STOP CHASING & Enter Your Bad B*tch Era In 70 Minutes Instead! | Sabrina Zohar

[@LisaBilyeu]

WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!

[@The_Mim]

Thank you Lisa 😊 💓 🎉

[@laureldell7377]

Lmmfao.....too true

[@high8health]

@LisaBilyeu can You ask Tom if he can have Dinah Jane on his show as well. Thank you for supporting Dinah and having her.

[@Portia620]

I’m a Big personality too!!! 😂😂. I hear you girl

[@kimgordon3695]

2:30 💜 permission granted!

[@spyroluver0951]

trust your womanly instinct ladies. Keep safe while dating, no matter the age, meaning: 1. Tell family and friends close to you where you are going, who you are with and his car rego. 2. Get yourself to the date and back yourself. 3. Don't unload all your trauma, negative experiences from family and friends and exes. They can use that against you. You are valuable and deserve to be treated well. You're saftey comes first Queens 👑

[@head_in_the_clouds]

Remember ladies.. effort is always a direct reflection of interest! Text or no text.. never ignore your gut feeling it always knows what's up!

[@Jacquelinerenees]

I dont know who this woman is, but shes VERY intelligent and real. What she’s saying is 100% legit

[@helendavies5252]

Yes!! I wish I'd heard this this time last year, which would have helped me with a situation I've allowed myself to be in. I've bought dating advice from men (online). Listening to the woman and with the help of a therapist and I'm going to brave up this weekend and ask what the hell it is he wants from me and I'm going to tell him what I want .

[@Rozie32]

I m the same as her! Very very real shit !! 😂

[@LaughingLead]

I am currently in this process, she is exactly right, walk away from people who criticize, want you to be different, those are most likely narcs, abusers,etc. I don’t care who doesn’t like me, I appreciate those who do!

[@AnyaSul]

My heart is so ready for relationship, but my childhood trauma is not 🙄

[@Kathryn-cw6mv]

I hear you. I hope you’re working on healing so you can take your power back.❤

[@Modelmom925]

I hear you, now rewind, look yourself in the mirror and press record: “I am enough and I embrace my childhood trauma because I’m ready for a relationship.” You deserve all the good life has to offer. Peace and love on your journey. ❤

[@hecallsmetiana]

Yo, this struck a nerve… So relatable

[@enhanceyourfeatures]

😂love this comment

[@esrablogger7797]

Best comment ever

[@angelm6497]

Less than 2 minutes in and I have total respect for this woman. I like her and totally agree with her. I think these fake ass apps are building a very rocky foundation for decades to come.

[@SheRahMusic]

I left my marriage not because I didn’t love/d my partner. He’s very narcissistic and always blamed others. When I broke up he said to me that I’m the one breaking up and what he’s doing on dating apps 2-3 Days after our break up is non of my concern because I was the one breaking it. Throughout the whole relationship he lacked understanding and empathy Communication about my feelings never been important and always blamed back to me. That at the End he said he regretted me because I never respected him as a man while I put up to his bs for years. Started my own career after staying home with kids for 8 years and now I’m the bad one, just like all the other exes !!! This break up been very very hard I saw how much I need to heal…I wasn’t the perfect one either but emotional and physical neglect hurt her very much. You are married but still alone…that’s not a life I’m 26

[@brandirobinson8430]

I understand. 24 years off, and on with my narcissist . They'll find another victim. Have pitty for the next one.

[@kimgordon3695]

Be sure to heal b4 dating again. For me it took 5 years. Otherwise you' ll attract theSAME

[@cc1k435]

I'm there, too, in my 40s. He's the one who's never going to learn a thing. Be glad you are capable of it. Find a support group for trauma and/or domestic violence, online if you have to. It can help a LOT to get feedback from people who have been there, for sure. ❤

[@vaska1999]

He said things just to hurt you because a narcissist can never be wrong, you know. Start a new hobby, join a group that shares an interest you have, fill your life with activities so you don't sit around replaying endlessly the nasty things that man said to you. And when the memories come, imagine a huge big mirror in front of you, facing his way, so everything he said reflects back on him, without even reaching you. Try this a few times -- it really does help.

[@Jacquelinerenees]

Thank you for also stating that this shit IS GOING TO COME UP in relationship. Ive had ppl tell me how much work theyve done alone and that they are solid and ive watched them crumble in relationship.

[@lynnewint3112]

I don't like texting either, unless you reach out I won't either, and I'm completely fine

[@vvbanx5760]

Omg...this is one of the REALEST podcasts I've heard. It's exactly what I needed, in this phase of my personal journey!!!🎉

[@hayleySuzanne01]

Slept with mine 1st date nd 10 yrs later still here, but I think the common pattern is I didn't think or was not looking for anything serious or I probably would of held off and acted like a princess 😂

[@andreac.6779]

“If you are not having the conversation bc is detrimental, imagine if you don’t “!!!! Yay

[@helendavies5252]

Yes!!! I wish I'd heard this late last year when I wanted to ask someone about what was happening between us. I am doing that this weekend.

[@andreaberkovic8029]

This was one of the best eye-opening podcasts ever, thank you for this interview! Love Sabrina's energy

[@EMuro-wu7uy]

I've been hanging out with a friend, and I am finding an amazing new balance by just being myself. Not trying to sell a car to someone who only wants a ride on the bicycle. I get guys that tell me what they will accept from me, but never ask what I want or need. It's a very strange and good relationship. I am practicing putting good boundaries in place and setting and maintaining those.

[@kimgordon3695]

ps. & Steer clear of Hollywood

[@nourelhoudakhemidja2960]

Well im not a native speaker but I love how sabrina talks , lol talking too fast and making the point is really a super power

[@albuleneahmeti6916]

I follow Sabrina's Podcast Do the Work. She is like the big sister we all need!

[@amystefko5484]

Sabrina, you have all my answers girl. I'm gonna turn this around. I finally get me. Understanding myself is huge. Thank you for being real!!! ❤ Nearly word for word has been my life. The anxiety- so much control. Now I can see it, I can take my life back! 🥰

[@yokonono2171]

The guest has fresh perspective. I like that she sees things in a more positive constructive light. Very good

[@meghanasuchak78]

This felt like therapy gold for someone who was ghosted in a marriage and has a lot of abandonment issues. ❤

[@gracepurcell7825]

Watching & listening to her guest Sabrina is like watching/listening to myself..guessing we've both had similar CPTSD and childhood trua/wounds..and I have high energy, talk/process fast and have been told to take it down or I'm too much which I now reply "then find someone who is less!" 😅 and we've have done THE work and are now more self aware..I give the advice she is giving to my friends. And I got some good AHA moments here too..thanks for this discussion. 💚🙏

[@TxHoneyBee]

It's true that it's not black and white re: 'He wanted to he would', however there is a fine line in a sea if gray between 'he is a narcand manipulating/bread crumbing' vs he's got a wound/trigger and can't despite wanting to. There is a lot of risk in giving the benefit of the doubt that it's the later.

[@azu74]

That fine line is the one I cannot figure out.

[@TxHoneyBee]

@@azu74 I think if you start to feel more and more anxious or unsafe around this person, it's time to end it. Stress kills, and these males aren't worth it.

[@jegedeoluwanisola7883]

This session is healing... thank you.

[@trudiegordon6327]

Sabrina is excellent and gave me peace of mind with her explanations - brilliant.

[@grumpyschnauzer]

I think she missed something... if someone ages 0-7 watched their parents fight OVER SOMETHING THE CHILD DID OR DIDNT DO then the child might internalize they are fighting because of "Me". When I was a 7 I watched my parents fight and sometimes they were fighting about my sisters and sometimes they were fighting about money... but I could always discern that they were incompatible and better suited divorced. 7 years later they did. I didn't think their fights were my fault. My father had mental health issues that grew difficult for the family being supported and our safety. However, my dad was in and out of the home. When he was gone, the house breathed a sigh of relief but a lot of betrayal and injustices occurred between my mom and us daughters. When he was home he always wanted this big elaborate welcome and I hated having to give it because I also knew when my dad was home after 4 day hiatus working, things in the house got more tense and pins and needles like. So now I end up in relationships with men who choose work first and sometimes are in and out of the home. My last relationship to a cop didn't work. When he was gone I felt single and lived my life accordingly. Then when he was home everything and all attention went towards him. I need to break this pattern. I did a lot of self-abandoning in my last relationships because of this pattern. Wish you could do a talk on toxic siblings.

[@purplefler4579]

This is the best interview so far!! 😎 Eye-opening, really ❤️ Keep talking this fast, love it!! 🌸🌷💐

[@CanButler85]

This girl is speaking truth 🔥

[@bananaaaaaaaah]

To address an early issue in the interview, a man that needs to text and talk every single day is love-bombish. While dating initially, being in constant communication doesn't seem viable

[@solfh]

That you don’t like it or don’t bother or don’t want to make the effort to have a daily conversation, doesn’t mean everyone is like you. Luckily a lot of people do want and make the effort to be constantly present in their partner life

[@melaniep6543]

Although I agree with many of her points, I firmly believe that if I woman wants a relationship the waiting to be intimate with a man for a trial period is crucial. Most women cannot remove the connection after sleeping with a man, and it opens a woman up to heart ache and being used if she doesn’t protect herself. By all means, if you want to have a quickie with no expectations go for it, but if you truly want a relationship, wait it out. See if the man shows up, and how he does. Don’t give yourself up for someone who might not deserve it.

[@agamdc]

I love this woman. So much wisdom and down to earth info.

[@marediththaele1076]

This is really good getting a lot of insight from this interview

[@magnaajube7784]

Hello Lisa please could you encourage your guest to consider the few people who don’t appreciate swearing so much thank you for your wonderful podcast.

[@selopibani3220]

Gosh that part where you talked about your “little me”… really got me 😭

[@triple999fruitful]

Very intelligent lady. Glad she's sensible. Wish I had someone like this to listen to years ago!

[@NUCLEARMAMA1313]

❤ this one...side note - I had to do ice baths during my 1st pregnancy 14yrs ago bc (Summer in NH) I had bug bites so bad it was the only thing that relieved it! 😮😅 I often take cold showers...when I was a kid I apparently was nick named polar pear bc I would get in the coldest of unheated pools/Beach on a cold day...didn't realize the ice bath 🥶 was a thing otherwise...Now I wanna do it again 😅

[@SarahWeber]

This is gold. Thank you ❤

[@SadieStarz]

Sorry Lisa, content is great, but i cant stop wondering where you got those bomb ass shoes!!!

[@batyahjones5763]

Absolutely love this I needed this video this morning ❤

[@trudymccann3671]

What a fantastic Program! Thank You, THank YOu, THANK YOU!!!

[@Grecellerivera]

Just because you can schedule a text doesn’t mean he is doing that …

[@evalebedinsky3830]

Why when I was 18 I was doing inner child work and looking for a real relationship and at 25, only experienced pain and heartbreak. I didn’t sleep around and party up in my early twenties. Andy friends who have been partying and sleeping around are now in long term relationships but I’m single

[@Versatile668]

It's just really strange hearing that from somebody that's in a relationship

[@italianlifestyle7911]

Exactly the inspiration I needed over a hot cup of cocoa☕

[@esintial]

Not sure if I can relate to 2 women who have not been single for is it 20 years?😮❤Thanks anyway for the video.

[@OTF-nv1bw]

Sabrina isn’t married though. She got into a relationship not that long ago.

[@urbansurvivor360]

I fell for mr wrong and thankfully I've now seen the light. A few sleepless months of obsessing. I tod him how I felt at one point nothing heavy or deep just basic and clear. Very little affect. What I saw in him I dunno. This too shall pass sis 😊

[@prettytings8216]

I'm crazy and they better love it or go away. 😊

[@abeerunis8605]

Loved Sabrina! She's so FUN! I could listen to her all day 😊 thank you!

[@tasha5470]

Such great content. But this video gives me anxiety because of how fast they're talking lol

[@CatalinaFOIA]

I agree; I slowed it down to 0.75x speed and it's perfect.

[@diannaantes5262]

❤❤❤ Great episode!!

[@anniewhereandAmsterdam]

Love this! Great wisdom

[@Godsglory24]

He traveled for 3 weeks! And throughout his trip, I reached out to know if he arrived safe and wished him a fun stay! Never heard of him, didn’t text, didn’t call, again, I reached out to wish him a happy birthday and never heard of him again and he is back and didn’t call or text! Is it my fault?

[@pinkchilldivestmentor]

Well right now it’s your fault because he’s dumped you leave him alone. I know it hurts back off no more communication from you.

[@cocobonvon81]

Wow thank you sabrina!

[@Princesscolex]

I'm not sure about this one.

[@teenafrench7236]

Oh she's good🎉

[@possiblewithsimonemaduro2056]

I love this so much..

[@camuchanomellini903]

LOVE THE SEGMENTS IN THIS CHANEL 💖

[@amberthrockmorton9757]

I’m not even a full minute into this and already LOVE it!!! 💪🏼🫶🏼

[@jbdwoodbridge]

Love her!!!!

[@tresjolieme81]

you guys dont look 10 years apart

[@misskgreene9866]

Are we censoring cursing on KZbin now??

[@jasminejanae4990]

I hate the bleeps 😩 Love the interview!!! ♥️♥️♥️

[@bigcatenergy3707]

I love herrrrr

[@JordynAquino13]

I agree with what she has to say but omg, every time she pops up on my screen her agro energy is so intense for me.

[@thefirstdoctors]

Great 💯

[@nehemilia5033]

I wish i knew this like 10 years ago

[@nehemilia5033]

Where did i learn this attitude from ?

[@nehemilia5033]

Finally someone validates my opinions

[@janet_ra]

I can’t listen to Lisa, too busy watching at her arms 😍🫠😂 thanks ladies, this is the best topic

[@-._.-KRiS-._.-]

I find that matching his effort, not his energy, works pretty well. If I just responded to a deep conversation we were having and he doesn't respond back for a while, I don't keep trying to continue the conversation until he replies back. If he never replies back, that's an answer, and I don't have to feel bad about walking away. I can be secure enough with myself that it was a nice experience to open up with someone and connect vulnerably without being attached to the outcome. If he does reply back, with effort to what I said, then I know he's still interested in connecting. But I don't have to prioritize my response back knowing he hasn't been prioritizing his. I'm not trying to play a game (and I hope this isn't one), and I want to be respectful and understanding of his busy life, but matching effort feels right.

[@laritafrancois2184]

I agree with you

[@andriavinithalobo5813]

Damnn sooo rightly said.

[@BrooklynBaby100]

Stop texting 💬 paragraphs is the answer

[@nohmyclaire]

Yesssss

[@unkn0wnr0ckstar]

thank you for this!

[@weightlosshacks00]

The only part I disagree with is that hookup culture is at all healthy, it's pretty damaging. I had one hookup turn into a stalker that lasted years. Please be careful ladies.

[@CatalinaFOIA]

Agreed. Hook up culture is extremely dangerous on a multitude of levels from stalking, to diseases, including STI's... it is NOT worth it.

[@risdaaprilia7021]

i do agree. and also everytime you hook up and give your body to somebody its damaging your soul. your energy is shared to so many people and will left you souless.. you will feel empty..

[@springfauna1465]

​@@risdaaprilia7021I wish more people knew this because it's more important than they realize!!

[@AutisticBarbie]

❤

[@sunflowerroark5170]

I wouldn't hook up quickly.

[@tanyasharadamba1264]

"Choose something ... do something every day for yourself." ❤

[@enhanceyourfeatures]

Exactly ❤

[@Sci-d9c]

He was ignoring my calls and texts intermittently. I got tired of it and Blocked him. I’m not chasing nobody! He’s a Coward and Disrespectful! Why would I continue to support that behavior because he always comes back when he’s ready! Well I’m not ready indefinitely ! So BLOCK AND GOOD RIDDANCE!

[@kre8504]

I ended up blocking a guy who was playing me. He wasn’t listening to me & expecting me to brainlessly, follow. I may be blond, but I’m not dumb, nor am I going to suck up to him to have a relationship. It’s rather stupid, of him to expect me to blindly follow. I’ve been around the block & not going to play along with his game!!

[@kingdom_manifestations]

The words I see that stand out about your post: "brainless" "I may be blonde" "Im not dumb" "stupid" "blindly follow"-- as the lady said in the video--- "what's the real trigger here? What memory in your subconscious memory bank has brought you to this conclusion about him." What do u feel? Sit with it.... get to the root cause. I'm also doing this sane exercise myself going forward so just know there's no judgement at all.

[@kre8504]

@@kingdom_manifestations I think In getting to the root of it, was that he wasn’t listening. I finally had to cut him off. I think his ego got hurt, because it wasn’t long B4, I realized texting him was a waist of my time.

[@vaska1999]

​@@kingdom_manifestations There's the root experience and then there's your current experience of being ignored and disrespected. The current one you can step out of by walking away from the person who's belittling you .

[@flyandshy00]

Why you call a man? First mistake, if he's not connecting with you for 5 days and you have been to like 2-3 dates - block.

[@FeminineLogos]

“Stop waiting for his text” - time to block him.

[@Tratamientos44]

Yes block Him prevents that he back only for ego

[@FeminineLogos]

@@Tratamientos44 They are always bored, have a roster, and when their top 3 or 5 females are unresponsive they start thinking where they can get their dopamine fix. Then they remember the good women, knowing the good ones have genuine emotions and empathy and won’t let them on read. Wrong. We are not dumb anymore. So just block him. As I used to say as a teenager, my door was open all the time for you, and yet, you chose to leave. Now I don’t discuss, when I feel something is off I block him immediately, let him go back to his league, focus on my work and wellbeing and new men are there in minutes (when you detach, completely).

[@FeminineLogos]

Dear ladies: • breadcrumbing - time to block him • manipulative - time to block him • financially unstable - time to block him • not loyal - time to block him • aggressive - time to block him • love bombing - time to block him • devaluation phase - time to block him • stealing money from you - time to block him • hiding his phone - time to block him • watches red pill content - time to block him • no small gifts - time to block him • bad in bed - time to block him • not completely compatible - time to block him • calls you after 10pm - time to block him • has no friends - time to block him • stalking you - time to block him • forcing you to do anything - time to block him • weird way of thinking eg satan!st - time to block him • lazy af - time to block him • thinks men are superior - time to block him • spends more time doing his makeup and hair than you do 😁 - time to block him

[@flolacandola9396]

I have anxious attachment style relationship the more I listens to other podcasts the more I get depressed, when listened to this lady Zohar I understand myself more. I love this lady so much I feel set free.

[@Portia620]

So if they don’t text that freaks you out? I do that with my kids and drive them nuts!!! In realionships I’m like they are busy. My poor kids

[@enhanceyourfeatures]

From what she said…You just need more activities. Go have fun and find yourself

[@annealcantara6952]

I feel you so much! I'm going to start changing!

[@heidicarlson1740]

She is the only one that makes sense and helps you reach your authentic self which is where you need to be!

[@Transform_with_Tea]

Awareness is the first step but changed behavior is actual growth 🌶️

[@Portia620]

Now I don’t care if they abandon me and I’m like whatever. I am so healed. 😂😂. I got this now!

[@july7578]

You have a point

[@AdrienneAliciaGodsDaughter]

Riiight 💯💯💯

[@Portia620]

It’s funny when they go. You can’t bring up your act. You can’t compare me to your ex and I’m like how am I pissed to not repeat the past I expect you to compare me to your ex cause I’m sure you don’t want your ex do you?😂😂🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. Wow double wow Somebody comes to me and says that I’m the one they just know and they got butterflies and God told them in the first few minutes. I’m quite concerned because there’s nothing wrong with saying all this person beautiful whatever but that’s not what is it about my ex-husband did the same thing and he left me because he said he didn’t like who I was like the inside in the outside guess what the outside is gonna deteriorate !!!!

[@Portia620]

The same guy gaslit me by telling me. I don’t think you’re ready for a relationship. I’m like OK therapist but last time I checked, I hired a therapist to help me with dating and she told me to date you.😂😂. I think we should see the therapist about what I did.😂 is Mr. GQ too good to be true right by saying I shouldn’t bring up my ex-husband last time. I brought my ex-husband. There was like a little argument. I’m like there’s two arguments. We made it to the f… date and you got to be kidding me! This feels exactully like my last just wrapped up in a prettier package. My ex didn’t have any money at all. A big reason I avoid these guys. I think they’re better off with the sugar babies. There of the ones that tell them exactly what they wanna hear and they’re perfect for them and they perform all kinds of tricks for money but it’s a shallow relationship go get that I’m far from shallow. I’m real and I’m gonna tell the truth.! 🙏🥂

[@nompendulomqala8512]

I wish I could have your mentality!

[@Tania_888]

This came at a perfect time. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. ❤

[@nessaness2328]

I think if your dates are super strong, sharing feelings and loving each others company etc... and then not hear from them via text for a few days is inconsistent behaviour. Or you start to feel like if you send them a text your harrasing them..theres an issue. Yes, it triggers an insecurity in myself. In my opinion, if they are not talking to me, they probably are talking to someone else.. sending a text or calling in my mind is the bare minimal effort.

[@Jacquelinerenees]

Accepting yourself is 100% the key

[@CatalinaFOIA]

This information is coming out so fast... I put the speed on 0.75x and it is perfect! 🙌

[@Lea-pj5em]

Thanks for the tip! 💪🏼

[@yvettem.holland5072]

Thanks

[@CherrypieLola]

Same here!

[@discovercarmelle4573]

THANKS FOR THE TIP! This definitely helped!!!! 🙏🏾✨

[@birdysing]

20.50 The 3 steps：super profound 1. What was my trigger? What disregulated you? 2. Feel the physical sensation in your body for 90 seconds, identify what the sensations are. Focus on the feelings. 3. What is the narrative? Do you have the facts to support this narrative, what are contrary? Try to reframe it. When did you feel it for the first time? Don’t self-abandon. Be there for yourself when it’s uneasy, discomfort. Don’t project your past to the other person you are seeing

[@tinyelephant77]

Thank you

[@kimgordon3695]

❤

[@bonniejones7919]

Great wisdom. I'm 66 and widowed and started dating. Knowing this information is priceless. I'm much calmer and empowered and at peace. Thanks young ladies! You're awesome. 😊

[@BetterTogether300]

@bonniejones79..dont forget condoms...avoid stds get tested

[@BetterTogether300]

More seniors r getting stds cuz of dating in these years. Be careful...get vaccinated against .etc..guardisil.....

[@FearfullyandWonderfullyMade139]

Wow ! You're brave. I'm done with dating..at 45 ...it's no longer worth it.

[@chriskahlson]

Open, trusted, shared with each others digital devices, I have nothing to hide, how many women are uncomfortable sharing because they are concealing digital deception ?

[@martharosario1657]

I'm 62 and out of a relationship for 7 yrs. Thanks to this advice, I know how to ask questions but also how to answer them. It was a struggle, but worth the experience journey. Thanks ❤

[@TheIloveme9]

Digging DEEP with my therapist, breathwork and ending with visualization and meditation, self forgiveness has helped me finally allow myself to succeed and accept and love myself. I’m 52, raised 3 daughters on my own, completed nursing school, and overcame addiction & an abusive childhood of sexual abuse & a mom that hides from everything. NOW I love the bad ass I’ve become- I’m strong and deeply loving & emotional. If a man I meet doesn’t like that- NEXT! ❤ Thank you for your content Lisa!

[@alwaysandi5867]

This is mic drop, mind blowing. Helping me reframe sooo much. Things I've felt deep down......validation.

[@Aisha_babii]

The point she made about not asking certain questions because we don’t want to answer them is very true for me. I don’t ask because I don’t want to have to answer them myself 😩

[@Jacquelinerenees]

You mentioned that we are afraid to feel the uncomfortable feelings because it reminds us of the most painful experience we’ve ever had. 100%

[@risdaaprilia7021]

oMG!!!! That is absolutely true. thats why i dont like to be single and afraid to be with myself because it reminds me during my childhood im all alone at home and i hate it. i hate to be alone

[@CaliJen]

So much this! When I feel them pull away (which I guess is healthy to some regard) my abandonment issues are super triggered! In this new relationship he has pursued but as he’s pulled back a bit I am angry at myself for believing this time might be different.

[@ninaibanez]

SHE TALKS SO RAPIDLY 😂😂😂

[@anamoisinho7628]

You can change it on settings.

[@cheeewio]

Omg this is absolute GOLD. I wish I watched it before I made the decision to stop seeing someone I really liked. Things I could’ve said if I wasn’t operating out of fear / anxiety. I wish I had said, “I really like you and developed feelings over time.” Initially I wasn’t too interested nor did I feel a “spark.” As a result, I couldn’t be myself around him because I had my guard up and I held back. I wish I would have been more open and let my walls down and allowed him to get to know the real me. Instead, that wall drove him away as a result he didn’t put in the effort I desired. Oh well, a learning lesson and I will def need to work on myself and my growth. Tbh we barely dated but I feel kind of heart broken that I let that go 😭.

[@Amazingme17]

Don't beat yourself up. You'll have plenty of times to practice this tactic.

[@Darima2]

I do that too. I just found out I have a fearful avoidant attachement style so now Im learning about it to become more aware of how it manifests. I took 2 tests online so I suggest you do that. One is on Personal developemnt schoool website which is also a youtube channel here. Really eye opening.

[@kimgordon3695]

View it as your heart opening 💕

[@lunarsann5499]

dont give up, and explain dont ignore the feeling tell him the feeling.

[@helendavies5252]

Yes!!! This is me. At first he showed lots of interest, and I wasn't too sure about him. Then as time went on, the more I found out about him, the more I began to like about him. I was afraid of showing my true self in case he didn't like me. There were many things I wanted to say and didn't. We weren't in a relationship where we were dating, it was an online and phone relationship. We met up several times. Then he told me he'd met someone and I was heartbroken and hurt. A could of weeks ago he contacted me, I braved up and asked about the other woman, he said they'd seen each other for a couple of weeks. I am now going to be brave this weekend and ask what it is he wants from me and why he actually contacted me, as he hasn't replied to a few of my messages. I'm not going to put up with being messed around any longer!

[@roxy7255]

Absolutely love this. It’s spot on falling in love does not erase years of childhood trauma overnight.

[@ashleyalba2193]

This is the FIRST time I don’t have to play a video xfaster and actually slower.

[@OTF-nv1bw]

Thaaaaank you! Sabrina talks so fast!

[@sp4rkle81]

@@OTF-nv1bwshe does

[@amaliahettinger3485]

Haha I’ve had to rewind so many times bc she talks so fast!

[@zhuifeng]

i put 0.75 speed😂

[@malgkur]

This lady is in the anxious-avoidant loop and is overexplaining her behaviour with her incompatible partner. I feel bad for her. An axious person should not be with an avoidant. Go read the book "Attached". Also the pace at which she speaks gives me anxiety I guess. 😅

[@Healthnut1976]

Yeah why is she talking so fast??

[@tgfitzgerald]

​@@Healthnut1976 Because that's who she is. I'm a fast talker too but not because I'm anxious or there's something wrong with me. It's because my brain processes information at lightning speed and my speech patterns reflect that. Just because someone's behavior is different from yours doesn't necessarily mean it's toxic. Some people speak more slowly and that's okay too. But should someone who doesn't even know you automatically assume you' speak that way because you're not all that smart?

[@-._.-KRiS-._.-]

@@tgfitzgerald I agree with what you said. I had to watch this interview on 2x speed because otherwise it's way too slow to get through.

[@ceelettice]

This is the comment I was looking for. I’ve tried watching this interview twice and keep having the same reservations both times about her advice. It does seem like she is trying to justify some not great behaviors being displayed by her partner and she’s adjusting to it.

[@shanluann6417]

I agree. I honestly hope that were wrong obviously, because I do feel bad for her and she seems like a great person but I know from my own experience in relationships where I’ve been with an avoidant partner (and I’m anxious) that it can almost end up that we’re making excuses for their behaviour because we doubt ourselves and have low self worth

[@lorrainecurry2501]

There’s a great book. Never Chase Men Again is the title. Every woman should read this. It’s also on audible.❤❤❤

[@dammyOmolebii]

I instantly got it thanks sis

[@Amazingme17]

44:58 So true I've had a lot of men get upset because I don't text back fast enough. I'm a FT worker, single mom of 3. Sir, you're not my current priority. Accept that I'm busy & I'll respond back once I slow down for the day. It's a major turn off rather than them simply asking my next availability for a lunch date, etc.

[@marlenehaigler6603]

I will always be straight, genuine, transparent, and real and loving if that's not what someone else wants they're not right for me. Thank you so much. This is how I've been feeling.

[@juliesaville9241]

I agree with the mirroring is fabulous! Being the one who chases as a women is devaluing yourself I’ve done it. It’s like the natural process was reversed. Not right. Wonderfully honest podcast /interview xx

[@Portia620]

Did that in my marriage and never again! I don’t even get excited anymore. Dating is strange. I’m like sure now let us See how long this last. 😂😂. I just have fun with it and don’t sleep with them or kiss them. Not holding my breath

[@woboznz]

I agree, i have to let the man come towards me and if they don't, i don't chase them. It's not the man for me then. It's just human biology I'll never chase a man again...

[@Sherry1092]

I love that I don’t relate to any of this anymore. I’ve done so much work to heal my trauma and lack of self worth. It’s soooo possible!

[@nikhat779]

Hey, could you guide how you did it?

[@JessforR]

I'm excited to finding this channel. I have been dating, and I don't have time for the games that so many people recommend. Boundaries, healthy attachment, yes, but I'm not chasing and not maintaining interest in people who aren't good for me.

[@quynhvu2381]

My experience if a guy really is interested he would text next day and show consistent pursuing behaviors in planning for dates. Good advice for not taking rejection personally. Thank you.

[@alcudiababe1]

I agree fully with the woman's opening advice about the anxious attachment if you try and become what you feel the other partner needs like if they didn't like it when their expartner didn't talk about their feelings and shut them out and your naturally a private person - then you'd be abandoning your true self to meet their needs when a simple conversation could be had where it is communicated that you don't talk about your feelings because you deal with yours differently but if you don't do that and have that conversation you are altering your personality for another person. I was actually thinking about the relationship between me and my husband recently but here's the thing, I don't feel self conscious around him like I have to live my life by rules. For example not to swear just because he wants a lady like woman, or to pretend to be okay when things are bothering me because he doesn't want drama - you know things like that - I'm literally my full self around him and I feel comfortable. I don't feel shamed, or embarrassed or like I should have tried to gain his favour - we bicker over things we disagree with. It's healthier to argue in a relationship because people who really don't there's a problem because I don't work to appease him and therefore I'm not stressed with that burden of needing to be self conscious over what I say, how I say what I say (I am that way with my parents but that's just how the dynamic is between us) but because I'm not that way with my husband I'm happier and healthier because I'm not in an anxious state of needing to please him and because the anxiety isn't there mentally I'm free. I don't have to think I have to meet all of his needs for him to like me but if I know he appreciates it when I run a bath for him using my bath bombs I'll do it because I want to make him feel like I care for him..

[@kimgordon3695]

What does saying "NO" ~MEAN

[@flying_like_a_heroine]

Loved her tips on how to emotionally regulate ❤🎉❤ brilliant. 80% of the healing happens in the body. 20% intellectual - feeling is the secret to healing 🎉

[@zmazzyhtx]

Holy shit I could not agree with the intro more. I always thought the dating advice like that is so manipulative and I never understood how it would get me a relationship I actually wanted. Being authentic is absolutely key. That’s why dating is such a nightmare these days, no one is who they are, they’re all playing games. So over it. Excited to listen to the rest of this.

[@hollyc.691]

If a dude "isn't a good texter" that's code for "I don't want to be bothered to message you often" 😂

[@kimgordon3695]

Or I'm busy w things more important than I see You 😢

[@googleuser-one]

Or he’s dumb as a rock and illiterate. Or he’s texting 10 other people at the same time

[@shanluann6417]

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