Xmas Ham Slicer & Card Writer

Three time-saving contraptions to make Christmas that little bit easier: A ham slicing device, eggnog server and a machine to write multiple Christmas cards at the same time.
Watch me demo them on Jimmy KImmel Live here!:
• Christmas Contraptions...
Support me on PATREON: / josephsmachines
► Welcome to my channel! I am an inventor of useless machines.
► Subscribe so that you never miss a new one! bit.ly/2vVFVQe
Music is by the Jews Brothers Band, track "Tchavolo Swing" (the singer is my mother!) Please support them by buying their track: bit.ly/2iuOQBN
Website: josephsmachines.com
Facebook: / josephsmachines
Instagram: / josephsmach. .
Twitter: / josephsmachines
JOSEPH'S MACHINES solve everyday problems using familiar objects in unfamiliar ways. He creates them in his apartment in Brooklyn, New York.
Created by Joseph Herscher
Featuring Jia-ling Yang, Ellen Rose, Lindsay Gonzalez and Helen Anstis

[@vivianhuang313]

That thing that pushes the ham forward is actually so cool. You’re an actual genius

[@sloopy5912]

hey sweetheart, that's called a really good engineer.

[@timmy18135]

I would have gone with a ham guillotine

[@korogiri]

What a nice and definetely self knitted pullover

[@Gem-gi7km]

2:28 I am baffled that it actually worked :O :D man, good job! :D

[@meeeecah]

The LEGO, battery and domino idea was REALLY smart

[@ura4321]

I am just imagining your Thanksgiving and Easter dinners. "Who would like to like to cut the the main course?" "I will." Yet, you had already started the kinetic chain reaction 30 minutes before the question was asked.

[@jackofallspades98]

Ok, that ham one was actually really smart. I love how the motion of the spinning blade also acts as the method for pushing out the differently sized objects. Absolutely brilliant!

[@tom_something]

You're making great progress on that sweater. I see you've put the tag on it already.

[@lewiskelly14]

Good spot!

[@neolibiran3024]

I saw it too hahaha

[@hoiyichoi5934]

Me5

[@joshr5151]

was gonna like this but i noticed it was at 69

[@mj1310]

I saw!!

[@two-face1041]

5:09 trying told hold back the laughter lol

[@yayuktrisna3114]

Ruikopppkj86

[@ConnerBennettsAquariums]

Same

[@FlatOnHisFace]

I was genuinely impressed that the pens worked, even if they couldn't be lifted off the cards. Then he powders the doughnuts and I'm giddy with the re-purposing ingenuity. Then the theater troupe make-up applications! My eyes are watering, and I'm desperate to inhale so I can breathe, I'm laughing so hard.

[@akhilrajshah1232]

BEST CHANNEL on KZbin. The reaction and make up videos are just muck compared to this guy's hard-work

[@GEMixYT]

THIS MACHINES SHOULD BE DEVELOPED AND SOLD

[@wuznab5109]

These projects are the safest things I’ve seen on a while on KZbin.

[@nali2773]

your probably one of the best youtuber in the whole world of youtube.

[@princevictory1198]

Why is this channel dont have 1million Subscriber!?

[@avigokuu]

IKR ? people are missing out stuff man,

[@princevictory1198]

@@avigokuu Yes men

[@walx-2531]

Prince Victory k

[@harleydaniels6001]

Ikr

[@SpriceMachines]

These are all so unbelievably creative!

[@maisamororaculo]

Legal

[@mrtoxane5498]

Illegal

[@eggdogispog]

Leagl

[@jamestopic2880]

Hi Spice machines, I’m subscribed.

[@ianredman9741]

love it

[@tracyjeanthorne569]

i just have to say... your machines... R EPIC!

[@firahusniyah6770]

The lipstick one, it's so hilarious

[@evanferguson7813]

Didn't work too well for the other 3.

[@okayxela1138]

Fira is short ikr they were all trying not to laugh XD

[@viralvidio303]

Ngopi lurd

[@siimplymckenziie7588]

Evan Ferguson you are kinda right

[@radityadewangga]

@@viralvidio303matalo

[@danylrusso]

*_NO HAM WAS HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS VIDEO_*

[@casslace4557]

@ Hayden

[@mariajones6598]

Good cus daddy's home

[@johabelalmanzar138]

Haminations

[@0_0..0_0..0]

*Seems legit*

[@nametakenrage]

This reply section makes 0 sence

[@flame7255]

It's funny how his sweater that he was knitting had a store price tag.

[@TGSOfficialEdits]

😂

[@Aretha1963]

Just watched you on Jimmy Kimmel a few minutes ago and subscribed right away. I’m going to share your post. We need stuff like this. Seriously I think children and young people will be inspired. It’s not as easy as it might look. I could even see school projects like this. I don’t what to exclude older adults too. I know this will inspire so many people.

[@augustbrown7129]

this is a very safe way to slice ham.

[@therealspookspeak]

_sarcasm_

[@rulian8995]

I agree

[@---nobody---]

I just found your channel through wired and I just want to say I love your videos! They’re super creative and really funny. You have an awesome personality too.

[@trustinwilliams8593]

I’m not him but I give you support... your a nice guy

[@ColeV]

Wow! He must've had a lot of time on his hands, he was even able to add a tag to the sweater!

[@archanabandal2001]

Best KZbin channel ever

[@vincent7520]

Joseph, you simply make my day (or night …) each time I watch one of your videos… Thank you …

[@redstonerelic]

0:16 "And I'm Going to attach this electric knife to it" Sounds Safe

[@jhebertdelacruz5437]

You like taking risks, don't ya?

[@therealspookspeak]

*"Don't try this"* Of course i have a metal chandelier, electric knife, and a ham...

[@Wa_rGod]

Blast Saturniums your missing the metal rods, wood planks, concrete Bricks and big brains

[@raissasuwardhono]

NanoMation LMAO good one!

[@arwen-_-E.M.P.]

Blast Saturniums I can understand the Ham, But YOU DON’T HAVE AN ELECTRIC KNIFE?!

[@therealspookspeak]

@@Wa_rGod and personal weighs

[@SK4y]

LOOOOOL

[@jusawaterbottle]

Why is this channel so underrated

[@avigokuu]

Loving this new style, interacting and talking and stuff. WE NEED MORE !!

[@Nicoblabla]

The card writing is actually genius hahaha

[@Elfland.]

This concept was actually developed by Thomas Jefferson.

[@hightechnoobfan1092]

No the lipstick one

[@BrandMath-ns5yc]

This is my favorite channel it's like watching Pee Wee Herman or SpongeBob. Thanks for the amazing videos

[@TheBlueberryymuffin]

Brand. Math minus the pervert

[@enthusiasticbanana6232]

Usually saying something is handwritten by a machine wouldn't make sense, but here, he's actually right.

[@lillypip27]

We Love your videos! My daughter has been doing a project on them at school- along with making a video to send to you with ideas of new machines! Looking forward to seeing what ideas you recreate! 👍🏻👍🏻

[@thorondor1593]

Hand-written by my machine, i.e. every American business's slogan.

[@sonalidalal8400]

Good one

[@nathansanders5669]

All you need is to unplug wifi and handcuffs. And all gamer girls need to cover up better.

[@halfnwhole751]

4:32 How Lil pump writes his lyrics

[@delilahjk1034]

nobody lol

[@anthostlouis5388]

I didn't get it...

[@gensischosen251]

@@anthostlouis5388 cuz he's songs are bad written that why and it's funny

[@anthostlouis5388]

@@gensischosen251 Ah...ok... that's not funny...

[@WilliamParkerer]

Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang

[@DarthAlphaTheGreat]

It’s people like this guy we have the technologically advanced world today. Bravo!

[@ethanthebread5046]

Let’s get Joseph’s KZbin channel to 1million subscribers!

[@danielstraughan2125]

I tried it at home Now in hospital

[@noitibmar]

You might need to add a Z axis to the cardwriter. Then it'll be absolutely perfect.

[@gametrue2229]

Noitibmar its like this right? /

[@alptugkaantemir5143]

Very good idea!

[@TRAVELLEROFWORLDS]

A Word of Warning indeed. Love this CHANNEL

[@jaredbredenhof9185]

2:39 the shape in the end of the broom is genius for controlling the speed!! Great video

[@adamsucksatyt]

It's like the governor inside a wind up music box It is limiting the speed

[@A_FatPenguin]

Dont Try This At Home ME : Hey uh Bob? Mind if i come over today?

[@Fukei_Mono]

Thin, medium and *in a slightly girly voice* whoa....... large.

[@connorgaming2559]

WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[@andylim8875]

NooB

[@AlbinoTalkative]

This guy is the future

[@AK-nt4wp]

I'm a young inventor and you inspired me when I was 4 years young just wanna say thank you

[@JosephsMachines]

You are most welcome,! How old are you now?

[@AK-nt4wp]

Thank you so much your mum and your dad are amazing musicians my first contraption was a marbel marvel rolling down a tube falling and rolling with a toilet paper roll and hitting the weight and then dropping another marble onto the floor

[@AK-nt4wp]

@@JosephsMachines I am 10 years old

[@phoenixboys7732]

Dont try this at home *me trying outside*

[@jackknauff2566]

Phoenix Boys that’s your home

[@goushii7994]

100 like 💯

[@klawz1801]

Viableglitter 93 oof

[@nicholaodell3901]

Phoenix Boys ‘o

[@nicholaodell3901]

*

[@cigdemkm5628]

Thin, medium, and *OP*

[@shashanktripathi6277]

One of the most genious youtuber ,Hats off 🙏

[@L00PdeL00P]

nothing is as mesmerizing as watching this man create

[@davidkovar4491]

Hi, pls do a video where you will use only your machines to your normal day

[@TABBYMUSIC]

When will these be available for purchase?

[@Late_NightRev]

You deserve an Oscar.

[@savenfromsrilankahewagelik4397]

You are the best you tuber I know because you are showing how make the machine

[@orenwd8083]

*electric knives are very sharp, YOU MIGHT HURT YOURSELF* me: REALLY? I NEVER KNEW THAT

[@orenwd8083]

this is the true meaning of trial and error

[@aditya4974]

You deserve 1 million subscribers dude! Awesome machines everytime 👏👏

[@daboiz4328]

We need people like him in our society

[@UKDrivingTest]

Dam this machine cuts the meat far better than my mum #shreddedham

[@PranitaPathakOnline]

It's not your moms fault, it's the knife's fault.... Maybe #NeverQuestionMOM

[@arlingtoncummins8814]

“Electric knives are actually very sharp” I know dude.

[@Julian-tf8nj]

The writing/etc machine is fabulous! :)

[@rares0671]

This guy is a legendary creator of mashines I like this guy!!!

[@lizdeans1329]

0:19 don’t try this at home! Okay! I’ll do it at a park!

[@Theironminer-ky2pg]

kindergarden*

[@georgeruiz9211]

Nursery*

[@XX-lk8jr]

Тима

[@user-sm7jp4tb8b]

Нигде нельзя!

[@anthostlouis5388]

Pause at 3:57 He "maked" a sweather, but there is the ticket in the neck that say if it's small, medium, large (...)

[@TheDIYScienceGuy]

This is pure gold! You have my sub!

[@Ju1iuz_]

I love how the tag was on the sweater

[@iamplaky9168]

I love your মগজ😎

[@SaltySalman]

Bangali?

[@tanuj3656]

😂😂😂😂

[@AK-nt4wp]

Hi Joseph I love your moms voice at the ends of the video IWAS SO NERVOUS FOR THE HAM SLICER😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

[@aidanwansbrough7495]

Those machines are brilliant!!!

[@adamcheng2954]

*-early i am-*

[@crusherbeatbox976]

That Inventions are really awesome ! You've got a new Subscriber :D Greetings from Germany

[@yambammer7277]

Yay I’ve been waiting so long for a new vid I love them they are so entertaining

[@ayatidubey8128]

This guy lives in another universe.

[@lilmartinez1992]

OMG I'm crying right now I'm so happy you said hi

[@jaxnean2663]

Amazing! Love the makeup contraption!

[@raghavjoshi5722]

Simple awesome man. Great one, keep going

[@torbojet]

Your effort is praiseworthy.👍

[@grapejuice8072]

i tried all of it and it work perfectly :D

[@geraldlancen.petallo904]

The most genius person in the world

[@magiciangob]

Dang, Justin McElroy is a producer-level Patron? I knew I had good taste in watching these videos! That powdered doughnut bit was hilarious and unexpected.

[@timsoft3]

the lipstick applicater was very funny. The ladies were sports and managed not to laugh :-)

[@berriez5409]

Good job on the ham

[@YEET-of4mz]

You need to have guiness world record the best machine maker

[@ameerarif6030]

Great video your such a creative person I love your videos there so entertaining and satisfying

[@nosockgaming5919]

this guy is a freaking genius

[@haventhebeast6050]

IKR :-)

[@FujishimaAkiko]

Rube Goldberg machines are just fantastic! I get WAY too excited watching these...lol! :D

[@adamsucksatyt]

I also enjoy Rube Goldberg machines They are SO GOOD I COULD WATCH THIS ALL DAY

[@oddities-whatnot]

Unbelievable ingenuity.

[@jeffreya.taylor1907]

I'll be waiting for my Christmas card!!!!

[@hatredbeast8572]

2:47 thats when you are so excited to show people what you did 😂😂😂

[@herlinda1981]

This man is smarter then my math and sience teacher

[@henrytidholm1638]

Congrats on 300k subs!

[@JosephsMachines]

Thanks!

[@olil22672]

Merry Christmas Joseph.

[@amywhitlock7510]

It’s amazing how you are doing it 😀😀😀

[@janeysaenz868]

Loved seeing you on Jimmy Kimmel! Great!

[@ItzTocaTube]

I love Joseph machines 😻❤️😘

[@kzkimbeau10]

Thanks for the advice Joseph

[@catric]

amazing video as always :)

[@waioxgaming1220]

Awesome bro

[@SlingshotPhighting]

Hey joseph you can make a video teaching how to make simple machines for quarantine plz i love your channel and your videos

[@savenfromsrilankahewagelik4397]

I will support you by giving infinity likes

[@razibulhassan2601]

Those 3 girls' lipstick was awesome