Women EXPOSE How COLORIST FATHERS Treat Their DARK SKIN CHILDREN

[@joybanks4974]

My father is dark, and my mother is light. My sister has dark skin. She expressed the colorism she experienced within our own family growing up. We need to listen, understand, and, in many cases, apologize.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

I completely agree especially about the apology part🤎

[@cecechampion4]

@@CoffeeCuties777 Apology can only go far. when it's a deep rooted cycle. Just as Black men are colorist which is the reason a lot of dark skin Black men prefer lighter skin women. However, Black women project that same mentality on their daughters as well, and many of these men are raised by single Black mothers. I've seen Black women talk down on dark skin women or refer to themselves as "ugly" when they don't fit into a certain look. I've seen them show preferential treatment towards lighter skin girls, and encourage their sons not to bring home a ugly nappyheaded girl sometimes referring to a dark skin girl with more pronounced Black phenotypes.

[@Shelby-s2w]

My father is dark and mother is light. Same for all of my grandparents, except one. In this case. my great grandmother was dark but my great grandfather was light. Growing up i always just took this as opposites attract. Im also light skinned but was always more attracted to dark skinned men but for some reason its not considered colorism when the preference is dark skin 🤔

[@enyonamagbemadzo8684]

@@Shelby-s2where come the ignant redbones lol. The literal definition of colorism is discrimination against dark skinned individuals not light light skinned. Ever heard of ⚪️ supremacy? Go open a book 4 once.

[@commentpoliceofficer7991]

@@Shelby-s2w It’s not about the preference. It’s about the hate that dark skinned people receive for being dark like it’s a bad thing.

[@angelac2228]

I have a dark skin father and a light skin mother. My brother is dark skin but darker than my father, and my sister is light skin but not as light as my mother. Then there is me the brown skin child . My parents didn't do any of that colorism nonsense, and my mother made sure I had a healthy self-esteem and my dad told me how pretty I was growing up.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

That’s awesome🤎🤎🤎

[@brandihebert5617]

Are you me?! Seriously, this is my story exactly

[@Hotcinnamon111]

Mine tooo. Not all black fathers are colorist

[@yasmeen7875]

My mother is light, my dad is very dark. I came out lighter like my mother. My dad has never really ever acknowledged my skin color. It was just never a topic or even mentioned. My dad wanted a son and since I was the only child he treated me like a son. I can change my own oil filter, tune ups, and fix my own breaks. No color issue though.

[@angelac2228]

@yasmeen7875 Ha ha ha, you father was determined to live out his dreams of having a son 😂

[@pink-tulip317]

It's even wilder when both bio parents are LS and the daughter comes out DS...I'm living proof of that. My Dad assumed that I was going to be LS, and fooled him lol. My younger sister did turn out to be LS, so ended up being, and still is his pick. It just goes to show the ignorance of many Black people when it comes to genetics and complexion.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Oh wow 😮 I didn’t think of that but that’s so true and I’m sorry you had to go through that😔

[@pink-tulip317]

@CoffeeCuties777 Thank you 🥰 I think what also grinds his gears, is that I look just like him, just a chocolate version. My sister looks more like my mom.

[@EtherealSolana]

People fell asleep in bio class

[@madmann1000]

My parents are both dark skin, but my brother is light skin and I’m dark skin.

[@Mimi24177]

So that goes to show you light skin men can be colorists too. It grinds his gears that you come out dark and look like him, too? Like he doesn't want to accept what God made.

[@genicee86]

Erika invalidated her daughter's feelings, period. She didn't want to see it the way it is, she wanted to keep seeing it the way she made up in her head. The daughter was speaking facts and giving her clear examples. She missed the mark. 🙄

[@tianabrown3074]

As a dark skinned woman i thank God that both of my parents were dark and that i didn't grow up with these types of self-esteem issues. 😌

[@Hotcinnamon111]

The dark skinned men in your community do.

[@justme2272]

My parents aren't light buh brown,I'm brown. Colorist bp are nasty spirits who will be judged by TMHG. Mad at our Creator is willlldd.

[@latebloomer177]

Same! And my mother made sure she instilled me with love for my complexion. Her nickname for me as a child was glamour girl. I had an older cousin who I looked exactly alike and looked up to ( she was so beautiful to me) and she always did my hair for me. Of course I experienced colourism but my backing was too strong to not overcome it.

[@crazycatlady312]

Same. Our home was also full of african/african american artwork ❤

[@Sunny-cf8yg]

Same I always knew I was special & I loved my black skin🤎 No one’s dusty son/daughter could ever make me feel otherwise! 🙂‍↔️

[@keniasharpe1610]

It ain’t nothing like a chocolate baby girl r boy ❤🥰🥰

[@CoffeeCuties777]

🤎🤎🤎🤎

[@cecechampion4]

Everybody says that until they have one, and then you will see the low self issues or inferiority complex subconsciously manifest out. It's a crazy cycle.

[@justme2272]

That's cringe....do you call lighskins vanillas?🤔

[@justme2272]

​@@cecechampion4me and my children have high self esteem...sick bp h8t that part 😂mad at pretty dsbw is willllld. Buh obviously ppl b pressed at our beauty 🥰

[@sheritownsend5359]

My father (dark skin) told my mother, when she was pregnant that he didn't want a child who looked like that, pointing to a dark skin, nappy headed child. My mother, (light skin), said she didn't either. The difference was, my mother was looking at the overall appearance of the child, who looked dirty and poor. My father was talking about skin tone. My mother told me I came out looking like my father - dark!! They divorced (for other reasons). My mother also told me that she always wanted a dark skin child. What she said was my foundation. I was set for life because my mother WANTED a dark skin child. I was proud of who I was. It starts in the home and it starts early. The problem is, a lot of light skin women KNOW that they are being chosen due to the color of their skin. They allow these colorist men into their lives and have to grapple with it when their daughter turns out to be dark. 'What goes around comes around.'

[@EtherealSolana]

Literally this reminds me of the movie Wicked 😢

[@forwomenorg]

Wow. My daughters father said the same when I was pregnant. He said he hoped she didn’t come out dark like him. Black men realize that colorism does exist but they choose to be ignorant on it and not fight against it. Instead they compromise by being with lighter skinned women to flush out their color. It’s very sad

[@CyberPunk-de7ri]

@@forwomenorg they left their brains on the plantation.

[@naomid3702]

That's sad, i'm so sorry. I have a friend who has similar wants to your mother. She's light skin but wants dark skin babies. So she dates dark skin men pretty much exclusively. I told her she needs to be careful with that because dark skin men tend to seek out light women with bad intentions, and while she wants a baby that has his complexion, he'll want a baby that has hers. The difference is, ultimately she'll love the baby regardless of it's complexion, he may not. I told her to try to look out for signs that he may be colorist because that's not a situation you want to bring children in, especially a daughter.

[@Howwwaboutthat]

That's exactly how my dad is. He got with mom who is lightskin and i came out his color. My mom's side vocalized that they wished I came out like my mom's color, and my dad has treated me differently than my mixed race siblings! She's speaking facts!

[@fin4008]

Im so sorry you had to experience such vile behavior

[@TOMFOOLERY334]

My dad is a darksin black man and he is colorist. Be a darskin black woman in front of him and he'll have a lot of nasty shit to say. He also compared me and my siblings skin tone one time.....weird.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

I’m so sorry you had to go through this😔🤎

[@msch3891]

​@@TOMFOOLERY334Wow. He needs to be checked. So many dsbm are like that. They always have to say something colorist and hateful when around dsbw. They really hate their own darkskin.

[@kameralkutie5594]

If you don’t mind me asking did your mother speak up for you?

[@desireehodge32]

I think that’s why me and my dad bumped heads. I get told all the time I remind them of my grandma my dad’s mother. My mom was a lil lighter so he thought maybe I would be my mom’s complexion but I came out like his moms I guess. But when my sister was born she was light skinned and my dad took to her more. He was more concern with my sister. My dad even told me no one will want me. And he told me he loved my sister more than me. It was heart breaking. So yes I believe this. It really hurts. My dad is gone and I’m 45 years old and I still feel the pain of his actions and words.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Omg wow smh 🤦🏾‍♀️ I’m so sorry you had to experience that wow smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@tnttnt9150]

I'm sorry that happened to you

[@stargazer2.3]

Please know that you are beautiful and worth loving.

[@swiitdoll]

Sending you hugs 🤗

[@sakuraesther6309]

I have friends who are four sisters .They are all dark skin to brown skin like their parents. Their dad loves them so much and they are the most beautiful sisters I have ever met . Like all four of them so so so beautiful. Some fathers are insane 😢

[@M-atk]

This is why I will never have a blended family. All my kids must have the same mix- biracial or black. My dad had a blended family. It was a mess, and I was the only black girl, so his Mexican wife (who was jealous of my mom) constantly singled me out with microaggressions.

[@jasminscarbrough2596]

Omg I thought I was the only one in that situation where you’re the only full black person. When my dad was with his first wife I was the only full black child and was treated differently as well… blended families can work though. You just have to have the right group of people

[@EtherealSolana]

The only “problem” with having a mixed family is people’s horrible mentalities. Same if you have an all blk family and everyone is colorist and hateful. Everything works in patterns. If your partner is loving it will be fine

[@T.H-v4h]

My white step mom use to ask why do black girls wear weave yall should love yall self. Look at me im ugly and i still pull black men. Then when i tried to explain to her colorism and all that one after multiple times she said i know all this I just don’t care.

[@EtherealSolana]

@@T.H-v4h🚨‼️ I always had the feeling that “they” know and love that societal benefits they get, they “just don’t care”!!!

[@yasmeen7875]

My cousin married a wyt woman. They had a ls daughter and a ds daughter. They were both biracial. The darker daughter caught heII.

[@NamasteInYourLane]

I was JUST thinking about this topic yesterday. It is very common to see light skinned women with dark skinned men. I rarely see light skinned women with light skinned men and dark skinned men will date and impregnate dark skinned women but marry light skinned women. I honestly believe LSBW prefer DSBM because those men put the on a pedestal. However, often times these women end up in miserable relationships and marriages with these men.

[@fin4008]

Yup

[@oopsmh3908]

Vice versa with darkskin women dating lightskin men…Bottom line is we just be having kids with whoever without knowing their mindset… it’s the lack of knowing your partner that’s the issue…. That’s like having a kid with someone & yall both wanna raise your children differently from one another but yet have kids….now it’s all smoke n flames…..we gotta start learning who we laying up with….

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Great points🤎🤎🤎

[@EtherealSolana]

My mom being one of them… the relationship is definitely rocky most of the time

[@veebee9942]

@@oopsmh3908 the difference is I don’t hear a lot of light skin men bashing light skin women a lot of the times they just have appreciation for dark skin!❤️

[@theorderofthebees7308]

Colorist is a deal breaker for me,

[@kathleenking47]

Whites can have colorist tendencies. They'd want a blonde girl, over a brunette or redhead

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Same🤎

[@Cherrybby-1]

The daughter brought up examples in her family, mom had to look outside of the family for examples. That was deep.

[@TransmutedLiving]

You peeped that?

[@SiddityPrincess]

That’s because Erica isn’t self aware enough to look outside herself to critically think about her daughter experience. She is ignoring her daughter’s experience from her daughter’s pov and because she’s uncomfortable she’s deflecting and the “why would she say that” confirms

[@Mimi-ht6xr]

@@SiddityPrincess…y’all trying to blame Erica for her daughter’s low self esteem. Have you forgot what Erica’s parents and sisters and cousins look like? Erica did the best she could. She’s a mother. She loves her child. What can she do about her skin color? What role does the darkskin husband play? Why isn’t he talking to his daughter? Where’s the darkskin grandmother and cousins? Why aren’t they talking to this girl? 😮😮

[@AP-yd1nt]

Yes I was once on a date and the guy just came out and said he would only marry a lightskinned woman because a lightskinned daughter would be so cute. I ghosted him. I have many stories like this

[@bobbie31]

And it's always DAUGHTER. They are obsessed with mixed GIRLS. Moreso than boys. Has anyone noticed that?

[@lillybilly9954]

Featurism needs to enter the conversation. Because some of these couples don’t care about the skin tones, what they don’t want is the father’s phenotype

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Great point…I’m going to go live about this topic and discuss featurism as well🤎🤎🤎

[@sheritownsend5359]

This reminds me of why so many people were disappointed when they saw Blue Ivy with JayZ's features.

[@fin4008]

They dont want you to have the dads features either. Ppl wanted Blu Ivy to come out looking mixed they dont have a problem w her skin color tho..

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Great point🤎

[@Buttergirla]

Thats funny cuz I think she does look mixed

[@AyesheAlwaysLovely]

Damn 😢 Unfortunately… I believe you’re right.

[@elallen4399]

U know what is crazy I think Blu is gonna be so pretty wen she is older she already looks alot like her mom she is very tall and skinny she could model once she gets more comfortable in her skin

[@djlivvy46]

The irony was that Blu looked exactly like Beyonce when she was a little girl.

[@tmoneymama9480]

My babygirl is chocolate like her father. We both make a point to build her confidence as much as possible. It breaks my heart knowing what she will face from her own people.

[@justme2272]

Just tell her she's beautiful authentically...others will b jealous of her too. There's alot if lsbw bullies so, teach her self love.

[@kathleenking47]

​@@justme2272 Especially dad should say it

[@SagittariusSweet704]

Experienced this all of my life until I went no contact. The preferential treatment my mixed sisters received was egregious, and when I finally gained the courage to talk about my feelings, experiences and observations, I was met with a disproportionate level of rage (narcissistic behavior), gaslighted, invalidated and called insecure. Couldn’t do it anymore. Thank you for sharing these videos.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

I’m so sorry you had to go through this smh 🤦🏾‍♀️ 🤎🤎🤎

[@aprilsno43012]

Gilbert Arenas comes to mind when he made negative remarks about actress Lupita Nyong'o's dark skin. His daughters are dark skinned like him.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

I remember that smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@neeciiw7840]

Yess💯

[@malaysha1773]

and you know what… I feel like he came back years later to apologize because he saw his daughters’coming of age and HE KNEW that same lenses he saw lupita through are the same ones being used on them now.

[@Eritreanlěêleti]

That’s why he came for her, he was projecting his resentment for how his future daughters would look

[@ObedientPurity]

Lupita Nyong'o is a graceful woman with culture. White America loves her. Absolutely no one even knows about Gilbert Arenas ex wife.

[@WEDABESTReal]

This is facts, unfortunately. A lot of light skin women have dark-skin no kids due to the father. Those same women use to look down on dark women.

[@justme2272]

Ppl love coddlin lsbw....I don't play that bs.

[@taunyb5429]

That clip is very old. Erica's daughter is an adult now. It took place over more than 1 episode and clip. Erica did bring in ppl who shared her daughter's experience and was open to learning.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

That’s great! I never saw the follow up to the conversation but I’m aware the daughter is a beautiful woman now🤎🤎🤎

[@sheritownsend5359]

I wonder what the adult daughter has to say about it now.

[@AlanaLanaaMoore]

I wanted to see what her dad had to say too, It’s always the fathers that never speak on it

[@JoysDaughter]

This!

[@Listening4n0w]

He more than likely would've said her mother's lighter complexion had nothing to do with him choosing her. The same old tired response.

[@AlanaLanaaMoore]

@@Listening4n0w I’m already knowing lol.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

I wish I could find the dads response as well🤎🤎🤎

[@JustMe-dn9fh]

Father's or dark skin black men don't deal with colorist mess. That's why

[@Thatcaramelchic]

I think yes we need to make sure dark skin little girls see their beauty, but I also feel that it is so important for us to instill that beauty into dark skin boys because these little dark skin boys are the ones who are making little black girls question themselves. When little boys don’t think that theyre dark, skin is beautiful they project that on to little dark skin girls

[@babsybabsy2822]

I don’t agree with that because even the ugliest bm are put on a pedestal and I believe it’s done on purpose. Think Kodak black. Dude is ugly AF and his image was pushed as fine! Michael b Jordan is not fine to me. He looks like a basic man you would see anywhere but his image was pushed as handsome. Bw kinda started pushing back when Jonathon majors ugly azz was shoved down our throats and we said hells naw. But no. How many times have you heard Bw say that dsbm are ugly? Yea the boys need to be taught that they are the same as they ds siblings and to protect and uplift them. Be like other races and make sure they know that they can date who they want but you won’t except the it was just a coincidence every woman they date is non blk or light skinned. The boys have way more support on the attractiveness side from Bw. They head already blown up because they don’t see the media game and that they are being used to replace real bp

[@DollKennedy]

I am light skinned, 4c hair. My mom is dark, my dad is light. Why don’t dark skinned women date light skinned men or men who want them. Why do they wait for dark skinned men to pay attention to them?

[@PennyMsElite]

Dark skin men are their favorites.

[@EtherealSolana]

Maybe because they think lighter skinned men don’t want them. The colorism in the blk community is so bad so…

[@keyme52525]

Opposites attract 😂

[@AuraAroma-j3o]

Cause we actually want dark black children

[@Shelby-s2w]

​@AuraAroma-j3o but thats not colorist? Yall are too funny

[@theshineprjct]

My dad was and is definitely a colourist. He liked his women light skinned. My mother and stepmom are both light skinned. He would let all the other things slide because of how they looked. My dad would only think a dark skinned woman is beautiful with ‘fine’ features. I think he wanted to look ‘affluent’ or that he had ‘made it’ with his community. I also think he hated himself but didn’t know it was hate. Old generation mentality you know?

[@Tekirai]

I had a guy tell me he wanted to get with me because he saw/heard people confuse me with either Hispanic mixed or Indian (from India)…..the biggest exit stage left I pulled. But I’m grateful for my family because we’re all different shades but never put one on the pedestal over the other ❤

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Oh wow smh 🤦🏾‍♀️ idk why they done see that’s a turn off even if you fit their preference !

[@Tekirai]

@ it really is like to me it means you hate yourself and I’m not gonna be with someone who will have no issues putting down their own lifeline

[@16MoonShadow]

same pattern in my family too. light skinned mother. dark skinned father. same for grandparents. heck i have relatives that hide from the sun in the summer because "they dont want to be too dark." its insanity.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Oh wow 😮 the hiding from the sun is very unfortunate 😔

[@EtherealSolana]

That’s crazy bc our skin makes it harder to get vitamin d in. And living in the western world (particularly above the equator) makes it harder to get the levels we need. Doctors tell us to supplement it after we get blood work done

[@jasminscarbrough2596]

5:51 This is me talking to my light skinned mom. She definitely did not and still does not understand what I’m talking about. But she definitely did her best to try and make me feel beautiful. I just don’t think she was mentally equipped to do so. My dad on the other hand claims dark skinned women are his preference but always says colorist things to this day. He did marry a beautiful dark skinned Jamaican woman though .

[@undomesticatedjawn]

My dad is a light bright and I think only like dark skin women to prove something. He acts like he loves his blackness but then say stuff like I love Puerto Ricans. Had to remind him that a true PR is dark skin. Like the majority of Latinos. His grandmother was white. Smh

[@commentpoliceofficer7991]

A lot of times these dark skinned men with light skinned wives/baby mothers are colorist who was just attracted to the light skinned women, but then they forget that their children can possibly come out being dark skinned too

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Yep smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Headnotthetail2]

lol that’s my life!!!! It has crushed my self esteem. I look just like my dad and he thinks he’s ugly

[@Thelovebug030]

Dad was light skin and my mom was brown skin. I am dark skin and my sister is brown to light skin. My mom never made me feel differently about my skin tone.

[@JesziAnii]

I have a colorist brother but my father embraced my skin & had black babies on purpose, my mom was more colorist than my dad 🤷🏾‍♀️💯‼️

[@Buttergirla]

My brother is hell of colorist. We all look at him like he's stupid because nobody else cares about him. We don't even take him seriously

[@SiddityPrincess]

Yup my brother too after dating ww for years and putting other non blacks on a pedestal he implied he could just go back and date black women waymin, 🛑 ✋🏾 I had to quickly let him know, sir you’re no longer qualified to date bw stay with Becky. That ninja nearly crashed out. My father never corrected the behavior.

[@dblr4931]

My mother's son is colorist too. I don't speak to him anymore because he was constantly talking down on my son's dark skin.

[@SagittariusSweet704]

@@SiddityPrincessyou make an excellent point about how they don’t change bad behaviors if the father never corrects them. My father was very colorist, not just romantically worth my LS mom, but also in terms of his bias and negative opinions of darker black women. The usual dog whistles, labeling us “angry”, using “black” as an insult about a woman’s looks, etc while giving better treatment to my mixed sisters. To your point, my brothers adopted the same mindset and rhetoric, always placing any woman that’s lighter, brighter or whiter on a pedestal, protecting them, not expecting any labor from them, posting photos with them on social media, etc

[@shebababytalks]

It’s a very deep and complex conversation that needs to be had because you also have the reverse situation. Where the lighter complected person purposely seeks out a DS person to “darken up” their bloodline. Think of Malcom X mom who he said tried to find “the darkest Bm she could find” so her kids would have color. My mom had that mentality because she was the lightest of her siblings and was teased a lot as a kid for being LS. She said she wanted her children to be darker and she found DS prettier. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@CoffeeCuties777]

That’s very true…I may need to do a follow up about this perspective 🤎

[@shebababytalks]

@ ooh, yes I would definitely be tuned in for that girlaa!

[@jasminscarbrough2596]

My aunt was like this… my cousin ( who I call my brother) still came out light skinned 🤷🏽‍♀️. But she’s the only woman I’ve known who has done this.

[@shebababytalks]

@@jasminscarbrough2596 yep, I don’t think it’s as common as the reverse but it definitely happens. I even had a latina friend who was very pale and she purposely dated dark skinned Latino males cause she wanted to ensure her kids had color. 😂😂 I think some people are so used to seeing the opposite they forget how many people actually *want* brown/darker skin.

[@cmw1336]

I didn't end up having kids but this is exactly how I thought when I was younger. The last thing I wanted was to have kids that were "high yellow" like me. Brown skin was definitely my beauty standard.

[@PurdyNapps]

Erica could have said that she married her husband with hopes of having beautiful chocolate babies. Hopefully she has had additional conversations with her daughter acknowledging her feelings. We can’t blame it all on the men. IMO: there are some light skinned women who are unrealistic about the possibility of having dark skinned children when choosing a dark skinned man. Then there’s also the issue of textureism and unrealistic expectations of hair. Ijs.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

I like that response and I agree it definitely can go both ways🤎🤎🤎

[@sherienichol1580]

My family always treated the Darker Skin Women and girls differently! We took the most verbal and physical abuse too. I have cut all ties and have no family for over 20 years due to Colorism . SMH 🤦🏾‍♀️ I had to leave my family behind in order to gain high self esteem and figure out they were ignorant and I am beautiful.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

I’m so sorry you had to experience that and same here as far as cutting off toxic family …in my case it was my dad🤎

[@fin4008]

I tried to speak to my family about colorism and got shut down when i was younger too. Even brown skins who sometimes get called light skin (like Erica) have a knee-jerk reaction to dilute conversations about colorism. Many will even use it as an opportunity to talk about themselves and their own grievances with being confused as mixed ppl(meagan BGC). Its all so tired..

[@CoffeeCuties777]

That’s unfortunate smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@EtherealSolana]

Literally my mom did the same thing. “We were all black back were I come from”. That doesn’t change anything. Same hierarchy

[@AnastasiaBeaverhousn]

Erica is NOT brown skin

[@Tisha991]

My father was light skin and my mom is dark skin. I came out looking like my father. My older brother is dark skin. Thankful my parents taught us early to love our blackness.

[@kathleenking47]

Sometimes it's the features over skin tone

[@PoppiLife79]

Damn. This one hits home. My dad pretty much ignored his dark skinned children while elevating and showing off his light skinned children. And then people asked me why I’d didn’t visit him in his old age( he died 10 years ago).🤷🏾‍♀️

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Oh wow …I’m sorry you had to go through that…I question if I will visit my dad in his last days. As of today the answer is no 🤎🤎🤎

[@SagittariusSweet704]

Same here, every word. Question- Did he ever apologize to you or openly admit it (if you tried to address it)? Asking because, when I finally did speak up about how much the difference in treatment hurt/impacted my self esteem, I was gaslighted to hell and back. It was a very painful experience and made me feel crazy or insecure for so many years until I met others who’d experienced the same.

[@lashwithlex]

I’m a light-brown skin woman. My mom is mixed and my dad and I are roughly the same color but he’s a bit more red. I’m from the north so I didn’t really see much colorism/racism. When I moved to the south I was praised for my features and hair and I thought it was weird. I literally see the most beautiful dark skin women around me and I’m just so mesmerized by them. The way the sun hits dark skin is just so magical. Anyways, it’s so sad to me that colorism runs so deeply. I can’t act like I don’t know what’s going on around me. I know I benefit from colorism, featurism, and texturism. So, I always make sure I tell my dark skin sisters that they are beautiful to me. Not only do I genuinely believe dark skin women are the most beautiful amongst the shades, I also know you all need to hear it ❤️. Keep your head up ladies !!!!

[@CoffeeCuties777]

🤎🤎🤎🤎

[@Topself24]

Everyone thought my son was going to be dark because the father is dark and the father had dark skin children from another (non black) woman. The baby came out light and looks exactly like me. Then they said oh no he will get darker just wait. Years later he’s still light skin and I wonder if he gets treated differently on his dad’s side of the family. Why were they (even his other kids) so bent on my child being dark?

[@CoffeeCuties777]

That’s a great question🤎

[@sakuraesther6309]

Because dark skin on men is seen as masculinity. Remember all those videos of light skin men and how sassy they are??? You need to be vigilant because his masculinity will be teased cause he is light skin 😢

[@msch3891]

It's a sickness with complexion! Oh, the anticipation of waiting til they get older and darker is also sickening. They were waiting for him to be dark and to treat him badly especiallyif they hate you. Darkskin is not a curse and not a reason to just treat people terrible. This keeps going.

[@veebee9942]

Idk if this is backhanded or not but if he was dark nothing would’ve been wrong with him. Glad that he’s the color you would like.🤷🏾‍♀️

[@EtherealSolana]

They want their sons to be dark like them and their daughters to be light like you. Clock it

[@tayriobravo6204]

Okay I have two half white siblings from my dad’s first marriage. I’m from his second and me and my brother are full blk. We would call my dad pretending to be the biracial kid calling just so he would pick up the phone.. this is just the tip of the iceberg. I haven’t spoken to him in 20 plus years. My mom always told us how beautiful blk is in every shade .

[@CoffeeCuties777]

I’m so sorry you had to go through this and I completely understand unfortunately 😔🤎

[@Bewise-gq4ru]

Reminds me of that video with all the dsbm saying cheers to our light skin daughters 👀. And Nipsey hussles funeral a man stood up in front of at least 100 people and said we need to protect our light skinned or mixed daughters 😒.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Yeah I remember that smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@KatieNicolexx]

My mother is an LS who purposely dated DS men because she wanted a DS baby. She praised my skin tone, my entire life especially in the summer!

[@CoffeeCuties777]

That’s awesome 🤎🤎🤎

[@victoriousspirit8955]

I understand Erica Cambell’s daughter because I have the same experience. My mom never understood me nor heard me either. My whole family is colorist. I am dark skinned and my mom is light skin.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

I’m sorry you had to experience that…what are some things you did to learn to love your darker skin tone 🤎

[@halosane4170]

My darkskin dad left my brother and I to have 2 light skin children that he later abandoned. It still hurt though for the short time I did see him be a father to these children while trying to figure out what was wrong with us. My mom would constantly tell me that she always decided to have children with a white man so I would've been lightskin. It isn't the same situation as yours, but I felt neither of my parents were very happy with how I looked

[@CoffeeCuties777]

I’m so sorry you had to go through this and I completely understand even though I’m brown and my brother is light his biracial children were born after us and he was more involved with them as well but still a dead beat to all…no one got the father we deserved unfortunately 🤎

[@SoranovaArt]

I did get this same reaction since my mom is light and what i remember of my dad he was a tall dark skin man. Everytime people saw me than met my mother there was always the “ what that’s your mom?!” i’m like…. dame i didn’t come out with hazel eyes and light skin i came out with brown eyes and brown skin… so even when i worked me my mom at her job….first thing people was like was “ wow your her daughter oh your brown skin” 😂I shit you not the look on my face i forgot to check it made her correct herself. And my grandmother once told me that a random man on the bus looked at her and said “I can tell those two have different dads than the 3 lighter kids (my mother and her one brother and sister was lighter than the first two) …. no they all had the same father all 5. My family just happens to have both light, brown and darker kids at random even if the daddy is the same.

[@lemiraburnette6659]

My husband is dark skin and I am very light. I didn’t get with him thinking about what our children would look like. Am I attracted to darker men? Yes, but it’s not a preference. If my husband was light and still the same awesome person, he would still be my husband. I didn’t give two s***s about the appearance of our children. They are both darker than me, about a shade lighter than my husband. Never addressed their color and they never brought it up to me. My son dates black girls and my daughter’s boyfriend is white. It’s just not an issue for us. Now because I’m very aware of the colorism having seen it play out amongst my darker friends and with me as a light woman, I made it a point to not make skin color a big deal. And I also made sure to shut down any sort of colorist actions towards me or them from strangers and extended family. My husband didn’t choose me because I am light (I asked him point blank). This is indeed a deep topic and we have so much healing to do.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and it’s awesome your children were not affected by colorism and I agree it’s a lot of healing that needs to take place🤎

[@AnastasiaBeaverhousn]

You asked him!! 🙄 Yeah and he told you the truth! I don't know either of you but I can bet my JOB he's with you because of your hue!!! 🤫

[@4cberry]

Colorism is really everywhere...i saw it growing up in Cameroon..we just didn't have a name for it and we didn't think it was that nefarious to openly covet light-skinned people..we call them "yellow sissy" or "metisse" for the biracials...derived from French. We think they are the beautiful ones in the room even when they are just average looking😂 we covet their hair, their skin color. Now i know it is because of an ingrained belief that white and anything in proximity to it is better😂😂. But even though some people gravitate towards the fairer complexion, i think black is still put on a pedestal especially when it comes with the necessary aesthetics like slimness, facial beauty, etc. I think colorism would be an even bigger issue were it not for the majority black population. Because covet light skin all you want, but there's still not that many of them around😂😂😂at least the natural light skin ones. Gosh, a person with a fair complexion is even described as "clean"😂😂😂. When i first went natural back in Cameroon, my hairstylist was so frustrated with my in her words "tough" 4c hair..she asked me to do something, anything to make it look like the African American women's hair. Now i know she meant the biracial women😢. At the time, i was just confused. 😂 i could write a whole essay about this issue, sorry😂

[@riquittamoore4874]

😮the stylist horrible. I am sis for your experience

[@LoXena]

Le colorisme est si fort en Afrique que les gens s'éclaircissent pour correspondre aux critères.

[@4cberry]

@@LoXena exactement! C'est triste

[@somtoobiorah206]

As a fellow African heavy on the light skinned = clean trope. And as a dark skinned person before ppl describe u as clean you have to have a skin with no single blemish

[@feyi4103]

This is why it doesn’t sit right with me when a black man puts so much emphasis on light skin preferences. What happens when you give birth to a dark skin baby girl? How is she supposed to feel?

[@kaaygoldmine]

sometimes those darkskin father/lightskin mother couples aren’t going to understand your situation until you start pointing things out. Like how Erica’s daughter did in the clip where she mentioned how in their family most of the couples consist of a lightskin woman with a darkskin man. I don’t think Erica meant any malice of course but she just didn’t understand what her daughter was dealing with. with her being a lighter complexion how could she really tbh

[@faevalentine9187]

I agree with pretty privilege making colorism less impactful. I favor Coco Jones and Sza and I have been the exception when it comes to “Preference”. The only time I experience any form of “colorism” , is around other black people. And I tend to avoid majority of them anyway so it’s not an issue for me .🤷🏾‍♀️ My life has been pretty easy honestly.

[@michaeljohnson-ym8zp]

I don’t blame you avoiding most black folks especially when you’re a conventionally attractive black woman. You’ll get more for your beauty outside of the black community anyway.

[@EtherealSolana]

I Agree but at the same time. Serial colorists never fail to remind you of your “place”

[@4everfaithfulun2Him]

I wouldn't even call it pretty privilege. It's more so featurism which also plays the same role of colorism to rank value of people in the blk community. If you are a dark female but have angular features vs soft round negroid features, you are treated better in a whyte supremacist construct ... for example, in latin America ... instead of calling you nggr or negro (which to them means dark skin with flat brow bone, full lips, broad nasal tip), Latinos will call you morena which to them means dark skinned blk person with eurocentric or Arabic facial features. Either way, whether they treat you right because your skin is lighter or because your nose is elongated with a point, they are still treating you better than other blks when they perceive you to have something whyte colonizers taught them made you more similar to them and therefore better than the other blk people. But angularity doesn't make someone pretty. It just makes them look more similar to european/Arabic (both caucasoid genetics) people. They made themselves the beauty standard when no one else agreed and graped and pillaged until every conformed. We a a people are lost and confused and don't realize that true beauty comes from facial symmetry ... not protruding bones.

[@AnastasiaBeaverhousn]

WTF do you think colorism comes from!! 🙄 YT people can't be colorist just racist! Y'all really need to learn the definition of words BEFORE using them!!

[@SiddityPrincess]

@8:26 that young lady is right! Too many immature unwilling to do the work, selfish, unwilling to become more healthy healed people willing to do the work and/or look at the world, BEFORE HAVING CHILDREN “parents”. It’s giving wanting the job without considering consequences or prerequisites while ignoring the “previous employees who’ve essentially held the job”. Like ignoring the yelp reviews 😵‍💫🙄

[@downtownon7thavenue]

This is a very complex conversation. LSW and DSM both have trauma and date each other because of it. There is a segment of LSW who purposely seek out DSM because they are considered rejects among their own men and know a self hating DSM will put them on a pedestal. Self hating DSM date LSW hoping to breed out their look while still being able to claim blackness. It’s all weird and speaks to how BP have a weird sense of what power means. We rather align ourselves with the power structure instead of doing the inner and outer work it takes to get respect for who we really are. WP worked for their privileges. We have to do the same. You’ll never have power breeding yourself out. Mixed race and LSBP don’t even have privileges unless it’s attached to a DSBP. Most people won’t even understand what I mean by that.

[@HealingMariah]

Pls pin this comment omg

[@EtherealSolana]

There is truth to this, but I wince at the “breeding yourself out”. The men in this community have sold blk women out since BEFORE the Arabs and European men came to the continent of Africa. Let’s be honest, (supplemented with my own research into the past) I’ve realized we aren’t gonna see that “wakanda” come to pass. We need to think as WOMEN. Yes our unique experience as black WOMEN does matter but never detach the womanhood part of your blkness. We should seek to have fulfilling lives that aren’t always about attaining some… let’s be honest, failure of a cause. It’s not gonna work. Save yourselves. Watch mahogany pink. We have to take back OUR power, and we cannot rely on some “Blk love” fight the power, kinda struggle to do so. We’ve tried for DECADES. Ain’t gonna work

[@zitamalaykhan]

Now white folks didn't work for their privilege. They force that upon the whole world and hence the reason we are in these complex situations....

[@reformedgirlblogger]

Why do dark skin women feel so comfortable speaking on lightskin women’s experience but we are never allowed to speak on anyone else’s…it’s very strange the assumptions people make and narratives that are created to suit agendas and make people feel better about themselves. Is light skin people don’t have privilege outside of the blk community then why even have the phrase light skin privilege…isn’t the whole point of that phrase is light skin people get treated better by society than dark skin people? I will never understand this back and forth and contradiction pertaining to what yall think the light skin experience is.

[@downtownon7thavenue]

@ ask yourself this question. If there was no perception of DSBP being at the bottom would you still have privilege? If I didn’t exist neither would the system sweetie….

[@LovelyJordy]

My niece is dark brown and she is so beautiful! Our family dotes on her and makes sure she knows she is that girl!!!! She’s so confident and I love it!

[@CoffeeCuties777]

That’s so wonderful 🤎🤎🤎🤎

[@BlendedBarbieDoll]

Parents (mothers and fathers) need to be honest with themselves and their children about the ways of the world. They also need to help their daughters find their true selves and how to navigate the world to get what they want. Embracing femininity is important, learning how to date young (vs. in your 20s) is important, setting boundaries and standards are important. These young ladies need to be empowered in their womanhood.

[@daniellebryant5854]

I had liked a guy in high school that was darker than me and he was not interested in me bc I wasn’t light enough for him (said he like red bone or lighter). He ended up marrying a girl from high school that is light with hazel eyes. I recently peeped on fb their 5 yr old daughter looks like me😅. I can only hope her colorist parents are not raising her with any complexes such as comparing herself to her mother.

[@undomesticatedjawn]

I come from a colorist/racist family. I speak on it. And they assume because I’m light it shouldn’t bother me. I make it clear I don’t come from a white woman like them. I come from black women. I’m black and you are talking about me.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Unfortunately light skin women’s experiences surrounding colorism are ignored but I personally feel like they can experience reverse colorism and have the right to speak on their experiences as well🤎

[@NoName-oe4gm]

Dark skin woman, Light skin mommy here🙋🏾‍♀️ And Thank GoD for My mother, bc she filled me w luv, She taught me about colorism and self love. And how the 🌍 will view, play and put BW against each other…. And how A Man is A Man….. And more

[@shannawilliams8769]

I still think this is important with our sons who are Darkskinned. Because even though the parent might be more accepted by the father, they still get teased and negative messages and grow up to become Colorist adults if we aren’t careful.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

True🤎

[@sopgod9445]

I had a dark skin mom and a light skin dad. I saw them as black. There was no colours nonsense in my home and family. You see this more with Americans unfortunately. They truly did a number on you. I am praying that you guys rise above this poisoned mind.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

That’s great you didn’t have to experience any of this in your household 🤎

[@marquettadeberry778]

Erica is brown well on the lighter side of brown but still brown I wouldn’t say she’s light skinned at all

[@maenad1231]

0:47 Why do they even expect this? The kid has THEIR genetics as well lol. This is like a 5’0” woman expecting her son to be tall because she married as >6’0” man. lol My mom isn’t what the black community considers “light” at all. She has an “average brown” black person’s skin tone and my dad has a dark skin tone. My sister came out a little darker than my dad & I came out a lot lighter than my mom. Stop expecting a certain outcome when heredity is so complex

[@nce2251]

I know a woman just like this. Both her son and daughter came out ds but there is a huge difference between how she treats them. The son is like 3 or 4 and is heavily babied but she talks to her 6 year old daughter like some grown woman she has beef with

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Wow smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@SiddityPrincess]

Yup this was my experience. My father got with my mom who was “light brown skin” I growing up was brown skin growing up in the south. Lighter than my brother and father. When he remarried he chose a light woman once again. They didn’t have kids together but she had a daughter and son a bit lighter than me. And they were both bullies. My brother then went on to date mostly ww. My step mother joined my step sister in the bullying.

[@PrettyPrincess9609]

My mother is dark skin but my grandma on my dad’s side is light skin and my father who wasn’t in my life is also light skin. I feel like deep down my dad’s side of the family never accepted her because she is dark skin. All of my uncles on my dad’s side married non black women and had mixed children. I will never forget how bad my cousins on my dad’s side treated me for being dark skin. They literally made fun of me for simply having darker skin. My own brothers who are also lighter skin bullied me for being dark skin. My grandma and my cousin also would brag about being mixed. I will also never forget when my light skin grandma on my dad’s side told me that I needed to marry a white man and started talking bad about black men. I asked her aren’t your sons black men ? She stopped in her tracks then told me well I do have a friend who is married to a black man and he treats her well. Well now I’m getting married to a black man who just happens to be lighter skin but she didn’t accept it at first because she wanted me to have lighter skin mixed children who look like my lighter skin mixed cousins. She knew if I got with a black man even if he is lighter skin, I can still have a dark skin black child who shares my skin color. It’s sad how bad colorism is in the black community.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Oh wow 😮 I’m so sorry you had to go through this and yes colorism is a huge deal still in 2025 unfortunately 😔

[@AnastasiaBeaverhousn]

You STILL speak to her?? 🙄 You need to sit on someone couch BEFORE getting married!!

[@legslikewhoa]

Erica not shutting up listen to her daughters lived experiences really irritated me! She doesn’t have the same experience! Hush up!

[@CoffeeCuties777]

I agree🤎

[@Buttergirla]

Dark skin momma and light akin daddy over here! Funny cu i look straight African😊

[@JaneDoane]

???! Yes because african come in all shades !!

[@Buttergirla]

@JaneDoane ma'am.. I look like I'm straight from Cameroon. Why do yall use word play??

[@Buttergirla]

@@JaneDoane and I know a lot of y'all don't like to hear this but people that's from West Africa compared to African-Americans a lot of times have a very distinct unique look a lot of us in America do look like our cousins over there but I can pick out an African girl real quick fast and in a hurry in comparison with a group of African-American girls they have slight differences

[@JaneDoane]

@Buttergirla ??? I didn't say otherwise and I didn't talk about aa or other group of people but just skin tones !You say "dark skin mom, light skin dad [...] funny cu I look straigt african" so ???! They are african with "pale" (albinos), to light, brown skin to the the darkest shade ! So !!? I'm just saying african come in all shades that's it

[@JaneDoane]

@Buttergirla c'est marrant parce que j'aurais pas dit que du vient du cameroun, d'afrique même 😅

[@ebenaebekoe3460]

I am blessed all my people except for my moms brother are brown/darkskin so there wasnt too much colorism except for favoring the lightest od the bunch

[@juicereveal]

My mom is dark skinned, father is light skinned..im almond brown and i can remember a time i got dressed up for a school event (around 12-14) and wore this beautiful white and yellow dress...instead of my mom telling me how nice i looked or anything of the sorts ...she goes on to take a look at me and proceeded to ask "oh you think you light skinn huh?" My first reaction was to say "what do you mean? You're black black and darker than me." Words like that never left my mouth but i couldnt believe what she had said to me...all while my light bright skinned sister watched the whole interaction. To this day i still randomly think of that. No one has ever tried me with no feeling less than about my complexion but my mom and its crazy bc she's dark skinned 🤔🤷

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Wow 😮 smh 🤦🏾‍♀️ sorry you had to experience that🤎

[@AndthefuturelookedBlack-hq7hy]

1:55- I believe this is how Safari feels about his daughter with Erica Mena. Her hair didn't come out like Erica's and she looks exactly like Safari! Epic fail in his eyes, I truly believe. 🤭 Smh

[@CoffeeCuties777]

I hope that’s not his issue smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@AndthefuturelookedBlack-hq7hy]

@CoffeeCuties777 NOT his ONLY issue, at least. I saw an interaction between him and the little girl and it definitely appeared that way to me. He seemed annoyed at her, not like a loving dad who loves being around his pretty little princess. Her hair was Afroed out and he seemed to ignore her while he was on his livestream as if she was in his way. Most men like to show off their little girls. It appeared to be the opposite with Safari and his daughter.

[@Sweetdreamz313]

I’m so sick of people

[@CoffeeCuties777]

lol 😂

[@annawoods3120]

I was the light skin sister with a dark skin sister and she def felt the effects of colorism but in a diff way. She has long loose type 3 hair so I feel like she tried to put herself above other women. I know it was a defense mechanism but our family could have done better.

[@AligningHer]

When you realize that your parents preference would not be you… Internalization is wild. My mom’s best friend said on the way to my sons graduation that she was excited to see her new chocolate man. How she worded it was awkward so I asked her what she meant. She said she was always attracted to darker men but ( and said this with a straight face) she didn’t won’t dark children. She’s what black southerners call high yellow and so was her husband of 40 years. All her girls high yellow with one being a lighter brown. I felt sorry for her and sad for my friend but it also explained a lot about my friend growing up. I’m thankful that my mom who is light brown to light and my maternal aunts and grandmother who are all light ensured I never struggled with being chocolate or brown. But the number of black boys and men who say you’re pretty to be dark… Internalization is wild.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Oh wow smh 🤦🏾‍♀️ that is sad🤎

[@hebrewwarrior-u4u]

Erica daughter definitely up on it... tjats how it is with my so called family .. the most of the males are with women or married to women lighter than a brown paper bag or a whole different race..

[@tikabella21]

You must explain colorism to your children before people come to them about it- when they’re early school age appropriate, regardless if they’re darker skinned brown or lighter skinned brown- and explain how beautiful each shade of color is in this world. Also you have to set boundaries with family members or friends that have this “colorist” attitude to avoid them imprinting that on your children. I say also be honest because kids can handle it, and teach them to love themselves first before worrying about if a boy or girl likes them. That will enhance their confidence and there will be no need to feel validated from others.

[@ShayJohnson-eh6vc]

My daddy would never, he was darker than his Creole family n they treated him differently,, he rob his whole family n sold their land n moved from New Orleans to Baton Rouge ❤😂he said tha was his payback for being treated like shit

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Oh wow

[@muniramccullar614]

my ex sister in law is a very dark skinned female and so his her ex husband and they had 4 sons and 1 was born as light has her mother.....her mother is biracial and her father was dark skinned.....GENETICS she was the only 1 of her parents 8 kids to be their fathers color. she was picked on......her lighter son was sadly picked on for being lighter....she realized it's something in people that makes color very important

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Smh 🤦🏾‍♀️ that’s so unfortunate 😔

[@Jeffersoncw]

My mom is light skin and my dad is dark skin. They had children 3 brown skins, 1 light skin , and 1 dark skin. My dad had other kids as well 2 were mixed race and 1 brown skin. They moms were light skin and non black. He never said anything about our complexions he only talk about my mom complexion sometimes and he always talked about his light skin children.

[@bbxmusic56]

My sister is the same complexion as my father. Im the baby… he denied me any and everything but swiped his card for her easily in front of me. I hated him.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Wow smh 🤦🏾‍♀️ I’m sorry you had to go through that🤎

[@angelr5694]

Is losing all over the Internet by how people are behaving to certain celebrities while ignoring others it's oozing in conversations about how they're responding to certain demographics and images over others and music as well. If you pay close attention, you can see who the children are of these pairings. I also think we need to be aware of how men shape the beauty, standard and narrative around black women's image as well. Black women need to stop taking what men say and owning our own. Even if that means carving out our own space.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

I agree🤎

[@Daphneamy360]

Im multiracial on my Mom side I made a Last shade In the medium skin tone so I get 💯

[@dimpleswimples504]

My father is dark skin and my mother is fair skin and my siblings both took on my mother's color and I took on my father's color. I have been told I was adopted by my biological brother and teased as a young child by my cousins and uncles regarding my color. Growing up in a colorist family from Louisiana definitely hurt my self esteem as a young girl. My parents made sure to tell me I was beautiful however, i wish they would have shut down my uncles and cousins teasing me. Now that i have children of my own who are dark skinned I tell them how handsome and beautiful they are on a daily basis and to bot let anyone tell them any different.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Wow 😮 I’m so sorry you had to go through that but I’m happy you’re breaking generational curses through your children🤎🤎🤎

[@dimpleswimples504]

@CoffeeCuties777 Thank you for your kind words 😊 Breaking generational curses one barrier at a time! Thank you for your platform 🫶🏾

[@shakirahill885]

Light skin father lighter skinned mother ppl have always wondered where I got my “color” from. Smh tough days when as a child I spent a lot of summer days outside and got even darker.

[@reformedgirlblogger]

You’re pretty! I’m sure you look stunning with your tan ☀️💅

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Wow smh 🤦🏾‍♀️ so sorry you had to go through this and I agree with the comment above your very beautiful 🤎

[@coolchristiangirl190]

Update, I found the full episode here on yet and here is the link: kzbin.info/www/bejne/b2qTnWp9bdmWbLcsi=vCynWsZfZBQTLhG7 From this episode they honestly don’t address DSBM preferring LSBW beyond the clip you have but as others have noted Erica does go out to gain a better understanding of colorism by reaching out to a little girl who created the flexin my complexion clothing line. Regarding her husband thoughts he doesn’t address preferences and talks about his own experiences with colorism. As I noted in my other comment, I dislike how Erica tries to compare her experiences of being bullied to their experiences of colorism and I wish she would just listen.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Omg 😳 thank you so much…I plan to do a live on this topic next Friday…I’m so happy to be able to share the dad’s response…I will definitely credit you in the live🤎🤎🤎

[@coolchristiangirl190]

@ Np and tysm! I also know that they do continue this talk in another episode (with Marsai Martin) and I’ll see if I can find that as well. I look forward to your live!😃

[@aprilfarrington8436]

My Grandfather My Mom Father He Was Very Colorists Till His Dying Day My Grandfather He Didn't Like The Dark Skins Grandchildrens My Grandfather He Only Like The Lightning Skins Grandfather My Grandfather When He Was Young Back In The Day He Only Dating Lightning Skins Women And Mix Women My Grandmother Was Mix My Mom Mother

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Oh wow that’s unfortunate smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@malikalenesey6164]

Was he dark skin?

[@ODaddySavage]

🎉🎉 I was ecstatic when I saw the title. My mother is light skinned with so-called good hair. I am much darker than her with tight coils. If ANY one of my coils was found somewhere other than my head my stepfather would LOSE his mind in disgust and I was severely punished.❤❤❤to this day I am traumatized❤❤

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Oh wow smh 🤦🏾‍♀️ I’m so sorry you had to deal with that smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@coolchristiangirl190]

I did see more clips of the episode and she does tell her husband about it, in response he does acknowledge colorism and how his sister, who is also dark skin, was turned down for offers because of her complexion. Later on in the episode they do get dark skin women incl. Marsai Martin to talk about it, though I did dislike when Erica tries to compare her experience of getting mocked for asking for a lighter brown crayon when she was young to their experiences. Overall, I still took it as her husband purposefully dating LSBW to not have dark skin babies and also place blame on him for not informing Erica about these things (especially since she states that she prayed for her daughter to be dark skin).

[@staciep2638]

She is right

[@DeLaTr0ll]

My mom is light and my dad is dark skinned. My dad and my uncle bother married lighter women but my uncle is kind of jealous of lighter women. All of us came out brown skinned so there wasn’t an issue except for my dad being offended my brother isn’t as dark as him. I think texturism was more of an issue in my family because everyone’s the same complexion. However, my children are light and we’ve had some issues arise.

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Thank you for sharing…what issues have taking place with you having lighter children🤎

[@DeLaTr0ll]

@ snarky remarks and a disregard for their feelings because they’re “light” but allude to the more melanated kids as smarter. Then compare hair or features. Just things to cause us to have hang ups weather you’re more or less melanated.

[@lex77lex]

So the father is the only one that's colorist? These men show their color way before the baby is born. And you women know it. Some of you can't admit out loud that some of you got colorist mothers. She was on her knees praying for a wavy headed light skinned daughter, and grandma too!

[@MJoale]

This may be something we may blame these men for, but perhaps we should be grateful if they express this early on. Either way they are seeing the world as it is, it is a harder life for dark skinned girls/women, and I don’t think the father to be is wrong for wanting a daughter whom the world is more likely to love and cherish. We all want our children’s lives to be easier. Colourism is wrong no doubt, and so are so many other things. The reality is it continues to exist and you will have to manoeuvre differently in the world to achieve everything you want. I choose to accept the world as it is, it doesn’t actually mean it is truth, it just so happens to be the reality of the world we find ourselves in.

[@Poornima-f3i]

First i wanted to know y do u people r called blacks ? When ur coffee bean brown ,nd whites r not white nd they r lightest shade of the brown

[@Poornima-f3i]

I am not lieing .u can check foundation shades on line it starts from lighter shade brown to dearest shade of brown .❤

[@studiofiftyflora]

Oop

[@CoffeeCuties777]

🤎🤎🤎🤎

[@kymm46]

Kelly is tired of people using her as the example!! Slot of light skinned men like dark skin women! This conversation isn't new! Our communities aren't the only ones going through this! Colorism is global!

[@CoffeeCuties777]

lol 😂 at Kelly being tired and I agree colorism is global🤎

[@AnastasiaBeaverhousn]

Why should Black people care what everyone else is going through!! 🙄

[@OvhoKaren]

My mother is light skin my dad is dark me and my sister are brown skin. My dad had a previous marriage and all his kids are light skin from That. He actually treats me better than them 😂😂😂 and I’m darker. My mother never played that light dark mess in our house family and majority of my family is mixed with all ethnicities I love it here.

[@killahkurlz7157]

She could have had her daughter go talk to the father about it.

[@killahkurlz7157]

Why do we have to make excuses for men’s preferences.

[@killahkurlz7157]

11:10 yes!

[@CoffeeCuties777]

Yes it would have been nice if her dad was involved in the conversation 🤎

[@killahkurlz7157]

@@hotpink7088 so men just get to live and be free and women must carry the burden? no thanks.

[@epiphannytaylor3211]

My only thing is…. I feel like dark skinned women haven’t grown out of their insecurities. I don’t understand why bc I don’t have any of the issues at my adult age. I’m not spending the time to think about this stuff bc I know I’m beautiful whether the majority believes it or not. And her daughter isn’t even dark. Im feeling like she went down a rabbit hole and she viewing herself in that light unfortunately

[@aprilbrown1195]

the colorism thing is definitely true, i grew up being called LS but i never considered myself LS, but i was teased all the time by everyone in my family except my mom for it. My DS siblings was all treated the same but i was the only one teased in the family. a different perspective. But now that I'm older (23), my siblings come and talk about colorism, and how people will treat them a certain way because they're DS. I almost feel bad to say this but i don't feel sorry for them. But my experiences definitely opened up my eyes from a young age, i noticed that boys will say that LS girls are better, and i always hated it when people mentioned anything abt skin tone, and I'm still the same way now. I love DS more than LS, thats why i don't respect these men and their "preferences" at all, it's just all colorism imo, and i think they will definitely dislike their DS children in the end.

[@TrueMiThompson]

I’m light skinned my husband is brown skinned our daughter got darker (milk chocolate) at 3 months old his grandmother was dark. When he said oh wow the baby kinda chocolate like wth those are your genes. Now at 10 she’s honey brown and my oldest daughter is light like me. They’re both beautiful no matter the shade ❤❤

[@imjustsaying364]

When I was still dating, the moment a dude made reference to my beautiful skin tone, especially when I had acne, or my gorgeous hair Immediately turned off. Get away right now!! 🤮