are describing (I dont agree with it either that people wouldnt care about someone who is having a heart attack, but I can get your point) has more to do with politics and the neo-liberal world we live in where we are told that people who dont work are lazy and useless and so on.

[@amelben7975]

Being selfish is not well perceived by others and this is not surprising. People believe it is more virtuous to be selfless, and the truth is they think so because they benefit from it. Being self-centered has helped me reflect on myself and my choices in life. Prioritzing my peace of mind and my self growth was a trade-off worth making.

[@colombianrednek5561]

Ah, the art of "fuck 'em." You should still seek the middle path if you want balance. Be attentive to loved ones while at times, dedicated to your hobbies. I enjoyed the message of the video. Keep up the great work.

[@VaneMora]

In the past two years of Covid-19 pandemics one of the most important things I've learned is that I should live each day to the fullest. I'm more focused on my emotions and desires, I don't spend time anymore with people I don't like and I'm really happy right now. This video is incredibly important.

[@ZG9317]

Need more of this in my life. Being overly considerate can be truly exhausting, especially when it isn't being reciprocated.

[@rock801]

People freaked out when I refused favours after being denied one myself. I learned to live with the fact that circle of true friends is a blessing you cannot work towards ans shoulf not even waste time hoping for. Be happy whit what you can do yourself. Easier said than done!

[@nennie2243]

This is so incredibly powerful. Live now. Give ourselves permission. Don't wait for someone else to grant it.

[@jacobsolace177]

My brain/body set itself Totally Free of fear, anxiety, sorrow, despair, loneliness, shame, guilt, confusion, contradictions, addictions, ambition, competition, vanity, envy, greed, jealousy, attachment, possessiveness, ill-will, hatred, cruelty, bias, prejudice, and all other mental afflictions/disturbances.

[@jacobsolace177]

This gave birth to True Love, Peace, Joy, Goodness, Kindness, Creativity, & Clarity, in each & every moment of daily life, 24/7, once and for all, now and forever.

[@jacobsolace177]

It didn't take time. It had nothing whatsoever to do with time, effort, or choice. It occurred faster than the speed of light. The children are ready to be set Totally Free at the earliest age so they don't waste their entire lives with any mental afflictions/disturbances.

[@jacobsolace177]

Search "Total Enlightenment NOW!".

[@ThatGuy0275]

My dad taught me to be grateful to God what we have and be kind to people but never compromise with your own needs.. Tbh being a little selfish is just being kind to yourself and giving value to yourself!

[@aaronbeedle941]

People usually treat you the way you treat yourself, because they assume that you are the best judge of yourself and how you deserve to be treated. It's an ignorant assumption, but it's very common.

[@LastEarBender]

There's a difference between not being a people pleaser/ living for the expectations of others vs simply having boundaries and tending to your own needs. Much of this has to do with your outlook and your view on things - are you doing things for your family because you love them and it's a privilege and a joy to be able to help them with the things that they need or are you doing it because you simply feel like you have to. If you're a people pleaser, you need to start valuing yourself more. If you have established boundaries and aren't simply a people pleaser, make a conscious effort of having more gratitude in your life and shift your perspective.

[@TV-xm4ps]

Selfish in my life means setting boundaries more clearly and more often. The weirdest thing I have noticed was that new acquaintances seem to not only treat me more respectful they seem to appreciate me more too. The other day I told a new acquaintance straight out that I was not interested in a conversation at that given moment. I was still a bit worried that this had cost me the person's goodwill. But the next time we met the person enthusiastically introduced me to their friends. I am still baffled by it. But I wish I had learned this 40 years ago.

[@crookedprojects]

3:10 this is so comforting for someone who is in an environment where you were constantly taught to 'fake' yourself. smile more, be more excited, don't be too quiet. apparently here saying no means you're rejecting an offer that could bring you somewhere. the truth is that's not always the case. often times i found myself feeling mentally exhausted at the end of the day because i have to do things i don't even like.

[@justinjv2373]

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. Don't waste your time on thinking others we dislike. Love yourself ❤️

[@vasiliki8]

It is self-esteem and self respect not selfishness that makes us go further!!

[@fireinthenight9028]

bingo.

[@shzarmai]

Exactly my guy

[@jhogan1960]

The first non vapid response I have read. All the others reflect the participation trophy crowd that so infects this generation.

[@True38]

I would argue it's both but generally, in life, you have to give and take to get what you want. Nobody cares about your needs, wants, and desires. You have to focus on what others want first in order to get what you want. It's all about self-interest at the end of the day. That's why people smile at you one day and ignore you the next day. If they're all set and good, they could care less about you. That's why you have to stay in control over your own resources at ALL times unless you want to be run over like a doormat.

[@Yesokii_xe]

UP

[@TheChubbyJenny]

I’ve literally been working on this recently! I realized that I’ve been depressed because I haven’t been selfish enough.

[@coolguylogs]

Literally right when I needed this! I’ve been a people pleaser my whole life but now it’s time to live for me :)

[@ontheridgebymk7009]

Thank you kindly for this vid, wish all that are looking that they may find their missing parts, then blossom and then bear fruit abundantly.

[@clueless8516]

Yes ,I want to be selfish. Love is a great burden. I have loved my family and all it has given me is fear ,anxiety and pain

[@Jumoke25]

Love this reminder ❤ Thank you School of Life team! 💕

[@kir4n]

SAVED! I'm 19 and I've been feeling like there's no hope; that my career would be something I won't like, etc. But I'm not giving up either! I've applied to modelling agencies since so many months, I get rejected because I'm not 6ft tall but I don't stop. I'll keep applying and also, I have interests in writing; me and my classmate make comics! I'm also going to write a chapter of a book soon which is about child sexual abuse survivors. Next week, I'll buy a piano as well! This video made me just stop a few seconds and embrace and appreciate what I've been doing. Thanks!

[@celinamilian]

Go girl, never stop for anyone.

[@kir4n]

@@celinamilian Thank you 🖤 I've been playing the piano for 2months now and I can already play some classical music.

[@BridgetNakuya]

Wow, who would think that one day my selfishness would be validated🥺 only the school of life could do that. Bravo 👏

[@Scott.Jones608]

This message is good medicine for many people as a corrective for excessive self-sacrifice. However, selfishness can be taken to a toxic extreme & I'm sure we can all easily recall examples in our lives.

[@warrenbradford2597]

In other words, we need to think of ourselves more. Avoiding caring what others, especially the media, for doing things we need to do. Just live.

[@Grits7]

This video was exactly what I needed to hear and Ive been making subtle moves in this direction for some time now.

[@HellaRandomVideos]

To be in the intersection of selfishness and selflessness we must understand and feel (empathy) our connection to everything.

[@annabellacrewe8858]

Good morning ! Wonderfull words about this important matter ! Being more selfish without being selfish is really what matters ! Thank You ! I learn a lot and shall keep on learning untill the Day I die !, 70' now, love, Annabella in DK💖

[@unsettledsoul1027]

It's not called as selfishness ...after it should called as minding our own business and doing wts needs to be done .. focusing on whts really matter to us..

[@notbrendon]

"Craving the approval of parental figures who have other priorities". Holy hell

[@buddhaneosiddhananda8499]

Knowledge is power... we can not live a happy life without knowledge...

[@Oxircm]

Thinking about this issue for a lot of time, I realized the origin of my depression was in there. Now my life has get better a lot in the last months, I feel I'm growing and moving again towards the things I love and I feel good to me. Thank you to every worker of The school of life. I hope to visit you well, when I travel to London :3

[@stardollfan1]

I've always tell people, "be selfish for the right reasons."

[@hritiksingh1996]

Wonderful work! Also, where is Alain De Botton these days? Haven't heard his voice on this channel from a really long time.

[@kimberknutson831]

Somehow, I missed this when it was posted 3 months ago When I first saw this today, I was surprised, confused and frustrated that I had missed it. Then I watched it and felt grateful and happy that I got to enjoy it for the first time today. The video is, as always, profound, brilliant and so, so, so, so, so, so true. Did I mention how true this is? : ) This recalls Thoreau's notion that most people live lives of quiet desperation. As this video indicates, the "safety" of doing something that you hate but is predictable causes a slow decay into a numb, emotionally distant madness that others do not notice because most everyone is doing it, too. What a tragic, pathetic waste of life. I am 58 and have done some things I hated for money, but I have also done many different things for money that I loved at the time. My daughter says that I cannot die until I am at least 100, so I still have lots of time to do more things that I love. : ) Thanks again for another truly great post.

[@partsofearth]

I must say, not caring about others' opinions is much easier said than done. Every time I say things I actually think or do things I really feel like, people distance themselves from me. And I'm not talking about creepy things, more like opening up about my insecurities, or not drinking and smoking at parties. And it gets very very lonely and eventually you are forced to change yourself to fit into the society.

[@covalentbond7933]

people will never remember what you do for them but will hold onto what you don't do for them

[@papapickett7267]

It is a balance, like anything in life. I think those of us here are looking for self healing, to avoid misery and constant self disvaluation. We are people too, and what we want matters. We have served others so long we have forgotten how to take care of ourselves. And that causes not only us, but others to suffer as consequence.

[@rbj5767]

We also need to Re-Build Community before we destroy ourselves ‼️‼️🌎🇺🇲💔🌎💔💔💔

[@sillypie1656]

From all the people around the world who follow this channel, most of us would agree that this is, by far the best video by School of Life. A true eye opener

[@bart-v]

“I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.” (Ayn Rand)

[@_N0_0ne]

Thank you kindly ✍️

[@f1ibraaa]

Yh i like being selfish it’s a nice feeling when you change from being too selfless

[@aceshylus_i722]

I am already self-centered enough. As an introvert, that is what I've been doing for the past years. I think I need something else, something that will teach me to cater the needs of others. The concept of friendship and bonds remain a mystery to me until this day. I honestly feel quite far from everyone.

[@hugrid9647]

This video is so important, should be showed in schools, but schools aren't self aware enough, or don't want to be. It was very relatable sadly, but better change my life late than never. I wish I could disconnect from people who I don't like but what if it's my dad who's selfish and telling me what's best for me. I hate people like this, he says it was better when parents had control over their children and could make decisions in their life. I'm so glad that now this era ended and he is only annoying me verbally and can't make me do anything I don't want to. I wish I could send him to 1800s, heck even 1700s, he would suerly love that. Or when I hear that having a family is great, kids are important for the economy and every couple should have at least one child to support the country. So dumb, the worst reason to have kids is to complete some part of imaginary duty we owe to society. I hope one day it will be completely normal to not have kids and no one will ever question that.

[@Ai-iann]

I really needed this. I related to so much that was said and made me feel sad about it. Just thought the world was bad enough and needed someone who tried. Didn't know I was shutting myself down in the process.

[@snaxicakes]

Always so eloquent and succinct.

[@SigmaAlpha3295]

Selfish is a gift

[@matthewwitter3656]

I took this stand last year on my 21st birthday. I had always wished that I could be someone else. Anyone else but my. I always wish I could be a selfish horrible uncaring person not realizing it was completely achievable and that doing whatever I wanted was the first step down that path. It’s funny now being on the opposite end you realize the people that say all those mean things about selfish people are people who don’t have the ability to take advantage of you.

[@zovalentine7305]

Try is so trying

[@ganeshaadiguna]

I take that the key point here is taking steps towards intelligent selfishness. We could also turn this around into intelligent selflessness, which is being picky of doing selflessness act for a greater good. Thank you for the video!

[@abstract3213]

Thanks for reminding us to stay and be more authentic. This video is very important.

[@toryntucker4819]

Why is this channel always bringing my deepest,darkest thoughts to the surface. 😅😭

[@ViStateraTem]

Well, mb I am wrong, but this video divides people into two types, those who help everyone and believe that it is bad to devote time to themselves. And the second kind, those who only spend time on themselves. Why can't it be together, in balance? I helped everyone and many loved me, but I didn’t feel good about it. Then almost everyone betrayed me in different ways (both friends and parents) and I became a complete egoist, I wanted to be alone all the time. A little later, I realized that all people are selfish. It’s just that someone can immediately see it, while others help people, but for their own benefit and when even a small choice comes, they will always choose themselves. After that I decided that I don't care what people think of me. I will do what I want, but I also want to be better than other people and sacrifice myself for others if I can. I have been living like this since I was 16, but I realized why I live like this literally a year ago. At work, I don’t communicate with anyone, but I try to help those who need it, even if they didn’t ask. I believe that a person should not care what they think of him if he does one thing and not another, but he should also help whomever he can, even if he is uncomfortable with it. In short, if I may say so: It is better to be an egoist inside, but on the outside be an altruist, at least in something small. But it all depends on many factors and you don’t have to blindly follow only one road, there are nuances everywhere

[@Stxxbo]

I absolutely love this video.

[@dean8315]

I've had this in my head for years now and I see self-development as the least selfish thing one could do.

[@hughjanus3591]

We must cultivate our own garden. I heard about that idea from a silly little youtube channel not too long ago.

[@divineprotection444]

I AM SELFISH AND I AM PROUD OF IT .

[@NARushton]

Ayn Rand advocated this back in the 1960's and was lambasted for it. A great question to ask of yourself 'How helpful can you be, if you yourself are broken/healing?'

[@judyclarkson5887]

"Are you spying my very life, The School of Life?"

[@thepowerofnow8563]

Reasonable shelfish can probably help to give others personal space.

[@joedavis4150]

OMG. You have hit the target right in the center!

[@misslav55]

I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS TO MY FRIENDS FOR YEARS!!!!

[@brendadrew834]

"Unto thine own self be true", written on the gates of Adelphi in ancient Greece! Also said, by the late great William Shakespeare! Amen~

[@hydraman007]

Such video appeals to everyone, from the overly selfish to the completely selfless... Hearing this, the Ego says yes!! The key is in the balance however. I believe Love for ourselves and for others must be the guiding philosophy.

[@blastoff2moon429]

I can't thank enough that this channel exists 🤗🤗🤗

[@knowingwithraowl7017]

"Taking holiday that we don't enjoy" Hit hard

[@dabdelaziz777]

I realized recently, and I am 65, the only person I am responsible for is myself. Anything I do needs to be done for my enjoyment, even if it is holding my granddaughter's hand, how else would she ever have a chance of feeling my love if I do not love for my own selfish reasons, she already knows at four years old who the fake people are in our family.

[@paige.campbell]

We've rebranded 'selfish' with its negative connotation with 'self-care', thankfully.

[@ViolosD2I]

Or we could just use the words that already mean this rather than warping the definitions of others to mean the same. ;)

[@REHANKHAN-en5zn]

We are what others perceive us to be.

[@nicholarichards4803]

This spoke to me directly. The woman in the animation even looks like me

[@tubadude-2269]

yee this was nice. play this to develope some more sensible mantras to allow us to consider ourselves better.

[@DIGtotheIT]

Everyone is different, but recently (a year ago) I’ve begun a journey to take notice of every egocentric decision I make (I used to have a 9/10 ego, now down to a 4/10). However despite my success, there are still some small things that I would like to do (which I consider to be ego stroking), as these things would bring me temporary thrills. So I’m not sure -in my situation- whether it is wise or unwise to allow my ego to take hold again.

[@BigHenFor]

You have to make decisions, and accept you will never be immune to folly but, the medicine for that is having the right priorities, and being happy to have the problems that come with those. You have to choose, and accept you might get it wrong. Just be prepared to course correct when necessary, and to say a positive 'No' to yourself and others when required. Always stay grounded and in the present, but always treat your dreams as experiments, to be tested against reality. Some will work, some won't, but learn from your mistakes.