Wives and in-Laws - That's Messed Up! - Nouman Ali Khan

[@sisis6395]

great points made here. Men like these are the reason why I fear marriage. May Allah grant us spouses that are understanding of what being human is, rather than serve their own agenda. We need to study our deen. Too much ignorance happening in the name of Islam

[@yasbae4165]

If all Muslim follow what is Allah is saying in the Quran they will be better for themselves and the people around him/her.

[@mdgfosho]

Ameen. So true sis!

[@peonieisparta328]

me, too :-(

[@jbhiyari]

Ameen..Sis..May Allah have a mercy on us.

[@deqaali9167]

+Sisi S I totally agree!!

[@kirinmalik9843]

My ex-husband was abusive in every way you can imagine. It started with him isolating me from my friends and family. That was just his way of setting the stage so that when things escalated to violence, I could not turn to the people who loved me the most, since I had "cut them off". This controlling behavior should not be taken lightly. Ladies please be careful of anyone who exhibits this kind of behavior.

[@Ashnesss]

Kirin Malik great comment! There are many red flags to look out for. I cut off someone who felt rejected afterwards and has stalked me for 2 yrs. He poked his nose in my friends and told them not to meet me. He has hacked my phone. He recently commented from a fake profile that he wanted to teach me a lesson. He's almost 30 and not established. He's a complete psycho! I've prayed for a very long time for Allah to keep him away from me. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. It's important to recognise abusive behaviour for what it is!

[@beautyandmessK]

😥😥😥

[@rssheedsahak8555]

Merry me

[@moeedshaikh1]

@@Ashnesss Do you have heart?

[@moeedshaikh1]

@@Ashnesss All that you say I can tell you that he can be a better FBI agent and earn more than you could save him and just put your conditions. Gove another chance.

[@proudamerican399]

Muslim or not, when a man forbids his wife from speaking with and seeing her family, this is classic abuse.

[@Bolgavets]

I understand your point but there can be a scenario where her family is abusive and toxic.

[@MissUnderstood17]

My dad this this to my mum and now my brothers wife is doing it to him which also affects my mum.

[@worshipthecreator9081]

If he forbids his wife not see her family he should do the same and not see his family.... let's see how he takes it and how long it will last. It's a form of Oppression. Not letting your wife out without you tagging along will through her into depression. Might as well not be married.

[@sweetpeaw48]

Bolgavets I agree

[@haketyu7891]

@@Bolgavets Even so. It is no one's right to stop her. Toxic has nothing to do with the argument.

[@proQuran]

"When you have to blackmail someone to do something using the religion, that's ultimate evil." YAAAAAAAASSS. You can have a guy who prays 5x's a day in the masjid & reads Quran & is even a hafiz who will do something like this, using religion as a crutch to justify his oppression towards his wife or others. Characteristics like these are not only hypocritical, but drive people AWAY from the Deen, or can make someone not want to marry someone "religious" out of fear. Islam grants tranquility in life & gives us a solution to all our problems. It's us who mess things up & constantly tarnish it's good name with our un-Islamic behavior. Jazakallahu Khayran for this much needed reminder. May Allah ﷻ grant you Jannah for all your efforts.

[@switjasmin70]

This case has many red flags typical of abuse. Nothing to do with religion. Also domestic abuse be it emotional or physical tends to run in families since men may repeat their childhood abuse they witness in their parents'marriage. Nothing to do with Islam. But due to culture and/or upbringing.

[@cathyb2967]

shakhir r Yes ..my ex. Used religion to control me and make me obey and submit to him .l was his sex slave .thats how it felt .

[@cathyb2967]

shakhir r Im laughing now ..but l wasnt then .Everyday he used me ..I had to pleasure him with my mouth too ..he would make me oneel while he sat watching tv .and use my mouth for his pleasure ..then after ages he would force me to swallow ..He would make me go naked around the house too somedays ..just so he could take pleasure from looking at my body .And he could feel me ..and use me whenever he felt like it . He forced me to bend over too ..and take him in my rear regularly .

[@cathyb2967]

shakhir r No ..hes not ....but lm free of him .

[@cathyb2967]

shakhir r No ..l didnt ..

[@CRUZEOO]

love the camera angle and the cinematography on this video, looks like a tv series show

[@engaml9522]

i will be a good example for a good marriage inshAllah :) pray for me to do that

[@syeddawood566]

ameen

[@engaml9522]

+Dawah Team jazakum Allah khairan

[@MrBossmedia]

Ameen,Can you check out my channel?

[@uponsunnah6986]

Brother, one advice I will give you is that it's not about how you will treat your wife. It's about how your family will treat her and your ability to balance between your mother and your wife. It will be a great fitnah. Make sure you're always respectful to your mother and give your wife all of her rights as a husband. Do not please your wife at the expense of displeasing your parents, or vice versa. I made the mistake of pleasing my wife but then being extremely rude to my parents because of their mistreatment of my wife.

[@zeezeebo]

+asdf asdf The best thing is to not stay in the same house with ur parent once you get married.

[@faakhirarasool]

This is absolutely something our society needs cuz we are really Messed up within our own understandings of seen....

[@sixelab8600]

Very good speech. Some men forget we woman were made equally of men, not to be stepped on. I pray to Allah Almighty that kind of men realize what they do and stop hurting women :(

[@suveeraamin5100]

YA ALLAH (SWT) PLEASE ACCEPT MY SINCERE DUA THAT ALL MY MUSLIM (AND NON-MUSLIM) SISTERS ARE FREE FROM ALL THE UNSPEAKABLE AND UNIMAGINABLE OPPRESSIVE ATROCITIES FROM THEIR HUSBANDS FOREVER AMEEN!!! MY HEART IS BLEEDING SADNESS FROM ALL THIS, MAY ALLAH (SWT) HEAL ALL THE SISTERS HEARTS FOREVER!!!

[@bayyinah]

+Suveera Amin Ameen.

[@suveeraamin5100]

+Bayyinah Institute JAZAK ALLAH KHAIR, I ALSO JUST CAME ACROSS THIS ARTICLE "LIVING WITH MOTHER-IN-LAW DAMAGES WOMEN'S HEALTH" www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1093724/How-living-mother-law-damage-womans-health.html

[@chessmanzender7530]

+Suveera Amin when husband agrees to leave alone his mother, but when your children agrees with his wife to leave you alone, what do you think of this?

[@suveeraamin5100]

***** JAZAK ALLAH KHAIR

[@omkenoke7851]

Suveera Amin ilahije kraj metara stoji majka

[@shamila2008]

unfortunately this is predominantly found in south Asian men from Bangladeshi and Pakistani backgrounds. Men that do this are abusing their wives and Allah does not like injustice. if she has parents and family alive, he should not stop her from seeing them and if he does, may he fear Allah.

[@sweetsongs2042]

Scholars recommend that a husband must let his wife meet her parents at least "once a week".

[@twocrazyboys4367]

Yes coz of Hindu culture

[@VinesMoviesPranksVMP]

Not every Pakistani or Bengali men’s are not like that. But there are some and I believe it should change

[@brownintown1799]

Add Indian origin, most of husband and in laws are like that. And they don't even think it is wrong.

[@VinesMoviesPranksVMP]

Bisma Ijaz where did u get this information. Where is your source that says that most men’s are like smh 🤦‍♂️?

[@thebachu786]

i think its important to distinguish between cultural norms/practices and the religion, sounds like a desi muslim wife who is trapped in her house. may Allah help ease her oppression .

[@halalcosmetics6819]

Aameen

[@dailyhadithguy]

+thebachu786 salam alaykom, I record videos everyday about the prophet Muhammad PBUH and a new Hadith everyday, check them out and if you like them please subscribe. thank you

[@satellite964]

+thebachu786 more like a socio-economic issue

[@Afalaa]

ASC AKHI. WHAT DO YOU MEAN DESI?

[@SamihaKaiser]

+Afalaa the indian subcontinent, I assume...very patriarchal societies

[@Chicagomuslim]

Ugh I hate men like that, who want to "control" their wife.

[@beastkaybyt2865]

Nazia F. Ali i disagree with both of you how Nouman explained it was that each team needs a captain and so the husband is the captain of the family and so he can tell the wife what to do . However this is to an extent if she feels she is in the right she can go to a qadhi to gain her rights .

[@beastkaybyt2865]

Abdul Raffay not all women are spoilt brats they are humans and belong to Allah so treat them with a bit of respect yes the husband has obligations but he cannot force her to do something because it is her right to choose and Allah gave her that right who are you to take away that right Allahu a'lam

[@Chicagomuslim]

Excuse me? Why don't you go do more research and read more about Prophet Muhammad and how he treated his wives before you open your mouth homeboy. Seems like you lack some important knowledge on your deen. YES husbands have a right over their wives, but wives are equal to their husbands as well Allah says in the Quran: "And from him (Adam) He created his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship.)" And let me advise you bro, as Muslims we should be giving Da'wa, and show people the beauty of Islam not the opposite. Islam is such a beautiful religion, dont scare people by saying, "women are spoiled brats" and "you must obey". The concept of marriage is very deep in Islam, you must first understand that before preaching about it. Salaam.

[@sadiaahmed7453]

yes but the obligation on women is to obey their husbands and so even if the husband is being unreasonable she she has to obey. In this video it explains that marriage is a partnership,compromise etc. Those describe a egalitarian marriage one which cant happen if Muslims state that the man is the leader because its a leadership and follower relationship.

[@Chicagomuslim]

You said; " but the obligation on women is to obey their husbands and so even if the husband is being unreasonable she she has to obey." That is not true. If he is being unreasonable, babe you need to stand up for yourself. He has the right to support you and take care of you, but you cant just let him be unreasonable and rude to you, because that can lead to more issues in a marriage. Both need to be reasonable. Please don't ever let anyone control you. In the end we all will be accountable for our OWN deeds not your husbands or children's. I am not saying dont respect your husband or listen to him, what I am saying is, nobody can control anyone. Only Allah is in control of you.

[@svltana.b]

Masha Allah! Our community so need to hear this! Thank you very much!!!!!

[@fatouk.ceesay9788]

May Allah grant us spouses that will help us fasten relationships.

[@WakeUpUmmahchannel]

+Fatou K. Ceesay To Get Amazing Stories and Reminders Please, Subscribe to our channel

[@be.botanicals3669]

Ameen

[@halalcosmetics6819]

Aameen

[@syeddawood566]

Ameen

[@TheFleurChic]

+Fatou K. Ceesay Ameen

[@ericjason4732]

He is damn correct... Im not a muslim. As a human being..telling... what he told was all are magical truth...

[@hadisage9237]

He is a really smart and knowledgable person, it seriously only takes common sense to understand the points he make.

[@darklight38]

Much love and respect to Nouman Ali Khan and everyone who works with him. What I've noticed from many of his marriage videos is that the husbands mentioned, were never truly marriage material to begin with. They allow their insecurities and misogyny to cloud their judgement. Which, makes me wonder, why their proposal was accepted in the first place. We have many good brothers out there who don't receive a "yes" because they have the right career, but don't look like David Beckham or they have character, deen and attraction but don't have the right career. I think elders need to be more reasonable with their marriage criteria and the youth need to let go of superficial standards.

[@Priya-rf7ov]

Im not a Muslim but so impressed by Islam

[@wolffiab5777]

My dad was like that with my mum. Violent as well. To the point he padlocked us inside the house when he went to mosque. It caused us so much pain as children that it has affected our entire lives. My mum has lost her physical and mental health and we cannot even function as normal. He never loved or cared for us, but he took our mothers care and love away from us aswell. And my dad was someone who never missed Salah in the mosque, read the Quran every single day, twice a day... I am waiting for the day of justice for the pain to go away.

[@Mika-sp1cn]

I love this series so much.

[@WakeUpUmmahchannel]

+mxshti To Get Amazing Stories and Reminders Please, Subscribe to our channel

[@dailyhadithguy]

+mxshti salam alaykom, I record videos everyday about the prophet Muhammad PBUH and a new Hadith everyday, check them out and if you like them please subscribe. thank you

[@leilonima]

No one is a slave of anyone - this situation is abuse Muslim women should know human rights in a relationship - Shukran sheikh 🙏

[@uzmaadnan1757]

This abuse through control in the name of Islam is way too common than you'd imagine. Greater tragedy is that our ulema, even female scholars do not address these issues openly and if a woman dare to go to a respected religious person for help, the only help she gets is an advice for not her husband but for herself to be "patient" and "obedient" to her husband because Islam is all about patience. Our ulema & religious leaders virtually never dare to touch the subject of prevailing mental torture in joint family systems. Ironically, joint family system is cherished & honored and considered as holy as part of Islam, so its a big taboo to speak against its evils.

[@Ashnesss]

Uzma Adnan that's in India and Pakistan. I think many scholars today speak of abuse!

[@CJ-bb3yv]

@@sweetsongs2042 tf u mean? I m not muslim and me and my family is happy asf rn way better then woman being forced and beaten , abused by their husbands smh and all they do is choke it up to "Quran" Quran said it all so we did it smh Islam is more like a cult than a religion smh

[@sweetsongs2042]

@@CJ-bb3yv I didn't mean to offend you really. But, how can you sum up the whole Islam that challenges all the philosophies of the world just in a one statement? Without reading the Holy Quran critically and without any prejudice, how can you form an opinion about it? Never mind me pls. If you have made your peace with God, that is enough! Remember, yours and my God is the Same. For me the One God, and for you whatever you Name Him - All Beautiful Names Belong to Him.

[@jakecake51]

Being patient and trying to work things out is the first step. There's always the last resort after knowing you tried your best. Allah is most merciful.

[@twocrazyboys4367]

It's because of pathetic Hindu culture which seeps in all Desi's be it Pakistani Indian or Bangladeshi they have this pathetic tradition of kanya daan and saaas ka suno joint family system which actually ruins everything.islam protects every bodies right so stop blaming islam.this behaviour has nothing to do with Islam.

[@dramina2326]

Majority of husbands are insecure and psychopaths to some extent. Smart men treat their wives smartly.

[@kaminamusashi8376]

let's not start about the woman 😂

[@Bolgavets]

I don't believe that to be true. If it is true, it would be to a small extent of insecurity / psychopathic behavior within the majority because I have not seen any noticeable signs. Could just all be in your head and you have a biased view against Men. You don't mention anything about women being insecure or psychopaths.

[@w3debugger]

The issue can be from both sides, Sometimes, the girl loved a guy, and married to another guy, but keep meeting the first guy, then when her husband felt insecure, the society made him evil. 🤦🏻‍♂️ Both can went to extreme, it’s not something you can generalize...

[@waytoguidance]

​@@w3debuggerThat is something in which clearly it shows the woman is at fault.. She can't have extra marital affair that is absolutely haram and a major sin.. However, in this story it is the man who is being unjust and a tyrant.. its true that many men have taken the meaning of "qawwam" in a wrong way

[@w3debugger]

@@waytoguidance Unfairly accusing someone of wrongdoing without comprehending the reasons behind their actions is unjust. For instance, a friend of mine is encouraging (not coercing) their family to avoid socializing with certain families due to persistent gossip about other relatives. If his wife consistently disregards his warnings and engages in backbiting at home, and my friend insists on enforcing the prohibition, I wouldn't label my friend as the wrongdoer but rather his wife. While some husbands may indeed be at fault, it's crucial not to generalize Sharia based on isolated incidents. When addressing issues related to blameworthy husbands, it is equally essential to address exceptional cases involving blameworthy wives.

[@rummaankhurshid7625]

I am loving this series. Bayyinah institute needs to do this series again.. please!! 💯❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@tonelillolsenkeys6513]

Regardless of religion there needs to be mutual respect and love for each other. My husband and I live by the rule: Do to others what you want others to do to you. And 17 years later we are still happily married and very much in love.

[@cutkillerification]

The concept is somehting fresh and i like it...keep up ..may allah (swt) bless all of you

[@WakeUpUmmahchannel]

+cutkillerification To Get Amazing Stories and Reminders Please, Subscribe to our channel

[@nadzk2378]

a beautiful reminder as always from brother nouman . May Allah swt enable us to become the best of husbands and wives, and uphold the rights and responsibilities that come with marriage and every relationship we have with others. Ameen.

[@halalcosmetics6819]

Aameen

[@chaerinnabilafitriyah9673]

MASHAALLAH im not even married but this is so important cuz this kinda situation happens A LOT 😭😩👌🏼

[@eshalusman6419]

It is dangerous how in our society, that is the man deciding whether the woman should meet her parents or not.. how much should she meet... when should she meet.. and even should she work... should she go out.. WHAT IS THAT? A woman is a human being - a full independent thinker. I am not saying that the man should not be the Head of the house but him deciding the woman's personal affairs like asking his permission to go out or inviting someone in is OUT OF LIMITS. The other partner should obey the partner who is in charge of the house but that doesn't mean that the (in charge)has the right to decide whether she lives like a slave or a servant or an animal or even a human? A very horrifying aspect is also the wife not having the right to reject intimacy. Because even though the husband is the only man who can touch her- does not mean that she CAN'T tell him whether she wants it that time or not. Cuz it is her body! She should NOT have to be sinful for rejecting it if she is uncomfortable at that time or not wanting it- It is more like HALAL RAPE cuz a wife is NOT a property who is now named to that man and he can do whatever and whenever he wants. It LOOKS like she should not allow any other man to touch her NOT because she doesn't want it but because she has to save her body for her husband and after marrying it is his husband's. If this isn't objectification than I don't know what it is👏👏

[@shannonb1195]

My husband is like this. I sent him this video and he said, "Don't send me something like this again. I know my rights." He didn't even bother to watch it. I told him I'm moving out. He says good. Don't tell me Allah will send me better. No more husbands for me. Never again.

[@injilanusrat4299]

Hey Ya girl i just hope everything will work out well for you. Stay strong🙂🙂

[@wabdo13]

Wow what a piece of shit loser good u left his punk ass

[@rayn1384]

This needs to have a second part. What does Islam say about unjust treatment of a woman by her mother in law? That is a huge issue every where and I have never seen brother Nouman give a talk about that.

[@Boubou2604]

in this case you can say ok I dont want see her you havent sit with here or talk with her if your husband is not protect you against her then he not fullfill his duty because the protection is also against his family if they harm you

[@kraznoxic]

thanks for including subtitles / closed captions. really appreciate it.

[@Amay101]

That husband sounds like a maniac. I hope he sees this, and I also hope he doesn't put two and two together and put a tighter leash on his poor wife. I feel so bad for her. May Allah give her the strength to stand up to him. Tears😢. This video made me appreciate my husband so much more, and I always thank him for being such a good example of what a beautiful Muslim husband should be. Alhumdulilah. May Allah bless br Nouman and everyone who's involved❤️

[@sashmufti1679]

JazakAllah. I have watched this video several times, and always thanked Allah for giving me an understanding partner in life. But today I find myself in the same situation as the woman in this video. I feel caged in more ways than one. may Allah grant me sabr to do what is needed. Aameen.

[@Sa-ck2mr]

Sash Mufti

[@boboiboy9115]

Alhamdulillah....so thankful that I come upon this....

[@daisydenisecastillo]

in my personal perspective, marriage is a scary thing. its a challenging work that requires patience and understanding. Many good points were explained and covered in this video. I think the thought of marriage is shaped by the relationship of one's parents too. may Allah swt grant us good spouses with loving hearts

[@syeddawood566]

Mashallah , keep up the good work brother Nouman and team . May Allah protect all of us and grant us Jannah .

[@smshamsulislam3691]

Please make more of this.... we need this series!Why did they stop making more of this?

[@yumna2318]

Nouman is right, he's in insecure and it's his problem, not Islam. When I was married, I lived with his mother and sisters and my parents were only a 10 minute drive away. Yet it was sacrilege if I ever mentioned my family or asked to go and see them. I called them in secret and visited them in secret all whilst having to spend every waking moment with his mother and sisters who spoke to me like I was trash. This issue is real and it exists. Please don't assume that it doesn't really happen anymore or that it only happens in lower socio economic households. My husband was a CA in the top 4 accounting firms and had the most controlling, angry and manipulative personality you can imagine. Please sisters, if you are looking for a spouse, check everything about him and his family.

[@sababajwa93]

Yumna I feel your pain sister... your husband is a liar I got divorced myself

[@yumna2318]

@@sababajwa93 Good for you. It's a hard step to take but it's better than a life of pain. If you're feeling any stress, trust me it will go away. Focus on you, keep praying and you'll be fine InshAllah

[@sababajwa93]

Yumna I got remarried sister to a good man I made dua I believe in dua Allah always is there

[@saira_6151]

It's important to know you Islamic rights and not just your duties. Otherwise marriage should not even be on the table if girls don't even know what for marital rights are(like the right to seperate housing) and how the husband can not forbid her from visiting or seeing her own family and parents. Living with inlaws is part of culture in the subcontinent, not Islam. Also if the problems are so real and common, which I know they are, then it would be a good idea to literally write conditions into your marriage contract BEFORE signing it like "he will never stop me from seeing my family, he wont make me live with inlaws, he will provide a seperate home"etc. If the husband doesn't agree, then that's a red flag and sign you shouldn't marry him. Also yet it's important to vet the guy and talj to him before you say yes to find out how be this and what his expectations are and if they match yours. Even after you get married, and things turn abusive and unhappy, put your foot down and say no, and tell him you are not afraid to use your Islamic rights, if he won't change his ways. You are not supposed to suffer, sacrifice your dignity and mental and/or physical health, and show indefinete sabr in the name of marriage. Divorce should not be stigmatised for women. It's up to women to change this.

[@zainabz730]

But what about the relationship (level of care) with her in laws and how to deal with their excessive meddling? I really love this series but this video focused on the relationship between husband and wife rather than wife and in laws, as the title suggests. I would greatly appreciate it if you could expound on this issue since countless people are dealing with it. Jazakallah

[@twocrazyboys4367]

Exactly all hindu culture ruined lives of many

[@Katniss_cosmos]

Well he said that ( i owe certain things to my mom but that doesn't give her the right to do certain things to my wife) that means NO MEDDLING is allowed unless it's concerned with DIVORCE both families should make up or end the marriage with a good note. The husband and wife have the right and should solve their problems on their own.

[@Totajee79]

Allhumdulillah. Thank you for sharing, clarifying and publicising.

[@MrBossmedia]

Salam Alaikum can you check out my channel for beneficial reminders

[@areebatariq3401]

jazakAllah khair for saying those words. I have been trying to explain it to people I guess since my birth but you put it all together in a right manner, it's like having right words for what you feel. No doubt about it, we are salves to no one but Allah! highly appreciated! :)

[@tella117]

I am a christian... But you have excellent vidieos .. Salam

[@nishahabib2008]

I encourage you to please read the Quran once. Please May Allah help you ameen Salam!! :)

[@215LadiiBella]

You only have to obey what's "halal".it's HARAM to cut family Ties. 😑

[@rq.7069]

@@kanizfatima1377 I know, right? Actually, I had a problem with this, and did research on it- and people are misusing so many parts of the religion, for things that are so obviously prohibited! For example, alongside many things, the husband (or anyone else for that matter) can't force the wife to use her money (money she's earned, or the mahr) yet the husband in an abusive marriage does it anyway, in the name of 'Islam' and guess what? The wife lets him! She thinks that's okay! To be honest though, I can't blame her, if no one thought to educate her about it- I mean, as long as she fulfilled her duty as a Muslim to question and learn, but she didn't have the means to do so, because of such things as poverty. Even then, are such men not fearful of that which they invent? It's pretty messed up, to be honest.

[@Boubou2604]

halal and within your rights for example she isnt to obey you if you say with my inlaws its halal but she can deny

[@zeezeebo]

You and your wife should not stay in the same house with your parents!

[@sirnoobs8098]

y?

[@mily87ful]

Lol

[@hazzajaafproductions2155]

.

[@arzoo9221]

???

[@tanyami8291]

Very true

[@FarwahAhmad]

This topic is much needed! Beautiful explanation..

[@khushboogoyal657]

This whole conversation sums up in just one line...give ur wife some space to be the way she wants to be.... Thts it

[@rabihuda1574]

Please educate on how a mothers statement can mess up his sons mind and create a fight between a husband n wife . And educate what is any person who plants this seed called and what will his/her position according to Islam .

[@saira_6151]

Well yes, the mother is to blame but the husband is more to blame for letting his relationships with his mother interfere with his relationship with his wife and for being a mummy's boy and so immature that he is so easily influenced by his mother. He should tell his mother to not talk of his wife and ignore what she says. Such a guy can never be a good Muslim man or a Muslim husband.

[@JJ-zd5kn]

Assalamualaikum. I went through this personally myself. Alhamdulillah I managed to get a divorced 12yrs ago. He not only manipulated me in ways I can’t imagine he would, he disgrace me in public, he said I am unfit mother and a horrible wife. I had to work. He was unemployed on and off. Adding on his mother told my mother I need to get another job cause I’m neglecting my responsibilities. He instilled that in my head until today. Told my kids that I am breaking the kids silaturrahim with their father and a lot more. Psychologically I am affected by it, emotionally and mentally until today. I’m afraid to have a partner in my life and what’s ringing in my head is him saying that all men just wanted to get under my skirt. Not enough with that he and his mum, probably out of spite I think for many years even before marriage I was told have been playing black magic on me. I’m never healthy and in fear all the time for no reason sometimes. I see things and many more. My curiosity wonders, he is living a happy life while I’m in not so good condition. He never paid my alimony nor the kids expenses during marriage and even till today. I bear them all myself. I Thank Allah for giving me the strength. But now I’m unemployed and i hear again in my head the words he used to utter. Brings me down so badly. Nevertheless, I pick myself up everyday and Hope history does not repeat itself to my only daughter I have and my 2 boys for his messed up guidance. He taught me all the wrong things in islam and he only picked up those from the Quran what benefited him as a man. Don’t bother hiring lawyers, I have lost a lot of money paying lawyers for defending myself and kids. Shariah is not on my side fr day 1. My prayers is for Allah to punish those who has hurt me and my kids. As for me , to give me back my strength to live again and not being marked by the society for things that was not my fault to begin with. Till today he still haunts me. He told the kids that he knows my every move etc. I wish he just focus on providing the kids as it is his obligation and stop brainwashing the kids minds about reconciling which I know was just part of his manipulation to the kids. After 12yrs the stigma and the horror episode that I went through flash-backed like it happened just yesterday. Scars remains. I have not forgiven him. I don’t know whether I could. Another question will be, will I be punished in the hereafter for not forgiving this man who has ill treated me so badly. What made it more sad , he was my choice when my parents said NO. 😔

[@nawee6801]

J J please take good care of yourself my dear. As much as you can show your gratitude towards Allah because you are now safe. The past hurts, yes but don't consider it a mistake, but a lesson. Stay strong beautiful lady. You have been given a second chance to reinvent your life and your kids life. Focus on what you can do today and if possible Forgive. Forgive yourself first, then forgive him. Remember forgiveness is never for the other person but for yourself. So that you can live peaceful, with a clean heart and a clear mind. This shall pass too Much love

[@JJ-zd5kn]

@@nawee6801 Appreciate the kind words. TQ

[@aryaa3998]

JZK so much for this, you've no idea, it clarified so many things for me!

[@sinank.4577]

100% professionally worked out

[@sairabano73]

Thank you brother Nouman for this

[@moeas2467]

JazakAllah alf khair my brother, may Allah shower you and your family with his blessing.

[@toobad9295]

thank you for clearing up the fact that the husbands are not supposed to be obeyed and are nit in charge of their wives how come no one ever says that of the scholars it’s so normalised to say things like “oh yeah wives have to obey their husbands or else you’re sinning” pretty sure there’s even a school in indonesia teaching women how to obey their husbands it’s so normalised when like you said it’s the opposite men and women are partners and are supposed to work as a team not be a dictatorship the wife isn’t supposed to command her husband nor is the husband supposed to command his wife YOU HAVE TO HELP EACH OTHER ADVISE EACH OTHER BETTER EACH OTHER like it’s so simple yet people make it such a big deal

[@selmaabdic8104]

Great concept of the video, it needs little improvements, like the other guy should say something too. I find your teachings very helpful,great work.

[@SpreadDawaProductions]

JazzakAllahu Khayr for the reminder!

[@TheKikalouka]

I wish there were more episodes of that's messed up 😭😭

[@rahaabdi1429]

Islam is the only religion that gives unlimited rights and raised the status of Muslim women... and no man has the right to violate it...To be honest I cannot call such people who abuse and violate the rights of women a Muslim... because I was taught that there's no Compromise in Islam...u are either a person who follows the religion to the latter...or u are Not... there's nothing in between...May Allah swt guide us to the right path... Ameen 🤲...

[@Shellarella74]

I pray for her, to have strength !❤

[@nidaislam8084]

This helps a lot. Thank you for your hard work.

[@TifaYuki]

mashalah I really love this series and it's concept. I enjoy everything about it: the background, noise, the setting May allah bless you all

[@MrBossmedia]

Salam Alaikum can you check out my chanel?

[@waheedabashir4898]

Mashallah ,Allah has blessed brother Norman with the ability to be coherent. However ,Sometimes simplicity is sufficient because you don’t loose that authenticity ,especially if their is substance in the message and no doubt there is in all brother Norman’s videos . I gravitate to brother Norman’s humbleness-what a beautiful trait to have, mashallah.

[@haniyabatool9914]

Great explanation

[@nightcrows787]

Extremely well said. Thank you for this video.

[@cookliet8444]

Tbh My mother always tell me why are you eating like this, why do you sit like this, if you talk do bluntly what would your in laws say in the future... These things really make me angry and anxious. Just because I’m a girl why do I need to change and sacrifice everything for someone else? I’m a human too.. Nobody will say anything to the boy. But already my family keep saying stuff to me as if I was just born to serve other people.. I feel burdened. I don’t have problems with marriage but I don’t wanna be someone else’s slave, I don’t wanna change myself just cause everyone else can be happy.. ( which they ever won’t) I feel sick thinking about all this.

[@sajnav5207]

I am in an emotional abusive marriage. I am really confused whether to keep trying to make it alright or just leave this one. I am afraid of leaving the relationship as i have 2 kids and really don’t know how to convince people what i am going through

[@nishahabib2008]

Salam! you need to involve third party in like your family or someone you can trust or maybe involve in Islamic scholar and seek his advice because this issue might get bigger and bigger as it is already so you really need to involve someone. May Allah not make things difficult for you InshaAllah may you and your children find ease and may your husband be guided to the straight path by the will of Allah

[@MasiKarimi]

Jazakallahu khairan katheeran!

[@cooldesertknight]

Jazak'Allah Khair, you and those who uploaded the video and all Muslims, insha'Allah.

[@aryaa3998]

Jzk for this, is there any way the background noise can be eliminated? It's a little distracting.

[@palebluedot285]

Ma sha Allah ....best explainations

[@rinaazis5939]

brilliantly packaged ! Jazakallah khair Ustadz Nouman

[@MrBossmedia]

Salam Alaikum can you check out my channel for beneficial reminders?

[@switjasmin70]

The scenario he quoted about the lady sounds liķe an abusive relationship. Many red flags. Hope that lady is ok now...coz it may get worse for her if she doesnt get help.

[@abdullahali5960]

I feel like so many relationships can be like this, in which in laws treat the daughter in law very horribly, especialy among Pakistanis there is so much arrogance and elitism regarding this issue.

[@abdullahali5960]

another example is fathers sides of the family including the husband backbiting about the wife consistently, and using religion to justify socially excluding, and doing other things that are not nice towards the wife and her family.

[@ceesah32]

Thank you for telling the truth.

[@azeemabdulkhalam6216]

Very good thing... Love this whole channel.. But I think there should have been an "INSHA ALLAH" at the end of the description

[@amaanthekhan]

Don't know how i missed this!..Am i that messed up? ha ha But i love the way he puts across these crucial things, raw and casual, within the fold of islam but still you can balance life accordingly. Alhamdulillah.

[@MissUnderstood17]

What about when it's the wife telling the husband not to fulfil his rights to his mum and younger unmarried sisters when the father is absent i.e. don't feed them, don't tell them when we (the wife and her husband) go to visit your family... i.e don't tell your mum we went around her other sons house and saw her grandchildren...when they live a little far out and know my mum can't drive. And stops him giving mum the small monthly amount he would give her. No one talks about the husbands wife breaking a family.

[@saira_6151]

The problem lies with the husband. He should do justice to his relationships and stop each side from interfering in the others matters. So his wife can not stop him from seeing his orenta, siblings or financially supporting them. As long as he maintains his wife and kids and their needs too. He should stop being afraid of his wife and sit her down and explain this and tell her to stop meddling. Last resort is divorce.

[@annosman-saad7610]

sounds more like control......he made wonderful points here.... my husband and i have a relationship just like we are equal thanks Allah!!!!! we both trust each other and our God ........you cant stop people from free will if you have trust what is there to fear expect Allah

[@kjnazari4734]

sometimes you have to quote a Hadith or a Ayah at eachother to remind eachother, because there is so many distractions in our lives now, that we forget what the Quran says.

[@Demand4Peace]

I love this series. Jazakum Allah khair!

[@sarahkhan6102]

How can i get in touch with you? I need help please

[@mohammed-by7sf]

May I extend a question!! What would a husband need to do when his most loveable wife whom he respects a lot, keeps going to her parents house every often, and who doesn’t prefers much going along with him to his house, and to add along when the husband doesn’t likes the attitude of his in laws and feels insecure about his kids raising their in their house and wants to protect his children from their practices, and also feels that his wife doesn’t gives him the priority, like not bothered about him at her absence, what should the husband do??? Despite being open to her regarding his feelings and yet and yet again she repeats the same, what should the husband do?? Should he marry another girl??? Or should he stop expecting from her??? Or should he just ignore her?? Or accept her behaviour which in turn disturbs his internal environment??? What should a husband do???

[@robotnitchka]

My friend, if your in-laws are truly a bad influence on your children, then you must make yourself more entertaining and trustworthy to your kids than their maternal grandparents are. You must ask an expert in childcare about that. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your kids are more important and should be more important to you than your own self. So you must prioritise them over your own feelings. I promise that if you are able to raise your children in a way that pleases you (with righteousness), your whole life-outlook will improve in every way possible. I also recommend that you see a marriage counselor or someone similar to get some kind of mutual understanding in your relationship with your wife. You must prioritise this as well, because if your wife does not respect you, then neither will your children. Remember - respect is more important and valuable than love, so gain their respect first, and the love will follow. Good luck

[@balqishDESIGN]

to use hadith and quran to impulse your will on somebody else - downright evil. that's totally messed up. so true!

[@Sona.LS.]

Concise and effective as always mashaAllah.. but the music at the end has me questioning credibility a bit.. is it not unanimously agreed on that music leads to hypocrisy? Whats the explanation on it being allowed in this video? Has NAK approved?

[@tishbish2505]

She came in and ruined happy married. The husband is exactly does what his mother does to him! He brings more for his mother and spend time with her. When problem comes up, they team up and wife is alone. Wife married him when he had nothing (legality, job, place). Now his mom came up and ruined everything. Yes, everything. Control freaks. Why would a women get married or why he married if he's in love with his mother!!

[@sababajwa93]

Tish Bish I completely agree sometimes they’re in love with their sisters too. Mother is better than sister trust me I got the sister problem.

[@saira_6151]

Why do such wives keep staying with such husbands when they can see, he is clearly not behaving according to Islam, doesn't fear Allah, and can not do justice to his reltionships with his wife and his mother?

[@tishbish2505]

@@saira_6151 It ended. Happier than ever!

[@Laghmani786]

Wonderful content and I loved the atmosphere and manner the question was presented. Jazakallah Khair!

[@asimsha4276]

very nice speech

[@mohammadiqbaldawah]

Amazing. Great video. JazakAllah Khair.

[@KatherineMathiowetz]

I could NEVER let anyone have that much control over me. My husband and I respect each other equally. I do ask if it is okay to buy something here and there as you know, I don't want to get something that is not needed or to make sure there is enough money. If he says no then I don't do it. I do not like being told I belong to my husband either. I will snap at that person in a heartbeat. But, I always say I belong to him and he belongs to me... Muslim men have a bad reputation for how they treat their women, and all the "honor" killing and all, beating their wives. this is what the media wants people to believe. I don't see that here in the states though. I don't know about over across the sea though. I heard it is bad there. I love hearing this man talk. Him and Bobby's prospective/ All wonderful information on Islam

[@AksamZarook]

Thank you.

[@hln1517]

Great series

[@Bism_illaah]

I absolutely love this!!! mashaAllaaah genius, may Allaah grant you to contribute in more ways!

[@frankperconte7160]

Worst pandemic ever and none of my inlaws contracted covid-19 virus. It’s been 8 months ffs. I must be the luckiest guy alive

[@khademulislam1897]

very nice video....Two Thumbs Up.

[@tanbirtlp]

Mash Allah !! keep going on !!

[@WakeUpUmmahchannel]

+Tanbir Touhid To Get Amazing Stories and Reminders Please, Subscribe to our channel

[@RyomaSakamoto79]

The example given is an extreme example of a husband keeping her wife on lockdown. Very extreme and we would agree this isn't acceptable. But what if a woman fails to fulfil her obligations to her husband, but insists on fulfilling her obligations to her parents? In other words when there is a clash in conflict of interest? Who takes priority?

[@naaziyasulthana7796]

I never knew I'll put up my problem like this one day. But I'm really worried, someone please help me out!! So the thing is,my sister recently got married and problems started from the beginning itself. They were not satisfied with our preparations and we apologised in the beginning. But their taunts never stopped and we were really mistreated on the day of marriage and my mother has been upset since then.She isn't wrong in being upset as she's been working all alone throughout and the boy's side were not even putting efforts to understand. Some mistakes happened both sided but the boy's side were really taunting She's been venting out since and I let her be as I thought it'll all come down soon. But her hurt turned to anger and now I find her really blinded by it. I feel she wants to fight it out with them. And amidst all this,I feel my sister is getting hurt the most. She's newly wedded bride and all she could do is cry cry and cry. My mother isn't backing down, at least for my sister. One thing leads to another and all and I'm really worried how long it's going to go. Now my sister and husband are at home and again due to some miscommunication she's angry and she says she won't let my sister go to her home. I am really young and don't understand much,but I feel things are going out of hand,and I can't get to talk properly to my mother,she doesn't let anyone tell her anything. She doesn't like admitting her wrong. There is a really valid reason why my mother is hurt,but I can't seem to approve of what she's doing. I feel she should look at my sister and let go her anger this once. How should I tell her this? She really wouldn't listen. What's the right thing to do? I don't want my sister's Marriage to be sad one. It hasn't even been a month since the marriage. Guide me please

[@MichaelMaitri]

One thing I would like to point out is ~ Allah wants us to love and care for one another ~ It's our ego that wants to have power and control over others ~ One thing we need to decide is ~ Who do we serve ~ Our own ego or Allah ! ~ Personally I am not a slave of Allah ~ Allah gives me freedom of choice ! ~ I can choose to be good or bad ~ Slaves do not get a choice ~ When I choose to be good ~ I become an extension of Allah's light in the world ~ When I choose to be bad ~ I live in the shadow of my own ignorance ~ When you choose to follow Allah ~ You choose to step out of the shadows and into the light ~

[@piqueny8872]

God help us all!!!!

[@muhaiminchowdhury]

Is there any way we can contribute to multi language subtitle

[@Sas-rf9sy]

Contact his team at Bayyinah or just look him upand you will find ways to reach out to him. I am sure they can benefit from your help. In fact more people should do that.

[@ohyeahohyeah8855]

Men cant control their wives. The thing is they have to trust their wives and that when they say they are going out to visit their family then you should trust them since you got married to her in the first place. But if the man says dont go out and it's a one off thing, the wife shouldnt start saying "this isnt fair" but if it's all the time it's clearly controlling