Wife Secretly Promised Her Son He Could Take Over My Business After College to Get Him to Go. Now...

Wife Secretly Promised Her Son He Could Take Over My Business After College to Get Him to Go. Now He's Graduated and Furious I Won't Hand It Over - Threatening to Cut Us Off.
#redditrelationship #redditupdate

[@C9316]

Frankly she should have let Joe fail on his own rather than lie to him.

[@JoeCommenter-bl4su]

Yep. That's how people learn and that's why the son hasn't learned anything.

[@Vinn_Tree]

Generally terrible parenting. Smells like kungfu panda.

[@andrews960]

I mean, at that point he would've been a basement dweller, eating chicken nuggies and dwelling on the fact that his band didnt make it big.

[@prateekshrivastava9072]

I agree that is the logical thing to do but when family and the ones you care about are involved then people tend to find it difficult to think logical... almost everyone opts for the emotional way of thinking.. that is just natural

[@C9316]

@@prateekshrivastava9072 No disagreement there but I feel still feel like lying to someone, even if it was for a good cause, is one of the worst things you can do to someone you care about. I also feel like the duty of a parent is to guide and mentor their kid on how they should go, if their kid upon reaching adulthood chooses not to heed said guidance it's on them. Seems like one of the emotions the mother had here was fear, the fear of being labeled a failure of a mother if her kid became one of many failed musicians.

[@Saphira1001fanfic]

If Joe had REALLY wanted the business and was ready for it he would have been asking to work at the business during his summers and breaks. He would have asked questions prior to accepting the reins. If this situation ever happened in real life the son's lack of initiative showed he wasnt ready.

[@rawrmcsaurs6052]

yeah its really shitty and dumb of him to 'want to take over a business' without learning the reins, especially when anyone with a morsel of experience would know that work experience is very important in the line of business

[@Azsunes]

@@rawrmcsaurs6052 wouldn't be surprised if he was a supervisor at McDonalds and thought it was the same thing

[@vexxama]

I’m betting in his mind he thought he’d go in for a week, ask how things were done, then coast while others do the work and he takes in profit. At best he’d be neglectful, at worst he might have straight up taken money out of the company for personal use

[@Trumpeter252]

Sounds like he was banking on his degree to carry success. Arrogance persists even past the band pipe dream

[@shaohao19]

Based af

[@Renkencen]

I know it was the wife fault but I felt like the son should of been smart to asked the OP himself about the "promise" than taking his mom word for it since she didn't owned the business.

[@Yamyatos]

Clearly neither Joe nor his father think along those lines of thought. Remember how towards the end they wanted to speak to the mom alone and both demanded that she talked OP into giving up his business, and then OP said something the ex husband actually had the nerve to claim he should just shut off since this was a discussion they had with her, not him? The only appropriate reply to that would have been "Dude, it's my business. Im literally the only one that is part of this discussion. Unlike you, who literally has nothing to do with any of this situation, so shut up." - but obviously neither Joe or his father have the capabilities for reasonable thought and thus think it's right to demand a person who doesnt even have control over the outcome to fix their problems, while acting like the one person actually involved in the matter shouldnt even be there in the first place lmao.

[@vexxama]

@@Yamyatoshit the nail on the head. It’s no wonder that first marriage fell apart. His business sense is terrible, his knowledge of the law appears non existent and his attitude is appalling.

[@rawrmcsaurs6052]

truly temperature (in degrees) IQ child

[@kaiserzaiser5002]

I am just going to say it, Joe is not smart. His 1st "plan" was forming a band with his friends, something they probably only saw as a hobby, and turn that into a musical career. His second plan was to inherit his stepdads business, something he never even bothered to confirm with his stepdad. He had 3 years to confirm this, and he never even asked. It seems like Joe is of the belief that fortune and success will just he handed to him. that everything would just go his way. In short, he is a naive fool. the mother is a AH for lying, but the son is a dumbass for believing her. but that is just my 2 sense.

[@vexxama]

@@kaiserzaiser5002 and the dads a moron for thinking he can strong arm a company away from someone and say they don’t have a say in it

[@tim.noonan]

SIL calls and berates OP for how he handled his marriage *Also SIL* - ‘It’s not my place to interfere in your marriage’ Why did this guy marry into this family of crazies?

[@frozenbonkchoy4986]

As far as I understand, the SIL was only acting as a messenger, but only stated what happened, and gave OP his wife’s demands. So I don’t think she actually interfered much, simply relayed a message

[@tim.noonan]

@@frozenbonkchoy4986OP said she started yelling at him about how handled this situation and that he needs to apologize to his wife. That’s interfering by any reasonable person’s definition.

[@vexxama]

Agreed, can’t stand the “it’s not my place to say, but” types. Especially when the advice is to just side with their relatives. Been on the sideline of so many fights where if people thought they were wrong or right depended on if they were family

[@frozenbonkchoy4986]

@@tim.noonan if I misheard and you’re right, then absolutely I agree. Not bothered to re listen, so I’ll just assume ur right here

[@mannydcbianco]

@@frozenbonkchoy4986 Yeah I believe OP said that his wife's sister called him "just to berate [him]". She was not merely passing on a message; she attacked him and demanded that he apologized for "being so hard on [OP's wife] and Joe" even though the whole mess was his wife's fault from beginning to end.

[@Rj-ij6ko]

Man…Joe seemed like a spoiled brat in the first post…but those updates…goddamn… So lemme get this straight, this kid, who has NEVER worked with Op on the business, thinks that he should be in charge of a family business that was passed down to Op from his father, when he has ZERO experience running or working at, the business. This kid needs a reality check, i give it 3 months max before he’s back begging fir money.

[@areszeudion5153]

5 months, since he still has his daddy supporting his nonsense.

[@crossanddream2]

Hes only spoiled because of his mom, the wife wouldn't let him get into a band and let him fail so he would learn on his own

[@thecursed01]

speaks for the education system that someone can graduate but still think it's a good idea to lead a company without experience

[@superstan2310]

Let me correct you, Joe has NO experience at ANY job. No fast food job, no volunteer job, no internship or apprenticeship. Nothing. Literally, nothing. The ex-husband and step son show how fucking stupid they are by 1. Thinking he would be any good at it and wouldn't run it into the ground immediately. 2. Thinking he has a good fucking chance at winning in court, despite nothing AT ALL being written down, and even if something was written down it would have been done without the consent of the actual OWNER and would be treated as well as if I had given my friend permission to be in charge of Microsoft. 3. Genuinely think that THE FUCKING OWNER is somehow NOT INVOLVED in a discussion about HIS OWN BUSINESS.

[@branard5748]

to be fair, this expectation was not completely out of left field. sure he went about it wrong after the fact but if I just spent a large portion of my life working towards a goal that, by all means, seemed reasonably achievable cause like "why would she just say that and NOT talk with him, they are married after all", even sacrificing another dream that even if it didn't go well would have been something great to learn at very least and givin him actual world experience too (as setting up band gigs are not easy and requires communication). he would have been better off if she was honest cause now he spent a lot of time on a degree that he took on with reasonable expectations that "hey I could be set up well with this". that and op mentions that in retrospect he did hint at that, showing that at very least he expected he knew. a lot of his later behavior kinda makes sense (even if heavily unreasonable) as honestly, bros probably in a horrible place now mentally. this expectation was made purely by the mother and, even if she's "trying to make it better" she is by no means privileged to forgiveness a little note: none of that is to say Joe is not in the wrong, he may be a victim here but his behavior is not healthy.

[@LaughingJokerProd]

So she knew she was in the wrong, continued to be in the wrong, and then when it blew up in her face, she blamed everyone else but herself?

[@tgoodfella]

No accountability her son shouldn't think business was his but the mother is a liar and manipulator, even when caught she twisted it to say I did it for your benefit he makes his own choices whether he fails or not. She is a toxic person that deserves no one

[@matthewmullins4046]

She at least wised up and apologized to OP after a week. Most of the time they don't.

[@tofarrtogo]

​@@matthewmullins4046 The cynic in me says this is not a good outcome for OP - she just realized that he had drawn a line in the sand and wasn't going to be directly bullied - he was willing to walk away from their marriage over this. My guess is she figured she could worm her way back in and then get her way using manipulation. In this case words are cheap, and OP would probably do well not to trust this person as their actions show they don't care about OP but find him useful.

[@matthewmullins4046]

@@tofarrtogo I thought the same until the story had her letting her son cut her off

[@mannydcbianco]

@@tofarrtogo Given that this was a pattern in their marriage, where she would screw up but OP was the one who had to chase after her and beg her for forgiveness, I don't think she will magically change long-term now just because OP finally put his foot down and stood his ground this one time. She folded this time, and accepted that she probably lost her son, but I don't believe for a second that she will be able to change who she is permanently. She will revert back to her old ways of making OP apologize and beg for forgiveness for things that aren't his fault.

[@npanther9181]

joes reaction proves he wasnt ready to own the bussiness

[@killshock360]

The mother was the biggest problem here. She should never have lied to her son and op. Does not matter if it was for a good reason. She did ruin his attempt at his dream. Doesn't matter if it's foolish, if he had failed, he would have learned himself. And also how she treated Op was terrible as well. The son was extremely childish too along with his father. How do they think they can just demand she make Op give the son the company. On top of that, they told op to shut up cause it was a family issue. That his opinion on his company didn't matter

[@LeDiableBlanc]

I agree, mostly. The son is just 21, he has more than enough time to still pursue a music career. If anything, this should be motivation to redouble his efforts to become a musician. The son comes off mostly as an entitled brat though, so that seems unlikely. Although, I 100% agree the mother shouldn't have lied to him or her husband, so the blow up from this situation is all on her.

[@IntegralKing]

the mom was the biggest problem for most of it, but at least she wizened up during her 2 weeks with her sister. it's the entitled kid that remained the problem and couldn't learn from this experience. Even if it was already a given and ha dan ironclad contract in place, someone who wanted to run a business should have been working in the business in its different capacities -- server, cook, marketing, etc, and should have been going over the books and understanding the clients, figuring out where to take it. He just expected to be handed it over wholesale with no knowledge or understanding. Hell, if he had done that, the husband probably would have given it or sold it to him down the line anyways, promise or no promise. So if anything, the true failure of the mom in this case was not raising a more respectful and hardworking kid, as opposed to using underhanded tactics to try to trick him into going to college. And besides that, the kid went to college -- is that 2 years for an Associates? 4 years college? 4 years + 2 for MBA? the husband said he was dating for 3 years and married for 2, and the mom said she had to use this to convince her son to go to college. That means that she definitely promised this business to him before they even got married. And what immature kid with an Associates in Business would ANYONE trust to run a business?

[@BaeBunni]

generally I agree, but it seems like the Joe and Ex are bigger problems. Like yea Mom is pretty awful to lie to her son and husband but at the same time I sorta get where she is coming from because her son is literally sprinting in his father footsteps with similar actions that ruined their marriage. Plus i'm sorry but if being in a band was his "dream" did he literally only spend his time during business school doing nothing but studying? No instrument practice? No song writing? For a dream the guy seems to have gave up on it instantly if it meant money.

[@ehtishamkhan2004]

​@@LeDiableBlancher lying about the business was her fault, that much is true. But Joe looks like an immature brat who doesn't listen to reason. Many musicians don't make it big, even if they are good. At least with a college degree, he would have a backup plan to fall back on. And it's not like going to college has stopped him from his dream. And it does look like the wife has genuinely admitted her faults and apologized for the things she did wrong, but her son's actions are unjustified.

[@robinjameson4261]

not only was she entitled that she was mind-blowingly stupid. the entirety of the money coming in for their household was from this business. did she expect to suddenly have resources painting pixie dust??

[@jotacatalan]

Tbh, the wife sounds like a control freak. She we hold a lie for 3+ years just so her son could get a college degree that he wouldnt probably wanted to begin with. The OP has to realize that if his wife could lie for some many years about something like that, she could and will probably lie to him about something else

[@AngeleiaKenobi]

This, absolutely. The whole situation is crap to begin with - but OP's mentioning how the wife used emotional manipulation multiple times in the marriage is a huge red flag for this woman. I don't get the feeling that Joe was actually asking for the business at the end, it feels more that he was using the one thing she'd leveraged against him (probably the whole marriage to OP) against her. To try and get her to admit that she had no power over what happened with the business - and thus, no power over Joe.

[@IntegralKing]

the husband said he was dating for 3 years and married for 2, and the mom said she had to use this to convince her son to go to college. That means that she definitely promised this business to him before they even got married. So either she convinced him to get an Associates degree as she was getting married. OR convinced him to go to a 4 year college like a year into dating the husband. And what immature kid with an Associates in Business would ANYONE trust to run a business?

[@penguinpingu3807]

She better keep her pants on* and ask for a divorce.

[@STAYATINYARMYSIN]

The first story “ that’s YOUR son , why would your son take over MY FAMILY business?” OP literally had no hand in raising her son they don’t even have a “father-son” bond.

[@pastelbee8125]

Dude so she felt comfortable enough to promise this man’s whole LIFE, his family business, but was too shy to even talk about with him

[@RepellentJeff]

“I was about to contact a lawyer today, but thankfully, she came back at noon.” Damn. He was *_so close_* to being free from that crazy.

[@mr.halfright]

It just sounds like she's constantly in control of him and thought that giving the business to Joe would be just one more thing she could pressure him into. Now she realizes she's going to lose her servant and the money he can offer, so now she's manipulating him into not leaving her control

[@TheSergio1021]

Man this wife is a piece of work. Blames husband for HER lie. Then leaves him and laments that she could lose her husband even though SHE left? What the hell?

[@fvckdat297]

that whole family is a piece of work........ Glad OP's wife is with OP now. CLEARLY she has some control issues, BUT the attitude and entitlement of the ex and son in that last update. "you have no business in this conversation" when they are LITERALLY talking about HIS business.

[@charminglady2011]

Yeah the ex and son are unfortunately too terrible of people. At first I empathize with Joe until we was such a jerk, apparently Op knows his wife more than we do so I won't judge her as harsh as Joe.

[@AdventureToWondrous]

@@charminglady2011I not sure how people are glossing over the fact that the mother scam him out of 3 years of his life with something he didn't want to do. She gave him a promise so he chose a route that would ensure his future but it turn out to be a lie. Of course he's gonna be irrational after that. Still a jerk but the mother is the biggest one here. Imagine you losing 3 years of your life doing something you don't want to cause a promise was made that would benifit your future but now you get nothing but a waste of 3 years of your life.

[@snaileriepimpson]

She could have said that he could *one day* possibly take over the business if he proved himself. To just promise the whole business to an inexperienced 21 year old is CRAZY. AND the fact that she kept this secret from OP shows she never had good intentions. She’s conniving and manipulative of both OP and her son. OP would be better off without her.

[@newavenger1534]

I don’t think the son is the AH just the wife. She had no right to lie just like that and think OP would go along with it point blank. Edit: just saw final update and now stand corrected. Son is delusional and deserves nothing.

[@Yamyatos]

The wife is partly AH, and certainly stupid for chosing this approach, but at least she had half-decent intentions. Still a weird human being i wouldnt want to be around.. but the son and his father definitely are AHs lol. Did you listen to the end of the story where they literally intended to not even invite OP to the discussion in which they tried to force the wife into talking OP into giving up his business? That's some special kind of entitled and dumb. Especially when you have the nerve to tell the one and only person who should be part of that discussion (OP) to "shut up, that's none of your business". Hard to be more AH than that.

[@inacook2285]

@Yamyatos She's a master manipulator. She's even got YOU fooled. If someone lied (FOR 4 YEARS out of the 5 they've known you) and manipulate you out of your business by crying and stamping their feet, you'd know better.

[@Yamyatos]

@@inacook2285 I literally wrote she is a weird human i wouldnt want to be around. Just that Joe and his father are *somehow even worse.*

[@rolandorban6248]

​@@Yamyatos I will just say the son is naive (with his mother of all people) but he went trough a lot of emotions in like 3 weeks so if we can accept the mother being emotional the kid is obviously emotional too. The mother is undoubtedly horrible whatever the intentions were what op fails to see is that everything especially music can be learned with enough practice so instead of doing a bachelor that he doesn't enjoy for a fals hope might as well just do the band thing and hope for the best

[@kaiserzaiser5002]

the other is a AH and a moron for lying. Of course her son would go no contact, their are better ways to motivate children then lying. What was she expecting to happen when the truth was reveled? The son is a lazy fool for believing. He had 4 years to confirm his mothers promise and he would only have to ask one question to discover the truth. Yet he never did. so he is ether lazy or stupid.

[@chessieray1465]

Joe is a lost cause. The wife started this mess, but he didn't think to maybe verify the false promise with OP, or do anything legit with his life. He's the only one out of his own friend group that was insistent on making the band happen with nothing to show for it or to fall back on. He is exactly like his dad.

[@kaiserzaiser5002]

exactly. all he had to do was ask one question to revel the lie, and he couldn't even do that. He honestly sounds lazy, meaning that a actual musical career was not going to happen. Absolute lost cause.

[@furretman3741]

and the fact his dad is doing all the talk by the end makes me think he's manipulating his son too

[@larissagomes451]

Why people accept this nightmare? Why did he marry this single mother that he always had to apologise and chase after? Marry that woman and got a spoiled brat of stepson, a nasty ex husband that will never go away and a intrusive sister in law. Why people accept trainwrecks like this? Does the person even worth it? All this hell for what?

[@AncalimaArashi]

Joe sounds entitled there at the end. Considering he never got a verbal confimation from the actual owner and never involved himself in it at all, how the hell did he think he'd get the business? like, did he think he could just sit in an office or some bullshit? Yikes.

[@kenontop-pl8uy]

That wife is crazy...first mistake not talking to her husband before making promises.

[@lisabiased7112]

joe could have told OP what his mom said and then he would have got his answer joe can ask for an internship at his buissness then see how far that takes him

[@finalfantasylord1]

honestly if I was OP I'd consider this divorce material she promised something she couldn't deliver ran away from her marital home for who knows long she was planning SIL likely kicked her out all that waiting on an apology that was never coming as she was clearly in the wrong. and how could OP keep silent when they started demanding she fulfil her promise that was HIS store they were trying to just hand over. ultimately she may have had good intentions getting him to go to college but she didn't consider his wants and desires especially since the music career would have gone no where since all the band mates moved on.

[@DarkEinherjar]

ESH, except for OP. The wife was totally out of her mind to make such a promise, despite her good intentions. She should've found another way or let Joe learn his life lessons for himself. She failed OP as a wife by pulling this stunt and then blaming HIM for the consequences. SIL says she doesn't want to interfere in his marriage... by interfering in his marriage? Give me a break. Joe and his father are both entitled and delusional. They really seem like the kind of people who only learn their lessons when life teaches them the hard way, and sometimes not even then.

[@randomperson8405]

Even with how this ended, I am not entirely sure this guy should be staying with that woman, she has shown him how she treats him and her loved ones, why would you stay for more of that.

[@crossanddream2]

He might as well be delusional as everyone else is in the story

[@Player2_1_0]

I know he's the 'villian' here, but i kinda feel for Joe. I myself plan on pursuing art, and if i was manipulated out of it for absolutely no reason other than 'mother knows best', id be upset. The entitlement was toxic, yes, but he sacrificed his dream of music for that business. Im not saying he should be given it, no, he clearly should not, but hos mother is so much more in the wrong here than OP is saying she is.

[@joshfly210]

The wife wanted OP to apologize so her bad decision to lie would be forgiven and help her bruised ego.

[@laynegrey2003]

All four of them are miserable tbh. The wife is controlling and prideful, Joe is entitled and so is his dad, and OP is only better than them until he takes his wife's side again, so much for "not fixing her messes again," eh bud?

[@knowwhoiamyet]

Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. This whole blaming his mother for "ruining his life" because now he can't join a band or whatever... I mean this in the most genuine way, but... *what?* College is what, a few years? In what world can you not join a band in your 20s? What law of nature is there that says you can't find success if you don't start playing in a band the moment you leave high school? I refuse to call him "the kid" in this story because he's an adult now and needs to smarten up, but he's certainly acting like one. He'd find some other reason for his failure to not be his fault if he did join a band. Comments on the mother's behavior not really needed. Don't promise people things that aren't yours to give away. Take accountability for your crap. Full stop.

[@rickywilliams1586]

Unfortunately, she didn't take accountability. She unironically believes that lying to him was a good thing. Just a case of everyone sucks except OP.

[@crossanddream2]

​@@rickywilliams1586 Op still sucks, he is pretty much staying with a women who has lied and caused a situation which could've been avoided. I bet if she hadn't caused the situation joe wouldn't have become an entitled brat

[@mr.knight2026]

Joe probably thinks that the business runs on its own 😂

[@DraxXThanos]

Zero accountability whatsoever she needs to grow up. The entitlement here too is through the roof

[@rawrmcsaurs6052]

she took accountability for her mistakes. Probably shouldve made it clear that her son was a shit musician tho. Son isnt the brightest either for thinking that anyone would just hand over their business to some college grad when it seems like he didnt put in any effort to learn the business, so the son is really to blame for being abhorrent

[@Artharia]

@@rawrmcsaurs6052 now she has to deal with the consequences that her son doesn't want to talk to her

[@rawrmcsaurs6052]

@@Artharia the son sounds like prick anyways, like OF COURSE he isnt going to get the business of which he has never seemed to have participated in. It was a shitty move from mom, but its just extremely dumb of the kid to get strung along all those years (3 years) while not thinking that he shouldve put in an effort to learn the reins of the business he is taking over

[@Sauceboss1992]

Dude finish the fucking video before commenting

[@DraxXThanos]

@@Sauceboss1992 I finished it, she may have made up for it but never took accountability she was just the victim in all this.

[@zobiaccancercrab29scotty74]

You promised him something that's not even yours and you didn't even talk to your husband about that to make sure it was guaranteed for him you just talked out your ass in other words so he can go to college😂😂😂😂

[@christianthrasher8677]

Did you watch the full video even the friends her son was gonna start a band with moved on to more important things sure she lied and messed up but think about it what was her sons plan after the band broke up

[@Artharia]

​@@christianthrasher8677 that would have been on him. She still lied and made him go to college through deceit. If this is America, it's even worse, because he most likely had to take student loans, not only using 3 years of his life (admittedly not a waste, but the money is still a lot)

[@zobiaccancercrab29scotty74]

Okay at first glance I thought she just promised him something that wasn't even his after watching it I realized that that boy is just as oblivious as his father now I'm on her side and the husband's side because at this point it's just him being f****** oblivious if you're that damn oblivious and entitled to the point that you can't even see how unreliable that career is and how your mother was looking out for you and trying to basically not make you do with your father did and you still can't appreciate that yeah I'm sorry to say that's what I'm 100% on the mother side but she's still wrong for promising him something that wasn't even his and the fact that he was writing on that or it was just going to the band was saying a lot

[@TrueBlunty]

​@@zobiaccancercrab29scotty74 u kmow she can be sued. lying about ownership of a business to force education is illegal due to the money aspect. he ca sue for every month he hasnt been working because he was told and the mom keeps admitting that she told him the buisness was his when he graduated. she will be stupid enough to say "i lied because i wanted my son to hage a good education" to the courts then they will rule in favor of the son. also ur husband is probably gona leave u becausebur son will be owed at 35% total rewarded to him right then. yes these cases have happened before.

[@TheKnightofAwesomeness]

​@@TrueBlunty Wait Really?

[@Shouroboros]

Damn, OP was *so* close to being free from that awful woman. He should've walked.

[@DezGrowSpot]

This is why men shouldn't date single mothers

[@Zenn7432]

The dumbest thing bout this is when Joe’s father shhs OP and tells him that his not part of this conversation, like bro you are begging for ops business not even letting him talk

[@p2Universe]

I gald someone noticed that. Like, you're not a part of this, but give all your shit.

[@ScanTronIndustries]

lol I think Joe was right about college wasting his time. Attitude like that he won’t keep any good job.

[@LinkPizza]

How are you going to tell someone to convince their husband to give up his company, and when the husband says something, you tell him he’s not a part of the conversation. It’s his company. He’s 100% part of the conversation now.

[@Artharia]

"im proud of her" bro she literally lied to her son, she didnt defend herself, she defended her lies. I was on the husband's side at first cause he wasnt asked bout this but when he started to blame joe for this shit hes equally as shitty as his wife

[@FrutoseDeMorango]

Joe's thinking that he is entitled to the business doesn't make him right. The wife already apologized and there's not really much else to do, so the husband is in the right and if Joe's want to cut his mom off, that's up to him, but OP has nothing with it

[@iamsatanjr]

Nah, to be honest, Joe also sounds like an entitled asshole. He didn't show any initiative or interest in the business, outside of "glad I'll be taking over after graduation" remarks that OP rightfully considered a joke - given that there was no action to back it up. So, from his perspective, Joe might as well say that right after graduation his entire career plan was to become a billionaire. May sound like a funny answer, but ridiculous as an actual career plan - especially if you don't actually do anything on your own that would bring you even one iota closer to that. Then the guy got mad because his stepdad wouldn't sign over his family business - the business said stepdad never promised to sign over, and the one that Joe himself never showed *actual* interest at participating (let alone running). He got so mad, in fact, that when the initial talk failed, he fist tried emotional blackmail of "i'm gonna cut you off", then ran back to his failed-businesman-dad, with whom they hatched THE dumbest plan two grown men can come up with: badger mother into signing over OPs business, which she has no stake in - or they'll sue (jeez, with that kind of big brain 4d chess planning skills I wonder why Joe's dad failed as businessman). All while the actual business owner was supposed to not say a thing. In what universe is that supposed to actually work? By this logic, someone can demand YOU give them ownership of Amazon, or they'll sue YOU, with reasoning "some person that has no stake at Amazon said you'll give it over to me - so give it over to me NOW". And if somehow Jeff Bezos, who actually owns the company, ended up in the same room and tried to interject - they said to him "shut up Jeff, you have no say in this conversation". Doesn't that sound crazy?

[@Artharia]

@@FrutoseDeMorango at the end I admit he and his dad were acting entitled but the mom still messed up big time and the stepdad isn't really very much in the wrong, he's just pissed and defending his wife despite her being in the wrong, so everyone sucks here but mostly the wife. Let's assume the wife offered to pay his student loans after he graduated and when he graduated she was like "loljk"

[@Artharia]

@@iamsatanjr just posted a reply to someone else where I do acknowledge that Joe is being entitled at the end

[@crossanddream2]

True, the wife started this whole situation. She refused to let her son fail at a band and lean his lesson, noo she has to lie and when being caught it's everyone but her own fault for it. I bet Joe would've been a good person had he not been raised by those entitled people. It's honestly sad knowing how he acted after finding out that all it was just a lie, he really should've been blaming the wife and being mad at her and not op

[@Moniik4eva]

The entitlement of wife and her son is ridiculous

[@SirKanti1]

Assuming that the son took out loans that's about $40,000 worth of debt she just gave to her son for no reason. Great mom.

[@yamairad1]

He also studied business when he could have studied something else. Mom, never thought about him and his happiness. He could do other things that wasn't get a business degree.

[@merykhan97]

Why is Joe entitled to ANYTHING owned by OP ?! That wife needs to know her place.

[@edenfieldjason]

How dare they blame her for the things that she screwed up

[@krystinreives7776]

The entitlement is strong with Joe in this story. Sure his mom is a jerk for lying to him and op but she was trying to look out for him. It’s on him for not being willing to acknowledge or appreciate it even if it way she went about it was messed up. What unacceptable is how Joe and his dad were being disrespectful to op and his wife. Like threatening to sue for control over op’s business outright disrespecting him whilst screaming at op’s wife demanding she convince op’s to give up his business to them. While saying she ruined his life by tricking him into going to college.🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

[@soco13466]

Never make promises someone else has to keep, especially the way this turned out. That would really grind my gears. She never discussed getting her son to go to college in some other way, with her husband.

[@scottpelletier7095]

What gets me is how OP didn't even know stepson was not planning to go to college and the wife cooked up this elaborate multi-year ruse without getting backup from either her husband or her Ex.

[@arondschiltz547]

Ya op should probably leave his wife. First, she maintained a lie to both him andnher aon for 4 years, which is bad enough. After her lie was exposed, she not only left op out to dry, but she actively blamed him for her sons negative reaction. Then, it comes out the only reason she lied in the first place was to coerce her son into doing what she wanted.

[@joshuadickey7221]

This woman can't take accountability for not supporting her son or ex husbands. She is playing the... poor me card.

[@ChaplainRaziel01]

So OP’s wife tried to write a check her butt couldn’t cash by promising something that wasn’t hers. NTA it’s OP’s business.

[@brandondiaz9755]

4 mins in and my comments thus far is Divorce her and forget about that whole family… You don’t need to apologize to anyone Your wife should be apologizing to you.

[@okiamherenow6372]

Feels like she wanted to peer pressure you into giving your business up

[@supersonicmario56]

Okay, the mom is partially the AH not entirely for lying, but mainly for not telling her husband about it while also assuming that he’d just go along with this crazy idea of hers out of nowhere. Unfortunately she was trying to prevent him from going through the very thing he needed to experience; failure. I get that parents don’t want their kids to go through that, but some of them need to be knocked down so they’ll learn to get back up, especially the ones that think that nothing bad will ever happen to them, and Joe was one of those types.

[@elylioney6390]

I would say all those reasons would make the mum 100% the AH. I was also thinking that maybe the son should've just been let to join the band, so that he can realise it for himself.

[@supersonicmario56]

@@elylioney6390 A parent lying to protect their kids and keeping them from making terrible choices? That's not something that I would label as an overall bad thing. It is a morally gray area when it comes down to it, and in her case, it sounds like a situation where she should've just bit the bullet and let the boy fail and let reality give him a good humbling, despite how much she wanted to prevent the outcome for his future. She's not the AH for being a considerate mother, but she's definitely the AH for being an inconsiderate wife.

[@royalbluegaming7763]

I still am not a fan of the mom here. It seems OP forgave her too fast, and then completely ignored everything she did in favor of "Son Bad. Mom Good."

[@riotguards]

Moral of the story? don't promise something you don't have the ability to give.

[@redbonehaitian]

Smh, I really wish ppl would stop pushing college on these kids .

[@billmelater6470]

Son and mother are delusional.

[@SilveryBlue1010]

The victimhood of his wife is disgust me. Why would OP should apologize???

[@emmz34chills17]

How can you lie to your husband and son for a unknown years then ask for an apology

[@CreditR01]

Wife had no right to promise her kid anything of OP's.

[@DivusMagus]

If someone admittedly did something wrong but tries everything in their power to turn it into you. That is abusive behavior. It would be no different if she lied by cheating and blamed him for working hard to provide for the family.

[@dominonine]

If this is real then big ups to OP. There are hundreds of businesses all over the world that tank because they were taken over by the boss's son. If his employees were aware of what had happened they would throw him a party for standing his ground like this.

[@MedusssssaChristo]

She has a history of doing this, OP Is always chasing her & fixing It. That’s not a good marriage, In a marriage your spouse Is your teammate. You’re both supposed to be of service to each other. He should absolutely divorce her.

[@mannydcbianco]

If my wife promised my business to her son from a previous marriage without asking me or even telling me, then yelling at me when I refused, then leaving for two weeks and having her sister call me to berate me and demand that _I_ apologize, she would not be my wife anymore. All trust and respect would instantly be gone. Love might linger, but love is not enough. Without trust and respect love means nothing. OP is insane to take a manipulative person like that back, especially given that this was not a one-time thing but rather a pattern: _she_ screws up but _he_ has to chase after her and beg for forgiveness. This is unhealthy and toxic. The fact that he stood up to her this one time won't magically change her behavior for the rest of time.

[@GereldJohnson]

Wife caused all this nonsense trying to baby her son.

[@salomarty4972]

I just realised that the creator changed some parts of the parkour to make them smoother lol

[@Yamyatos]

Joe clearly was not ready for the business, nor actually interrested in it (or he would have tried to integrate sooner). His mom clearly was wrong about lying. And Joe clearly is delusional about how she ruined his life and future - BUT this opens a whole pot of discussions that are less clear. Realistically speaking, the fewest musicians are able to make a living. That's just a fact. And realistically speaking, a college degree at least opens doors. But was it right of his mother to take this chance form him? He could have gone to college later after failing the musician stuff too, wasting a couple of years on that but making his own decisions, ideally without feeling regrett. The mom basically forced her son to do what was best for him, but less so objectively, and more so in her opinion. Now in this particular case, i like most would be somewhat on the moms side. But what if the situation was similar, but the goals were different? What is the mom, for example, wanted her son to take over the family business and used a lie to make him work there for a couple years, while the son actually wanted to go after a degree in psychology. Similar story. Most psychology students dont really get paid well in the end, and objectively speaking, if the family business runs well, it's probably "better" for the kid - but does a parent, no matter the intentions, really have the right to force their kid into a future they dislike, just because they think their plan is better than that of their child? Of course i dont have an answer for it, but before siding with the mom too openly, i think people should consider that the generalized opinions they may state on this topic could be applied to way less cut and clear situations aswell.

[@purplepotato8849]

The wife's absolutely cracked, she tried to give away his business and make a decision she had no right making, and then she's crying and demanding an apology? I hate when people are in the wrong, and try to guilt you into being sorry. Also, her son absolutely would have run that business into the ground - he has no interest in it given his passion is music, and he has no experience.

[@proteus2601]

wow, what a manipulative control freak, OP should run ASAP

[@ajivesboi]

lmaooo no way she flipped all that back on her son

[@christian9411]

The entitlement of that family is insane, I would have divorced my self from that craziness after the first interaction with ex

[@teamrisk41]

Your wife pulled some shady crap , back her crap and leave it on the porch. You have no reason to apologize

[@ThomasB-G]

They do not understand that the son has a right to his own wrong decisions, if he wanted to be a musician instead of studding he is allowed to even if its the wrong decision in the long run

[@noornhn3525]

Mum was in the wrong. After the truth came out, she could help her son find a position elsewhere. Tell him that she's going to help him job hunt for the same years he spent in colleage and if he still fails to secure a post after her help, then he can do it on his own since he's already grown up and needs to learn in his own

[@jackchop1576]

The wife is the biggest AH even though ESH. She left her ex for a failed business venture, promised her son the new hubby's business and her flipping out on him felt more like she was mad that her long game scam failed. Had she found a way to get OP to give her son his business, I have no doubt in my mind that she'd divorce him. OP is the AH to himself here for dealing with any of this.

[@Torencresent]

While she did lie, its good that things turned out like this. Got to see what his true character was when he realized he wasn't getting a free pass.

[@albertgongora6944]

This is why I'm one of those people that constantly says this is why you shouldn't date a single parent because this is the type of crap it comes with and I understand okay Joe had his own idea in life to go off of which was being in a band that could have been a successful thing for him as a musician but at the same time I don't blame the wife/mother in the situation either because it is good to have something like a small degree in something even if it's just to go to college to be electrician you know whatever smaller career path you can fall back on that you can be successful in but the fact that she had to literally trick him into something that he was never going to have in his hands to begin with is really sad and also she should be a universe self as a mother to literally lie to Joe and tell him that he was going to have the business overnight the way she put it that's how it sounds like to me but neither way you know OP did the right thing and not only is he not the jerk in the situation I don't even understand why the hell he married this woman especially of things were never going to be good between him and his stepson cuz that's clearly what he is even though he may not be that way to the OP but at this point in life since he's married to Joe's mother technically that does make him a stepfather but neither way like I said I don't understand why people think it's such a great idea to settle down with a single parent

[@tim.noonan]

Who the fuck is gonna read this? It’s all one run-on sentence. Have you ever heard of a period?

[@TheSergio1021]

Being an electrician is actually a fantastic career plan. A trade school is probably cheaper, you can build your own business as an electrician, and you wont waste time on useless classes.

[@Naofumi_Ivatani]

I guess this showed OP and her wife to show his true self to them

[@markmessina7895]

Tell her to let him take over her business .

[@SummonerOrthan]

In what universe did she think that would work?? Really??

[@Alverant]

Wife is the AH for lying. Son and Ex and the AH for demanding and expecting so much from someone else for so little.

[@alext9320]

Kind of messed up that Joe is painted out to be the bad guy by the end. Your wife lied to her son for YEARS, tricked him into giving up on his dream because of a promised future she knew wasn't hers to give, and her first reaction to you saying no to handing over your business was to get mad at you? Your stepson isn't the villain of this story. He's just a fool. Your are caught in your wife's web and if she can lie to her son for years, she can do the same to you.

[@Black-Rose12]

I really appreciate my Indian parents knocking some sense into me once in a while So I don't have superficial dreams like I could join a band and become famous and rich easily

[@BrainInJar]

I would have serious trust issues with my wife if she did that.

[@jacobyflower3344]

The mother is garbage, and im willing to bet this wouldnt be the first time shes manuilplated and lied to those around her to get her way. (If this was true)

[@dakotatavizon9360]

I've had to do the same to a buddy of mine who tried starting his music career in singing. The guy's singing voice sounded as bad as nails screeching over a chalkboard. He still sings to this day, but more as a hobby these days and on platforms like soundcloud or youtube. Finally convinced him to get into a career that could get him somewhere where he'll be able to sing however he wanted on his free time. I understand where the mother is coming from, but in today's world, college degrees don't matter anymore or have very little say in getting people jobs.

[@utnis]

OP seems like a person with a love for his wife while keeping the boundary firm on giving up his business because of her lie. That he felt bad for not checking up on her while she was completely in the wrong...made me wish I could do that when I was wronged. Did anyone else feel something?

[@supreme84x]

They don't need a contract. If Joe has any emails or texts where the agreement is mentioned, it is enough to take them to court. Although best he could get would be 50% of the business depending on what state/country they are in.

[@chrisj.1608]

If you're really going to promise your son like that you really need to sit down and talk to your husband about it you can't just make a promise like that and expect your husband to be on board on it when he doesn't even know what's going on😊

[@hotspotsportal6699]

Honestly, the wife, the son and the ex husband all suck, he should divorce her and start a new life without these cuckoo birds.

[@elizabethgwekwerere4704]

Sounds like guilty tears. Weaponized tears sickening women I hope he made the right decision for himself!!

[@ryanjones875]

How can she give away someone else's Business and force them into retirement and possibly poverty?

[@NeoLotex]

Why would he even think about making Joe his successor, he's not even his kid. He could've also just worked a few years under OPs guidance to prove that he's capable, but that seemingly wasn't good enough. OP is also only early 50s, is he supposed to just retire and not need any money going forward?

[@Only1199]

Sister: it’s not my place to interfere in your marriage. Me: so why are you interfering in their marriage then?

[@thatsleepyman]

her son, her problem.

[@Luna51111]

OP is mostly in the right, but it still rubs me the wrong way that neither they nor the mother ever seemed to get that forcing someone to do something they hate for 3 years, go into massive amounts of debt on a lie that they will be able to recuperate it, while simultaneously giving up the thing they cared about most at the time is a huge negative, and whether she had good intentions or not does not change that fact. Saying sorry does not buy back 3 years of his life, or the cut connections of friends to change his life to a place that is now a dead end, or remove the debt from college. Demanding that someone give up their buisness to make amends for someone else's mistake is not a reasonable request either here, but I can definitely understand the son cutting her off completely if she keeps insisting her only fault was that she lied.

[@GrimmyRu13]

6:02 she claims it isn’t her place to talk about the business and Joe isn’t his son but still promised Joe a business that wasn’t hers nd blamed OP 😂😂 make it make sense

[@RagnarokAvatar]

There's no repairing this relationship. He just has too much of his father in him. Hopefully there will be a day when he realizes that his mother was right, but I think he'll need to sink much more deep for him to learn that lesson.

[@zzzz-fk8ce]

LOL HIS LYING MOTHER WAS RIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

[@shelbythompson9437]

"It has nothing to do with you, so stay out of our business. anyway, so give me your business."

[@nathansteele4358]

Tbf I know parents who’s son wanted to join a band He always called his mum unsupportive But I know he couldn’t play smoke on the water properly Smoke on the water! He was in his 20s and was struggling with beginner songs Sometimes you have to be realistic and say “probably not good enough to go 100% that direction”

[@yvonnefobbs6232]

Story #1: I would have went turned the car back around and went straight back to Joe! She lied and tried to throw him under the bus! I hope that OP has a prenup agreement!!

[@noneedtoknow07]

Things you don't say when trying to make amends with someone after you messed up. "You'll thank me later." "I'd do it again." But seriously that whole family is nutty. OP chose a great group of people to attach himself to. Though Joe is an idiot, seriously wants to a join a band when he's not even that great a musician.

[@jaylarkin4331]

Joe was such a simple boy. 😂😂😂😂. Why would he believe that?

[@robotface42O]

they all should have communicated more. the mother was mostly at fault but the son knew it was OP's business and he should have gone to him. The fact that he didn't, makes me think he could just make his mom force op to give his business over. its like if my dad told my stepmom to give me one of her prized possessions but never told her. like If I wanted it I should go straight to her, no middleman. If he came and gave interest into his business it would show that he is willing to make some effort but he just avoided him for 3 years. that is not someone I would want to run a business. No he shouldn't leave her. You are apart of the problem, if something isn't perfect you will just leave. no one is perfect and to expect perfect is just stupid but I know what you would say, please get a real relationship. its not all sunshine and rainbows

[@Utop10ai5]

BUT SHE LITTERALY LIED FOR 3 YEARS ur a tool

[@SuperThekid1991]

I ain't gunne lie OP sounds like a doormat

[@crossanddream2]

True, it's surprised knowing he didn't leave sooner. I know some who would leave before that all went down