Workplace Microaggressions

[@xMaenadx]

Microaggression happen in families at work place, it is not something only a person of colour can experience. It is simply a bias for oneself or ones own group identity. Humans suppress their aggression towards one another in competitive settings in order to engage in civil manner that means the only way we can show aggression is by packaging it in a nice way. It is a ment to hurt exclude or belittle but on the surface tactfully delivered. I find its tough for people who love themselves and believe in their own goodness to allow another to potentially excel or challenge them. Imagine I have access to certain resources because of my ability and identity allows me certain social comforts and an outsider comes along causing me discomfort, I can be nice to them but my suppressed discomfort will leak with microggressions until slowly they are kicked out the door and I can relax and enjoy the resource of my environment again.

[@hrhubtalk]

Hi Maenad. Thanks so much for this thoughtful and detailed perspective. It's really helpful as we struggle to understand what is a microaggression vs just a comment and avoid the former.

[@bethanywallaceco]

This conversation has been really helpful to me as a consultant who works with organizations to resolve conflicts. I especially appreciate the suggested responses and action items. Thank you!

[@hrhubtalk]

Thanks Bethany!

[@solutionsexplained]

An excellent breakdown of the realities and impact of microaggressions. Something else that would be important to look at are part of this conversation is psychological safety.

[@hrhubtalk]

Thanks again Roman! That's a good point. Microaggressions are definitely not part of a psychologically safe workplace.

[@solutionsexplained]

​@@hrhubtalk As well as it is difficult to truly address microaggressions without psychological safety.

[@hrhubtalk]

@@solutionsexplained Ahhh yes. This at least partially answers a question I asked on LinkedIn this week. Investigations and performance management is poor way to deal with microaggressions... but you COULD start with creating, at least, the expectation of psychological safety. Good one!

[@solutionsexplained]

@@hrhubtalk Absolutely, a lot of the reactionary approaches to addressing these issues are merely band aids. Targeting cultural change is the only way to deal with these types of issues, sustainably. If you are interested, check out some of our videos, we get into explanations on this kind of stuff in our material. :)

[@hrhubtalk]

@@solutionsexplained I subscribed! I am posting another episode soon about a product that allows employees to report anonymously. This could then drive an understanding of what aspects of culture need to be addressed.

[@stevensvideosonyoutube]

It's not women only. Developmental challenges, don't pertain to children only. Men facing psychological challenges are subjected to the same aggressive behavior, even though it's culturally taboo to say that.

[@hrhubtalk]

100% I think we focused on women because Emily's professional focus is women. I'm doing another episode on microaggressions (I recorded it yesterday) and it is more general. And it certainly made me think. But to be clear, microaggressions can be subtle attacks on anyone's identity.

[@alimccreery755]

I’ve had this particular problem happen to me in the workplace and family. Most of the time most people have a lot on their mind and I’m willing to let it go over my head. When this happens repeatedly for no reason I would then begin to examine why. When I find that I’m minding my own business and doing my job I then chalk it up to being the other person’s issue and not mine. My doing my job shouldn’t bring on this type of behavior and therefore is not my problem or responsibility to solve it. Toxic behavior needs to be the responsibility of the person who is displaying it.

[@vanessap2814]

Can someone let me know if this is MA, my boss and I were gathered in a meeting. She askedne questiob like this, "are you frustrated lawyer"? She said it because she observed I was good in writinf and uses good vocabularymaybe like a lawyer tone for her. They requested me after to use laymanster words. I dont know ehat would be my feeling but it feels like it violates my freedom to express, and suspend my growth

[@hrhubtalk]

Hi Vanessa. I don't know where you are or who you are, but microaggressions are usually on the basis of someone characteristic that relates to your identity (gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation etc). I don't have facts on your situation, but from this very short description, it sounds more like it would land in the normal bullying and harassment category unless any of the identity factors are at play. It could be both.

[@omogenaija1]

Hello, The ebook link does not work. Can you please provide it?

[@hrhubtalk]

Sorry about that! I am checking with Emily and will get back to you.

[@rustynails68]

Spend no time trying to modify the behavior of the aggressors, it has no effect. Spend all your energy and time making people secure and confident. This will take work on the part of the weak person.

[@normanbaloy1538]

My expirence to my employer one color 24 hours duty paying 8 hours only, mix color or nationality 8 hours everyday have 1st,2nd,3rd sheep what did you call of this???

[@PotterSpurn1]

This is ridiculous. No one can go around day in and day out policing every word they say for fear of offending someone. The default position for you is that all people of colour are victims and need protecting from daily assaults on their life by white people. Furthermore, the whole concept of micro-aggressions can cause a real no-win dilemma... E.g., Supposing I work in mixed heritage team . This is England and so there are four white people, a fully integrated black person and an Asian. I buy snacks for the team: crisps, sandwiches, fizzy drink...all the stuff I would like to eat myself - typical food I'd find in the local supermarket nearest to me. 1. Am I racist for not having bought some spicy snacks for the Asian too, making him/her feel invalidated ethnically or culturally - and so left out? 2. Am I racist if I had deliberately bought some spicy snacks and I'd commented that I had got them for him/her to enjoy, only to find out that they rejected them and would prefer sandwiches and crisps and beer and never touch spicy snacks. I just assumed they fitted the stereotypical curry eating Asian? Sometimes you can never win. You are wrong when you are wrong, you are wrong when you are right. These kind of misunderstandings are the stuff of life and if you are in a minority culture, it is obvious that you are going to experience more of these issues. But that isn't racism, that is just the way it is when you don't form the majority culture. I am sure if I lived in a majority black country and culture, I would more than likely experience the same perceived misunderstandings and petty annoyances. Most people are well meaning and they don't deserve to have every word, ever action being perceived in such a negative light or made to feel bad for being themselves. Obvious racism is usually very obvious, but many examples are not. Overall, I found the overarching message to be one of self-victimisation, self-pity and worst of all self-disempowerment. No one should go through life depending on others to feel good about themselves or proud of themselves for who they are or their background. Yet this is precisely what this lady is teaching: that her self esteem depends on others not to micro-aggress otherwise her psychological safety will be impacted. That is very self-demeaning and sad. There are no winners with this horrible woke culture which fosters non-white self pity over self-validation and personal pride. Rudeness is rudeness and many of the examples of MA's explored here would be insulting to anyone, no matter what their background and heritage. That invalidates them as a micro-aggression beause they are not colour/race specific. e.g., the Harvard example.

[@hrhubtalk]

Hi PotterSpurn. Thanks for the honesty and consideration of the issues. I get where you're coming from. It's tough to watch what you say for fear of upsetting someone. Your example about buying snacks demonstrates how hard it might be to be considerate but not stereotype. I think it is true that most people don't mean harm, but sometimes harm is done even so. I don't think we have it all figured out and that discussions like these will help. I think we can do better with respect to DEI generally and I'll be asking some frank practioners some questions in this regard soon... still working out the date, but maybe watch for it if you are interested.

[@PotterSpurn1]

@@hrhubtalk HI, thanks for your response. I appreciate your input and yes I will watch. I have no wish to hurt anyone -inadvertently or otherwise - in my interactions with black colleagues and friends. Neither do I want to be regarded as racist or, worst still, to get into any trouble, when my intention was well meaning. It's really all about give and take and hearing each others' postion.

[@hrhubtalk]

@@PotterSpurn1Hopefully those who inend harm are few and far between. I am just back from vacation! I need to get on this panel I am planning!